#this got so long lol sorry vicky I feel like this was a very roundabout answer

[wastemanjohn]

happy deanjohn friday!! does JOHN know about dean and bobby and how do you want him to find out?

happy deanjohn friday to you also (or Saturday now!) ❤ and thanks for the ask this is so spicy!!

maybe a less spicy answer though: i actually think that john would never ever find out. i don't even think he would ever suspect - kind of similar to what's been brought up about bobby suspecting johndean, i think that works both ways - if john notices anything slightly strange in their interactions his first thought is not going to be "well they're obviously bumping uglies" - he'd find other, way less extreme explanations before he landed there. it's uncomfortable as fuck to think about, but bobby has also been a parental figure in dean's life - someone john has trusted, which, no matter how sour his and bobby's relationship obviously got later, trusting bobby to take care of his kids would have been a huge deal for someone as paranoid as john. so later in life, when dean is an adult, it would just not occur to him that deanbobby could ever be the case. plus i'm also not sure how tuned in john is to other people to even notice much about them anyway! he's quite self absorbed. that no doubt extends to dean.

and dean - i don't see dean keeping, or being able to keep, many secrets from john. but there's no way he's ever telling john about this. he well knows that bobby wouldn't be long for this world if he ever did. and if we're talking background johndean - then dean also knows that for john to find out would be very bad for him. no one wants their husband to know that they're secretly banging their best friend, right? i think i see bobby as an escape from john, that bobby can maybe give him things that john can't. consistency. appreciation. undivided attention - a lonely old man like bobby is not going to take a pretty young thing in his bed for granted, and he isn't going to take dean for granted generally. dean may not even be conscious that this is what it's about for him - and he may feel very conflicted and guilty about it. but it's all the more reason for john to never know - because it would be admitting to both john and to himself that john isn't willing or able to give him what he needs. that would be so painful for dean to confront i think. john too, probably - he does not great things and behaves in not great ways. but i think he at least feels a lot of guilt about them.

bobby, obviously, is not going to let on. to protect dean and to protect himself. he too knows that john would kill him and probably not just metaphorically lol. i think bobby would be super conflicted and confused about the whole thing as it is - for maybe obvious reasons - but that's another post.

but yeah- ultimately i see deanbobby as something that happens in a great amount of secrecy. i don't know about anyone else but to me dean and bobby having a sexual relationship feels way more taboo than john and dean having one - which is crazy, but biological or not, i can't see bobby as anything other than dean's dad. i actually always felt low key squicked about shipping them until some very indepth and convincing conversations with @vintagedean recently. i know bobby also has his own not-small flaws and not everyone is as up his arse as i am lol - but anyway, to me that taboo is definitely reflected in any relationship they have. they aren't talking about it or acknowledging it unless it's happening. they're not being lax about hiding it from sam, they really don't want him to know either. it only ever happens in bobby's house, and only when no one else is around. it's something they'll both probably take to their grave.

so how would i want john to find out? i don't think i do. for me personally the secrecy/shame/extramarital affair angle is a huge part of the appeal of this ship. though i'm sure it would cause dean a lot of anxiety - getting back into bed with john after a solo hunt, knowing full well he took a detour on the way back, still a little sore and dazed from bobby - but he knows, deep down, that john isn't going to notice. he doesn't seem to notice much at all.