#this has got to hit 150 notes this time for the next chapter

[cyanroads]

My Heart is Your Property Chapter 3

Grian had an idea. An amazing idea. He texted his friends' group chat.

To: The Boys

Grian: Boys, I have a proposition. This weekend is my birthday. So, I was thinking you guys could come over to my house for it. Is everyone free then?

Zee: Yeah, I'll be there.

Mini: I'll come.

BigB: Yep! I can make it.

Tom: I'll be there! Don't worry!

Martyn: Dunno why you're doing this this year. You usually don't celebrate your birthday. But Timmy will kill me if I don't come.

Tim: Yay! Martyn's coming! And I have to come because I'm your brother.

Grian: Nice! I'll see you all there!

Grian received a text from Martyn:

Martyn: Dude what are you doing? Why are you deciding to have a birthday party this year?

G: Me and the boys are trying to get you and Tim together.

Martyn: 🖕

Martyn: I don't even like him.

G: Really then why did you say this?

G:

Martyn: That was taken out of context.

G: Admit your feelings or I'm sending that screenshot to Tim.

Martyn: Fuck you. Fine, I love Timmy.

Grian choked on the air

G: WHAT?!??!

G:I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKED HIM THAT BAD

G: YOU CAN'T JUST DROP THAT ON ME

Martyn: You told me to admit my feelings. I did. Now you can't show Timmy that screenshot.

G: I promise.

Martyn: Thank you.

Grian went to his other group chat.

To: The Boys (- Tim and Martyn)

Grian: Um so, this just happened

Zee: What!?!? Martyn admitted it?!?!

Mini: How'd you get him to do that???

Grian: blackmailed him saying I'd send the "Timmy doesn't like me back" screenshot to Tim.

BigB: That's mean

Tom: You know that's the only way we could have gotten Martyn to admit he likes Tim.

BigB: I know, but you could have just let him tell Tim himself.

Grian: Yes, but now we have evidence that Martyn actually likes Jimmy and we're not reading the situation wrong. Because that would be awkward.

BigB: ok, I understand your reasoning.

Grian: Good

Martyn sat in his bed completely distraught. 'What the hell did I just do?' His phone started ringing. "Timmy :D", his phone screen displayed. Martyn picked up the phone.

"Hey what's up?"

"I'm excited! Grian's gonna have a birthday party! And you're coming! We're gonna have a great time! Are you excited?!"

"Yeah, just, we spend a lot of time together anyways without the rest of the guys there. I like it better when it's just me and you," Martyn said truthfully.

"I like it better when it's just us, too. But it's Grian's birthday, not ours. So we'll just have to make it work. Maybe we can find some time to be just us. Ok?" Jimmy asked hopefully.

"I'd like that."

"I'd like that too," Martyn could hear Jimmy smiling on the other side.

"Are we gonna hang up? It's late bud, and I want us to actually get a good night's sleep," Martyn chuckled.

"I'm not hanging up." Jimmy said.

"Well neither am I."

Martyn could hear a rustle in Jimmy's room. He heard Grian's voice.

"If you two lovebirds won't hang up! I will!" He said before the call ended. Martyn busted out laughing. 'Well someone's a bit grumpy.'

Martyn went to sleep after texting Jimmy a quick "goodnight, Timmy." He hoped Jimmy wasn't being blackmailed by Grian into admitting his feelings.

Jimmy was in his bedroom getting his phone back from Grian.

"Rude. You didn't have to hang up on him like that" Jimmy said defensively.

"Last time you two did that it lasted another hour. I'm trying to sleep, Tim. I don't need you two going 'No you hang up' until midnight."

"Fine. That's fair. But next time warn me when you're gonna snatch my phone from my hand. You scared the crap out of me!"

"Fine. I'm going to bed. Night, Tim." Grian said, walking to the door.

"Night, G." Jimmy looked at his phone.

MARTYN!: Goodnight, Timmy.

Timmy :D: Goodnight Martyn ❤️!

Timmy :D: I MEANT "😀"!

Timmy :D:I MEANT "😀"!

Timmy :D: NIGHT MARTYN 😀!

Jimmy quickly texted Zee.

Timmy: ZEE HELP

Zee🥽: Sigh, what'd you do this time?

Timmy:

Zee🥽: Uh oh, hopefully he thinks it was an honest mistake.

Timmy: Hopefully! Because I don't like Martyn! I promise!

Zee🥽: Keep telling yourself that, bud.

Timmy: Why does everyone think I like him?!

Zee🥽: I dunno probably the fact that you go over to his house multiple times a week and that you don't stop talking about him when he's not around and that that mistake wouldn't have made you as panicked as it is. Or the fact that he always makes you laugh the hardest or smile the brightest. Or that you blush every time he compliments you. Or the fact that Grian sent me a picture of you sleeping on Martyn's chest with your arms wrapped around him last time you were at his house.

Zee: I dunno, do you like him?

Timmy: That is valid reasoning.

Timmy: But

Zee🥽: But what?

Timmy: I dunno. But I don't like him like that. Even if I did. He wouldn't like me back.

Zee🥽: But he does.

Timmy: But he doesn't.

Zee🥽:. But. He. DOES.

Timmy: Where'd you get that? That's fake.

Zee🥽: I got it from your brother. He got Martyn to tell him the truth. Martyn loves you. He knows that. Why can't you see that you like him back?

Timmy: I'm still trying to process that Martyn likes me. Why'd he never tell me?

Zee🥽: Cause he thought you didn't like him back. Same reason you're hiding your feelings. You need to tell him.

Timmy: When?

Zee🥽: Friday. Grian's party. He needs to know.

Timmy: I'll try but I won't make any promises. I'm not very good at saying things like that.

Zee🥽: Of course it took you 20 minutes to tell me you were bi when you called me saying you need to talk.

Timmy: Yeah, I remember. Night, Z.

Zee🥽: Goodnight, Timmy.

Jimmy plugged his phone in. Took a deep breath, and sighed. "Two days. Just Two more days. You can do it, Jim. You already know he lo- likes you. How bad can this go?" He paused. "Not perfect, but everyone knows I'm not perfect," he muttered before pulling his blanket over himself. He tossed and turned for a while before finally falling asleep.

[deusvervewrites]

One Year of What it Means to Be a Hero: A Retrospective

Whoops, meant to finish this several days ago. Oh well.

Wow. It’s been a whole year since I uploaded the first two chapters of What it Means to Be a Hero. Remember that? my first update was a double update.

Wild.

What it Means to Be a Hero was almost literally an overnight success. I uploaded it pretty late in the day my time zone and woke up to discover that I had way more attention then I was expecting In a few days, I had over 100 hits and over 150 kudos. To me, that was just insane. I never thought I’d get much attention when I was planning WIMTBAH. And it just.. happened.

I started planning WIMTBAH by taking the initial concept, All Might says Yes, and seeing what would change. The logical outcomes of things happening. He goes to Nedzu for help teaching a Quirkless Hero, the Aldera case, all of it was just me trying to determine the next logical step. I did embellish Aldera for it to be a cult school, but canon Aldera is already garbage enough for me to believe it could be canon.

So we had out first arc. I called it the Meta Liberation Aldera arc in my notes.

And it led to the Himiko Adoption mini-arc. Most of the remaining time before the Entrance Exam was either focused on Himiko’s recovery or setting up for future events. I’ve written on this blog before that the League has some legitimate grievances with society. I wanted justice for some of these people. And I believe that Himiko would be a better person if she’d had the support. So she became a Midoriya.

But first, something wild happened. I got a TV Tropes page! I cannot overstate how much that means to me. To see people engaging with my work and analyzing it like that.

I was actually pretty worried about introducing Class Z. 19 relatively important OCs... I wasn’t sure how people would take them. But it turns out you guys love the chaotic gremlins.

And then the drastic changes to the timeline came to a head for the first time. I was so excited to pull the USJ bait-and-switch. And then the Ground Omega attack. Oh, it was just delightful. I am my own primary audience, but watching you guys freak out about it was so exhilarating.

The Sports Festival was... rough.

I learned a lot writing it, and I think it might still be the longest arc so far. And it really shouldn’t have been. But it was fun at least.

What happened next? Uhh... oh, right! Stain died and Tokyo got set on fire. That was pretty wild. The Tokyo Invasion arc was in many ways everything before it coming to a head. And also fire. Lots and lots of fire. And not all of it was because of drugged-up Endeavor.

So here we are now, moving on towards the final exams and summer camp.

It’s been a wild year.

[naktergalen]

Rivamika Fic Suggestions List 2

Hey there again! It’s been a while since my last rivamika post and I apologies for that. I caught the reading bug and have just been hitting book after book. I might be doing a book of the month suggestion starting in March. I’m still thinking about it but if that is something your interested in let me know. Or if you just want book suggestions just message or ask me. But for now, I’m back with my second Rivamika Fic Suggestions List.

First of all, I want to thank you for all the comments and messages I received from my first list! I think it has over 150 notes now which is crazy for me. I was going to be ecstatic if it got like 10 likes or something hahaha! I’ve enjoyed talking to some of you about fics and other snk stuff. Feel free to do the same after this post! I know I take awhile to respond but swear I get there eventually.

Same rules as last time. I’ve split this list up into four categories. I wanted to let people know the status of some of these fics in case they did not want to start an incomplete or in progress story. All of these fics can be found on AO3. I’m going to try to link them but we will see how tumblr acts today. If you have any fic suggestions for me, feel free to message me with them and I can add them on to the next list. If any author sees their story on here and wants me to take it off the list, please let me know I don’t wish to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Also, last thing, I highly recommend leaving comments and kudos to the authors. I know that they greatly appreciate it and it helps them with improving their writing through feedback. Okay shutting up now, ON WITH THE LIST!

DISCLAIMER: I know that not all of these stories are not for everyone, these are just my opinions and suggestions.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Completed:

- Thunder Clouds

Author: K_Lionheart

Rating: Mature

Sometimes I like to go to the very back of the Rivamika archive on AO3 and look for fics that have gotten buried over time. Low and behold what I have found lol! I enjoyed the emotional roller coaster when I was reading this fic, though sometimes I wanted to pull my hair out. Set after the titans are gone, humanity has to repopulate so arranged couples by the monarch are made to be wed. While this new order is being enforced, Mikasa and Levi are trying to work out their strained relationship. A slow burn with angst that will have you staying up till 3am dying to know what happens next. I know that there is a sequel to this fic called Nimbus and I’m slowly working my way through that one. Honestly, it will probably go on my next list.

- Red is the Only Colour

Author: mongoose_bite

Rating: Mature

A cute fic that was a quick but wild ride. A Little Red Riding Hood type of AU where Mikasa is a hunter of some sorts traveling through a town. I don’t want to say how Levi plays into all of this since it gets border line spoilers but just know that he is there. It is an opening ending fic for the author to come back if they plan on doing so but it can be interpreted in different ways. All in all, a fic worth of the quick read.

- Sing Me a Song

Author: LazyTrash

Rating: Mature

First I have to get this off my chest, I love the author’s name hahaha! I freakin wished I would have thought of that for mine! Anyway, this fic is wonderful but I will warn you that its a gut punch. If you like hurt and angst put together, then this is the story for you. I love these types of fics because I adore them so much but they hurt me in my soul. I don’t know what that says about me but whatever. I don’t want to delve into the story too much for spoilers but I would suggest rivamika fans to check this one out.

- Midnight Musings

Author: Raewyll

Rating: Teen

I just started to read Raewyll’s fics so I’m slowly working my way through all her works. This one caught my eye and I had to read it. This is a cute take on a chance meeting through texting the wrong number. I love the way Levi and Mikasa’s relationship blossoms into something more serious after causally texting back and forth. It’s one of those stories that I can only describe as being cute as shit! I’m definitely going to be checking out more of Raewyll’s fic in the future.

Ongoing:

- Beyond the Walls

Author: helena3190

Rating: Matue

If you love RIvamika angst, then look no further than this baby right here. This is currently my favorite ongoing fic. It was supposed to be a shorter story, but the author keeps adding more chapters so I’m not complaining hahaha! This fic is pretty much how I would *personally* picture canon Mikasa on how she would deal with realizing that she’s falling in love with someone. Its mostly told in the perspective of Mikasa as she is dealing with the after effects of war and trying to figure out what should she do with her life now that she is no longer a solider. Her feeling for Levi come with a lot of confusion as she’s discovering emotions that she has never felt before. She has a hard time pinpointing on what exactly describes her relationship with him. I’m anxiously waiting for the final chapter for this fic and dying to see how it will end for Mikasa and Levi.

- After the War

Author: loneackerman

Rating: Mature

I am loving this rivamika slow burn fic right here. Its similar to Beyond the Walls but I think the author adds their own taste of the 1920s into it. Set after the war is over (obviously), Mikasa and Levi have to figure out what they are going to do the rest of their lives. It has great tension, a perfectly paced gradual romance and just the right amount of humor to combat the emotional turmoil it puts you through. Again in my opinion, this is close to how I would realistically perceive Levi and Mikasa’s relationship evolving. I’m really enjoying this story and I’m looking forward to more updates to come!

- The Sound of Lightning

Author: LycheeGreenTea

Rating: Mature

A new fic that is just getting started but I can tell that what the author has in store is going to be interesting. Set several years after the end of the war, Levi and Mikasa are loving parents to a single child. Their peaceful life comes to an end when the family has a threat against them. There are not many long fics about Mikasa and Levi being parent so I was very happy when this one popped up on the AO3 feed. An exciting adventure awaits the Ackerman family now and I can’t wait to see where this fic goes in the future. There are three chapters as of now so head over there and check it out.

Incomplete:

- Home

Author: MissErikaCourt

Rating: Mature

One of the gems I found when diving back into the Rivamika archive. Ugh I HATE that this fic is incomplete!!! Its a good long fic but I’m greedy and I need more! I will give a warning first that this fic does contain heavy themes. Mikasa and Levi are in the underground to fight against a criminal ring. This story is a slow burn with action and emotional trauma. There is a wonderfully written OC that you easily get attached to its not even funny. Even though its not completed, I would highly recommend checking it out. I still have three more chapters to finish but I had to put it on this list. I know that I’m going to be pissed once I reach the last chapter written. If someone know MissErikaCourt, let her know that she needs to comeback to finish this masterpiece!

- Shiver

Author: bornsinner

Rating: Mature

Another one that I DISPISE its incomplete!!! Ugh such a great Office AU. It’s everything that I would want in an Office AU setting. Mikasa struggles between her committed long term relationship and her growing attraction (which starts to develop into some feelings) to her boss, Levi. Its hot, sexy and intriguing and it pisses me off that its not finished! The author writes each chapter as a one-shot but collectively together they tell the whole story. Highly recommend even though its so short. BORNSINNER where ever you are in the universe I hope you come back to finish this!!!

- Two Lines

Author: Crejhov

Rating: Mature

When this was getting updated it was my favorite on-going Rivamika fic. I would find myself checking to see if the author updated with a new chapter every week! The unplanned pregnancy trope is a classic one, but Crejhov does a fantastic job on keeping readers enthralled with soo many anticipated character meet up that are bound to cause hurdles for our expecting parents. This story is told from the perspectives of Mikasa and Levi in order for us to understand where their mindsets are as they plan for their expecting child and deal with their relationship. AHHHHH I want more of this!!! I was soo excited to see where this awkward journey was going to take Mikasa and Levi. CREJHOV COME BACK PLEASE I KNOW YOU HAVE WORK BUT PLEAAASEEEE! I NEEEEEEDDDD!!!

- Cabin Fever

Author: AmayaOkami

Rating: Mature

All I should have to say about this is that its written by AmayaOkami and that should explain it. Amaya is the one that gave us the beautiful incomplete rivamika fic Romance and Rivalry. I just adore her writing. Levi and Mikasa relationship evolves as they are standing guard over the arrested Kenny Ackerman. Secrets are discover about the Ackermans and it gets pretty steamy between our two favs. Great fluff and great sexual tension that leaves you wanting more chapters! Again AmayaOkami where ever you went I hope for some miracle that you come back and complete this one too!

One-Shot:

- Jade

Author: shulkie

Rating: Mature

This one-shot feels like I read a novel, it has such a great storyline. An arranged marriage between Mikasa and Levi leaves the relationship strained in the beginning. Their relationship evolves over time as Levi patiently brings down Mikasa’s wall. With smut added for all of your one-shot needs. Definitely worth the read in my opinion.

- What Remains

Author: Mirime

Rating: Mature

This one-shot gives us a glimpse into the secret relationship that Levi and Mikasa have been having while there are still scouts. This fic is sad but I would say it has a bittersweet ending. I think this was supposed to be part of a collection but I can’t find the rest of them. Still a great read by itself.

- Agape

Author: alienheartattack (Sanneke)

Rating: Mature

This fic is cute as shit! A College AU where Mikasa and Levi are childhood friends. Levi has to deal with Mikasa being at the same college as him while he is struggling with his changing feelings towards a grown up Mikasa. Worth the read as I said cute as shit, leaves you all warm and fuzzy lol!

- As Seen in Shadows

Author: MoraLeeWright

Rating: Explicit

FUCKING MORA! LEE! WRIGHT! UFFFFGGHHH Fuck I’m in love with her writing style. I really have nothing to say more that just go read it! Its hot and sexy and the sexual tension is off the fucking charts in this one. Its just MoraLeeWright smut thats all I can say. It’s great! JUST READ IT LMAO!

- Remedy

Author: NSummer

Rating: Mature

Another hot smut one-shot coming your way! Levi and Mikasa have had an ongoing affair and this just recounts their first time together. Its just some good ol’ Rivamika smut that I think that everyone in this community would enjoy.

- Nutty: Drunk in Love

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Mature

A fun smut to read about Mikasa getting “revenge” on her asshole boss, Levi. Things don’t go the way she plans as things get a little heated in the sexy way. A quick smut that I think is perfect for a little Rivamika crave.

- Spicy: Jalapeno

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Explicit

Another fun smut to read by Hallow17. Levi has been stressed out at work and Mikasa finds a way to help him get his mind off it (if you know what i mean). Again perfect for a Rivamika quick fix.

[twstarchives]

A Little Cheaper!

Card: PE Uniform - R Characters: Ruggie, Silver, Sam, Vargas (mentioned), Leona (mentioned), Lilia (mentioned)

Chapter 1

—MR. S’S MYSTERY SHOP—

Ruggie: Hah~ I’m beat... Wish that muscle teacher of ours knew there’s only so much fitness training we can do.

I gotta just finish running this errand for Leona-san, then get to my club meeting...

Silver: *yawns*...

Ruggie: Ah?! Who started leaning on me?! ...Oh, it’s you, Silver-kun.

Silver: Mm... Oh, Ruggie? Sorry... I got hit with drowsiness out of nowhere... I can’t resist it...

Ruggie: Why’d you come to the store in a state like that...?

! You’re holding a note. Are you running an errand too?

Silver: Yeah... Father... Lilia-senpai... asked me to.

Ruggie: That’s funny. I’m here for Leona-san myself. Guess we’ve both got difficult seniors to deal with.

Silver: Yeah... Uh, on my note... the stuff he wrote down is... around here I think...

Ruggie: Pfft, he keeps staggering as he walks. Despite looking serious all the time, maybe he goes to bed really late at night?

Alright, I gotta finish up my own errand. I think he said he wanted that new drink on sale...

Oh, there. This one?

Whoa! It’s 700 madols?! But you could just turn on the faucet and get water for free if you wanted a drink!

I’ll seriously never understand the way princes spend their money... Hah... Let’s just buy this and get back...

...Hm? What? I don’t have Leona-san’s wallet...

Ah... Did I forget to get it from him...?!

Oh, crap... I think I gave it back to him since he’s actually showing up for our club today...

Mm... My wallet has...

Not enough for this drink. Thought so.

Silver: ...Ruggie, you’ve been standing there for a while... What’s wrong?

Ruggie: Oh, Silver-kun. You finished your errand?

I just forgot to ask for Leona-san’s wallet.

It’s too much of a pain to go get it, and I don’t have enough to buy it myself...

Silver: ...Want me to lend you some money?

Ruggie: Ahh, it’s fine. This probably isn’t too important.

Ruggie: Hey! Mr. Sam~!

Sam: Hey! Running errands for the boss again, little imp?

Ruggie: Yep~ It’s just, I forgot to ask for Leona-san’s wallet today...

Is it possible to bring the price of this drink down a little?

Sam: OK, OK. Since you’re a loyal customer, I’ll try to help as best as I can. How much did you have in mind?

Ruggie: Ehehe, thank you! What do you say about 100 madols~?

Silver: 100?! Wasn’t the original price 700...?

Sam: There’s no way I’d go that low. I can discount it to 650.

Ruggie: 150?

Sam: Hah... 600, then.

Ruggie: I don’t have that much in my wallet. See? Look how thin and light it is?

Sam: ...500.

Ruggie: A little cheaper! Hey, I’ll bring Leona-san’s wallet next time and buy a whole bunch of stuff.

Sam: ...How much of what, exactly?

Ruggie: A dozen of this same drink.

Sam: OK, 350!

Ruggie: Thank you ♪

Alright, 350 madols it is. See you next time~

Silver: ...That was some impressive bargaining skills. It woke me right up.

Ruggie: You think? You just gotta watch your wording.

Silver: Do you always try to negotiate bargains at the school store?

Ruggie: No way, only once in a while. I don’t have the time to bargain every time I come to the store.

Like just now, I was in a hurry so I didn’t keep at it for too long.

Silver: ...What if you had all the time you needed?

Ruggie: Well, I’d try for 700 madols for a set of three. ‘Cause that way the price of the drink would be almost nothing.

If you’re ever in a tough spot, I’ll teach you how to bargain since we’re acquaintances at the same school. Shishishi ♪

Silver: Yes, I’ll count on you.

Ruggie: ...You know, at things like this you’re supposed to say “A day like that will never come!”

Man~ You really are out of it, Silver-kun...

[danny-chase]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman (Comics), Batgirl (Comics) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Cassandra Cain & Stephanie Brown Characters: Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Dick Grayson (mentioned), Tim Drake (mentioned), Damian Wayne (Mentioned), Alfred Pennyworth (mentioned) - Character Additional Tags: Cassandra Cain is Black Bat, 2009 Batfam vibes, Stephanie Brown is Batgirl, talks about the batgirl mantle, Cass comes home to Gotham, technically she's Cassandra Wayne in this, but idk if people use that tag, Girl Talks, possibly romantic, no beta we die like Cass, POV Cassandra Cain, Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown centric, mentions Gates of Gotham, you don't need to read it though, Cass comes home from Hong Kong, sorry Bruce is dead folks, takes place in Dick!Bats era, sliding around in socks, a wee bit of fluff, Cassandra Cain gets a hug, Stephanie Brown Gets a Hug, because i think they should hug, romance or not, late night conversation between besties Summary:

Cass has a surprise visitor after returning home from Hong Kong. She hasn't been in Gotham long, a lot's changed, but there are still people here she's happy to see.

Cass glided through the halls of the penthouse; the floors were perfect for sliding around in her socks. Though, ‘halls’ was being generous, she supposed. It was large, the rooms were spacious, but there were only two hallways. So much smaller than the manor. Less rooms, though more people, and plenty of space to fit them all.

 She could hear the chatter from the kitchen. The boys had decided to play a board game before she’d gotten back for the night. Dick wanted her to join in for the next round, but she found those games a little boring, and she wouldn’t fall for Tim’s puppy dog eyes tonight. But… she was tempted. It was a collaborative game, they’d explained. You don’t fight each other, you work together. That part, she liked.

She brushed past Tim’s guest room, which was slowly becoming more permanent. The door was cracked open, and she peeked inside. Neat and tidy, with trinkets lining his desk and shelves. Tim had changed a lot; his room was never this clean before. On a hunch she poked her head around the door. Behind it sat a mound of dirty clothes, just next to the bathroom door. Smiling to herself, she noted the mess of products on the sink. He’d changed, but not all the way.

 Damian’s door, she found closed all the way. Tim said he liked privacy, so she moved on. Dick’s door was wide open. The room was empty, aside from a messy bed. Hers was the same.

 At least she thought her room was empty.

 As she approached, she heard something moving inside, or someone. Whoever it was, was light on their feet, not very large, in the range of 120-150 pounds, and a bit anxious. The door was closed. She thought for a moment, and swiftly threw the door open, without making a sound.

 A blond girl in jeans and a green sweater stared out the window at the night sky.

 “Stephanie?” She recognized. The girl jumped and swiveled around.

 “Cass?” A joyous grin broke out across her face, though her shoulders stayed tense and anxious. They quickly strode toward each other and met in the middle of the room. Steph’s hands twitched, reaching up, as if asking for-

 Cass buried Steph in a hug at the realization. Steph laughed, giggling at her enthusiasm, and squeezed her back tightly. “I missed you.” They said at the same time. Steph laughed again in delight.

 They parted, and Steph sat on the edge of the bed, Cass following suit. She still looked a bit nervous but radiated happiness as well. They sat there, staring at each other for a moment. Cass smiled, also a bit anxiously, but eagerly, she hadn’t seen her oldest friend in forever.

 “Are you back for good?” Steph broke the silence. Cass nodded, she’d decided, after the gates of Gotham case, to stay. The family had fallen apart after Bruce had died, but she was ready to give it another shot, and so far, things were going well. Board games, movie nights. ‘Team bonding’, Dick called it. It had only been a week, but she’d gotten a turn to pick already. Rooftop tag. It was fun.

 “Things are good.” She replied. Damian was starting to trust her, and Dick and Tim were happy. And well, she was happy too. She loved having her own city, but it’d been lonely. Spending time with people was exhausting, but her family made it easier somehow.

 “That’s good.” Steph replied. Not a lie, but she still looked anxious. A thought flashed through her mind.

 “You’re not happy I’m home?” She asked quickly, her heart sinking at the notion. Steph’s eyes widened in surprise.  

 “What? No! Cass, I’m so happy you came back.” Not a lie. Cass sighed in relief, she didn’t want anyone to be upset she was back.

 “Then why are you nervous?” Steph’s hands were fidgeting slightly, hadn’t stopped since they’d met.

 “Huh, I’m not- Okay never mind.” Her shoulders dropped sheepishly. “I can’t lie to you, can I?”

 “Nope.” Cass popped the p, just like Steph used to whenever they talked before. No one could lie to her. Well. Almost no one.

 “Okay but… promise you won’t be mad.” She looked serious. Cass nodded slowly, watching as Steph pulled a box off the corner of the bed and carefully opened the lid. Her old Batgirl costume was inside.

 “Why would I get mad over that?” She gave the suit to Steph after all, she had her Black Bat suit now.

 “You let me borrow it and I ruined it!” Steph’s voice was guilty. Cass looked at the costume again. Bullet holes and tears marked it.

 “Are you okay?” Cass asked, those were a lot of holes.

 “Ugh, none of us deserve you.” Grateful. For what? Cass tilted her head to show the confusion. “I thought you would be mad because you can’t use it anymore. I thought you would want it back.” Cass shrugged.

 “I have a new suit now.” She assessed. She didn’t really care what she wore. Besides, if she wanted another Batgirl costume, Alfred could make one.

 “Don’t you… want to be Batgirl again?” Steph sounded concerned, but Cass wasn’t sure why.

 “I’m always Batgirl.” Cass stated. She thought for a moment. “Like Tim is still Robin.” It didn’t matter what they called each other; they were still them. “And you’re always a Spoil-sport.” She grinned smugly at the pun. Steph rolled her eyes, but she was amused.

 “Well, you can be Batgirl if you want. I kind of miss eggplant.” Her eyes twinkled mischievously, and the corners of her lips twitched up into a smile.

 “It’s a good color on you.” Cass agreed.

 “How about, we both be Batgirl, and we can switch costumes, and no one will know who’s coming.” Stephanie grinned in excitement. Cass grinned too. It sounded fun.

 “Deal.” She flopped back on her bed. Steph followed suit. “How was Gotham?”

 “It’s been wild. It’s different, you know.” Cass hummed in agreement. “I’m in college now, that’s going well. My mom’s working as a nurse. I mean, you’re right, things are good. It’s just… different.”

 “Batman and Robin.” Cass noted. Steph sighed.

 “Yeah, I mean it sucks Bruce died, but Dick’s doing great. And Damian’s coming around.” Steph shifted, turning to face her. “I’m sorry he died, I know he just adopted you, that must suck.” Cass took a deep breath, watching sympathy pour out of Steph’s baby blue eyes. It did suck. Her chest panged in regret, wishing they’d had more time together. But she didn’t want to focus on the past.

 “Yes.” She thought for a moment. “I still don’t understand.” She confessed. Butterflies swirled in her stomach, she didn’t want to make Steph upset, but she needed to know. “Why did you leave?” It had hurt, felt like her world was ending. It had hurt Tim too, and Bruce. Steph grimaced, she was clearly uncomfortable, rolling back, she faced the ceiling once more.

 “I was mad at first. I didn’t really choose to go.” She admitted. Cass understood, she’d been made to do things she hadn’t wanted to do before. It sucked. “But it was good too. It took time to heal.” She pointed at her head. “Up here too.”

 “You hit your head?” Cass had been shot in the head once. Wasn’t fun.

 “No like. I needed to think things out. Get in the right headspace.” She shook her head, not really understanding.

 “Why’d you go to Hong Kong?” Steph asked. She thought for a moment.

 “It hurt. To be around people.” She wasn’t sure how to describe it. She couldn’t stay in the manor. It was painful to be in the Cave. She never bled, but her chest had always ached, and something felt stuck in her throat. So, she left. And being alone hurt too, but in a different way. Steph looked at her sympathetically.

 “That’s why I stayed, thinking about coming back hurt. I was scared, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just… didn’t know what to do.” Groaning, she rolled over again. “It’s a mess.” Regretful. But a little hopeful. “Can we… still be friends?” The hope made her heart flutter.

 “Yep.” She agreed. Steph smiled, warmly, like the sun.

 “Thanks Cassie.” She didn’t really understand what she was being thanked for, but as the nickname rolled off Stephanie’s tongue, she felt more at home than she had in years. They lay still, enjoying each other’s company for a while longer.

 Eventually, Steph sat up, hopping off the bed. “Alright, let’s go do something fun kay? How bout we go kick the guys’ asses at Just Dance.”

 “Wait.” Cass walked over to her suitcase. “I got you something.” She pulled out a box. She’d collected things, from everywhere she visited. Picked up things that reminded her of family. She hadn’t really planned on giving them away, but now she had the real people, she didn’t need them anymore. She pulled out a purple ‘Lucky Cat’.

 “Oh my gosh! I love it!” Steph cradled it carefully in her hands. “Cass this is so sweet, I love it.” Cass beamed; she liked it too. And she made Steph happy with it, maybe it really was lucky. Steph smiled wider, clasping her hand and dragging her out through the hall, running so she could slide behind her on the perfectly slippery floors.

 And so, with whatever luck the cat could grant them, they were on their way to kicking butt at Just Dance. As the night wore on, laughs grew louder, and Cass was reminded again, how things had changed, but how change wasn’t always bad. The penthouse wasn’t as big as the Manor, and Gotham wasn’t as big as Hong Kong, but with her family, somehow her life seemed larger, and fuller again.

 Things could have turned out better, but they could have been worse too. And they would get better. Much better, as long as they all stuck together. There would be more difficult conversations to be had, but it was reassuring, knowing that after all they’d been through, she still had her best friend by her side.

[nordic-language-love]

Language Learning Log 2021 - Week 2

Norwegian

Read 2x articles

Watched 4x Distriktsnyheter (Sørlandet, Nordnytt, Nordland & Midnytt) broadcasts

Watched 4x Familiekokkene episodes

Wrote about my job (published) and my favourite dish (not yet published)

italki session

Chatted with Amanda

Speaking practice: talked about my job and TV

Mysteriet om Nils: read pages 121-131 (read aloud), noted down new vocabulary + completed exercises 1&2

Duolingo: Destiny

Japanese

Listened to Japanese radio (passive listening)

Listened to Nihongo Con Teppei

Kanji drills: drilled colours & family vocab

Watched 1x Pokémon episode

Duolingo: Restaurant, Katakana 3, Hiragana 2 and Family

Drops: Relationships

Norwegian

I had another italki session this week with a new tutor. It went pretty well! It was nice to have an actual structured lesson instead of just conversation practice for a change. Conversation practice is super useful and I want to continue doing that too to improve my confidence (plus I really enjoy my conversations with my other tutors), but I do need to focus on accuracy. As much as anything, I need someone to force me to work on the things I’m not sure about and tell me if they’re wrong, otherwise I just reword my entire sentence to hide the fact I don’t know what I’m doing, and then I don’t get any better.

Understanding has been a bit up and down this week. I watched Midtnytt and understood almost nothing without subtitles. But then I watched an episode of Familiekokkene and understood almost everything. That probably comes down to how familiar I am with the people speaking - I’d watched 6 other episodes of Familiekokkene and was super familiar with all the people on the show. I’d never heard the presenter on Midtnytt and obviously I’ve never heard any of the people they were interviewing. It could also be because I was more tired watching Midtnytt, and I guess news isn’t as interesting as people cooking tasty food lol.

I’ve realised I’ve been neglecting my journal lately. I was writing a few times a week almost every single week, but I don’t think I’ve written anything for a whole month, maybe longer. So this coming week I’d like to get back into that, especially as I found it useful for noting down new vocabulary and seeing my progress.

Last week’s goals

Mysteriet Om Nils p121-126 [10/6]��✅

Finish watching Familiekokkene [4/4] ✅

Watch 4x Distriktsnyheter broadcasts [4/4] ✅

1x written task [333/300 words] ✅

Practice speaking on at least 4 days [4/4] ✅

This week’s goals

Write 2x journal entries

Finish exercises from Mysteriet om Nils ch 34

Watch 5x Distriktsnyheter broadcasts

Listen to 1x Norsken, Svensken og Dansken podcast

Practice speaking on at least 4 days

Make at least one vocab list of words learnt from Familiekokkene

Japanese

I finally got around to watching another episode of Pokémon. My understanding is still minimal, but it’s nice to recognise words here and there. I live for the day I understand a full sentence! I’ve also been listening to Nihongo Con Teppei while doing character drills. Again, I don’t really understand much more than a word or two here and there, but it always makes me happy, especially when it’s a word I’ve just learned.

I’ve mostly been working on family kanji, although I’ve been drilling and practising colours too. I’m pleased to say that I’ve finally sort-of got 紫 down! It’s still kinda messy and I’m not convinced it looks like a real kanji when I write it, but it’s vaguely right, at least. And I can do it from memory. So I think that counts as a win!

