#this has been an essay lmao oops

[fantasticalleigh]

putting my thoughts down from tags i added to the last post here bc i need them to have their own space but--

i wondered why drew looked so damn tortured on RAW when he beat punk and destroyed the bracelet and after seeing that photo of Drew in near tears the over analyzing really kicked off

so drew Claymore'd Punk off the commentator's table and knelt on the ground after but instead of looking smug or laughing he just looked. idk. broken. and then when he's picking Punk up and they're in the ring and he's stalking around Claymoring him again and again there's that one moment where Drew turns his head away and scrunches up his face like he's in pain.

Why is he reacting like that to his own actions? Normally whenever Drew beats Punk he's a gloating, sadistic, grade-A asshole but on Monday he did look heartbroken. Punk was celebrating being finished with Drew Mcintyre after Bash in Berlin, practically having a party in the ring that he's now able to set his sights on a new opponent and Drew just can't bear that so he came out and did what he did.

Yeah, it's about pride. It's about payback. It's about respect. But (I think) Drew really expects Punk to match the intensity of his obsession with this feud. Every week he's out there demanding Punk's undivided attention:

-luring him out of the ring to chase him around the stadium when Punk is too focused on Seth

-learning his opening routine/mannerisms to the letter to mock him. using all of Punk's history against him like a weapon/insult to provoke an emotional reaction.

-taking his bracelet and kissing it to taunt him every chance he gets

-"look me in the eye when you speak to me" "you complete me/you're my muse/this is divine intervention" "it will never be over" etc. etc. etc.

-risking being fired and even arrested by crashing out on live tv multiple times demanding that Punk come see him/fight him

And Punk responds. He followed Drew to Glasgow just to fuck him out of a win in his own home country (no i will not rephrase that thank you very much). He waited underneath the ring to leap out on an unsuspecting Drew during his segment to whip him with a strap. He ruined Drew's MITB cash-in and beat him with a chair and then the title belt. He falls to Drew's bait again and again but recovers quickly. To Punk it's just another Monday with his unhinged, annoying coworker who he's got another match with. Even if it's a personal rivalry Punk refuses to see it in the same light as Drew does.

TBH I get real Batman & The Joker vibes from them both where Drew (the Joker) wants more and more out of Punk (Batman), and Punk just won't give it. And that breaks Drew's heart because, well, he's a great big dummy deep in love/denial and doesn't realize it yet. Despite his hatred of Punk, Drew feels/senses this is a great /special rivalry and doesn't want to let go.

Deep down he's gotta be thinking of Punk as a worthy adversary even if he'd have to be forced to admit it out loud and through bloodied teeth. Why else keep the feud alive at this point? At the beginning he tried to establish himself as the IT guy. "I'm your leader now, kid." So if he was THAT guy, couldn't he have walked away at any point? Drew could have been the one to drop Punk and focus his sights anywhere else. But now we know he just can't let go of things. He's still fixated on 2020. He's still fixated on his history with Punk. He gave Punk that power (unwillingly) to ruin him, it's his own fault but he's powerless to stop it at this point.

So when Punk's out there talking about setting his sights on someone new, Drew can't bear it, and that pushes him to destroy the bracelet. If I can't have it, you can't either. There's a real poetry in Drew forcing Punk to swallow those beads (and totally not a sexual connotation behind it, no way ;) ;;;;) ). The bracelet was a really interesting motif in the feud, and I loved its symbolism, but I'm glad it's gone. I keep seeing people comment on social media about the feud being stale by now (I disagree) and the expectation is that it will end at Bad Blood in a Hell in a Cell match. I'm sadly leaning this way too, but now that Drew destroyed the bracelet the feud can have a fresh breath of air and go down a new line if they write it right. Selfishly, I don't want it to end any time soon. It's my favorite story line right now in the WWE.

[ratatatastic]

for everytime swaggy uses we are the champions in any post i think we need to shoot him with a paintball gun in the back

[cowardlybean]

Hey. The Times They Are A Changin’ by @bandtrees and @tigsbitties amiright (muffled face down on the floor)

more (some unsettling things) beneath the cut :3

(Image 3 is my favorite sequence from an animation for TTTAAAC I’ve been working on, so here it is just in case I never finish </3, image 4 is me thinking about Mob’s house. If. That makes sense.)

OH MAN. OH MAN OH MAN. this fic has altered my brain chemistry in a way that has doctors baffled and leaves tragedy in its wake!!!!!!!!! Absolutely a masterpiece I’ve reread it 3 times now and every time I notice a new detail, there’s just SO MUCH CARE put into it. I think I could write an essay about every page of this fic LMAO it honestly blows me away, huge kudos to everyone who was a part of the project!!!!

Especially the multimedia aspects, they were so much fun to find and in some cases decode (Scared the SHIT outta myself with Breathe I think it’s one of my favorites). the youtube videos were so cool as well

Realizing a third of the way in that things will never get better was such a gut wrenching experience, and by the time I realized just how deep the hole Mob dug himself into was it was absolutely too late for anything to happen (the end of act 1 was horrific in the most amazing way. So many things stuck with me: the state Reigen was left in compared to how he was, Ritsu’s “surgery”, Dimple losing his best friend, Shou’s report to the police, Minori’s conversation (if you can call it that) with Mob?? Bone. Chilling.

