#this happened at my ritual man he hates his dad's stupid song that

[plaquerat]

@littleguysdaily has such a fun template to play with

[sunnysynthsunshine]

7th Comedy Monologue

“Hey my Cheese bags I’m back from my adventure in 1985”

“No joke if you look it up

the timeframe of days for each month this year

are the exact same as they were in 1985”

So all this “80s revival stuff” with Duran Duran and Depeche Mode touring, Petshop Boys releasing a new album, a new generation falling in love with Queen and She-Ra while the world is being messed up by a tyrannical iron lady and a talking tangerine makes a bit of sense doesn’t it?”

Even though I was born in the 2000s I’ve always loved most of the media from that decade, the gothic and upbeat synthesizer music,the cheaply made but entertaining cartoons,the video games,the basic but stylish fashion,the musicals and John Hughes films,the mix of music genres in the charts,Goth,Synth,Punk,2 Tone,Post-Punk,New Wave,Glam Metal,Alternative,Shoegaze,Hip Hop,Electronica

I was watching Saved by the Bell  before Netflix even existed

Then again a lot of the shows from then were also being revived back in my day

Dal Winton was presenting game shows, Pingu replaced the scary walrus monsters with rap music, I watched or had VHS tapes of the Muppet show, Noddy, Postman Pat and Scooby Doo.

Scooby-Doo! Now that’s a show that never gets old because it never changes, anyone regardless of what generation they’re from would be able to tell you

“Oh Yeah, I remember Scooby Doo”

When you think about it Scooby Doo is quite philosophical

we are all just a gang going on our own adventures

that and the first few live-action movies are modern masterpieces

I was just browsing Twitter or Tumblr or literally anywhere on the internet only to see that screencaps were taken from the live action Scooby Doo interviews had turned into memes

*ahem*

Well,I was auditioning for the role of Velma, I could sense from the way Matthew Lillard just fully encompassed the role of Shaggy, it felt like he was Shaggy, he was our saviour as he felt his spiritual energy increase, that’s when I knew we were working with a legend

Something like that although Matthew isn’t too fond of the memes himself specifically the ones where his spiritual connections are described more like demon possession rituals

*ahem*

“Being Shaggy has led me down a path of death and destruction. I’ve killed many mortals in hope of replicating 1% of Shaggy’s being, by the end of filming I hope to become one with him”

In which Matthew responded with

*deadpan voice*

This is wrong

I mean I might also have inspirations where I feel like I can philosophically connect with them, in their performing style and personality but that’s where I draw the line

Personality?  That’s a tricky subject

You could say some people have consistent personalities

People said Freddie Mercury and David Bowie were party animals who were incredible on stage with their charisma, creativity and charm but other sources have said they were relaxed, laid back people who were shy when being interviewed.

That could just be the contrast between their onstage and offstage personas but not all of us have that, even if we are all  just actors in a play, hoping each day goes the right way

Some of us are punk, even if we don’t explicitly say that we are, or have the stereotypical style associated with it,a lot of us just try to be ourselves,some of us can enjoy reality shows and horror movies at the same time,some of us can enjoy One Direction and Gorillaz,some of us can love fashion but also love memes, Theatre, and 1980s aesthetics

I’d say I’m the same but sometimes my personality is all over the place

I can go from being cheerful, relaxed and happy to being dazed and clumsy or cynical or entranced and hyper-fixated to Pessimistic and Cold to Quiet and Timid to Mellow and Loud   what personality traits you associate with me, however, is up to your own conclusion

call me any internet subculture stereotype and I’d be able to tell you about how I either, unfortunately, was the stereotype or I hung around people who were those stereotypes

if you said I was someone who watched Cbbc and citv you’d be right

if you said I was a classic rock enthusiast years ago and now you’d be right

if you said I used to be a cringy anime enthusiast  you’d be right

if you said I was one of those theatre kids who watched Disney sitcoms you’d be right

if you said I was one of those meme posters who referenced movies like Shrek and bee movie you’d be right

Another thing punks did was and sometimes still do was creating fanzines, magazines related to their favourite band or tv show or their own opinions on what’s going in the world, nowadays you could say social media has replaced that, but publications like the Daily Mirror, The Sun and TMZ still have a presence on there,I’d say fanzines should have a revival.

The BAFTA’s also happened recently and I wasn’t impressed, then again when are awards shows anything other than beauty pageants for films anyway?

Some films deserved their awards, but some films barely got a mention, Paddington 2 wasn’t included in there or in any of the other film awards this year and Stan and Ollie got nothing…

A darn shame because that film was so well made, it felt authentic, while Stan and Ollie also have a bit of a universal following, there are still some people who probably don’t know who they are!

Before Walliams and Lucas, Before the Two Ronnies, Before Richie and Eddie

There was…Laurel and Hardy

Two moustached blokes, who in the 20s and 50s would just try to delight audiences the best way they could, through slapstick and laughter, without them, most of the world’s double acts wouldn’t exist and even Spongebob wouldn’t exist

Yep, you heard me right, all those misadventures Spongebob and Patrick would have, they were loosely based on the adventures of Laurel and Hardy, except instead of it being about a tall British man and a fat American it was about an anthropomorphic sponge and a dumb but caring starfish.

Speaking of Spongebob, there was some sad news involving Spongebob not too long ago

The creator of Spongebob, Stephen Hillenburg…had passed away from ALS

I know, it’s awful,stupid motor neuron diseases and stupid Adam Levine too,for those who don’t know there was an episode of Spongebob called Band Geeks where they ended the episode with the cast playing a song called Sweet Victory over a Superbowl type of event, for the actual super bowl Spongebob fans around the world petitioned for that song to be played in tribute for Stephen,however we got Adam Levine singing a different song instead….what a letdown

If it wasn’t for SpongeBob I and some of the rest of the new generation, wouldn’t know half the old music or old films we know now.

