#this guy is so fucking deranged and I can't wait to share him with you

[venomous-qwille]

My first stab at drawing Sol from Ghost in the Machine AU. Sol is my ('definitely not got the virus nope no virus here' 'Moon? Never heard of him' 'everything is absolutely fine ha ha ha') version of Sun introduced in the first arc of GITM! Soleil was one of the Daycare Attendants at the only Freddy's location in Canada, where he worked without incident until the company's liquidation in 20XX. As you can see, he is perfectly fine :) Ghost in the Machine AU is a DCAverse style AU set in the future, where an eccentric collector of Superstar Daycare memorabilia hoards the rarest and most elusive of treasures from the (long defunct) Fazbear Entertainment Company: the Daycare Attendant animatronic line. The story of the AU follows this motley group of DCA animatronics brought together from all over the world, as they try and figure out what living looks like. [ID: a digital drawing of Sol from Ghost in the Machine AU. He is standing hands clasped together, smiling at the viewer. He is mostly in shadow, giving a sinister edge to his expression. He wears a dress shirt, an apron embroidered with rays and clouds and two tone striped pants. There is a long yellow evening glove covering his right arm. /End ID]

[thought--bubble]

Let's Work it Out

Ettore X (Indifferent Crewmate Reader)

Warnings after the cut

Based on THIS request

Word Count: 1979

Ettore Masterlist

Full Masterlist

Banners by @arcielee

Warnings:: Ettore, swearing, Smut, dub-con, dry humping, fingering, unprotected sex (P in V), one brief line is a reference to previous non-con just a proper heads up. It's really quick, but yeah. Just in case.

"I hate this fucking ship." This is the thought that runs through your mind on a constant loop.

When you agreed to take this mission, you had thought it would be a good alternative to prison.But after months of floating around on this metal hellscape, you know you should have just stayed on earth.

Trapped in a tin can with a bunch of arseholes. At least in prison, the population was bigger. You had a better chance of finding people you could stand.

But here? Misery.

Boyse was fucking annoying with her constant bitching "this isn't right", "she can't do this", you know she's right but fuck, you can't change it and neither can she, so at least she could do you all a favor and just shut the fuck up.

Then there's Monte. The high and mighty one who thinks he is too good for the box. He walks around as if he is somehow morally superior to the rest of you, as if he wasn't a murderer too.

"You wouldn't be on this ship if you weren't asshat. Calm down."

Then there is the absolutely insane Dr. Dibs, who is apparently the only other person on this ship that is allowed to touch you and not in a fun way. Doing her freaky experiments knocking all the women up one by one and accidentally killing them off like some fucked up version of Russian roulette.

Then there is Ettore. He doesn't bother you as much as he bothers all the other female inmates, which actually makes him amusing in a way. He's definitely got the creepy staring guy role down, but who could blame him? There isn't much to look at on this stupid ship. Everything looks the same.

There are more irritating, annoying inmates, but you couldn't be arsed to learn their names. Fuck every single person on this ship, as far as you are concerned.

Most days, like today, when you have "free time," you just lay in your bunk. Trying to daydream and imagine you were back on earth before you irreparably fucked your life up.

Nansen is up on her bunk doing the same thing. She doesn't bother you much as she's quiet, and at the moment, Ettore is hanging off her bunk, literally sniffing at her.

"He's so fucking weird" you think as you watch him, trying not to laugh at the fact that this is what passes for amusement around here.

Nansen clearly gets fed up with him sniffing around her like some deranged dog and finally shoves him away.

The frustration on his face finally does you in, and you start laughing, no not laughing, cackling. He responds quickly with a flash of rage before quickly exiting the room.

"Thanks for that, that was actually fun," you yell over to Nansen before you roll onto your side, still chuckling to yourself.

Time moves slowly here and after what felt like hours Nansen left to go do something or other leaving you in the room alone still laying on your side and staring at the wall as if willing it to bring you some sort of escape from this place.

Your eyelids get heavier and heavier as you stare at the wall before they finally slide shut. Only the slight humming of the ship and distant voices can be heard as you feel yourself slipping into unconsciousness.

Until you hear it. The door closing. You open your eyes but don't move. Normally, it wouldn't be weird to hear someone enter the room. It is a shared space, after all. But no one ever closes the door. It's always left open.

You wait a few minutes while you continue to pretend you're asleep. Maybe one of the girls are douching after a visit with Dibs or puking up their sleepy time pills? Best to pretend you are asleep so they don't try to kick you out of the room.

So you wait. For movement, noise, or anything, but you are met with silence.

What feels like eternity passes with your heart thumping in your chest when finally, you turn around to see Ettore sitting on the floor next to your bunk, some of your long loose hair between his fingers.

You instantly jump back.

"Piss off!" You yell while pushing back with your feet towards the wall.

Ettore grips your ankle and drags you across the bunk and onto the floor.

"Arse!" You howl as your back makes contact with the harsh floor. Ettore stares down at you, a predatory look in his eyes.

"Don't you touch me, you prick!" You snarl at him, slowly rising to your feet.

Ettore doesn't say a word. Just slightly tilts his head to the side as his eyes scan you from top to bottom.

This guy isn't a dog, he's a fucking wolf and he is sorely mistaken if he thinks you're a lamb ripe for the slaughter. Yet you can't help but find him oddly enticing, the piercing blue eyes, his fill chest, and the fact that he keeps his mouth shut is a nice bonus.

As he moves toward you, the decision is made, you tackle him, wrapping your arms around his midsection, bringing him to the ground with a loud smack, and straddle his hips.

"Don't fuckin move you prick!" You hold his hands up by his head and are surprised when you see no anger, only unbridled lust.

And then you feel it. He is rock-hard beneath you, and suddenly, the fact that he isn't fighting you off makes sense.

Against your better judgment and any rational sense, you decide to tease him. It's been so long since you have been touched. Why not indulge for a moment?

"You like being under me, don't ya?" You tease as you rock your hips against him.

"Yea, nice place to be" his words are dripping in lust as he pushes his hips against yours grinding his cock against your cunt.

This boy is desperate.

You chuckle to yourself and grind back against him. His eyes roll back slightly as his jaw drops open.

He's so responsive, so much so that it drives heat straight to your core.

"You want me to apologize? For laughing earlier?" You continue to grind against his cock a sensation he loves, if the look on his face is anything to go by.

"Don't care," He grunts as he moves his hips a bit faster against you and closes his eyes.

"What if I said I would apologize by riding that big old cock you have stuffed into those scrubs huh?"

Ettore's eyes flash open, and he stares up at you, licking his lips.

"Would you like that?" You tease as you again roll your hips against him, but you make the mistake of closing your eyes and when you do Ettore wastes no time breaking out from the grips you have on his wrists and flipping you over onto your back.

You grunt at the impact. "Fuck, thought we were getting somewhere?" Your grumble in pain.

"Collectin my apology." He sniffs up the side of your neck before reaching down to pull off your scrub bottoms.

You want to correct him. Maybe explain. What riding him means, but again, you couldn't be arsed.

You push your scrubs down the rest of the way and bring your legs up around his hips.

It's been far too fucking long since you've been fucked and he's weird yeah but he's also hot and is most likely gonna fuck you silly.

Ettore leans forward to capture your mouth, but you turn your head to the side.

No fucking kissing dipshit.

Luckily, he is quick on the uptake and goes for your neck, seemingly unbothered by the subtle rejection.

He brings his hand to your heat, sliding his digits into your leaking wetness.

"Mmmmm" He groans eyes closed as he hovers above you, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing small precise circles on the nerve.

You close your eyes and lean your head back, your climax getting closer as he continues his ministrations while gently biting at your neck.

You feel your body tense as you climb that hill, wanton moans slipping from your lips as Ettore slides a finger into your canal, his fingertips exploring, looking for the magic spot that makes a girl go wild.

You take a deep breath in and rock your hips against his hand, your labored breaths, and sounds of pleasure gradually growing in volume, and he knows he's found it.

Ettore gets to work rubbing at the spot deep inside you as he pulls back to watch your face contort in pleasure.

It's so primal. Emotions aren't necessary. Just basic physical need and gratification, one of the driving forces behind Ettore's every move.

He quickly removes his finger from you and grips your thighs tightly, pulling you up to him, and plunges himself inside you in one swift thrust.

The only thing he feels.

He audibly groans at the sensation, jaw hanging slack as his pace quickly increases.

He has tunnel vision. He wants that sensation and needs that sensation, and there is not a thing in heaven, on earth, or this damn ship that is going to stop him now.

In just moments, his pace is punishing the hard smack of his hips against your skin and the delicious mixture of pleasure and pain have you reeling.

"Fuck!" You bite your lower lip nearly breaking the skin as he bullies your insides, hitting all the right spots with each violent thrust.

He watches himself entering you memorized be each movement. He is practically drooling seeing your fluids building up on the base of his cock. Dampening the short blonde curls that grow there.

He can't help but think to himself how much better it is when they want it.

He brings his thumb to your clit working the nub in small circles wanting that clench he knows you can give him.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Your eyes fly back open as you hit your peak temporarily going deaf, body numb to all feeling other than the overwhelming pleasure.

Ettore smiles, not a happy smile, more of a victory smile. It's time to chase his peak, to take what he wants needs.

As you begin to float back down from your high, Ettore is climbing his. Every thought in him consists of reaching that goal. That euphoria.

His grunting grows louder, and his legs begin to shake as he pushes his body to its limit, determined to have the most intense experience he can create.

"If you ever want to do this again, you'll pull out." You don't know if he will heed your warning. He doesn't care about you. Why should he? You do hope that his needs in the future will outweigh his wants right now, but only time will tell.

He says nothing, his eyes closed as he groans loudly, you feel him stiffen, and just as you think he is going to ignore your warning, he pulls out shooting his spend onto your quivering thighs.

You both stay put a moment before you reach into your laundry and snatch up a shirt that's meant for washing, wiping yourself down.

Ettore watches you intently before finally opening his mouth. You see him debate with himself whether or not he should say whatever it is he is planning on saying.

You watch the gears move in his head moderately, amused as you start to put your bottoms back on.

"Good grief, just say it." You can't help but lose your patience. He is back to being the weird, staring guy, and it's irritating.

"Again?" He finally mutters.

You chuckle as you realize he is confirming that this is going to happen again.

"Sure" you shrug "Need something to do on this fucking ship"

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[citrusai]

i'm still writing this dog-gone wip with solas & gan'freya's baby brother bullying him in the fade but i remembered that @solasisms wanted me to post a list of gan'freya-isms i.e behaviours and such. pics are just. there bc theyre so fucking cool i love her in the cutscene. anyway her deranged behaviours underneath the cut

as a tweenager she would disappear for hours at a time to study the behaviours of predator animals. she had a huge affinity for anything wild and feral and she's brought back a bear cub more than once. don't worry about it.

her father gifted her with her first dagger when she was six. she's adept at throwing knives. never stop supporting your babygirls guys.

has forsaken utensils. in skyhold and haven she obviously uses them as is on par for someone of her status, but she often has dinner alone in skyhold in her room bc she eats like a sloppy beast. she also does not like to share food. one time sera jokingly tried to steal a potato off her plate and almost got a fork through her palm...

hates dried fruit. hates the texture, hates the smell. "it's a delicacy" she has spat it out into a napkin on more than one occassion.

expert pickpocket! her favourite thing in haven was stealing. no one suspects her and also strangely no one misses their items either. she kinda worried for a minute that these people were a lost cause.

knows how to play the piano, the lyre, and the flute. she once stayed with a bard on her travels (before the enclave disaster) and they had taught her so much. unfortunately she's a bit rusty by trespasser bc of the whole y'know trying to save the world bit.

collects bones and teeth. used to have an entire wooden box filled to the brim with pieces of animal bone. left that behind when she left the clan.

knows how to expertly skin an animal! actually after trespasser she hunts wolves for sport. who needs therapy when you can make a pelt.

she's a great cook but a horrible baker. she can make a mean stew but do not let this person near the thedas equivalent of a stand mixer... her cookies are inedible. literally both hard and wet. like cement.

loves dirt. no genuinely she loves digging and planting things. when her mother got sick she used to plant the medicinal herbs for her and so all of her fondest memories are of her gardening for her mommy.

piggybacking off of that, hates roads. hates paved things. she believes everyone should walk whatever path they desire. it's why she hates cities. zero dirt. zero nature. grotesque ass pavement. hu-ptuh.

wanted a knife for a hand when solas took her arm. everyone thought she was joking as is on par for the course when she's about to burst emotionally. but no, she genuinely wanted a knife for a hand. would've made sense from a battle perspective. cassandra talked her out of it unfortunately.

hates the texture of scales. can't touch it. it ain't right.

has bitten people in non combat situations before, will do so again.

used to scare the other kids in the clan by staking out in the bushes and waiting until nightfall by the fire just to stare at them intensely and frighten them by making rabid animal noises.

