#this is ALWAYS and infodumping positive zone

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

hi autistic librarian in training (the librarian part is the in training part, I don't need anyone to teach me how to be autistic) here to answer your library question

a lot of college libraries will use the library of congress classification, which just goes more detailed than the dewey decimal classification does. ddc works well for smaller libraries and lcc is better for research/academic libraries.

ddc uses just numerals (and then by authors last name if two books have the same call number) to classify books and has about 10 broad classes to sort topics into, while lcc uses letters and numbers (and also years sometimes) and has 21 classes to sort into. they get stacked on top of each other like some unholy warlock sigil, I love it.

for example, here's the call number for the self-help book my boss made me check out, using llc:

BF 575 .H27 H375 2022

meanwhile with ddc, it's call number is just 158.1

and all fiction books are classified under 813.54, which is. a lot of books.

but yeah there are a whole bunch of library classification systems just in english but a whole bunch more when you branch out to other languages which I think is super neat

some other examples in english-speaking places include the colon classification (cc), universal decimal classification (udc), moys classification system (used in law libraries in canada, australia, new zealand, the uk), etc. there are a bunch more too

for folklore books and fairy tales, if your library uses library of congress, I'd go look in the GRs, maybe dabble into the GTs, for the non-fiction aspect of learning mythology, and pop by the PS200-300s for fictional stories that draw from a lot of folklore (but that's not going to be all inclusive for the PSes, as P is the lovely literature section. there's gonna be a lot in there).

*jazz hands* thanks for coming to my tedtalk

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh gosh this is actually so cool, ive been schooled !! /pos

i get annoyed with libraries when they use things other than ddc because thats the one i have my favorites memorized in, but i always thought those libraries were being pretentious and using their own proprietary system or something. this makes WAY more sense and now im gonna go ham memorizing my favorites in all of these two. thank you for sharing!!!!

[lilyhoshikawa]

Futaba headcanons master post time >:3c

Much credit to @a-missing-ache for talking to me a bunch about this girl so I could put this together~! Many of the ideas here were either ideas she had that I adopted, or things that came up in conversation with her.

- Autistic trans girl with depression, PTSD, and psychosis. Experiences paranoid delusions and visual and auditory hallucinations prior to her arc in the game. Prone to suicide idealization and intrusive thoughts. Susceptible to self-harm if her self-hatred goes unchecked.

- Some of her main special interests are computers, video games, and anime. She gets extremely hyperfixated on games that she really likes and will play them basically nonstop. She’ll play Animal Crossing for a full day if someone isn’t there to cut in and stop her.

- The coat she wears in winter is her favorite, it’s a very good texture stim and she likes to rub her face against the fluffy bit at the top. She also likes to stim with arm flaps or kicking her leggies, but she gets nervous about doing this in public.

- She wears her headphones pretty much all the time as a sensory tool. Often times she won’t have anything playing, but the headphones have a noise-cancelling mode that she leaves it on most of the time to avoid sensory overload and feel safer. She basically only takes them off if they need to charge or she knows it’s safe to. She panics when they run out of battery, but she has an additional pair of wired headphones to use when her main pair is charging. She has basically the longest battery life she could get on her wireless headphones, but since she frequently passes out at random times without turning them off or plugging them in they still die fairly frequently on her. She can’t go to sleep without some headphones on playing white noise or a podcast or quiet music from a video game.

- She goes nonverbal fairly frequently, and typically makes use of texting to communicate with others instead. If she’s alone, she’ll often call one of the other thieves (Ren most often) to have them talk to her and ground her, and sometimes speak for her if need be. After her initial arc, Sojiro learns about her texting thing and gets help from Ren with learning how to use a phone to text and starts using it to text her when she needs to.

- Sojiro’s curry is her staple food, and she eats it pretty much at least once a day for the most part.

- She’s a big coffee drinker, and she takes it black. Sojiro previously would make her a cup in the morning and bring some back from his work when he came home at night, with her leaving the room to make her own cup during the afternoon. She finds drinking it relaxing.

- Prior to meeting the Phantom Thieves, she experienced fairly regular hallucinations and delusions, often being convinced that her mother was in her room or was out to get her somehow. She would hear her mother talking to her or see her appear in her room and usually leave in a panic if she could manage to get up. Sojiro did his best to help her but really didn’t have the tools to understand what she was going through. After her Palace, she gains the confidence to be open with him about her experiences and is eventually put on medication to help with them. It doesn’t make it stop entirely, but becomes far less frequent and allows her to live a more normal life.

- She’ll sometimes have panic attacks which usually result in her laying in bed for awhile experiencing suicidal thoughts until they go away, but as time goes on she learns to manage these attacks a lot better, and avoid hurting herself or letting her intrusive thoughts run wild.

