#this hurts so damn much…
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captainsavre · 1 year ago
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IG Story: dsavre (December 11, 2023)
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loveinhawkins · 1 year ago
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Steve’s bat bites start to bleed again during the drive out of The War Zone.
It’s a slow realisation, a creeping dampness on his skin.
He stays as still as he can, keeps his movements small and contained when turning the steering wheel; he thinks he mostly gets away with it, manages to park the RV and pitch his voice on just the right side of normal as he tells the kids to scram.
Awareness of his surroundings grows a little fuzzy around the edges, but he senses enough to know that he’s alone—the silence feels heavy, makes his ears ring.
He lifts himself up out of his seat, one hand clinging onto the headrest for balance. The ringing gets sharper, more high-pitched; he shakes his head to try and clear it.
One step forward, then another, and another.
There’s a slight rocking motion under his feet. It feels a little like he’s in a boat that’s docked, constant movement even in the gentlest of waters.
His palms brush against the bathroom door.
“Okay,” Steve whispers to himself.
He hangs onto the sink to keep himself upright—feels the room sway, as if the waters underneath have suddenly become stormy.
With one hand, he finds the knot in the bandage.
“Okay, okay…”
Pulls.
Steve doesn’t think he blacks out, not quite, but there’s a shift, a dizzying tilt… and then, somehow, he’s sitting on the closed toilet seat.
And…
The bat bites must cause hallucinations or something.
Otherwise, Steve cannot explain why Eddie—who notoriously threw up and passed out during a dissection in Biology—is currently pressing a clean bandage against his stomach, staring down at the blood like he can’t look away.
“You’re good, you’re good,” Eddie’s saying.
He’s clearly trying to sound calm, but it’s just coming out strained, like what he really means is this is all a fucking nightmare actually, but we’ve gotta find something to be optimistic about.
“Think it just needs some more pressure,” he goes on. “Yeah, there, see? It’s stopping. Oh, thank God.”
Steve feels more gauze getting wrapped around his middle—if he wasn’t injured, it’d almost be a nice sensation, Eddie’s touch somehow the perfect mix of both firm and gentle.
As he works, Eddie hums nervously.
“Talk to me Harrington,” he says in a shaky sing-song. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging, man, gimme some awkward small talk. Got any hopes? Dreams? Anything I should know?
Oh, so many things, Steve thinks, still light-headed.
But then he really does mull that over: his mind goes to The Upside Down, to belatedly telling Eddie about the hive mind, and oh shit.
“Hey, weird question,” Steve says, “but I’ve not been, like, asking you to make it cold in here or, um, anything like that?”
Eddie blinks. “Uh. No?”
“Okay.” Before he lets the relief of hearing Eddie’s answer sink in, Steve adds, “If I ever do, you need to lock me in here and get out. Tell Nancy.”
Eddie’s staring at him like he’s grown a second head. “Sure. Cool. Cool! Uh, for any particular reason or—?”
“Just in case—like, I don’t feel any different, but—one time, Will Byers, when he was in The Upside Down it, like, infected him? Like a virus. Except more… possession. And they had to kinda… burn it outta him.”
“Ha,” Eddie says. A beat. “Oh fuck, you’re serious.”
“I really don’t have the energy to be messing with you, dude.”
“Sorry. Sometimes you all just say things, y’know? And if I don’t get it, I’m like, well, they’ve been living through this for a while, maybe they’ve got a code going on.”
“I mean,” Steve says, “we kinda do.”
Eddie shakes his head. “So when Buckley said she dealt with a human-flesh-based monster, and the one before that was smoke-related, that wasn’t just, like, a really fucked up metaphor?” Eddie’s eyes are wide, pleading. “Please say it was a metaphor.”
“Sorry,” Steve says sincerely.
Eddie sighs through a lacklustre chuckle. “You’re fine, Steve. As for, uh, being possessed, I don’t think so. You’re no weirder than usual, but—”
“Wow, thanks. Means such a lot coming from you.”
“—you were a bit, like, out of it for a few seconds, but it just looked like you were gonna faint on me. Um. How’re you feeling now?”
“Good,” Steve says. When Eddie raises an eyebrow, he tacks on, “As good as I can be, I guess. Still.” He groans slightly as he stands, goes back over to the sink. “Better check.”