[bloogers-boogers]

Kyle Broflovski/ Eric Cartman (SP fic)

('What's up with the fatass?')

/Let me slide into your mind/ part 4

'Technically, I'm not gay if I'm testing, right?'

Slight warning ⚠️ this fic is kinda deranged and would probably (will) be outta the ordinary, wacky in a sense but also trauma? Maybe, idk could be? Mmhh..

~~~~~~~

He was stoked by the confession, couldn't even manage to bare a retort back with some snarky comment. A brief silence, a light breeze brushing their way.

He looked at Jackson's green eyes, as the sunset reflected on them. Making this all feel even more like a fever dream.

He chuckled nervously, not sure if the feeling he felt was flattery or uneasiness.

How the hell is he gonna get out of this?

On one hand, Jackson was Stewart's best friend: who is seemingly the leader; he was also a very important part of their friend group and they wouldn't bat an eye to trow him out to the gutter over Jackson.

So if he were to reject Jackson now, would that demolished all opportunity to still be friends? Would they kick him out? Would they target him again?

It's not like it's his fault that Jackson was some gaywad and was madly in love with him, but they will definitely side with nerd geek over his coolness.

On the other hand, he also sorta liked Jackson? Not in the gay way ofcourse, but he's warming up to him. Also, Jackson was the first to talk to him and even somewhat got along when he first arrived in this damn town.

He's been nice, a little hot headed but he is also kinda into that aswell, helping him with studying, oddly enough they do get along and they also share a certain type of humor aswell!

It'd be a pity if he ruined a possible great ally over some dumb crush. Besides, he's fucking rich.

And he doesn't make a big fuss over him taking over and picking what they'll watch on Netflix in his big flat tv unlike Tolkien.

He was finding it quite difficult to pick what to do, it's not like Jackson was bad looking.. not the type you'd be horrified by even the thought of holding his hand type of way. He in fact is quite attractive for a guy, no homo, but he COULD endure being in a relationship with him if it were necessary..

".. y-you can't be serious are you?" He mustered out, expecting to be contradicted and be told it was just a fucked up joke.

Jackson hold on to his hands making him eye him weirdly, his mouth flattened, "I've never been this serious in my entire life, Eric."

The way he said it made it all seem like some kdrama rom-com, his eyes landed on to his lips then back to Jackson's eyes feeling nauseous.

This was.. different.

His heartbeat pounded recklessly, as he felt his eyes squinted shut, maybe expecting something more unintentionally leaning forward.

But the entire mood was interrupted by two other obnoxious boys.

"Goddammit, took you long enough!" Stewart shouted, as he walked towards them alongside Hershey who brushed some leaves off him coming from behind a tree.

"You guys ruined the mood, assholes," Jackson groaned annoyed, rolling his eyes and letting go from one hand still latching on to the other.

"A confession shouldn't take that long," Stewart complained, as he shoved his hands inside his pants.

"Yeah, it's been like two weeks and dog park hadn't gotten the hint at all," Hershey huffed as if he was the one desperate for it to be over.

"I would've made him my bitch by now if I were you," Stewart kept on rambling, "like, it's not hard to say 'I like you, be mine' or some shit like that."

"You lack skill," Hershey joined in the mutual bashing on their friend's timing.

He felt himself small, looking at the three as they banter like if he had actually said yes to Jackson's confession, as he had no other choice but to be his—

"Wait, you said this been going on for awhile?," he mustered out confused, it wasn't long since he's got there.

"Ha, you blind fuck. I guess southies lack attention skills too? Ofcourse it was. Why would you think we'd even let you in our friend group to begin with?" Stewart commented casually but was nudged lightly from Jackson as a 'that's enough' kinda way, earning a eye roll from the redhead as a response, "you've gone soft," he mustered.

He felt like he wanted the ground to swallow him, that only means one thing. Saying 'no' will be his dismay, he'll be cast aside if he were to reject Jackson.

He bit his lip, contemplating the situation he's put in. He hangs out with Jamie but that wouldn't be enough to not be targeted, and he doubted the brunette would even care if he were.

Unlike with these assholes he felt a sense of security, a place he can run off to and shield himself from being a tp loser.

"Jackson approached you with all intention to fuck you, he saw you walking near our neighborhood while we were skateboarding looking like you were about to pass out and in his eyes you were the most—," Hershey teased deviously, before being nudged angrily by the blonde.

"Okay, guys that's enough," he blurted out embarrassed, putting his attention on his own quietness.

"He's into bigger boys," Stewart added with a wicked grin, now Jackson shoved him aside as he snickered and ruffled his blonde locks playfully.

"So you two going out now or what?," Hershey then spoke after a brief silence and some rough play from both best friends.

He couldn't help himself feel flustered, if his actual friends were there they'd bash on him for being a complete gaywad or even saying something remotely gay. Which is why he retrained himself by doing many things like; karaoke or dressing himself up and dancing with cut out celebrities he liked, makeup, tea parties or gushing over stuff animals, painting his nails and trying out his mother's heels..

Not that he's gay, but he genuinely did enjoy those things.

But these dumbasses? They don't seem to care at all.. they even expected him to act a little gay...

"Maybe.." he blurted out, startling Jackson who looked his way with sparkling eyes and blushed face.

Okay, he was kinda cute.

°°°°

So it's official, he's now dating Jackson Hu. You may ask, what're the benefits of being the blonde's boyfriend?

They're plenty, in a matter of fact. There wasn't even a single student that had said anything negative his way or any tp comments. On the contrary, he's been making a lot of new friends!

They actually approached him with all intention of wanting to befriend him and hang out. Unlike with the southies they always nagged and nagged that he was some burden they couldn't just get rid off.. and as much as that shit did kinda hurt him, he wouldn't deny he hated them aswell!

These north parkers had made him somewhat feel welcome even if they started with a rough start. They invite him to parties, games and do shit together! Yes, they were common bashing and naming, but that's just typical kids behavior.

They treated him like an actual friend than some pest. And are even very openly affectionate to each other, unlike with his old gang that type of affection was mostly excluded from him and exclusively just a 'bff' thing only the gay bitches of Stan and Kyle had, and sometimes Kenny.

Ofcourse Kenny has time in time proven to him that he does care and he doesn't mind being all open for a hug from Eric Cartman, compared to Hippie dick and Jersey jew that would immediately make an assumption that he was scheming some shit or they'll just stand awkwardly not daring to do something back.

They weren't very opened with hugs or hand holding when it came to the three, not that he couldn't say the same, by that point it was just too weird and kinda an anomaly. He felt he had a whole different thing going on between his dynamic with Stan and Kyle, contrast with Butters and Kenny.

He could be freely emotionally himself with the blondes but with the 'super best friends'? He just couldn't, it was always a hesitating thought and just searching for a opportunity to do so.

He could count the times they had hugged with all intention to do it, with his fingers.

They weren't as evenly close as he'd would like..

But the kids from North park, his now gang. They're so— chill, and cool. And never excluded anyone from giving some love, maybe because they kinda acted like hippies? Even though they claimed just being liberals or some pretentious shit like that.

He could hug Stewart who is the most jock douche of the group outta nowhere and he wouldn't even bat an eye! He'll hug him back or pat him lightly like an actual bro.

Not that he's touched starved ofcourse but..

It actually feels nice.

Other of the good perks of being Jackson's boyfriend, is that he feels more freeing on being more himself in a sense?

He can do things he'd normally think pussies would do, being reassured by his friends and boyfriend that the things he liked didn't defined his sexuality and all that lame opened minded shit.

He loved it, he also liked how Jackson looks at him, and call him by pet names.. even the pecks on his cheek before entering class or being walked home. It made him feel fuzzy and funny..

Also, being completely loaded he buys him stuff! Shoes and sometimes even dresses cause he somehow found out he liked drag!

And his friends, they are willing to try things his southie friends would call him lame for! They even gone to a karaoke and sang together.

But not only that has changed, but he's feeling a little different since his move. The town really is making him shift in to some.. he couldn't recall what, but he feels he could change for the better being.

He also noticed a huge change on his mom too!

She turned PC not long ago.. he wasn't entirely sure what started it but she did mentioned she turned a member at work and that she'd be a better mom from now on, the typical shit he's already use to hearing from her emotional outburst or when she's drunk.

But he's noticed she has kinda kept her word for it, the other day he mentioned about feeling a little insecure about his weight now that he had a boyfriend and all, she actually talked to him like them parents he'd see on TV 'tell me more, I'd like to be of help' 'you know you're perfect in every way, you don't have to change who you are for anyone' 'if he doesn't like the way you are then he isn't for you' 'I think you should try doing a diet if that makes you feel any better but you really are beautiful, poopsikins' giving him actual advice instead of running away!? Actually listening to him instead of distracting him with toys and food.

They also been getting along better and they talk more, his mom even admitted to him that she's been feeling lonely for years now and that loneliness just drove her into making him her only friend and she now realized how bad that truly is for his development. He even admitted how much it affected him to not actually have a father figure in his life, the absence and hollowness it felt everytime he saw his friends bond with their dads. And it was all just emotional and heartwarming moment between the two. A bunch of sobbing and apologetic promises that he wasn't sure they'll actually commit.

Maybe they could fix things out or maybe not? Only time will decide.

He layyed on his bed recalling his mother's words once more, feeling a tight feeling in his chest, hiding under the covers with a soft smile.

North park kinda rules.

°°°°

He was panicking, Jackson had stolen him a quick kiss on the lips. It was a small brush but he felt like he was swooning, being swooped up in the air by his strong arms as he carried him bridal style to the nursery cause he clumsily sprained his ankle in p.e class.

"How you're feeling, babe?" He asked softly, while he couldn't help but look at him dreamily.

"Good.." he mustered with a dumbfounded smile, gripping on to his shirt, butterflies popped inside his stomach. And with out further hesitation he place his hands on his cheeks and made him leaned forward, planting a passionate kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck as he felt Jackson deepening it before breaking it off.

Still inches apart, "Goddamn that was amazing.." he mustered out dumbfounded, eyeing him soft, "maybe I should carry you often if that makes you want to kiss me like that more," he admitted with a cheeky grin, nuzzling his nose against his.

"Maybe you should..?" He teasingly said, eyeing him playful before planting a small peck on his lips.

In a blink of an eye, after a couple of days

They were found making out furiously in the living room couch of his mansion. He couldn't help himself, he was feeling deluded by all of things Jackson did to him, he wanted to be touched, kissed, the pleasure it gave him when he'd grabbed his waist and pulled him closer. It was amazing.

'Technically, I'm not gay if I'm testing, right?'

He gripped on the blonde's t-shirt, making him mumbled a couple of 'mmph' before being sunk in deeper on to the couch, hearing him whisper sweet nothings to him as a voice echoed the room, snapping him out of him.

"Cartman~" Jackson kept murmuring his name against his neck, but not with his usual voice, it was..

He pushed him away with his hands against his boyfriend's chest slightly, as his eyes widen in contemplated horror.

"Kyle?"

Kyle found himself on top of him looking at him with a devilish smile, before grinning wide like a triumphant.