I also tried using Drops again. Now that I’m a bit more confident with hiragana and katakana and I’ve actually learned some of the vocab taught already, I found it useful for revision.

Last week’s goals

JFZ Chapter 6 - read grammar + watch videos ✅

Watch 1x Pokémon episode [1/1] ✅

Drill family kanji ✅

Duolingo: Restaurant skill [7/7] ✅

This week’s goals

Duolingo: Activity 1

JFZ Chapter 6 activities

Write sample sentences with vocab learned from recent Duolingo lessons and JFZ ch 6

Watch 1x Pokémon episode

Productivity

I didn’t quite hit my stretching goal this week. That’s partially because my boyfriend had some extra days off this week and I chose to spend the time with him instead, which I’m not mad at myself for; spending time with people you love is important! I also have a bad habit of leaving it too late in the day, so I need to be a bit more firm with myself and get it out of the way while I have the energy for it. This coming week I’ll try to plan better.

Last week’s goals

Stretch on at least 3 days [2/3] ❌

Get to the studio to train at least once [1/1] ✅

Finish reading my book [197/197] ✅

Do some form of writing ✅

This week’s goals

Stretch on at least 3 days

Decide which book to read next and read 150 pages

Train pole/hoop on at least 2 days

Do some form of writing on at least 2 days

[babybirdgyeom]

you, me and bertha | pjy

genre: neighbors!au, farmer!au, lots of bickering and alcohol

word count: 30k

summary: when you moved to your uncle’s farm you expected a lot of things - but not to fall in love with your handsome, yet very annoying neighbor park jinyoung, whose favorite hobby was to tease you.

note: i posted parts of this before but never finished it - so i rewrote it all and here it is, the finished story! 

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Walking the long but yet very pretty way towards the small village that, from today on, was supposed to be your new home you felt a bit indifferent. While you were sure that it was time for you to start a new chapter of your life you still were anxious about taking such a big step. Moving to the farm that belongs to your uncle seemed like a good idea to you, the place held such special memories and as a child you always wanted to live here, working on the farm, supporting your uncle and his son, Bambam.

The big city you grew up had nothing to offer you anymore – so now, you wanted a cut in your life. There was nothing you loved more than sneaking out with your cousin at night, secretly meeting up with your friends, going for a swim in the small, but yet very charming lake next to your house. You wouldn't trade those memories for nothing, cherishing each and every one of them.

It's been such a long time since you visited the town, you actually felt a bit nostalgic when you arrived in the center of the town. The residents liked to call the marketplace at the beginning of the town „the heart“ of the city. Ever since your last visit many years ago nothing has changed. Basically, it was a round and rather big circle, surrounded by a small café that has been there all your life, right next to it the library that was owned by the Kim's, the parents of Bambam's closest friend, Kim Yugyeom. You couldn't help but smile as you remembered how you used to hide in the library, reading the same few books over and over again. Opposite of the library was the old restaurant – every single rather important event was celebrated in that restaurant, may it be birthdays, anniversaries, New Year's Eve or whatever other reason there was.

It was so popular not only because of the delicious food they had but also because it was literally the only restaurant around. Your uncle and your neighbors, the Park's, were providing them with the food they needed, so you usually always got food for free which lead to you and Bambam spending a lot of time at the restaurant, no matter how often your uncle insisted he could cook dinner for you.

And last, but certainly not least, there was the little pub that you never actually were allowed to spend time in since you used to be too young. The Im’s, the owners of the place, were very strict about that. None of you and your friends were ever allowed to be inside the pub as long as you were minors – even their son Jaebeom rarely ever saw it from the inside.

As you stood in the middle of the marketplace you couldn't help but smile as the last sunrays of this warm late summer day were falling right onto the pub, making it look a bit more beautiful than it actually was. The paint on the outside was splintered and the sign that simply said ‘The Im’s Pub’ was slowly falling apart - somehow all of this gave it a certain charm though. The mentality of the village always made you feel comfortable. There were about 150 people living here if you had to guess and the next supermarket was a twenty-five minute drive away but the people seemed so happy, not worrying about a lot of things.

You decided that a short stop in the pub before you’d go home to your uncle’s house wouldn’t hurt anyone. After all, you were way too curious to finally see the place everyone always used to go after work ended.

As you carefully entered the door you felt cheerful - it looked exactly like you always imagined it to be. Most of the furniture was made out of old wood, the bar was long and it was the first thing one would notice as they came in since it was on the opposite wall of the entrance.

Your smile was a mile wide when you spotted the one man you hoped to find standing behind the bar. Of course, Jaebeom was the bartender by now, it was always his plan to work here, to him it seemed to be the coolest thing ever to be a bartender, especially in his own bar. For a second you studied him, he looked dangerously handsome. Certainly a lot taller than the last time you had interacted with him and his face looked more mature, a sharp jawline and high, defined cheekbones, his hair styled back making him look almost evil with the combination of the tight and dark shirt he was wearing and the nose ring shining in the light. If it wasn’t for the two moles under his eyebrow you would have to look twice to be sure it was the same Im Jaebeom you spent so much time with as a child.

The expression on his face as he recognized you, the young lady from out of town, was priceless - his whole relaxed and cool facade vanished immediately as he looked at you with his eyes wide open, a questioning glance as he saw you. He was caught off guard, his mouth slightly open.

“Just the man I hoped to find. Im Jaebeom, you look good,” you flirted as you walked towards the bar, “I’d like to have one beer please.”

Within seconds he was walking away from his place behind the bar to come and embrace you in a tight hug before mustering you, shortly studying your face to make sure you were really the person he thought you were.

“(Y/N), live and in color? I thought you forgot about us,” he joked cheesily, his hand holding your chin.

A joyful laugh came out of your mouth as he walked back behind the bar, opening both, you and himself, a beer.

“You could’ve called, you know? No need to surprise me like this. My old heart can’t take those kinds of surprises anymore.”, he sounded lighthearted, just like you remembered him.

Immediately you felt ten times lighter, clicking with people you haven’t seen in a long time was one of the purest things in existence and you were more than relieved to see that you and Jaebeom were equally as excited to be reunited after such a long time. Not getting along with your old friends, especially Jaebeom, was one of the many fears you had about moving here.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think Bambam would actually keep quiet about me coming back.” you admitted.

“How long has it been since we saw each other?”, he asked as he was leaning against the bar, his whole attention on his former best friend, still having an obviously hard time to believe that you were actually sitting in front of him right now.

Before you could give him an answer someone else started to talk from behind you and you immediately recognized his orotund voice, “Six long years.”, your cousin said while he and another familiar face walked up to you.

Bambam pulled you into an even deeper hug than Jaebeom did and you felt home within seconds. Yugyeom was right beside him, of course, where else would he be than next to Bambam? The two of them still were inseparable apparently.

“How did you manage to not say anything?” Yugyeom said in shock before looking at you, “It’s good to see you again, (y/n). I can’t believe Bambam didn’t tell us.”

You were almost amazed at how much he grew, his chin could easily rest on your head by now, something that you would’ve never thought could happen. Yugyeom has always been the youngest and smallest kid back then and now he was the tallest in the room.

“I wasn’t sure if she’d actually come. Didn’t want to get your hopes up, Yugyeom,” he teased his friend, still nagging about the crush he had on you when you were five years old. Yugyeom rolled his eyes at his comment before bringing his attention back to you and Jaebeom, sitting down on the stool beside yours.

“So, how long are you going to stay?” Jaebeom asked suddenly.

For the first time, you actually had to say the truth out loud, making it feel much more real.

“I’m not planning to leave again,” you sounded more confident than you thought, the nice encounter with your old friends almost making you feel like you had nothing to worry about.

There was a moment of silence, both of them not knowing what to say, broken by Bambam when he let out a laugh.

“You know, I never saw you speechless until now,” he said amused.

“You mean-”, Yugyeom started to form a sentence but dropped it, not knowing how to continue.

“You’re moving here?”, Jaebeom asked, wrinkles on his forehead as his brows narrowed in confusion. As you slowly nodded his concentrated expression vanished and changed into a grin. “You’re actually moving here.”, he repeated breathlessly, more to himself than to you, slowly nodding to himself as if he had to progress the new information, “Welcome home then, (y/n). Let’s celebrate a bit.”, he said while pouring shots into a few glasses in front of him.

Time went by fast and you had fun learning about what happened in the last six years. It didn’t sound like a lot has changed though, they were still as close and as fun to be around as last time. Every time you looked at them it hit you how fast time flew by, it felt like a few months ago that all of you were playing hide and seek in the middle of the night while your parents had no idea you sneaked out. Those teenage boys were adults now, or at least on their way to becoming some.

A few hours and many shots later, you and Bambam walked home, the night sky was breathtakingly clear and full of stars - a sight you could never see in your hometown. You forgot how special it felt to walk under millions of stars.

Walking home with Bambam was your favorite part about today, you definitely missed him the most. He told you a bit about how Jackson and Mark are thinking about taking over the old restaurant because the owners are getting too old to manage everything and about Yugyeom and Youngjae being into the same girl, without knowing that Mark is dating her secretly.

As you arrived at home your uncle was sitting in the rocking chair on the porch in front of the old farmhouse.

“Uncle Minwoo,“ you almost shouted out as you saw him, jogging over to where he was sitting.

Minwoo always was your favorite uncle and you were his favorite niece, much to the dislike of your siblings.

“(Y/n),” he laughed as you hugged him, “you smell like you had a good time in the pub.”

“We actually have a small surprise for you,” Bambam told you to follow him.

He lead you to the old little cottage that has been on the farm for as long as you were able to think – back in the days it was mainly used for storing tools and electronics that shouldn’t be exposed to the rain. A bit confusion coming over you, your uncle handed you a key and you opened the small hut. Stepping inside, you couldn’t believe your eyes.

“Welcome home,“ your uncle said as you observed the comfortable room. A small kitchen, a couch and a TV in the living room, a bed on the other side of the room. They painted the walls white and decorated a bit, making you feel touched. You were sure you could stay here forever, it looked so cute and welcoming, like a real home. Not a thousand words could describe how much you appreciated them for putting in so much effort, just to make you feel comfortable.

As you thanked both, Bambam and your uncle, you sat down and all of you talked a bit until your uncle told you to go to sleep. Work wouldn’t wait for you and you were thankful for any second of sleep you could get.

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Waking up the next morning, you immediately regretted the alcohol you were having yesterday. Your phone said it was currently six in the morning and while being woken up by the sound of chicken and cows was way more relaxing than your alarm clock you still would have preferred to just sleep in.

Walking outside a few minutes later you inspected the farm – it was a giant property with two big houses on it. Half of the farm belonged to your uncle, he took care of the animals, the other half belonged to the Park's, in charge of the harvest.

Starting the day with feeding the chickens and collecting eggs was one of the easier tasks you had to face today since it almost didn’t require any kind of skill. While you were picking up another egg you suddenly heard someone scream at you from behind.

“Hey! Put the eggs back! Who in the world steals eggs these days?”, the deep voice belonged to a man but before you could turn around to find out who was screaming at you, he held your wrists behind your back, not giving you any space to move.

Your attempt to free yourself was almost embarrassing, you had no chance.

Turning your head around to scream at the stranger you muted as soon you met his eyes - the words you wanted to scream wouldn’t come out as you looked into the familiar face of his.

His thick eyebrows were furrowed, his dark eyes were piercing you, filled with a mixture of anger and annoyance - he was staring at you and waiting for an explanation.

“Par-,“ your voice died and you fastly cleared your throat, “Park Jinyoung?”

His annoyed expression changed into a confused one as you called him by his name. You couldn’t believe he was accusing you of stealing eggs.

“Let go of me!” you demanded but Jinyoung wasn’t planning to listen to you.

“Who are you?”, he asked harshly, “You’re not from here. How do you know my name?”

The grip on your wrists became tighter and actually started to hurt a bit.

“I’m (Y/N). Minwoo’s niece,” you replied just as harsh as he asked you, “Didn’t Mrs. Park teach you any manners?”

He let you go and you immediately grabbed your own wrist just so he couldn’t grab them again. A small pout formed on your lip as you looked at them, trying not to let him see that it actually hurt.

“What are you doing here?” he asked you.

Now you were facing him and you had to stop for a second to take in his beauty. As he was holding you, you didn’t really manage to study his face since you were too busy trying to free yourself but now you started realizing how handsome he became.

It's not like he was ugly before, you and him just never clicked and that’s why you never gave his face any kind of attention. Jinyoung wasn’t a bad guy, you knew that because Jaebeom repeatedly assured you that he was actually a very loving person once you get to know him. Personally, you just never really got the chance to, since he definitely wasn’t interested in anything that had to do with you. Not in a mean way though, he just didn’t seem to care about the girls in town, especially not the one who always came over the summer break and then left again.

Glowering at you, he was waiting for an answer. You, on the other hand, didn’t dare to look him into his eyes, instead, your eyes were studying the rest of his face. His features were sharper and manlier now, his brows thick but he still had the same wrinkles around his eyes. For a second you wanted to look at his lips but you stopped yourself, not wanting him to get wrong ideas.

“What are you doing here?” you asked in retund instead of giving an answer, “Didn’t you always say you wanted to leave this place?”

He rolled his eyes as you avoided his question.

“I asked first,“ he said, making it hard for you not to chuckle at the very immature conversation you were having.

“I am working here. Don’t you have some vegetables to take care of?” you asked coldly before turning your back to him.

“You better get used to my face, if you scare me like this one more time I might have a heart attack.”, you added as your attention back to feeding the chickens.

But instead of leaving Jinyoung was walking to stand right beside you again, “You’re working here? How come?” he asked. It never was a secret that Jinyoung wanted to leave this town, he used to talk about it a lot back then already and, even though he still was here, apparently, he still wanted to leave.

“I’m supporting my family,” you shrugged, not looking at him. You really didn’t want to be cold to him but you were tired and you knew how Jinyoung was, he’d either be totally rude or uninterested.

You could see him shake his head in confusion as you were continuing with your work, “Okay, you go milk those cows and churn that butter if this is what fulfills you, (y/n). I’ll go back to work,“ he pointed at the field of tomatoes on the other side of the farm your families shared and left you alone again.

Walking over to the cows, you couldn't help but wonder why he still was here. He was a very clever guy, he could easily go and leave this town to study and open a business or whatever it was he wanted to do. Glancing over to him one more time, you tried to milk the cows.

The field of tomatoes he was currently working on was not too far away but luckily far enough to give you a bit of privacy. He seemed to be very invested in picking the best tomatoes he could find, a concentrated glance on his face. And you really should try to concentrate too, since you haven’t milked a cow in years.

But you failed miserably. To your desperation, no one was around when you went looking for Bambam or your uncle to help you. Trotting back to the cows you sat down on a small stool in front of one them, giving it another try.

You groaned at the cow, laying your head back and closing your eyes in frustration.

“Just give me your stupid milk, please,” you mumbled while taking a deep breath, your eyes still closed.

“Are you sure this is the right job for you? If you can’t even milk Bertha maybe you should reconsider,“ Park Jinyoung’s voice startled you, making you jump a bit. The grin on his face clearly was teasing, full of satisfaction because you were struggling, “Do you need help?”

“Please,“ you didn’t care about the triumphing grin on his face, you were more than willing to take his offer. Any kind of help was good. And in the end, you didn’t dislike Park Jinyoung, you just weren’t close to him.

He nodded before telling you to wait for a second as he walked towards the little shed. Coming out again he held a strange looking machine in his hand while attaching it to the cow’s udder.

“We haven't milked them by hand for years,” he explained to you as he took your wrist once again, this time more careful though, and slightly pulled you towards the cow’s udder, right next to him. “Watch closely, I’ll show you once and if you can’t follow, you’re on your own,” his words sounded harsh but you didn’t take them that way. The fact that Jaebeom was his best friend was something you two had in common and if Jaebeom wanted you to give Jinyoung a chance you would do that. For Jaebeom, but also for you. After all, Jinyoung was your neighbor and, in addition, he was a handsome man, you wouldn’t mind being able to look at his face whenever you wanted at all.

You saw the way he acts around the guys and you saw that he indeed had a very soft heart, maybe he just had a hard time showing it.

“Hey! Are you even watching?” he asked annoyed while glancing at you, “I know how to do this, I am not the one that has to learn. I’m being nice here, don’t waste my time.”

You chuckled a bit at him losing his temper so easily. “Yes, Jinyoung, I’m watching," you said grinning, “Wasting your time was not a task on my list today.”

After he rolled his eyes at you you could swear you saw a small smile on his face, “You’re really annoying,“ he insisted while starting to milk the cow.

You tried to concentrate on how exactly he does it, what movements his hands made and so on but you kept on finding yourself thinking about how good his hands looked – what in the world was wrong with you? It's not like you've never seen an attractive man before so you had no clue why your hormones were playing a game with you.

After you started to try milking the cows yourself you felt more than relieved that you actually managed to do it right. Letting out a small ‘thank god’ under your breath you realized that Jinyoung still stood right beside you, watching your every move.

“You know, you can go back to the toma-,” you started to say before he interrupted you in the same moment.

“Just a tip for you,“ he said, not sounding cold for the first time, “Don’t dress up for farm work. You’ll ruin your clothes. You can still wear cute outfits after you’re finished here. But while working just wear something old,“ he said as he was just about to turn around before you had to take the chance to annoy him one last time for now.

“You think my outfit is cute?” the grin on your face was wide and you were way too amused.

As a response he gave you a death glare, knowing that you’ll probably never stop teasing him about it.

“Please don't,“ was all he could whisper frustrated under his breath.

“What a softie you are,“ you said, playfully poking his upper arm, “Didn’t know you had that in you.”

He let out yet another sigh, sounding almost whiny, “Are you always this awful?“

“Dear diary,“ you said in a nagging tone, “Today Park Jinyoung gave me a complim-”

Before you could end your sentence he was covering your mouth, shaking his head in disbelief slowly, “I’ll go back to work, (y/n). Don’t forget to churn the butter. The wooden pitcher we use for it is in the shed,“ and with that, he walked back to his side of the farm again.

Just a second before he arrived he glanced over to you again, screaming so that you could hear him, “I didn’t compliment you okay? Don't let it get to your head.“

Waving at him from the shed, you nodded your head. “Sure. Talk to you later! Your outfit looks cute too by the way”, you screamed back. Maybe working next to Jinyoung wasn’t so bad after all, if he was always such an easy target to provocate you'd at least have your fun.

When Bambam came into the shed with the tools to take over a few hours later, you were churning the butter, cursing under your breath. Sweat was dripping all over your forehead and it was seriously tiring, every single muscle of your arm hurt. You weren’t sure if you could manage to do that on a daily base. At least you wouldn’t have to worry about a gym membership anymore.

Your cousin stared at you confused, a sly grin in the corner of his mouth, “What exactly are you doing?“

“I’m churning the goddamn butter. Why is it so hard?” you complained while looking up to him. He was holding two beers in his hands, handing one over to you before starting to laugh at your action.

“Why would you use that old thing for that? We have a machine that churns it for us,“ he laughed, “I don’t know why we even still have that old thing.”

“Fucking Park Jinyoung,“ you cursed under your breath, leaving Bambam even more confused.

“You met him?” he asked while sitting down in the hay beside you.

“I did," you hissed, “He was the one who told me to do it this way.”

Bambam’s smile grew wide as he tried to contain his laughter, “A typical Park Jinyoung move.”. He almost sounded satisfied that you were getting fooled by him, “He likes you if he teases you.”

The only response you could give him to that was an eye-roll, “Well, that’s not a very nice way of showing it,“ you took a big sip of the beer, knowing that you probably deserved it for all the teasing earlier, before continuing, “You didn’t tell me he became handsome though.”

Bambam’s eyes widened immediately as you confessed and you could tell he was trying not to spit out his drink out of shock. He fastly swallowed, “You have a crush on Park Jinyoung?”

You shook your head scoffing, lightly kicking his leg, “A crush? How old are we? I just think he’s very attractive. But he was pretty rude though.”

Bambam pressed his lips together in a thin line, looking into the sky, „His father died two years ago. He became a bit cold since then. But he opens up sooner or later, just be patient with him.“

You gulped at the news, “What a sad loss, Mr. Park was such a ray of sunshine, always ready to help.”

Bambam nodded, “He was. Olli was only six years old when his father died. But dad took a lot of care of them since then.”

There was a short silence. You still remembered little Olli, Jinyoung’s younger brother. The last time you saw him he was barely two years old.

“I can’t believe he’s your type though. I thought I really wanted to set you up with Yugyeom,“ Bambam broke the silence before you could think about it any longer, almost offended. You laughed at him. He was close to Jinyoung, you knew that, but he always wanted you to date Yugyeom, only for the purpose of having him as an official family member.

“That won’t happen, Bam.”, you broke it to him, much to his disappointment.

A deep sigh came from him, “Well if you want Jinyoung so bad, come to the pub with us. I bet he’ll be there too tonight. We are meeting at eight. What do you say?”

“I don’t want him, I simply said that he is good looking.”, you hoped he wouldn’t tease you all the time about this from now on, already starting to slowly regret that you even brought it up in the first place. And as much as you would like to go out to the pub with the others you had a date with your bathtub that you wouldn’t want to miss for anything else tonight.

“I’ll pass though. I’ll come next time,“ you promised, standing up and walking towards your door.

“I can’t wait to tell Jaebeom that you and Jinyoung are going to become a couple. How exciting!” he yelled after you, making you laugh out in frustration. Sharing your opinion on Jinyoung’s look with your cousin probably wasn't the best idea.

It fastly got dark outside and you were lighting the candles in your bathroom, the bathtub slowly filling up with hot water. Exactly what your muscles needed after churning the butter all afternoon. Putting a bit of milk in the bathtub, you wondered if you had some honey in the farmhouse by any chance. As you wrapped the first towel you could find around your body, you wanted to hush over to your uncle’s house to check. But what stopped you from your plans was a shadow you saw walking past your window, making you freeze until someone rang your door.

Opening it, no one else than Jinyoung was standing in front of it, his work clothes traded into sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, a basket in his hand and his eyes fixed on your exposed legs. The towel you were wearing luckily covered all of your breast and bottom but that was about it. And, as if it couldn't get worse, it also had a lot of fairies on it - it used to be your favorite towel when you were about five years old. Still, you didn’t need Jinyoung to see you wearing it.

“Jinyoung?“ you asked him, unsure why he was visiting but he was still looking at the exposed parts of your body, not doing a good job at hiding the fact that he got distracted by your legs. You barely noticed though because your thoughts wandered to this morning. “How dare you not telling me that we have a machine for the butter? Are you crazy?” you raised your voice at him.

“My arms hurt so much,“ you added, too tired to fight him so you decided to whine.

Coming back to reality, he laughed at you, his eyes now looking at your face, “You seriously did it all by yourself?”, he was lucky the wrinkles around his eyes were so cute whenever he laughed, otherwise you would have killed him right there, “You must be pretty strong then.”

This time it was your turn to give him a death glare, “What do you want?” you asked him annoyed before you saw his eyes wandering down to your legs once again.

Not missing out on the opportunity to nag him, you chuckled, “Do you like my outfit?” as you struck a small pose, you had to be careful not to expose any parts he shouldn’t see.

Rolling his eyes he handed over the basket, “Seriously, you’re so annoying.”

You grinned, thinking it’s quite funny how easy it was to annoy him, “But you still think I’m cute, so it doesn’t matter.”

There definitely was a smile hidden on his lips that he tried to hide at all cost, but you could see it reaching his eyes, “This is for you. My mum put your favorites in it. Tomatoes, cherries, peaches, blueberries. She asked me to bring it to you,“ the man said, trying to sound as uninterested and unbothered as possible.

“That-“ you started to say, feeling very touched about the little gift but a bit confused as to why Jinyoung brought it to you, “That’s so nice of her. I’ll come over tomorrow and thank her.”

He immediately focused on you again, “No, it's fine. I’ll tell her. She’s kind of sick at the moment, she needs to rest, Olli is not even letting me go near her because he doesn’t want anyone else to get sick, so I doubt he would let you come over.”

You mustered him suspiciously but decided to leave him be, you surely teased him enough for today and didn’t want him to actually dislike you.

“Alright, Jinyoung. Thank you,“ you gave him a soft smile as you were about to close the door.

“Wait,” he stopped you before you closed the door and you waited for him to say something, “Are you planning to go to the pub later?“ - if you didn’t expect him to ask one thing than it was this one. Why did he care suddenly?

“I don’t think so. Churning that butter has really worn me out, you know?” you said, laughing lightly, “And my bathtub is already waiting for me.”

“Oh alright. That’s cool. See you soon, I guess,“ he said before awkwardly giving you a small smile and leaving again. What a strange yet interesting guy he was.

Something about him made you look forward to your future on the farm. But before you could let it get to your head, you were interrupted by a text from no one else than Jaebeom.

[Jaebeom, 22:29]

Glad to hear you're getting yourself a man! Jinyoung and (y/n), how sweet.

You let out a small laugh before finally meeting your only date for tonight: Your bathtub. Though you had to admit that the handsome face from next door was coming to your mind every now and then.

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After a week you slowly got used to the daily work on the farm, your body was finally starting to react differently, your arms weren’t getting as sore anymore and waking up early was bothering you less and less. It was a sunny Saturday which means you had to gather all of the stuff your uncle wanted to sell on the market the next morning. Picking out the best eggs, milk, wool and cheese was pretty boring, especially since Bambam left early because he was going on a date tonight with some random girl you never heard of. But since you wanted him to be happy, and also because his teasing about Jinyoung was slowly but surely making you go insane, you told him it would be okay if he let you work alone today. It took you about an hour until you were finally done with carrying all of the boxes into your uncle’s car as you saw Mrs. Park, Jinyoung’s mother, and decided to help her quickly, she looked like she was struggling.

His mother was a beautiful and lovely lady, always has been. Her black hair was long and even though there were a few grey strands in it by now she still looked as young as ever.

“Mrs. Park, let me help you,“ you shouted while jogging over to her, “Where’s Jinyoung? Letting his mother carry all the heavy boxes of fruits and vegetables alone is not a nice thing to do,”, you disapproved, one box already in your hands.

She let out a laugh and you were reminded of how warm her laughter was, it sounded like the giggle of a small child.

“It’s fine, I told him to rest for today. He always works so much,” she let out a worried sigh, “I’m very thankful, I know helping me on the farm was not what he wanted to do with his life but he does it for me.”

You never really thought about it that way before - this might explain why he’s still here despite always hating the small village he was born and grew up in, it was probably hard for him to leave his family behind after losing his father. While carrying a box full of blueberries you ate a handful, not able to hold back. The Park’s blueberries have always been your favorites, none of the ones back at home could compare to the juicy fruits you'd get here.

“You still love blueberries, I see,” She hummed joyfully as she was carrying the last box to the car.

“I am obsessed with them,” you answered, “Oh- I still wanted to thank you for the little basket full of fruits you send to me. I was in heaven, your peaches were even better than I remembered.”

Mrs. Park looked at you in confusion for a second before getting a grip of the situation, the confusion vanished while a different kind of expression came to her face, unable for you to read at first.

“So he can actually be charming,“ she mumbled to herself with an almost mischievous smirk and within seconds you knew exactly what she was talking about.

Scoffing, you wondered why Jinyoung wouldn't just admit that the little basket was a present from him, not from his mother – who would do something so sweet without wanting to let the other person know? But then, on the other hand, you knew it wasn't like Jinyoung to play the nice guy.

“Mum,” you heard his voice while he walking out of the door to their house.

When he saw you he froze for a second, “Oh, hey, (y/n),“ he said with a slight and not really convincing smile, it almost seemed forced.

You nodded towards him, ready to go back to work and leave them alone, as his little brother came running outside, chasing after Jinyoung.

“Jinyoung,” he let out a scream as he tried to jump on his back. He was surprisingly tall for an eight-year-old, almost managing to get to Jinyoung’s shoulders if he jumped high enough, “Can I come with you? Please?”

Before Jinyoung could answer, Olli’s attention was shifted somewhere else. Or better said, on someone else. To be precise, you caught his attention, the girl standing in front of his mother and brother, a stranger he’s never seen before.

“Who are you?” he asked curiously, studying you exactly, “Are you the niece of Minwoo?”

You kneeled down to be at an eye to eye level with him, shaking his hand, “Yes, that’s me. I’m (y/n). It's nice to meet you.”

He had a big grin on his face, “Hi, I’m Olli,“ after introducing himself to you he turned around to his big brother, “Did you make the basket for her?”

Jinyoung shushed him within a second, giving him a warning glance before trying to cover up his story, “Yes, I did it because mum asked me to.”

She let out a sarcastic laugh, making fun of her son, “Sure, Jinyoung. It was totally me asking you to do that.”

A heavy sigh fell from Jinyoung’s mouth before shaking his head in disbelief, “Where is your cousin? He promised he’d help me picking up our new couch.”

“Oh, I am afraid he forgot. He’s on a date right now,“, you informed him.

Jinyoung let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temple, not believing that Bambam completely forgot about him. Now even more frustrated, he started mumbling, “It’s always the same with this kid.”

“I’ll help you,“ you volunteered determined, not even bothering to ask him first, knowing he’d say no anyway, “I’m done with work for today and I don’t mind coming along.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll go alone,“ he insisted, clearly mad at Bambam, before walking over to his car. Not caring you decided to follow him, hoping that he’d be nice to Bambam if you helped him instead, even though you had little hope, considering the fact you were talking about Park Jinyoung but it was worth a try.

“Stop being so stubborn,“ you said to him as you opened the door and sat down inside the car, “Just accept my help.”

And much to your surprise, he did accept it, not bothering to start another discussion with you. Maybe he was just too tired of the constant bickering going on between the two of you.

As the two of you drove out of town the sky looked like it was painted in golden colors, the sun slowly setting but the air was still warm, brushing the arm you held out of the open window.

“Where are we even going?” you asked the obviously bothered boy beside you.

“It’s not far away, the dude I’m buying the couch from lives like twenty minutes away,“ he answered, his eyes glued to the street, „You really didn’t have to come. I could’ve easily done it alone.”

Slowly but surely, you were starting to get mad at Jinyoung. You couldn’t tell why his constant attitude was getting to you but it did. Of course, he didn't have to like you and honestly, maybe you did go a bit too far with the teasing but after all, you were neighbors, co-workers and also shared the same group of friends. Being nice to each other was the least you could do.

„Dude, you’re the worst. Can you keep quiet for once and accept help? Stop being so rude all the time, being nice every now and then won’t hurt you, you know? You can take your bad mood out on Bambam later.”, you snapped at him, not even intended to sound so mean but it just happened.

He peaked at you, his eyes grew wide in shock at your rant. Even though your voice was still low he clearly heard the frustration in it, “What do you mean? I am being nice all the time. I told you that you shouldn’t wear your good clothes to work in. That was a piece of nice advice I gave you for example.”

You scoffed at him not knowing if he was being serious, “You also attacked me because you thought I was stealing chicken and made me churn butter.”

He chuckled amused as you brought the churning up, “I still can’t believe you did that.”

“My arms still hurt. You’re an asshole,“ you rolled your eyes, not in the mood to put up with Jinyoung being, well, himself, when you were just being nice, “If that is your interpretation of being nice I’m beyond sorry for your future girlfriend.”

“Hey, now you’re the one being mean,“ he said, acting offended and honestly, a bit confused, not knowing why the two of you were fighting. You weren't even mad at him, you just felt fed up, craving at least peace between the two of you.

“Well, maybe you just need a taste of your own medicine,“ you shrugged, calming down a bit as the discussion started to become more playful than serious.

But before you or Jinyoung could fuel the fire and add anything into the it, you let out a small scream as he was turning right with full speed, making you feel like you were about to crash, holding onto the seatbelt for dear life.

“For fucks sake, where did you learn how to drive? Do you not know that you’re supposed to slow down before turning?” you asked him, gasping for air.

“If this is already scaring you, I’ll give you the nice advice to not drive with Jaebeom.”, he laughed out loud as he parked his car in front of a big house, “Ready to use the strength in your arms built up from churning butter?”

It took you about twenty minutes to carry all the parts of the couch from the third floor to the trailer on Jinyoung’s car. When you were done it was beginning to become dark outside and the weather was cooling down, making you shiver a bit. All done, you sat back inside Jinyoung’s car as he was securing the trailer so you could drive back home safely – or at least as safe as a ride with Jinyoung could be.

“If you’re cold there’s a blanket on the backseat, I'll get it for you,“ he screamed from outside before coming getting inside the car, a blanket in his hand, “See how nice I am? So caring, not wanting you to freeze to death.”

You shook your head amused, „What a gentleman you are.”

The drive home was more peaceful, no discussions this time. You looked outside, seeing a big and bright star in the sky, pointing to it excited.

“I can’t get over how beautiful the starry night sky is here. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it,“ you mumbled, almost sounding dreamy, eyes glued to the sky. It wasn’t even completely dark outside yet, but the first stars were already sparkling brightly.

“Isn’t it the same in your hometown?” Jinyoung asked a bit perplexed as he looked over to you, wondering how you could be so excited about some stars.

“Not at all. The big city lights drown them. You can barely see some, and if you can, they are not as bright as here.”

“I suppose Ilmon isn’t all bad.”, he shrugged, his glance wavering to the sky every few seconds.

You hummed in agreement, “Except for this terrible guy living next to me I quite enjoy my time here.”

He chuckled, enjoying the little game you two were playing, „Must be really hard to live right next to such an attractive young man. I bet you have a hard time.”

Laughing, you were impressed at his wittiness, “Don’t think too highly of yourself.”

Before you could let him answer your favorite song suddenly started playing in the radio, making you turn up the volume instantly, “You need to shut up now. This is my all-time favorite song.”

But of course, Jinyoung didn't shut up. He did the opposite, trying to sing along as loud as he could just to ruin the song for you – and he had way too much fun doing it.

“I didn’t know you could sing,“ you said, giving him an approving look.

A smirk formed on Jinyoung's lips, “I'm a man full of surprises.”

The rest of the drive the two of you were singing along to the radio loudly, having genuine fun together for the first time since you arrived. It was nice to see him loosen up a bit, even though it was only a small step.

Driving up to the farm, you already saw Bambam sitting on the porch. He immediately stood up, walking over to the car, already apologizing without you really arriving yet, “I’m so so sorry mate. I completely forgot. I owe you a beer next time we go out.”

Jinyoung chuckled as he turned the engine off, “Doesn’t seem like his date had a happy ending, considering he’s home already.”

“Good for me,“ you shrugged, “I’m way too tired to carry the whole couch inside anyway.”