“Check? What?”
Steve runs the water as hot as it will possibly go, until the steam is evident. He sticks his hand right into the stream, hears Eddie hiss as the water scalds his skin.
“Okay, yup. Not possessed.”
“Fucking fantastic. Now I want it cold,” Eddie says.
He takes control of the faucet, nods for Steve to put his hand under the now cold water.
After a minute or two, Eddie sighs and collapses onto the toilet seat himself.
There’s a squeak as Steve turns the faucet off—his skin’s probably not had the good of the cold water for nearly long enough, but it’ll do.
Eddie’s tipped his head back so he’s facing the ceiling, eyes closed. Steve watches him with sympathy; he really must hate blood.
“Eddie. You can go.”
“Mm, nope,” Eddie says without opening his eyes. “I’m fine right here.”
“Suit yourself.”
Steve turns back to the sink, frowns at the tiny mirror above it; there’s black spots on the glass, but he can make out enough. Christ, the bags under his eyes are horrific.
“Relax, Casanova,” Eddie says, almost as if he’s heard Steve’s thoughts. “You look good.”
“Uh-huh. Think your brain’s fried from being on the run.”
Steve leans against the sink with one hip, finds Eddie looking at him with a small smile.
“Yeah, probably. Or maybe being on the run just suits you.” Eddie’s eyes flicker down. His smile falters. “You know, in an ideal world,” he says conversationally, “you’d be in a hospital getting stitches.”
Steve scoffs. “In an ideal world, I’d be in bed sleeping.”
“Amen to that,” Eddie says lightly. But he still looks sombre. “Seriously, though. If it gets… you know. I’d drive you.”
“To the hospital? What are you gonna do, Eddie, wander up to the front desk? Sounds like a real interesting way to get arrested.”
But Eddie doesn’t leap at the chance to make a joke.
“Steve,” he says softly. “I mean it. I wouldn’t care.”
“That would sorta ruin the whole priority of hiding you.”
“That’s—” Eddie huffs. “That’s not the priority.”
“Huh, that’s funny, cause it is in my book.” Steve nods at the door, to his whole world just outside. “One of many.”
Eddie’s eyes narrow. “And your name better be right at the top, Harrington.”
Steve hums.
“In bold. Underlined.”
“Whatever you say.”
Eddie groans quietly, runs a hand down his face. “You worry me, man.”
“I’m not trying to.”
“I know. Just…” Eddie hesitates. “Don’t go off alone. You know?”
Steve thinks it over. He steps forward and offers Eddie his hand.
Eddie takes it.
When Steve pulls him up, he stumbles a little, as if he feels like he’s on a boat, too.
“Oops, sorry.” He grabs onto Steve’s forearm for balance. “Think this should be the other way round, man.”
“Hmm, I don’t think so.”
Steve leads the way out of the bathroom—doesn’t mention the fact that, really, they’re both holding each other up.
There’s a bottle of water left in the back. Steve twists the cap off. Drinks.
“You too,” he tells Eddie.
“Huh?”
Steve considers him—thinks of the little flare of panic he felt when watching Eddie walk through the woods, tiptoeing around vines. How he had a sudden instinct to catch up to him, to make sure he wasn’t alone.
“I’m making a deal,” Steve says. “I won’t go off alone if you don’t.”
He lifts the bottle up as if making a toast—drinks again then passes it over to Eddie.
For the slightest of moments, their fingers brush; Eddie’s rings skim over Steve’s knuckles.
“So what’s this?” Eddie asks. “Legally binding magical water?”
Steve shrugs. “Cool metaphor,” he replies.
You say you just turn heel and run, Eddie. But sometimes I think if there was a fire, you’d run towards the flames if it meant no-one else got hurt.
Eddie smiles. Tilts the bottle towards Steve.
“Guess it’s a promise, then,” he says.
He drinks.
Steve prays that it holds.