To let down millions of fans like that makes me sick

Honestly, I was a bit sick a few weeks ago, I’ve been sick before and hospitalized twice but this particular moment of sickness was odd

It was like any other night, I was trying to get some sleep and lucid dream, but then it happened, the shivers, the shakes the trembling aches,

Out of nowhere, I felt like an ice-cube stuck in a microwave, It was too cold but it was too warm, I eventually got to sleep but when I got up the next morning I felt sick again, sorry for disclosing those details but it was like the exorcist…

Usually, when I’m sick watching documentaries, Kitchen Nightmares or 90s films weirdly cheers me up

Speaking of films, Rocketman the Elton John movie is out and it actually looks good

It’s being directed by the guy who was the replacement director for Bo Rhap and if it ends up being brilliant I won’t be surprised, the trailer gave off Velvet Goldmine vibes, the style of composed cinematography and I’m sounding like Film Twitter, Isle of Dogs was a good film…oh wait it wasn’t acknowledged much by the award shows either.

Another amazing film I recently watched was Rocky Horror…I know I’ve mentioned it before but that was when I only knew the sequel and some of the soundtrack,

It was amazing, it was brilliant, it was fantastic, it was out of this world,

ah! Rocky Horror was splendid

I definitely now understand why it’s still going strong to this day

It’s that hybrid of rock and roll, optimistic nihilism and soft aesthetics

That just works for me, another thing I’ve remembered was that Richard O’ Brien played the dad in Phineas and Ferb, well that explains that part of me liked that cartoon for the music and some of the characters but other characters did my head in like that Isabel character

“Hey, Phineas what ya dooing?”

“How about you let me finish my invention and you mind your own business”

Oof that’s too harsh…but considering aspects of the marvel Phineas and Ferb crossover were surprisingly a bit sexist at times outdated for the show that is usually quite progressive in its representation and characters…it’s probably accurate

Another person who hasn’t changed but is also often harsh, Piers Morgan, a little tweety bird told me he had a mysterious illness, good riddance I’d say, he’s the new Noel Edmonds, the presenter who used to be ok but now is unbearable…because he never shuts up

Thankfully though he’s “taking a break” from GMB that will rest our eardrums

Russell Brand has also been in the tabloids again, even though he’s more focused on his Buddhist spiritual recovery enlightening, looking back he wasn’t as bad as people described him, yeah at times he was a bit too over the top,but he was and is quite an ok bloke, but I’d say temporarily banning tickling is a bit of a stretch,

when you think about the number of people who disrespect our literal and figurative personal space on a daily basis, it kinda makes a bit of sense,

whether your sensory sensitive or not, I’m sure you hate it, when people are too touchy at times

although years ago I would’ve been a bit of an ignorant hypocrite about that

Hating it when crowds of kids would chase me like how the paparazzi chase their next gossip target, yet often annoyingly running up to people to talk to or entertain them.

I really need to learn to enjoy loneliness more because I get some of my best ideas when alone, but emotionally I feel a lot better when around others, a bit of an Ambivert really,

I’m sorry I can be a bit all over the place, I’m trying to make my energy more manageable

as that lucid dreaming thing has been misused at times,

I shouldn’t let myself be controlled…

by anyone or anything..no overthinking, no overworking,

treat the world as your stage, start your first act, motivated and ready, take your recharging interval breaks and then move on for your second act

fancy that me an ex-drama student making that metaphor when my current course  involves digitally drawing art, editing audio and sitting at a computer for most of the day

But then again just because someone shows good charisma that doesn’t always mean their a good person.

Ted Bundy, one of America's most notorious serial killers used charisma and charm in his court cases, and with the amount of fangirls giving him fanmail it was like the Beatles fandom but for people with Stockholm syndrome,and now with Netflix’s documentary and Troy from High School Musical in an upcoming film about him, that seems to be repeating itself…

*Alien voice* Ted Bundy the 1960s called they want your fangirls back!

One show I know you probably haven’t heard of is The Boondocks, a south park esque cartoon with an anime esque art style, referencing the social commentary of African American culture and media, celebrating some aspects while critiquing others, through the lenses of a socialist boy named Huey Freeman, his rapper wannabe brother Riley and their activist grandad Robert.

This show was quite revolutionary,it referenced the issue of each episode quite well, even though it only lasted 4 seasons, however, because the show is quite American, apart from the animation which is done in Korea,The Boondocks is not well known in the UK, which is a shame because it is a really good show that still holds up…however, it does fall under one mousetrap that most other adult cartoons fall into….

Because of the references to violence,innuendo and other dark subject matter sometimes referenced in a satirically humorous way,some audiences  would just watch the show because it’s offensive thinking that the show was made just to be offensive..instead of what the show was actually made for..which was to give social commentary on the issues relevant to African American communities in America.

I had watched this show years ago, it only just came back on my radar, because the creator Aaron McGruder, who based the show off his webcomic of the same name, had recently made a new issue.

There’s a difference between being satirical and being offensive

Your either making fun of something bad that a system or people are doing to make people aware of how stupid and sad the world can be at times,subjectively making fun of a stereotype, or your an arse who thinks they’re a comedian when they waste their time on social media, thinking they’re amazing and funny when they’re holding up the line at Mcdonald’s and the only people laughing at their jokes are gammon and people who found Bernard Manning funny

“Oh Wait”

I know sometimes I have unpopular opinions such as how my views of someone dip depending on their views of Kanye West

and sometimes I can be a bit snarky, and I hate and love stuff in equal amounts, but we need a bit of that don’t we, if we bottle it all up we explode like volcanos, but if we overshare too much, we crash like out of control cars

It’s all about moderation, salt is a tasty condiment but eat too much of it and your arteries will get clogged,

A few days back it was the day Mark Ashton passed away, for those who don’t know,he was an LGBT activist in the 80s,he volunteered with organizations such as the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament,he and the other activists helped to support the miners during the miner strike, creating the LGSM Alliance,Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners,there was a film made about them too, called Pride,but what some people don’t know is that….Mark Ashton was Northern Irish…he was one of us..he was the Marsha P Johnson of our time..if we were a bit like Mark Ashton this country would be a slightly more accepting place, why don’t we give love!

Let’s move on, plant more flowers in our garden..I know I sound like a hippie but it’s true, our Celtic Summerland is being used as a cesspool for Nuclear Waste

Oi! use your own bins, not the place we’re living in, pick up your rubbish and clean up your own mess…

The 80s were telling us something with all those protect and survive adverts, yes some of us were prepared as the older generation made us alert, others couldn’t recognize that a lot of innocent people were getting hurt.