You were the first to get out of the car, making Bambam narrow his eyebrows in confusion.

“What are you doing in Jinyoung’s car?” he asked suspiciously.

“I’m doing your fucking job, Bam,“ you shot him a mean glance.

As you were walking towards your home you were stopped by Jinyoung holding your arm, making you turn around.

“Thank you, I suppose,“ he said, pressing his lips together, obviously feeling awkward, “Just trying to be nice.”

You gave him a genuine smile, “No problem. Sleep well.”

“You too, (y/n).

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Waking up a few days later you were almost shocked to see today’s weather. Yesterday the sun was still shining while today it was pouring like never before. The sky was dark and grey and your whole farm seemed quite sad, making you wish you could just stay in bed all day, just being lazy, reading, eating and maybe fantasizing about a certain someone.

Checking your phone you saw a text from Bambam: it’s going to storm today, you have to make sure all the animals are in the barn and safe, please. i’m getting food for tonight. see you later, favorite cousin.

You immediately threw on a thick cardigan and brushed your teeth, hurrying to get things done before the weather got even worse. Looking in the mirror you scoffed for a second at your sad reflection - your hair was in a very messy bun and your under-eye circles were almost black. But there was no time to pity yourself right now, you could do that after work.

After you fed and, of course, petted the chickens and made sure that all the windows were closed tightly you ran over to the barn where the cows and goats were in. Your clothes were completely drenched even though the way between the barns was very short, the heavy rain was so strong that there was no way you could’ve stayed dry.

Entering the barn your eyebrows narrowed as you saw that the light was on and the food for the cows was already laid out.

“Uncle Minwoo?”, you screamed loudly, the rain was so loud that otherwise, no one would hear you.

“Oh thank god, there you are,“ the owner of the voice was coming out of the little shed you kept your tools in, throwing one of the milking machines over to you. You barely had time to catch it because Jinyoung was throwing it without caring if you’d catch it or not.

“What are you doing here?” you asked him skeptically as you sat down to the cow next to the one he was currently milking.

He glanced at you with an annoyed expression on his face - but only until he saw how wet you were from the rain. Right then, he bursted out into laughter, “Why are you not wearing a raincoat for fucks sake?” he asked you, enjoying the sight in front of him a little too much.

“I don’t even own one,“ you admitted a bit hesitant while shrugging, knowing he’d make even more fun of you.

And of course, he did.

“How can you not own a raincoat? Seriously, (y/n), you’re something else. Who on earth doesn’t own a raincoat?” he shook his head in disbelief, still laughing.

You simply pressed your lips together, coming back to your actual question, “But why are you here? Certainly not because you wanted to help me.”

“Hey, maybe I’m not as bad as you think and just wanted to be friendly for once?” he said, acting offended, “Since you’re always complaining.”

“Yeah, I doubt that,“ you answered.

Suddenly you heard a loud thunder outside, making you jump - you usually were not afraid of thunder but the sudden loud noise startled you for a second. What really scared you though was the reaction of two of your cows, immediately after they heard the thunder they let out the deepest and loudest sounds you’ve ever heard of them. They sounded terrified.

Jinyoung immediately jumped up from his stool and walked over to Bertha, the small brown cow, petting her face.

“Shhhh, it's okay,“ he tried calming her down before looking over to you, “I’m always here when it storms. Bertha and Marnie are deadly afraid of the thunder, so I accompany them. It calms them down.”

For a second you thought he was fooling you but before you could say something another loud thunder was heard followed by loud sounds of the cows once again. God, you weren't sure if you ever could get used to the sounds they made.

“Wait,“ you interrupted confused as you saw Jinyoung pet Bertha once again, giving her a small kiss on the side of her face, “You’re serious?”

He looked at you with a grin, “Of course I am. Go, pet Marnie a bit. She loves getting pets right under his chin, she’s such a lovely cow.”

You did as he said but not really trusting him yet.

“I didn’t know he had feelings, Marnie, did you know?” you asked the cow sarcastically.

Jinyoung chuckled, shaking his head, “I only have feelings Marnie and Bertha.”

Bertha was walking away from Jinyoung to the hay he just put down for them to lie down for a bit, something you barely ever saw them doing,

“When I first looked into Bertha’s big brown eyes I fell in love.”, he stated lovingly, petting some of the other cows while Bertha was still lying down, „Her eyes are just too pure.“

“That’s adorable.”, you had to admit, “Didn’t expect that from you.”

He scoffed at your remark, “Are you aware that just because I’m telling you you’re stupid because you don’t own a raincoat or work on a farm with a goddamn Gucci shirt doesn't mean I'm an asshole? That’s my way of helping.”, he said confidently, “You just seem to not know exactly what to do, so I’m trying to help.”

„You're still being mean while doing it,“ you insisted, not giving in.

“Whatever,“ he walked over to Bertha, who was resting on the ground, lying down next to her, “Just go inside and relax, I’ll take care of the cows.”

“No way,“ you sat down next to him, “I’ll not leave you alone with my cows. I don’t trust you.”

Of course, that was only an excuse to spend some time with the pretty boy from next door but he didn't need to know – his ego was big enough already. Both of you were now starting to relax slowly, leaning against Bertha, petting her every now and then.

“So, farmer girl, how do you like it here?” he asked you after a few seconds of silence, seeming to be actually interested in you for once.

“It’s nice,“ you shrugged as he was peaking over at you, “I like the fact that I finally am allowed to go into the pub the most.”

“I remember when we first were allowed to go in, it was like Harry Potter seeing Hogwarts for the first time,“ he remembered laughing, “and now we’re the ones that get drunk in there while the younger kids are jealous they can’t.”

“Some things never change, right?“ your eyes darted to Jinyoung, who had his eyes closed and seemed to be truly relaxed in your presence for the first time since you arrived. He was using his arm as a pillow, a smile on his lips - for once a genuine smile, not the usual teasing one he gave you. The rain was pouring so hard onto the roof of the barn it sounded like applause. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, exhaling a breathy scoff through your nose, not believing that Jinyoung actually had a soft side.

“What's so funny?“ he asked curiously, still with closed eyes.

“I just love the sound of heavy rain.”, you said, also getting into a comfortable position and closing your eyes.

Jinyoung let out a hum, agreeing with you before yawning, “Me too. It’s cozy.”

Your eyelids started to feel heavy, you didn’t have much sleep last night and your body was shivering a bit because of your wet clothes. Jinyoung was snoring lightly beside you within a few minutes and before you knew it you were asleep too. You wouldn’t have expected the barn to be such a comfortable place to sleep in.

The sound of someone calling your name, you couldn't quite identify who it belonged to yet, woke you up. As you were slowly starting to realize where you were, you were just as perplexed as Jinyoung, who was still beside you, seeming to just have woken up too, according to his dreamy gaze.

“Did we fall asleep?” he asked you, yawning and stretching his arms from his body.

As you looked up, Bambam was standing in front of both of you, confusion was written all over his face, “What the hell are you two doing in here? How do I keep finding you two together?”

Jinyoung shrugged, sitting up as you were doing the same, “What does it look like? We obviously fell asleep.”

“Okay but why were you here together in the first place?” he asked, a smirk on his lips, “Did you make out in front of the cows? They are too young to be exposed to such wild and unholy behavior.”

Chuckling at his remark, you rubbed your eyes a bit, “Don't be noisy, please. I’m having a headache.”

“You two are just too cute,“ he teased a bit before telling you the reason he was looking for you in the first place, “Dinner’s ready. We’re having some meat with different salads and corn. Feel free to join us, Jinyoung, your mum and Olli are there too.”

“I don’t know,“ he replied, a little unsure, “I still wanted to meet with Jaebeom and Jackson later.”

Bambam narrowed his eyebrows, “Why didn’t you ask me to join, you jerk?”

Jinyoung laughed at Bambam, standing up, surprisingly offering you a hand to help you get up from the ground, “I’ll eat dinner with you and then you can come with me, alright?“ he proposed to Bambam.

Your cousin agreed happily and the three of you walked over to the big house Minwoo and Bambam lived in.

“Did you find her?” your uncle screamed from the kitchen as he heard the door open.

“Yes, I’m here,“ you shouted back as you took off your shoes.

Walking over to them, Mrs. Park was surprised to see her son, “Oh, Jinyoung. How lovely that you’re here,“ she smiled as cute as always, “Where have you been?”

Both, Jinyoung and you felt a bit awkward telling them where Bambam found them, not wanting anyone to get a wrong idea. But, of course, your annoying cousin was faster.

“They were sleeping in the barn together,“ he smirked as he told your family, enjoying every minute of it, “You two seem to get along better by now.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, “We were literally just taking care of the cows.”

You nodded, “It’s not like we met to take a nap in the barn.”

Uncle Minwoo and Mrs. Park both giggled a bit at the bickering between their families,.“Stop teasing them. They are already flustered,“ she said lightheartedly.

Everyone sat down on the table as your uncle brought the food to the table. It smelled like you were sitting in a restaurant and you could feel your mouth watering as you saw the food.

“Thank you for letting us eat with you,“ Jinyoung politely said.

“Oh, Jinyoung!” Minwoo exclaimed joyfully, “You’re always welcome. We’re like family.”

He nodded thankful as all of you started eating. The food was truly delicious and the conversation was nice, all of you participating in it, talking about current events and life on the farm.

You weren't sure if it was because your families were there but Jinyoung was unusually nice to you, not even nagging you once. He passed you the salt when you asked him to and he even asked you about your job back at home.

It was a nice evening and you cherished it, knowing that it probably was a once in a lifetime experience to have a normal, peaceful conversation with Jinyoung in the same room as you.

About an hour later you started walking from the big house to the small hut and even if it only took a minute or two Jinyoung walked right beside you, not leaving your side. Maybe he truly wasn't as bad as you made him out to be – the two of you might have had some difficulties but thinking about it now he seemed to open up to you more and more. As the two of you stood in front of your door, you fiddled with your hands, not knowing how to react to being all alone with him.

“Don’t let Bambam drink too much tonight. I need him to be fit tomorrow. It’s my day off,“ you joked.

“I promise to stop him if he drinks too much,“ he smiled brightly, the wrinkles around his eyes showing slightly, “I’ll see you around?”

A scoff escaped your lips before you could hold it back, “Considering the fact that you can look inside my living room from your window I think so yes.”

And with that, he started walking towards his house but even after he was gone you still couldn't stop smiling.

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The few next weeks were pretty unspectacular, working on the farm was part of your everyday life by now and your work was a routine, knowing every small step of it. But still, today you woke up with a smile plastered on your face - it’s not like anyone besides Bambam and Minwoo, maybe Jaebeom, would know it’s your birthday today but you still loved your special day. It didn't matter that no one would know, you were quite happy that to everyone else this day would be just another day. You, on the other hand, had tons of self-care plans for tonight.

The first thing you did that morning was checking your phone, happy to see that your friends from home - or more like what used to be home to you - thought of you and send you very nice birthday greetings full of love, telling you that they missed you. In no time you got up and dressed to go over to the main house.

“So, what do you want to do today?” Bambam asked you as you had breakfast with him and your uncle. Despite you telling them that they shouldn't worry about you, they still made you some scrambled eggs and cut a lot of the vegetables from the Park’s farm, Bambam even managed to go to the heart of the city to buy some buns for all of you.

Stretching yourself, tiredness still washing over you, you thought about Bam’s question, “I actually don’t know, I thought I'd just do some sheet masks later and watch Netflix,” you said shrugging before eating a piece of cucumber, “Why? Any ideas?”

“Why don’t you invite your friends over, (y/n)?” your uncle suggested but you’d rather not. The problem with inviting people over is you can’t leave early since they are literally at your own place and you'd never kick them out, not wanting to be unfriendly.

“No way, I don’t even think most people know about my birthday. I’ll stay lowkey about it,“  you denied your uncle's request, just wanting to have a nice night on the couch after you took a long bath - an ideal night for you, “Why don't we have a movie night?”, you suggested to your two family members but they didn’t seem to show much support to your idea.

Uncle Minwoo immediately stopped you, “I’m not letting you stay at home with your old uncle and cousin on your birthday.”

“I’d love that though. We hadn’t had a movie night in a long time,“ you pouted, hoping to convince your uncle despite knowing you had no chance against him.

“Bambam, take her to the pub, alright?” he instructed his son who was currently not listening to the conversation and instead was texting someone.

“Sure,“ he agreed with his father before looking up from his phone, “I’ll take you to the pub later, (y/n). No discussion.”

So a few hours later you found yourself in your small bathroom, putting on a real full face make-up for the first time ever since you moved here, you almost forgot how pretty you could be.

Bam said to make sure that you looked your best since a lot of other people would be there, including the girl he ‘sometimes takes out’, as he liked to call it.

Even though you were still not fully in the mood, you started to warm up to the idea of going out as you got ready. In the end, you knew it wouldn't hurt to doll yourself up and go out every now and then - and maybe, just maybe, Jinyoung would be there too.

Bambam picked you up from your place at around eight in the evening, the sky already pitch-black.

“Hey birthday kid,“ he said lovingly, “I didn't know you could look this lovely. I bet Jinyoung's eyes will fall out when he sees you.”

Throwing him a glare that was about to end his life you were ready to hit your cousin if he wouldn’t stop mentioning your attraction towards your neighbor. You prayed he didn’t tell Jinyoung about it, his ego was big enough and you didn’t know if you could survive if he’d become even cockier. Jinyoung knew how handsome he was and that he could probably get just any girl if he wanted already so you didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

“I’ll kill you if you don’t shut your mouth,“ you threatened him even though you knew that nothing could stop Bambam's teasing ever.

Arriving at the Pub, you couldn’t help but grin like an idiot - all of your friends were waiting inside, a whole booth decorated just for you. Jaebeom was the first to welcome you, hugging you tightly, “Happy Birthday, princess,“ he almost whispered into your ear before the other people were waiting for their turn to congratulate you.

Jackson and Mark were there, including Mark’s girlfriend, that you hadn’t met before. Yugyeom, of course, was there and even gifted you some sunflowers, “Those are my favorite!” you told him excited, to which he replied that he knew.

Bam introduced you to his almost-girlfriend and she seemed to be a nice girl, almost as tall as him, with cute glasses, short blue hair and a nose ring that she pulled off like no one else could, not even Jaebeom. Speaking of him, you noticed a girl sitting next to him and you made a mental note to ask him about her later on – you bet she was more than just a friend. And last but not least Park Jinyoung was standing in front of you, trying to look cold and unbothered like always, but his eyes were sparkling a bit, giving away that he wasn't as cool as he wanted to be.

“You’re here!” you gasped, genuinely excited to see him, “I feel honored.”

He shook his head joyful, “Don’t let it get to your head. Happy birthday, farmer girl,“ for the first time ever Jinyoung hugged you, and you hated to admit that it felt quite comforting - the hug didn’t feel awkward or forced at all, he even had his hand on your head, right in your hair.

Jaebeom and Bambam, who were standing behind Jinyoung, were inspecting the hug you shared, drawing hearts with their fingers in the air for only you to see as you turned almost as red as the Park’s tomatoes.

“(Y/n), we got a present for you! Come on, sit down,” Jackson happily ordered from the table and Jinyoung let you go, way too early for your liking, but you weren’t complaining – you appreciated what you got this far. As you sat down beside Jaebeom, Jinyoung sat right next to you, pretty close since you were sitting on a small bank with five people.

The booth was decorated with a paper chain that spelled “Happy Birthday”, a few presents were waiting for you on the table, right next to many glasses and several bottles of alcohol.

“This one is from me, Jackson and Youngjae,“ Mark said excited, handing you a present. Opening it you couldn’t help but pout at their heartwarming idea: They gifted you a framed picture the four of you when you were little, you were maybe around three to four years old.

„God, we were so small,“ you chuckled, studying the picture.

Jackson smiled wholeheartedly, “There’s a little wheel on the side that you have to move,“ he explained and so you did - as you turned the little wheel more pictures of your friends and you appeared, all of them from different years.

“I love it,“ you smiled at them, “I'll find a special place to display it, I promise.”

“Open our’s next,“ Jaebeom said, an untrustworthy smirk on his face. “It’s from me and Bam.”

Just because you knew the two of you too well, you didn’t trust them at all.

“I bet it’ll get also a very, very special place at your home,“ Bam assured you and you just knew at that point they probably got you something very stupid.

And they did - you let out a deep breath, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Thanks, I really needed that,“ you said sarcastically as you hold the box of the vibrator they gifted you in your hand.

Both of the boys bursted out into laughter, making you sigh, „You think you're so funny, don't you? How old are you? Fourteen?“, you snipped both of their foreheads but still, a chuckle managed to slip out. Not really because you thought the present was funny but more because the boys were so amused by their own idea.

“We know the nights get lonely here,“ Jaebeom said, still laughing like a teenager, “Much fun with it. Just call Jinyoung if you need any help with it.”

“Yeah, no, thanks, I think I can handle that on my own,“ you quickly responded before anyone else could join their nagging, “I really need a shot now. Otherwise, I won't be able to deal with you.”

Jaebeom immediately poured a round of shots for everyone, “To our little (y/n).”

All of your friends clinked glasses and downed the shot. Within a few hours, one shot became quite a few, too many to count them. Bambam and his girl were making out heavily in the corner of the pub – much to your disgust. While you were happy for your cousin you still could imagine better things than seeing your family member's tongue in someone's mouth.

Jaebeom, you, Youngjae, Mark and Jinyoung were currently playing a card drinking game that you not only never heard of before but was also killing you at a fast pace.

“(Y/n), your turn,“ Jinyoung glanced at you, raising his eyebrow – his cheeks were red and the sloppy smile on his face gave away that he also was at least a bit intoxicated by now, “Red or black?”

That was the whole point of the game, basically the only rule. You had to say a color and if the card didn’t have the color you had to take a shot. Youngjae said it was the best game to get really drunk really fast, and boy, he was right.

“Red”, you answered or to be exact, mumbled since you had a hard time pronouncing your words clearly by now.

And, of course, luck wasn’t on your side - as Jinyoung turned around the card it showed black. “Jinyoung,“ you let out a whine as he laughed, “I literally cannot drink this shot or else I’ll throw up.”

Your head was turning and your stomach felt warm and tingly, a part of you suddenly felt playful and giggly, which was pretty unusual for you. Looking at Jinyoung you felt something deep down in your stomach – the way his rather long hair fell into his face and his tanned skin was glowing was a beautiful sight. God, you really wanted to blame it on the booze but deep down you were aware that you were just fooling yourself.

“You’re no fun,“ he almost whined before taking the shot, “I’ll take it for you since it’s your birthday.”

“Oh, what a gentleman you are,“ you nudged him.

“Just trying to get drunk,“ he shrugged laughing before downing the shot as if it was nothing.

Your glance waved over to Yugyeom, who was maybe the drunkest, his eyes slowly closing. “Yugyeom!” you poked his upper arm, not sure if you should laugh or be concerned, “Are you passing out?”

“Hmm?” he responded, trying to open his eyes but failing, “Oh no. I’m just taking a nap.”

You peeked to Jinyoung beside you, questioning him what to do, “Are you going to babysit him?”

He scoffed, “That isn’t my problem to deal with.”

About two hours later you decided that it was time to go home, having to admit that you did have fun despite wanting to stay home at first. You thanked everyone and grabbed your bag.

“What about you?” you asked Jinyoung who was sitting on his phone, texting someone with his eyebrows furrowed, “You’re staying?”

His eyes met yours as he looked up from his phone, “No, I’m walking you home. Give me a second.”

You decided to wait outside, in need of some fresh air to sober you up.

Slowly, you started to walk towards your home, knowing Jinyoung would be able to catch up in no time. And he did, of course.

“Oh!” Jinyoung looked at you with wide eyes as he arrived by your side, before opening his bag, looking for something, “It’s your birthday!”

“No shit, Sherlock,“ you responded unimpressed at his sudden realization, walking through the little city at night, still not used to how beautiful the stars were here, „You just got that now?“

“No, wait. I actually got you something,“ the boy mumbled and you thought you heard wrong for a second. At least until Jinyoung handed you a box, a rather big one.

“Are you serious?” you asked surprised, suddenly feeling shy. This morning you were convinced he didn’t even know it was your birthday but now he was standing in front of you, with a present that was neatly wrapped in yellow wrapping paper.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it, please,“ he rolled his eyes as you two walked through the dark night, only a few lanterns on your way home, “Just open it. It felt wrong not to get you anything. I mean, we’re neighbors now, and also co-workers.”

Your arm nudged him, playfully asking, “Maybe even friends?”

His laugh seemed to be even louder and happier when he’s drunk, “Says who? You wish!” before immediately adding, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Maybe even that. Now open it. Let’s sit down.“

Your neighbor gestured at the bank on the side of the way, a few steps away.

He took out his phone to turn on the flashlight so you could see, sitting dangerously close to you. “Why didn’t you give it to me earlier?” you asked him curiously.

“You know, I gotta keep my cool reputation in front of them,“ he joked.

“Ah, can’t let them know that you have a crush on me?”, you blurted out, trying to flirt, knowing you would never say those things if it wasn’t for all the shots you drank earlier.

“You’re a pain in the ass,“ he mocked you a bit, “Will you please just open it now? There are a few smaller things.”

As you ripped open the wrapping paper you let out a laugh, impressed by his first present, “A raincoat? I could’ve seen that one coming.”

“I still can’t believe you don’t own one. Look underneath, there’s also a shirt you can use for work so you won’t ruin your good clothes,“ he said, almost proud of his idea and it was adorable.

The shirt was grey and oversized - and also, there was a picture printed onto it. Jinyoung let out another laugh, covering his mouth with his hand to stop him from laughing harder, before you could see what was on it.

As he shined his flashlight on the picture you were not only extremely amused but also very amazed that he did that for you, even though he obviously was trying to be funny, you genuinely liked it - the picture was a selfie of Jinyoung, giving a thumbs up, right next to his favorite being on this earth, Bertha. Underneath the picture the sentence ‘(Y/n), you can do it. I hope.’ was written in big letters.

“You’re seriously the worst,“ you joined his laughter, wondering how in the hell he got this idea. The atmosphere was almost friendly – a new step for the two of you. Not that you didn’t like him before, you just thought that he didn’t like you back.

“I think you’ll look quite good in it, (y/n),“ he smiled proudly, definitely satisfied with himself.

“You’re such a flirt,“ you said sarcastically.

The last gift in the box really got to you though - it immediately brought back a lot of memories, cherished ones, of your childhood. An overwhelming rush of sentiment came over you as you couldn't believe your eyes.

“Jinyoung, I,”, you were looking for the right words to say but none came to your head, “is it what I think it is?”

“If you think it’s your old music box that played Somewhere Over The Rainbow over and over again, then it is, yes,“ he replied, playing it cool as if it wasn't a big thing.

You totally forgot about it until now, back in the day you always used to play it before going to bed, falling asleep immediately to the soothing sound of it – back then it didn't matter where you were: you wouldn't fall asleep without the petite woodbox playing your favorite song.

“Where did you even get this?“ you asked him, gulping.

“Oh, Minwoo gave it to me to calm the cows on thunder days,“ he said amused.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,“ you chuckled, still inspecting the music box. It seemed to be even prettier than you remembered it.

“Do you like it?” he asked, turning towards you, “I know how obsessed you were with it as a child so I thought you’d like to have it back. The cows didn’t like it anyway.”

Your eyes met his, not knowing what to say. He was so cool about it when to you, this might be one of the most meaningful presents you've gotten in a long time. The fact that he even remembered how in love you were with this music box and how thoughtful of him it was to give it back to you. Slowly you put the box down, still feeling a bit overwhelmed. It was probably stupid, for him it was just a simple present and you were overreacting, right? But still, it was so much more than you would’ve expected. Especially from him

“I love it, Jinyoung,“ you assured him, the wrinkles around his eyes deeper than you’ve ever seen them before. “Thank you so much.”

Before he could say something to ruin the moment you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face in his collar. It took him a few moments to realize what was happening, a hug was something he didn’t expect at all, but it did feel nice. His arms carefully found your waist and hugged you back.

You could see how red his cheeks were as your hug ended but for once you decided to not tease him, not wanting to ruin a genuinely nice moment. The two of you didn’t have those very often.

“Shall we go home?” Jinyoung asked softly as he stood up, waiting for you to join him.

The two of you were walking for a while, way slower than usual. It might be the alcohol in your veins or simply the secret desire to spend some more time together, alone and outside of the farm.

“Be honest,“ you started carelessly, it almost sounded like you were singing it, “You do think I’m cute.”. Looking up to Jinyoung you saw that he was smiling and didn’t seem to care about your teasing anymore.

“I do think you’re cute. That doesn’t make you less any annoying though,“ he replied, his tone almost playful. As you were walking your shoulders were lightly brushing every now and then, a rush of excitement going through your body every single time.

“Now you be honest. You were totally checking me out when you saw me on the day you moved here,“ he countered, the conversation light.

You let out a small scoff, “I maybe would have if I hadn’t been to busy trying to free myself from your grip since you thought I was stealing your chicken,“ you snapped at him and Jinyoung let out a laugh at that memory. Even though it wasn’t long ago it felt like years, considering how much your relationship developed since then.

“Your turn. You would’ve gone home sooner but you were waiting to walk me home,“ the vibe Jinyoung gave you told you it was okay to dig a bit deeper.

“Now you’re just being overconfident, (y/n),“ he laughed and you thought about how his laugh is so different than his mum’s. His mother's laugh was light and charming while his laugh was deep and full of joy, almost bold and loud.

“If you say I’m wrong you’re lying,“ you insisted while looking up to the beautiful night sky, not letting loose. Even though you were a bit cold you didn’t really care, you could walk and talk for a few more hours without complaining.

“I never said you’re wrong,“ he answered quietly, now more soft and serious, “But don’t let it get to your head, I know my mum would kill me if she heard that you had to walk home alone.”

“You’re so in love with me dude, how gross,“ you joked, not able to stop your usual nagging. By now it seemed like that was Jinyoung’s and your’s thing somehow. It was an open secret that there was something between the two of you, whatever that was. Maybe, you and Jinyoung were still denying it but your friends weren't completely wrong when they talked about your relationship to each other.

“I really don’t know if I wanna shove you off this bridge or kiss your annoying ass,“ he stated shamelessly, trying to sound annoyed but his mood was just as good as yours and the cheeky flirting was something he missed over the last years. It’s been too long since he met someone he liked so much that he didn’t have to care about what he said. Spending time with you made him feel careless. The night air and the sky that was full of stars just loosened up the mood even more.

Even though your heart was beating faster at his comment you tried to remain cool – he said it so casually as if the topic of kissing you was something completely normal to him, making you realize that maybe Jinyoung and you were indeed becoming something more than friends, “Oh, can I pick?”, you grinned at him.

“No,“ he answered easily while pushing you towards the edge of the bridge you were currently walking on, making you gasp a bit, while trying to balance yourself so you wouldn’t fall over the low wooden railing.

What exactly was he doing? Just in the right moment, he held you, his arm around your waist, being a bit too close to you which was making your heart beat insanely fast. As you looked at him your eyes were opened wide, the shock written all over your face.

Jinyoung still was holding you close, giving you the brightest smile ever, his expression full of joy, “Did you really think that I’d let you fall?”

“Yes!“ you almost shouted out of shock, a hundred percent sure that he’d actually do something like that, “If anyone in this town would then it would be you.”

He acted a bit offended, as he pulled your body a bit closer to his again, your intestines feeling all over the place. Half of your body was still bent over the bridge as Jinyoung’s hold was the only support that stopped you from falling right into the water. His face came near yours and at this moment you wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on yours.

“Well, if you think that lowly of me,“ he started, before pausing his sentence, you could swear that you could feel his breath tingling on your lips and see his eyes wandering down to look at your them - but before anything else could happen you started losing balance as Jinyoung let go of your body, making you fall right into the lake behind you.

Of course, he’d do something like that. You should've guessed that.

As you came up again you were drenched. The water was at least still warm enough to not make you shiver while climbing up to the bridge again. Jinyoung was laughing wholeheartedly, his one hand once again covering his mouth, while holding his other hand out for you so he could help you. You immediately took his offer, taking a tight grip on his hand before getting your revenge – within seconds Jinyoung forcefully joined you in the water, his eyes popping out when you completely caught him off guard.

“I should’ve seen that coming,“ he admitted, now also completely wet but still amused, “I deserved that.”

The two of you were chuckling, no one of you seemed to want to get out of the water for now. “Remember the one time we were having a contest here about who can stay underwater the longest when we were children?” you asked him thinking back to older days, one of the few memories you had with him.

He nodded while walking towards you, leaning his back against the bridge. His body was close to yours, his face facing yours, “I remember you and Bambam being afraid because you thought I fainted because I let my body swim on the surface with my head under the water still.”

Hitting his chest, you squinted your eyes, “You were the worst, seriously! Why would you do this to me? I was so afraid.”

His arm found your hip, resting lazily on it - you wondered if he’d also do that if he was completely sober, “To make good memories.”

“Well, that’s also about our only memory because you always avoided me when we were younger,“ you stated, a bit salty.

His laughter sounded different this time, if you didn’t know better you’d almost say there was some kind of admiration in it. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,“ he apologized, putting his hands up in the air, still laughing before looking at you once again - it’s like you completely forgot about being in the water now in the middle of the night.

“Wanna know a secret?” he asked you, whispering as if you had to be careful to not get caught.

“Always,“ you answered eager as your eyes widened in excitement.

“I avoided you because I had the biggest crush on you and Jaebeom always said girls suck and if anyone of us ever kissed a girl they’d be kicked out of the gang,“ he admitted, smiling back at the memory.

“Okay, but Jaebeom was literally my first kiss,“ you confessed to him, “I think he knew exactly why he told you that.”

Now it was Jinyoung who was in shock, not you. “You’re kidding me,“ he sounded offended, “I can’t believe he’d play me like this because of some chick.”

“Hello? I’m right here,“ you growled, shaking your head amused.

“Oh, I bet you’d rather be where Jaebeom is, huh?” he stared you down for a second before breaking character and starting to laugh, “But seriously, he never even told me. He knew I’d fight him about it.”

“It must be hard to always be as dramatic as you are,“ you scoffed, as you got out of the water again, starting to shiver a bit, “Let’s go home, I’m cold.”

He got out of the water too and you tried hard not to stare at his chest that was completely showing through his white shirt.

“You should have put on a jacket,“ he shrugged, acting as if it's your fault that you were completely drenched and cold.

“You little shit,“ you countered as the two of you were walking towards your home, “I’m only cold because you pushed me into the lake.”

“I had fun tonight,“ you admitted to him as you were standing in front of your door once again, “You’re not awful.”

“Thank you?”, he laughed unsure before he continued, “You’re also not awful, (y/n).”

“I mean, you were not the nicest in the beginning, I thought you hated me. But now, I think you tolerate me,“ you said, a winning smile on your face.

“Believe it or not, I think you’re pretty cool,” he mirrored your smile, nodding.

“I’ll let my diary know about that,” you assured him.

He just stood there for a second, looking at you. Both of you didn’t want to part, enjoying time with each other but you didn’t want things to get awkward.

“I’m sorry I pushed you into the water,“ he mentioned, laughing while apologizing.

You rolled your eyes at his half-assed apology, “Yeah sure. You better make up for that.”

He nodded, “I will. Good night, (y/n),“ suddenly you felt him hugging you, not expecting it once again. Three hugs in one day were something you didn’t expect at all when you woke up this morning.

“Sleep well,“ you told him as you closed the door behind you, removing your make up, changing into comfortable clothes and letting yourself fall into your bed, falling asleep with a smile on your lips. You were definitely making progress.

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A few days after your birthday and the situation with Jinyoung it was about time to talk to someone about your confusing feelings. Jaebeom was the first person that came to your mind, definitely not wanting to talk to Bambam about it. As the two of you were sitting outside on your porch, drinking a beer and enjoying the sunset slowly going down, you decided to tell him about what happened after you and Jinyoung left on your birthday.

“He gifted you your old music box?” he asked confused, almost shocked, “That’s so much better than the vibrator we gifted you, dammit.”

You let out a laugh, “Anything is better than that.”

“Well, apparently you won’t be needing it any time soon if you and Jinyoung continue to fall in love at that pace,“ your best friend gave you a small wink.

“Jaebeom,“ you let out a pout, “I really don’t know what I should do. He was about to kiss me by the lake but instead, he let me fall into the water.”

He was trying his hardest to contain his laughter as you told the story but he couldn’t help it, “You really think he’s the one you want? I bet not even Yugyeom would behave that awkward.”

Chuckling, you shrugged, “I guess I just like a challenge.”

Jaebeom nodded, “He definitely is one. Bear with him, it’s been some time. His last girlfriend and him broke up quite some time ago.”

When Jaebeom mentioned the word gilfriend you felt curiosity awakening inside of you, “How was she?”

Taking a sip of his beer, he glanced at you, a bit pitiful, “Are you sure you wanna do this to yourself?”

“I’m just curious,“ you assured him, „No hard feelings.“

Before Jaebeom could start telling you about her you were disturbed by your cousin, who just finished his work, a beer in his hand as he sat down on the free chair on your table, „What are you talking about?”

“My hopeless crush,“ you said, laughing.

“What else,“ he shrugged, unimpressed, “You could still date Yugyeom, you know.”

You shook your head before turning back to Jaebeom, “So, tell me about her, I can’t imagine him with a girl at all.”

“Are we talking about Elly?” Bambam asked confused, trying to catch up with your conversation.

“Yes.”, Jaebeom said, trying to start once again before getting interrupted by Bambam, also once again. “She wasn’t shit, (y/n). Don’t worry about her. I never liked her. They weren’t even really a couple.”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes, “She wasn’t all bad, Bam. She was actually quite nice at the beginning. She’s from the town next to ours, the granddaughter of the owner of the library - we were friends with her back then when she still visited every weekend. I guess she was into Jinyoung from the first second and he was, well, frustrated. So they became friends with benefits. Nothing too serious at first.”

“(Y/n), I really don’t get why you’d wanna know. You’ll just hurt yourself,“ your cousin seemed to worry, clearly disagreeing with your curiosity.

“They broke up so I won’t be hurt, I just can’t imagine him in a relationship at all. I need some information for research,“ you argued.

“He was a good boyfriend, I guess,“ Bambam thought about it, taking a big gulp of his beer, “Like he visited her often and made sure to bring her to every event or birthday. But one of them would always start a fight and it got so annoying over time. Every time he brought her I was afraid to say anything to him because if I only said one wrong word she’d start to discuss with him.”

Jaebeom now interrupted him, “Well, it wasn’t only her who started fights, to be fair. Jinyoung often enough started one too, whenever he was in a bad mood he’d always find a reason to fight.”