"AHHH!!!" He screamed like a chick that was about to get murder in some classic 90s horror movie, pushing him off from his lap as he rested his weight on his elbow still eyeing the boy.

Now vision getting clearer, as a concerned Jackson looked his way.

"Babe are you alright? Who the fuck is Kyle?" He asked, standing up; as he had fallen to the floor by being pushed so abruptly.

He panted heavily, still grasping some air as he clenched hard on to his chest, this shit is gonna give him a heart attack.

"Is this because you miss your old town? Is that it?" Jackson still continued to asked worrisome, before biting his lip as he contemplated something looking at the floor.

"Y-yeah.." he managed to mustered, still, the scare was still haunting him.

Jackson look at him with pitying eyes, "do you want.. I can give you your password, maybe that'll make you feel better? Only if you promise me you would be discreet about it?" He tried reassuring, approaching cautiously and sitting far in the other end of the couch.

"U-huh, that'd be awesome, thanks.." squinting his eyes shut and nodding fanatically, he took this as a good opportunity to talk with Kenny, he hasn't been able to contact him in so long.

He gulped hard, sweat falling drastically as if a bucket of water had been splashed on his face, now looking at Jackson's eyes, feeling himself get calmer with each passing second.

Being back home, he let out a long tiresome sigh, the episode from early still was eating him at whole, he needed to calm down or he could mess things up with Jackson.

He grabbed his laptop and typed in the password and email Jackson gave him.

And lord and behold, he was now online.

Another thing he had to do was change his number, as people there would recognized immediately the area code of South Park. Bad thing about it, is that his now friends erased all his contacts excluding his mom and family (cousin and uncle's) luckily for him, he did manage to slip out saying Butters was a cousin when he notice his friends doings.

Finally back on his old account '@ EricCart_brah' he looked for Kenny's active status, he knew by this hour he'd be back home and scrolling endlessly on his phone ignoring his parents common arguments.

Kenny Mccormick online•

He bit his lip, he knew Kenny would demand answers because he's clearly been 'ignoring' him, which is why he told Butters to calm Kenny's tits down and tell him that he was just really busy, which wasn't far from the truth. In reality he was busy, being a North Parker wasn't easy you know!

'Sup poor boy' common, not too desperate, and quick to the point.

He waited a couple of dreaded seconds, as he looked at his screen. Kenny was taking his damn sweet time to read his message, longer than usual, oh, he must really be pissed. It was definitely on purpose cause Kenny would immediately reply back to him once receiving a message while being actively online the only times he wouldn't answer back immediately was when he was doing his shifts or walking Karen home from school.

It was their best friend thing to always prioritize their messages over anyone else's, they kinda agreed on doing it out of spite because Stan and Kyle once ignored them on the group chat a couple of years ago sliding into a roblox server with out them. Fucking dicks. They still couldn't somehow let that go.

After a minute, he finally read it, but it was left on seen. He frowned, 'Goddammit, kinny,' he thought.

'Typing...'

Those three minutes were torturous coming from Kenny.

Meanwhile he waited for Kenny to stop bitchin' with him, he scrolled through his inbox, he had two unread messages from Kyle and one from Stan, ofcourse he didn't bother answering so he left them unread, they're bitches anyways, and because they were very old messages too, like a day after his move and Stan's was at 3:00 am pretty much while he was still on the road to get to North park. But there was also messages from both Clyde and Craig, these weren't entirely far apart from the day he left south park but he was curious.

'Hey, fatboy, pleaseeeee come back I beg you🙏🏼' that was pretty much it with Clyde, sometimes he wondered if that dude was okay from the head, cause damn what gives?

And Craig's was just a '🖕🏼' he rolled his eyes, hoe.

*Ding*

About fucking time.

'Took you long, u got bored of your little north dickers?'

He snickered, now HE got his sense of humor.

'C'mon, Butt's didn't gave u mah mezzage?'

'He did'

'Okay, so Y u bitchin at me?'

'What's with the new account? Embarrassed by your people, fatboy?'

'Iz da it? U worried I forgot about u?'

'Seen'

Goddammit, 'I would never, asshole 🙄 yk I've been buzy with my move'

'Why r u writing with typos? I saw u got nice grammar in ur dumb np page'

'U stalkin me?'

'Yes, what're u gonna do about it? Send me a grenade via inbox?'

"Hahahaha!" He laughed out loud by Kenny's ridiculous shit talk, how he missed that.

'Don't be an ass🤣'

'Your so dumb...'

'*you're' he couldn't help but slapped himself in the head, what was all that about? Why did he correct that shit, he's acting like the dumb jew now.

'Sure, bitch. Okay, so how's it been?' Atleast Kenny seemed to shrugged it off easily, neither did he seemed angry anymore.

'Itz been good but itz lame ass fuck, wbu anything going on over there?'

'Not really, everything seems to mellow out since ur fat ass left town'

'Aye! Stfu!'

'It's true tho, everything is as boring like when we took that hunting bunny exhibit'

'Ugggh don't remind me🥱'

'Man, when would u come visit? Or is it like a temporary thing? C'mon tell me *dick sticker*'

'Not sure tbh, just hang in there got things handled from a tea just u wait👌🏼'

'This is my new number btw (+1)***-***-**** don't give it to those assholes of Stan and Kyeeel'

Kenballz added (+1) ***-***-**** to his contacts.

'U still angry at them for the party?'

'Nah... just want to be a dick to them thatz all'

'Fair'

'Gotta go, ttyl?'

'Sure'

He sighed exhausted sliding out from Kenny's dms, looking at the hour an it was just 2 am. Maybe he should give a peek at the hippie's message?

Stan Marsh offline• 25 min ago

'Hey, Cartman. Sorry about earlier, yk me and Kyle didn't mean to actually just not give a damn about you..

I kinda really feel bad about it rn.. hope you can forgive me? Even so, I wish you luck with the move. Ik how difficult it is to adjust to the changes but Ik you'll manage better than I ever did:)'

Way to make it gay Stan, he sighed, getting off from the couch and heading to his room in a slouch. In all honesty, he really wasn't angry at them, he kinda actually expected them to act like dicks? But still, something about Kyle just pissed him off, but being angry at Stan was very hard to do. He was so emotional and for some reason he pity him for it.

Maybe that's why he had a weak heart for Stan.

He layyed down reluctantly, opening his laptop once more, might aswell look at kyel's, or curiosity will get the best of him.

Kyle Broflovski offline• 2 hrs ago

'Hey fatass'

'Fuck u then'

Well, that was short and quick. He huffed throwing his laptop to his side, covering himself with his blanket kinda pissed off and dozing off to sleep.

°°°°

"Damn, theres a lot of people in your town," He said in a 'awe' looking at the crowd of people surrounding the mayor hall.

"Our town now, fatboy," Stewart added, wrapping a arm around his neck.

He blushed, they're very welcoming and friendly to him for some reason all of a sudden. Maybe he's been doing so damn good so far, his act has already went beyond the limits of fantastic, cause it seem his tp vibes weren't as strong as when he first arrived. He smiled accomplished.

Jackson eyed him from his side with a small wink.

He beamed even harder, he felt his cheeks stiffened by how much he was smiling that day.

He wrapped his arms around Stewart's waist resting his head against him while seeing the mayor walked towards the microphone.

"It's a nice evening today for our beautiful town," He began, it was an old man probably in his mid fifties, grey hair and had one of those fancy suits on.

"Today we've managed to make a great accomplishment, being at a rate of 55% of popularity," the man beamed proudly at the crowd.

The crowd roared cheerful, he even heard his friends shout '¡fuck yeah!'

He honestly didn't quite understand about the popularity ratings that was going on between states, but he honestly cared less it wasn't his problem.

"If we keep our rating up, will be in the 90% in lesser than a month," the man fist upwards to the air, "but that's not all, we've been given news that were offered for a possible show next fall!"

Everyone gasped, and he was left confused, just arching a brow.

'Who'd want to watch a show about some dumb town?,' he couldn't help but think about how lame that was, but said nothing. His friends seemed to be stoked about the idea.

Maybe that was his southie side speaking in him.

"Now moving that aside, time for the announcement for the winner of next judge for this yearly cat costume competition!" The man exclaimed, causing some of the people watched eagerly as the mayor took out a small piece of paper from the box to announce the winner.

"And the winner for this yearly competition is— Eric cartman?"

The people gasped as they all eyed him, even he was left bewildered.

He didn't recall ever written his name in that slip.

"It's the southie" he heard a man whispered, and a couple of others murmured.

But later roared cheerfully as they boost him upwards with their hands dragging him still dumbfounded to the stage.

"Go, Eric!" He heard his boyfriend screamed from afar, as he stepped on the stage, seemingly still confused.

He smiled awkwardly as he approached the mayor.

"Seems the town picked you for the role, it was just destined to happen," The man stated before gesturing the crowd to applaud.

He gulped seeing all those people cheering for him, it really boosted his ego and pride.

All the admiration he craved is now becoming overwhelming in a matter of seconds, the fact he just doesn't know, unaware of what's not knowledgeable maybe that's why he felt that hidden unease squeezing feeling inside his stomach.

After all that, he walked down stage and was greeted once more by his boyfriend who hugged him tightly.

"Congrats, baby nuts."

"I- I really don't know how my name got there?"

"Who cares? You got such an honorable role being from Shart Park," Stewart chimed in, approaching them with Hershey by his side.

"I suppose.. but I really don't know my role or anything?"

"Don't worry about it, we'll tell you everthing you need to know for the big day," Hershey added with a grin, "btw, Jacky your parents were looking for you just now."

Jackson groaned, "no fucking way, seriously? My god.."

"What's wrong, babe?" He eyed him curiously.

"It's- it's nothing, Eric," he shrugged giving a look at Stewart.

How fucking weird, he hated being excluded from shit.

Another day ended, and by that point and on he learned that this cat festival was a honoring tradition, the competition however was just as important than the actual festival itself so it was necessary to not mess it up or his reputation will go down the line. He did wonder why the hell they'd pick him for it, but it was way too beneficial to bail out from, he also liked that he was being recognized more by his name than by the town he was born in.

He looked through his clothing finding a perfect outfit for the evening, ignoring the voices from his head, the constant whispers and the small curses against him. Kyle's voice resonated in him like a damn devil, a curse yearning to release it's dangerous magic on him.

He wasn't sure why Kyle out of all people would be the one to haunt him. Okay, now that he thinks about it, he may be certain of why.

Ofcourse Kyle would be capable of doing that! He has always been envious of his luck and awesomeness, who wouldn't want to curse him more than Kyle ever did?

'Eric~'

"Shut the fuck up, kahal!" He screamed out, covering his ears.

'C'mon, Eric don't be such a wuss'

"I'm no wuss!"

'Ofcourse you are, fat boy'

"Aye! I ain't fat you dumb jew!"

'Don't belittle my people, fatass!'

"So stop using your dumb magic on me, and leave me alone!"

'Never, you're a traitor. A imposter'

"What're you talking about?""

'You really think these north pussies give a fuck about you? You're just a southie for them-'

"That's not true I'm changing!"

'No, you can never change. You got it in your blood, Eric. You'll be for ever be a bigoted south park faggot–'

"¡Shut up!" He hissed out, everything went silent and he no longer heard Kyle, "¡shut the fuck up!" He kept on whining while squinting his eyes shut, trying to shut all the demons out, falling on his knees now gripping on to his hair.

It was night time, meaning the beginning of the festival has now started, Jackson picked him up walking from hand to hand to the center of town. He visualize all the cute cats everywhere. He couldn't help but feel a pit in his stomach thinking about Mr kitty.

He still can't believe his mother forgot to bring Mr kitty! But he shouldn't have trust her knowing damn well she took some crack beforehand.

His cat would've been the cutest among all, sadly she would not be able to participate in such wonderful event.

'Maybe if you actually stayed in south park instead of moving your ass over here. You wouldn't be struggling about your cat, fatass'