When we say we want a 1980s comeback we want the music, clothes, games and  films,

but Nope

while we have some of that the 1980s revival we get is the one that involves Nuclear Danger and the ghost of Margaret Thatcher

All these TV and Film revivals, some are cool others are just unnecessary  Do we really need a Snow White sequel? No, we don’t but we did get one even if it was unofficial

Back in 2007 a French animation company made a sequel to Snow White which was also a bit like Shrek in how it satirised the fairy tale tropes, how Prince Charming feels like he is objectified while he ends up doing the same thing to the female characters, quite a tosser but that’s the point of the parody to point out the flaws with fairy tale logic, and to put the likes of Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella in more realistic scenarios.

…it’s strange, weird but brilliant too

The English dub had quite a few familiar faces doing the character voices

Stephen Fry as the narrator, Morwenna Banks, Simon Greenall and another British actor

Rik someone...

Ah! I remember his name now, he was in many successful sitcoms in the 80s and 90s,he was a legend, he knew how to keep people laughing, whether they were children, adults, teenagers,

in television, theatre, film or music

quite an eclectic range of talent

Although

I’m a new fan, I might adore his work, but I had just learnt his name 2 years ago, whereas, with other fans, they have created their own work, such as Charlie Brooker and Simon Pegg… some were able to meet him…lucky...

Some encounters were quite interesting, I had heard someone’s nan got to meet him in the 90s but she got his name wrong so she ended up saying

“‘oh hello can I have your autograph please Mr mayo?’

Well that happened, she probably still got that autograph,...

And somewhere up there, Rik Mayall is thinking of us, he, Stephen Hillenburg and David Bowie are probably chatting away

Let’s make the lord of misrule proud

[aod4909]

One through thirty (if you can) for the "Hi, I'm not from the US" ask set :D ♥

Wow let me make some tea first*makes tea and sips it dramatically*here we go!damn, this took a while to write… mostly because I spent 2hours laughing at anecdotes but…

I HOPE YOU ARE PREPARED!

1. favourite place in your country? I’m honestly incapable of picking.

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad? HOLIDAYS ARE TO BE SPEND WITH FAMILY, GO TO CHURCH AND EAT YOU LITTLE SHIT! xD But what about summe-ORTHODOX CHURCH HAS THAT COVERED TOO

3. does your country have access to sea?

4. favourite dish specific for your country? most would go with souvlaki and gyros but I’ll go with most things they serve in fish taverns x)

5. favourite song in your native language? I don’t listen to Greek music like at all :| a shame really cause we have a lot of amazing musicians. I’ll go with Κάγκελα Παντού  by Πανούσης (who passed recently, may he raise hell wherever he is ♥) It’s that one song that most people know. Back on September at art exams we were hanging in the cafeteria and my friend started singing it and the entire place joined him x) or those who were over 25 and their parents’ was listening to it cause it’s old af…

6. most hated song in your native language? the majority of them? XDDDD Idk I really fucking hate everything that’s popular here… then again I pretty much hate what’s popular everywhere but whatever x)

7. three words from your native language that you like the most? ντιβανοκασέλα ειμαρμένη ταλανίζω and all the new words we keep making every day like my own word for coat racks “καμπαρντινοκαπελιέρα”

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom? Idk what image you get when you think greek people but let me tell you we are diverse af… Like my friend is dark skinned with black hair, deep brown eyes and busy eyebrows (prob what you would imagine) but I’m white as milk with brown hair that turns reddish/yellowish in the sun and brown eyes, my grandma has blue\purple eyes (fuck my DNA) my cousin has green eyes and light brown hair (fuck my DNA στο τετράγωνο), my other friend is a redhead… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ What I usually hear from my people is that they were told that they don’t look “Greek enough”

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best? I’ve been to Bulgaria so far and I’d like to visit Constantinople some day. What? It’s called Istanbul these days? No, in Greece it.is.not.

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language? You’ve heard about how spanish is amazing for swearing? Greek is too! (για να λέμε την αλήθεια σα το ελληνικό το μπινελίκι άλλο τίποτα, καθαρίζ’ η ψυχή ‘ς) And we swear a motherfucking lot… and we have great imagination too

11. favourite native writer/poet? I still feel school is too fresh and I kinda “hate” everything we studied and it’s a freaking shame… I’ll pick Ευγένιος Τριβιζάς who writes children’s books because I can still read them and enjoy them! And he made my childhood better!

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem? I kinda believe that poetry can’t be translated…Like when I read Poe in greek it sounds silly to me even though the translation is pretty good… the words don’t have the same meaning, you know…But that could be just me… I mean I’m learning Polish so I can one day read the witcher books properly xD

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

We celebrate name days! birthdays too but name day is more important cause the church said so. (and if your parents dared give you a name that is not a name God himself would give you, and most importantly if it isn’t the name of your grandma or grandpa (even if they already have three grandchildren named after them) bitch think again we are gonna call you Maria now! or Eleni/Yannis/Giorgos.

If someone says something like “tomorrow your parents are gonna die what will you do?” you hit the wood to avoid jinx (often the person who says it hits the wood as they say it…)

Friday the 13th is a normal day to us! It’s Tuesday the 13th that is unlucky (cause that’s when Constantinople fell)

If in a conversation two people say the same word at the same time you gotta say “touch red” and you have to touch something red… idk why….

Talismans! to protect you from the evil eye, or bring good luck. They are usually a small eye shaped thing or crosses but it can be anything that has been blessed :P I know mothers who got pens from the church that were blessed so their kid would pass the exams T________T

Now if you do get the evil eye (like if someone was looking at you and talked/thought a lot about you (good or bad) and you get a headache you pretty much call your grandma for “ξεμάτιασμα”. It’s a ritual of shorts that you put water in a small cup and cross it repeatedly while you say a prayer and put drops of olive oil in it. And the oil will either stay in drops or dissolve in the water… the person who does the whole thing starts yawning during it and they then get the headache the other person had. My uncle calls my grandma EVERY.SIGNLE.DAY. Oh and you have to learn that prayer on a specific day. Only women can learn it and they have to write it down and give it to a man to give it to the woman that wants to learn it or some shit?!?!?!?

also grandmas tend to cross you and spit (they don’t actually spit they pretend …some do spit actually) on you so nothing bad will happen to you

We also tend to spit ourselves if someone speaks of misfortune…

Did you sneeze? Someone is talking about you :^) Ask someone to tell you 3 numbers put them together and count the alphabet. The letter is the first of the name of the person who’s talking about you.