A scoff came out of your mouth, “I already thought he’d be one to pick fights, to be honest.”

“Speaking of the devil,“ Jaebeom nodded towards the house of the Park’s and as you turned around you saw Jinyoung jogging over to you. He seemed to be in a good mood, a smile on his lips, something rather unusual.

“Why are you having a nice evening and no one cared to call me?” he asked as he arrived in front of you, holding up a big plate with many different pieces of cakes on it, “I brought cake.”

Bambam immediately took the plate and set it down in front of him as Jinyoung sat down on the free seat on the bench beside you.

“We were just talking shit about you,“ Bambam started, getting up to get some forks from inside.

“Why? What did I do?” he asked, already sounding offended, ready to defend himself without knowing what even seemed to be the problem.

“I just told them about how you let me fall into the lake,“ you huffed, salty, not letting it go easily.

“Why would you do that?” he asked in a whiny tone, “Aren’t they teasing us enough already?”

“I don’t care about that. I still can’t believe you’ve done that. I could’ve caught a cold.”

He now crossed his arms in front of his chest, “You didn’t though, right? I brought you cake as an apology, just to find you hanging out with our friends, without me?”

Jaebeom let out a laugh at your constant bickering, “Young love must be so nice.”

“Be quiet,“ you gave Jaebeom a warning glance before you turned back to the real enemy here, “You think cake can just fix the trust I lost in you?”

He let out a laugh, “You’re being overdramatic.”

Actually, you couldn’t care less that he let you fall into the lake. It was just fun to pick fights with him, “You’re being an asshole.”

He scoffed before continuing your discussion in a mocking voice, “Wanted me to kiss you so bad that you can’t get over the fact that I didn’t?”

You let out a small gasp, not expecting his comeback. Jaebeom and Bambam were both trying no to laugh watching the two of you fight.

“If you think that, you’re truly delusional,“ you stated, even though everyone here knew he was right, “The only reason I didn’t kill you right then was because I was so relieved you didn’t kiss me.”

He snorted, not ready to give up yet, “Sure, just keep on telling it to yourself until you start to believe it.”

And this is how you spent the rest of the evening. Three of your closest friends, cake, one or two or maybe even more beers, a beautiful pink sunset and most important - in the place you loved to call your home.

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+

“(Y/n), give me a hand, please,“ your neighbor screamed from the other side of the farm, struggling to put up the pavilion that was supposed to cover the tables from the weather. It was a warm autumn day but you knew that it could basically start to pour any second. Quickly you jogged over to Jinyoung, leaving Bambam alone with the other preparations for the big harvest festival that was held once a year on the farm. It was a tradition you used to love as a child and you were more than happy to participate again this year.

As you walked over you couldn’t help but notice how mesmerizing he looked once again. There was sweat dripping down his face while he gave you a light and exhausted chuckle, holding up one side of the pavilion with his rather strong arms. The white shirt and grey sweatpants he was wearing might as well be the death of you. Oh god, you definitely hated being attracted to him. 

“What’s up, Park?” you asked, desperately trying to sound as unbothered as possible.

He, on the other hand, continued to smile, shaking his head, “Can you please hold up the other side over there?” he asked, pointing to it, “I’ll do the rest.”

You went over and held up the other side, having to stand on your tiptoes. “Are you excited for tonight?” you asked him, desperate to make conversation with him. Even though by now Jinyoung was being very nice to you, at least as nice as Jinyoung could be, you were still always trying to make him like you. Even though Bambam and Jaebeom assured you he likes you quite a lot by now you still wanted him to admit to it. His attention was your favorite thing at the moment.

He shrugged while concentrating on a screw he was currently trying to get in, “Not really. It’s not gonna be different than any other year.”

“I’m here now so it is gonna be different than before,” you said, making him look up from his work for a second, his eyes finding yours.

“So, you’re going to make the harvest festival interesting again?” you saw the smirk on his face before continuing, “Don’t get up my hopes.”

“Share a bottle of liquor with me and I bet we’ll have a lot of fun,” you stated boldly, immediately embarrassed at your way too obvious flirting. At this point, you were sure that Jinyoung was very aware of your obvious crush on him - he was many things. Rude, annoying, sometimes even a bit mean but delusional wasn’t one of them.

“Are you flirting with me, (y/n) (y/l/n)?” he asked almost a bit teasingly.

“I am,” you said, trying to sound confident but you were pretty sure your now deep red cheeks were giving you away.

He seemed to be amused and he shook his head in what seemed to be joy. 

“Not bad,” was all he said, shrugging before his full attention was back on building the pavilion. 

You looked around the big farm as Jinyoung was working. It looked beautiful, there were a lot of tables with benches, all of them had some flowers and candles on top of them, you could only imagine how cute it would look as soon as the sky was dark and all the candles were lit. Bambam was currently preparing some baskets filled with eggs, milk, some wool, all different kinds of fruits and vegetables and even some feathers you picked up from the pond where the ducks stayed as a lucky charm - your uncle and Jinyoung’s mother would sell them later on, the people always loved those little baskets. Jinyoung’s mother was inside, preparing food for the night. She was overdoing herself, cooking four different kinds of soups, baking too many loaves of bread for the visitors to eat, she even has been baking all kind of cakes since yesterday night. 

“Your mum is an angel,” you mumbled more to yourself than to him but Jinyoung still heard you, laughing a bit.

“She just really loves the harvest festival. But yes, I agree, she really is,” he answered without looking at you, “There’s gonna be plenty of leftovers tomorrow, I’ll bring you some if you want.”

You nodded even though he didn’t see, “I’d love that.”

“Hey, (y/n)!” Gus, the owner of the restaurant, came up to you. He drove up here in his truck, the whole back of it filled with different meals that he contributed for tonight, “Where should I put the fish and meat?”

Jinyoung told you that you could leave and help Gus for now so you showed him where the food was being served. There was a long in the middle of the farm, where Gus’ and Mrs. Parks’ food was going to be sold later on. It was opposite to the little dancefloor your uncle built earlier, he even got a pretty good sound system for the night. You already anticipated seeing all of the older people dance later, it was always very cute to you. All the tables to sit on were placed in between the dancefloor and the food. 

As you were helping Gus’ to carry the food you saw Jaebeom and his parents coming up to you. It was a funny sight, seeing how much taller Jaebeom was than both of his parents.

“Hey cutie,” your best friend greeted you as he put down the three beer crates he was casually caring like they didn’t weigh anything, “How are things going?”

“I’m really excited for tonight,” you cheered with a wide smile on your lips, “My last harvest festival was years ago, I still had to go to bed at eight o’clock at that time.”

He let out a laugh, “Oh, that’s when the fun is just starting.”

You only managed to finish all the work an hour before the first people came to the festival. Within no time the whole farm was filled with people as the sun was slowly going down.

You didn’t expect so many people to actually show up. Not only the whole village was attending tonight’s fest but a lot of them also brought their family from out of town, a lot of faces you’ve never seen before. It luckily didn’t rain yet and you were hoping it would stay that way for the rest of the night. The sky was dark now and all the candles were lit, making the atmosphere cozy. People were eating, drinking and enjoying themselves, some even danced to the 80′s music that was playing already. You were sitting on the side of a table, just looking around and appreciating everything as a few of your friends came up to you.

“Don’t you wanna eat something?” Yugyeom asked you, nodding towards the table with the food, “We were just about to grab something, join us.”

“Let’s also grab a drink or two,” your cousin, who clearly already had more than just ‘a drink or two’, his bright pink cheeks exposing him, shouted as he came up behind Yugyeom, Jaebeom and Jaebeom’s girlfriend.

Your mouth watered as you saw, and especially smelled, the food that was offered. Now you were very thankful that you didn’t have the time to eat all day. All the food looked amazing and you didn’t even know where to start. Jackson and Mark both went for the meat but you wanted to start with something more light for now, looking at all the soups Mrs. Park made.

“Try mum’s Italian wedding soup, it’s the best,” you flinched lightly as Jinyoung suddenly came up behind you out of nowhere, his arm casually resting on your shoulder. 

You tried to play it cool in front of your friends but inside you were all tense, just because of Jinyoung being so close to you. “I’ll have that then,” you agreed, telling his mother who was handing out food tonight. Both you and Jinyoung offered her to help out earlier but she insisted that you should just enjoy the evening.

“Of course, darling,” she poured some of the soup into a big cup, giving you and her son a wide smile, “You two look just adorable together.”

You felt yourself blushing but you were pretty sure that no one would notice in the dark. 

“Right? We’ve been telling them the whole time,” Jackson joined, excitement in his eyes, agreeing with his friends’ mother. You heard a deep, frustrated groan from Jinyoung.

“Guys,” he squinted his eyes at both of them with a warning glance but he still was resting his arm on you, not even thinking about removing it, “Can you mind your own business? Just for once?”

Jaebeom chuckled at the two of you, knowing exactly that you were trying your hardest to keep your cool, “You know they won’t leave you alone until something happens.”

He was right. But you weren’t sure if and when things would happen. And what those things even would be. When it came to Jinyoung you felt more clueless than ever before. Not even your math class in senior year seemed that confusing.

“Yeah, because no one in this town knows how to respect the boundaries of other people,” Jinyoung bitterly said through gritted teeth, slightly annoyed but everyone just let out a laugh, not taking him seriously, thinking it’s funny that he gets so worked up over some simple teasing.

“I’m sorry (y/n),” Mrs. Park turned towards you, apologizing, but you could still see a little amused smile on her lips, “I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I don’t mind at all,” you assured her, “Don’t apologize.”

“I’ll go and get us something to drink,” Jaebeom offered after he got some food, his lips already pressed against his girlfriend’s neck again before turning to you, “Save us a seat.”

You waited for the rest to get something to eat and wondered what was suddenly going on with Jinyoung, he wasn’t leaving your side at all which was pretty unusual for him. Last week he was still too afraid to give you a birthday present in front of the boys and now he was suddenly even touching you in front of everyone?

“I’m sorry,” he whispered for only you to hear as all of you were looking for a table to sit on. On the way, he let go of you but still was walking right next to you. Not that you minded, you enjoyed the sudden attention he was giving you, you just had to get used to it. 

“What for?” you asked him, shrugging lightly, “I don’t care if the guys tease us. They think we’re into each other, they won’t stop anyway.”

“Well, they aren’t so dumb after all, huh?” he still whispered to you, chuckling a bit as he turned around to the others, pointing to a free table, “Let’s sit down over there.”

This little shit was flirting with you. 

The soup was amazing. The alcohol was pouring. The atmosphere was loud and filled with banter and laughter. Jaebeom and his girl were making out in front of everyone in no time, literally being all over each other. Jackson, Yugyeom and Bambam were screaming along to ‘Come on Eileen’ playing in the background, doing those stupid fortnite dances to the old music, constantly motivating each other to do stupid moves and having the time of their lives. Mark was talking to his girlfriend, the majority of your friends still had no idea that they were actually dating and you wondered how they managed to keep it a secret in such a small town like this. You were just laughing, enjoying everyone’s presence - an evening like this was exactly what you needed, full of friends and possibilities to make amazing memories. 

Looking back at the fact that in the beginning, you were so afraid to start a new life here was ridiculous by now - this was your home, you were doing the thing you love with people you wouldn’t trade for anything. Not in a hundred years would you have thought that you’d find your happiness in this small town.

You carefully dared to look over to Jinyoung, hoping he wouldn’t catch you staring - you felt tingly, it might be the wine or the butterflies in your stomach but you felt so much comfort and happiness that you wanted to explode. The way he was laughing was making you go insane - you got lost in the wrinkles around his eyes and his side profile that seemed to be the most perfect thing you’ve ever seen. It was so nice and rare to see him letting go, being completely relaxed and warm. The longer you looked at him the more you craved something deep down in your stomach.

It felt like you were in a movie, the world around you blurred and slowing down while all you could concentrate on was the guy next to you - the guy, that used to be so cold to you and opened up step by step, going from thinking you were stealing chickens to flirting with you in front of everyone. You secretly hoped that the two of you were figuring out the future of your relationship sooner than later, slowly growing impatient. It was obvious to anyone who’d spent only five minutes around you: There was an undeniable tension, a chemistry that both of you felt.

Still staring at him while everyone was laughing and talking he stole a glance from you, seeing that your attention was already completely on him. His features softened as soon as his eyes met yours and the big laughter on his face turned into a small but impactful smile - immediately you felt a rush of confidence running through your veins, your heart beating faster. You hated how you were literally melting for him but you knew exactly that you couldn’t fight it so you might as well let him in.

His eyes were still locked with yours, no one daring to break eye contact. You wondered how this moment could feel so intimate when there were literally 200 people gathered around you - it felt like you were all alone, everyone else was busy cracking jokes while the two of you were busy falling in love. Or at least that was what it felt like. 

He gave you a small nod before sitting a bit closer to you, your thighs now touching. “Stop flirting with me. I might just break my cool character and blush,” he joked, making you chuckle before the two of you brought your attention back to your friends who were currently cheering for Bambam and Yugyeom, both trying to down their beer faster than the other one. You shook your head, letting out a laugh at them being messy. Jinyoung’s hand sneakily rested on your lower back and you hoped it would stay there for a while.

Bambam finished first and laughed at Yugyeom, who was still drinking, “Oh, I can’t believe you thought you could win against me. I’m the king when it comes to drinking,” he bragged.

Jaebeom, who was for once breaking free from his girlfriend, shook his head at Bambam, “You’re overconfident. Jinyoung, finish him.”

Jinyoung let out a groan, “Don’t make me do this.”

“Let’s go Jinyoungie, I bet I can beat you easily,” Bambam challenged him, knowing exactly how to provoke his friend.

“Dude, don’t do this to yourself, you’ll lose,” Jackson yelled, “No one can beat Jinyoung, you should know that.”

“I trained. And Jinyoung didn’t show off his skills in a long time, I think you’re underestimating me,” he insisted, opening another bottle of beer and putting it down in front of Jinyoung.

“Bambam, take it easy. It’s your fourth beer in what? Twenty minutes?” you interrupted, “I don’t wanna clean up all alone tomorrow because you are dying.”

“It’s harvest festival (y/n),” he whined while opening another bottle of wine for you, pouring something into your glass, “You gotta start learning how we do it here.”

Jinyoung shook his head, letting out another deep sigh, “You have no chance against me,” he held up his beer and waited for Bambam to do the same.

Bambam had a satisfied smile on his lips, ready to give it his all, “I’m going to fight for your title.”

Jinyoung let out a laugh, “That’s cute. Much luck trying.”

All of you were counting down from three and the guys started chugging down the beer like it was a life or death situation. It was stupid and childish but all of you were enjoying it, rooting for Jinyoung. If all of your friends could agree on one thing then it would be that Bambam needs to be taken down back to earth every now and then.

You looked at him, your mouth slightly open. One thing you definitely didn’t know about Jinyoung was how fast he could drink. He always seemed like the most reasonable and mature guy so you were kind of taken by surprise to see how he downed the bottle in the matter of a few seconds.

“Ha!” he let out, laughing as he put his bottle down, “You’re a fool, dude.”

Bambam let out a laugh, shrugging, “Never thought I had a chance, just wanted you to drink a bit. Who’s the fool now?”

“I didn’t know you could drink like that,” you turned to Jinyoung.

“This guy used to get so wasted every weekend, he just acts all pure in front of you,” Mark exposed his friend laughing.

You raised your eyebrow at Jinyoung, “Oh, let’s see who can handle more then, shall we?”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened surprised, not expecting you to challenge him when it comes to drinking, “You might regret that.”

“I don’t mind regretting a thing or two,” you poured the two of you some shots.

“That’s the spirit,” Bambam cheered, opening another bottle of beer.

Jinyoung and you were clinking glasses, “To Bertha!” he mentioned his favorite before both of you downed the shots, making a grimace as the bitter liquor went down your throat.

“That shit tastes horrible,” you stated, making him laugh.

“No one said getting drunk is easy,” he countered before immediately pouring you another shot, “But you wanted this. We can stop if you can’t take it, you know.”

“Definitely not,” you scoffed raising your eyebrow at him and holding up the shot glass, “It’s going to be a long, long night.”

“Oh, don’t promise what you can’t keep,” he flirted amused, laughing at you before getting ready to down the next shot, “To you and me.”

Nodding, you gave him a smile, “Whatever that might mean.”

You didn’t know what was faster: The time flying by or your alcohol level rising. It was around midnight now and the night just started. All of you were still drinking eagerly, sharing stupid stories and daring each other to do even more stupid things. The music was loud and the older people were dancing like there’s no tomorrow while you were still sitting at the table, playing cards and taking videos and photos of each other.

Some other girls around your age joined your group, you didn’t know them but the rest did. It was a nice group of people overall.

You still were watching the elders dance, smiling to yourself as your uncle and Jinyoung’s mum were dancing with each other, seemingly having the best time.

“Aren’t they cute?” Jinyoung turned to you with a grin, his hand resting right above your knee, slightly squeezing it. You could tell the alcohol had its impact on him because he was getting more touchy by minute, his eyes sparkling. 

You nodded, feeling a bit nostalgic seeing them together. They always have been close, both of them lost their significant others early and were left with their children and a whole farm to manage. “It’s nice that they’re having fun. I wish they’d take a break more often.”

Jinyoung hummed in agreement, his thumb caressing your leg, “I’m happy Mum has Minwoo. They are always there for each other and talk shit about me and Bambam,” he joked, his eyes still glued to his mother.

He was clearly adoring their little dance while you were adoring him.

“He’s really grateful you’re here.”, you didn’t expect Jinyoung to be so serious, a new side of him showing.

“I like being here. Wouldn’t go back,” you told him as you put your hand on top of his, appreciating the moment.

His eyes met yours, not thinking you’d hold his hand in front of everyone, even though no one could see, “You do? I didn’t think you’d fit in or like it here at first if I am honest.”

You let out a laugh, “Yeah, I know. You were very vocal about that if you don’t remember our first encounter as I came back.”

He joined your laughter, giving you an apologetic pout, “I’m sorry. I was being a bit rough, wasn’t I?”

You nodded, “Didn’t expect anything else though. You never opened up towards me when we were younger,” you explained to him in a soft voice, you didn’t want to hurt him with your words.

“I just wondered why you’d move here. I thought it was stupid. What does this little town offer you?” he asked curiously, his eyes glued back to your family.

“This, for example,” you gestured to them, “It’s very heartwarming here. You might not realize because you’ve always been here but this town is full of love.”

Jinyoung narrowed his eyebrows a bit, “I bet the actual reason you like it so much here is this cute neighbor of yours.”

You scoffed at his confidence, “Oh, you mean that Jinyoung guy? No, he’s just too busy loving himself, I doubt he could ever make time to let someone else in.”

He opened his mouth a bit, acting shocked, “Didn’t you hear?”, he asked you, turning his body to you now to completely face you, “Everyone says he’s a total sucker for you.”

Playing along, you slightly brushed your knees against his, “I don’t think so,” you let out a sigh, “Last week he had the perfect chance to kiss me but instead he threw me into the lake.”

He grinned, not expecting you being so witty. “I’m sure he was just nervous and regrets it very much.”

“I wonder what your sources are. They don’t seem very trustworthy. You know that guy, he has a heart made of stone.”

“Don’t let him fool you,” he came closer to whisper in your ear, “He’s actually a soft man inside.”

“(Y/n)!” your cousin screamed over to you, clearly drunk, ruining your little moment with Jinyoung, “Let's go, dance with your favorite cousin.”

You sighed heavily, knowing that refusing won’t work even though you didn’t want the playful banter with Jinyoung to end. So a few seconds later you found yourself on the dance floor, jamming to the old classics with your favorite human in town. Jinyoung and Jaebeom might be close, but no one would beat your family.

The two of you danced around like crazy, exaggerating every move, having fun without any worries for a few songs.

That was until you saw Bambam looking over to the rest of your group, his eyebrows narrowing, a mixture of confusion and anger in his eyes - his jaw clenched as he was glaring somewhere. You followed his gaze to see Jinyoung talking to a girl you didn’t know. You didn’t think anything of it at first, he didn’t seem very close to her, maybe even a bit uncomfortable.

“That little shit,” your cousin raised his voice, looking at you, “He better doesn’t do anything stupid.”

You threw him a questioning look, no idea what was going on, “What do you mean? They’re just talking.”

He shook his head, “That’s Elly. Elly and Jinyoung are never just talking.“

His ex. What did this mean to you? You didn’t feel jealous somehow. The evening was fine, Jinyoung was clearly giving all of his attention to you, the two of you weren’t dating, you didn’t even kiss yet. Of course, you hoped that this would change sooner or later, your feelings for him were undeniable at this point and part of you thought that they weren’t one-sided.

Before you said anything, Bambam was losing his temper, “He can’t treat you like this, (y/n). I’m going to talk to him.”

You laughed at his clearly drunken state, shaking your head, “No no, I can manage my relationships alone, don’t worry.”

He tried to look you in the eyes, failing slightly. You were pretty sure that if you’d ask him to touch his nose right now, he’d miss it by miles. 

“Why, of all people, Jinyoung? He’s too cold for you. I love this dude but I don’t want you to go through a hard time because of him,” he pouted, suddenly wanting to discuss your love life with you.

You knew you shouldn’t laugh, Bambam was being sincere and caring about you right now but his state was so fucked up that you couldn’t help it, “Let’s get you some water.”

Letting out a heavy sigh because you ignored him, he followed you to the Im’s table where they were selling drinks.

They immediately let out a laugh, “Oh, Bambam,” Jaebeom’s mother said amused at his clearly fucked-up state.

“Can we have a water, please?” you asked her as you held Bambam, wishing he’d stay still.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he tried to convince you, “I could do a cartwheel without a problem.”

“Please don’t,” you laughed at his confidence, giving him the cup of water and thanking Jaebeom’s mother, “Should we go back to the table?”

He nodded and you walked over to your group of friends, handing Bambam over to Yugyeom. Looking around you saw that Jinyoung was missing. Just as his ex-girlfriend.

Of course, you couldn’t know if they left together. Maybe Jinyoung just went home without saying goodbye. Checking your phone to see if he maybe texted you just disappointed you even more. You hated that you suddenly felt so vulnerable. The evening was so much fun up to this point, the fact that such a tiny thing could ruin your mood completely made you feel foolish.

Not daring to ask Jaebeom if he knew where he went or if they left together, knowing he’d try to comfort you, making you feel even worse, you said your goodbyes to your friends, claiming you were tired and needed some sleep.

Walking over to your home luckily was only taking you a minute, considering that the harvest festival was held on your farm. The worst thing about all this was that you didn’t know how to feel. Technically, you had no reason to be mad or jealous, Jinyoung and you never did anything more than flirting. On the other hand though, you liked him, so of course, it hurt you that he was probably enjoying himself with his ex-girlfriend right now. Your head hurt from all the alcohol and overthinking. You wished he would at least have said goodbye to you. Maybe, after all, he wasn’t into you as much as you thought. Today would’ve been his chance to make a move otherwise.

Opening your door you almost got scared to death. Your heartbeat was going crazy fast and you were even more confused than before. Just as you accepted the fact that Jinyoung left the party with his ex-girlfriend, he was sitting on your sofa, playing games on his phones, waiting for no one else than you.

“What are you doing here? How did you even get in?” you almost screamed, still shocked by the thought that someone broke into your house at first.

He laughed, simply stating, “I know where your spare key is.”

You shook your head in disbelief, “But what are you doing here? Why are you just sitting on my sofa?”

“I wanted to leave the party. But I still wanted to spend time with you.”

 “What about Elly?” you blurted out, your eyes immediately widening after you asked, realizing that he and you never talked about her.

He looked at you in shock, “W-What?”, you never head him stutter before, “What about her? How do you know?”, the confusion on his face vanished a bit, sighing heavy, “Jaebeom told you about her, right?”

You nodded, “It just came up once in a conversation we were having. And when I saw you with her I just assumed you left with her.”

He laughed, looking at you like you were crazy, “Why would I do that?”

You shrugged, not having an answer to his question. “What do I know? Maybe you missed her.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’d waste your time like that. And my time also,” he said softly, “Forget about her. She came up to me as soon as you left, trying to talk so I left.”

You nodded, understanding what was going on now, “So, you decided to break into my house?”

“Oh, I can leave if you want me to.“

“That’s not what I said,” you rolled your eyes. Suddenly, there was a pause. Neither of you were saying anything and you felt unsure of how to continue.

“Shouldn’t we clean outside a bit already?” you asked Jinyoung, trying to break the silence so you’d get out of this overwhelming situation. 

Jinyoung, on the other hand, seemed to be very relaxed, he almost felt at home on your sofa. He stood up, coming closer and closer to you, “It can wait until tomorrow.”

When he stopped, he was right in front of you, your feet were almost touching and if someone would push you at this moment, you surely would land on top of him, which actually sounded pretty nice to you. You nodded, trying to sneakily take a deep breath to calm down, you had no idea why you were so nervous. He’s by far not the first guy you kissed but he might be the one kiss you anticipated the most.

His hand slowly ran up your arm, then down again, giving you goosebumps all over your skin, his gentleness making you fall for him even more. His hand found yours and you looked into his eyes, wanting to drown in them as your stomach felt like it was tied in knots.

A small smile formed on Jinyoung’s lips as you locked eyes, not able to have a single clear thought. By now you were sure that tonight would be the night you’d finally have him where you wanted him. All for yourself.

Coming nearer, you felt his upper body almost touching yours, his head was leaning in and you saw him slowly closing his eyes as his free hand found your hip, bringing you even closer to him.

The moment before the actual kiss was already breathtaking enough. The mixed smell of his cologne and the alcohol the two of you drank earlier was making you feel dense. The touch of his hand was already burning but as his nose brushed yours slightly, a rush of adrenaline was sent through your whole body, making your stomach turn and you suddenly felt hot in places you didn’t know he had an impact on until now. It was rather quiet, the only sound you could hear was the muffled music from outside, but you couldn’t figure out what song was playing, only feeling the bass of it. Your heart was beating so fast, you hoped he couldn’t hear it.

But all those little and unimportant things around you vanished as soon as you felt his soft lips, pressed onto yours with the perfect amount pressure. The kiss developed from something shy and soft into the projection of what both of you had been craving secretly for so long in no time. No one dared to break the kiss, not wanting it to be over.

His hand wandered all over your body, from your hip to your waist, to your arms, to your neck, right back down to your lower back until he held onto your thighs.

“Jump,” he mumbled hectic, his voice deeper than usual, between your kisses, not wanting to stop.

“Are you sure?” you asked him carefully.

He chuckled into your kiss, “Never been more sure.”

So you did as he told you and jumped up, your legs now crossed around his hips as he held you up like it was nothing, deepening the kiss once again, your tongue playing with his. Being with him like this was more exciting than you ever could’ve imagined.

Your hand found the nape of his neck, burying itself in his soft hair, as he was carrying you to the sofa he was sitting on just a few minutes ago.

So there you were, on top of Park Jinyoung, straddling his muscular thighs, feeling a heat in your core that you haven’t felt in such a long time but missed so much. The way his hands were exploring your body while his lips were busy kissing every single spot on your jaw and your neck was making you feel like you were going insane, leaving you wanting every single part of him.

A small, rather quiet groan came out of your mouth as he pulled you closer to him, not able to suppress what you were feeling any second longer. He chuckled once more, clearly satisfied with the feelings he was giving you, before giving his attention to your lips again.

His one hand was now on your neck, supporting every movement between the two of you, as his other hand was resting on your hip, slowly making you rock back and forth on him, the tension in both of your pants growing.

Slowly, his hand started to wander under your shirt, to a place where you needed him desperately. He was caressing the skin under your shirt carefully, teasing while taking his time. You wanted nothing more than for him to move them upwards towards your breasts, giving you more and more. 

His lips were doing its magic on your neck again, kissing and nibbling on a soft spot under your ear as his hand slowly wandered up until his thumb finally found your nipple under your lace bra, the contact making you flinch a bit because of the intense feeling. 

He let out a deep groan, sending shivers down your body and an undeniable friction in your underwear grew, making you rock your hips into him once more.

You started to wonder if you were prepared for what was about to happen, the two of you were just starting and you already felt like a mess, wanting him so much more. But he took his time, enjoying every single second of you on top of him.

His hand was now kneading your breast, the pressure just exactly right as he brushed your nipple every now and then, already knowing its effect on you. Every time he touched your bud lightly you couldn’t help but moan.

You let out a small whine as your breast lost contact with his hand, not wanting him to stop. But as you realized that he was only stopping to pull up your shirt you were more than willing to give him what he wanted. Within seconds you were not only shirtless but also braless, as Jinyoung was throwing your bra away to the floor.

He studied what you looked like, wanting to never forget this moment. Leaning back on the couch you saw a satisfied smirk on his lips as his hand found your nipple again. He now was looking right into your eyes and you held eye contact with him, trying not to break it as you got wetter every time his thumb was caressing your nipple.

He enjoyed watching you trying to contain yourself for sure. The smirk on his lip was growing now and his glance was filled with a mixture of lust, adoration and mostly, anticipation of what was going to happen next.

You put your hand on his shoulder to support yourself as you started to dry-hump him, letting out a moan, a louder one this time, as you felt his erection under you.

“Shit,” he moaned, breaking eye contact and throwing his head back, his eyes closed as he bit his lip.

All of a sudden he stopped you from your actions, holding your hips down with both of his hand as he looked at you, frustration all over his face, “(Y/n), are you sure about this? I don’t think I’ll be able to stop once we started.”

Your heart skipped a beat, appreciating his question but you immediately gave him another kiss, this time a bit softer, kissing him deeply, before whispering into his ears. “Don’t you dare to stop now, Jinyoung.”

You could hear his chuckle, his breath on your neck giving you goosebumps. “Thank god,” he said before lifting you up without warning you, making you scream a bit, afraid he’d let you fall.

“Be careful, you scared me to death,” you laughed as you were being carried towards your bedroom.

“You think I’d let you fall?” he said amused, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” you countered, making him laugh as he arrived in your bedroom, letting you down on top of your bed - now you were under him, lying down as he was still sitting on his knees, taking in the view of your naked upper body right in front of him, for him only.

You did the same - and what a beautiful view it was. He was hovering over you, your legs between his as he was pulling his top over his head, throwing it away before unbuckling his belt as you were running your hand over his toned chest.

Not long until both of you were only left in your underwear. Jinyoung slowly removed your pants, before coming back up to you, supporting himself on his elbows as he gave you a deep kiss, adding tongue and caressing your cheek before looking at you. You couldn’t help but smile.

Jinyoung gave you a small smile back, his eyes soft, “I love that smile.”

Before you could think about his compliment, one that he never gave you before, before you could get flustered or say anything back he suddenly changed the game completely, fastly pulling your underwear to the side and sliding one finger inside of you while his thumb was rubbing circles against your clit.

Taken aback by his sudden actions, you let out a loud moan, almost a scream, making Jinyoung smirk a bit before his lips wandered down to your neck once again, taking his time with you as he pumped his finger in and out in just the right rhythm. You moved your hip into his movements as his lips kissed down to your chest, his free hand holding your breast while his mouth teasingly played with your nipple, licking it and twirling his tongue around it, making you a moaning mess already.

Your hand was lightly stroking his dick through his boxers, leaving you wanting more. God, the things you wanted him to do with you were unholy.

The way he glanced at you as he was kissing his way down to your core looked like living art. Your whole body wanted him so bad, just the thought of where his mouth would travel to next or how it would feel when you’d finally feel him inside of you was making you go insane. Never before have you wanted something as much and at the same time hoped he’d take his time before.

Arriving at his destination he let out a moan, definitely being into all of this a bit too much too. He started to slowly kiss your inner thighs, holding your legs up a bit, teasing every part around where you wanted him the most.

“Stop teasing,” you whined, wanting him so much more than you currently had.

He chuckled against your core, the warm air making you flinch, “I thought that’s our thing,” before licking along your wet folds and then adding another finger, his tongue giving all its attention to your clit.

The pace in that he was going down on you was making your knees feel weak. He looked so handsome, his forehead in wrinkles as he was concentrating on pleasing you completely, moans vibrating against you.

It didn’t take long for the two of you until you were having sex, the two of you completely concentrating on the sensational feeling for the next moments.

After you finished you laid down on your stomach, not able to really move, as Jinyoung let himself fall right next to you, giving your nose a small peck. He was not only out of breath but also still in trance of what had just happened, “I didn’t expect this,” he breathed, calming down from his orgasm.

You giggled a bit, “What? Us having sex?”

The smile he gave you made your heart race like crazy, his messy hair falling into his eyes, “I’m not complaining though.”

For a second you were lying there, letting Jinyoung catch his breath and calming down. You felt your legs shaking from the intercourse you just had.

“Feel my legs,” you ordered chuckling, his hand on your thigh in a second as he felt how much you were shaking.

“Glad you liked it,” he laughed before getting up, “I’ll get you a towel, be right back.”

As you were waiting for him to come back you realized what had just happened. After all the flirting and teasing Jinyoung and you actually ended up in your bed. The thought made you dizzy, but it could also be from the alcohol you drank. It seemed too good to be true.

Cleaning you up, you suddenly heard a laugh as he grabbed your ass, “I may or may not have left some marks. I’m sorry.”

You turned you head back, squinting your eyes at him, “You’re lucky no one else sees that part of me. The others would tease me to death about that.”

Slowly, he climbed back up to lay next to you, both of you on your stomach, his hand caressing your side, “Apparently they have a bet going on about when we’re going to end up together.”

“I’m not even surprised. Sounds like them,” you closed your eyes, enjoying Jinyoung’s affection, “This feels nice.”

He hummed in agreement before giving you a small kiss, his forehead resting next to yours, “I could stay like this forever.”

“Then stay,” you offered, still not opening your eyes. Jinyoung was getting a blanket, throwing it over both of you so you wouldn’t freeze, “Don’t leave. Stay here.”

“You want me to?” he asked, his hand now playing with your hair, “Alright, I’ll stay then. Sleep a bit, it’s late and you’re drunk.”

“I will, just give me one more kiss, okay?” you asked him, feeling yourself getting more tired by any passing second.

He chuckled as he came closer to your face once again, holding your face in his hands as he softly pressed his lips onto yours one more time, your naked bodies touching. “Good night, (y/n).”

Falling asleep, everything seemed too good to be true. Jinyoung beside you, his scent in your nose as you slowly drifted to sleep in his arms.

As you woke up he was gone. First, you thought you had dreamed about yesterday's events but after a few seconds, you realized that it wasn’t a dream. You got drunk, you had sex, you fell asleep next to him. And now, he was gone.