"Quit it, Kahal! Not now" he hissed in a whisper as he side eyed his boyfriend who was seemingly distracted by some decorations.

Ofcourse Kyle wouldn't let him enjoy his night, his gonna follow him until he fucks up something.

'Don't blame me, this place sucks ass'

"It does not!"

'It does too'

"Nuh-uh!"

"Eric, are you alright?" Jackson snapped him out of it, now looking at his direction.

"Yeah baby, ofcourse I am!" He exclaimed nervously, "how about you show me those kitten mittens you told me about the other day?"

"Oh! Fuck yeah, dude!" Jackson beamed excited, before dragging him to somewhere else.

'How rude, bluntly ignores my presence'

"Shut up, Kahal. I don't want him to hear you!"

'Mhm, I don't see why you're so damn in to him, I'm soooo much interesting than him and you don't seem to like me like that?'

"Cause you're a stupid jew, that's why!"

'So you admit you're a gaywad?'

"Fuck off, dude." He shoved away with his free hand next to his face, as he were capable to shoo Kyle's annoying voice from him.

"Ms Ellen has always had the best of mittens," Jackson spoke, approaching a small stand letting go now from his hand as he gestured all the colorful mittens.

'*cough* gay *cough* *cough* what a gaywad'

"Tsch, quiet!" He sneered in a whisper, before continuously to eye Jackson in an awe.

He's so cute, he felt his eyelids fall slightly feeling that fuzzy feeling once more in his stomach. Now he wondered how he scored such a wonderful boyfriend with zero efforts!

'Stop looking at him like that, your eyes are gonna fall'

"Don't tell me what to do, Kyel," he mustered out while smiling dumbly, seeing how Jackson seemingly spoke as his blonde locks move in such a memorizing slow way.

'I'll give it two weeks max'

He heard that last bit but decided to ignore it, he is planning to enjoy his night with Jackson and succeed as a great judge.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly, he and Jackson had played many of the games there. It was just the two of them that night as both Hershey and Stewart we're doing their own thing with their girlfriends, so it'd made sense for he and Jackson to do the same.

"You know.. I'm glad you're here," Jackson said out of the blue, grabbing his attention.

"Yeah? Why?" He asked munching on a corndog.

"Well, normally I'd be alone in these type of things cause those assholes are always latching like slugs to their girlfriends and shit," he said, obviously referring to the guys, smirking slyly, "now I can do the same with out feeling envious of their own love life, let's be slugs together, baby nuts"

His heart skipped a beat, he smiled warmly.

Jackson approached him, a step forward planting a kiss on his cheek he instinctively closed his eyes not wanting for it to end.

'Dumbass, he doesn't like you. He likes that he's no longer the only gay one in town'

He frowned, as he opened his eyes once more softening seeing Jackson look his way in such a lovingly way.

He hold on to his hand, "don't worry, baby. I love you," he reassured more to himself than to his boyfriend.

Ofcourse he loves Jackson, why else would he feel this immense feeling inside his chest. He's a great friend not that he 'like-like' him like that, he's just so awesome and amazing to ignore, he stands up in the crowd, he's different.

'You're confused. You don't like him, you like feeling praised'

He moved his head frantically, dragging Jackson by the arm leading him to the apple bucket game where men surrounded it cheering for the next loser to grab a red apple among the greens while blindfolded.

'You can run all you want, but you know I'm right, fatass'

"We should try it out," he ignored the echoing voice against his ears.

"Sure, did I ever mentioned you I was stated 1st place state champion of apple bobbing?"

"Really?" He looked at him surprised, Jackson winked at him placing himself in line.

'Gay'

He scoffed, "grow up, Kahal. It's sooo 80s of you to be so close minded," commenting that as he stood next to Jackson sharing him a toothy smile.

'Ugh, you two gross me out'

'Why don't you set the bucket on fire? Wouldn't it be fun if you put gasoline inside and let the next player get it? Hahaha!'

He shook his head, "no, kahal, that's awful," whispering annoyed.

'You use to do it all the time with Butters and Kenny. What's the big deal now? Afraid your pussie friends can't deal with some actual fun?'

He gritted his teeth, clenching his free hand, eyeing the next player who was a blonde girl with two big ponytails.

'Dude, wouldn't it be awesome if we do one destiny final on her? Her hair is perfect to get-'

"No, it wouldn't be 'awsome', get over it" he stated still looking at the crowd.

'Man, what's happened to you'

He bit his lip to that, in all honesty he really thought it'd be funny to see the blonde chick be dragged by a horse because her hair was tangled and tied up on it's leash.

But that wasn't a North park way to think.

'But you're not from north park'

"Tsch, what did I tell you about reading my mind Kyel!," he blurted out, flinching once he noticed he screamed too loud causing a few people to look at him weird and Jackson to eye him carefully, "you're invading my privacy," he murmured in between teeth

'You do it all the time! Don't be such an hypocrite. You don't even know what personal space is'

"I feel like I've already said this many times, but are you alright, babe? You're acting like a little pyscho."

'Cause he is. Are you blind?'

"I'm fine, babe. Just ignore it." He shrugged now getting ready to play next.

"Ignore what?"

The game went on an he managed to witness the competitive spirit Jackson had, he was rabid to win a stubbornness no one can wear him off from, ruthless almost murderous over some dumb apples noneless!

'Pst, you never seem to care when I do it?'

"Shut up, kahal. It's different, my baby is gonna get hurt," he looked at the bloody looking hound who was glaring daggers at some big chunk of a man with a cool looking beard holding on to a couple of apples in his mouth, probably five.

No longer had their blindfolds on as they circled around each other as if they were about to go in combat. Jackson had three apples, making his cheeks look all puffed up like a angry squirrel. He would laugh by the adorable display but there were other more important matters in hands.

"Hon, why don't we just truce this and-?"

Everyone gasped, going all silent, before the beard dude spit out the apples from his mouth in a bursting laugh.

"Hahahahah! Awe, how cute. Oh southies and their stupidity, your tp boyfriend is such a loser! Ofcourse, you should definitely listen and be the typical whipped ass licking moron you are and ask for a small cease-fire?"

Jackson eyed the man up and down in a threatening manner silently warning him

"South- Park- ies" The man tilted his head with each pronouncing words, grinning confidently.

"Oooohhhh" everyone blurted out in a shared shocking response, as it was indeed a low blow to be called a south parker, a disgusting insult that's worse than being thrown actual feces in someone's face.

Jackson spit the apples he had out of his mouth and straight up lounge himself towards the man.

"TAKE THAT BACK!" Screamed back, punching and yanking the man's beard off.

"Goddamn," he whispered in disbelief.

'Guess your boyfriend is also kinda a little cookoo himself'

He watched bewildered by the intensity of the street fight being unfold, as people cheered like wild animals. He even notice his other friends were already there in the pile of people cheering Jackson on.

This reminded him of the time when Kyle force him to ride a bull for some dumb Terrance and Phillip dolls, he was damn determined to win them he didn't even care that he was a vietnamese prostitute for the temporary being signing him up for the bull ride contest not caring he was drop off by Leonardo dicaprio the next day from who knows what of a night.

That was some immense determinant stubbornness and a whole lot of obsessive competitive spirit.

'In my defense, I really wanted those dolls and you wasted all the damn money'

"Whatever, Kahal," He whispered with not much enthusiasm, looking at the blonde boy smirking confidently as he stood up like he had won some boxing match.

Jackson approached him smiling warming, placing a small kiss on his lips.

"Told you I was number one champion."

'I don't think that's how you play bobbing apples'

"Sorry he call you that, baby," he added lastly before hugging him 'comforting'.

'What's there to be sorry about? You are from South park'

He corresponded back, "thanks, babe," reassuring with a small hum, smiling lightly.

'Stop acting like you aren't, asshole'

°°°°

Being judge wasn't the difficult part is was the people who'd glare menacingly, who'd watch carefully and cautious as other competitors would look like pray, atleast those that seem so gullible that'll easily cease on losing which was rare cause north park; the ones from blood, conceived from the womb of a north park mother will never bail out until they give their last breathe those that were from other states however would budge in one or a couple of rounds depending on how far long they've lived in the town. Yes, rounds.

What he figured out about this whole cat costume competition wasn't exactly just cute kitties dress up in fancy wears, it was a matter of actual BATTLE. They'd prepare themselves in a cage putting two people in and place their cats on a rounded chair. Waiting to be judge as they place themselves in middle of both cats, rules were simple:

1. First cat to jump off the chair will guarantee the owner making the fist move starting first round.

Only thing that wasn't allowed was weapons (guns, knives, swords, grenades, wires, types of acids, any sort of dust powder and flame throwers).

He wasn't sure exactly why the last weapon was needed to be specified with red ink, but he was a man who didn't question much.

Pretty much anything else is valid, so you're basically on your own once you're in the cage.

2. First player who accidentally hurts or (kill) the felines in anyway while being on the cage are disqualified immediately making the other competitor pass to the next round.

Being so damn fucking grateful he didn't bring Mr kitty to this whole thing after all was an understatement.

3. No sex inside the cage (one boner and you're out).

Now that was a rule he wondered why was needed to be added, but Hershey had told him it was because sometimes the tension between the two competitors will turn them up and makeout mid-battle.

This is why Jackson also told him he wasn't gonna let him compete as a player, he wasn't risking his boyfriend on 'falling' for some other dude. Kinda toxic, but he kinda like the possessive attitude.

4. Each meow counts as a double point, so you're current points would be sum together (the cat must be your feline for it to add up).

5. Each round is about 15 minutes (if dragged).

6. They're only 6 rounds per fight.

7. If referee catches you purposely making your feline meow you're disqualified and would be punished being excluded for the next year's competition.

8. Every aim on the gut, calves and armpit is 15 points (must be with a fist punch/ grab or finger thruster it would not count otherwise).

9. Bruises are also counted (1 point), in other cases: any teeth yanked off counts as 4.

Eyes (not preferable) 3 points.

Fingers (please don't) 6 points.

And any limbs (again, mayor Paul Theo won't pay for your hospital bills. Cautious.) 10 points.

10. You must sign the term and conditions agreeing you're aware of all the dangers you're putting yourself in and would not ask for legal action if you're severely injured (don't be a pussy), before festival date. The signature is obligatory or you will not be allowed to participate.

11. Once sixth round is over you must have atleast over 120 points gather up for the win. If both competitors have over that limited amount the competitor who has the highest count is declared winner.

However, if both competitors haven't pass the limit, they're both disqualified and will be called: tied losers until next year. (No one likes a tie you damn finger teaser).

In worse cases, a deceased competitor mid play would immediately disqualify you. If the competitor passes away after the ending round however, is automatic victory.

Eleven being the last rule, made him winced a little worrisome. This wasn't like the cow chase tournament they had in south park. This was beyond that.

What he did point out is that north parkers are VERY and when he says VERY, like goddamn! they're competitive. They don't like losing.

He bit his lip nervously as he was gesture to take a high up seat, sitting while seeing the crowd of people fill up empty seats.

Judge main attribute is to watch and declare winners, also having to count individually each players points, added his own judgment by rating each cat outfit which is important for the final counting.

He had the power to make a competitor lose if he felt like not giving a high score to their cat. Just like the power to make someone win even with a lower point count, he has unlimited points to give. And if he really dislikes the outfit he can take away max 15 points from a competitor.

So yeah, that was pretty sweet.