Did someone come to your house and you want him gone? No problem get some salt and sprinkle it behind them!

Is that a priest? Kiss his hand! But wait! Is he on the street?? Σκόρδα! (garlic)

Actually, say σκόρδα!! whenever something bad is said and you’re good

Are your palms itchy? Great!!! You’ll get money!

Is your nose itchy? You’ll get beaten…

Is it christmas or easter? You gotta call ALL your relatives! yes and that ninth cousin you haven’t seen since you were 5. Btw Easter is the most important holiday of the year and we celebrate it on a different day than the rest of the world cause fuck you we know better XD (idk what the actual reason is I’m not religious) oh and there’s a 40day fast before the easter binge!

There are SO MANY superstitions and traditions in this country it should be illegal!!! And everywhere you go they have more and more and more and jesus fucking christ Y____Y in villages they tend to get annoying pretty fast.

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV? I don’t watch tv or movies, but I know of two pretty good comedies atm.There used to be so many amazing shows that I will keep rewatching till I die!S1ngles gotta be my fave ♥ and it’s been 10 years since it ended ;__;

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?that will be 90% of them? But here are some not so funny? I found…

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

I’ve heard that we are lazy.

Well let me tell you that my grandfather started working when he was 7years old. He was working every day, weekends too! All day and on holidays! And I’m talking hard work here, building houses. He also got mostly deaf from an accident at work and the bones on his right hand started to… idk what it is but it’s from too much work and he needs painkillers (He was never paid extra for that btw) Now he “retired” the government gives him enough money to pay bills, taxes and live for 15 days… he is 82 years old and he still works with no insurance now of course, so he can pay doctors and get through the rest of the month.My mum is a chemist. She leaves for work at 7:30 in the morning and comes back anywhere between 18:00 to 20:00 (depends how fucked up are the roads are today :^) sometimes she works on Saturdays, she is owed around 2k euros from her job and over a month in days-off and whenever she gets them they call her at home to ask her questions cause apparently nobody there knows how to do the job! Oh, she also does private math/physics/chemistry lessons to students after work so she can come home at 22:00 and then cook :^)My dad is officially unemployed (but still has to pay income taxes!!!! cause this is Greece! and shit like that make sense!) and he works with no insurance at my uncle’s store. He also often works on Saturdays.And my family is doing kinda “ok”

Then you have those fucks that sit on their chair all day long, playing Farmville and get overpaid for it, or they just steal it ;P In fact our government consist solely of such fucks!

Now guess who everyone sees and says “all greeks are like that!” I heard that we blame Germany or anyone else that isn’t us. I heard that we don’t value our money or shit.Well, there are a lot of people like that, here and everywhere. The problem is that stupid people are loud af… So you only get to hear them and their stupid opinions that they pulled out of their asses.

A small part of me was glad Trump was elected, cause now yall Americans know what it’s like :\

17. are you interested in your country’s history? yes and no? It’s been shoved down my throat so much that I need a long break before it gets interesting again… I’m mostly interested in ancient Greece.  Byzantium is the most boring shit I’ve ever had the displeasure to study and more recent history… I could be interested but boy school made it that way that whenever I hear the name Ελευθέριος Βενιζέλος I want to throw up.Plus the whole thing “our ancestors made this and that and I today should get credit for” pisses me the fuck off

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?  Sometimes, my mum is from the Serres(North) and if I go there I’m from Athens! but when I’m here and something slips they look at me funny like where are you from?

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem? Our flag is ok I guess :P Our anthem is beautiful but I don’t like the tune… don’t tell anyone they’re gonna kill me, I lack patriotism tbh…at least compared to everyone here XD

20. which sport is The Sport in your country? Football I guess? In my house it’s basketball. sports and I never heard of each other…

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be? *cough* Τα γαμημένα σεμεδάκια της γιαγιάς που είναι πάνω στη τηλεόραση… και τη Βουλή. *cough*

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?Our compassion makes me proud ♥ Like with the refuges- and when I say “we” I don’t mean the government. I mean the everyday people who barely get by themselves and will still share what little they have with those in need.

And then there isthose people. The stupid, lazy, racist, egotistical etc, pieces of shit… That tend to be all those things together at the same time

One thing that is certain in this forsaken country is that the good, hard working people, the innocent and those who follow the rules and respect everyone are those who will be cheated, taken advantage of, beaten to the ground, get punished and suffer. The heartless bastards will be given a praise and a raise.

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country? We have some good wine here ;) and Ouzo and my fave Tsipouro, cause it does the job and smells amazing.

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country? Well…. everyone?? xD I’m sorry

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country? Sometimes… I love my country, I love the land itself, the people, our culture sometimes gets on my nerves… and it hurts me so unbelievably much how this it is treated… but it’s mine you know? Even if I often feel like I don’t really belong here… And even though I would love to live abroad I doubt I could… I would just miss us…και η πίτα της γιαγιάς με κούριερ δε λέει ρε

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

I don’t really watch many movies so I wouldn’t know what little they say about us… but like they usually get some shots of a club with people partying non-stop on an island and that is true… non-stop parties for tourists is how they stay alive :P

27. favourite national celebrity? Μαρία Σολωμού  I love that woman and her hair ♥ and her voice and face and personality ;-; She’s been my celebrity crush since I was a kid

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites? a lot of all of the above and no I don’t have faves, I haven’t even seen half of them.

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country? Look… if you find one place in the entire country that doesn’t have a beef with someone it’s probably in Crete and that’s because they killed them.

