#this goes in the tag so hopefully more people see it and because it's relevant

[wajjs]

I am sorry but I'm peeved by this post. Or more like, peeved by the justifications as to why Hal Jordan should be considered androgynous.

First of all, there is NO way around it, Hal Jordan IS a very masc man. He looks like a man. By definition, someone who is androgynous looking is neither distinguishably masculine nor feminine, as in dress, appearance, or behavior. That does not apply to Hal (least of all to Lobo). Hal is very masculine looking.

But leaving that aside, my main point of contention is... you guys KNOW that genderqueer and genderfluid people DON'T owe you androgyny, right? Like you guys KNOW someone can be genderqueer/fluid while not looking androgynous, RIGHT?

Being genderqueer doesn't mean being androgynous. Those things are NOT synonyms, and it is sincerely bullshit that they're still treated as such. Someone can be very much genderqueer while presenting themselves as a specific gender. Someone can be genderqueer but not look androgynous because they have huge tits, for example, and not looking a certain way does not make them less queer.

It's not cute or innocent to correlate looking androgynous to being genderqueer or genderfluid. Fucking knock that off.

[ataliagold]

you're the only one who knows, you slow it down

For @astrangersummer week 13 prompts 'cat' and 'farmers market'. Title from Look After You by The Fray. And yes, I watched A Quiet Place Day One and was obsessed with Frodo...

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson

Rating: T

W/C: 1791

Tags: Modern AU, No Upside Down, First Meeting, Steve has PTSD, Steve has a service cat, Steve wears glasses, Eddie Munson is a sweetheart, panic attacks, Eddie takes care of Steve, referenced child abuse, autistic Steve (not overly relevant here but still)

Summary: Eddie's at a farmers market when he's approached by a very determined black and white cat. On a whim, he follows him to a young man having a panic attack in the woods.

___

Eddie’s browsing the little jewelry stand at the far end of the Farmer’s Market, glancing over hand-made leather bracelets and cheap silver rings while the old lady behind the table watches him hopefully. Over a blare of emergency sirens from the street in the distance he can hear Wayne behind him bartering with someone who’s wanting to buy one of his plants, the plants Eddie had been roped into carting there from the van in boxes that were too fucking heavy and he’d been drenched in sweat almost immediately under the summer sun.

He looks up briefly, regrets it immediately because the vendor’s eyes light up and fuck now he’s gotta buy something…

He’s interrupted by something soft brushing against his ankle.

Hanging up a black leather band, he looks down. Blinks a few times, confused.

There’s a black and white cat butting its little head against his leg. The cat stares back up at him with yellow eyes, wide and imploring.

“Uh….hi?” Eddie says, moving his leg away a bit because he doesn’t really do cats, has never interacted with them much before to be fair, other than the feral ones that hung around the trash in the trailer park and those weren’t exactly…friendly.

This guy is far cuter and cleaner than those cats ever were, though.

He’s got a maroon collar with a tag attached, and a red harness with a loose lead trailing behind him.

The cat steps closer to Eddie. Insistent now, shoving his face into his ankle again, then lets out an imploring meow.

“Where’s your owner?” Eddie asks to no one in particular, swiveling his head and surveying his surroundings. He sees fruit stands with enormous oranges, a honey stall, someone selling flowers off to his right, a small crowd browsing the wares but no one that looks like they’ve lost a black and white cat.

The cat meows again.

Eddie stoops down, gingerly reaches for its collar, reads the tiny writing on the tag in hope of some owners’ details.

Frodo - service cat

And Eddie had heard of service dogs, sure, but a cat?

A great name though, he admits.

He squints at the phone number etched below the name. Pulls out his phone, dials it. All the while Frodo meows at him, slams his head more forcefully into Eddie’s shin.

The call rings out to a voicemail, a guy called Steve in the message.

Eddie hangs up. Sighs, carefully pats the cat with a single finger on his head.

“You’re kinda cute, huh?” Eddie murmurs. “Someone’s missing you, for sure.”

He stands up again. Frodo moves several steps away, stops, stares back at him.

A lightbulb goes off in Eddie’s head.

He takes a step towards the cat. Frodo squeaks out a noise that seems happy to Eddie, and he steps even closer.