Standing up, you wrapped your blanket around your naked body, looking for the man that you spend the night with but he was nowhere to be seen.

Well, maybe it was too good to be true.

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+

It’s been five days. Five days since you shared your bed with Jinyoung. Five days and your goddamn sheets still smelled like him - or maybe you were hallucinating at this point, wanting just something that reminds you of him around you. The two of you talked to each other casually when you met on the farm. You said hi and talked about the weather. Shared awkward smiles. And that was about it. It’s not like he was cold to you or anything, he seemed to feel just as helpless and awkward about your drunk night together as you. As much as you loved the night and what happened, you definitely hated the aftermath.

Talking to Jaebeom about it didn’t help, sadly. While you appreciate that he always listens to you and is ready to give you advice at any given time, you still had hoped that he’d suggest something else than to give him a bit of time.

The current tension between you was even worse than the sexual tension between you before. You didn’t care if you and Jinyoung wouldn’t end up as a couple, of course, you’d like that very much and still hoped that things were going into that direction, but the two of you developed too much to just destroy the nice friendship you built because of feelings getting in the way.

So you decided to visit him that afternoon, feeling anxious as you were walking up the front porch of your neighbors. You barely remember how their house looked like from the inside since it’s been so long since you been inside. The front door stood open and you knocked against it, not wanting to be rude.

“Mrs. Park?” you called for her as you slowly stepped inside, looking if you could find her but there was no sign of her being home.

Walking up the stairs, you tried to remember which room belonged to Jinyoung until you were distracted by something odd and unexpected - suddenly your ears were filled with a beautiful but rather sad piano melody coming from the room on the back of the corridor. Curious, your feet walked towards the source of the sound, your heart suddenly felt heavy, the sad melody immediately managed to impact your mood, making you feel blue. A part of you wanted to turn around and leave Jinyoung alone, just like he probably wanted you to – if you figured out one thing about him over the last few months than it was the fact that this man was a complicated person, hard to read and even harder to talk to, but you decided to accept that. There were only two options: Either you’d work it out with him or you wouldn’t.

You stood in the open door, looking at the back of the man your heart wanted so bad, sitting in front of a big, wooden piano - for a second you couldn’t even believe that he was able to play such a heart touching piece of art, sitting in his room all alone. What a waste it was for him to play all alone, with no one around to hear. It made your heart sting for a second, at this point you liked him too much to go back. Just looking at him being at peace was making you crave to be the woman beside him. After all, he was Park Jinyoung, the one man that managed to surprise you over and over again.

As quiet as possible you walked into the tidy and light room, not wanting to give him a heart attack by creeping up on him but also not wanting him to stop playing. It was a beautiful sight, the way his hands were gliding on the big instrument so smooth and without thinking. You couldn’t see his face yet but you were already swooning over how beautiful he looked.

He looked over his shoulders as you cleared your throat, continuing to play even without paying attention to the keys, giving you an unreadable smile. You sat down on his bed that was placed right beside the piano as he stopped playing.

“Didn’t expect you to come visit me if I am honest,“ Jinyoung admitted, almost sounding shy. He seemed to be a bit uncomfortable, knowing exactly that he finally had to face the night you shared a few days ago.

“Well, I didn’t expect you to be able to play the piano so skillfully but yet, here you are, doing exactly that,“ you countered in a soft tone, not wanting him to feel like you were mad at him, “That sounded beautiful.”

He chuckled and you were happy to see him relax a bit, “You think so? It was rather depressing, wasn't it?”

“Matching your mood?” you dared to ask him carefully, trying to address the whole situation somehow.

He stood up from his chair and walked over to you, sitting down next to you on his bed, “It’s my dad’s birthday today. He taught me the song I just played.”

His voice was full of love while talking about his father but you could hear the hidden sadness behind it. You didn’t know about that and suddenly, you felt guilt rushing over you. While you were wondering why he didn't try to solve the obvious problem between you and him he had something way harder to deal with. Looking up at you, he forced a small smile, “Mum and Olli are visiting his grave but I didn’t feel like going.”

Trying to give him any kind of comfort you nodded, pressing your lips into a thin line. You were surprised that he was opening up to you but as sad as the situation was, it was relieving you that he finally talked to someone about it. According to Bambam and Jaebeom he tried to avoid this topic as much as he could.

“Why did you stay here?” you asked him, trying to keep the conversation going and show him your support. What you didn’t want was overwhelm him with questions, so you slowly started to see how comfortable he was around you.

He shrugged, looking up at the ceiling, “It’s such a sad place. I feel like we shouldn’t be sad on his birthday, if that makes sense. We should eat his favorite food and drink a beer and stay up too long, playing guitar on the porch. Mum and he always sneaked out at night on his birthday, taking drunk walks. They thought I didn’t notice but they were always coming back, laughing loudly. I miss celebrating his birthdays. But it’s hard to be happy on his birthday without him here.”

He laid down on his bed, his head right next to where you were currently sitting. You studied his face, his eyes still glued to the ceiling, not daring to look at you, the woman he hurt by leaving her after having sex with her. The sun outside was setting, leaving Jinyoung’s whole room in a golden light, his tan skin was glowing and his light-brown hair shimmering. While he seemed to be sad on the outside you could see that talking about the memories he made with his father was making him feel lighter. It was nice seeing him talking about his dad - they always have been very close, you still could recall that.

“I still remember him so vividly. He always gifted me self-made marmalade before I left the city and no other marmalade, literally not a single one at home was comparable to his,“ you shared your memory with Jinyoung, looking out of the big window in his room, admiring the sun, “He has a beautiful soul.” - When you came over you wouldn't have expected to talk to Jinyoung about his father but you knew that everything else, every problem and unsolved question, between the two of you could wait for now.

“I wish I was more like him,“ his voice was nothing more than a mumble, almost inaudible. The sudden craving to hold him came over you, to comfort him in your arms, to kiss him until he felt better. But you held back, as long as you didn’t talk about the obvious.

“What do you mean?” you asked him, daring to lay down beside him - luckily, he didn’t seem to mind. The two of you didn’t touch or cuddled, you just were lying there, on his bed, having a serious and meaningful conversation.

“He was so kind and positive. He told my mother different reasons why he loved her every night. Even after a long day of work he still took his time and practiced the piano with me every night and then brought Olli to bed, reading him a good night story or playing him songs on the guitar until he fell asleep. He taught me so much but still, I could never be so full of love like he used to be.”

“You think too low of yourself, Jinyoung,“ you said determined, meaning it, “I don’t think you see how much your mother appreciates everything you do for her. She knows that you didn’t plan out your life like this but you’re staying here for her. And Olli looks up to you so much, you could do nothing to let him down.”

He shrugged, looking at you for a second, “I don’t feel like that’s enough.”

Feeling heartbroken about hearing him talk so bad about himself, your hand found his in between the two of you, linking it with yours, now it was you who didn't dare to look into his eyes, “Look at us then.”

“What do you mean?” he asked you, confused.

“Since I moved here you gave me so much joy and helped me everywhere you could. You have no idea how much I appreciate all the things you’ve done for me since I came here, complicated tensions between us or not,“ you meant every word.

He scoffed lightly, “I attacked you on your first day, made you churn butter and let you fall into the lake in the middle of the night on your birthday.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his words, “Well, yes. And I could still kill you for all of those things. But,“ you started, turning your body towards him to look into his eyes, “You also helped me calm the cows during the storm. You gave me the most meaningful birthday present I could’ve thought of. You brought me a basket full of my favorite fruits even though you still deny that you did-”

He let out a soft chuckle before interrupting you, “That wasn’t me,“ he insisted once again with a grin on his face.

“Sure, Park,“ you rolled your eyes at him picking up this discussion again, “You might think you’re being cold but you’re not at all.”

Now he turned to face you too, both of you lying on the side, looking in each other’s eyes. His brows narrowed as he tried to say something to you, the expression in his eyes seemed to be hurt, maybe even guilty.

A heavy sigh came from his lips before he closed his eyes, “I just left you. That morning. I just got up and left.”

Those words made you freeze. After all, you came here to talk about exactly that but it seemed so wrong right now, “We don’t have to talk abou-”

“I just left,“ he repeated, seeming disappointed with himself, “I never just left someone after having sex with them. There were people that meant way less to me and I still stayed the morning after. I am being a complete asshole to you all the time and still, you don’t hate me. You’re here, trying to make sure I’m okay.”

Keeping quiet was the only thing you could do at that moment. Jinyoung’s words seemed harsh but the tone in his voice sounded guilty. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t say anything - you had no idea what Jinyoung was trying to say.

“Jinyoung,“ you finally started after a few seconds, his full attention on you, “This day is hard enough for you already. We don’t have to talk about that right now. I’m not mad at you.”

“You should be though. I know, I am pretty amazing but not even such a godlike man like me shouldn’t treat you like this,“ he joked but both of you knew it was his way of comprehending because he didn’t know how to handle the conversation you were about to have since he always struggled to talk about his feelings, especially sober.

“Why did you leave then?” you asked him the one question you asked yourself over and over again. There could have been millions of options in your mind. Maybe, he regretted it and it was just a drunk mistake. Maybe, the feelings you thought he had for you were just sexually. Maybe, he simply had to go and do something early in the morning. So many maybes that have gone through your head without any idea if any of those maybe’s were right.

“I don’t know. I wish I didn’t,“ he bit his lip nervously, not looking into your eyes anymore, afraid to see your reaction, “Maybe I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” you asked, not sure if you actually wanted to know the answer. You felt many emotions when it came to Park Jinyoung. You felt happiness, joy, hope, possibly love. On other days you felt powerless, insecure and confused. What you never felt was being afraid. Pretty sure, you actually felt safe around him.

“I’m not as flawless and strong as I constantly try to convince you I am,“ he sighed, pressing his lips into a straight line, “I couldn’t stand to hurt you because of my own problems. But I still did.”

Slowly you nodded as your heart was sinking deeper and deeper in your stomach, “You’ve got to talk to me, Jinyoung. What are you thinking about?”

Jinyoung hated this probably even more than you did. He was good in so many things - he was a good friend, a better brother and the best son. He was an amazing cook and apparently, an amazing piano player. He could flirt like no tomorrow and crack jokes around his friends that would make everyone laugh. He could drink a lot and he could make your heart beat faster. There were countless things he was able to be and to do without any problem. But when it came to talking about his feelings and showing his vulnerable side he failed. You knew that just as good as everyone else but if he wouldn’t talk, you couldn’t continue to work on your relationship.

“I,“ he started but stopped, looking at you sternly while clenching his jaw a bit. His eyebrows furrowed and his expression looked almost pained, trying to find the right words, “I think that I loved the night with you. I did, really. But maybe, it was a bit thoughtless of us.”

“So, what you’re trying to say is that you regret it,“ you stated, trying to just get this conversation over with, hoping he couldn’t see or hear that you felt like he just put a knife in your stomach.

„God, no,“ his answer bursted out of him like a bullet before he started mumbling to himself, „I am truly terrible at this.“

You gave him a few seconds to gather his thoughts even though the silence was deafening. This wasn't how you expected to spend your first time in Jinyoung's bed at all.

„I like you, (y/n),“ he then spoke, determined, „Obviously I do. And I think you like me too, or at least I hope you do. But we were drunk and desperate when we had sex and I wanted it to be special.“

You couldn't help but pout at his helpless confession, adoring him even more than before. Within seconds all of your doubts vanished – as long as Jinyoung liked you too you would find a way to work everything out. Trying not to let your overflowing happiness show, you gave him a small smirk, „You thought about us having sex?“

Luckily, his body relaxed too, an annoyed smile appearing on his handsome face, „All the time,“ he scrunched his nose, his arm wrapping itself around your waist.

„So, what you're saying is that you ignored me for days because you didn't like the way it happened?“ you asked him, coming back to the actual topic.

Frowning, he sighed, „When you put it like this it sounds stupid.“

„Because it is,“ you insisted, squinting your eyes at him, „I thought you avoided me because you hated me or something like that.“

„I'm so sorry,“ he apologized again, his face coming closer to yours, „Apparently, I'm very bad at this.“

„So, what are we doing now?“ you asked him, feeling a bit anxious even though Jinyoung just told you that he liked you too, so you had nothing to worry about.

„First, I want to kiss you if you're fine with that,“ his fingers were drawing little patterns on your waist, „and then I'd like us to become something serious.“

Nodding, you did as he asked and gave him a kiss, his soft lips feeling just as good, if not better, as you remembered them. You felt something like butterflies in your stomach and you thought that Jinyoung would probably make fun of you if he knew how jolly he made you feel.

Breaking from the kiss, the most handsome man you've ever seen stared you down for a second, not saying anything.

„We should celebrate,“ he suddenly suggested.

„What do you have in mind?“ you asked him curiously, not once escaping his gaze.

„Let me take you out to dinner,“ his voice was sweet as honey and you were sure you never heard him talk in such a soft tone – it might be the rest of guilt he still felt towards you or the fact that now you officially knew about each other's feelings but you could get used to it. You wanted to get used to it.

„Right now?“ you asked him, wondering if it would be okay considering it was his father's birthday.

„I don't wanna wait a second longer,“ he smirked at his own cheesiness, getting out of his bed to get ready to go.

You joined him, „Stop being so loving. God, where did my cynical Jinyoung go?“

Rolling his eyes, he chuckled as he wrapped his arm around your waist, walking down the hallway with you. „This changes nothing,“ he gestured between the two of you, „You're still terribly annoying even if we're together now.“

„I could get used to the sound of that,“ you scrunched your nose as your eyes met before you repeated his words, „We're together now.“

Even though he tried to hide it, he was just as excited about the label as you were. You could feel it in the way he touched you and the sparkle in his eyes gave him away.

A few minutes later you were sitting outside of the restaurant in the heart of your city, the marketplace was pretty quiet as it slowly got dark outside, a candle lit on your table.

The owner of the restaurant greeted you, raising his eyebrow and smirking as he saw the two of you together. „Oh, what a nice sight to see the two of you here together. Is this a date by any chance?“

You let Jinyoung answer, not knowing if he was okay with telling people yet.

„It's still a secret so you have to keep quiet, please,“ he answered with a proud smile on his lips and you could swear his chest was sticking out a bit.

„What a pretty couple,“ he sang as he went back inside, giving you a bit of time to read the menu and decide on what to eat.

Even though it was almost autumn it was still warm outside – you loved those kind of late summer evenings. Without even having a single sip of alcohol you felt almost tipsy, the man opposite of you making you feel all light and smitten.

„This is the downside of living in such a small town,“ Jinyoung started, his skin glowing in the candlelight, „We have zero privacy.“

„I don't mind,“ you shrugged, „They're going to find out sooner or later. It's the charm of towns like ours.“

„I just would like to take you out on a date every now and then without one of the guys crashing it because they see us,“ he explained, „But you're right, it's not as bad here as I make it out to be.“

He took your hand that was resting on the table, caressing it with his thumb. Every touch you two shared make you shiver in anticipation for more. Even though you already knew you were head over heels for him you felt yourself falling deeper every time you touched.

Time went by way too fast for your liking and before you knew it you two had your dinner, your dessert and even some drinks afterwards. The atmosphere was light, both of you enjoying each other's company after not talking for some days.

„I don't want this night to end just yet,“ you pouted. Before you dared to take his hands you glanced around to see if Bambam was anywhere to be seen, not wanting him to disturb your peace.

Your new boyfriend, still a weird thought to call him that, nodded, „I can stay if you want to.“

Before you could say anything he fastly added, „I don't have to though. It's your decision. I can leave too.“

You gave him a weird glance, „You're acting like this would be a first for us.“

Not saying anything he almost froze in front of you, fidgeting with his hands, staring at your door. For a few seconds you mustered him, waiting if he'd say something but nothing came out of his mouth, which was pretty unusual for him.

„Oh god, you're nervous!“ your grin was a mile wide and you clapped your hands amused, „Park Jinyoung is nervous because of me. I can't wait to tell my diary about this.“

Frustration was written all over his face as he closed his eyes as if he couldn't believe himself. „Your diary must be full of my name,“ he mumbled under his breath before looking at you again, the satisfied smile on your face provoking him, „Stop making fun of me.“

As you were searching for your keys in your back he hugged you from behind, pressing a kiss against your hair, “Let’s drink some beer and watch a movie.”

Nodding, you stole a quick kiss from his lips and opened the door, letting the both of you in. 

“I’m going to get a blanket,” you informed him, “Get some beers, I’ll meet you in the couch in a minute.

„What do you wanna watch?“ he asked you a few moments later, one leg bent while the other one was spread out on your sofa, his arm spread on the back of it, just waiting for you to join him.

The sight of him comfortably sitting on your sofa gave you the most domestic feeling you've felt in a long time – he seemed to look even better than before somehow.

„Let's watch an animal documentation,“ you responded, sitting down next to him. The blanket you brought from your bedroom spread over the two of you, you dared to cuddle yourself up to him and he seemed to enjoy it as much as you, giving your head a quick kiss, your face resting on his chest.

„You're weird,“ he muttered, „Let's watch a horror movie instead.“

Giving him an unimpressed glance, you sighed, „How cliche.“

You could feel his chuckle going through his chest, „At least it would give me a reason to stay for the night.“

Rolling your eyes, you looked up at him, his glance already on you, „Why? Because you're too afraid of horror movies? Because I am certainly not.“

„I have such a brave girlfriend,“ he acknowledged in a sarcastic tone while opening two beers, handing you one, „Here's to us, babe.“

Clinking your bottles, you took a sip of your beer, „So, you're a babe kind of guy? Wouldn't have thought that.“

„I can call you asshole if you prefer that,“ he said seriously before starting to laugh at his own joke once again.

And with that, the rest of the evening was just as perfect as the first part. It was just you, Jinyoung, some beers and Netflix. Every now and then you shared kisses, sometimes those kisses were a bit more passionate and longer, turning into full make-out sessions before Jinyoung started to whine because he missed the plot of the movie you were watching.

“God, I’m so happy,” he told you softly as you were slowly falling asleep in his arms, relaxing completely under his touch, “I wanted this for so long.”

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You and Jinyoung managed to keep your relationship a secret for about two weeks. It took you only two short weeks to decide that it didn’t make any sense to keep it from them. Not only were both of you pretty sure that the relationship between you was serious but also, like always, none of your friends stopped their teasing, making it difficult to stay hidden because their eyes were always on you.

“We have to tell them,” your boyfriend looked at you, “It’s a miracle they didn’t find out yet.”

You chuckled, wrapping your legs around his, “I guess you’re right. But they are going to be so nosey about it. I hate it already.”

It was a late summer Saturday evening, probably one of the lasts warm days for this year and Bambam decided to gather your friends and your family together for one last barbecue.

Walking outside, you linked your arm with Jinyoung’s, something you’ve never done before in front of other people. A part of you almost felt nervous to let the rest know.

“You’re ready?” he asked you, giving you a small wink as you walked towards the big table next to the barbecue grill. Your families were already sitting down on the big table while Jaebeom and Jackson were struggling to get the barbecue grill to work. It was a beautiful evening, the sun was still high but was about to sink, the warm summer breeze felt refreshing and the big table in the garden was full of drinks and food, from meat to salads to bread to vegetables. Jaebeom’s parents were there too, currently mixing some cocktails.

Bambam was the first to spot the two of you walking out of your cottage, giving you a confused glance, his eyebrows narrowed. He stopped telling the other a story he was in the middle of, wondering about the sudden skinship. Immediately, everyone turned their heads to where he was looking, wondering what made Bambam speechless.

As you arrived you said nothing, waiting for anyone to say something.

Jaebeom looked at you with a big grin on his face, “What is that supposed to mean?”, he asked, pointing onto your linked arms.

“You are fucking with us, aren’t you?”, your cousin asked suspiciously, “Ha Ha. Very funny.”

“No Bam, for once I’m serious, you replied, amused because he didn’t believe you, “Are you really surprised?”

Mrs. Park and your uncle looked at each other, a smile on their faces.

“Jinyoung, are you serious? You can’t trick your old mother like this, don’t make me excited for something that isn’t true.”

Jinyoung chuckled at his mother, nodding, “Don’t worry, mum. I’d never lie to you.”

Bambam still didn’t seem to believe you, “If you’re not kidding you gotta kiss,” he insisted with a sly smirk, thinking that he exposed you now.

You looked at Jinyoung, giving him a questioning glance, not knowing if he’d be comfortable kissing you in front of everyone. But he didn’t seem to care and just shook his head amused before he came closer to give you a short, but still very adorable, kiss on your lips, his arm now around your waist, before turning to Bambam, who looked like he was about to faint.

“Who do you think you are just dating my cousin without asking me for permission?” he yelled angrily, getting ready to fight Jinyoung.

You, Jaebeom and Jackson started to laugh out loud as Bambam started to chase after Jinyoung.

Sitting down on the table right next to Jaebeom’s seat he pinched your cheeks lightly, “Congratulations, finally trapped him, huh?”

You nodded, “Was about time. I was slowly going insane.”

“In a more peaceful minute, you need to tell me all about how it happened, alright?” your best friend said with a satisfied smile on his lips, “And don’t forget me now that you’re in love.”

“How could I ever?” you promised, laughing as Jinyoung came back to the table, out of breath from running away from Bambam.

“Your cousin is crazy, (y/n),” he breathed heavily, shaking his head, “Maybe I have to reconsider becoming part of your family.”

“Well, too late now,“ you shrugged as Bambam joined the table again too, a goofy smile on his face as he turned to you.

“So, I assume I can’t try to set you up with Yugyeom anymore, right?” he joked, sitting back down on his chair and opening two cans of beer, one for himself and the other one for you.

„You better watch your mouth,“ your boyfriend warned Bambam, giving him a warning glance.

A few hours later, the sky was pitch-black by now and the stars sparkling, you noticed that Jinyoung was gone for quite some time now and decided to go check up on him - you saw him going to the barn earlier.

As you walked over to Jinyoung he already noticed you but didn’t look at you yet. Instead, you only saw his back as he was busy giving Bertha some kisses.

“Oh no, don’t worry, Bertha,“ he talked to her, “You’re still my favorite cow, just don’t tell (y/n).”

You rolled your eyes, scoffing, “You’re trying to make me jealous?”

He turned around, acting as if he didn’t realize you coming on, “Oh no, (y/n),“ his voice was mocking, “You shouldn’t have seen this, I can explain, I promise.”

Laughing at his own joke, he came over to you and put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. Trying to give you a kiss, you freed yourself from his grip, giving him the cold shoulder.

“No, go and kiss Bertha, if you love her so much,“ you huffed and held your chin up high, trying to stay serious but Jinyoung wasn’t having it. Within seconds his arms were wrapped around you once again, now tighter than before so you couldn’t escape if you wanted.

Pulling you into a hug, he locked his eyes with you, a joyful smile on his still so beautiful lips, “You’re so annoying.”

Scoffing, you avoided his eyes, still playing hard to get, „I thought we're over the whole 'you're annoying me' phase.“

„Actually, each time I told you that you're annoying I fell in love with you a bit more,“ your boyfriend confessed, still hugging you tightly before smirking, „But you still were a pain in the ass.“  

You gave him a quick and small kiss before resting your forehead against his, “I want to spend the rest of my life annoying you.”

He let out a small laugh, his eyes closed. “Oh, that’s good,“ suddenly he picked you up, giving you no other chance as to hold onto him, your legs around his waist as he was holding you up, his arms tightly around your waist, “Because I want to spend the rest of my annoying life with you.”

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the end! if you read this whole thing i wanna thank you. this is my first long scenario and it took me a lot of time to finish it. of course, i have a lot improvement to do but i hope i could at least make someone happy with it. :)

[thechosenburrito]

Intro to Love: 1.4-Thanks for Ghosting Me

Word Count: 1,581

Description:

Xochi and Carson are on their way to study when they’re rudely interrupted.

Author’s Note:

Almost done with Chapter 1!  Maybe I’ll be done tonight!

Previous Chapter: 1.3-I Can See Right Through You

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It's hard to sleep when you feel like shit.  That's why I only slept for 30 minutes after my little episode the night before.  The clock read 7 o'clock which came as a shock to me as I usually only see it followed by a "pm".  I stayed in bed for a couple of hours, scrolling through an endless stream of nothing on my phone.

My stomach growled out of nowhere.  I smiled a bit when it wasn't immediately followed by nausea.  I got up and pulled a cold slice of pizza from the fridge.  I was able to finish a small slice and figured I could use this time to take an extra-long shower.

It was nice to shower some of the sadness away.   But, when I got out, my eyes were still puffy and had dark circles under them.  This wasn't unusual for a college student.  However, I generally try to present myself as someone who didn't have a mental breakdown the night before.  I dried my hair in front of the mirror in my room.  Drying my thick dark hair required using my blow-dryer on the maximum setting, which isn't optimal for dorms with paper walls.  My true hair revealed itself.  It was wavy in strange places and I had a sort of cowlick in the front.  I plugged in a flat iron to tame the crazy mess.  

I touched the dark bags under my eyes.  I considered putting concealer over them, then on the red marks on the side of my nose, and maybe followed by the weird freckle on my right cheek.  At that point, I didn't really feel like doing make-up anymore.  I looked closely at my eyebrows.  A bit over-grown, but thick brows were in.  I think? Oh well.  I toweled off and pulled on a tank top and hoodie ( Of course with proper supportive garments underneath).  I pulled on a pair of jeans and slipped on my black canvas sneakers.  The iron was finally hot enough and I got to work on my hair.  I've done this a million times, which made it the perfect time to let all my stupid thoughts out.

What if they made really tiny curling irons for eyelashes?  Actually, I don't want that THAT close to my vulnerable eyeball.

Am I strong enough to stand on the tips of my toes in these shoes?

Of course, I put the iron down and tried it out.

"Ow."

Not yet.  Next time for sure.

Should I become a beanie person?  Are beanies secretly my thing?

I pressed my hair to my head and imagined a beanie there.

Nope.  My head is a weird shape.  Guess I can't go bald either.

I finished up my hair and unplugged the iron.  I still had a couple of hours to kill and an orange soda from the vending machine down the hall was calling my name. I grabbed my room keys and wallet and headed down the hallway.  I passed a few early risers on the way.  Do people actually wake up this early? For fun?  I kept scrolling through my phone to avoid eye contact.  I wasn't really feeling the whole 'interaction' thing.  At some point, I realized I was scrolling and not even looking at anything.  Not my best moment.  A sponsored post caught my eye and made me audibly groan.

God, another ad for a Team StrikeForce! (TM).

"Even Superheroes need clean teeth!  Use StrikeForce SuperClean Toothpaste to fight back against plaque!"

StrikeForce was essentially a government-backed superhero team.  They purposely sought out conventionally attractive people with the most vanilla powers ever to represent the "ideal striker".  And they made sure to throw in some token minorities.  You had a strong girl, a flying man, someone that blasted fire from their hands,  and some other generic power. Speed maybe?  Telekinesis?  I did my best to avoid any media with them in it. They were essentially glorified cops who spouted government-approved messages like "It's cool to protect your chip from harm so keep yourself and others safe!  " and "Remember: Public use of powers is against the law!  Only teams like StrikeForce are allowed so everyone can be safe!". Right after the lightning storm, they actually did some important things like stopping individuals who abused their powers.  But, once people realized they could get away with more crimes by keeping on the down-low,  the StrikeForce lost their bite and became the government puppets on kids' backpacks we all knew and loved.

I sighed a bit.  Being critical was too tiring.  I quickly realized that I was going to crash. I didn't expect my sleep debt to catch up to me so quickly. I started getting everything to make coffee but hesitated at the thought of drinking something caffeinated after last night.  

I'll make a cup of tea first.  That'll cancel out the caffeine.

Yes, that's exactly how biology works.

I put on water to heat up and chugged an iced coffee from the fridge while it brewed.  Chasing ice cold coffee with nearly-boiling tea made my insides feel like an absolute mess of clashing temperatures.  

Phone buzzed.

(C) I forgot there's a staff meeting in the study room today.  Wanna go to the library instead?

I paused a moment before replying.

(X) Yeah that works.  I'm good to leave whenever you are

(C) Cool, I'll be downstairs in 5

(X) ok see you then

I threw all my supplies in my backpack, grabbed my keys, and started making my way to the dorm lobby.

I saw Carson chatting with someone at the front desk and laughing.  I'd seen the guy at the front desk a million times and barely made eye contact, except the time I got locked out of my room and was forced to talk to him.

I slowed down my pace and stared at my phone as if I didn't notice before taking a breath and walking up to him.

I struggled to plaster on a normal-looking smile.

"Hey! Ready to get going?" I asked, too cheerily.

"Yeah, just-"

A phone alert when off on all three of our phones.

"MISSING: 20 YR OLD FEMALE, 150 LBS., 5'6", STRIKER, LAST SEEN IN PURPLE SWEATER ON JUAREZ ST 9 AM. SEE LOCAL MEDIA."

My breath caught in my throat.

"Oh no.." I whispered.

"Wow," said Carson. "Juarez Street isn't even that far from here.  Do you think she was a student?"

I shrugged.  The guy at the desks scoffed.

"How do I turn these off? I hate the sound of those dumb ass alerts going off all the time," he said in a huff.

It was Carson's turn to shrug.  He pulled on this backpack.

"Ok, we should get going.  Let's be careful though.  We don't wanna get snatched up!" he said with a laugh.

I smiled and we headed out the door.  We walked for a bit in awkward silence before Carson casually broke it.

"So why did they have to put that the girl was a Striker? Doesn't exactly help identify her," he asked.

"Probably to make sure no one ever looks for her,"  I sighed.

"Really?" he responded innocently.

"Uh no. Ha, not really. I was just making a joke about how people don't tend to like Strikers," I tried to keep from stumbling over my words. "A lot of the time, when they find..uh...a body... they check to see if they're a Striker to help identify them."

We stopped at an intersection.  I decided to let Carson cross first, thinking they wouldn't try to hit me if they saw him first, even though there was only one car quite a bit away.

"Oh yeah.  That actually makes sense since they have..." he rubbed his shoulder "..those chip things.  Do you think it hurts?"

"I don't..." I heard the sound of a car speeding up.  I turned only to be met with the unmarked marked white van only 10 feet away from us.

I didn't have time to scream.  I lunged at Carson, praying that I'd grab onto him in time.  As soon as I got my hands on him, I did my best to think permeable thoughts.  

I watched the bumper pass right through us.  For a split second, I could see into the interior of the van.  The driver was wearing a bandana over his face and sunglasses, but even with both of those, you could tell he was sure that he turned me to roadkill.  I caught a brief glimpse of the back of the van.  I could make out a dark hunched figure and maybe some rope, but it was all going too fast.

We both hit the ground hard.  I was pretty grateful that I landed on a person and not the asphalt.  I rolled off him and tried to catch the breath that got knocked out of me.   It immediately occurred to me that we were both still in street, and I started helping Carson onto the curb.  His arms had some scrapes on his arms and a couple of holes in his T-Shirt, but otherwise, he didn't look too bad.  We collapsed onto the curb.

"Holy shit.  We got lucky." I managed between breaths.

I turned to him, but his face wore an expression of shock rather than relief.

"No.  That was beyond luck.  We should be dead." he said darkly.

He turned to look at me so quickly, I shot right up.

"How did you do that?"

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Next Chapter: 1.5-The Good, The Bad, and The Unmasked

a/n:

I can’t think of anything clever to put here but you should totally send me asks and stuff

[s1cparvism4gna]

PuNK

WARNINGS: SMUUUUT, cursing

Pairings: Rafe Adler x OC

Tags: @desertvvitch , @courtenbae , @tiecladartist

Author’s Note: I’m now going to be posting my fic chapters on this blog instead of the other. As always, let me know if you’d like to be tagged 💕 enjoy! 😉

Chapter 6

Lyric’s POV

The next week at work was… strange to say the least. First of all, I’d never been so well rested. Second, I had gotten a call from the dive bar that some fancy guy came in and bought all the Floral and Fading tee shirts. All of them. ‘Who needs 150 band tees? That are the same….’ I thought. I tried not to think much of it but we made a lot of money from it. Enough to get groceries and laundry done and enough to splurge on getting my nails done for Italy (which I still couldn’t believe I was even going!). The third reason, which was the strangest of them all, was Rafe. He was acting weird. And by weird, I mean he’d been smiling more and saying his morning greetings pleasantly. Instead of yelling bloody murder when he asked things of me, he’d temporarily step out of his office to physically look at me and pose his questions. And he’d say things like “please” or “would you mind”.... I was almost convinced he’d been abducted by aliens and replaced with a clone. He would let me go home early, he would extend my lunch breaks, and he even invited me to join him at lunch. On more than one occasion. To which I immediately but politely declined. It was too much too soon. It felt like a trap.

By the time Thursday rolled around, I had everything packed to go. The air in the office was as normal as always. Everyone was tired and complained about how shitty their morning was. Everyone but my coworker Winter who was solely interested in Rafe and I’s upcoming trip to Italy. But for all the wrong reasons…

“I just think he might have a little crush on you is all.” She said, scribbling in her journal and typing up something in her computer. I snorted rather loudly as I sipped on my coffee.

“That’s bullshit if I ever heard it—”

“Just hear me out!” She exclaimed, low enough for only the two of us to hear. She stood from her desk and scuttled over to sit on the edge of mine. I leaned back into my seat, legs crossed and lips pursed to keep myself from bursting into laughter.

“Please. I would love to hear your reasoning.” I said, awaiting her answer as if I was waiting for the punchline of a joke to kick in. She pushed her blonde hair behind her ears and leaned towards me.

“First of all, it’s really not that far off. He relies on you to get shit done around here. If you weren’t here, he’d be a wreck, this office would be a mess, and half of us would lose our jobs. Two! You haven’t even seen how he’s been looking at you lately—”

“He doesn’t see me—” I interrupted briefly, tugging on the collar of my light pink turtleneck and sipping my coffee.

“Bullshit. The other day when you two were in a meeting, you got up to do something for Mr. Ackles and I looked up for a split second, glanced in the conference room…. I swear to God, he could not stop staring at you. I mean everywhere you moved in the room, his eyes were on you.” She said to me. I crinkled my brows and opened my mouth to refute but truthfully I didn’t know what to say.

“I’m his assistant! He’s probably making sure that I don’t fuck up—” She made a face for me to shut up. So I tilted my head as she continued.