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family?If by family you mean close relatives, no. But if you mean it the greek way… yes quite a few… but I don’t pay attentions when my grandma tells me the family news x)

THAT WAS LONG AF. AND TOOK ME HOURS but it was fun lol If you read it congratulations! If i made mistakes… fuck you I ain’t reading it again XD

[whoinwhoville]

10 Fandom Ladies Meme

Thank you for tagging me, @blueboxesandtrafficcones!

Some of these will be from years past (fandoms I no longer participate in), some current. All of them made an impression. (These are not in order.)

1. Elizabeth Bennett, Pride & Prejudice

I think the reason I love her the most of all is because she loves her wacky (sometimes unhealthy) family unconditionally. Some modern people might say that she isn’t practicing self-care, but I see her actions as unselfish and loving. And in the end, she doesn’t deny herself happiness. I prefer this version of P&P, but for nostalgia reasons. It aired on A&E the month before my wedding. Gives me the happy, goosebumpy feels.

2. Princess Leia/General Leia, Star Wars

It was 1977, I was in 4th grade, and girls “shouldn’t be Star Wars fans.” It was a rainy November day in Seattle when Dad and I stood in line for 3 hours. You know how hard it was to convince my parents to let me see a PG movie? They didn’t know anything about it. No google of course. But I begged enough, I suppose, and they gave in.

I don’t know that anything can be said that hasn’t be said already. Loved her in A New Hope. Adored her in Empire. Jedi? She was the Big Damn Hero. Force Awakens? Perfection. The thought of saying goodbye to one of my first heroes in a few weeks is going to hurt.

3. Maria Von Trapp, The Sound of Music

Once a year, The Sound of Music aired on television. That was one of the few days I was allowed to stay up late. Sometimes it was show at Christmas, sometimes, at Easter. And for weeks after, my friends and I would “play” SoM. We fought over who got to be Maria, and who had to be the Captain. We learned the Laendler. We sang every word to every song by heart.

4. Major - Lt. Col. Sarah “Mac” MacKenzie, J.A.G.

Never mind that JAG was sometimes ridiculous (no one gets to be stationed one place as long as these two were HAHAHAHA. If only!) this was MY show. This was the first show that I officially joined an online fandom for. Spoiler checking became a daily ritual. Talk about UST! Harm and Mac almost burned a hole in the TV screen every single week. And their romantic choices? TERRIBLE! A lot of fans had major hate for the show runner, because he said some awful things about our OTP. (Not unlike disdain for the Moffster.) Why set up the very intentional mutual pining there was no intention of resolving it? And don’t get me started on the magic fortune cookie hallucination episode where they got married, and then divorced. It was like he was torturing them, and us, for his own evil pleasure. Even gave a strange will-they-won’t-they ending. But still through all of that, I adored her.

5. Donna Noble, Doctor Who

I won’t talk about her ultimate fate. I want to remember her as the vibrant, sassy, wonderful, brave, loving, kind, best friend that the Doctor could ever have. Like Leia, everything that could be said about Donna has been said. Just know that she is one of my favorite characters. Ever. And don’t you forget it, Sunshine!

6. Lady Violet Crowley, Downton Abbey

I’m just going to list quotes.

”Oh, it is you! I thought it was a man in your clothes.” - To Lady Mary after she got her hair cut into a 1920s bob.

 “I wonder your halo doesn’t grow heavy. It must be like wearing a tiara around the clock.” - To do-gooder Isobel.

Isobel Crawley: “How you hate to be wrong.” Dowager Countess: “I wouldn’t know, I’m not familiar with the sensation.”

“Last night, he looked so well. Of course it would happen to a foreigner. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else’s house.” - On the death of Turkish diplomat Kemal Pamuk while visiting the Abbey. 

“When you talk like that, I’m tempted to ring for Nanny and have you put to bed with no supper.” - To her son Robert when he was upset about Matthew making Mary his sole heiress.

“Edith, you are a Lady, not Toad of Toad Hall.”

7. Ellie Miller, Broadchurch

Ellie Miller is one of those characters with so much depth, a thousand years of episodes could never flesh her out completely. Ellie will go down as one of the best TV characters ever.

8. Jyn Erso, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

A legend was born when Jyn Erso appeared on the screen. I rarely cry in movies. I cried when she died. Her bravery and selflessness is an inspiration to all of us in these troubled times. (Don’t go blowing anything up!!!!!!) I’m talking about her giving everyone HOPE. We may not see the good come about, but we have to work as if we will. It may be generations later, but we must work for the good to come, for the future to be brighter and filled with goodness and love and justice.

9. Martha Jones, Doctor Who

True confession time. I didn’t like Martha Jones for quite a while. I was stupid and blind and couldn’t see the real woman. I couldn’t see past her crush. I couldn’t see past the fact that Rose was gone. And then I started to think about her more clearly after I read the truly wonderful fic, “An Amazing Event in Time and Space” by Aldanon. (No one can tell me fic doesn’t matter.) I believe that Martha is one of the Doctor’s most important companions ever. She put up with so much CRAP that it’s amazing she didn’t force a regeneration on the Doctor herself. She is just so so loyal and brave and bright and patient. I adore Martha Jones.

10. Rose Tyler, Doctor Who

I saved the best for last.

Do you have that one character that you see on the screen, or read in a book, that just speaks to you right from the start? Someone that doesn’t grow on you, but just makes your heart beat faster because you want the best for them? Want to know them completely? Rose Tyler. She’s it for me. She’s represents 99% of us. We go to work, go to school, change that diaper yet again, pay those bills, do what we can to just make our way through the world. We are happy, but still unsettled. Haven’t lost hope, but still know there is more out there to know. Not discontent, but itchy. We are petty, kind, irritable, selfless, loving, crave love...

I’m so glad I met her.

Honorable Mention, not because they aren’t favorites:

Emma Swan (Once Upon a Time), Rey (Star Wars), Wonder Woman, Regina/Evil Queen (Once Upon a Time - when she’s evil, she’s the best at being the worst!), Daisy (Downton Abbey), Anna Bates (Downton Abbey),

Tagging time: @kelkat9 @helplesslynerdy @goingtothetardis @chocolatequeennk @emkaywho @bittie752 @buffyann23 @countessselena @caedmonfaith @jeeno2 @ktrosesworld @lastbluetardis @hanluvr @itsonlythesoaps @jellyneau-xo @pir8grl @tkross @veritascara

Anyone else, but as always, everyone, please tag me so I can see your answers!!