One of the parts that has been sitting in my gut is Reigen’s fall, where he starts to ramble through fragments of old times. I genuinely thought he was calling out to Mob until just as the same time Mob did I recognized the words and it hit me like a HAMMER. I don’t know how to put it into words but Reigen rambling on like a broken record tore me apart, and then it gets WORSE. I only realized on my second read that the intro of the fic. (Correct me if I’m wrong) IS REIGENS PERSPECTIVE OF MOB SEVERING HIS TENDONS???? Holy fuck. Holy FUCK. The vague semblance of consciousness written there is so deeply unsettling I’m absolutely OBSESSED with it. ESPECIALLY THE FACT THAT EVEN IN THAT STATE HE STILL WANTS MOB TO BE HAPPY (the cheer ^^ mob bit) and idk if I’m interpreting right (this is gonna be so embarrassing if I’m not) but him recognizing the filthy jacket as well. Taking me OUT. AND. AND THE FACT REIGEN NEVER SPEAKS AGAIN AFTER THAT?????? (I could be wrong oops)

The mental states of every character in the fic are written so chillingly well. I can understand how Mob spirals, the anger and grief Tome feels, Shou's spite and anger, Teruki's conflict, Dimple's loss of his best friend, Serizawa's waning optimism, I can't name every character in this fic but they are ALL characterized so well. There's no needless conflict that make them OOC, there's a reason behind every little tragedy building upon themselves and creating a giant disaster that deeply affects the entire cast. Not to mention how its not just the loss of Reigen and Ritsu, but the loss of Mob too. If they were to have died on impact, its unsettling to think that things may have turned out better than this.

There’s a lot of things I wanna say that would basically be restating the fic (dimple losing his best friend, teru shaving, and the irony of ritsu’s powers being taken away by mob) so instead of writing 20 more paragraphs I’ll ask some questions I’ve been mulling over (ofc yall don’t have to answer if it’s revealing too much or smth)

Does Mob actually end up getting investigated or arrested? The formatting of the social media posts and texts makes them seem as if they're evidence and so does the ongoing "interview?" with Shou throughout the fic

In the party, is Reigen saying he doesn't like citrus a reference to the lemon sour :eyes:

I'm probably missing something but im curious about the metaphor around Reigen and a stray cat (hair clinging to Mob's clothes, comparing him to a stray cat finding a place to die, comparing him to a cat outside Serizawa's door)

If I'm not wrong and the "glitchy" sections at the beginning and end of the fic are Reigen and Ritsu's povs respectively, is their mind constantly like that or is it just in the specific circumstances where they have a small burst of consciousness?

last (thats a lie im definitely drawing more fanart in the future) but not least, some notes from when I was re-reading

[twelve-nights]

kin mem dump / i try to explain the mess that is my doll-solver timeline

Everything is under cut because this is going to be LONG. I apologize ahead of time for the likely disorganization lmao,, I don't have to energy to clean this up like a proper essay

"I" here refers to Doll btw,

It's probably obvious already but I was pretty canon divergent, although some of the things aren't confirmed or contradicted by canon, so I guess it could still be canon but probably unlikely.

I'll get to the weirdness with the Solver (and the "solver family tree" i made) at the end, so here's the other major differences:

The universe was a simulation. Or at least I'm pretty sure it was something like that. There's no way that the Solver should be able to change the properties of stuff using code or open up [null] black holes if it wasn't.

I became close friends with Uzi. Also I didn't die in episode 7. This friendship happened after what should've been ep 7 and it started after I let her keep the keybug after barging into her room. I remember telling her to talk to me later (which I honestly wasn't expecting her to do, but she did) after she told me that "[the keybug] was the only answer to what was wrong with [her]".

Yeva wasn't dead. I don't remember how I found her or when but she had survived in her core like Nori did. I'm pretty sure it happened at least a few months after Cabin Fever Labs though.

And finally, here is the "Solver family tree" and my attempt to explain it

Basically, the original Solver was copied into (infected) Cyn, which then mutated and became the thing in canon. Only Cyn's Solver and copies of that has an affection towards N/V/J/Tessa. That was later directly copied into Nori and Yeva during the experiments.

What the Crucifix Patch did in my canon was basically get rid of its "murder everything"ness and stopped a lot of the overheating problems (which in turn weakened it). I consider mine and Yeva's "strain" of it to be sort of separate from Cyn's, but since the virus doesn't just copy its "base code" and copies EVERYTHING into the new host (including memories), I do have a few snippets of memories from both Cyn and Yeva. This is also why Uzi's Solver has the same opinions towards N/V/J/Tessa.

Also, the Solver was a separate program and basically was like a half-person in your head fighting for control. Constantly. You overheat more than normal, even with Copper-9 being almost freezing

Anyways, Yeva and my copy of the Solver was a lot less murdery (although it still needed oil often) and we could kind of negotiate with it since it didn't want to murder everyone. I unfortunately did not learn this until after Cabin Fever Labs. Oops.

But yeah, I eventually formed a bit of an alliance with it and it would usually manifest itself as a security camera tail or wire coming out of my neck. Uzi's Solver fucking hated mine after realizing it was on our side and would try to fight it so much. Too many times did N and the others have to try to split us apart lmao,,

I have a bunch of other scattered memories that I'm not sure where I can fit an explanation here, so feel free to send in an ask or something :>

Oh yeah, I should probably explain why I say I kin the Solver.