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satans-knitwear · 9 months ago
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What if i told u..... Tiddies. 🤔
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
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sleep-nurse · 7 days ago
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loop
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shijiujun · 22 days ago
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ZIQI REMEMBERING MIAOMIAO ASKING FOR FLOWERS AND SETTING UP A FLOWER GARDEN TO CONFESS TO HER I CRI SWEET DEMON BOY DESERVES THE WORLD OF GOOD THINGS
— Love Game in Eastern Fantasy 永夜星河 (2024) | EP. 17
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kelin-is-writing · 2 months ago
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Peoples will drive you into a corner and then call you problematic and crazy for the consequence of their actions towards you 💔
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celesterayel · 11 months ago
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goodbyes & waiting | luke castellan
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pairing : luke castellan x aphrodite!reader
request: happy holidays! could you write a luke x aphrodite reader? (maybe with angst?) <3
IN WHICH — there are the moments you shared and the sadness that came after.
"trust that you betrayed, confusing that still lingers. you took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers" - o.r.
w.c. 1k
warning(s) : lots and lots of angst ゜✭・.
✩ ‧₊˚ author's note this act hurt me so much in the feelings. I've never written something so angst, hope you enjoy it tho, love :)
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your heart didn’t hurt, it burned.
you wished you could tear the wretched thing out and never feel anything again but it remained there, silently killing you from the inside out. in your palm lay a small pendant, not the prettiest thing by any means and resembling more like something you’d find at a second-hand store. the chain was thin and dull but at the center lay a small heart of twine and charms. your finger brushed over it, as if attempting to soothe your own heart, a manifestation of your pain literally.
god, you wanted to burn it to the ground. you wanted to scream so loudly and raw that you’d scream your vocal cords out of your throat. you wanted to scream at the gods–fuck them and fuck the fates–and most of all, at him.
had it meant nothing to him? this…whatever it was between you two? how could he have left you so brutally? without a second thought.
the pendant burned in your hand but you’d sooner kill yourself than part with it. it was the last thing you had of luke castellan. the boy who had loved you at your lowest, who once would have rather burned the world than let it hurt you. but he had hurt you and with the blow of godliness that ran in his blood.
you never did see it coming.
✩ ‧₊˚
you had first arrived at camp a year before percy jackson appeared. no sooner than you did, were you claimed by your mother, the goddess aphrodite. and unlike how the poets and half bloods describe it, children of aphrodite were not all inherently blessed with grand beauty. rather you were made to be beautiful in the way extraordinary things are: ingrained into the brain like a itch in a way so profound.
something about you entranced others, maybe the way you spoke or how you approached everyone like they were someone you had known since forever, you were just always a shining light for others to flock too. something so incredibly enchanting, gentle like the breeze of the camp waters. 
luke was the first person to approach you after being claimed, the same boyish smile you’d later fall in love with on his face. 
“the names luke castellan. yours?” he breathed out, something about the way he looked at you like you were every enchanting thing in the form of a person made your heart sing. 
you knew that your heart would belong to him every moment after. 
something in the way he looked at you like you were his forever after made you feel complete. like you weren’t so alone in this world made of monsters and man, godless beings of hunger and pain. and it seemed like he knew it too because there was a knowing in his eyes, a connection between you too that would hurt for every lifetime and the next. 
you and luke only grew closer after and where you went he followed. where he strayed, you wandered. secrets moments shared beneath candlelights with his hands on your waist and yours bunched in his hair. 
“your my forever, you know that right?” he’d whisper against your lips, trying to breathe you in like you’d disappear from his arms. 
you’d just kiss him harder like his words could burn themselves to your lips. like he could burn himself into your very being and never leave you. one day you’d tell him he’d already had.
moments by the lakes where he’d hold you against him and you’d rest on his shoulder like it was the only place you’d ever need. trinkets you’d find when you’d go exploring with the littlest campers that you gifted to him and he kept like they were the grandest of treasures. times when he’d cry into your shoulder and you’d just hold him all the more closer like you could take the pain. the pendant he had spent months and late nights learning to craft from hand to give you. you planned out your future together late, late into the night when you couldn’t sleep: maybe someday he’d whisk you away to visit paris or to see the great big apple–only later you’d go without him. 
holding you so tightly, he’d ask, “where would you want to go if we ever leave here?”
“anywhere you go.” the late nights near the lakes always made it seem like your cocoon, a safe haven from everything else. nights like these only made you fall in love with him more. 