[theuntamednarrator]

#OH NO!#see this is why mxy is such a problem#bc i so want to give him a happy ending#but the one thing i have zero ability to handle is messing with wwx's in any way#quite the pickle you have created for us mo-gongzi#my solution is that nhs skips the whole ghost blade scavenger hunt thing and just goes to lwj with a well-cited dossier#of Reasons Jgy is a Terrible Person#and then they and newly-resurrected wwx go hold him down and force him to do the soul summoning spell to resurrect mxy#(we'll ignore the 'the sacrificed soul is destroyed forever' thing and say it was inaccurate or smth)#this is obviously a little borderline but nhs and wei 'remember what i did to wen chao?' wuxian would do it hands down#and i think balanced against his friend mxy's life and also the knowledge jgy had ruined wwx's lan wangji could be convinced to like#at least go stand outside even if he didn't want to participate himself#like you said he's not about to let his friend slip through his fingers again#he needs that second chance to say 'i'm sorry' and 'i care about you too'#so we have wwx in mxy's body and mxy in jgy's#ofc the sect world is unaware of any of this and could present a problem if things are revealed the wrong way#so mxy just ... acts as the jin sect leader#and like do people think it's weird that jgy got a personality transplant?#and suddenly is actually nice instead of pretend-terrible-nice?#sure but ... like no one's complaining#so mxy is just the chief cultivator now apparently#what about qin su? lxc? do they ever clear wwx's name?#did jgy make a wish to seal the soul summoning? is it terrible?#that's for someone else to figure out i've already typed too many tags lol#(... i guess i should've put this in the body of the rebagel so ppl could more easily add on)#(sorry friends pls copy them and forgive my sins)#mxy#lwj#jgy#fic rec tags from @carolyncaves

Thank you!! C’mon people we can do this! I do like the thought of making jgy pay for his crimes against mxy as well as nmj, and mxy as sect leader would be fabulous (also lmao ‘personality transplant’). I just can’t see lwj doing it against his brother’s wishes?

This is my problem! Stupid brain just went but surely lwj must have met mxy? especially if he heard the rumours about him? Like, the man was so lonely even before wwx’s death. He was ready to run off with xxc and song lan five minutes after meeting them because ‘omg! I’m not alone!’ It just spiraled dammit.

So now I’m leaning towards the following:

They did love each other, a lot, but at some point realised it wasn’t romantic (maybe both of them just hoped it was because that would have been easier)

Soul Swap goes ahead and while lwj is thrilled to have wwx back he is also devastated at losing his best friend (his only friend, really, because he only ever had his brother and wwx)

Post Guanyin Temple when they have a moment to breathe wwx sits lwj down for a talk because ‘hey, mxy left me some notes and, well, craziest thing but you wouldn’t happen to be in love with me?’

lwj is still very sad about his friend, especially because he knows the soul would have been destroyed in the ritual, and he says as much

wwx does his little nose scratch like ‘well, see about that....’ and then goes on to explain that really those notes were very experimental and shouldn’t have been used and he was in a really bad place when he thought about using it and the side effects might not be quite what he suggested...

And lwj is like, wei ying I love you and I never thought I would think you were not saying ENOUGH but dear GOD spit. it. out

Turns out that mxy’s soul probably wasn’t destroyed because he didn’t do the ritual for hateful/vengeful reasons (or at least not wholly) - he did it for love which means his soul wouldn’t be destroyed. lwj is comforted, a little

Then a year later they visit lotus pier and meet the newest addition to jiang cheng’s brood because yes i am still on my dad!cheng train i will die on this train and i will insert it wherever possible

They take one look into the baby’s soft, grey eyes, watch his tiny chubby fingers grip lwj’s hand and they know

Cue seven chapters of utterly hilarious unstoppable-force-bitch!lwj meets immovable-object-dad!cheng before they decide actually since mxy seriously lucked out in the dad department first time around he can have THREE dads this time, as a treat

jc draws the line at him being a lan though because no kid of his is going to wear that headband I’ve SEEN what the two of you do with that thing and I am SCARRED

lsz is the most DOTING big brother. baby!mxy is stupidly spoiled

so my brain made me sad with lan wangji related au angst and I need a happy ending please help

So after Nightless City and his seclusion Lan Wangji is going where the chaos is. Sure. Of course, we know this

But sometimes his brother needs him to come along for sect business right? And he hates it but it’s his brother so he goes

And these trips, lots of them are probably to JinLinTai. Jin Guangyao is Lan Xichen’s sworn brother and his dad is chief cultivator. They’ve gotta be visiting semi-regularly

Which means - Lan Wangji must have met Mo Xuanyu. Imagine the first time he claps eyes on him. Probably across a banquet hall.

He’s sitting there, ignoring these sect leaders he hates, when he sees something, sees someone. Wild hair in a ponytail, gray eyes, big smile, right when he’d given up hope

Surely not?

Surely not here of all places. He’d come to Gusu wouldn’t he? Or if not, if that’s too much to hope, to Lotus Pier then?