Technically, I guess I'm only my own Solver but because that was a copy of an altered copy of an altered copy, I do have some memories from Cyn and Yeva. It's kind of just.. weird computer logistics...? So its easier to say I just kin the Solver than having to explain the weirdness of it in my canon lmao,, It's really hard to explain robot things in human terms lol,,

tagging @anon-coke since you were curious about this :}

[softguarnere]

Please share more about Chiara. She looks really cool😎

Aaaaahhh, thank you, Anon! 🥹🫶🏽 I enjoy putting her into situations, so I hope other people will enjoy her, too!

Some Chiara origin story/fun facts below the cut 🤭

So me being me, of course this is another Indigenous OC, because representation is important and I'll never ever shut up about that :)

Her full name is Chiara Kahhori St. Claire because I'm OBSESSED with that episode of What If . . . ? and I think Chiara and Kahhori would be so much fun together. In this essay I will --

A member of the Mohawk tribe, she was born and raised in upstate New York by her mom and grandma. Mostly by her grandma, because speaking of her mom!

Chiara's mom, Monica St. Claire, is a super successful lawyer who's pretty much always traveling for work

Monica may or may not have worked for Stark Industries as a legal advisor back in the day. She also may or may not have had a secret enemies to lovers back to enemies relationship with Tony Stark during that time. She may or may not have quit and fled back to New York when they broke up. And Tony may or may not be Chiara's biological father -- who's to say, since no one has been brave enough to run a paternity test?

(Slightly off topic, but sometimes I mess around with an au in which Chiara is raised by her father instead of her mother, and that shit is WILD lmao. They are a complete disaster and I love that.)

ANYWAYS

Chiara can be a menace. Are her actions cries for attention? Absolutely. Still a menace, though!

This girl basically terrorizes the Catholic school she goes to growing up

Ex: At age twelve, she refuses to do confession because "I literally have Saint in my last name, I'm basically already halfway to canonization." Age thirteen, she begins referring to the priests solely as "Pops" and/or "Daddy-O." And of course, at age fourteen, the final straw that gets her kicked out is stealing wine before Communion with some older kids.

Also at age fourteen!

Everyone forgets Chiara's fourteenth birthday. She's devastated. That night, she sees a shooting star go overhead and offhandedly makes a wish that she were important

The next thing she knows, she's got very villain-coded powers. She can manipulate/animate shadows, travel though them, take the light out of rooms, etc. Oops.

Now at age fifteen, she's been moved to Queens for a fresh start after getting kicked out of her last school, and she's trying so so hard to hide these weird-ass powers because they lowkey terrify her, and she's pretty sure that her "importance" is supposed to come from being some sort of villain -- because no hero would have such dark powers . . . Right?

There's definitely more thoughts, but at the risk of accidentally making you read a whole novel length list of ideas, I'll exercise some self control and end here for now

[screampied]

VEGAS HI! <3 it's been so long, i've just been so swamped in my last semester of college (i'm taking 7 classes... i'm kinda insane but i need to LEAVE this school i h8 it here!)

i've been lurking and reading your newest fics and i'm so living for the kinktober stuff you've got so far. also, i'm so glad to see you got into love & deepspace RAAAAAHHHHHH. i've noticed you talked about zayne + sylus being your top faves, and as a zayne girlie since day 1 of playing, that made me so happy. (literally since day 1... i had the app pre-saved before the drop date in january. HJDHFJDJFDHK.) shoutouts to your sex therapist!sylus fic (#needthat) and the brief mention of how zayne is so similar to kento... my suit and tie husbands ... UGH.

i've genuinely just been going through the motions but i'm so grateful for your blog and the space you've curated. it means so much <333 for all the freaks out there who are stressed and getting their ass handed by life! [lich rally writing this as i have a mini essay due in like 2 hours and i haven't started... OOP!]

i'll drop back in again whenever i can HAHAHAH. sending you so much love and happy halloween! <3

(p.s. consider a ghostface!sylus idea... teehee!)

— 🦇

BATTYYYYYY MY LOVE !!!!!! it has !!!! omg i could never forget you <3 glad to hear from u as always n i hope college gets better for you bae 🫰. oomf i know, that’ll def be me once my semester starts sooo not ready ugh. sending u lots of positive energy tho !!!!!! u got this muwah.

ahhhh im flattered :’)))). i hope to finish a lil smth up by tomorrow n see if i have any energy left for the weekend. (PRAYING🤞) but thank u sm i appreciate u !!!!! YEAAAAAAH. unfortunately im kinda burned out of lads already LMAO. sylus's card just came out n i wanna pull so bad but i have like nothing 😫. i spent all my gems on the last banner n was so lucky getting zayne and sylus my mennnn. but yep i love zayne <3 he grew on me, kinda found him ….. boring at first but he gives me kento vibes—plus his story is so ???? poor baby. BUT UR SO RIGHT imagine a crossover with kento ‘n zayne ….. 🤭

but nonnie, it’ll be okay <3 givin u a big virtual hug HANG IN THERE !!!!!!! of courseeee, im glad my blog is able to provide a sort of safe freaky space xo. good luck on ur essay !!!!! 🫂 hydrate, eat & get some well rest. come back ANYYYY time, and happy halloween !!!!!