“yes, but if you could pick anywhere, where would you want me to take you, “ he huffed out, chuckling. 
you grab his hands and press a kiss to his lips, tasting freedom and fire all in one breath. kissing luke was always electric, every want and lightning burn in one breath, one touch. 
you leaned back, before contemplatingly saying, “i’ve always wanted to go to see the city lights in the big apple.”
“i’ll take you one day.” it was a promise. a future for you both. 
“i’ll hold you to that.”
✩ ‧₊˚
but it never did happen.
✩ ‧₊˚
you remember the scream you felt bottled in your throat when you found out what had happened. the looks the others had given you when percy told you what luke had done. why he wasn't here with you guys. why he wasn’t here with you.
the betrayal hurt more than anything you had ever felt. parts of the pieces of the future you had made crumbling as quickly as you both had made it. the trinkets you had given him were gone just as he was.
as the months passed, here you stayed as the others left. hoping that by some miracle, your golden boy would return to you. that'd he'd come back ready to make good on his promise. he’d return to the lake where you had once built your future but he never did and the scream in your throat never left.
you promised me, luke.
footsteps approached you and there at the bottom of the hermes cabin stood percy jackson, “y/n, it’s time to go.” 
he looked at the pendant in your hands before giving you a sad smile. he knew your history and your pain–once upon a time, luke had been his first real friend.
you wiped the tears that had fallen down your cheeks and slipped the necklace back onto your neck. you couldn’t bear to part with it, not even after all this time, after all these moments. 
you looked behind you to the cabin one last time—breathing in the old memories and letting them go one last time—before you turned back around. 
“let’s go.” 
in the end, your golden boy had been far too much like his father and you were the one to be left waiting.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago
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Thank you. I'm sorry.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin guangyao#lan wangij#jin ling#LWJ shifting into fight mode was so damn cool. He is always ready to start throwing hands.#It's in a way that befits someone with a bit more bloodlust that his calm demeanor lets on - but nearly always in defense of someone.#What a great synergy with his personal philosophies! see that he is a Genuinely Noble Guy time and time again!#Is is also way more hilarious and unhinged than most people give him credit for? Also yes.#Nothing and no one ever said he did not or would not rip off JGY's hat mid-fight. I think LWJ needs to snatch more wigs LITERALLY.#Yes I'm delaying the part where I have to address the emotional turmoil of Jin Ling stabbing wwx. It gutted me terribly.#What is worse that realizing that someone you respected has done horrible things#than discovering someone who did horrible things being a kind and trustworthy person?#What is more horrifying that realizing other people are extremely complex and cannot be categorized into black and white?#When people hurt us or our loved ones we very much want to make them out to be irredeemable monsters. But they are not.#It is not actually such a terrible fate to just be a person. To be forgiven and forgive is possible. To change is possible.#This lesson is hard. It is something you have to actively challenge yourself to do. Black and white is the innate path to go down.#And its *why* I love Jin Ling so much. He is the character who fights the longest and hardest to challenge social and personal beliefs#He gets a pass for stabbing wwx for being so deliciously conflicted and tormented by it.#And with wrists THAT limp I can't imagine the wound was particularly deep
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sabh0 · 7 months ago
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Hello tumblr folks sab tried to learn how to draw cats (failed) to share her cat skk design headcanons witj yall
(under the cut muah)
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PM Catzai:
-burnt black, short and rough fur (seems like it's dirty and unhealthy...?)
-wrinkled whiskers
-very skinny
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ADA Catzai: (god i need to redraw that one he looks atrocious)
-lighter, brown fur (sun bleached, tho there are still some dark parts)
-fluffier, longer fur (is bro a bit healthier??), tho it constantly looks disheveled from jumping into riversband stuff (stupid wet cat)
-long legzz
-not as skinny as PM version
-no more wrinkled whiskers
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'15' Catchuu:
-ginger cat yeah
-very fluffy but disheveled
-short legs, tho has unnaturally big paws (have yall seen baby lynx stompers) (something similar)
-big ears just because (smh they make him look bigger)
-has that sheep wristband
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'22' Catchuu: (this one also will need a redesign ig bc currently bro looks like a fox trying to be a cat)
-didn't grow much oofie
-got a bit fluffier, tho now his fur is kept brushed and tidy
-fur started turning black in some parts (seems like it's getting darker each year for some reason)
-has a collar
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signanothername · 6 months ago
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Delicate and fragile treasure, just like your little soul
Bonus sketches cause your honor… they’re both autistic af
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holysaintscathedral · 3 months ago
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"I don't hate polyamorous people but—" OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP. NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR FUCKING OPINION OF POLYAMORY. MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS AND LET PEOPLE LIVE.