“And let's be real about this: we can not act like he’s not the most attractive man in the building.” She winked at me, looking around to make sure he wasn’t around. She wasn’t wrong. Rafe was very attractive. I just never stared long enough to be under his thrall. And I never would. He was much too uptight for me. “Ricki, look. You’re 32. You’re not gonna get any younger. And that punk act you’ve got going on isn't gonna last forever.” I scoffed, trying my best not to be offended. I put blood, sweat, tears, money, and sleep loss into my musical career.

“Wow…” I laughed, blinking at her a bit.

“Not saying that you won’t make it but… isn’t that type of music generally for the younger crowd?” She asked me. She wasn’t really helping herself.

“Keep on callin’ me old, Winter….” I warned her in a half joking tone.

“I just think that if it turns out that he really does like you, you’d be stupid to not at least try it out—”

“Okay, you know what? I don’t care how he looks at me. The man dramatically spits out coffee if it’s not the right temperature. Why do I need that kinda stress in my life?”

“Because he’s rich.”

“I don’t care about that. He’s a shitty person.” I said simply, ending the conversation as I grabbed a file from behind her and opened it to read. She gave a frustrated sigh and crossed her arms, looking at me in disappointment. I glanced up from the file and she was still standing there. “Was that all?” I asked in a slightly bitchy tone. She shook her head.

“You’re unbelievable.” She said, smacking the back of my head playfully and sitting at her desk.

“Unbelievably SICK!” I retorted, flipping her off momentarily and she chuckled. Just then, Rafe came stalking into the office.

“Good morning, Mr. Adler!” Winter greeted, like the kiss ass she tended to be. But he ignored her.

“Ms. Lewis, could you meet me in my office please?” He asked as he quickly walked by.

“Yes s-” Before I could even finish my answer, his door slammed shut. I blinked, unsure of what to even think. He was happy all week… ‘I hope he’s still happy…’ I thought as I stood. Winter and I exchanged glances and I entered his office. He was scarily quiet, his hands gripping onto the edge of his desk until his knuckles were white. His briefcase laid sprawled out on the floor; I assumed he tossed at the couch and it didn’t make it. I carefully closed the door behind me and walked towards his desk. Once again, I couldn’t help but ask. I rested my hands on one of the seats in front of his desk and crossed my ankles, taking a deep breath before speaking.

“Are you okay?” I asked. He gave a deep sigh before curling his fingers into fists and punched the desk for a second. I jumped at the sudden noise as he sat down.

“No, Lyric. I’m not okay. I was but not anymore.” He answered through gritted teeth.

“What happened?” I sat down in the seat I was leaning on, smoothing out my skirt as he paced behind his desk. He began with a huff, already seeming more irritable the more he dwelled on it.

“Tell me… have you been keeping up with Samuel by any chance?”He asked as calmly as possible. I gave a nervous chuckle.

“What- do you think we keep tabs on each other like teenagers?” I answered. Truthfully, I hadn’t seen him in a very long time. I was almost disappointed. Almost. Rafe’s cheeks seemed to turn a faint pink for a moment as his poker face faltered a bit.

“No, no- I just…. I figured since you two were so close in the office that maybe you kept in touch...” he replied in a boyish tone.

“Are you jealous?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit clearly he wasn’t feeling it.

“Lyric, please… This is serious.” His tired green eyes locked with mine and I could immediately see that whatever the problem was was truly stressing him out. So I gave him a break.

“No. I haven’t heard from him.” I told him. He hummed at my answer and scratched at the stubble that attempted to appear on his chin. “Rafe, what’s going on?” I asked, beginning to feel concerned. He seemed to be doing a few breathing exercises before he answered.

“It seems that some of my research has gone missing.” He said, holding onto the back of his seat for dear life.

“And you think Sam took it?” I asked.

“Well he is a thief, after all… I wouldn’t put it past him.” he grumbled, putting his head in his hands. My eyes widened.

“No shit.”

“Yes shit. He didn’t just magically come out of thin air. I…” he paused to carefully choose his words. “I bailed him out.”

“Oh. Shit…. How long was he in for?” I asked. I couldn’t believe it.

“14 years…” he replied, running his fingers through his hair.

“For stealing?! What did he steal?! The Hope Diamond?!”

“Oh no he uh…. he killed a guard on the inside.” He mumbled.

“HE WHA- he what?!” I snapped.

“Yeah. Congratulations. You were flirting with a murderer.” He said in a sassy tone. I chuckled and denied it.

“No… I wasn’t...flirting-”

“You were just being friendly?” He said. I smirked at him.

“Oh piss off!” I said, playfully hitting his forearm. I half expected him to look at me like I was crazy but he just smiled small and huffed in frustration, resting his forehead on his desk.

“Ugh this is the fucking worst…” he said. “I bet he’s on his way to Italy for that cross now.”

“Okay cool- but it’s an auction. Last I checked he was broke as hell and the security will be so tight…. So don’t worry about it, okay?” I said, calmly. He searched my eyes for a moment and nodded. His shoulders dropped and he seemed a bit more at ease. I put a comforting hand over his and ran my thumb over his knuckles. “It’ll be fine. We are going to go to Italy, sip some wine, eat some pizza, and get all dressed up for this auction. And you’re going to walk out of the estate with this cross. I’m manifesting it. I am putting it into the ether.” I said as positively as possible. His eyes never left mine and his grip had tightened a little in my hand.

“Of all the fine cuisine that Rome has to offer, you still want... pizza?” He chuckled in amusement.

“Of course! I want real Italian pizza, okay? With melted mozzarella and fresh tomato sauce and all the seasonings! Not one from down the street...or a frozen box.” I said and the look he gave me shocked me. His eyes seemed to trace over every feature of my face and his cheeks faintly blushed again. For a second I began to wonder if this is what Winter saw. This look that he was giving me right now. That shy look of longing. He smiled and retrieved his briefcase, sitting it on his desk as he avoided my gaze.

“Very well. I’m sure there’s a decent pizzeria around.” He said, taking a seat.

“Yes!” I exclaimed as I stood to leave. “So remember! Don’t worry. You’ve got this all under control.” I said, backing out of the office. And with that, I went back to my own desk. I sat down with a sigh. I couldn’t shake the look he’d given me. I suddenly hated Winter for making me notice it. Something about him was no doubt changing and I was interested to see what. I sipped on my coffee and continued to work until the day was out.

Finally, it was time to go. I pulled my suitcase from under my desk and dragged it to sit next to me. The office had gone home for the day and my last order of business was to leave Winter instructions on what to do in our absence. I was literally shaking with excitement. I’d never been anywhere outside the country before. I couldn’t wait for a bit of warm weather. I was freezing my ass off here. Rafe seemed to keep his cool since I talked to him last and to be completely honest, I was glad about it. The last thing we needed was his temper on a whole 9 hour flight. After a while, he appeared from his office and closed his door behind him with a tired smile.

“You ready?” He asked me. I shot up from my seat and threw on my trench coat, making sure I had everything together.

“Absolutely!” I grinned.

“Allow me.” He said, lifting the handle of my suitcase and dragging it along behind him. I was surprised at him. I always knew he was a gentleman but I’d never been on the receiving end of it before.

We walked to the elevator that took us to the rooftop and waiting for us, on and ready, was the big white company plane. I stopped for a second as I watched Rafe board the plane to just appreciate the experience I was about to have. “Are you coming or are you just gonna stand there?!” I suddenly heard Rafe shout to me above the deafening engines, tearing me from my thoughts. I nodded and ran towards the plane, trying not to twist my ankles in the tall heels on my feet. He stretched out a hand to me and helped me up the small flight of stairs. We were greeted by the pilot and a stewardess and shown to what was pretty much a lounge on this plane. The interior of it all was absolutely gorgeous. There were lavish beige recliner seats and a couch to match. Portable desks were made cherry oak with golden cup holders and the carpets were a deep wine red with gold accents. Red curtains covered the windows and there were even decorative pillows and blankets— everything was made to match. When I sat down, the stewardess came in and immediately began asking us if we wanted food or drinks… or alcoholic beverages.

“We’ll take dinner here.” Rafe answered before I could even open my mouth. “I’m sure you’re starving by now, right?”

“Uh… yeah.” I whispered, shedding my jacket and sitting on the couch.

“What do you want?”

“What would you recommend?” I asked, truly unsure of what I wanted.

“Jack back there makes this roasted garlic chicken with vegetables that’s just… magic.” He chef’s kissed the air and I widened my eyes with a giggle, sitting back in my seat. I’d never seen Rafe so expressive.

“Well then I’ll have that!” I smiled. I watched him grin as he began loosening his tie, undoing a few buttons and rolling up the sleeves of his collared shirt, putting in an order for a seasoned fish and potatoes.

“Very good, sir. May I get the two of you started on drinks?”the stewardess asked.

“Chateau Margaux Red, in a chilled glass please.” He answered, opening and reaching into his briefcase to pull out a few folders and a pen. Then she turned to me.

“And for you, miss?” She asked with a kind smile.

“Um…. whiskey?” I answered vaguely.

“Is there a brand you prefer?”

“Um….. no. I usually just order whiskey and I get... whiskey.” I giggled nervously, scratching my head. In the corner of my eye, I could see Rafe smile a little, his shoulders bouncing from a light chuckle.

“Get her a glass of Glenfiddich.”He said and the two nodded at each other in agreement.

“Two glasses…. maybe three.” I corrected him and he laughed again.

“Yes,ma’am. I’ll be back shortly. We should be in the air in about 10 minutes.” She told us as she gave me a smile. I returned it and sat back on the couch, my fingers tapping on the arm. I was nervous about flying, I’d never flown before. But I couldn’t let him know that.

“You okay?” He asked suddenly.

“Yeah…. just… really want a cigarette…”

“Hmph. I didn’t know you smoked.” He said casually.

“Uh yeah…. I’m tryin’ to quit.” I mumbled.

“Well good. That shit does fuck all for your lungs anyway.” He said and I nodded with a smile. He just kept on surprising me. Ever since we left the office, it was like he’d become a different person. I’d never heard him swear so much leisurely. “So um, I still have a bit of work to do before we touchdown in Italy. I’m gonna have my earpiece in so—”

“Of course! I can be quiet.” I chimed. He just chuckled.

“After dinner, Lyric.” He smiled.

“I knew that.” I mumbled in embarrassment.

Just as the stewardess said, we were in the air in no time and starting our flight to Rome. We held a light conversation over dinner, sort of like an ice breaker. Contrary to what I originally thought, he was actually kind of funny. Or “punny” rather. We talked about work, people in the office, how he couldn’t stand his meetings with certain people and we had a list of them that we both agreed were the absolute worst people; for similar reasons too. Afterwards, he delved into his work and I curled up on the couch, playing a few games on my phone as I listened to music, continuously drinking glasses of whiskey until I couldn’t feel my face. I couldn’t help but take a few glances at him as he worked though. The veins in his forearms that bulged as he scribbled on papers and the sharp angle of his jaw as he threw his head back when he was exhausted or frustrated was hypnotizing to say the least. The muscles in his chest making themselves present beneath his collared shirt and vest, the few strands of hair that tended to fall out of place by the end of the workday, his striking green eyes… ‘Stop it, Ricki. It’s Rafe. It’s your boss. You shouldn’t look at him that way…. Why are you even looking at him that way?!’ I thought suddenly. I scoffed and turned my phone off to close my eyes; maybe I could get a nap in somewhere on this flight. Before I knew it, the warmth of the food in my stomach, the low vibrations of the plane, and the comfort of the couch paired with the multiple drinks I had seemed to be enough to send me to sleep. Then I began dreaming…

I was in the office. It was after hours by the looks of things. When I turned in my seat, the workroom was empty, all the desk lamps were on and I was the only one there. Looking down, I was dressed in a simple white collared shirt and a pencil skirt that seemed to be a tad shorter and tighter than normal. But it didn’t phase me one bit. Hard rock music played off of my speaker rather loudly and there was an unfinished email typed up on the computer before me. I sighed and turned around to continue working when I heard Rafe’s voice calling me. “Ms. Lewis, I need your assistance please!” He yelled. Like always, I groaned loudly and went stomping towards his office. When I walked in, he was sitting behind his desk with his legs kicked up on the edge. His hair was disheveled as I secretly realized I liked, the buttons on his vest undone and his tie loosened, the cuffs of his sleeves rolled off of his wrists displaying a fancy watch. I leaned into the doorway and placed a hand on my hip with a touch of attitude.

“What do you want, Rafe?” I asked, completely out of character. If I ever answered him like that for real, I would probably be fired. But instead of yelling, he just let his eyes run over my body, biting his lip with intrigue. I cocked my brow and crossed my arms, tapping my foot impatiently as a devious smile flashed across his face. My heart skipped a beat as he took his feet off the desk and turned his attention to his computer.

“I’m having a bit of trouble getting this PDF to open. Would you mind…?” He asked me. I blinked at him a moment and sighed.

“Yeah. Seeing as I have to do everything else for you.” I replied in annoyance. I started over to his desk and he moved out of the way. Not necessarily standing up, more like just rolled his chair away from the computer. I leaned over as he rested his head in his hand on the desk, so obviously gawking at me as I typed away. Suddenly, he reached out and pushed a lock of hair over my ear, his finger stroking my jaw and his hand running over my shoulder then down my back. His touch caused a stir in me and I let out a shaky sigh but I continued to work. The file wouldn’t open. It didn’t make any sense. I did what I would’ve done on my own computer. I opted to try again.

“What is it that Samuel has that I don’t?” He asked me suddenly, his hand rubbing circles at the small of my back. I was taken aback and snapped my head to stare at him. The look on his eyes was something hungry and needy; like he was trying to hold back from doing something.

“I… um—”

“What can he give you… that I can’t?” He asked, his hand slipping past my hips and over the rounds of my ass. My heart began to race as his fingers traced down the back of my leg. I almost went weak when he graced over the sensitive spot just above the back of my knee. His touch was so electrifying that I could barely think. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he watched my reactions carefully.

“He… I don’t—”

“You don’t even know do you?” He seemed to smirk as his fingers ghosted over my inner thigh, slipping by the split in my skirt a bit. He gripped onto my thigh tightly and as he stood, his fingers brushed over my clothed clit. “Do you even want him? Hm?” He breathed into my ear, pulling my hair off of my neck and letting his nose trace my jawline. I had forgotten what I was even doing in his office to begin with since he started touching me. I took a slow and deep breath as his cold lips pressed against the warm skin of my neck. I closed my eyes with a shiver as he began massaging my through my panties. “Answer me, Lyric.” He demanded, slapping my ass rather harshly. I gasped from the contact and my hands began to shake in excitement.

“Rafe, I—”

“Mr. Adler…” he corrected me.

“Mr. Adler, I don’t know what you mean…” I sighed.

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you. The way you look at him… Why don’t you look at me that way, huh?” He asked, lifting my skirt as he stood behind me, running his hands over my ass gently. “Do you have any idea what you do to me, Ms. Lewis?” He groaned as he pressed himself against me, his hands now firm on my hips as he pulled me close to feel his growing hard-on. As he ran his hand up my spine, I felt my back arch for him. He continued to spank me until my cheeks turned red and the cool touch of his fingertips eased the pain. His fingers hooked around the hem of my panties and yanked them down my legs. He used his foot to kick my legs apart and carefully scooped up and handful of my hair, pulling on it a bit. He ran a chilling finger up my slick cunt and licked his fingers for a taste. He moaned in my ear as I let out shallow breaths.

“Just as I thought. You taste delicious…” He said and he continued to stroke my wetness until I was all worked up and began to finger me roughly. I was left groaning in need.

“Mr. Adler… please…” I whimpered, his fingers diving in and out of me.

“What’s that, sweetheart?” He asked in a deep alluring tone.

“Please fuck me—”

“Please fuck me, who?”

“Mr. Adler! Please fuck me, please!” I cried out. With a frustrated grunt, he pushed everything off of his desk, not caring about the mess and laid me down. He undid my blouse and cupped my breasts, leaving sloppy kisses all over my chest and he undid his belt. I didn’t see it but boy could I feel it as he entered me. He sucked on my nipples a while as I got used to his size and his hand travelled up to my neck, squeezing lightly as he began to move. He kept it slow, drawing out the feeling of my clit dragging along his length. I couldn’t keep myself from whining as he rolled into me.

“Fuck me harder.” I said suddenly. “Please fuck me harder, Mr. Adler.” I moaned, staring him right in the eyes. He gave an almost evil chuckle as he removed his tie from his neck and wrapped it around my wrists tightly, pushing my arms above my head. He hiked up my legs to wrap them around his waist and he began to drive into me. He hovered over me, staring into my eyes with so much lust and want as I squealed and moaned beneath him. He alternated between slow and fast paced, ramming into me until I felt myself beginning to come undone.

“Keep it up and you’re going to make me cum, Lyric.” He growled through his teeth, resting his forehead against mine with a satisfied lightly dimpled smile. And it was a damn gorgeous one at that.

“Cum in me. I want you to…” I shuddered. He laughed tiredly, cupping my cheeks with his surprisingly soft hands and kissing me deeply.

“Whatever you want…” He said darkly, his hand dragging from my cheek to my neck again. And this time he used both hands to choke me gently. He snapped his hips into me repeatedly, tears beginning to well in my eyes as I started to see stars.

“I’m gonna… I—” Just as I was about to release—

I felt a hand run down my shoulder, gently shaking me awake. When I opened my eyes, I was met with those striking greens and I gasped in embarrassment, moving away. Rafe has woken me up, sitting on the edge of the couch with a tired smile.

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you.” He said kindly as I sat up, a thick fabric falling off of my shoulders. He’d covered me with his jacket. My heart raced under his touch and I could feel my face burning as I looked into his eyes. “We’re about to land. I figured maybe you’d want to see the sky view.” He told me, pointing to the window behind my head. I turned my head to see a beautiful sunrise over what looked to be the Colosseum. I gasped and rose to my knees like a child to get a better look. All of the beautifully sculpted buildings and the bluest waters…

“This is amazing…” I said unknowingly.

“Wait until we actually get into the city.” He said in a soft tone of wonder similar to mine. I looked over at him and we shared a smile. This weekend was going to be an adventure for sure...

Full story on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26598127/chapters/64850665

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 150

It was difficult to tell what time it was when you woke up. Sometime well past morning, that was for sure. As awareness seeped back in, you became first vaguely and then very knowingly aware of Tony still dreaming away next to you. Turning on your side, as gently as possible, it became a very tough call whether to stay there and fall back asleep with him or… 

Well. You stayed. For a few moments. Admiring the peacefulness just rolling off of him. Moments like these were so rare. Maybe, if you were lucky, you’d be able to just return to it. But in your overt carefulness in not waking him up, sliding off to the side in small increments so as to not shift the weight of the bed, and then… sticking one leg out onto the floor and… then the other… 

Almost in the clear. Until very quickly you were reminded you’d had sex (...more extremely passionate love making than anything, for sure) all night in heels, fallen asleep in heels- still were in heels, and your underwear still wrapped around one of those long points caught up your other foot as you tried to move. After that it was all over. You went down in a weak-kneed mess (maybe last night a little to blame, as well) with a very undignified yelp. 

From your spot on the floor you saw Tony shoot up, suddenly very awake and very nervous. He looked the other way first, and you had a real chance to make your position a little less terrible. But… as he turned the other way and spotted you in your heap on the floor, his sleepy grin turned sunny and he crawled to the other side closest to you, lying flat with his arm dangling over the edge. “You alright there, honey?” A genuine question while also being somewhat amused. 

“Nothing hurt but my pride.” Having to sweep up said feelings as you made extra sure of all your limbs and then stood again, stretching out the new kinks in your muscles. 

His sudden stare was felt. “An easy fix.” A warm intimate air hit the room rather quickly, and when you stopped limbering up, you caught his gaze. “You know… that’s a very good look on you. I think you should wear it more often.” No shame as he fully admired the sight in front of him.

Just you in heels. Hm. You could only imagine. Both the thought and the way he was looking at you pooled a slight heat to your cheeks- if there hadn’t already been one after being caught in your fall. A different sort of heat, though. “Knock it off.” Waving a dismissive hand at him and then turning around. 

“Do you really want me to?” A great question.

And the obvious answer was no, of course not. But instead of giving in to him, you turned that little wave into more of a hook. “What I’d really like for you to do is follow me into the shower. Please.” Half turning to look at him over your shoulder. 

“Gladly.” Eager as ever, as he shifted the covers aside and got out of bed with much more ease than you had. “...are you gonna wear the heels in there?” 

“I’m gonna roll up a newspaper and smack you, is what I’m gonna do.” 

“Okay, but I’d like you to answer the question, too.” 

The two of you were left in a battle of smiles before making haste off to a steamy shower. 

                                                             ---

On your fourth day in Paris, you and Tony got up early. Walked along the Seine river just as the sun was coming up. Around nine AM, the two of you got back to the hotel. The breeze on the balcony as you sat was warm. At nine-thirty, Tony emerged from the penthouse kitchen with two perfectly brewed and prepared cups of coffee. He sat beside you, watching the passers-by on the streets below. 

And then. At nine-forty-three, everything stopped. Or rather, perhaps everything started again. 

His phone vibrated in his pocket, which was a huge vacation no-no, but the pattern of the vibration was telling. And when he pretended to ignore it, sorry look on his face, JARVIS spoke anyway. “Sir, ma’am. I am sorry. I know you are both on a do-not-disturb protocol.” 

Tony picked his phone up out of his pocket and held it up with a very dissatisfied look on his face. “Then continue do-not-disturbing, JARVIS.” 

Ignoring him completely, JARVIS continued. “I have received an Avengers Priority One signal from Ms. Romanoff. Shall I put her through?” 

You and Tony looked at each other for perhaps too long a time. But eventually you put your cup of coffee down, and let your gaze drift lower, too. Disappointed. Deeply. He sighed. “You already know the answer to that, seeing as you broke protocol.” 

“My hierarchy orders are very clear-” 

“JARVIS. Just put her through.”

Tony was annoyed. You were upset. JARVIS had been trying to defend himself, or maybe protest that he wasn’t the one at fault here. He was just a program. It wasn’t his fault. No. It was that your personal life took a backseat to superheroing. And that was just the way it was. Whether you liked it or not. And you very much didn’t. 

Though a video screen went up on hologram, only Nat’s voice came through. “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t bother you if it wasn’t important. I already called the others. But the both of you are closer.” 

This wasn’t Natasha’s fault, either. Everyone seemed to feel like they were putting you out. But it was just the world you lived in. You shook your head, even though she couldn’t see it. “It’s fine, Nat.” It wasn’t. But that was neither here nor there anymore. “What’s going on?” She must have had something serious happen. Most anything she could take on by herself. So if she was calling you...

“I hijacked some Hydra higher-up’s personal jet. I’m headed into Port Sudan to meet up with one of their top scientists and her three-hundred or so Hydra army. Armed to the teeth with powered Chitauri-Hydra hybrid weaponry. She was supposed to be demoing a new big weapon today. I thought we’d drop in.” 

Tony sat back a little, resting one leg up on the other, putting a hand on his knee. “This the base we’ve been looking for?” You felt like you already knew the answer to this. But if it had been a yes, at least that would have made the bothering worth it. 

But of course… “No. No gamma outputs in that sector. Bruce has something promising, he said. But we can deal with it after this. I’ll drop you coordinates and we can gather. Have a little fun before the rest of the cavalry finds their way here.” 

She wasn’t asking permission. She wasn’t asking if you wanted to do this. This was a mission, and you’d do it whether you liked it or not. You’d only had four days- barely- alone with Tony. And already… You tried not to let the tone of your voice slip in a way that would take it out on her. “We’ll see you soon, Nat.” 

“Copy that.” 

Reaching up, Tony flicked the screen out of the air, ending the call. The coordinates dropped in another chirp literal seconds later, but neither of you looked at them. You were busy looking at each other. He looked just as unhappy. “We go, clean up, and come back. Don’t even have to check out.” A little too optimistic about this. 

This. This right here was the life you knew the two of you were destined to live. Forever. Scraping for teeny-tiny moments in time with each other before duty called the both of you to the battlefield again. There was a pit in your stomach, and a sure knowledge in your heart. “Let’s check out anyway. Just in case.” 

She had said Bruce had some information. Since she’d called all Avengers, he and Tony would link up. And that would be it. Much as Tony seemed sad about these developments, and as much as you did believe he wanted to do the superhero thing as quickly as possible and return to pretending the two of you could have a life… it wasn’t what was really going to happen. You knew that. 

And making him accept it… that was tougher. Because he really just turned this terrible shade of blue. He’d been trying to make all these promises to you, maybe even to himself. About some grand life where this wouldn’t happen. It hadn’t even been a week before reality had crept back in and made him an unwitting liar. 

“Sure, honey. Just in case.” 

                                                            ---

You had LUNA put the suit into auto-pilot once the coordinates were loaded in. The rest of your immediate attention was put into reading the mission briefing that Natasha had sent. The Avengers were a couple hours behind the both of you, and with the suits, you and Tony would make it there relatively quickly- at least a lot quicker than the rest of the team currently over the ocean in the quinjet. 

It was the whole reason she’d called. Maybe if you’d vacationed somewhere further away than the team…

A useless, petulant thought. One that annoyed you more than anything. This was your duty. You had to see it through. Not the least of which because Natasha could be in trouble. She was facing what sounded like a literal army all on her own. She needed backup. You were Avengers. This was your job. 

Dr. Delora Jensen. An angry looking woman with a tight lipped smile and even tighter drawn back black hair in her profile picture. One of the rats that had escaped the so-called sinking ship. And the more of them you dug up, the more you started to feel like the whole exposing of both teams hadn’t been worth it in the end. There just seemed to be so many of them. Endlessly. When would they all be caught? When would they all die out? 

She’d been transported to several hotspots. It may have very well been that the Avengers had been on her tail the whole time. She was one of the brilliant minds capable of salvaging the Chitauri weaponry left over from the war and making it into formidable weapons. ...well, not was anymore, seeing as Nat knew she was doing a weapons demonstration later today. One of your favorite things. There was no telling how dangerous she was. Or her army. 

Natasha had apprehended two Hydra higher-ups who were scheduled to see what she’d made a breakthrough on. So that was two less to worry about. Two out of a whole army and one mad scientist… and you could have been ignorant to the whole thing on a sunny balcony in Paris. 

“You still going over the notes?” Tony asked this already knowing, for sure, that you’d finished some time ago. Really, what he was asking, was what you were thinking about now. And if you wanted to talk. 

“No.” Your clipped response got a wince from you. This was in absolutely no way Tony’s fault. It just was. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“It’s not okay.” You didn’t want to become another Jessica Jones. Weary of the world and its ills. Pushing everyone away. Tony didn’t deserve that. You didn’t want to be that person. “I just… I wanted more time. To pretend we were normal.” It wasn’t like you needed to tell him. 

He felt the same way. A soft pang knocked at your heart. Light sadness. Yes. The both of you desperately wanted a life. ...you also desperately didn’t want to have that conversation again so soon. Even if you had more evidence to your cause now. You didn’t want to be right. You wanted him to be right. To prove you wrong. 

Yet there the both of you were. In your Iron armors. Flying to take out a Hydra nest while you were supposed to be on vacation. You’d murdered a mind-controlling villain not even a week ago. Tony had been shot in the crossfire maybe a week ago. Yet there the both of you were. Charging into battle again, so soon. 

How did it end up like this? 

“Yeah. Me, too.” His resignation probably hurt the most. 

                                                            ---

Natasha had commandeered an abandoned watchtower a mile out from the base. From what it looked like, they’d removed whatever operation had been hiding out there and moved in fairly quickly. Their perimeters were tight. Soldiers were patrolling the compound- several large warehouses with about five tanks spaced out between buildings. It was a little after 11AM when you and Tony marked her location and dropped in on a slow descent. JARVIS and LUNA did their jobs watching the blind spots so the both of you could get in undetected. 

“LUNA get me a headcount.” “Yes, ma’am.” 

Deactivating the helmet, you came over to Nat’s side as she was half leaned on the edge of the open wall frame. “You guys made good time.” 

Tony took up her other side. “That’s why you called us, if I remember correctly.” 

LUNA got back to you, “There are three-hundred-and-twenty bodies on the property, ma’am.” 

Natasha gave a little shrug with half a grin. “I was pretty close.” 

You couldn’t help your annoyance. “Where are they all coming from?” 

Crossing her arms she gave you one of those coy looks. “Well, you know what they say… chop off one head and… blahblahblah…” 

“Blahblahblah is right.” Tony was a little more than miffed. “You figure a plan of attack yet or do you need us to find a soft spot? We need to get moving.” 

She moved out of her stance, placing a hand on her hip. “You don’t wanna wait for everyone else?” 

You just gave her a look. “If you wanted to wait for them, you wouldn’t have called us.” Though you did manage a light smile. This wasn’t her fault, either. There was no need to get rude with her. 

“You’re right. I like this a lot better. No need for a discussion. Just right down to business.” Turning back towards the open wall, she put her hands on it and then perched herself up on the ledge. “Shall we?” 

Although you also were extremely keen to start and finish this as soon as possible, it wasn’t really too smart to just charge into battle without a formation plan. “Tony and I will start with the tanks and draw fire.” There was no way the two of you could head in unseen any closer than this. “It’s unlikely they have commanders sitting inside them. While we draw their fire, you charge on the rush-up and we’ll meet somewhere in the middle.” 

Tony made a little clucking noise. “Any read on this big Chitauri weapon the doc’s got cooking up?” Oh. Right. That. That probably was a problem to consider. 

Natasha grinned. “We came for a show, didn’t we? Let’s see it up close for ourselves. I’m sure you’ll have a few pointers for her.” And with that she backflipped off the edge and then caught herself on the railing and made her way down to the ground. 

As the two of you looked after her, Tony turned to you with a raise of his hand. “You know, I’m beginning to think everyone on this team has a diva streak.” 

At this you couldn’t help the little snort, the fond roll of your eyes while you reached up to re-engage your helmet. You then put your hand on his shoulder. “Oh, honey. You’re not allowed to make that comment.” 

You jumped into action, taking flight on heavy thrusters, with Tony right behind you. Easily the both of you spread fast over Natasha’s location as she was still rushing up to the compound. There was no hiding the sound of two Iron suits heading Hydra’s way, and within moments the warning sirens started blaring and bodies started pouring out of the warehouses. 

Your HUD went into full combat display, ticking up body-counts and signatures, listing off all your energy outputs, keeping up with your two allies- and of course, a small window of Tony’s on the lower display. He was quick to pull out in front of you. “I’ve got the two on the right if you wanna take left. We can co-sign the center.” The tanks, he meant, and he quickly rolled off from his straight line to veer. 

“I’m on it!” Fully engaged now. Whether or not you wanted to be here (and you didn’t) was no longer a consideration. You were here. Guns were firing. People were trying to kill you. The battle was on. That was all that mattered. 

Tony had fired three times on the first tank he’d locked on to, with nothing much to show for it. “Shell’s are pretty tough on these things.” 

While you were busy dodging and weaving heavy gunfire, the lightbulb went off. “Let’s make like turtles then.” In a quick drop, you rolled out of the air and came to a landing hard on your feet. With both hands up, you fired a blast underneath one of the tanks, knocking it completely upside down. The explosion drew extra benefit when the radius knocked a few soldiers out of the way. With the underbelly exposed, you fired off a heavier concentrated shot. 

On your side, Tony mirrored your movements. “PETA would like to have a word.” 

Natasha’s voice perked up just as you flipped your second tank. “I’m closing in- and I really hope you don’t go around flipping turtles in your spare time.” The sound of her taking out a few combatants paired very nicely with your groan. 

“Let’s not spread rumors. Or PETA really will call me.” You’d just cleared your second tank. Tony was just starting in on his- and that’s when you noticed the turret on your shared middle turning towards him. “Tony you’ve got incoming!” Not quite enough of a warning, as it fired a weirdly colored energy blast at him. 

His grunt cut clear across the channel as his head knocked around while his suit spun out of control for a few seconds before he regained control. He was just starting to speak as you took off in a boosted sprint for the middle tank. “Watch those shots- they sap energy- JARVIS I know- think this is what the doctor had for show and tell?” 

“She’ll have to bring something else.” Hands poised you detonated an explosive right underneath the tank as it had just turned to fire on you, but you won out the quicker victor. However once it was knocked on its side, instead of delivering the finishing blow, you decided to let yourself get a little personal. With a vault up and over and then another landing just on the side you banged on the top. Probably glad he wasn’t about to die in a fiery explosion, the soldier inside threw open the lid with his hands up. One of which you promptly grabbed, yanking him clear out and tossing him several yards away into the desert. His screams faded into the distance. 

Honestly, how dare he. 

“Now, honey, that’s not very nice.” Tony was teasing. But you were a little beyond that. 

Holding your arm out to trigger your wrist projectiles you sent a few whistling into the cabin and slammed the lid shut again. Quickly you jumped into flight up and away as the entire thing blew from the inside. “I’ll try to go a little easier on them.” A saccharine lie with a smile to match aimed at his display window. 

JARVIS spoke across the network. “The quinjet is approaching. Fifty miles out.” 

Natasha sounded only slightly out of breath. “So the cavalry arrives finally.” 

“More like backup. We’re pretty much finished here.” Tony’s tone was very dry. 

And maybe at this point all of you should have learned not to tempt the universe. Because just as the three of you had laid out half the army and the quinjet finally breached the vicinity, Dr. Jensen herself burst out of the leftmost compound, holding what looked like… well… some sort of backpack with a wide muzzled hose attached to both her arms. She aimed it up at the all too obvious target. And even more obvious than that was her war cry. “HAIL HYDRA!” 

The shot went off in a quick focused burst, hitting the bottom of the jet, sending it into a tailspin. This felt vaguely familiar. So much so that you broke formation from your teammates to- well- go get the rest of your teammates. Trying to zip underneath and dig your hands into the machinery to stop its fall, you struggled. “Who’s driving?!” 

Clint was the one that answered. “Well if that’s your welcome, we’ll just turn around.” 

The landing was rough but a lot less rough than a crash. It might also not have helped that you sort of shoved the jet off of you. Very suddenly it felt like you were choking. The air was thick. And familiar. 

And… 

Angry. 

Steve’s voice came first- “We’re in code green- I repeat- we’re in code-” 

About all he had time to say as Hulk ripped open the side door with a roar and jumped out overhead. Natasha sounded only marginally worried. “Guys, is that gonna be a problem?” 

Hulk was already dead center of the compound, ripping people apart. Thor stuck his head out of the hole in the jet. “We were called into battle. It seems more a solution than a problem.” 

Tony made a circle flyby, probably checking on you and the team without saying as much, and then zipped straight back after his rounds. “Let’s cut the chatter and get to work. Eyes on the doctor dual-wielding the vacuum cleaner.” 