'You're already feeling yourself aren't you, fatass?'

"just a little... but could you blame me? Everyone is totally boned by the thought of overpowering someone, and I just have the opportunity to overpower anyone."

'That's more like it.. but don't over do it, lardass.'

"Jesus, can you give me a break already?"

'Not until you're back in South park; your real home with your real friends. We're I can keep an eye on you up closer.'

He rolled his eyes not bothering in answering back, spotting Jackson with the gang seating in some seats. Jackson spotted him right away and blew him a kiss. Which he subconsciously grabbed and blew another one back.

'God, you're so gay.'

The tournament began and everyone was riled up, it was a total massacre in and out of the cage, he was lucky being at top of it all. Seeing how aggressive the crowd of viewers were, he even notice his friends joined in the bashing. Unlike the competitors the audience could and can throw shit in, some tried aiming their gun to the competitor they hated the most others just shaked the cage in a rabid manner and some threw rocks with poor aiming.

It was quite a sight, a whole different display than what he was given firstly of the town.

"Wow," he said in an 'awe' admiring the chaos.

'Please, this would never get at a South park level'.

"C'mon, you can't tell me this isn't skewl?"

'Not even the slightest.'

"You're just saying that cause you're jealous."

'Sure~ being jealous over some people attempting to kill each other in a cage is so�� exciting. If I wanted to watch that shit I could just see MMA for women on tv.'

"Okay you snarky jew, I get it, fuck. Nothing pleases you."

'I'm just stating facts, nothing beats south park.'

He grunted, reluctantly watching the whole tournament unfold, and eventually get to its end.

He was almost thrown a bucket of literal shit on because for the people's eyes his judgment wasn't going their way, not pleased by his choices. For his luck he had Jackson by his side during his performance, preventing any damages his way. Which he thought it was very warming and protective of him.

"You should give Eon a 10 pointer it'll definitely hit the rail for Jennebie," Jackson whispered in his ear, he could feel his malicious smirk against it.

So he followed through and did just that.

"Also hit Merry with a 5 pointer and let Harry have it with a 3," he continued almost in a sultry manner.

He looked his way, and sure enough it seem Jackson was turned on by pissing people off; he had dilated pupils and he was bitting his lip, moving back and forth frantically.

'He's literally manipulating you under your damn nose aren't you gonna do anything about it?'

He denied with his head not listening to Kyle and continued following his boyfriend instructions. It's not like he's whipped but he didn't mind pleasing him in some way.

He felt Jackson's hands slid next to his arms rubbing them lightly as he rested his head on his shoulder, sighing.

"Eric did I tell you how hot you look today?" He mustered nuzzling his nose against his neck warmly, "you drive me crazy."

He felt himself melt into Jackson's words, smiling dumbly as he saw how the competitors reacted by their scoring, feeling soothe by his touch and soft hair against his cheek.

He hummed as an answer, dazzlingly eyeing the crowd infront of him not caring much of the insults being sent his way.

"Mom, do you think I'm ready to have sex?" He asked his mother, now being back home.

His mom looked his way from the small kitchen practically part of the living room.

She moved her mouth as she was trying to articulate some words, seemingly startled, "uhhm.. well, I'm not sure poopsikins, do you feel ready?"

"I'm not sure either, but all my friends have done it," he shrugged not seemingly sure himself, "when was your first time?"

"Oof.." she exclaimed almost incredulous of how far that was, pouting her lips in thought, "probably when I was your age now that I think about."

"Wow. So does that mean I'm already late?"

"Ofcourse not sweetums," she chuckled, while smiling, "it's takes the right person at the right time."

"Did you do it with the right person, ma?" He asked genuinely curious.

"I did it with the coach of our volleyball team."

"Aye! That doesn't seem very ethical at all!"

"Technically I was learning something new, hon," she tried justifying herself with a light nervous tone to it, "anyways– why do you ask? Is that boyfriend of yours already wanting to escalate towards higher grounds?"

"Well.. not exactly, but it seemed like it!" He admitted, almost exasperated by the whole previous ordeal, "he seemed like he wanted something, he just.. didn't have the balls to tell me.

Even though it was obvious he was trying to hide it from me and he was all touchy too."

"Hmmm.." she looked at the ceiling, thinking carefully, "well it does seems quite suspicious, but you shouldn't get to that type of conclusions yet."

"Why?"

"Because then he'll think you're desperate."

"Really!?" He exclaimed almost nervously, eyes widen by the possibility.

He went to his room after eating dinner and briefly remembering the underwear gnome he and Stan hid in a cooler from a previous episode of theirs while he made an extra sandwich cause he was starving to death and the diet he had set himself off with wasn't it for him. Worrisome of looking like a desperate horny dog to Jackson, that was far what he wanted to give.

He layyed down sighing exhausted, remembering the passionate kisses Jackson gave him before entering his building, backing him against a wall and making out for a couple of minutes before reluctantly drifting ways.

He bit his lip just thinking the possibility of Jackson wanting more than just kisses, gulping nervously as he lightly yanked the collar of his shirt feeling a immense tightness around his neck, sucking in some air.

He took out his phone and texted Butters about his other worry that has also been eating him alive all day. The previous event made him realize how much he missed his little feline friend.

Butters (+1 ***-***-****) 📞

[Inbox✉]

'Butters, make sure Mr. Kitty is well fed or I'll hunt you down and chop you into bits you hear me!'

'No need to worry about it, Eric👌🏼

I'm already making sure your furr baby is alright'

'Please don't call it a furr baby, dude. That's gay as fuck'

'Butters?' He reluctantly added.

'Yeah?'

'If I we're to never come back.. would you miss me?'

'Why golly, Eric. Ofcourse I will, we're best pals!'

'I fell like you're bullshittin me rn just to make me feel better'

'Are you feeling under the weather again?'

He pinch himself, Butters could right outta the bat tell when somethings bothering him even through text.

'Maybe..'

'Do you know if any of the guys have been.. not that I care or anything! But, do they seem to miss me or something?'

'Typing..'

Butters kept writing but it seemed he stopped a couple of times before continuing writing again as if he was contemplating his reply and erasing it back and forth.

Finally after like a minute, he sent a bible looking message.

'This is what I've seen so FAR, it's not accurate so please don't take it as seriously, alright?:)

I've seen Stan and Kyle being the ones least affected by your absence, ofcourse that was just the first few days.

Stan seems to be taking it all pretty lightly but I do see him getting bored easily and shoving his face in junk food all day (probably not you related) but still, it's kinda unlike him yk.

Kyle on the other hand.. well, yk how pissy he gets. It's kinda hard to tell what's in his mind when all he shows is anger. But he does seem to be in denial of you actually staying in north park for too long, he thinks you're scheming something (Which isn't entirely untrue but he doesn't know that) and you already knew that.

Kenny, I already told you. He wasn't taking it well, but he's gotten better since your last call.

And well, to summarize it all, it does seem to put affect in some way for them. So I do think they miss you, Eric.

You guys don't really have the best way in showing it'

'That's useless dunk garbage, I could've guess that myself, dumbass.

But thanks.. I guess'

'Anytime n.n'

'Eric.'

'What?'

'What the hell is dunk garbage suppose to mean?'

He sighed, placing his phone in his lamp stand, covering himself in his covers.

'Are you finally gonna admit you're homesick, dickface?'

"Fuck you, I am not," huffing annoyed, he tossed himself to his other side, "I just miss Mr kitty that's all."

'Mhm, sure, Cartman'

"Tee hee~ tee hee hee~" he heard from the end of his bed, he snapped back up in shock, glancing at that little well familiar devil.

'Oh great'

"The fuck!? I thought I had got rid of you already!"

"Tee hee~ is this how you welcome your little bundle of joy after years of not seeing each other?"

"Fuck you, dude! I don't want nothing to do with you anymore. I'm not a little kid anymore, this is totally lame now," he hissed hiding half his face under the covers, feeling frustratingly embarrassed, "so uncool.."

"So you rather replace me for a gay inner monologue of your gay little friend?" Cupid sneered, approaching him.

'Fuck you, asshole!'

"Up yours, Kyle!" The little creature snap back almost bitterly, now changing his tone to a sweeter one, "Eric we use to be the best of friends! Setting people up with their true love it was so much fun!"

"Yeah, but acting like cupid is a 2016 thing, get over it already. It's sooo totally lame."

Cupid me sighed in disbelief and disapproval, "preteens I swear~" he rolled his eyes annoyed before continuing, "look, Eric. I'm here not exactly to set anyone up.

I'm here to make you realize the real you tee hee~"

"The real me?"

"Uhuh," he nodded beaming wide, "you're so in denial of your true feelings I'm starting to feel pity over you~" he swirled around in circles playfully.

"Aye!"

"But don't worry! That's why I'm here! To open your eyes~"

"To what?"

"Being in love with Jackson ofcourse! Tee hee hee~!"

"WHAT!? NUH-UH! you're bullshittin me right now! I don't like Jackson, I just think he's neat and cool!"

"That's being a complete gayway, cupcake~"

'I must admit just this once that the ugly goblin has a point'

He heard cupid me huffed by the name, but he couldn't give a rats ass about it, "Shut the fuck up, Kahal! And shut the fuck up cupid me! I DO NOT like Jackson!"

"Yes you do~"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yuh-huh~"

"NO!" Panic began rising in him, shoving harshly the little creature to the wall running inside his closet with his hands covering his ears closing the door with a loud slam.

'Sweet, can you do that again?' He heard Kyle say referring about how he had shoved cupid me in a furious attempt to get him away.

He ignored him once more, squinting his eyes shut dismissively shaking his head frantically. Hearing cupid me rise above with angry noises and the flapping of his wings echoing the room in a loud attempt to threatened him.

"That does it, Eric," Cupid me spoke tirelessly behind the door, his sweet tone long gone replacing for a more menacingly one, "I've been very nice and have forgiven you countless times of how you've mistreated me!

Now come out of the closet right now, were gonna speak like real men!" He slammed harshly the door attempting to turn the handle but his little hands couldn't grasp it entirely making it almost impossible.

"No! Leave me alone!"

'C'mon cupid me, leave him alone already. You can't force it either' he heard Kyle try to reason with it in his defense, but Cupid me was way stubborn to let things slide easily.

"Shut up, Kyle, I don't want to hear anymore of those gay little speeches of yours! This is between me and him," Cupid me kept on slamming the door, even trying to budge in with his body, "come outta the closet right now, Eric!

You can't hide yourself in there forever."

"Just you watch!" He cried out, feeling tears fall down his cheeks, sucking harshly some air. He's never felt this scared in his life, feeling how small and suffocating the small space being, sobbing and holding himself for dear life as he hugged his legs hiding his face.

There was a immediate silence, he wanted to take a peek and make sure cupid me was long gone, but he stopped before placing his hand on the door.

'Don't be stupid. He could be acting like he isn't there to make you come out, he isn't called a creepy little shit for no reason'

He nodded, gulping nervously, as Kyle was indeed right. Cupid me wasn't to be mess with, he was calculated, cunning and coldly accurate, he knew his ways to get him, and he hated having let that little shit capable of making him feel this vulnerable.

He rocked himself back and forth in attempt to calm his nerves, but it didn't help in the slightest.

'Breathe, asswipe, you don't want to pass out either'

He squinted his eyes even harder, sucking in some air and letting it out, in and out.

'1–

Breathe in, exhale..

2-

Breathe in, exhale..

3– '

His breathing began to take a slower pace, Kyle's voice soothed him like no other but he was immediately tense back up by the sounds of a chainsaw.

Oh god, no.

He trembled trying to back further away but there was no more end to it. He looked fearsome at the door being torn apart and a crazy cupid me smirking menacingly poke inside.