- Part of her shyness and social anxiety comes from a mix of autism, dysphoria, and a general lack of experience being out in the world. She’s easily startled and frightened and usually still needs someone to go with her any time she leaves the house. She likes to make herself small, which is why she frequently sits the way she does, and a lot of times she’ll just sit down on the floor, because she likes it there. She’ll frequently ask others to stop if she’s in too noisy of an area and begins to experience sensory overload, sit down on the floor in a quieter place somewhere and recharge.

- After the Hawaii trip, Ren decides to do video calls with Futaba sometimes so he can show her where he is or what he’s doing when she’s not feeling able to go outside that day. If she doesn’t want to show her face, she holds up a plushie or Morgana in front of her end of the screen instead.

- Part of her social anxiety is with presenting well in public, having fits of big dysphoria, and she’s pretty self-conscious about her voice, so she likes to do the texting thing a lot when she gets nervous and also just speak quietly sometimes, especially if it’s with Ren.

- She retains an issue with eating normally and still has a hard time convincing herself to eat sometimes, and will skip meals on occasion. She has a habit of texting one of the Thieves and asking them for permission to get a snack or a meal, and they always immediately tell her it’s okay, and that confirmation is enough for her. Sojiro sometimes takes her and Ren out for ice cream as a family bonding experience and she loves it. It was meant to be a one-off celebration after she recovered but she loved it so much Sojiro decided he had to make it a regular thing.

- She’s prone to taking depression naps, though before she starts recovering it’s less “depression naps” and more “she stays in her room with lights down and her curtains drawn so she has no concept of time and just kinda passes out and wakes up at random intervals with no consideration for what time it is”. She gets better about it but she falls back into weird and irregular sleeping patterns fairly often and she always hates resetting her internal clock. It’s at least easier than going until she collapses for days on end, though.

- She’ll often take naps inside her Persona, Navi, if she randomly gets tired while the group is just exploring and confirms they don’t think they’ll need her for some time. She’ll also sometimes nap in the Mona car. They’re safe, cozy little spaces that make her feel protected and comfortable so they’re prime napping spots.

- Ren has insomnia and Futaba has a really messed up sleep schedule so sometimes when they’re both awake at like 4am they’ll just text each other and sometimes play a game with one another to pass the time.

- She’s still very prone to nightmares and will sometimes wake up in a panic, and if no one is around it sometimes results in a full meltdown and in the worst case scenario she ends up getting hurt, so she tries to keep people on standby.

- She is, in fact, very funny and snarky when she wants to be, and is actually good at communicating her infodumps with humor and casual speech that makes it understandable for the others.

- If she’d not immediately involved in a conversation that involves a large enough group of people, she’ll just zone out until she’s mentioned again or feels a time to interject. Sometimes she’ll start playing phone games.

- She plays trading card games. She sometimes joins competitive tournaments online when she can, but is too scared to go to them IRL. She promises herself she’ll try it some day.

- As a disaster pansexual, she is very prone to developing crushes on any random girl at a coffee shop who’s even the littlest bit nice to her. She’s still got crushes on Ann and Haru, both of whom know it (it’s fairly obvious), but they don’t let her know that.

- She likes to pose, or do silly energetic motions just for the fun of it. She takes joy in just doing a little dance while she’s talking to someone sometimes. She likes to go “nya” also, especially around Morgana.

- She has nicknamed the position she always goes into whenever she sits (usually to make herself feel cozy and safe and also to be as small as possible) the “Futababall”.

- Before meeting the Thieves, she actually didn’t play multiplayer games very much, as even that level of interaction with others intimidated her to some degree. Ren was the first person she ever played video games with, and she kicked his ass at Smash Bros.

- She experiences periods of severe dysphoria during which she struggles to look at herself and often feels hopelessness or despair. During these periods Ren and Sojiro have taken to putting up a blanket to cover the bathroom mirror so that she can still shower normally and wash her hands and go in and out of the bathroom.

- Before her Palace, she would often go days without eating, or only eat once, through a mix of forgetting to eat, losing track of time, and convincing herself she didn’t deserve it. She sometimes relapses on this but is usually good about bouncing back after a day or two.

- The Thieves star making Futaba’s room one of their main meeting places because she feels safe and comfortable there.

- She doesn’t like it when her room is brightly lit up but if it’s pitch-dark with no lights on she becomes extremely anxious and terrified, gets jittery and sometimes has panic attacks or experiences visual hallucinations. Her preferred method is to use the light of her computer to keep the room dim, but bright enough to see everything, or having curtains half-drawn.

- She sometimes forgot to take her meds when she first started on them and this bothered her so much that she eventually began setting five distinct timers for each dose, and sometimes they’ll just all go off in succession when she’s with the group and confuse them all.

- She collects plushies of her favorite anime characters, because it’s merch you can hug!! She loves cuddling her plushies, especially when she’s feeling a bit nervous. They’re a nice sensory feeling, they remind her of her friends, and they feel safe.