Clint scoffed. “You’re one to talk.” 

Once the rest of the team had climbed out, you all gave each other a brief nod and rushed back into battle. Putting down the soldiers with the lesser weaponry wasn’t too much of a problem. Jensen became the main issue. The gun was much like the tanks, draining energy as much as it fired it back in quick, dangerous bursts. Which was a problem when she aimed it at both you and Tony- grounding the both of you in heaps while LUNA and JARVIS gave out several warnings. 

The team tried to converge on your location as she stood just over, and then fired on them, too. Frustration took up hot residence in your heart. “We have to circle around. You’ll never get her from the front!” The problem was her line of defense backing her. Willing to die just to keep her protected. 

She raised her weapons to fire on Steve. “Hydra now wields weapons of the gods! You’re no match for us!” 

Tony’s sarcasm projected out. “What is it with everyone thinking aliens are gods? When did this start? Thor? Got any ideas about this one, buddy?” 

He raised his hammer. “Just one!” And then brought it down, summoning a lightning strike at her. When she threw up her own hands to fire back, the energy that clashed caused a shockwave that threw everyone back. 

As Jensen stood, she aimed the weapon at Natasha next. “Like I said you fools- you’re no match for me.” 

The whiz of an arrow caught your audio feed. Almost imperceptible. Clint spoke just in time with her backpack imploding. “You know. I really doubt that.” 

She was thrown to the ground face first, shrieking- some parts terror but mostly just terrible pain. The team edged in on her in a tight circle. You were tired, more than anything. Though you did catch Natasha bumping Clint’s hip with hers. “Is that an I-owe-you? Or was that a repaid debt?” 

He shrugged. “I’ve lost count.” 

Looking up, Jensen started growling, fist beating on the concrete. “How… I had greater power than all of you…!” 

Tony held up his hand, repulsor charging. Only in warning, you were sure. Just in case she was thinking of trying anything else. “I think your math’s a little off on that one, doc. I’d be happy to double check your work. If you ask nicely.” 

Steve was panting as he laid a hand on his hip. The sound of metal screeching hit the air just as you put the good doctor in a nice pair of handcuffs. He made a vague gesture at Hulk, who was busy ripping up one of the warehouses. Literally. “Is someone gonna deal with that?” 

You let your shoulders lower. Really just tired. “He’s a person, you know. Not a that. And if you’re asking me-” 

Natasha cut you off. “I’ll go.” The team all turned towards her. A little… puzzled, to say the least. “We’ve been working together. I came up with code green, in case anyone cares to remember.” Said with such sureness yet flippant at the same time. Not waiting around for a chorus of questions or naysayers as she took off in his direction. 

...something strange was going on there. She used to be utterly terrified of Hulk. You remembered those feelings, in the helicarrier, a long time ago. And now… she was going to meet him head on. No backup. ...strange indeed.

Tony’s helmet slid back, so you removed your own, next. He laid a hand on your shoulder. “What’s the next move?” Asking you because… well… 

A deep sigh escaped you. “Bruce is gonna need to take some time to even out. I’ll get us some lodging. I know you and he have to talk about the next hit. I’ll call DC while I’m at it. Have them start carting this stuff off.” Work. Work came first. It always would. 

He nodded. Solemn. “Sounds like a plan.” 

It would have been easy to just tell the team to clean up. It would have been easy to run away again. 

But that wasn’t how this worked. It never would be.  At least you had the solace of winning a battle. It was just unfortunate it was never the war.

[writing-for-amusement]

Keep It Secret, 5

Summary:  Ever since your soulmate told you to stop writing on your skin because they didn’t want to communicate, you did as they asked even though it hurt your heart. During the first day of your new job as an “emergency woman” on a film set, you forget your notepad and planner, so you have to write on your skin. When you’re then called to the makeup trailer to deal with an emergency, you meet Zendaya Coleman, with your supply list on her wrist. You vow to keep your status as her soulmate a secret, even if it hurts, because all you want is for her to be happy. Even if it’s to your detriment.

A/N: Y’all aren’t ready for this, and I could not wait much longer, so here it is! Honestly, I am SO HAPPY with how it ended up. Also, I know it kinda reads like the end, but it isn’t. I’m totally going to expand on this whole thing, maybe as a sequel thing or as a straight continuation. ANYWAY I hope you enjoy this!

Taglists are still open and so are requests for my 150 follower celebration!!!

Disclaimer:  I do not know or claim to know Zendaya Coleman; I am essentially using her as a face/name claim to my fic idea. The same goes for the other people in this fic. That being said, I hope you like this!!!!!

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluffy fluff fluff, everyone has bad timing, like a lot of long dialogue wtf is wrong with me, lots of contact

Word Count: 2859

Permanent Taglist: @pparkerwrites, @jordyns-library, @natblidaclexa, @peterseuphoria, @lesbian-x-blackwidow, @beccaboo929, @softrdj, @icecoldban

KIS Taglist: @hailqueenconquer, @imaginerequestpage, @adventurousbooknerd

Chapter 5

“Right,” you bit your lip. “I was saying, well…”

“It’s okay,” Zendaya reassured you gently, as if sensing your nerves. “Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

You nodded and inhaled deeply. “We—”

“Hey, do you guys want some breakfast?” Jade asked as she popped her head out the door, looking straight at you.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Jade!” you exclaimed. “Back fucking timing, man!”

“Sorry, sorry!” she apologized quickly.

“And yes, I would love some pancakes!” you said in the same tone.

“I would as well,” Zendaya echoed.

“Okay, bye!” she chirped as she disappeared back into the house.

You sighed heavily and put your head in your hands. Here you were, about to finally bare your heart and soul to your soulmate, the soulmate that had told you they didn’t want anything to do with you, and fucking JADE was interrupting nonstop.

“Bad luck,” Zendaya muttered with amusement.

You sighed with more force and looked at her with an extremely exasperated face. “Yeah!” you agreed emphatically.

“Okay, don’t let it get to you,” she teased you. “Tell me.”

You nodded, taking some deep breaths to steel your nerves. For the first time in who knew how long, you were going to go with your heart and soul, not your mind.

It was terrifying.

“Zendaya, I… We’re…” you groaned in exasperation as the words wouldn’t leave your throat. You hung your head in defeat and decided to go about it in a more roundabout way. “I haven’t touched you, or let you touch me, because—”

Zendaya’s phone rang.

“Son of a bitch!” you swore, standing from the swing abruptly. You began to pace back and forth on the porch as Zendaya answered her phone.

“Hey, yeah, no, now is not a good time,” Zendaya was saying as you muttered curses while pacing. “No, this really is not a good time… I don’t give a fuck about what happened at your breakfast today, man, not right now… Yes, I’m with her right now. Yeah. Bye.”

You were stuck in that rut of swearing and pacing, running your hands through your hair as you practically wore through the stone of the porch.

A hand suddenly grabbed yours and you whirled around.

Zendaya was holding your hand in both of hers as you both felt like you were set on fire. It wasn’t a bad fire; in fact, it was warm and soft, like candlelight flickering over your bodies. All sorts of things went through your head as everything tingled and warmed and somehow buzzed at the same time.

Your soulmate’s jaw dropped. “We’re… soulmates?”

You felt a stab of fear in your chest, one that wasn’t yours, and you snatched your hand from hers, taking a few steps back and hitting the porch railing. Tears were starting to well in your eyes and you folded your arms over your stomach.

“I-I, I’m so sorry, I, I tried to keep it a secret, I knew that you didn’t want anything to do with your soulmate, with me as a soulmate, and I tried, I’m sorry—”

Zendaya was suddenly up and pressing her body against yours. Her hands came up to cradle your cheeks and before you knew it, her lips were pressed against yours.

You didn’t really know what to do. You hadn’t really kissed anyone before, not like this; it was always cheek kisses, or forehead kisses, since you were an affectionate person with your friends, or even occasionally your acting classes. A kiss like this was something you never thought you’d experience.

After several heartbeats of frozen panic, you let yourself melt into your soulmate and close your eyes. Zendaya pressed closer to you, moving one hand to cup the back of your neck. Still a bit unsure, you let your hands rest on her waist. When you finally felt a little more comfortable, and when she gently nibbled on your bottom lip, you pulled Zendaya even closer to you. A hum vibrated in your throat when Zendaya ran her thumb across your cheek.

Zendaya pulled away when both of you got short on air. She pressed her forehead to yours and you both tried to calm your breathing.

“Fuck,” she whispered, “it all makes sense now.”

You opened your eyes to see that hers were still closed. She looked… calm, at ease. You smiled gently to yourself, happy to see her so relaxed. Then, Zendaya opened her eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked in a whisper.

“I was afraid,” you murmured. Zendaya pulled back slightly and rubbed her thumbs across your cheekbones, making warmth flood your body. That worry was still there, though.

“Why?” her tone was tender and made your heart swell.

It seemed completely natural to take one of her hands in yours and lace your fingers together. She stepped back and sat on the porch swing; when you sat with a bit of space between you, not wanting to crowd her, she frowned and tugged you closer. Zendaya even went so far as to put her legs over yours and her arm on your shoulder. She leaned her head on her arm and watched your face closely.

All that touching made you realize how utterly touch starved you had been living your life. You felt like crying, almost, with how comforted the cuddling made you feel. You didn’t know that life could feel this comfortable.

“C’mon,” she urged you gently, “I can feel what you can, remember? Tell me why you didn’t want to tell me. It was the list, wasn’t it, that made you realize?”

You swallowed nervously, and you felt someone else’s adoration course through your veins. “What was that?” you asked nervously.

“You’re just,” Zendaya suddenly pressed a kiss to your cheek, “you’re always so calm and put together at work, and while all your nerves and anxiety are worrying… you’re so cute, you know? And now I get to tell you that!”

You chuckled lightly and felt your heart skip a bit as she traced a bit on your cheek. “Okay, so,” you inhaled again, feeling the shake of your lungs, “so, years ago, I thought that I didn’t even have a soulmate, y’know? I wrote notes to myself, or I’d draw on my arms and stuff, and there was nothing from anyone else. I kinda just… accepted that I didn’t have a soulmate. And then,” you laughed humorlessly, “I still remember the day I got a note back.”

Zendaya sucked in a harsh breath at your pain, your remembered pain that would occasionally wake you up at night. “Y/N,” she whispered softly, regretfully.

“That day, I was devastated. It went from the joy of knowing that I do have a soulmate, to the harsh pain that my soulmate didn’t want anything to do with me.” You worried your lip with your teeth and felt ready to carry on after Zendaya stroked your cheek gently. “I managed to, not get over it, but put it in a little spot in my brain that allowed me to focus on the rest of my life. I put it away, didn’t focus on it. The pain of it all would make me wake up at night, you know? I’d dream about it.”

“It’s okay,” Zendaya said as you hesitated, your throat tight. “Take your time.”

After a few more moments, you began again. “I’d dream about it and wake up in the middle of the night with this pain in my chest. But I’d calm down and go back to sleep, because I knew that it was what my soulmate wanted. All I wanted was for my soulmate to be happy, to not be inconvenienced by me.

“I went through college, just doing my best, throwing myself into my studies like I always did. I interned, had all sorts of jobs, graduated with this wonderful job set up. And then, my first day on set, things went a bit sideways, because my alarm wasn’t set at the right time. I somehow left everything I needed at the house. There were no note pads at work, nothing. So, I had to write what I needed on my arm.” You had started to zone out, remembering all the emotions you had with vivid clarity.

“I went to the next spot I was needed, and I saw you. I’ve always admired you,” you admitted a bit shyly, “but I managed to keep my cool. Then I saw the problem, and your reaction to what happened. You were irritated, visibly, and worried that your livelihood would be jeopardized. I don’t know how I managed it, but I didn’t break, I didn’t freak out, instead I left the trailer and scrubbed it off my arm. I went on with the rest of the day.

“Anytime I saw you, all I wanted,” your voice broke slightly, “all I wanted was to hold your hand and be with you. And you, you were so nice, you called me gorgeous and a queen, and said you wanted to get to know me.”

“Because you are gorgeous,” Zendaya interrupted you softly.

You shook your head with a small laugh. “I made this mantra in my head, to keep myself from telling you. I’d repeat, ‘it’s what she wants’ over and over again. Because I knew, I knew that you didn’t want me, not as a soulmate. The first few days were so hard; I was battling my soul that begged me to tell you, and my brain that told me you wanted nothing to do with a soulmate, and my heart that wanted you to be happy even at my own expense. It was rough.

“Every day was just this aching sort of pain. I wanted to be around you, and the fact that you wanted to be around me, made it even worse. I kept that mantra, all day, all the time. I put this painful distance between us. Every inch was torture for me, because I knew what we are, and you didn’t, you couldn’t. I’ve had that mantra ever since then, and I’ve planned on keeping it forever. Because all I want is for you to be happy,” you breathed out the last part, now realizing that there were a few hot tears down your cheeks.

Zendaya’s heart seemed to be pounding, or was it yours?

“I’m so sorry,” she finally said, and you looked at her. There were tears pooling in her eyes and you immediately went into a panic.

“Oh, no, Zendaya, I’m so sorry, you shouldn’t be sorry, I’m—”

“No, I should be,” she interrupted with a no-nonsense edge to her voice. “I wrote that to you with no explanation, no follow up. I remember writing that message; I was doing makeup for a shoot, and they were having so many issues with covering that writing, that I finally snapped. I wrote that so angrily, full of so much disdain that my soulmate was causing me. I didn’t even consider that my soulmate could think that they didn’t have a soulmate.

“I should have. That was selfish of me, to not consider my other half’s feelings because I was so frustrated. I had been irritated about the writing before, but this time, I was done. I should have considered what you were feeling, especially because you’re my soulmate. That was incredibly selfish of me, and I’m sorry.

“I can’t change what I did,” she continued, seeming to be resolved. “I can’t take away that pain you felt. And God, Y/N, feeling that pain? How did you live with it?”

You blew breath out of your nose as you thought. “I just told myself that you didn’t want me, that there was nothing I could do about it, and that I couldn’t just wallow about in my pain. I dealt with it when it popped up, and then I pushed it away. It was all I could do to live my life.”

“You thought that I didn’t want my soulmate,” Zendaya began.

“I still think that,” you admittedly quietly, almost shrinking into yourself.

“Oh, Y/N,” you felt her heartbreak at that sentence and immediately regretted saying it. “It’s not that at all. I should have followed through with an explanation, but I didn’t. I can’t change that. But I can tell you the truth, the reality.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Zendaya,” you interrupted again. You looked at your hands, folded on top of her legs in your lap.

“I do,” she insisted. “No more interrupting, okay?” You nodded. “Good. It’s never been that I don’t want my soulmate. I do, I so desperately want my soulmate. But… being an actress, in such an appearance heavy field, covering those messages is so hard. As a kid, I was terrified of inconveniencing people on set. Seeing those makeup artists work so hard wracked me with anxiety. That’s why I snapped, because the worry got too much. But I want my soulmate, I do. I just wanted things to be easier without communicating. And they were.

“This were a bit duller, though,” she continued. “I felt a bit… lonely? There was always a sort of… ache in my chest. Just a hole. It was easy to ignore, to fill with friendships and work. When I met you, though,” Zendaya smiled and took one of your fiddling hands, “as soon as I saw you leaving that trailer, that hole was poof! Gone, away in the wind, as if it had never been there. I wanted to get to know you, to laugh with you. For some reason, I remember all I wanted to see that day was your smile.

“When I saw you walking that night, all I could think was that it was my chance. You were so cute, so nervous around me in a way that people generally aren’t. Like, not in a starstruck way. The first time you genuinely grinned at me, I felt my entire body relax. All I wanted was to be closer with you, and I couldn’t explain it. You already know about the touching thing and about how confused I’ve been by this infatuation spell you’ve put on me, and now I know why you were like that with the touching, and why you’re so captivating.

“I was afraid right after we touched because I remembered what I’d written all those years ago. I hurt you, so pointedly. I’m so guilty that I hurt such a wonderful, sweet, clever, amazing person, all because I refused to do any sort of explanation or follow up. My life was easier, and I considered that to be a win. But it was an empty win.

“Y/N, all I want now, is to be with you, to talk to you, to tell you what you mean to me. Because you mean so much already. You’ve genuinely been my last thought before I fall asleep for the past few weeks. Not my first thought when I wake up, because my first thought is always, ‘what the fuck time is it’, but nothing can stop that.”

You chuckled lightly, and she tilted your head towards her. You could see her sincerity, could feel her seriousness, in the depths of her eyes.

“Let me be with you,” she urged. “Please. I want to be with you, and I know you want that too. Let’s be together, as girlfriends, as soulmates. Let’s go on dates, and text, and write on our skin after hours and when I’m not filming. Let’s go through all the normal things we always would, but together, with the other. Let’s just be us, together, as us!”

You didn’t realize you were crying until she rubbed a tear from your cheek. Your chest was tight in the best of ways; your emotions were just soaring into the clouds. You were elated in ways you never had been. The happiness coursing through your veins and pounding in your heart was the most amazing feeling in the world.

“What do you say?” Zendaya prompted with a grin, because she knew the answer.

“Yes,” you breathed out, a relieved laugh leaving your body. “Let’s do it.”

Zendaya let out a whoop of excitement and basically threw herself onto you. It was difficult, of course, because she was already halfway on top of you. The woman was bursting with happy emotions and she peppered kisses onto your face. All her movements were making the swing move sporadically, and you were both laughing loudly.

“Is everything good?” Jade’s voice asked from the door.

Zendaya leaned back, the smile on her face infectious. “It’s great!” she chirped.

“Good!” Jade grinned. “C’mon, let’s eat.”

Zendaya managed to clamber off of you, but she held her hand out for you. You took it and felt the burst of happiness run from your heart, through your arm, to her hand, and up to her own heart.

You didn’t know what would come next, but you were with Zendaya. She was ready and willing to go through any problem as a team. You were truly prepared for anything now.

[elopez7228]

Scenic Route 37/47

Read on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268208/chapters/43229774 

Start over : https://elopez7228.tumblr.com/post/620919089893933056/scenic-route-0147

***

Eventually, Syed left the wheel to Saul. They were going on a sped of 150, and she hoped they would catch Rey before she hit California. The two of them had an advantage: they could switch off and take breaks. She didn’t stand a chance.

And of course the police were the least of her concerns. What were they going to do, give her a ticket? Even if they arrested her a call from Snoke would remedy that.

Leaving a message for Hux, she summarized their current situation.

“The girl changed cars—she’s probably in Kelsi’s Lincoln. I’ll text you the plates. She has an eight-hour head start, but you should still alert Nevada PD, I’m sure she’s on I-80. Best case, we get to her before Lovelock, worst case, before Reno. After that she could take any number of ways west, so we run the risk of losing her.”

Next, Syed decided to take advantage of the next eight hours on the road to have a little talk with Saul. It was time to test the waters. How much did he really know about Earth Soldiers, Rey, and Kylo?

After a few hours of careful conversation, she realized that he was still loyal to Kylo, but not immune to Hux or Snoke’s orders. The mission that they agreed on was to capture the girl and the dog, and retrieve the microchip. After all, that was Kylo’s mission too.

Syed kept the part about beating Kylo Ren’s ass to herself. Whatever happened, she could take care of that alone.

Suddenly, Saul slowed down.

“What are you doing?” Syed demanded, turning sharply in his direction.

“Road’s blocked. See the cones?”

“Shit.”

They were forced to take a detour via Wells, Nevada. It was 11 PM now, technically 10 PM because they had crossed into a different time zone.

Syed contemplated their surroundings in dismay. It was a soulless town: nothing but a truck stop, if the dozens of semis lining the immense casino parking lots were any indication. The neon signs to WIN BIG were the only things that illuminated the dark night like a lighthouse in the storm.

Worst of all, if Rey had actually made it through before the closures, she would be way ahead of them by now. Dammit!

The last vestiges of twilight remained, revealing the passing silhouettes of stray casino customers and other cars against the purple-tinged desert horizon. Syed gave an exasperated sigh, powerless.

“Hell, that’s it for tonight. Go ahead and park here. I’ll go find us a motel, you look for some food. We’ll meet back here.”

Saul disappeared into the crepuscular light, in the direction of an illuminated building across the street. Syed got out of the car to light a cigarette.

“BB8, heel!”

Her heart skipped a beat. No fucking way. As if in slow motion, the cigarette fell from her lips onto the pavement. Some thirty feet away, the now familiar sight of Rey was crossing the street, BB8 in tow. Syed could hardly breathe.

She glanced around, looking for a trap. Surely Kylo was with her, and the cops lurking behind...?

No, she was all alone.

Fuck. It was now or never. Time to strike in the dark while she least expected it.

Never taking her eyes off of the girl, Syed opened the car door and grabbed the gun in the glovebox, making sure to turn the safety off. Her fingers trembled, throat suddenly dry.

Silently, she took a few steps forward, eliminating the distance between them. She pointed the gun at the nape of Rey’s neck.

“Rey Jakku, if you scream, I shoot. If you run, I shoot. Turn around.”

Rey was stuck in Wells for the night. She would leave at dawn if the roads opened up again, maybe even earlier. There was nothing she could do besides force herself to rest in the few hours of downtime. She updated Leia, booked a room at the aptly placed Motel-6 on 6th Street, and proceeded to take a long, hot shower.

Then, sprawled our on the bed of her tiny motel room, she sent a text to Ben Solo.

Rey

Roads are blocked due to a fire. I’m stuck in Wells, NV. Will try to get out ASAP. How’s Syed?

*

Ben

She’s after you, and fast. She knows about the Lincoln, keep it out of sight. I’m on the way, an hour behind them. Be careful.

Hours passed. Rey slept, but just barely, jolting awake now and then at the slightest sound. She woke up hungry. BB8 begged for a walk.

Tugging on her shoes and jacket, she put a leash on BB8, leading her out of the room. A walk would do both of them some good.

Wells clearly hadn’t been built with pedestrians in mind. The streets were massive and lacking in sidewalks and crosswalks alike. Instead, the roads were bordered by strips of fencing, littered with dirty bits of glass and cigarette butts. It made for a terrible walk that must have been rough on BB8’s unprotected paws.

The garish neon signpost of a nearby casino caught Rey’s attention. It was getting late and Rey could use some caffeine. She could even spend her pocket change—a grand total of two dollars and a quarter—on the slot machines. It was practically a right of passage, what kind of person left Nevada without gambling away money at a casino?

BB8 yanked Rey forward, trying to sniff at a piece of rubbish that was out of reach.

“BB8, heel!” She scolded the dog.

BB8 gave a little yelp, obediently standing by Rey’s side again with a wag of her tail. Rey looked up at the nearest traffic light. It was green even though no cars were there. Given that it was getting dark, it would be better to wait for the red.

Suddenly, she heard a click as something pressed into the small of her back.

“Rey Jakku,” said a voice. That voice. The one from her nightmares, right behind her now. “If you scream, I shoot. If you run, I shoot. Turn around.”

It was Syed Ren.

She was going to die. Kylo had warned her to be careful. To keep out of the way. She should have stayed in her room. She just had to go out at the worst possible time, didn’t she? What a genius she was.

She turned around slowly, half-frozen in fear. Syed was recognizable even in the dark, pointing a gun at her.

Oddly, the first thing that she noticed was that she had never seen a gun from this close. It was the first time she had really seen one at all, not that she wouldn’t give anything to get out of this position.

“Syed. What do you want?”

“You know what I want, and you’re going to give it to me.”

Rey looked around. Where was everyone? The bystanders, the highway patrol, the cops? Why was this place suddenly so deserted?

“Really, you’re going to kill me here, in the middle of the street?” Her voice sounded feeble.

“And I wouldn’t even think twice. But first, I’m going to need that microchip. Hand it over.”

“I...”

Should she hand over the chip? Would it be better to die for the cause, one that wasn’t even hers? Rey’s eyes filled with tears. All this, and to what end? The bad guys won.

Suddenly, BB8’s leash was no longer in her grasp. BB was in full attack mode, her back arched and mouth twisted into a growl that bared teeth. She snarled, going straight for the target.

“What the fu—“ Syed exclaimed as the little orange dog charged at her, snapping at her calves.

A sharp pain pierced through one of her legs, as she stumbled back to escape the dog that was currently biting down on her. Rey latched on to Syed’s arm which was still holding the gun, remembering enough from the self-defense classes she had taken with Finn a lifetime ago to twist and pull, in an attempt to disarm her assailant.

The gun fell to the floor with a metallic scrape and Rey made sure to kick it away for good measure. But Syed tackled her to the ground, punching her in the face. Rey fell back, grimacing as she saw BB8 groan in response to a well-placed kick from Syed.

Syed clutched the dog by the back of her neck as she fashioned a noose from the long end of the leash and tied it to a nearby lamppost in order to strangle her. But Rey jumped to the rescue, grabbing Syed’s hair with both hands and tugging hard enough to make the woman lose her balance. BB8 whimpered pitifully, struggling to breath every time Syed pulled on the leash. She lay in a heap on the ground, panting and groaning softly.

Rey, who had tumbled to the ground with her opponent again, tried desperately to reach for BB8. But it was too late as Syed got up again and kicked her violently in the ribs.

She struggled to catch her breath, curling up into a fetal position and using her arms to protect her face from the blows. But Syed reached down and grabbed her by the collar, forcing her to look up. Her cheek was bruised where Syed had punched her earlier.

The Knight of Ren reached out with one hand, never letting go of Rey, to pick up the fallen gun that was still lying on the concrete. It hadn’t gotten very far.

Rey closed her eyes as she felt the cold press of the barrel under her chin.

“Where’s the chip, you filthy bitch?” Syed spat angrily.

In response, Rey gritted her teeth, swallowing despite the pain. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Her heart was beating fast enough to explode, it hurt to breathe.

“Where the hell did you hide it? Tell me or I shoot the dog!”

There was a slight click as the barrel turned to face BB8, who was curled into a helpless ball of orange fluff on the pavement, still gasping for air as she was tied to the post.

“No, no,” Rey rasped, afraid. “It’s...it’s in my bra, in the lining.”

Her nose was bleeding now. Little black dots danced in the corner of her vision. She didn’t have the right to die without seeing Finn again. He didn’t deserve to wake up from his coma just to find out that she had died, just because she had decided to go on their honeymoon alone and make bad decision after bad decision. He wouldn’t cope. It would kill him all over again.

“Hand it over, slowly.”

The barrel was shoved against Rey’s cheek this time, cold against her hot, bruised skin. She cried out in pain. She slowly raised her palms up to show that she had noting to hide. Her fingers slid against her left bra cup, feeling for a hard, rectangular piece of plastic tucked away in the satin lining. With trembling fingers, she pulled it out of the tiny incision in the fabric, which she had made a few days ago with the point of a pocket knife. She held it up to Syed, who snatched it away.

“Good girl,” Syed cooed, a wicked grin splitting her face. “All that trouble for this, Rey? You should’ve never interfered, and you should’ve never gotten involved with Kylo Ren, you little whore. Now get back of the floor and don’t move, I’m not done with you yet.”

Syed let Rey fall unceremoniously to the ground and walked away in the direction of a parked car. Rey tried to get up, but her head was spinning hard enough that instead she was overtaken by a wave of nausea. She turned around to throw up. Her stomach was so empty that only bile and saliva came out.

Soon Syed was back again, holding a canister that Rey didn’t immediately recognize.

“An eye for an eye, you brat.” Syed declared triumphantly, and Rey realized in horror that it was bear repellant.

The familiar click of a loaded gun made both of them turn their heads.

There stood Saul Ren, a to-go bag of mac n’ cheese in one hand and a pistol in the other. He aimed at Syed, who flinched.

“Saul, the fuck are you doing?”

“Give me the chip, bitch. I’m taking that shit to Snoke myself. I’m sure he’ll be happy to cash in and make me the leader. You and Skylar dropped the ball on this one, you fucking losers. Weapons on the ground, now!”

Syed put down her gun, as well as the bear spray. She didn’t understand.

“Where the seven hells is Skylar?”

“Right now? behind bars. While you two were fucking around on your smoke break, I used his phone to send a little something to Krennic, I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. That dumbass won’t be back. And now it’s your turn.”

“You backstabbing son of a bitch. I’m going to kill you.”

“Enough with the promises, Syed. Give me the microchip and turn around, hands behind your back.”

Syed obeyed, as Saul bound her hands together with a plastic zip tie. Rey saw him slip the microchip in one pocket and produce a roll of silver duct tape from the other.

Fuck.

He taped over Syed's mouth and shoved her roughly into the car.

Tires screeched against concrete as the SUV sped away, leaving Rey coughing in a cloud of fumes. Soon they were out of sight, and all was calm again.

Rey leaned back, head pounding against the dusty pavement. Her sobs were mixed with terror and relief. Everything hurt but the pain was glorious, because she knew that she had survived, that she was finally free. Syed and Skylar were gone. It was over.

It took her a long time to catch her breath and sit up.

Still on her knees, she shuffled to BB8’s and gently undid the knots in her leash.

The dog wriggled her way to freedom easily, lapping affectionately at Rey’s face. Rey cuddled her, scratching her head and belly.

“It’s okay puppy, it’s over.”

Rey checked for broken bones, but only found bruises. After her adrenaline levels fell, she could barely walk. She’d lost the microchip, after all this time.

Fifteen minutes later she was back in her room, still fully dressed and curled up on the bed. She had dozed, but a knock at the door woke her up immediately. Oh shit, Syed was back!

No, no, calm down. Syed was gone, taken away for good. It was probably nothing, unless?

Another knock.

Rey got up, wobbling slightly. She looked at the clock on the wall. It was 2 AM—no wait, 1 AM. Who the hell could it be, was she doomed to never sleep in peace again?

She opened to door to find Ben Solo standing on the other side.

[spongeekat]

Life as a Super Powered Omega Sucks (Chapter 2)

read on ao3

Masterlist Here

The hotel room they holed up in once they arrived in Russia was…to put it lightly, complete shit.

It made sense to send Peter, a young adult clearly not from the area, and Wade, a man with a very distinct appearance that could easily be used to identify him, to a location that would be lucky to have a working security camera. That didn’t mean Peter still wasn’t grossed out by the dusty front desk, or the rat he saw running around when he first entered the makeshift lobby. The process of checking in under fake names and swiping the card allocated by SHIELD seemed to stretch on forever.

Wade was conversing with the woman at the front desk in Russian that sounded fluent to his untrained ears, so Peter couldn’t follow along. He busied himself with drawing patterns into the floor, mimicking the path he would have to take in a few days time through the super-secret building no one would tell him anything about. He had more questions, wanting to make up for the time he was spacing it during the meeting, but only he and Wade were at this particular location over the next few nights.

Natasha had taken Clint and Bruce with her to stay with a trusted individual somewhere in the city. Mr Stark, Sam, and Steve were at a SHIELD location too classified for even Spider-Man and Deadpool to know about. Scott had apparently been sent to another run-down hotel. While his role in this portion of the mission was vital, he was being put on reserve until further notice. Peter was offered a spot with Natasha at the home, but it would have been too difficult to keep his identity under wraps, so he instead opted to stay in the same hotel as Wade- Which may or may not have been a mistake.

Eventually, the receptionist forked over two room keys, pointing off down the hall and relaying two numbers in Russian. Wade passed them to Peter, who flashed a polite smile, and started down the hall with their backpacks slung tightly. They searched the doors until they found 118 and 119, pausing just outside.

Wade fumbled with the cards, sticking one in each hand at random, and shoved his arms behind his back. “Pick one.” He teased, a surgical mask drawn up over his lips and his hoodie pulled tightly around his face. Peter had, of course, seen his skin over the 4 years they had known one another, but the mercenary was still sore about his appearance and preferred just to keep it concealed.

“I want this one.” Peter placed his palm against room 118, 119 having a suspicious red stain drawn over the carpet that looked like there had been attempts at shampooing it out for years. “Which arm is that?”

“Don’t take the fun out.” Wade whined.

Peter let out a groan and tapped Wade’s left arm. He produced both arms and opened his palms. Inside his left hand was the key to 119.  

“Sorry, baby boy. Better luck next ti-”

Peter swiped the key to 118 from his right hand and scanned it. The door clicked open, and Peter pushed it open with a smug grin.

Wade stood dumbfounded, watching the events unfold as if the devious younger man had stolen his first born. Finally he shut his mouth and straightened up, sliding his own card to gain access to his room. “I guess some people really do get everything they want. Just know, if I find bed bugs, I’m sleeping in your bed.”

“It can’t be any worse than your pigsty back in New York.”

“Hey! My pigsty has class.”

“Goodnight, Deadpool.”

Wade looked like he wanted to say something else, but decided against it and disappeared into his room. Peter quietly locked himself in his own, turning to face the small space he would call his for the next few nights, or however long this piece of intel gathering took. It was small, as he expected, barely the size of his bedroom back in his own apartment. There was a queen-sized bed stuck in the center of the room and a small, ancient television placed opposite on a dresser. The bathroom was mostly made up of a square shower and a toilet spanning on one wall, the toilet continuously running silently. It wasn’t terribly dirty, at least, as Mr Stark had been sure to book them the most expensive rooms, and paid extra to assure they got fresh sheets.

Peter wasn’t feeling the best, likely just plagued by nausea after the bumpy plane ride over, and he was more than ready to crawl into bed and catch up on the sleep he had missed.  It was somewhere around 3 or 4 AM here, which meant it was still dark outside for another hour or so. So the web-slinger pulled off his civilians, then his suit layered on underneath, and set them all in a neat pile in one of the dresser drawers. He didn’t remove his web-shooters, just in case, and pulled on the single pair of pajamas he had brought, before crawling under the covers that were way too light for the October morning. He soon found a comfortable sleeping position and closed his eyes. Anxiety over their crunched deadline was still bruising his brain,but he didn’t want to agonize about it now. All he could trust was that the skill of the group would make up for the difficulty of the mission, and they’d be in and out by the weekend.

*

Peter awoke shivering.

At first, in his dreary mind, he assumed it was due to the cold and wrapped himself tighter in the blankets to try to calm his tensing muscles.It took all of 10 seconds to realize he was instead overheating under the poor excuse of a comforter, the scratchy material making him increasingly uncomfortable. He opened his eyes to the sunlight filtering in through the curtains, temporarily blinding him.

The world seemed too bright, and Peter's skin felt clammy under his clothing. He forced his eyelids shut again to try to fall back asleep, his dreams seeming a lot more comfortable than the present. Minutes passed, and Peter was unable to slip back into slumber, but rather was noticing just how… unbearable the world was beginning to feel. His stomach hurt, feeling like he got punched in the gut and his organs rearranged, leaving an empty hole in the center of his abdomen. His senses, which were usually dialed up to 150%, now felt closer to 300%. Everything felt way too loud, from the birds chirping outside his window to the baby crying down the hall. The baby’s cries made Peter’s stomach tightened, and he noted, with sudden panic, that moisture had begun to form between his legs.