[enobariasdistrict2]

do you have any favorite moments of brooke and julians relationship?

last one before i go off to study for a calculus test (gross) and finish an english essay that's due tonight at 11:59 p.m (even more gross)

i finished watching oth at the end of junior year, a few months ago, and had a brief period where i didn't know what to do with my free time now that oth episodes weren't taking it up lmao. yet somehow i basically forgot a lot of things that happened on the show, oops. however from what i do remember:

first off i love the way brulian start. on that couch, having this direct conversation where she confronts him about his intentions and he takes the opportunity to flirt with her, and lay a REALLY GOOD line on her. everything about how they started in s6 was incredibly hot.

then there's that insane sexual tension of s6 where she's attracted to him but thinks she shouldn't be. i love how she gives in to what she wants and them making out on her couch until sam catches them... altered my brain chemistry forever. lives were changed. my brain also went brrrr when she gave him one of those basketball jacket things but that's more of a personal fantasy thing for me lol.

then when he COMFORTS HER AT THE HOSPITAL and is just super supportive and kind and her friend and everything she needs, and she comes onto him and initiates incredible sex but is still afraid to be vulnerable with him??????? yeah!!

and after when she finally allows herself to go after what she wants and they have that perfect movie kiss... incredible.

i also loved the scene where she writes MARRY ME in the sand because this is a girl who has been hurt before yet she's putting herself out there in such a bold way because she's confident that she wants to spend the rest of her life with this man!!

i didn't like s7 that much because it was too much of the alex hitting on him nonsense, so s7 left a sour taste in my mouth. thankfully s8 turned it around for me. especially the episode where they roleplayed for valentine's day.

[greatcheshire]

How would you rank your vids based on how much you like them?

Ah yes!! I can answer this one

The Many Adaptations of Berserk: I feel like it has to be this one as my fav. There’s parts of the video I wish I could redo (mainly the audio), but to put out such labor of love and have it receive such a positive response back, it’s so fulfilling. From people telling me it got them into Berserk to survivors messaging me to tell me how much the video meant to them. It’s a sense of pride and accomplishment that I never thought I’d ever feel with my art.

Spider-Man Musical: This, for me, feels like the prime example of what I want my channel to be: exploring relatively obscure things in a way that shows how strange they are while also taking it seriously and really examining them. As someone who has been fascinated with this musical for over a decade, finally finding a way to make an essay about it and letting people know about things like the spider fucking and the shoe song.

Dollar Store Game Show: I wish I could redo the audio here. God I wish I could redo the audio here. That being said, I’ve always seen this as the hidden gem of my channel, and whenever I talk to other creators, chances are this is the video of mine they bring up. The Facebook conspiracy “In Motion” part might be my favorite editing gag I’ve ever done

Demo Reel: I would’ve ranked this much lower if I hadn’t rewatched it a few weeks ago for the new Demo Reel vid. Despite some first time video mistakes that I would happily fix if I could, I think the script here is really solid and could have been way worse. I get why people like this one so much. I probably would’ve been really into this video if I wasn’t the one who made it. I still can’t believe I actually got away with the Evangelion intro gag.

Kitchen Nightmares: I started outlining this video back in my college days. I rewatched it about a month ago and my main note is that it feels like a video anyone could’ve made on Kitchen Nightmares, for better or for worse, and lacks a lot of the… personal energy I like to include in these things? But I still think it’s pretty solid. I also meant to include an entire segment on Nathan For You and just… forgot to lmao oops

The Return of Demo Reel: This one is still so new that I haven’t fully processed my feelings on it. This is probably the meanest video I’ve done so far lol I wasn’t sure how much the two halves would connect together, especially since it’s the only video I’ve done so far that isn’t broken up into segments but is rather scripted as one long thing. The stinger is my second favorite stinger I’ve ever done for the channel. I’m so glad that landed for people as I almost cut it entirely lol

The Cinemassacre Backlash: It feels weird to rank this one so low. I still am proud of the result, but I also think it has the same issue as Kitchen Nightmares where it’s like oh, anyone could’ve made that. I did like getting to interject my perspective into the discourse as someone who co-writes and makes online content and I have gotten a lot of praise for this one by my peers which has been nice. Having it blow up so much was wild and has definitely been a career benefit, even if I’m unsure if I’ll ever do a video like this again

Harley and Ivy: I don’t know why but I can’t help but feel like I could’ve made this one better. I’m not sure how, but it just feels like it exists to me. I actually didn’t even remember that I did the whole thing with the Be Gay, Do Crime scale until I saw it referenced on my TV Tropes page

Lost Film About Internet Memes: This one is fine but it sits in a lower place in my head for a lot of reasons. First being that a lot of personal life stuff surrounding the release and aftermath of the video. Second being my hatred of the original thumbnail and the belief that it tanked that video in a way it’s only now recovering from, which affected future business dealings and negotiations and algorithm stuff. Then the fact that this is the only time I’ve regretted going soft in one of my videos. I originally put more stuff in the script about how I believed the guy who made it was a grifter who seems to do a lot of scams but I changed it to make it more subtext and less of a personal attack and then in the aftermath of the vid it turns out, oops, this guy had a history of screwing people over and grifting and jumped into cryptocurrency because of course he did. I don’t think I’d ever revisit this subject, but if I had a time machine, I would’ve had way more testimonials in the vid from former PopMalt people.