- Sometimes when she’s having a hard time sleeping, she’ll invite Ren to come to her room to hang out while she falls asleep to help her feel safe. He’ll often invite Ryuji over for a date or something and she’ll help them set up a video game to play with each other while they’re there. Ryuji initially had a problem of yelling when he lost in the game and waking her up but he got better about it after awhile.

- Every morning around 5-6am Ren wakes up usually due to insomnia or nightmares and he immediately goes to check on Futaba to see if she’s asleep yet, he often finds her in her room on her laptop unaware of what time it is and when she sees him she does a little yell and jumps into bed and he reassures her that it’s ok before leaving and going back to bed.

- She likes to make fun of Ren for having a criminal record sometimes, noting that the hacking she’s done with Medjid is by far more illegal than him beating up a rich abuser once.

- She like spending time with the lady Phantom Thieves because she really likes girls and they all think it’s cute how gay she is, and try to give her tips about it. If Ren isn’t available she opts for inviting one or more of the girls to hang out with her and it makes her feel very good to be around them. Ann sometimes gives her some of her old clothes and it feels super validating for her.

[incorrect-miiverse]

CPU Mii Headcanons: Millie

Welcome back to CPU Mii Headcanons, the series where I infodump my headcanons about the many CPU Miis from the Wii and Wii U generations. This time, we've got Millie to look at. I've gotten into some of her headcanon, but honestly I want to go a little deeper into this. Enjoy :)

____________________________

Millie.... well, what can I say about her past that hasn't been buried deep into the darkest part of her mind..? Let's just say she has some angst in her life underneath that sweet and happy exterior, that's all.

That's just coming from parents who desperately wanted to live through their own daughter, but then expect her to be the third parent when her brother was born.

Also, while she chooses to remain faithful, Millie was originally a forced Mormon. Her family left the group before she was married off.

Now for some positive stuff...please! Throughout most of her life, she's been talented in choirs and vocals. In other words, she's a singer at heart!

Also Millie had been featured as a child actress for a brief moment of time on a local television show about kids growing up in middle school. She enjoyed it, but would rather lay low nowadays.

Since her younger brother Tristan (OC) had been born, Millie swears on her life to always keep him safe but also free. Oddly enough, she is naturally drawn to being a motherly spirit to Tristan.

She's a fighter for people with disabilities as both Tristan and her best friend Polly are in some way disabled. (Both are autistic but Tristan also may be hard of hearing)

Speaking of Polly, Millie was a pen pal to her since they were very young. Her class in primary school had been assigned international pen pals, and she was matched with a shy little Brit girl who drew Kirby all on her paper after writing the letter.

The friendship budded after the initial assignment, as they continued talking through letters and subsequently through text as online kids games got more popular (Pixie Hollow to be exact). They both had iPods by the time they had been around 13/14 years old, so they got their contact information and texted from iMessage. Any problems they had outside, they had each other to turn to.

Also around this time, Millie, like many other LGBT teens, started really questioning who she liked but had to closet herself for the duration of her teen years.

They culminated due to Polly, especially hearing her voice every other night due to time zone differences. Crushing on a girl? Not in her Christian server! (Yet)

It came to a head once the two were both adults. The confessions came, and thus their relationship made the next step into dating.

Let me be clear, they're young adults. Like...early 20s but look still super young.

She's not as much of a nerd as people think, but has always loved Nintendo.

She's the type to share her blanket and give some of her food serving to others so everyone can be warm and fed.

_____________________

If I forgot anything, let me know, and I'll see everyone with the next one!

-Admin

[madlori]

Lori Explains Hockey Players

[by which I mean, their positions and such, not...why they are the way they are.]

So you guys enjoyed my “Lori Explains Hockey Numbers” post so I thought I’d write another Hockey Infodump as a public service. More posts can come on additional topics.

My primary sports exposure growing up was football, which has teams of like a bojillion dudes, so when I first got into hockey and looked up the roster of my local team I was like...that’s it? That’s all the dudes they have?

Yes. Hockey teams have way fewer dudes than some other sports. A big reason football teams have so many players is a) there’s a lot more dudes on the field at once, b) there are two entirely different squads of dudes (offense and defense) and c) there are no minor leagues in NFL football, meaning nobody to call up if injuries happen. The NHL has five skaters on at once, nobody rides a bench, everybody plays, and they have minor league teams to sub in when needed. So here are the relevant numbers (there are other numbers - namely 50 and 90 - but these are the important ones):

23: The maximum number of players on a team’s active roster 20: The number of players a team is allowed to dress for a game.