But Lan Wangji could swear he, no, he does sense it. Sees the faint tendrils of resentful energy

So he corners the other man, and closer up he can see it’s not Wei Ying of course not, he knew it wasn’t, would know his wei ying anywhere

But he’s a young man, practically an orphan, one who smiles to hide his pain and pretends the vicisous rumours don’t hurt him

A young man trying to find a place for himself in a sect with a father who really isn’t, and a step-mother who resents his presence. A young man throwing himself into Demonic Cultivation because he doesn’t see another way to earn his place, and he wants to support his not-quite-brother. A young man who wants and wants and wants but who has never felt good enough

And Lan Wangji well; he failed once. Maybe it’s too late to have no regrets but maybe he can have less regrets. One less regret. He can have a second chance maybe. Maybe he can help

Now Mo Xuanyu, unlike Wei Wuxian, is willing to listen because hello! that’s HANGUANG-JUN speaking. Speaking to him

So they become friends, or maybe more than that. Maybe they love each other. Maybe Lan Wangji starts to heal a little, maybe Mo Xuanyu gets to see him smile

Except Lan Wangji doesn’t say anything because of course he doesn’t for heaven’s sake lan zhan USE YOUR WORDS

Meanwhile all Mo Xuanyu can think of is how Lan Wangji used to talk about Wei Wuxian, when they first became friends. Spoke about him as a warning of the risks of the demonic path, sure, but Mo Xuanyu isn’t stupid. He knew, he could tell. So he doesn’t say anything either. He’s happy just being Lan Wangji’s friend, happy knowing Hanguang-jun is like him

But the Jiggy bullshit still goes down because this is JinLinTai we’re talking about that place is a cesspool so of course it does

Which means Mo Xuanyu still has his breakdown but accelerated now (because no way Lan Wangji doesn’t go charging in there the minute he hears what happened to sweep his friend off to Gusu)

And in a final desperate act Mo Xuanyu decides to bring Wei Wuxian back.

Not just for vengeance this time, but for love. Because if Mo Xuanyu can’t have the man he loves then at least Lan Wangji can. He can make that happen. He can fix it. He owes them that for what his family did to them

So even before Lan Wangji sweeps in to rescue the juniors, before he hears Wangxian from a badly cut bamboo flute, he already has skin in this game

Because please, please no. Not again he can’t be too late again to slow again

[overhere-series]

Over Here: Chapter Six

Here’s the next chapter! Going to try and have this next one up on Wednesday, though I’m getting busy with work again in this new month and school is going to come collect. I have until May 5th to have a good amount of this book ready for my senior project, though- means more prose for you folks! 

Cass doesn’t crawl all the way to the end of the tunnel this time, tucked out of sight but able to get a good look at whatever might go down. Worst case scenario, she can pounce out of here to save her guide if he does something stupid. She still can’t tell what best case scenario might be, though.

Still, too late to think too much on how dumb this all feels, spying on a bird who’s not a bird as he visits a horse that’s not a horse.

Winston kneels at the edge of the pool as the thing inside rages at him, screaming and stamping as he sits without even a twitch. He listens, patient, but the fragment doesn’t have much to actually say, it looks like.

“I’m terribly sorry for the state we left things in, but we’re perfectly willing to give you any help you need,” he replies to the roars, a calm in his voice that makes it almost deeper somehow. Definitely a few steps below his usual cracky lilt.

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT. IF YOU BELIEVE I WILL SUBMIT AFTER WHAT YOU’VE DONE, I PROMISE YOU- YOU SIT BACK DOWN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

The bird rises to his feet, arms spread wide and hands balancing a shimmering fluid something. Like water curling on the air around him as he funnels his arms in smooth arcs, the fragment silent in the shadows. A rough shape just as hazy as the magic forms on the pool’s surface as the ritual continues.

A song like the one he’d whistled for the sylphs echoes in the dome, slow and measured as a lullaby. The gleam of light in the center dims. By the time he’s let his arms relax and the song goes silent, Cass can make out an outline emerging from the pool. Her head aches a little to look at it head on. Out of the corner of her eye, it’s like the shadow of a horse, like the thing in the pool as she’d seen it before it was bound. Its mane fans out around it, glowing faint white until it blinks out of view.

AAAAAAAAAaaaaah how could you let me carry on that way? All fragment and desperation and- ugh, absolutely horrible. I hate it.

“Happens to the best of us,” Winston says. “Trust me when I say I preferred you that way for the moment, all told. You weren’t terribly wise in avoiding my work.”

Do not remind me. If those children had not come I may have remained in that state longer still. You do not know what it can be like, trapped in a vessel like that. If I had not been bound by your kind the damage might have been far worse…

“I can only imagine,” the bird answers, grim. “We’ll do what we can to end this sort of thing. It doesn’t really solve matters.”

That it does not. You wane. Is something wrong? Your vessel-

“I’ll be fine in time. Thanks for your concern. Will you need anything further from here?”

You.

“I’m sorry?”

A strong breeze rips through the domed pool, chilling Cass and reminding her all too much of the sylphs from the night before. Instead of passing over her, it comes to a halt in front of where she sits in the tunnel.

Winston peers inside and waves. “Oh! Hello, Cass-”

You, the gwyll buzzes. You kicked me. Did you need to kick me?

“You stole two kids and pulled a jerkass Jedi mindtrick on me.”

It hurt! It was dead tissue so I couldn’t feel it, per say, but it’s the sentiment-

“And to think we were making such progress,” Winston sighs, even if a smile plays on his lips. “You could have come with me. What’s all of this sneaking around for?”

Cass spins her glare at the active air to the bird, climbing out into the dome. “You said you were taking care of business. You’re just playing pattycake with the thing that tried to kill us?”

“I did come to settle business and I have. I would have told you had you asked.”

Cass sets her jaw. “Don’t change the subject. What’d you do to the monster?”

That’s rude.

“That was rather rude, Cass.”

She crosses her arms. “So what’d you do to it?” she asks.

“Them.”

“Them, then!”

“I healed them. When a fragment is broken, the right magic and emotion can piece them whole again.”

And what good magic it was, the gwyll hums, slurring a little like they’re drunk. Nothing compares to human magic, not with all the meaning, personality… Keeps us without a name much, much less fragile. I missed sunlight. May I go now?

“Apologies first.”

Both Cass and the gwyll are scandalized. Cass snorts, about to protest before the gwyll shifts as if bowing and speaks with begrudging respect. I apologize for seeking your name, human, it announces.

“Cass?” Winston prompts, hands clasped. He looks like her dad trying to get her to fess up to smacking Stan for the remote.

“You’re kidding.”

She can tell by his stern look he’s not. She looks at the gwyll, or where she pictures it being. “Fine! Fine. I’m sorry for… kicking you in the face twice. Happy?”

“Much so, yes. Now,” Winston says, rubbing his hands together. “To find a new vessel for our friend, shall we?”