“Oh shit. ” Peter started out of bed, now acutely aware of the fact that his temperature was burning. His voice was breathy, the foundation of his vocal chords tighter than usual. “Shit shit, shit. Not now! It’s the first day!”

The poor young man tumbled from the bed, his feet caught in the sheets, as he stifled a cry of surprise when he hit the floor. He crawled the remaining distance to his backpack and tore it open. It was only Wednesday. His heat was almost always on time. Why did it come so early?

But then he smelled it- The alpha pheromones radiating from the room over. They were much easier to pinpoint now, stronger than they had been just the day before. Wade had pushed his body into heat, and Peter simultaneously wanted to beg for his attention and beat the shit out of him for it.

He realized he was spacing when another wave of heat started to wash over him, making him moan under his breath, jarring him from his thoughts. Peter ripped his clothes out and scattered them on the floor, locating his box of syringes and his vial of heat suppressants. He fiddled with the needles and tubes for a few minutes, his trembling hands making this task quite a bit more difficult, until he finally got the correct dosage and sunk the needle shaft into his thigh. Pressing on the plunger sent a cold liquid into his muscle, and once the barrel was empty he let the used syringe fall to the floor. Gradually, his muscles began to relax, and he could feel his breathing returning to normal.

It was fortunate that he had woken up just before his heat had entered full swing, but he couldn’t deny the entire room stunk of omega now. Peter managed to find his scent blockers and doused his fingers in the murky ointment, rubbing a generous amount over the scent glands under his ears. With the area now smelling a lot less like a panicked omega in heat, he set to work on  deodorizing the room. He cracked the window to air out the space, but kept the curtains drawn, to make his exact location unidentifiable if the wind didn’t carry his smell far enough. The sheets were pulled from the bed and thrown into the shower, doused with enough water that the slick left on them wouldn’t be terribly obvious. Next went his pajamas bottoms, but he kept the shirt and tucked it back in his bag. Somehow he was working diligently, while he was still recovering from the condition he was in not 10 minutes before.

Even so, Peter’s mind was definitely preoccupied on another issue. It was day 2 of their 5-14 day mission. He had packed enough heat suppressants to last him a week, but using them any longer than 3 days was considered dangerous. Not only that, but the longer he put off his heat, the harder it would hit when he let it come. He needed to find a length of time he was guaranteed to be away from the group, to ride it out, but finding an alpha to shorten it was completely out of the question.

He could possibly tell Mr. Stark to see if he could be temporarily sent home...but the risk of his identity being found out was too high, and he would likely be scolded for not being honest in the first place- Maybe even kicked off the Avengers for good. Dealing with health issues seemed like the most sound possibility.

For now, Peter just needed to get replacement sheets and ask the hotel staff if they had a spare candle he could borrow. Checking his clock, he’d only been asleep for 2 hours, which meant Wade might still be passed out. He prayed for that fact as he gathered up his sopping sheets and carried them down the grimy hall towards the lobby.

The receptionist was less than happy to see he had soiled them this quickly, the housekeeper even more annoyed looking, though they quickly changed their tune when Peter promised to leave a hefty tip if they kept the charge for new sheets off their bill and kept a clean supply for him throughout their stay. He left with a greyed out flat sheet and a topper with holes, but it was better than a slick-stained set, so he gratefully spread them out over his mattress and lit the candle on the dresser. Now calmer, he eventually managed to crawl back in the bed and attempt to get an extra few hours of rest, wanting to be ready at any moment whenever they needed him again. It took almost no time at all for his sleep-deprived form to pass out again, lulled into a much more restful dream now that his heat symptoms had been dealt with for the time being.

*

7 PM. It was 7 PM according to the clock plastered on the wall, they had already been in Russia for 17 hours, and Peter still hadn’t gotten a text back from Mr Stark or Steve on his burner phone. He wouldn’t have been so inherently frustrated by the radio silence if he was even sort of updated on plan, or if they were still mid mission. However, it was already growing dark outside, and Peter had been sitting tensely in wait for them to call on his help. The hotel room that was supposed to feel like a mini-vacation had started to seem more like a prison. The only plus side was that Peter had powered his way through one essay and two written assignments, leaving him with book readings that were too difficult to focus on when he was so anxious.

So he busied himself mindlessly watching some Russian soap opera on the poor quality TV, checking his texts every 2 minutes to be sure he didn’t miss any sort of an update. Still nothing, he determined as he flipped open the lid of his cheap pay-as-you-go cell.

Did they actually need him at all?

He was reeled from his thoughts by an insistent knocking- or rather, banging seemed to fit the sound better- obnoxiously from his door. Peter knew who it was before he had even made it halfway to the door, the thin walls giving him full access to unintelligible chattering transpiring from the mercenary’s conversation with himself. According to what Wade had told him in a fit of honesty, they were two voices he could hear clear as day, one a more honest version of himself, and one completely belonging to some ‘mad’ guy. Peter didn’t really understand it, but he had learned not to question matters that related to Wade unless it was required.

Peter clicking the deadbolt prompted a ‘ shuddup’ from the hallway, and then he opened the door to see Wade clad in a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts that covered way too little for the season. Peter drew his eyes slowly down the line of his body, and then back up to his grinning face half-hidden by a large-brimmed hat, looking unimpressed. “Festive.”

“I may have only heard the part about ‘vacationing’ and ‘Los Cabos.’” Wade returned with the same dumb expression trapped on his lips. “ Vamos a desnudarnos y tumbarnos en la arena. ”

“I don’t think they even said anything about vacationing.” Peter couldn’t help the smile working itself onto his face, trying his hardest to stay sullen but not doing a very good job at it. He ignored his dirty comment, leaning cooly up against the door frame. “So? What’s up? Why’d you come bother me?”

“I don’t know about you, sweetums, but I am absolutely starving. And I know you can out-eat me by a mile, so there’s no way you’re not going crazy with hunger cramps by now. Let’s go get food.”

The mention of cramps made Peter wince in memory that his heat was impending and he’d have to give himself another dose of suppressants in… about 6 hours, due to his quick metabolism, though it was perfectly timed with his stomach growling in response to the thought of food. He hadn’t eaten in almost a day, and it was definitely taking a toll on his body. Wade snickered triumphantly at Peter’s involuntary reaction, making heat crawl up his neck. “I guess I’m a little hungry.” He mumbled, shifting awkwardly on the balls of his feet. “I didn’t bring any money, though.”

“Lucky for you, Iron Dick gave me a wad of cash before we got off the plane.” Wade waved around an envelope presumably of Russian currency, as if they weren’t probably surrounded by criminals in other rooms keeping their heads low. “We passed by a cafe on the way in to the hotel, and I’m really craving some blinis right now. So hurry that tight ass up and grab your jacket so we can go.”

Peter really had no choice in the matter, and he had been desperately wanting to get out of the hotel room that had begun feeling way too cramped anyways. He hummed a resolved ‘mmkay’ and shut the door on Wade to give him the chance to get his stuff together. He also grabbed a jacket as suggested, not wanting to turn into a spider-sicle before he’d even gotten the chance to be a real part of the mission. He made sure to stuff an extra syringe in his pocket just in case, along with his burner phone on the off-chance someone decided to reply back, and shut his window tightly.

Most of the omega scent had been wafted out into the cold, and the candle had replaced it with a cheap smelling spice. Peter struggled not to remind himself of the fact he was going out with Wade, unmasked and vulnerable, before his anxiety could talk him into feeling awkward about the entire situation. He made his way back to the door, shut and locked it,and looked back up at Wade’s eager eyes. “So...what’s blini anyways?”

“Baby boy, I’m about to blow your mind wide open.”

Peter came to find out the town they were staying in was called Scherbinka, and it was a lot smaller than New York. About 266% smaller, if his math was right. The business fronts were colorful, compared to the overcast weather blanketing the night sky. Wade had noticed Peter was shaking through dinner- mostly due to the cold and somewhat due to his heat symptoms numbly pulsing through his body- and had blanketed him with his leather jacket that was twice his size. It hung loosely off his shoulders, but it kept him warm, especially on their walk back to the hotel.

“This city is kinda boring, huh?” Wade commented as he turned another alley, passing by rows of houses interrupted every so often by small businesses or motels. “They could have at least stuck us somewhere cooler. Like actually in Moscow? The escorts there are pretty cute.”

“You want to go to Moscow just for the hookers? Not the art or theatre?” Peter snorted, pulling the jacket just a little bit tighter around himself. The fall really had a bite to it, and the sun sinking behind the hills only accentuated the weather.

“Hey, sex work is a valid career, Pete. Back off, hater.” Wade stuck his hand obnoxiously in Peter’s face as he swatted it away, claiming his space again. “Anyways, I’ve been to Moscow for jobs like 6 times. I could give you a pretty good tour of the city; the good and the bad.”

“I’ll have to take you up on that offer some other time. If we went there now, you’d blow the whole thing.” Peter grinned, turning to look up at him.

“What do you mean? Also, don’t make me make a joke about blowing anything right now.” Wade gasped in dramatic hurt.

“You don’t exactly blend in.” Peter murmured, but he could see the edges of a disappointed frown dragging Wade’s lips down, and he self consciously pulled the brim of his large hat further down his face. “But that’s not a bad thing.” He rushed out, not wanting to give Wade the wrong idea. “Your tacky clothes and drama queen act fit you. You like being the center of attention.”

Wade instantly brightened, the hop returning to his step. “You got me there. That I do, sweetums, that I do.”  

They continued on their quiet walk through the suburbs, bumping into each other every so often with growing force to try to knock one another off the road. Peter couldn’t help his grin and a small laugh forcing its way up his throat when he nearly knocked Wade on his ass, but the man looked completely happy playing along.

“This is nice.” Wade blurted out suddenly, drawing Peter’s attention up to him.

“What?” Peter asked through his breathy snickering, watching Wade fix his shirt that had been coated with dust.

“Hanging out. With you.” Wade murmured, stretching and bringing his arms up above his head as his muscles pulsed. The action had Peter feeling like he was staring too long, so he forced his face forward and added a bit more focus in his steps. “Don’t get me wrong, angel, I love any time I get to bring you back to my apartment, but you only chill with me because of our other halves. It’s cool that we can just get dinner together, y’know? Nothing hanging over our heads or some evil mutant dude about to bust down the Empire State Building so you have to run off. Just two gal pals.”

“I never really thought about that.” Peter frowned, his eyebrows knitting in concentration. Now that Wade had mentioned it, they didn’t typically spend a whole lot of time together outside of ‘work.’ “I guess I just always considered us friends either way. You definitely bother me over text enough.”

Wade didn’t respond, and when Peter curiously glanced up at his face he saw a weird expression in place. Maybe embarrassment? It was a funny look on the otherwise cocky man, but he didn’t comment.

They walked a bit longer in silence, the street lamps lighting up their dirt path home, gravel crunching under their shoes, the cold biting at Peter’s nose and ears and turning them red. He briefly wondered if Wade experienced the same sensations, or if his healing factor gave him infinite body heat, before he heard him cough at his side.

“Thanks.” He finally croaked out, and that ended their heart to heart for the night the rest of the way to the hotel.

[mixed-imagination]

Something Borrowed (Pt. 1) - Steve Rogers x Reader (NEW version)

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I’ve decided to rewrite my series “Something Borrowed.” For a thorough explanation click HERE. I hope you enjoy!

Summary: You and Steve keep missing each other. When will it be your time?

Warnings: heartbreak lol

Word Count: 2.8+

Notes: My inspiration for this came from the movie Something Borrowed.

Song of the chapter: nagashi by Idealism

The night of the proposal was all a blur. When Steve got on one knee you couldn’t breathe; you couldn’t move.

Your eyes widened and your lips parted at the sight before you.  You were in such a shock that you couldn’t even tell if your heart had stopped or if it was pounding 150 beats per minute.   

How did this happen? How had you been so oblivious? You couldn’t wrap your head around it.

“I’m not going to lie. I’m actually kinda excited for tonight’s charity event,” Nat said as she stared into the mirror brushing blush on her cheeks.

“Really?” Wanda raised a brow, looking over her shoulder as she adjusted her earrings, “This is a first.”

Nat shrugged.

“It must be the dress.”

Nat’s eyes roll in response. She was wearing a long, black, off-shoulder gown that hugged her curves beautifully.

“What do you think, Y/N?” Wanda turns to you.

You plopped down on the edge of Nat’s bed, shuffling in your dress uncomfortably, “Um, I don’t know. Are you doing anything with Steve tonight?”

Wanda glanced at you, and you silently prayed she didn’t notice your hesitation when you mentioned Steve’s name. You knew she had never read your mind since she promised not to out of respect for your privacy, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t oblivious to your signs. Wanda somehow always knew when there was something up with you.

“One year anniversary today, right?” your heart cringed.

Nat nodded, smiling slightly, “Actually yes. I’ve never celebrated these types of things before---”

“You’ve never been in a relationship this long before!” Wanda laughs.

“Shut up.”

“So what’s happening Nat?” you asked curiously.

“I’m not sure. You know how old-school the big fossil is,” she chuckled, “He said it’s a surprise.”

“Think he’s gonna propose?” Wanda teased and nudged Nat’s arm.

“Wanda! It’s only been a year!”

She winked, “Who knows?”

“Ha! Imagine?” you all laughed.

“Yes!”

That shrill shriek that had resonated throughout the room was what made you snap out of your reverie.  You looked to the floor and slowly walked back through the applauding crowd, occasionally bumping into someone. You continued to step until you were sure you saw the backs of everybody. However, your back hit a hard being, and you knew it was someone you were familiar with.

You whipped your body around and your dress followed.

“Hello, missy. Where are you running off to?” he gave a crooked smile.

Normally, you would have wiped off that lopsided grin with a snide remark, but you were still at a loss for words; all you could mutter out was a nervous laugh and jumble of stuttered syllables.

“Ha! Tony!” your fake smile wavered, “Hey! Um, uh, I-I- what. T-Tony...” you kept darting your eyes to different objects around him in order to keep your tears at bay.

As soon as you spoke, Tony immediately knew something was wrong and took your hand to guide you away from the crowd. He led you onto the balcony and closed the doors behind him.  

You could feel your anxiety building; your breath gradually increased its pace.

“Hey, hey, hey Y/N, what’s wrong?” Tony placed his hands on both of your shoulders, which immediately made you lock into his eyes. “Are you okay? You should be happy, Cap’s getting married,” he gave a reassuring smile. However, as his eyes searched yours, you felt your eyebrows furrow and your cheeks tighten, and before you even realized it, you were crouching on the floor, finally shattering.

You cried loudly into your hands.  You didn’t realize how much you were hurting until this very moment. Before, you had been bottling up your feelings. Now, you were exploding with pain that demanded to be felt.

Tony crouched down to you and rubbed your back knowingly.  He sighed, “You’re in love with Steve, aren’t you?” You cried harder.

He had no idea.

When you first “met” Steve Rogers, he was frozen.  Being a scientist for SHIELD allowed you to examine him.  When you actually met him, at first it was awkward to see the defrosted Captain America, but eventually, you both got to know each other, becoming very close friends.

There was an obvious connection between you two, but you never really thought about it.  It wasn’t until he finally asked out a SHIELD agent named Sharon (after stupidly encouraging him) that you started realizing how you felt.

You had fallen for his oozing charm, his admirable generosity, and even his frustrating carelessness whenever he tried to be selfless. You loved when he smelt like shaving cream in the morning and whenever he threw his head back when he laughed.  You had grown strong feelings for him, and you didn’t like it.

During his relationship with Sharon, Steve fell head over heels for her, but she dumped him, and you picked up the pieces. You mended Steve’s broken heart and helped him move on, never revealing your feelings to him or to anyone.

Once you felt Steve was healed enough from his heartbreak, you planned on telling him, but somehow, unexpectedly, he fell for your best friend, Natasha.

You cried for what seemed like a long time but what was actually 10 minutes. Tony remained crouching next to you, rubbing your back and respectfully staying quiet.  Occasionally, you would hyperventilate, and he would shush you softly and tell you that everything was going to be okay.  Once your cries softened and turned into sniffles, Tony took your wrists and gently brought you back up to stand.  He didn’t want to take your hands because he knew that you wouldn’t want to reveal your tear-streaked face.

“Common darling, we don’t want to ruin your beautiful gown. You look like Jessica Rabbit in that red dress,” he smiled reassuringly.

The Avengers were holding a charity ball in the Stark tower to raise money for the countries where they’ve caused damage while on missions.  Like everyone else, you were wearing a gown; it was Natasha’s.  She had forced you to wear it in hopes of catching someone’s eye. How ironic.

Although it hurt to support your best friends’ relationship and you would never get in the way of their happiness, you couldn’t help but secretly fantasize Steve seeing you in your beautiful, red gown and falling for you.

But clearly, reality struck when Steve proposed to Nat out of nowhere.  It broke your heart but made you so angry.  You were mad at him. Why didn’t he tell you, the one he told everything to? But then again, you didn’t have the right to be mad when you failed to tell the two of your closest friends how you felt. You were mad at yourself. You knew you put yourself in this position.

You remembered what he said just a few days before~

“You think Sharon’s going to be at the ball?” Steve stared at the TV.

You raised a brow and chuckled, sitting next to him on the couch, “Umm, she most likely will. Scared to bump into her?”

He sighed and put his arm around you, “No, I have no reason to be. But Nat? She’s a different story.”  

You laugh and stuff your mouth with chips, “What do you mean?”

“If Nat spots her, well...” he cocked his head to the side.

“Wow, I’ve never known Nat to be the jealous type.”

“Um, well she isn’t, but she is.  She tries to be bigger by masking it, but even the world’s greatest spy can be prone to jealousy, Y/N.”

You smiled at the thought of Nat being jealous. She always had a tough exterior, but you knew she was secretly a romantic, yearning for a normal life. You were happy she was able to be vulnerable with not only you and Wanda but also with Steve.

“Also, it’s our one year anniversary that night.”

A pang of pain temporarily washed over you, “Oh yea? Any plans?”

It was always a bittersweet feeling.

Steve grinned, “Nothing special. Small surprise.”

You then remembered what he said 20 minutes before the party... and how you didn’t notice the signs~

You stepped out of the elevator and into Bucky’s complex.  You caught Steve fixated on his reflection in the window.  He was frantically touching up his tie, his gelled hair, or his suit.

“Aw, hey, handsome,” you smiled at how adorable Steve was, “Excited?”

He saw your figure in the window and turned to you.  He gave you a wide grin, looking at your appearance, “Y/N!”

“How do I look?” you picked up your gown and did a 360 turn.

He took in your appearance as you twirled once.  He gave you a toothy grin and stepped towards you, “What can I say, Y/N?”

“You like it?” you smiled.

A step closer.

“How could I not?”

Another step closer.

Your smile vanished as you noticed Steve’s face was now a couple of inches away from yours.  You could feel his breath, and it made you shiver internally. “You look absolutely gorgeous, Y/N. You always do.”

For a split second your eyes shifted away from his as your cheeks began to heat up.  Your smile returned as you looked back up at him.  You decided to be brave and stepped closer to him, reaching up to adjust his bow-tie, “You don’t look too bad yourself, Cap.”

To your disappointment, he turned away suddenly and looked back into the window. “Are you sure?” he ran his fingers through his hair.

You stepped away.

You noticed something was troubling him, “You okay, Steve?”

He glanced at you with a tight smile and turned back to his reflection, “Yea, yea. I’m fine. I just want tonight to be perfect.”

You raised a brow and chuckled, “It’s just a charity ball, Stevie.”

“Heh,” he finally turns to you and reaches out to brush a piece of hair behind your ear.

“There he goes again,” you thought, “making me fall harder with every little thing he does.”  

“I know, Y/N... just worried about the charity speech I have to make.”

Of course, you believed him... but little did you know…

“Hey, hey. Earth to Y/N?” Tony snapped his fingers, literally pulling you out of your daydream.  You had been staring off into space.

“You okay?”

Your eyes darted towards him as he put his hand on your shoulder. Your breathing became slow but deep. Your brain was trying to recollect itself, while you did what you did best: numb the pain.

“I don’t know.”

“You think you can hold up for the rest of the party?”

“I don’t--- I don’t know.” His questions were building up your anxiety again.

Tony let out a huff of air and looked around, “Okay, well, I’m sure that means no.” He raised his other hand up to his ear pressed into an earpiece you didn’t notice before, “F.R.I.D.A.Y prepare the elevator and make sure Y/N gets up to her room all right.”

He turned back to you and put both hands on your cheeks, rubbing your tears away, “It’ll be okay, Y/N, we’re going to get you to your room, and I’ll tell the girls to go find you.”

“No!” you exclaimed and turned your head at the sound of cheers and wine glasses clinking. Steve was holding up a glass, arm wrapped around Natasha’s waist.  He had been finishing up a toast. “Cheers!” He leaned down and kissed her.

Before you knew it, tears cascaded down to your red lips and you hiccuped, “Natasha can’t know.” You turned back to Tony, whose face looked at yours with sympathy.  There was no way Nat can find out about your feelings for Steve.  You already felt crushed with rejection and guilt over loving your best friend’s boyfriend.  If Nat found out, not only would you ruin the friendship, but you would break her heart.

Tony’s eyes searched yours, and his face told you his heart was hurting at the sight of you. He understood.

He pulled you in by your shoulders and tightly wrapped his arms around you, stroking your hair, “Oh, boy.”

The elevator ride was dreadfully quiet, but only because there was some unvocalized, mutual understanding between you and Tony.  He didn’t want to say anything stupid that made you feel worse, and you appreciated that. You had become so fragile to him that he just held you until your cries died down.

You had been clinging onto Tony for what seemed like a long time.  Your fingers dug into his suit jacket as if you were holding onto dear life... or really what you were holding onto was the last piece of hope you had of Steve ever loving you back.

The doors opened, and F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke, “Have a good night, Miss Y/N. I hope you feel better.” You sniffled out a chuckle, “Thanks Friday.”

“Oh my god, Y/N.” You whipped your head around to see Wanda getting up from your couch, “What happened? Tony said it was an emergency.”

Your bottom lip parted from your top lip slightly. You just stared up at her, not knowing what to say, “Why don’t you take a look for yourself?”

She approached you with her eyebrows furrowed as she examined your state, “Y/N, did someone hurt you?” She glared at Tony for an explanation, but he shrugged and zipped his lips.

Wanda searched your eyes but failed to find a hint of doubt in them. She was always adamant about not reading the minds of her peers, and she knew you knew that. Something serious must’ve happened.

You held your breath, swallowing down the ache that was building up in your chest. “Wanda,” you whispered, “Please.”

She sighed and hesitantly brought her palms up to your face. She wiped the drying tears with her thumbs and pushed stray hairs behind your ears. With one hand she twiddled her fingers and a red fluorescence manifested into your mind. You closed your eyes, watching your memories of Steve replay in your mind.

Suddenly, her eyes shot open in realization, revealing her bright red irises. She stared at you with disbelief, and her face contorted as she felt all the different emotions of your past memories with Steve.

“Y/N...” she removed her hand, “Why didn’t you tell me?..or Nat?”

You were trying to be numb, trying to bury the feelings, but looking at Wanda’s helpless face was about to send you over the edge. Your eyes began to sting, as your tears threatened to fall. You tried to ignore them by darting your gaze to the floor or different objects around your living room. But you failed. And she knew.

“Wanda,” you gave up.

You quickly embraced her and cried into her strawberry blonde hair.  This moment was different from when you cried with Tony.  This time, you yelled and thrashed about. Your voice was rash and you could barely breathe.  Once you saw Wanda’s face, the agonizing burn hit you so hard like a slap to the face.

Steve doesn’t love you, and he never will.  Steve is too good. He’s way too good for you.  You’re not worthy. He deserves and desires someone better, someone more like him, and that someone is your best friend, Natasha.

“I love him!” you howled. “I’m so sorry Wanda.”

“He doesn’t love me.”

“I’m a bad friend.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

This is what felt to get your heart broken. If you had just spoken up, maybe you wouldn’t be in this position.

The flashes of “what if’s” and the “imagine” scenarios were overbearing.  What if it was you instead? What if he proposed to you?  You imagined your life with him.  You saw yourself waking up to a sleepy, beautiful man, who radiated at the sight of you in your pajamas.  You imagined the first time intertwining your fingers through his, looking up into his eyes and wondering, “Where the hell have you been all my life?”

But you will never have that, and you will never have him.

Steve will never hold you, kiss you, or touch you.

He belongs to Natasha now.

HELLO! <3

I came up with what I think is a better outline for my “Something Borrowed” series. It’s more well-planned out than it was originally, and I really want to see it through. There will only be a few changes, regarding character relationships. I’ve decided to take out Sharon because I want to stay true to the MC Universe timeline and I just couldn’t see how her character would work with my plot — ya get me? lol idk how to properly explain this.

I’m sorry if this upsets you…. just think of it as a revision early in the story. everything is still basically the same.

Therefore, for those who are curious to see how the original few chapters were or loved the original plot for “Something Borrowed” I will keep it up as: “Something Borrowed - Steve Rogers x Reader (original version)”

thanks for those who stayed with the original version <3 hope you love the new, revised version.

PART TWO

[firesign23]

Author Interview

Tagged by: @aviss  (And @luthienebonyx while I was answering!)

Name:  Ehh, any variation of my usernames is fine. Or you can ask after we’ve talked. It’s too distinctive to put on Tumblr

Fandoms: I’m currently active in Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries and Game of Thrones, and occasionally still check in on the Agent Carter fandom when I have time. I’ve been fandoming for 18 years though, and couldn’t list all the ones I’ve been active in. I used to think I could, and then awhile back I was suddenly hit with a reminder that I wrote fic for X and had forgotten it entirely. 😂

Where you post: AO3

Most popular oneshot: (every single one of us) still left in want of mercy  for GoT. For Miss Fisher, the answer actually surprised me--by hits it is A Hundred and One, which made some sense because it was my first fic and hit during that huge rush in the wake of series 3. By kudos? It’s Reservations, a Mac POV of Phryne and Jack’s developing relationship. 

Most popular multi-chapter story: in the wild blue yonder, your star is fixed (in my sky)  for GoT, which is unsurprising because I only have two and that is both older and longer. A Glass Splinter for Miss Fisher, which is also unsurprising because it is oldest and longest. 

Favorite story you wrote: I always say Fear Not the Bugle, because it was long and hard and deeply personal by the end, but I think that answer changes a lot based on whatever definition of favourite I’m using.  

Story you were nervous to post: All of them, every time. But, honestly, today’s chapter on in the wild blue yonder was… I told people I was expecting rage quitting, and while nobody’s said so, the subscription count has gone down for the first time. There’s any number of innocuous reasons for that, and of course people can read what they want and interests change and so on, but it doesn’t feel like a coincidence that it came after this chapter either. I am, of course, overthinking the whole thing like hell because that’s how I roll. I’ll be over it tomorrow--the story went the way the story had to go. 

How you choose your titles: I scream at people until something clicks? I honestly… I’m so bad at picking titles. I’ll use song lyrics or poetry or quotes--lots of room for Shakespeare and Rilke with MFMM for obvious reasons, and also Edna St Vincent Millay and Anais Nin. And D.H. Lawrence, but also fuck that guy. Or sometimes I’ll just use a random word. I like to joke that I’m going to post a Phrack story and just call it “There’s smut, we all know you’ll read this regardless of the title”, but I don’t even have that going for me in the GoT fandom. THE HARDSHIPS, Y’ALL. I’m currently obsessed with finding a reason to use The Ballroom Thieves’ Bees for a fic, somehow, but I’m not sure which bit. Or which fic. It is sure as shit not going to be an angsty, canon-compliant Jaime POV of Winterfell though, that’s for fucking sure.

Do you outline: Somewhat? Before my season 8 fixit I was mostly writing casefics for anything longer than a one-shot, and I found that I had to have a super rough outline before starting so I could make sure the places clues were dropped were well-spaced and the resolution made sense on a super basic level. But this mostly took the form of a super general paragraph per chapter, and I didn’t really know how those things would happen until I get there. For yonder I have a list of shit that’s supposed to happen, maybe, and I’m winging it without knowing what’s coming in even a vague sense more than a couple of chapters ahead. Except for the final chapter, which was one of the first things I noted, back when I was telling @heavyheadedgal I wasn’t going to WRITE a fic, it was just satisfying to think about it, and anyway even if I did it would be a oneshot. 

I do, however, sort of outline a chapter when I get to writing it. Outline mostly means a sentence, maybe two, per scene--X happens, the purpose of which is Y, tone might be Z--and any scraps of dialogue/writing that had already come to me during previous writing. 

Complete: On ao3 I have… 150 or so? I think the full count is 152 or 153, and of those one is on hiatus and has been for years, one is complete but not yet fully posted because it’s for the 2019 monthly challenge for MFMM, and one genuine WIP. I have no idea what the true total over 18 year is though, other than a LOT.

In-progress: I am actively working on in the wild blue yonder, your star is fixed (in my sky) and the The Seasons Will Change Us New series (aka Minigolf AU), and have a few things like prompts that I pick at on occasion. 

Coming soon/not yet started:

I have a ton more stories in the Minigolf series--the first on the docket is a one-shot of Brienne and Jaime grabbing coffee (that’s what I’m working on), then one set over the Midwinter holiday where their skiing holiday plans are interrupted by Robert’s death. Then there is the bachelor auction fic, which is going to be great because platonic neck kisses. And a few after that.  

The third fic in the series of smutty character studies, which will feature pegging and domJaime (somehow?) and I have NO FUCKING CLUE what it will actually look like but I need it and nobody else is going to write it, so...

My next “serious” longfic will probably by the Persuasion/Anne of Cleves!AU, which is the weirdest mashup description ever. But the premise could be really great--it’s a canon divergence where Brienne and Jaime meet earlier in the timeline and become friends, then are separated by Cersei’s scheming and the ire of the court, both of them in love but not realising or able to act on it at the time. Then they meet again when she is Catelyn’s sworn sword (I’m handwaving so much politics in this fic and Ned’s death is different so Sansa is marrying Joffrey and UGH I’m not looking forward to that side of things because my grasp of canon is so bad), and there is angst and pining and strained sniping. Addam gets to be Charles Musgrove. It’s only the vaguest sort of take on Persuasion, but… The Anne of Cleves side of things is--okay, I kinda want to really lean into that inspiration, but the real point of that is to tackle Brienne’s ugliness from an angle that acknowledges that it can be a “Yes and…” situation--yes, she’s not pretty, and it can also be a constructed, weaponised attack on her. For example, I’m taking that “More of a woman’s shape” thing and running with it--she’s not feminine in build, but that gets warped into “Entirely indistinguishable from a man” by people out to discredit her, and even Jaime’s memories of her have been shaped by that propaganda.  

Look, we all know I’m writing Cocks and Robbers and it is entirely the fault of @aurora-australis-tumbles 

Do you accept prompts: Absolutely! I can be very slow at filling them though, because I… for a long time I was really struggling with writing for a bunch of complex reasons and I’m still working my way up to being able to write a lot in a day. It’s like a muscle injury that’s slowly healing, but I’m not pushing myself, and that means that I can’t currently sit down and bang out 5 or 6 ficlets in a day like I used to. 

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: Persuasion AU, I think? What I have to say about beauty is probably rather niche and not interesting to the vast majority of fans, but it’s something that I like to explore. Or the bachelor auction AU because TROPES GALORE.

Tagging @whopooh  @scruggzi @aurora-australis-tumbles @renee561 and whoever else wants to do it. I am super bad at remembering who has already done these things

[edge-lorde]

hp update: completed 2 more chapters and am up to date again

the past few chapters has been a lot of making the animal crossing rounds. like in the old gamecube animal crossing if you didnt play for a while and then came back, every time you wanted to interact with a villager you would first have to suffer through their “WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN” dialog before you could actually talk to them. this is a lot like that but its everybody being sad at you because the mc hasnt kept in touch with them over the summer/talked to them since school started up again. in the last 2 chaps, this process has happened with andre, jae, rowan, and actually not barnaby hes been out there flourishing apparently. 

i actually remember very little of andres level... he found the perfect socks to give to a shady old man who once tricked charlie and i into buying a counterfeit dragon egg. im still looking for ways to be a better friend to him but dont feel satisfied yet. 

jaes i remember more of.... hes still in detention hell and he misses our shared misery. a new kid has replaced me down there and we had a full level of gossiping about how much they suck. i hope we see more of jae in the future U-U.

rowans hit me pretty hard... its been hinting at this for a while but the mc and rowan have been growing apart. mc has so many friends and is constantly running around while rowan hasnt made any new friends on her own since year 1 basically. you have the option to spend a level with her reminiscing on old times and assuring each other that we havent grown out of each other. :C i relate to this a lot........

but rowan has made some friends, she was friends with the weird sisters before the mc met them, though theyve by sure graduated by now. she was also hanging out with barnaby independent of you so even if she hasnt made friends on her own, she still has some. i cant imagine what happens if you choose not to take her with you for this scene. 

barnaby has been out there living. hes been talking to penny about muggle stuff and has decided he wants to become the magical version of a renaissance man. hes been trying out new hobbies, trying to learn new things, actively asking rowan for help studying, and just having fun. glad to see hes so upbeat. hes got as much stuff to angst over as ismelda but he just doesnt have an angsty bone in his body. its pleasant. 

as for general game notes, finally maxed animal friendship with the dang horse. did 1 more level on that side quest, horse got spooked and flew away oh noooo. next task is to gain 150 bravery points while penny buys us some alcohol. 

also, the game has seemingly been making it easier to gain notebooks because i recently was able to purchase friendship rights with the magic hedgehog. idk what to name it yet, perhaps sniffums?

the dormitory has been added as its own location that you can get to from the stairs, but you can also still get to it as a room off another location like normal. theyve added a camera button which seems to pause the game and put up a hphm logo in the dormitory area, but it doesnt seem to be able to take pictures in any sense of the word, i still have to figure that out anew every time. another fun thing is now you turn back and forth between you human form and animagus form while in the dormitory.

bats and acromantuals have been added to be able to be bought for 130 brown notebooks each but im broke TT_________TT

nothing new on the leader board for a while.... last thing that they did was remove bill. no new students have been added to it since liz. idk what its even for tbh

game devs.... if you read my blog..... show me a sign.... add all the new kids to the leader board. this is a test. if this happens i know your spying on me.