The active roster is basically - the team. These are the guys who play primarily for the NHL club, who take the ice every night, who are signed to major-league contracts. This limit of 23 players applies from after preseason is over up through the NHL trade deadline (you cannot make player trades after this date) which is in late February - this year it’s February 24th at noon. After the deadline, you can hold as many players as you want provided you have cap space. Note: when a player goes on injured reserve, he doesn’t count against the 23. The 23 man roster is pretty darned official having to do with contracts and having to get players signed/cleared through the league.

What’s cap space? WELL. In 2005 the NHL negotiated a CBA (collective bargaining agreement) with the players to end the year-long lockout. Part of the CBA was a major change to the NHL pay structure - they instituted a salary cap. This means that each team has a finite pool of money from which to pay players. It was meant to equalize the game - this way no single team can hoard all the high-priced talent and dominate everyone. Largely, it’s worked. The chasm between the best team and the worst team is not...super huge. Any team can beat any other team at any time, and woe to you if you underestimate any opponent, even the worst team in the league.

So what’s the number 20? That’s how many players the team is allowed to dress (meaning get geared up and ready to play) for the game. You must dress two goalies. The other 18 are some combination of forwards and defenseman. Like 98% of the time it’s 12 forwards, 6 defensemen. Some teams play 11F/7D. Unlike the 23 person roster, the 20 player game-day roster is NOT super official and can change at the last minute and often does. Literally the head coach gives the officials the final roster shortly before the puck drop. If you’re one of the 23 but not one of the 20 for any given game, you’re said to have been “scratched.” 

Soooo what do those positions mean? At any given time, the team may have six players on the ice. There are no rules for what positions those players occupy. Theoretically you could have 6 defenseman on the ice, although that’d be stupid. 98% of the time, those six players are: goalie (1), defenseman (2) and forwards (3).

Goalie: Ok this may seem self-evident, but there are a few things that warrant mentioning. The goalie’s official title is “goaltender” and they are also often called the “netminder.” It is his job to stand in front of the goal and prevent pucks from entering. This might not sound easy and it’s probably even less easy than you think it is. Goalies are often not great skaters - I mean they don’t have to be fast - but they are often VERY athletic, as in flexible. A goalie needs to be able to do full splits in the massive amount of gear they have to wear. Goalies do train extensively, mostly to maintain their flexibility, reflexes, hand-eye coordination, visual sharpness and reaction time. There are different styles of goaltending - some are athletic and quick, some are positional and intuitive. They wear that gear because a puck weighs 6 ounces and can be going as much as 90 mph or more when fired and that shit hurts. Goalies are often very tall and lanky - the better to be able to quickly reach all sides of the net with their long limbs. The goalie cannot serve as team captain, because the captain is required to interact with on-ice officials and the goalie isn’t supposed to leave his crease (the term for the blue-paint area inside and in front of the goal). The goalie is often a very well known and beloved figure for a team - there’s only one primary goalie (as opposed to a couple dozen skaters) so he’s a visible figure. He’s the only player who is out there for the entire game (unless he’s hurt or pulled), and his heroics (or lack thereof) are often very memorable. The skaters are VERY protective of their goalie. There are extensive rules about what skaters are and aren’t allowed to do with regards to goalies and their little territories. If you touch a goalie, his players will make you sorry for it. After most wins, the players line up to Pat the Goalie. Goalies are the only players to get credit for a win.

Defensemen: D-men play in pairs. Teams usually roll three defenseman pairs. Often those pairs are pretty static, but they do get mixed up fairly regularly. Defensemen have to be really good at skating backwards, because what they’re most frequently found doing is facing the other team’s oncoming forwards in attempt to derail their scoring push, get the puck away from them, or block a shot. Defenseman are also usually the guys doing the most checking (or hitting) which means making bodily contact with the guy who has the puck in an attempt to get him OFF the puck. They’re traditionally the tougher guys, more likely to get in fights to defend a teammate, but that’s not a hard-and-fast rule. Defenseman can and do score goals. Some of them are really good at it. Shea Weber of the Canadiens is a multi-year champion at the Hardest Shot competition at the All-Star Game, and he’s a defenseman. Defensemen can also be captains. I can think of three teams off the top of my head have a D-man as their captain (the Bruins, the Canadiens and the Predators) - okay I just checked Wikipedia and 7 of the 27 current captains are D-men (four NHL clubs don’t currently have a captain). Another thing D-men do is - watch out, sports terminology crossover incoming - “quarterback” the power play. [A power play is when the other team has a penalty and a player is in the box, giving your team a man advantage]. Many power play squads consist of one defenseman and four forwards, although 3 and 2 is also common. The defensemen set up at the “points” which are the outer edges of the offensive zone, so they can keep the puck in the zone. One of the D-men is in charge of coordinating the power play action.