"Oh, Eric~ come out from the closet, dear~" he sang, finally demolishing the door to it's entirety.

Cupid me gripped him from his shirt yanking him out and with a loud thump he shoved him to the floor, he whimpered trying to reach his bed and try shielding himself under it but Cupid me dragged him by the legs. Sobbing uncontrollably he was left no choice but to look into his eyes.

"Eric, I'm not trying to hurt you.. but you have to listen to me. You're in love with Jackson."

And with that, cupid me pointed a arrow at him, "this is for your own good, be happy and be as gay as you can possibly be tee hee~!" Finally releasing the arrow and knocking him out dead with a hit.

°°°°

He gasped wide awake, looking at his sweaty hands and seemingly back in bed. He looked around and cupid me was no longer in sight.

'Morning gay bitch'

Just Kyle, but that wasn't anything new for him.

He sighed feeling slightly better, "Morning.."

'Sleep well, fatass?'

"Slept like ass, but I do feel slightly better," and with that, he got out of bed and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

He had noticed it seemed to be quite earlier than usual his mother was still in bed, so he quietly walked passed her room to not disturb her.

Since when has that ever matter to him?

He made himself breakfast not bothering on waking up his mother, and soon after headed outside to meet up with his friends. They had agreed on hanging out for today at the skaters park.

Waving hello as he saw both Hershey and Stewart already sitting in some stairs waiting for the remaining members.

"Morning!"

"What's got you all smile and rainbows?" Stewart asked with a smile, arching a brow confused.

"Nothing, I just feel good you know," he shrugged, sitting in the spot next to him.

"You did a great job as judge, dog park," Hershey added, now sitting with his legs cross infront of them, mindlessly sliding his board from side to side.

"Thanks."

After a few minutes of chit chatting Jackson had finally arrived, eyes widen in surprise as he notice him, planting a kiss right away on his lips.

"Morning, baby nuts. Didn't think you'd be here this early," he gave a hand five to Stewart and a peace sign to Hershey before sitting down, "normally you're the last to arrive."

"I thought you'd be happier to see me~" he teased with a smirk.

"I'm always happy to see you."

His heart skipped a few beat smiling wide and his face felt heated.

"Damn, motherfuckers. Get a room," Stewart added with not much malice into it, taking out a small bag from his pocket of his baggy ass black pants.

"What the fuck is that?" He asked, curiously eyeing what it seems to be a couple of joints.

"Never tried a joint before, fatboy?"

He denied, he thought those shit were for pussies; poor people like Kenny and hippies, definitely for hippies. Goddamn how he hated hippies.

"Damn why didn't you say so!" He exclaimed baffled, his other two friends also looked distraught his way, "here," he passed him a joint but he hesitantly look at it.

There wasn't anything relatively good in those things, he's only gotten bad experiences just being near them. Being his mother a crackhead herself or seeing Kenny get himself high with paint for substituting it; even if he had countless times told him he should just stick with the joints instead of huffing paint like some crazy junkie. He also witnessed dumb highschoolers making themselves look like cringe looking fools being all high and shit promising himself he'll never be like them.

"What? Scared?" Stewart asked, taunting moving the joint in hand with a sly smirk.

And Jackson eyed him with a intense look, interest peeking his way.

'Don't do it, asshole'

He snatched that joint quicker than dashing off in a hurry when he hear the microwave announce with a beep that his hotpocket was ready.

Huffing a deep bunch, coughing loudly as it hit his throat awfully while his friends laughed by the first attempt.

"Killer.." he mustered out, feeling how the substance was already hitting him bad.

He was starting to feel a lot lighter since, also losing appetite and replacing his food with joints. Luckily his mother seem to not mind it much, as she view it being a phase of his now that's he's hitting adolescent anytime soon.

He layyed down, puffing some more of the weed given, turning on the tv lazily.

He laughed incredulous at the big companies that claim being precautious of the environment and safety of the children.

And he bashed on people who show any ounce of hatred towards animals.

Who do they think they are? This world is supposed to be freedom, we're all animals living in the same globe managed and ruled by arrogant men who play god.

Who can say who's to command the world? Just cause they speak and are highly intelligent than most animals there.

Someone should do something about it, go against this corrupted government and protest for the right of change and liberty.

He huffed another hit, before resting deeply his head against a cushion and doing absolutely nothing about it taking out his phone and putting on so music to avoid any mindless thinking.

His eyes widen in realization, "MOOOOOOOM," he screamed out loud in a scare.

°°°°

"Ah, I see," the doctor hummed, as he eyed his eyes with a small flashlight, "you're developing pussie-itis." He concluded.

"Oh my," he heard his mother gasped in surprise.

"What's that?" He asked confused.

"It only occurs to outsiders," he explained, placing back his flashlight in his coat, "it's a condition that could lead to severe head trauma being cause by being homesick or being expose for too long on a diffrent environment far different from your previous living."

"Nuh-uh! I'm not home sick!"

"This is serious, you could turn into a giant pussy."

He gasped by the revelation, covering his mouth.

"Is there any way to prevent that happening, doctor?," his mother asked concerning.

"Well, I could prescribe some medicine. But that still can't guarantee some changes in your son, Ms Cartman."

Being prescribe meds was super lame, but he had no choice into taking them.

However after a few days he got tired and decided to skip a few times and lastly shoving the pills inside a drawer completely forgetting about them as he venture with his friends doing whatever crappy shit hit their way.

Prev —

[dopaminergicaddictions]

3/9/24

5:34 a.m updated

I feel like I should hate Elise. Where are you?

I have psychosis. I hear auditory hallucinations and one text message from you would drastically improve my mental health. Bc then I wasn't wrong about meaning something to you. Idc If you're happy with your husband. I'm happy for you both.

I can't hate you. I want to. I mean if I was the past therapist and you were the client. 1 year to the date and I read your blog and I saw that you had psychosis I'd fucking show up for you.. I'd talk to you..I'd Introduce you to my family. I'd have Sunday funday with you.

I'd "risk" my career, why?? Bc I trust you and I care about you and If you haven't reported me yet you're never going to.

Your career, your families well being isn't at "risk" and never will be from Nathan Blanchette.. or anyone associated with me. I'd never hurt you and you know that.

I want to hate you. I want to despise you for not showing up for me. We don't have to talk about my stupid feelings for you.

I'd offer you a shoulder, I'd offer you someone to talk to. I'd offer you a healthy place to hang out once in a while. I may let you baby sit my kids after some time.

Christ. I'd have reached out my hand the second i saw you had psychosis with the relationship we shared.

Where are you?

The fucked up part is as upset as I am i don't hate you. I don't hate myself either.

What I feel is, I never mattered to you. You don't care about me. You'll never show up for me and I'm some broken mentally ill thing to you at this point that may as well be a stalker or a deranged psychopath.

That's what's really sad. I thought I saw your soul in your eyes. If I saw your soul where are you?

I Deleted Instagram. I deleted Facebook. For two reasons. Transphobic ads on both and once I saw you blocked me on Instagram I was like fuck this app its Transphobic anyways.

Here I am waiting around wondering if you'll ever show up for me as I struggle daily with psychosis and you're no where to be seen.

I'm still the same guy across the Webcam you made eye contact with. That deep eye contact. You saw my soul and you know I mean no harm to you. You know I'd throw myself in front of a bullet to save you or your husband or your girls.

So why aren't you here?

You know I'm happy for you and your husband. You know I won't bring up my feelings infact seeing you with him would resolve it all tbh..

Seeing you at all would resolve everything. Instead I feel fucking empty. And like I trusted someone I shouldn't have.

Maybe me messaging you at your job fucked us over. Maybe you need to wait longer. There I go being hopeful but maybe just maybe it does make some sense...

But where are you? Every night I dream of you and I'm always trying to find you.... or you're ignoring me.

If you're here and if you've ever been here and you saw I have psychosis and I microslept what am I supposed to think about you?

I should hate you. Yet I fucking love you so much I can't hate you. Even if you never talk to me I'll never hate you. I can't even resent you..

Instead I feel like I'm not good enough for you. I'm not good enough to know you. I'm too crazy to be worthy of knowing you despite my good intentions..

However I'll say this, you'll regret not knowing Nathan Blanchette for one reason only, I'm a good person and I am good enough, maybe not for you but I would still throw myself in front of a bullet for you even if you wouldn't say one word to me.

You could slit my throat and I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt. Yes that's from a song but it's true.

I hope you show up one day... but I have no eggs in that basket. I hope the relationship we shared and the promises you made you stick to. I hope you meant what you said. I hope you do care and I do mean something to you.

I think about those eyes and I go how could I be wrong. I think about the conversations and I think how could I be wrong. I think about everything as a whole and I think how could I be wrong.

It must be bc I messaged her at work again.

I hope that's the reason. I hope one day you send me that message. I'm waiting but I'm not holding my breath.

If you never do ill always believe I wasn't good enough for you and you saw a drooling lunatic...

But I want you to remember my eyes. Look at them. Look into my eyes in a photo remember the boy across the Webcam. And ask yourself why you won't show up? Why you won't risk it? When you saw my soul.

I guess I have to accept that to you I'm a drooling lunatic. But I'm a good person elise. I mean well and I would have held your hand platonically to the end. Through everything..

And I still will..even 6 years from now. I will. I'll always be there for you if you ever need me.

[xxsycamore]

XX 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓

► SYNOPSIS:

You go to see Napoleon at the police station, entering to the sight of him cleaning his gυn.

Naturally, it arouses your curiosity.

▍police officer!napoleon x afab!reader

▍rating: E (mdni)

▍tags: Gυn Kink; Bad Use of Police Equipment; Alternate Universe - Modern Setting; Deepthroating A GυN; and not just the gυn; deranged smut; Blow Jobs; Come Swallowing; Police Uniforms 

▍cw: this fic contains usage of a (non-loaded) gυn for sexual purposes, so make sure to avoid reading if this makes you uncomfortable!

▍wordcount:  2,315

▍masterlist

▍a/n: Have you seen the new card? Well, this was my reaction to it. I decided to stick to what I said! Fuck the police am I right? I'll go hide somewhere now. Enjoy ❤

Entering the police station where your boyfriend works as of recently, you know the smile won't leave your face in the foreseen few minutes. For one, because seeing what his noisy bunch of colleagues are up to is always rising your spirits. The guys love you and you love them too - catching a glimpse of them bickering and pausing to greet you, you feel like you're walking through a rowdy share house rather than a police station.

"Congrats, Hondje. Your man sure is quite something to climb the ranks so fast."

To miss someone as large as Theo, you sure must be distracted - but your dreamy smile is quickly morphing into a pout as he tousles your hair. You raise a hand to smack his away but you give up and opt to just fix the ruffled mess he created. His teasing successfully heats up your cheeks at the mention of your boyfriend.

Napoleon was last to join the unit and is already its leader, in just a few months - today being his first day as one officially. Out of the whole palette of emotions surging in you varying from pride to astonishment, a huge portion of embarrassment is now added in the mix as well. You neglected to consider the unit's reaction - and the following teasing.

"Yeah, you know how he is… I don't even know if he was seriously trying for the position."

"Woah there, little bird." Another colleague of his, Arthur, gives your shoulder a pat - which you really prefer over the flirty arm-around-the-shoulder greeting he usually goes by, and winks at you. "Must be nice to have a girlfriend that strokes your ego even when you're not around, huh? That bastard."