For a split second Cass’s blood goes cold, but Winston only studies the curved walls of the branch-dome instead of giving her a sly grin. “And why the heck are we looking for a body for a thing that tried to kill us?” she gets out.

“Because they lost their last one and I’d like to find them a new one,” he says. His hands find the spot he’s been looking for in the dome. Shoulder deep in a weak part, he adds, “Would you like to come or should I wait for you to sneak along behind me for a third time?”

Heat rushes to Cass’s face. “I didn’t-”

“I don’t mind, truly,” he continues. “But I prefer the warning this time. It could have been real trouble this afternoon had our friend been worse off.” He offers his hand, the other still plunged in thickly woven vines.

Careful of the edge of the pool, Cass takes his hand and the rushing step to whatever’s behind the dome.

They both teeter on their feet when they’re spat out the other side. Winston releases her hand, breathing hard. Whisking takes its toll the more he does it, it looks like. Part of Cass wants to get the magic thing down just so her guide won’t keel over before they even get to Haven.

Warden? hums the gwyll.

“We’ll be along, give us a moment. Are you alright, Cass?”

“Fine.”

Step lightly.

“Lively?”

Lightly.

“We wouldn’t want to scare off any potential vessels, of course,” Winston explains.

“Is that why you’re barefoot?” she asks. She’d put her shoes back on before she went in the tunnel again, but she’s got to admit they make more of a crunch in the summer grass than they ever had on concrete and carpet.

Winston brightens, impressed. “Clever! But no, it’s just easier to exchange. Shoes aren’t always free of metals and the like, you see. You can only wrap so much in leather to keep it on you in a change of form.” He sticks out a leg and flexes his toes for emphasis. The gwyll huffs.

Cass goes rigid and the bird shuts up. So much for quiet.

Something small but not too small. Lithe? Something graceful. The last one could prance before it fell here. The gwyll’s running description goes on as they creep through the brush. Several somethings skitter around beneath and above them, but nothing the gwyll seems to want. Cass has no clue how they see anything as the sun sinks them into darkness.

Somehow Winston can see better than her, too, though. A few times he nudges her foot or holds out his arm for her to steady with. Despite herself she has to grab it once before she can trip over a rock or root hidden at her feet.

It doesn’t help that her eyes grow heavier by the second, or that she needs a little guiding more and more. The gwyll keeps debating bodies- a weasel, a squirrel, a bird-

But I don’t want to be prey. Immersing in a mind like that is not good after… this last vessel.

Cass doesn’t have the energy left to snap at it to find another horse to take over, which in retrospect works out since she doesn’t remember seeing any so far. Instead she stubs her toe and hisses. Something a ways away echoes it and kicks her brain awake.

“Do a cat,” she says.

The gwyll pauses in their monologue, sends the air around Cass shifting again as they move. She shivers.

Yes. Yes! I like this vessel, warden. Make it so.

Winston blinks. Cass tugs him forward toward the hiss she heard, the rustle in the thickets of cats fighting. The wind picks up as the gwyll drifts alongside them.

They reach it just when the fight dies down, the losing black tabby backing up from a ginger one stalking the bushes a few feet away. Territory fight, it looks, like the ones Thor has with some of the cats in their neighborhood.

Winston steps forward like he means to break them up but Cass yanks him back. The gwyll noses closer to the two cats. As she watches the black one goes still for a few moments. Blinking over and over until a shudder passes over it.

It stretches and turns the other way. Apparently not a fight worth winning anymore.

Instead it lets the ginger prowl off and comes rubbing up against Cass’s ankles. The scratches on its side aren’t too serious, but they seal up as Winston runs his hand over them.

The cat bows its head. Cass catches a shimmer to its eyes that makes her own ache again.

Thank you. I do not know how long I would have remained if you had not come. My apology for the harm I caused. The gwyll’s voice still rings through her head. She feels weird petting the cat now. The cat that’s not exactly itself anymore.

“A pleasure. Anything else you might need?” Winston yawns.

Cass elbows him half-heartedly, wishes he would stop asking if people want more from them when they’re both barely standing. But the cat just nuzzles his hand with their head. A cut beside their ear heals.

I need nothing more. I will find a warren on my own means. Fair fortune.

“Fair fortune,” Winston says.

“Hail and well met, man,” Cass mumbles. When the rustles of the cat leaving go silent, she takes the bird’s hand and doesn’t protest being led to a less crowded piece of forest.

“Thank you for your thought,” he says. “Or we may have wandered much longer than either of us would have liked, yes? We need to be on the other side of the barriers if we want any rest, however.”

“Why? Fragments?”

A hum. Tired as she is, Cass barely remembers the time between taking his hand and the pair of them finding a wall of vines and thickets. “We finding another town?” she asks, rubbing her eyes.

Winston shakes his head and tightens his grip. The whisking wakes her up, enough to wise her up to the fact that they’ve been holding hands for way too long. She hugs her flannel around her shoulders.

“Here, huh?”

He sits in the grass in front of a tree and shrugs an apology.

Cass glares at him with droopy eyes a minute, but the waking part of her brain doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction- or waste the energy. Tough it out. The longer you wait, the nicer a bed will be.

So she sits on the other side of the tree, bag set at her feet. The puffy lavender grass manages to be survivable, and the night here doesn’t chill as bad as it might have back home. Even the stars here are different, bright and clustered and everywhere like they are on clear Earth nights but in new patterns.

She runs through the day as she looks at them. The Fausts, the gwyll from the pool, the warmth reeled from her insides and up her throat like she might throw it up.

That jerks her awake. Winston peers around the trunk to look at her, map across his lap. He’s got one of his feathers in hand, dribbling a bit of ink as smudged words glow faint on east Ellis. “Everything alright?” he asks.

A phantom heat burns in her chest but douses as she slows her breathing. Cass nods. Winston still looks her over, concern on his face but surprise too like she’s just shaken him from something right along with her.

“Go to sleep, birdbrain,” she says around another yawn. “Do you even sleep?”

“Yes,” he says, flat as if responding to a different question altogether. His eyes fall back to the words he’s scribed as he jots more disappearing words down. Cass rolls over and focuses on how heavy her eyelids are. The scratch of the bird’s pen makes it kind of easier.