Forwards: These are the flashy guys, the fast quick skaters who can turn on a dime and shoot the puck. It’s their job to move the puck into the offensive zone and set up plays to score goals. Most high-profile players (certainly not all) are forwards. Forwards play in “lines” of three - center, left wing and right wing. The center is sort of the “boss” of the line; he’s usually the guy taking the face-off (although any of the forwards can do it) and orchestrating the plays on the ice. Teams roll four lines of forwards. Your top two lines are the best players (referred to as “top six” players) with your top line generally consisting of your best players, although not always. A key element of building a successful NHL team is to arrange your players into four lines who can all score. Since no one line can be on the ice for more than 15-20 minutes, you need scoring from your 3rd and 4th lines for the team to be successful. They don’t have to tear it up, but they have to be able to produce at least some offense - and at the very least keep the other team from scoring. An important element of a forward’s game is to be defensive - some are good at it, some aren’t. There is, in fact, a separate award for the best defensive forward, the Selke trophy, traditionally won by the Bruins’ Patrice Bergeron (seriously between him and the Kings’ Anze Kopitar they’ve won it 6 times in the last decades). Commentators often talk about forwards who play a “200 foot game” - this means the forward is effective not only in the offensive zone, when he’s trying to score, but in the defensive zone when he’s participating in defense. This skill is a big reason Sidney Crosby is as good as he is, he plays like that.

So the roles of skaters in hockey overlap a lot. Defenseman are often in the offensive zone and can score, forwards are often in the defensive zone backchecking and defending.

Too bad that on TV they pretty much all look alike unless you have the numbers memorized.

[laurasauras]

What do you think Homestuck believes in?

g, i love you, your interest in me infodumping is honestly such a delight. i can sometimes feel like i’m talking way too much, but you always make me feel special, it’s lovely!

this is long, so i’m going to use a cut. i’m so sorry, mobile users. blame tumblr. tl;dr? i think homestuck believes in love, hope, and fighting even when the stakes seem insurmountable. 

so there’s a lot of like “core themes” in homestuck, but “what homestuck believes in” is such a lovely and specific way to phrase it, so i’m gonna go with what i think the most important ones are. 

firstly: love. and more specifically, all love. 

look, there are romantic parts of homestuck. and they’re often show-stopping.

(also homestuck does visual callbacks very well, there’s a reason that these two scenes are composed the same way.)

but the core of the story is these four kids, all of them starting from a state of isolation. they don't have "real friends", they feel disconnected from their guardians, they feel disconnected from everyone in the world they walk around in, but they go online and they have each other. and they're constantly joking and making fun of each other, but they're also checking in almost every time they achieve something, as if grounding their friends in their real life.

the story keeps progressing and getting more and more complicated, but it can never quite overshadow the beauty of the pesterlog conversations between friends.

i think that's a large part of what the audience of homestuck connects with—that feeling of connection online and the support that the characters give each other. 

i also think that a lot of the time, the friendships and familial relationships in homestuck were given the same—if not more—importance as the romantic relationships, which is fucking uncommon to see in media! almost every character has to come to terms with how their upbringing shaped them, and you know what? that's the same of almost every person.

the conversation between dirk and dave before the final battle is one of the most important and touching moments of the whole story! two of the characters most concerned with their adherence to masculinity and appearing Too Cool For Emotions talk about their feelings and trauma before hugging it out. and it doesn't further the plot, it isn't part of the hero's romantic arc, but it's vital. 

the second big thing i think homestuck believes in is the importance of doing what is right. in being a hero.

homestuck positions john and his friends as the main characters selected by the universe to play sburb and literally ascends them to god status.

they're empowered by destiny! they're going to beat the game, conquer the worst villain ever and bring humanity and trollkind back from extinction AND their new world isn't going to be under the tyranny of a genocidal fish alien!

but that empowerment is also a disempowerment. 

look at how frequently dave falls into the reluctant hero trope. fate fucking kicks them around. when they are so destined to do all that stuff, can they really be said to have free will? and when they do seem to make a wrong choice in relation to their destiny, it's either something that furthers the plot OR it creates a doomed timeline and they're usually killed horribly. 

and it's a story that is constantly reminding us that it's a story! you can definitely lose yourself in homestuck, you can zone into it and accept the rules and just read it as if it's a reasonable reality, but i don't think it was ever written that way, or when it is, i think that that's a result of hussie accidentally getting into the story as well!

like okay, we start off with this:

that's fucking bonkers. he's 13 and he doesn't have a name? but of course it's bullshit, it’s just a cool homestuck thing. because we never get a conversation that goes:

TG: so the big 13

TG: you get a name yet

EB: yup! let me formally introduce myself as john!