"What- No, I didn't mean-"

Before you can defend yourself properly, Theo sighs and walks past the two of you and straight towards the exit, but not without glaring at Arthur.

"Stop talking shit and go clock in already. I'm out."

Arthur is successfully distracted, hands on his hips as he watches Theo's departure and yells an un-heartfelt goodbye at him while he's still in hearing range. Theo just waves behind his back, more at you than anything, and then he's gone. It's Arthur's turn to sigh now, maintaining the posture, and you can't help but think that they're just a liiitle bit alike in some aspects.

"He has the nights off this whole week, and for what? It should be saved for those of us who actually have a social life."

You find it humorous that Arthur laments the loss of another night spent surrounded by girls in a bar, critiquing Theo while actually, as you can recall, the two of them hit those bars together most of the time.

"Ah but not ALL of us have to be lonely." The mischievous glint in his deep blue eyes is unmistakable as he looks at you before you can try to verbalize some kind of sympathy, thus saving you from the white lie -  but probably not for good. "Boss is waiting for you upstairs. In his new office."

Now, there are several important bullet points here to be structured, like what he called him, or the reminder that you'd have to change your usual route to the unfamiliar door instead, but the most exclamation marks stand after the statement that he's waiting for you. Well, yeah, it is the end of his shift and you didn't come here without shooting him a text beforehand, but you're a little too used to seeing him busying himself around the station instead, making himself useful to his best extent. You'll have to wait until after you bid Arthur goodbye to give your cheeks a well-needed little grounding pat each, so you hurry up with getting there.

"Uh-huh. Thanks for letting me know, Arthur. I better not keep him waiting."

***

"Knock knock." You announce your presence, seeing that the office door is wide open - but decide not to keep it that way, closing it from the inside once you step in. You don't want any nosy colleagues peeking in while you give your boyfriend a greeting kiss. Which you leap at him for, right away.

"Hey." He smirks, collecting you in his arms as he's half-seated at the edge of his desk. Inhaling the scent of his cologne that still sticks as strongly to his clothes as it does when he leaves in the morning, your eyelids close to take it better in. It's only when you open them again that you notice what exactly he put to the side earlier in order to give you a hug.

It's the base of his gυn, now set down next to its other parts as it's been taken apart. You faintly remember Napoleon performing a field strip in front of you in one of his early days at the station, and you know that it's done to facilitate cleaning. Which by all looks seems like what you interrupted right now.

Seeing where you attention escaped to, Napoleon lifts your chin with a single finger and nudges it his way, capturing your lips for a kiss. You nearly melt into it and are surprised that he's first to withdraw.

"I was just getting finished here." He maneuvers you to sit on his left thigh as he sits more steadily at the edge of the desk. You're left with no choice but to put your hands around his neck like a koala since he needs his two free to put the gυn together. You don't mind at all, it's a first class seat for the demonstration taking place in front of you.

You watch with avid interest as he picks up the small rag to clean a spot he missed on one of the dismantled parts, his eyes sharpening as he puts attention to the smallest of details with utter concentration.

"Now you go like this…" He begins the assembling, putting the barrel back into place, moving on to the next part and the next until they're all on their places, the process accompanied by occasional guiding words.

He chuckles, producing his trademark snrk noise as he usually does when you give him that sparkly enthusiasm-loaded gaze. He finds it amusing that something that’s an ordinary task for him can capture your interest like that.

"You that impressed, nunuche?"

You crinkle your nose at him in frown which just makes you more kissable in his eyes. He gives your lips a quick peck, gυn still in his hands just underneath your faces.

You lean in for a peck next, and just to play with him and take your revenge for being bullied, you duck and kiss the gυn instead of him.

He knits his brows in offence that is more a jest that anything, but he is interested in the game. He lifts the thoroughly cleaned gυn closer to your mouth and rubs your lips softly with the muzzle, with the intention to nudge your lower lip open so he can go for another kiss, just a small act of tease.

You only get bolder, your lips gaping indeed, but you lean in to wrap them around the tip of the gυn.

Napoleon's facial muscles freeze for a second, his eyes darkening. You can feel the leg you're seated on twitch, and you doubt that it's simply because of it going numb under your weight or something. It only prompts you to readjust your position, grinding your bottom on him under the pretext of getting steadier on top of him.

You forget that it's Napoleon who is in the control of the situation and it's his hand that is holding the object in your mouth.

"You're playing dirty." It's all he says, devoid of the usual smirk that would reach his eyes otherwise - now his demeanor is stoic and his movements calculated. He presses the metal object further inside your mouth, making you change the position of your tongue so you can take it in.

Your eyes widen in alert but you don't move an inch, doing everything to let him known non-verbally that you want this to happen. Thrill sends you heart leaping like crazy. You don't want to be the wiser one and put an end to the dangerous liaison first. And why should it be ended? The gυn is freshly cleaned, not loaded and most importantly in the hands of the one person you trust with your life.

Napoleon lets out a protruded breather, pushing himself away from the desk gradually and thus making you slide downwards with the movement. Your knees meet the floor.

He holds the gυn in front of his crouch, glistening with saliva and ready to be welcomed back in the warm cave of your mouth. You eagerly wrap your lips anew around it. From the position you’re in, to the hard object in your mouth, to your nose pressed up in his uniform trousers, it all reminds you well enough of sucking him off, but the twisted scenario adds to the inferno inside of you. A moan slips from the depth of your throat, and Napoleon presses the object forward.

Thankfully your gag reflex rests unbothered from the thrust, making your head spin with wanton unmarred by caution. You want nothing but for him to deepthroat you with the gυn, and you demonstrate your willingness by closing your eyes. Feeling the familiar itch of desire, your lithe fingers find it easy to rub some stimulation between your legs in your current position, but Napoleon is not so drunk on lust not to notice.

"Hands behind your back."

His tone is stern and you obey on the spot, holding with one hand the wrist of your other in a secure lock. It's then when Napoleon thrusts the gυn inwards again, nearly hitting the back of your throat.

The noises your mouth emits are now more reminiscent of the more heated sessions of oral you'd perform on him, and even in those, Napoleon rarely deepthroats you. The metal object in your mouth is surprisingly well suited for the task, being shorter and thinner than Napoleon's cock that you're so familiar with. He finds the right tempo, holding your hair in one hand and fucking your mouth with the gυn in the other, aquamarine eyes never leaving the sight of it. It's like he wants to burn this into his memory; a scene so filthy it's almost pornographic, borderline taboo - one that would undoubtedly play in his imagination next time he has his fist wrapped around his length.

You begin to drool from the corners of your mouth, the gυn thoroughly coated in your saliva. You begin to rock back and forth softly, your pussy weeping for the absence of something to lodge deep inside in a similar fashion to the attention your mouth receives.

Just as you begin to get lost in the steady rhythm of his thrusts, your toy is taken away from you. The sound of the uniform trousers' zipper pulled undone enters your ears and a new gush of arouse moves throughout your body, almost by instinct alone.

In a flash, Napoleon swaps the gυn with his cock. His breathing is already rigid, being fairly worked up from doing this to you. Now that he claims your mouth with what he knows for a fact is your favorite toy, he can't help but be selfish.

You take the initiative, moaning and groaning around his length at first, coating it in your saliva to lubricate it for what is coming. Of course, that piece of metal can't be more deserving of your best services more than his cock is, and you want to prove it to him.

Napoleon gets you so well, even without words. He waits for you to take it promptly deep in your mouth, and resumes his thrusts - this time not with his hand, but with his hips.

Your hands fail to maintain the previous order and fall from behind your back in the favor of giving you a better balance. You put them on his legs instead, clutching the fabric, crawling further up until you can claw at his rear.

Napoleon whispers to you words of praise; of lustful accusation of how much you turn him on in the worst of places, of how you make him lose control. He warns you of his upcoming peak, and you swallow around his length in expectation, urging him on.

His deft fingers bury themselves in your hair without pulling to the point of pain as a groan escapes his throat. His hips buckle forward and the first stream of cum hits the back of your throat, making you unable to stay still. He wants to withdraw and give you room to breathe but you stubbornly keep most of his length inside your mouth, letting it all splash on your tongue. You suck him until he can't give you any more of his hot cum, and then some.

"You absolute vixen." He racks his fingers through his bangs once he's made sure you're fine and helped back on your feet, even with difficulty. He can't resist to kiss you, and you in turn can't resist to chuckle against his mouth, cutting it too short.

"I was gonna say, congrats on the new office, boss."

His breath hits your cheek as he huffs, slammed by your wits.

"I'm merely putting things to good use as expected of me." He snaps back, this time clamming the kiss that you denied him before you can shy out of it from the way he worded that. He'll ask more about the way you addressed him later. Now all he has in his mind is you in the red dress he bought, seated opposite him as he dines and wines you, celebrating the promotion. That's it, unless his well-thought girlfriend has another plan in mind.

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @ale-teodora @kimi00twin @otomelady @privilegedpancake @g-kleran  @thehappycat123 @pumpumnnnp @thesirenwashere @theuwuisunreal @ravenarld @kyokirigiri-22 @kimmy-banana @devonares @animeworldsposts @randomanimatedhusbandoseeker @galaxyprison @trishtori @sadshaxk @starshards26 @pro-cat-stination @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @keen19thcenturygoatsstudent @lordsister @ikemen-banshou  @themysticalbeing @canaria-blackwell @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @fun-ghoul-neela @salty-fed-up-bitch  @coornn @cilokgoang​ @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @aquagirl1978 ​ @ikemenlover24 @violettduchess @mcofthemansion @tiny-wooden-robot @joy-the-reader @atelieredux @cilokgoang Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

[noodle-anime]

i'm trying word of honor and it is DERANGED i'm having a great time

literally the worst sword fight i've ever seen

dramatic stripping while hallucinating the dead ex-boyfriend

multiple political deaths

my guy is coughing blood and only has two years to live

the sets, costumes, and wigs are INCREDIBLY elaborate and actually quite good i think

it's only been half an hour!

this is an action telenovela, that's what's going on

oh also he paints

everybody quotes poetry that i'm sure has great significance but i do not understand that reference

ah i think he's been exiled possibly?

now he's doing the mission impossible mask. my guy how am i supposed to keep track of who's who i just got here

they spend their whole budget on styrofoam rocks and funny hats and the fight scenes are just disconnected slow motion shots of people flailing

the way you identify a ghost is 1. funny hat 2. lipstick 3. red eyeliner 3. other assorted makeup/hair looks

TIME SKIP. MY GUY I JUST GOT HERE, SLOW DOWN.

where do they get these sets??? this is a whole street

SLOW PAN UP THE TEACUP AND GENTLY FLAPPING FAN LADIES AND GENTS LOVE INTEREST IDENTIFIED

ah this girly is cute ur honor

oh she's got a WHIP. nice.

what i assume is supposed to be a teenager out getting pastries for mom: oh! a random guy who sits on the side of the road drinking and knows some martial arts! here's my business card, come stay at my house