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casualavocados · 3 months ago
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An idiot like you...an idiot like you...
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 9
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#IM BACK WITH MORE MICROEXPRESSIONS AND MINOR DETAILS POSTING WHEEEEEEEEEEEE#anyway 'only i...since i was young til now...have been looking at you' if you even care. cuz. *gestures* this is ALL that. in these hugs#and okay thinking about it - im a little obsessed with the way we dont really See the reasons Why ai di loves chen yi#like usually in dramas theres a 'here's who he is through x's eyes here's why he is desirable' etc. and kiseki is not. like that.#ai di and chen yi bicker constantly. chen yi brushes ai di off. we see all their rough patches. but the little things ai di says in ep4 -#'he picks on & scolds me the most but he cares for me the most' are shown as part of it all AND actually one of the first things ai di says#in that scene is that they grew up together. like idk theres something about how it doesnt need to be some big thing.#some great quality of chen yi's that makes him loveable. ai di just loves him. it's that simple. he just does and always has and always wil#and loves him for everything chen yi is. even the parts that hurt him. 'an idiot like you' followed by 'im naive. im foolish.' IDK MAN.....#ITS LIKE AI DI IS ACCEPTING AND LOVING ALL OF CHEN YI'S INADEQUACIES. WHILE DAMNING HIS OWN. feeling so stupid for feeling so much#for someone he cant help but love - bc their lives have always. been. entwined. & you see that love echoed in chen yi. in how relaxed he is#how he kisses ai di's choker..follows ai di's lead & ai di's mouth. before chen yi's mind knows its ai di his body knows & loves him easily
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jokzs · 2 months ago
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avalonlights · 11 months ago
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Is there so much hate for the ones we love? Oh tell me we both matter, don't we? 🎵
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castlescrumblingdvwn · 2 months ago
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bitna (justitia), a demon, getting to experience the whole spectrum of emotions because of daon, a mere human, is an absolute delight to watch
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charmac · 3 months ago
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Do you think Mac has jacked off while reading the Bible? Or is he too ashamed? Or does the shame just turn him on more? Are the pages of his Bible all stuck together?
Oh, I don't think; we know:
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(Pages stuck together, thanks for the confirmation, Charlie)
I think the shame definitely turns him on more, considering Mac Day:
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And, the connected punishment, lest we forget The Gang Goes to Hell... (and the script here... whew)
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While he was repressed then, he wasn't as of Charlie's Home Alone, so I think it's clear to claim that a part of his "homosexual awakening" was connected to the fact that he was gradually getting more and more into the idea of being punished (gone sexual) for his sins, to a point where he was just genuinely jerking off to the "evils of homosexuality"
I do wanna continue here though and say Season 15 is pretty interesting because we see Mac battle between being Catholic and proudly gay. He seemingly has no issue bragging to a Priest in the middle of a church that he's into triple penetration, but it is his sex life that is the driving "reasoning" for why he thinks he should become a Catholic Priest:
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He's been "S-ing&F-ing" his way though life for too long and now he thinks God has taken away one of his identities (Irish) as a result. Mac's idea of being punished by/for God continues, but it's now through the form of revocation (as opposed to shame or flagellation). I think there's a clear "connect the dots" idea that depriving himself of sex (via becoming a Priest) is an "evolved" form of allowing God to punish him for being gay.
Obviously Mac learns he was lied to, as he actually is Irish, so his "journey" here is a bit of a wash, but the fact that his rationale jumped to God punishing him for having gay sex still stands. As he grows to accept himself, he's still looking for ways to feel shame (which, as we've seen, gets him off)...
But is the constant seeking for some form of punishment still there? We didn't see much of his Catholicism in Season 16 (I think the only mention of God from Mac was in The Gang Gets Cursed), but we did continue to see his sex life and—well, that was pretty heavy on Mac, openly gay dating, somehow managing to be neglected and deprived of actual gay sex, wasn't it?
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