TG: i give that name 4/5 hats

no, dave just immediately calls john by his name. and likewise, until we're introduced to the other characters and learn their names, they're referred to by their handle abbreviations, but the second they're introduced it's first name basis time. because it's a story and our perception is what matters most.

then we have the ridiculous intermission, that starts out as what dave sees when he goes to mspa.com and which resembles problem sleuth enough that i almost thought it was just that, but then seemed to be an entirely new adventure, and then became a pretty vital subplot!

and then we have the author literally climbing into the story and we watch him type it. Don't Forget This Is All Written By Me!

the website changes format, there are the meta jokes, there's the way that caliborn raises the same complaints to hussie about the story being too long and confusing that some members of the fandom were. there's the way that pantskat happened! or they drastic changes in artstyle, often because someone else was drawing a panel!

so like, we've got these characters who seem to have goals that they've developed of their own volition and who seem to have their own ways of going about achieving them, who at times even act contrarily to how hussie says he wants them to act (remember how he attempted to propose to/revive vriska and how both she and caliborn at different times type into the narrative prompt "instead of" hussie) but of course ultimately! he wrote every word!

they don't have free will, they don't even exist! but on a different level, which any writer can understand, once you as an author have established a character, you trap yourself into writing them consistently, which can mean that while something might be best for the plot, the character metaphorically crosses their arms in your head and goes "i would literally never do that."

some characters of homestuck become aware that they are and we know they are, but most of them don't think that, they think that they're just living the life they have.

how the fuck are his characters supposed to go about their days when their author finds it funny to block their path with a giant bust of snoop dogg? and when they work for pages and pages and pages to get around whatever asinine thing andrew fucking hussie (or worse! his fans!) has come up with, there's another obstacle and maybe there's not even a point anyway!

how do you not just dismiss it as something like "hes just being weird/an asshole/etc”?

yeah, look, he might just be having a laugh. but so to might god. 

sometimes you're walking along and something really stupid happens and it makes you for a second want to believe in god so that you can stare at the sky and say "really." :|

think about why detective stories are so popular. they give the illusion that if you're clever enough, if you collect the right data and link it together, you can trace back exactly what happened and solve impossible riddles and make sense of the world. you meet a man who has dust on his knees and you can deduce that he's been sneaking down to the basement of the shop he works at to tunnel into the bank next door. there's nothing magic about it, watson, it's just good detective work.

and we neeeeed that lie! but you know how it works in the real world? in the real world, police are baffled at a crime scene until a decade later someone discovers the fingerprints belonged to a fucking KOALA! that's more ridiculous than a snoop dogg bust in a hallway, or most of the other things hussie has written.

i think like that's a huge message behind the epilogues too, because john figures out he's in a story in candy and everything feels pointless.

but if that's the world he lives in, that's the world he fucking lives in. there's nothing pointless about living.

and i think that clicks for him towards the end when he talks to roxy and then rose. rose actually thanks him for choosing a path that allowed her to have the life she had, because she loves her wife and daughter. like it's insane, but she's happy, that's the life she lived and she doesn't want a more sensible one.

so what happens to us when we get that feeling like the world is pointless? 

(which is A Major Fucking Side Effect Of Depression BTW and i still stand by my interpretation that ALL of john's shit can be put down to his depression, which is what makes it interesting)

for a generation with fucking terrifying levels of mental illness, when we start feeling like the world is too crazy and the odds are too high, and there's fucking war happening and our friends aren't even guaranteed to be on our side?

we just fucking fight anyway.

because we live in the world we live in and we just have to be grateful that we are who we are because of that.

every character in homestuck chooses this, again and again, so i have to read that as hopeful. alpha dave and rose knowing who hic is and that their kids are so far away? still gonna fucking fight and fight LOUDLY even though they know it won't change things. (on top of the fucking white house, in case the political allegory was too subtle lmao.)

there are so many messages in homestuck and honestly i feel like i’ve barely scraped the surface of them. but what does homestuck believe in? i feel that in my heart. homestuck believes in love and in doing what is right, even when it’s hard to figure out what right is, even when you might not make a difference. 

homestuck is good, actually.

[pixs-pinings]

Me? Interested in Persona 5? No wayyy...

Warning for long post!

I had this written differently before I accidentally closed this tab, but I recovered the infodump well!

So... Yeah, Ribbon! My Persona 5 SI, my Phantom Thief SI. Still want to work on a possible real name- I wanted to go with a continuation of the plot threads I thought of with my P4 si, but... nah. Two separate SIs. Even if P5 si was also from the real world, I want them to be different for. Reasons.

She would awaken in the same place as Makoto- Kaneshiro's palace. I want to slip her in somewhere, and I feel like that case would feel the most... Natural? After futaba, a lot of shit picks up, and, as seen with Haru, can be a bit awkward. (And... Yes. I'm going to try to make that arc...... Not Suck? Maybe keep Morgana self loathing but...)