Existential Horror Of Making Content About Content: The nicest thing I can say about this one is that it was the first time I ever made a thumbnail myself and I’m actually pleased with how it turned out, all things considered. Otherwise I can’t see myself ever watching this again

I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m too harsh on my own work lol I just have a unique relationship to it, I think. I’m generally proud of my videos, even if I do have issues with them as their creator.

[red-rover-au]

Listen. I hold your face-- listen. I have been following so many separated au's. that the details I'd used to analyze the fighting styles of your friends in particular have been completely muddle-mixed with every other draxum dad-ed turtle. I think to myself "Leo has the weapon that's most likely to kill/maim" but is that a rr Leo trait? no! I think to myself "yet donnie is the one who murders most often" but do I remember examples of that? no!! My head is Empty my good writer.

The fact that 2 out of 3 responses to the fights have been "no thoughts head empty" lmaoo

Interesting that the family truama is the thing that stands out about my au! Yeah, my history with domestic abuse isn't a secret, and the fact that I always make Slightly Flawed parents 10xs worse in every fandom I touch is one of the funnier symptoms djskdjd

I could write a full essay on the complicated nature of having abusive parents who DO love you.

The rest under the read more cuz i accidentally did oops. Content warning for child abuse, obviously

I see a lot of depictions of abusive parents that feel extremely text book based, like someone read about the cycle of abuse and copied it down step by step, when in my experience and the experience of almost all of my friends who were hit as kids- its really not like that at all

I think I project onto Leo the most in terms of responding to an abusive parent. Cuz like, when your parent abuses you but you KNOW that they love you, it creates this unstable dynamic where you're never sure how much you can get away with. But when you're a stubborn and prideful kid like I was, you just try getting away with everything cuz fuck it, you know the storm is gonna pass eventually, they won't be mad at you forever, they'll probably even (poorly) apologize later

The most personal example was in the latest chapter- chapter 18. While Leo is getting whipped the only thing on his mind is how annoying it is that Draxum didn't even start with an explanation this time. He doesn't actually care why tho; anything could've set Draxum off, really. But he also has to carefully craft a mask that isnt too stuck up/neutral, else the beating will go on longer and that would be annoying- but he also has his Pride so he doesn't want to look super shaken from the whole thing. That might've been the autism in me, idk.

I dont know how to end this i got carried away lmao

Point is, ur right and Im glad the nuance comes through (I also have three siblings who's reactions to the exact same abusive behavior I could draw from, so that helps) and yis Leo keeps his snark because of course he does, he's Leo

[iwillneverforgiveyousunghanbin]

hi again i’m one of the taedros anons but… is pt 3 actually in the works… because i’m genuinely so hyped PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEE 🙏🙏🙏🙏

okay so it’s not *currently* in the works 😭 i’ve had a really busy couple weeks of work so i haven’t felt like writing at all. my two drafts i have rn are mattwoong x reader and haobin x reader pt. 3 but they literally have like 300 words each in both of them lmao 💀 nothing is close to being done oops. i might sit down tomorrow and finish one of them actually! i have to finish something for my main blog too though…

i still only have like the slightest hint of an idea of taedros pt. 3 (taedros tresdos LMAO)… i’m actually willing to hear suggestions if you or anyone have any lingering thoughts/ideas! i’ll be writing it as a conclusion i think so if you have anything you want to be included for this little series i accidentally made— please let me know and i will consider them!!

this is probably not the end of pussyeating!taerae trope (bc how could it be) but it’ll be the end of the “taedros” arc. 🩷

but now that i’ve seen a glimpse of a shorttempered!taerae (idol human theater video)… this taerae has now been weighing on my mind heavily 👀🥵

sorry to write you an essay but thank you for reading and enjoying and sending me an ask etc etc 🥰💕

[tim-lucy]

You're top 5 songs that gives you all the chenford feels and why? :D

Five is so hard!! I actually have four different playlists from different chenford eras. I usually make a new one every year, but I've already made two for Season 5 and we're only on episode 11 😵‍💫

Out of allll of the songs I've put on them the ones that hit most are probably:

About Love by MARINA ��� There were very few edits (the fandom was like 4 people 😂) at the time and then someone popped off and made this amaziiiing video and it became like THE video for me! I literally remember listening to it on a run and having a breakdown LOLOL. Now the song always makes me flashback to the early chenford days and I get emotional :')

What Am I by Why Don't We — In all honesty, I got it in my head that they would do the deed to this song lmao. It's been years and I can't picture anything else playing. It's just so soft so them!!

Crowded Heart by Samuel Jack — MY GOD. I just remember the hours leading up to 3x09 and the chaotic "I have feelings for you" promo and how BEAUTIFUL that end scene was. "I'll be wrong before I'm right." She was wrong because she actually did fall for him OOP. It's also my favorite Chenford scene ever! It was the scene where I was like...this is the ship my soul has been searching for. I'm dramatic but also it's true hahahaha

How You Get The Girl by Taylor Swift — Okay there was a promo released right before Day of Death and it had Tim being all stressed looking for Lucy and then this instagram edit was born from it and the song has reminded me of them ever since! It's one of the few that has made it onto every updated playlist 😂 Also Tim is gonna stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain and Lucy's gonna open up the door and say "are you insane?" and also he's gonna tell her "I want you for worse or for better I want you forever and ever" in this essay—

Running In Place by Chris Moreno — THIS YOUTUBE VIDEO!! "I don't want to spend the rest of my life pretending I don't love you" LIKE BRUH. Literally Season 5 Chenford in a nutshell send help!!