my guy: tanned, fit, lies on the street drinking, knows martial arts, unkempt but otherwise just A Dude

everyone he meets: obviously this man is dying

i mean he IS dying but how do you know??? he just coughed. once. maybe it was a gnat. it wasn't even a big cough it was just a little cough. do regular people not cough.

Aaaaaaah good old magic sword man flight aka t-posing to assert dominance over gravity

Magic sword man fighting style two: spinning!

oooh he's got one of them bendy swords

BOAT CABBIE HAS SWORDS!!! GO GET EM DUDE!

cabbie man, dying: pay your fucking tab

cabbie man: in place of silver i will accept you adopting this random child. if you don't i'll turn your bones into soup.

love interest: if you do martial arts in front of me i'll show up to fight you at random, compliment your fighting and your face, and make meaningful intense eye contact with you

"here, eat my dinner. c'mon. c'mon. I'm complimenting you with poetry. eat my bread on a stick."

there is something Deeply Wrong with this love interest 😁

"Look at me aren't I so impressive reciting poetry for you?! I'm handsome and dramatic pay attention to me"

Oh we have a SAVAGE grandma on the scene

"No don't leeeeeeaaaaaave come on a road trip with meeeeeeee"

*wheezing* "you don't understand he's pretty and smart and has nice shoulders I can't NOT fuck him"

EVIL STRING! EVIL STRING!

"I put on a new outfiiiiiiit and I'm sitting prettily next to the road with tea! Randomly! Come sit with me! Oh youre at the river let me recite poetry for you! Wait where are you going come back"

THERE IS NO ROOM IN THIS IN BC SURPRISE! I BOUGHT THE INN

Oh noooo there's only one presidential suite we'll have to share! Oh no!

Oh is he a ghost???? I want to know your secrets stalker man

AHA HE IS HE'S CRACKING THE WALNUTS LIKE THE GHOST DUDE

New fighting style unlocked: smack them in the face with a wet rag

HE HAS THE CONSUMPTION

"Oh mercy me I'm just minding my own business playing romantic flute music on my boat with a famous chef passing by your location for 😊 no 😊 reason 😘"

Has this man ever actually managed to have a drink in his gourd or does he just pull it out to shake upside down when people are trying to make eye contact with him

He done killed a man with a ham hock

Join me in my stalking ways, child, if we both rope him he can't get away!

and that's where i'm stopping for now :)

[drblood-bringer-of-death]

Yay! Another Tyrian x Watts fanfiction for Nuts and Volts week! Seriously I cant get enough of these guys! Anyway, hope everyone over at @nutsandvoltsweek enjoys it!

Waltzing into love

Warnings: literally just some mild cursing.

They hated it. Every single second of being stuck in the stuffy, crowded room full of pompous, rich assholes. Arthur glared at anyone unfortunate enough to make eye contact with him and he stayed as far away from the dance floor as possible. He hated parties as much as he hated people. He would much rather be back in the grimm lands, tinkering away at his inventions without a single interruption. But he was not the only one who hated being there. As grand and beautiful as Atlesian parties were, they had a very strict policy to them. No Faunus, No improper dress, and absolutely No exceptions. Tyrian, as sporadic and chaotic as the man was, unfortunately was the best fit to go with Arthur to this party. Salem decided that Hazel would be too intimidating, Emerald and Mercury were too young,  and Cinder would have stuck out like a sore thumb. So Tyrian was voluntold to attend as Arthur's date. He sulked even more than Arthur did. He might have even hated it more than the mustached man. Due to the strict policy, Tyrian had to wear what he considered "constrictive" clothing. And worst of all he couldn't even use his tail! Arthur had insisted he hide it, since it was against the rules. Tyrian fought him on it, to no avail as he knew Arthur was right. So the two brooded in their fancy clothing in a corner of the ballroom. They avoided everyone and if it wasn't for Arthur's accursed reputation he would have never even attended this godforsaken party. Maybe he could figure out some way to fake his death or even actually die just to avoid these parties.

"This is pointless!" Tyrian growled.

"It's not entirely pointless, but it's Incredibly dull." Arthur retorted, focusing all his attention on his scroll.

"Why did I have to come here?! I hate this! I feel like I'm restricting all my natural instincts!" Tyrian continued to complain as he pulled on the dark purple tie around his neck.

"Stop pulling at that you'll undo it! And you know why she chose you to come with me. And stop tugging on the tie!" Arthur said angrily as he turned towards Tyrian, who had managed to actually undo his tie. "How did you even? Ugh just let me fix it!" Arthur swatted away Tyrians hands and grabbed ahold of the tie. Fastening it once again.

"Ahem, am I interrupting anything?" The unwanted and annoying voice of Jaques Schnee broke through Arthurs grumbling. His brow twitched in annoyance and he sighed before facing the unbearable aristocrat.

"Why Jaques, what a pleasure to see you again." Arthur lied through his teeth.

"A pleasure as well. Who, may I ask, are you?" He directed the question towards Tyrian who stiffened as a response.

"Uh, Tyrian Callows, associate of Watts here." He shook the older man's hand in forced politeness.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Callows. I had no idea Arthur was into such… interesting company." His tone of voice and the way he glanced at Arthur smugly,  clearly portrayed that he suspected something else. "why I'd even say you might be planning something… more forbidding." Tyrian pailed, could he really figure them out that easily? He looked at Arthur and they shared a panicked look.

"Jaques if you're suggesting-" Arthur started to accuse him but Jaques cut him off.

"Oh come now Arthur, you know i wouldn't care if you were gay, it's quite common nowadays, and I've been suspecting it for a while anyway-" Watts and Tyrians faces went bright red. "I was simply baffled that you managed to find someone to deal with your arrogance." He finished.

"I-my arrogance- excuse me?!" Arthur said offhandedly. Jaques only laughed at him.

"Relax, you know that the General himself is gay right? Really it doesn't matter here, why not show some affection! Have a dance or two! There's nothing to hide." And before Arthur, pr even Tyrian for that matter, could stutter out a response Jaques turned on his heels and walked away smirking.

"Does he think-? I mean really?" Tyrian asked before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. His entire body shook with each inhale of breath. As he laughed and laughed Arthur's face grew more and more red, out of both embarrassment and anger.

"You shut up!" He snapped at Tyrian. Whose laughter seemed never ending. Making Arthurs anger grow.

"Re- hehehe- relax Arthur. Haha, as far as we know, this could be an advantage." Tyrian offered through dying giggles.

"What do you mean?" Arthurs anger sizzled but he stopped feeling the innate need to punch the Faunus. Tyrian wiped a tear from his eye.

"Well think about it. You could gain some massive publicity points if you came out as gay, and if we did it here it would be massively successful. All we have to do is dance a little bit and maybe hold hands. People will come to the conclusion on their own and it'll be all over the news tomorrow. "Infamous inventor Arthur Watts supporting his community through love!" Can you imagine that?" Arthur paused.

Unhinged, deranged, murderous, insane… and intelligent. Those are the words Arthur would use to describe Tyrian right now. As unpredictable as the man is, he could read people and play off them better than even Salem herself.

"That… could work." Arthur poundered. The plan was foolproof, and even if it went wrong then it would cause protests in the communities drawing grimm in. "Yes. It would work quite well." Arthur hummed to himself and Tyrian smirked.

"Well then let's get to it and put on a show!" He cheered in a manic giggle as he pulled Arthur away from their protective corner and into the center of the dancefloor. Arthur huffed behind him, not expecting the pull. Although he should really expect everything from Tyrian.

"I told you to relax already Arthur! All we need to do is dance a bit and act all coupley." Tyrian smirked again and Arthur got some sort of primal feeling in his gut to run. As if something far more sinister than even they had planned was happening. But he ignored it, it was not the first, or last, time he would have that feeling while with the scorpion.

"It's Impossible to relax with you" he retorted harshly, shifting himself and Tyrian into a waltzing position. Slowly the music ran through the room and the many people around them began to move to the three step beat.

"Your words wound me Arthur," Tyrian mocked. "I'm the most relaxing person I know! Well besides Hazel." He held back a giggle.

"Your a caffeinated maniac trapped inside a padded room. I absolutely do not find you relaxing!" Arthur all but growled.

"A bit touchy aren't you? Was it something that Mr. Schnee said that caught your nerves?" He smirked wildly at Arthur who tried his best to keep his composure. As he tried to calm his breathing Tyrians insane smile reached his eyes. "Oh my, your heart rate picked up! I must be onto something!" Arthur started to panic.

"You did not- wait you can sense my heart rate? No, nevermind that!" He attempted to gather his thoughts as he and Tyrian glided across the ballroom floor, sliding in time with everyone around them. If you weren't right next to the pair it would be like they were just enjoying themselves and not having a frantic argument.

"Poor Arthur Watts, not admitting that old Mr. Schnee was right! What an exciting evening this has become!" Tyrians giggles seemed to pour out of his mouth.

"Would you just shut up! I've already said that to you tonight, you psychopath! Now stop talking and lets finish this stupid dance!" Arthur was pissed off now, he couldn't stand looking at Tyrians pretty eyes or his handsome face any longer. So he decided to do something about it. As the song approached it's climax he brought Tyrian into a sudden spin, catching the scorpion off guard. As he pulled Tyrian back into him, he made up his mind. Placing one foot behind Tyrians and throwing his center of balance off, he dipped the younger man. He heard people around them gasp, some of them seemed shocked, but through all the noise he heard two distinct things. One: Jaques Schnee saying " I called it!", and two, Tyrian Callows' sharp inhale of breath. He pulled them back up. Releasing Tyrians lips as he did, and then he turned and walked out of the room.

Tyrian stumbled, that was not expected at all. He knew Arthur was gay but he never dared to dream that Arthur liked him. He got over the shock, more delayed than he'd like, but nevertheless he rushed after Arthur and found the man pacing an empty hallway.

"Why did I do that? What was the logic of that? It was pointless, im pointless. For fucks sake we're both adults why couldn't I just talk to him!?" Arthur mutters to himself as he paced, not even noticing that Tyrian was right next to him. "Damnit, that was so stupid! Why is he so handsomely intimidating? What can't I just be normal-"

"Because you're Arthur Watts, inventor and doctor, smarter than anyone else i know and absolutely hopelessly in love with me" Tyrian interrupted, his voice caught Arthur off guard and he would never admit how much that genuinely scared him.

"Ty- Tyrian look, what I-" he was cut off as said man lunged at him suddenly, crowding his precious space.

"Just shut up and kiss me again" the scorpion demanded as he rolled his eyes and pulled Arthur into him. Their lips crashed together again, yet the feeling was different. Before Arthur could barely feel the kiss at all, but now he felt like sparks were flying down his spine and static was invading his mind. Arthur let himself fall mentally, his brilliant mind failing him when he needed it most, so he just let it happen. Let his body do the talking for once.

Tyrian on the other hand was practically shaking with joy, he had a crush on the doctor for a while now but he truly never believed Arthur would like him back, let alone make the first move! He could not be happier even if his own goddess showed up just then! He felt as if nothing could ruin this sweet moment of love. And he was right, not a soul came out of the party to find them and they were left alone in the hallway. As Tyrian let go of Arthur he smiled. Not a crazed, classic Tyrian smile, but a calm, genuine one. Arthur felt his heart skip more than one beat, and he was sure Tyrian felt it too. Soon enough Tyrians soft laughter bubbled out of his mouth.

"What's so funny?" Arthur asked, his usual scoff lightened just a touch.

"Well the fact that we literally waltzed into love." Arthur's eyes rolled.

"That was cheesy." He huffed as he set his head on Tyrians shoulder.

"No, parmesan is cheesy." Arthur sighed. The moment was ruined by the man who created it. And he could not help the small smile that was hidden by his mustache. Maybe tonight was worth the party.