As for her awakening itself... She and Makoto have similar reasons! Both of them were previously known as prim and proper students, but then awaken to a sense of Justice, and are able to go all out. After looking a bit into myself, I was like "wow Makoto really is sorta like how I would awaken maybe" because like... I want to fight against injustice and hatred in society, but I'm scared because of the law- and, like Makoto, in p5, I could snap past that. Fuck the law, I want to stop people from being HURT by society's ineptitude. Haha...

Also, a reason for the involvement in the first place- Kaneshiro's reach is... far. Its very possible that people in Kosei were affected- and, in fact, judging by Yusuke being able to gather information, they were. So... Say that one of Ribbon's friends were being used... selling her body, perhaps... Hmmm...

Yes, both Makoto and my p5 SI- can I call her just Ribbon for now?- are third year students at their school. Yes, for Ribbon's backstory, I think I want her to be a Kosei student! Maybe there because of an art scholarship- writing??- or maybe a financial education scholarship, or maybe just that whoever her guardians are, biological or not, they sent her to that school with the money they had. But... Third year. I am 19 irl- and she would be 18 during the majority of the story, turning 19 in that february because surprise I'm a February baby.

Oh, yes, and her costume! She's a magical girl. Supposed to be based off of one- I gave her ribbons and feathers and a poofy dress and high boots with thick soles and gloves... Also, her mask is simple, but... I had the base form of a butterfly, and added on some mask details and also feathers. The ribbons on the lower part of her dress are more noticeable, though. Hence, her name of Ribbon. Unless y'all can think of any better...

As for WHY magical girls? Well, she thought magical girls were cool! Yes, this reflects on me! Ribbon watched magical girl shows ever since she was a young child, and always got this idea of fighting off evil by using bright magic! And punches. And kicks. When Ribbon grew older, while she never grew out of it, she tried to keep it to the back of her mind. She always still kept an eye on one of the magical girl shows- hmm... Beauty Cure? Beaucure? (Yes. Based on Precure.) And it was pulled back to the front with her awakening, because that's always the type of stuff she liked believing in- a magical force of good fighting against forces of evil... OUTSIDE OF THE NORMAL FIGHT AGAINST EVIL SOCIETY TRIES TO DO... Yeah. Mhm. Doesn't that seem familiar.

Oh, yes, I'm going to call the SI by the name of Ribbon- still unsure of if I should use Pix or if I should make up a japanese name that fits a bit closer to my real one, haha.

Her role of the team is... Well, sorta like a magical girl? She has light attacks, which does include the instant kill ones later (points @ magical girls and the series having magical attacks be the magical girl's finishing move), but she also can serve another role... Providing Buffs and giving Debuffs. I mean, magical girl power ups over the season is like a buff... And their attacks debuff the enemy... I would be tempted to also give her some healing things... Maybe later. After all, there are buff moves that are like "gain all three buffs at once!" And she'll get those! So maybe she can also be the status healer...? Dunno. Haven't really watched battle gameplay of p5- even if it's fancy, its... Boring to watch. Oops. Battle dynamics...

As for who her Persona is... I haven't thought of it. I haven't even looked into it either. I was thinking... Her first Persona would be probably an ancient magical girl? Pfft. Funny to say it like that. Maybe a fictional magical girl who was definitely outside the bounds of rules. Maybe villain, maybe hero. Her second persona would... be a goddess. Not the goddess of Magic, since. (stares at Ann.) But. A goddess of something important. Light? Hmm.

Her weapon is... A staff. Kinda a stick, but also it IS something to hurt with. Swing it around, smack someone in the side or head... Use it to adjust your position... Twirling it around... A magical girl doesn't use conventional weapons.

Oh, yeah! Here's where I closed out of the tab by accident. I went to go look at something and my phone pulled a trick on me... Anyway, moving on...

Futaba Sakura is 4'11. Ribbon is 5'. Short squad! Ribbon is irritated about getting teased for it, but is indeed 18- during the story, anyway- and just... Hasn't. Grown. Makoto is 5 inches taller. Interesting.

Ribbon's (outside of battle) role is... well, data gathering, and plan pulling. Makoto thinks of the plans, and can, indeed, push them out to the team... But for group planning sessions, Ribbon is the one listening to everyone's suggestions, and then addressing them... and giving them to the leader to mull over, as well. Make sure everyone is heard.

Oh, idea there... Ribbon also, like me, used to be a theater kid! It helped her grow more used to people around her, more used to speaking, and also technical details on things. Even if she isn't all outgoing, she still shows influences of it with analogies she makes sometimes.

(Spoilers for P5... Brief Warning. Skip to next parantheses for past that spoiler gone.)

During the Phantom Thieves' plans to decieve Akechi into believing he is totally fooling them, Ribbon could easily be very important with that acting experience. While coming up with the plan, Ribbon will definitely state theater terms, backstage, actors, scene changes... And she will definitely help the others get more into character. Staring at you, Ann... For a more believable lie... pull forth a truth similar to this situation and keep that tucked next to your heart... say your lines... and then, when that's over, let it go.