Thank you for asking this! It was so fun (and emotional we've come so far)!! :D

[chelseasasimmer]

I 100% respect your S&B spam. Like, I've never finished season one, simply because I'm a fucking perfectionist who hates change, but SoC is one of my all-time favorite books, and I love it so much. Kaz Brekker is also my most blorbo of blorbos, or one of them. I love him so much, and I will defend him with my life. Also, Inej is the orginial Knife Wife. No one will ever beat her for that spot. (Maybe someday I'll finish season one and watch season two... someday...) Also, Nikolai is going to finally show up, which is wild. He's my other most blorbo of all time, and I totally didn't write a 1k word thing about him and Kaz being mirrors of each other.

Actually, the book I'm reading right now is giving me strong SoC vibes. Like, very strong. Specifically in the "bunch of chaotic idiots (affectionate) pull of incredible cons" sort of way. It's called The Lies of Locke Lamora, and it's about a little tiny gang (5 people) of conmen and thieves called the Gentlemen Bastards (which is the most amazing name, honestly) and all the shenanigans they get up to. It's actually a trilogy, but I'm only on book one right now.

Okay, that is all. Sorry for rambling! <3

GEFjfWIUEGROywge uyoEWG

That's valid that you didn't finish season 1. I actually out of watching it for so long because, again, Six of Crows is my absolute favourite series of all time, so I was worried the show wouldn't do it justice. But so far it definitely has (for SoC at least, I don't actually remember most of what happened in SaB since it's been so long since I read it). I do enjoy the SaB parts of the series, but I have to be honest, sometimes I delude myself into thinking that SoC is the main plot and that SaB is the side plot even though it's definitely the other way around.

And yessss!! I'm excited for Nikolai to show up!!! (That reminds me, I need to get around to reading Rule of Wolves, since I haven't yet oops). AND WYLAN MY FRIEND WYLAN!!!! I'm so excited for him to show up!!! I'm so excited to get the SoC gang all together finally!!!!

And highkey I'd read that essay lmao.

And oooh that book sounds interesting! I'll definitely have to check it out!!! Gentleman Bastards is definitely an S Tier gang name (its kind of giving Gentleman Demon vibes tbh so extra Leigh Bardugo tie in lmao).

Pleaseeee don't apologise for rambling!!! Infodumping is good for you and I really like to hear other people infodump about their interests to me (I like asking my brother and dad about their special interests (even though my dad doesn't know he has them bc he doesn't know he's autistic, but I do), which involves a lot of me pretending to understand prehistoric animals and sports and the like).

I'd totally be down to talk to you more about the Grishaverse if you wanted to!!

[hhoneyglasss]

oooh ia with your turning post, but it made me think of other 'turnings under duress' like can you really consent to being turned truly in a situation like lovely's where you've never discussed it before and are literally dying in that moment??

i was thinking abt that too! and tbh, i hv no idea. u’re honestly right, bcuz how r u in ur right state of mind in a situation like lovely’s where the life force has literally been slurped out of u by a bunch of shades. like how r u supposed to hv a clear mind when all u’re focusing on is trying to stay calm???? it’s a blurred line that i can’t really see the answer too.

ig u could argue that it’s a bit different with lovely and vincent bcuz they were partners prior and it was a perilous situation, but even then, lovely didn’t give full consent bcuz they physically couldn’t. and just bcuz u’re partners w someone doesn’t mean u hv a right to their bodily autonomy.

i think a situation like alexis’s and sam’s is slightly clearer to navigate. even though they were friends and it was ALSO a perilous situation, sam literally said “no, i don’t want that.” and alexis took it as a flashing green light and basically said, “no means yes!!! now let me at him!!”

but ALSO— was sam rly able to think clearly either? i mean, i don’t think so— bro had a car door INSIDE of him. could he really think abt how he was going to die when all he was thinking abt was the metal lodged in his torso? u could argue alexis was just trying to save him and meant no harm, and maybe if the situation was different, sam would’ve been grateful for him ‘saving’ her. idk abt alexis’s intentions tho, since we hvn’t met her in the prime universe. but do her intentions even matter when the harm was still done?

i think lovely’s and sam’s situations r more similar than some ppl think— each person just looks back at their own turning w different lenses bcuz of the different response they both had to asking if they wanted to be turned (or, forced, in sam’s case.) lovely looks back on it as vincent saving them, while sam looks back on his as his right to being human stripped from him. and both of their views r valid.

also oops, u probably didn’t expect an essay on the tribulations of navigating consent in a vampiric world LMAO, sry abt the ramble. this has just been rattling in my head for awhile and i was talking abt it w my friend the other day. apologies for u hving to be on the receiving end of my word vomit!!!!! but thanks a bunch for the brain juice 🧃

[mrkis]

this is a submission written by ellie (@thetypingpup). you don't understand how fucking much i enjoy these reactions and how she feels reading twlg LMFAO. i have already read through and responded to her via discord (as she was kind enough to send this as soon as the final dropped) please enjoy reading this as much as i fucking did LMAO

The last federalist paper (for now lmao)

Good lord this is nerve wracking and emotional. I’m literally shaking as I’m typing this. But we’re here. We’re at the last part, and I’m writing my last condemnation of that man (unless i come up with more to say bc i probably will lmao). I’m gonna do the same thing as last time where i’m gonna write the reaction as an essay while I read, so somewhat intelligent, lots of screaming. *deep breath* ok here we go

Full disclosure, I have trust issues with these types of stories so I did skip to glance at the end first to see where this went, and so far all I have to say is huh…I did not see that coming.