(Spoilers over! Yayyy)

So. Have you guessed who i want to f/o yet? If the answer is yes, congrats, you ain't blind to subtext!

Ribbon's costume is definitely on the lighter side! And... Yes, its definitely pink based. Solid pink ribbons... Light, soft pink dress... A mainly pink mask... I do think the feathers are another color, with those little x marker things that most of the feathers belonging to sharing a similar color, though maybe a different shade. I am... Not good with costume design, though. The accents on her mask would be similar colors to it...

Her hair is black. Darker than Makoto's, yes. She is light skinned, with barely a tan forming on her. Her mask actually covers up her obvious freckles on her face! Her arms, however, still have their freckles showing. (Not in the picture, because i forget about my arm freckles a lot...) (Also not in the picture is the frills on her dress but shhhh)

As for her Confidant? Uh... Hmm... To get to know her... Oh! She can show you her art and writing, sort of brush off her achievements with it because haha not as good as Yusuke Kitagawa's more official art... And her confidant would be helping her tap more into her confident side, whether it be for her own personal projects, or even for her just in society in general! While not as bad as Futaba, she still doesn't like approaching other people... And when that happens, and maybe culminates in her verbally cussing at someone who's been pressing her down for a while now and getting them to lay off her thanks to that newfound confidence. Not a Mementos Target, though she does bring that up but brushes it off as 'just a petty bully thing', but something she deals with herself!

.... Oh, Arcana... Uh. I think... you know how the Jester arcana was like... Another version of the Fool? Wait, the Thoth deck doesn't have an alt Priestess...? Fuck. Uh. Congrats, Akira! You get SUPER DUPER PRIESTESS BONUS. ... Please help

For her Confidant Ability.... Probably something to do with her Magical Girl influnces? The first idea I thought of was like... being able to be a temporary "safe" zone- while in the palace, she could... extend her magical girl light out and create a Barrier that prevents the shadows from noticing her. It will always stay a temporary ability, of course, since otherwise would pribably negate difficulty? But the period would become longer as her confidant goes up. The period of time would be extremly cut down during the times of actually stealing a treasure- after all, the palace ruler is EXPECTING the phantom thieves. No amount of magical girl protecting light would hide that expectation... Or. Something like that.

Also, her last skill. Instead of being like... Making the ability of protecting/anti detecting light last practically forever, its a SUPER STRONG BATTLE ABILITY. What is it? Well... uh... Still have to decide. My current idea has to do with a magical girl blast. Like, activate her light ability right as you get into a battle, and that actually does something- fires a big blast as the battle starts and inflicts damage on the enemy... Hmm. That, or she gets a special version of the all out attack that always kills? Has to be her leading the all out attack, though. What do y'all think...?

Oh, speaking of all out attacks! Hers (or her normal one if I go with the second idea in the above paragraph) would have her landing, spinning around, and doing a sharp "v" pose with her fingers, standing tall and with a grin. Think... Uh... Sailor Moon? I looked up some images and a few I found, with the peace sign arm outstretched, fit that mental image. The other hand would be on her hip, and, of course, she would be winking. Ah, girl vibes.

Yes. I am aware that could be similar to Ann. When i thought of it, i was like "hmmm" but then was like "I do that! and also there's a different between a lean and a wink with the peace sign to your chin rather than a stand/slight slouch and a wink and a peace sign held upward rather than close to the body"

Also, her little line in the background would be "light has prevailed!" In like... Bubbly letters? And it looks like light is shining from behind the letters.

Sure, Ribbon would have a romance route with Akira... but I don't consider that canon. It would make sense that he could POSSIBLY fit my type? But. Nah. Not SUPER attached. Pal at most. Speaking from outside here... In game, with the friendship forming? Maybe so. Anyway, not canon.

Oh my god i just realized Queen and Ribbon have like... Opposite sorta aesthetics. Dark Biker to Light Mage.

Anything else I can think of... Oh, a spoilerly thing.

(I don't believe I can think of anything else to say, so for those who want to be unspoiled on certain things in p5, end of post is the next paranthesis. For others...)

For her reaction to the announcement of Akira's "suicide", it would be something like... Well... A hand to her mouth, and a furrow to her brow... but she doesn't sound like she is going to cry. Instead, she goes, "Ah...", like... Realizing. Like a "hmmm" tone instead of one trying to hold back tears. And then like... Ryuji's scene is after that. And those of you who have seen the scene know what the scene is. So like, if the player was confused by Ribbon, Ryuji smacks them with a direct confirmation.

(And... That's it! Sorry for the long post, I am both unsure of if the read more code trick works on mobile anymore and also am unsure of, if it does work, which version of the trick is the correct one. Because i remember two different versions. Fuck.)