Ok now to see how we got there.

Omg what’s this? Actual thoughts…ABOUT MC? Positive thoughts that aren’t just about sex?? What the fuck???? Omg i’m really taken aback by this so far holy shit. And omg not him being worried for mc? Is that worry on your face sir? Where’s all this coming from holy shit this is what i’ve been waiting for from him the whole time what? Fuck better late than never for that man, better late than never. Jeno’s right tho he is spending an awful lot of time with eunbin. Might wanna…might wanna address that sir.

I will say tho that scene with jeno is the first time we’re seeing the exclusive thing be acknowledged from mc’s side. Again better late than never. Treading a lot of ground in this part wow. Jeno’s the number one best friend so far here. 

This is just the chapter of surprises bc not that man is the one to be like “we need to talk”. Not mc being the avoidant one. Not me almost crying at that kiss scene. Which is crazy bc I read the spoiler, but in context it's a gut punch. This has been nothing but surprise after surprise so far. Wheeeeew that was a clusterfuck of emotions omfg why do I feel for both of them WHAT THE FUCK CAS WHAT THE FUCK???

"Jaemin feels conflicted." Bitch I feel conflicted bc there were some egregious bumps in the road before getting to this point with that man. I would know I wrote about them at length lmao. And I be if he had a gun to his head he still couldn’t list five of mc’s personality traits. Welp, let’s see how he atones for all that. 

“I wish I could pull an Eunbin and leave on a trip.” AND I OOP. ANNA OUUUUU. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW WHAT THE FUCK WOOOOOOOOOOOOW. Ok wow. Just….wooooooow. I can’t even say anything intelligent. The words are on the tip of my fingers, but all I can type is just….wooooooooow.

I’m loving the dynamic with the three besties too. Like yes mc is the main character, but i’m so glad the others have established storylines and the dynamic btw them is really fleshed out, and it’s all displayed so seamlessly through their interactions. It’s giving euphoria in the best ways.

“You hardly know anything about him, and that’s because he doesn’t let you” YES EXACTLY THANK YOU. oof there we go some acknowledgement. At the very least tho, mc knows some things. Surface level things, but still some things, things we've seen, which is still more than i can say for that man at this point. So far what do we got from him? Uhm…he likes the sex, he likes the emotional support, thinks you’re pretty, and…that’s what we got so far. Ah well, we’ll see how that changes leading to the end.

OMG YANGYANG MY MAN. MY BOY. the way i was internally screaming throughout that whole scene. Poor guy I feel bad for him, but i’m glad it was a blurting out of ‘hey actually i like you and i wouldn’t do that shit to you that he did’. As much as i personally would’ve loved to see that, i am glad that he respected her enough to keep that part to himself and just comfort her. Once again proving that he cares so fucking much about her omg. In another universe this would be a different canon event and these two would be together bc the tenderness? The care? The heart wrenching confession of ‘i love you’ whispered so quietly it could easily be lost to the wind? The tug on the heart strings? The way we got so much more of how he actually feels about mc than we ever got about that man in tens of thousands of words? The way all of this affection for her came through in a few paragraphs? *big sigh* in another universe. In another universe. Alright let’s see what’s going on with that man again fack.

Yeeeeeeees. This yangyang confrontation yaaaaaaaaaaaas. Bring it oooooooooooooon. Ah damnit he doesn’t beat his ass. He should’ve had one good punch in. nah but on some shit, dramatically, this is a perfect follow up to the previous scene. Yes he technically betrayed mc’s trust, but fuck it someone had to get the ball rolling, so it makes perfect scene. 

Ok i’ll admit, when that man’s heart sank when eunbin finally admitted her shit, i smiled. I smiled real big. I had a grinch smile on my face. Serves him fuckin right after everything that’s happened. Oh we cheered. Oh we cheered and clapped. More pain more heartache for that man he needs to suffer. I still don’t know why that man was spending so much time with her to begin with after he claimed to be done with her before, but at least that time is over. Oh wait a minute now what’s this? Acknowledgement? Self awareness? He finally figured out the problem with having eunbin around? Just surprise after surprise this chapter wow. 

“Do you realize you were the one that broke the rules first?” “Enough with that fucking name” GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME. GET HIM. WHACK HIM. DRAAAAAAAAG HIM. Wheeeeeew my head is spinning omfg. GET HIIIIIIIIIM. FINALLY oh my god you have no idea who cathartic this is. The way it still wasn’t her verbally agreeing at all, at any point, and just that man decided “hey we’re exclusive now” and still going along with it. Like what now she’s saying she agreed to this? Where was this before?? That does still bother me quite a bit I cannot lie. But still GET HIM AGAIN.

Ok here’s his apology. Hmmm…I feel like he’s got a lot more to apologize for (see previous essays lmao), and again besides the sex, the emotional support, and now a more apparent attraction, still don’t know what it is about her that he’s drawn to. Can he name those personality traits or do I need to grab the revolver? What is it that he likes as a person? As a human being? I guess that’s gonna be one of those unanswered questions. I guess that’s the way life goes.

The ending is very sweet tho don’t get me wrong. The love making is very sweet. The epilogue is very sweet. It’s very cathartic and really made me emotional to read. Now, is he still that man? Am I still his parole officer? What’s the verdict? Well I just finished the chapter and so far I have to say hmmm…I guess Jaemin is in the clear FOR NOW. He’s done his prison time. We’ll call this probation then. But I will be watching for him in the upcoming parts of this college series, and I’m more than prepared to make a citizens’ arrest if I have to I will be the first one to jump his ass.

Fuck this was…such a journey. This was such a fucking journey. And honestly this journey even transcends this work. Like yes this work is masterfully done, one of the most enriching immersive experiences I’ve ever had with a fic, but I already told you that lmao. Through this I joined the discord, met some incredible people and made some incredible friends. Through this I met you, and you’ve become such a special friend to me and I value our friendship so much. I appreciate the fuck out of it (see what i did there please clap). I’m proud of you Cassie, for putting in all this work, for seeing this through to the end, and for cultivating an incredible community with your amazing work. 

 I was going to end this with something cheesy like "the real way life goes was the friends we made along the way", but i'm moreso sitting there like the fish in bags in finding nemo all like...now what? Lmao will be tuning in for your future work!

[potionio]

15 questions, and no tags oops

Thank you for @druidberries for tagging me!! I needed something to do tonight so I v much appreciate it LMAO. Also i probably won’t be tagging anyone,  so if you read this and go ‘��aw shit I want to do this’’ i tagged you. I booped your WHOLE NOSE.

Are you named after anyone? Dead name? Nope! I do however have my mothers name as my middle-name! Out  of my chosen names I sure am and that’s a mystery I’m taking to the grave.

When was the last time you cried? Today, therapy was rough : )

Do you have kids? Nope! And I for SURE should not have them most likely, esp not now. Jury’s still out on them in the future but I am very horrified of the concept of pregnancy. Did become an auncle (see what i did there) at like- 9? So my niece and nephew have been raised as siblings to me-  do have a nephew who just turned 2 as well : ) !

Do you use sarcasm a lot? My friend group is sarcastic bastards who lovingly insult each other tbh

What sports do you play/have you played? I was super sporty as a child before I got asthma from mold,  SO uhh- Handball, dabbled in land-hockey, did some horse-back riding. Fucked around with badminton, also some forced football. Probs more bcs I LOVED fucking around and finding out in sports as a kid.

What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Trauma says height and body-strength baby. (also, hands. I don’t process faces super well but I do remember hands incredibly well if they stand out) Eye colour? BLUE. SO BLUE.

Scary movies or happy endings? See, I’d say Scream has BOTH. But I enjoy both forreal, depends on the day. I watch horror movies to chill so.

Any special talents? Uhh... I can draw eyes real good?

Where were you born? Stockholm, Sweden- because we can’t all have fortune in life.

What are your hobbies? Video games, video essays, art, history and religion uhh- honestly I have probs a lot of small things that have just become hobbies at this point. TTRPG’s is my BIGGEST one tho.

Do you have any pets? I have the dumbest dog named Frasse who probs will eat his own tiny stubby legs one day and the grumpiest bitchiest primadonna cat named Sunny. I’d die for both of them.

How tall are you? See, depends on if you ask my ID or my doctor <3 I’m 5′2 but my ID says 5′3 and it’ll stay that way.

Fave subject in school? I was a history and religious nerd all the fucking way. Also really enjoyed Chemistry!

Dream job? If I could tell you this I would probs be able to figure out wtf I want to study. Currently looking into getting a degree in archeology, something w culture and people probs? Or  religion?  Idk.  Growing up I wanted to be a mortician  (or medical examiner) or a marine biologist for the longest time!  Did go into game design instead :  ) !

[todayisafridaynight]

AYO I was just thinking about that fic... Sorry For Sucking And Not Writing In Yet but it had some really strong imagery so I totally get wanting to adapt parts of it... I think you should go for it if you want to but when have I ever not been all-in on an idea Lol...

Also do you think she remembers his name... do you think she feels sorry for him like he does her... do you think she just thinks of him as her asshole ex-boyfriend or something in between or outside of that...

LMAO S'ALL GOOD no needa stress bout writin in all the time, esp since i know you're real busy nowadays.. you've done more than enough to show your support for the stuff i do i think you can forgo an essay a time or two ♪(´▽｀) maybe if i dont know what to draw and im tired of workin on The Other Comic ill play round with scenes from it lol

i dont think ikumi has any ill will towards sawashiro- i mean if she did she'd be 1000% valid for it OOP but what little we saw of her, she doesnt seem the type to hold grudges. at least From What I've Seen (and what i know how my family and i tend to be), people who come from 'broken backgrounds' tend to internalize their anger or grief opposed to expressing it towards others, or they can at least forgive people quickly. when they were together, sawashiro might not have demonstrated the same grief she did at the time (maybe he dodged the topic entirely for However Long After they stayed together, but As An Audience we know that's his defense mechanism), so whether she feels bad for him or not isn't clear in my head. at the very least, she probably assumed he was handling it better than she was (not to be confused with apathy/indifference to the situation, if his consultation to her at the station is any indication to her that he was aware it was a tough situation)- which uhhhhh would turn out to be The Biggest Lie Ever LMAOOOO

i'd like to think she remembers his first name if anything...