Frodo turns tail and trots off away from the market, and Eddie follows, Frodo glancing back every now and then to check Eddie’s still with him.

And so, the cat leads him towards a little copse of trees on the far side of the park. It’s pretty deserted out here, with most people busy browsing the market instead of taking their morning walks.

But as they get closer to the clearing in the middle of the trees, Eddie hears it.

Light gasps, panicked breathing, someone trying to suck in oxygen that just won’t come.

He quickens his step towards it. Frodo speeds up too, breaking away from Eddie now and bounding into the trees.

There’s a young man sitting in the dirt.

His knees are pulled to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, and he’s rocking back and forth a little. His cheeks are wet, eyes clenched shut behind crooked glasses.

Eddie drops to his knees beside the man, hand hovering above his shoulder, not sure whether or not to touch because he knew a thing or two about panic attacks, knew this was what he was seeing, didn’t want to frighten the man and make it worse…

Frodo presses himself up against the man’s side, trills quietly. The man shifts, blindly reaches for the cat, unfolds himself a bit and hauls the animal into his lap, burying his face in warm fur.

“…hi,” Eddie says quietly, barely audible, clears his throat and tries again. “Hi. I’m…I’m Eddie.”

The man goes still. Freezes, noticing Eddie for the first time. He peeks out from behind Frodo’s head, blinking up at Eddie, eyes red and sore-looking but also honey-brown and soft. He’s got moles dotted across his cheeks, hair long and mussed and falling across his face.

He’s fucking gorgeous, Eddie’s brain supplies.

He forces that thought away – it’s not exactly helpful right now.

“Are you Steve?” Eddie guesses.

A small, singular nod.

“I found your cat,” Eddie supplies. “Or…he found me, I guess. Led me here. He’s pretty clever.”

“He’s the b-best,” Steve croaks, his voice raspy and rough and broken. “He’s a service cat. But you can…you can go, s’fine.”

Eddie frowns, shakes his head. “I’m thinking he came and got me for a reason, huh?”

Steve looks away, shrugs.

Eddie waits, gives him time to answer, but Steve doesn’t speak again. He hugs his cat to his chest, still lightly trembling all over.

“How about…I sit here for a few minutes, and you take some deep breaths, huh? I’m thinking you’ve had a panic attack, and those suck – trust me, I know – but you need to get your breath back, ok?” Eddie reaches for Steve, hand ghosting over his shoulder now.

Steve flinches lightly, but doesn’t pull away.

Frodo purrs away calmly in Steve’s lap, letting his owner squeeze him close.

And Eddie sits, and waits.

He remembers his own panic attacks as a kid, after he’d wake up from a nightmare about his dad – where he swore the stench of alcohol was in his room, when his dad was surely just outside his bedroom door, all tension wound tight and clenched fists and ready to unleash a barrage of abuse at him. His uncle Wayne would step quietly into his room, would gather him up and hold him tight, would talk to him quietly about everything and nothing all at once until Eddie drifted peacefully back to sleep.

As the minutes tick by, Eddie starts to talk.

“I don’t know much about cats, but yours is pretty clever,” he murmurs, rubbing circles across Steve’s broad back, over the soft yellow sweater he was wearing. “He came right up to me, no idea why he picked me out of a crowd of nice old ladies at the market, but he wasn’t taking no for an answer, he insisted on getting me to you. I guess that’s his job, right? Just like how some service dogs are trained to go and get someone if their owner is in trouble? I used to have this neighbour, this girl called Max, she had some disabilities after a car accident, and she had a dog who was trained to do that sort of stuff. But you’ve got Frodo.”

Steve’s breathing is evening out, his shoulders untensing slightly as Eddie speaks.

“Badass name, by the way,” Eddie continues, chuckling a little. “I’m guessing you’re a Lord of the Rings fan, then. So am I. In fact, it’s probably my favourite -”

“Not a fan,” Steve mumbles.

Eddie pauses mid-sentence. “…oh,” he finishes lamely.

Steve shifts a little, the tiniest smile twitching at his lips.

Eddie’s heart thumps in his chest at the sight of it.

“This kid I used to babysit, his name’s Dustin, he picked the name,” Steve clarifies, his voice a little clearer now, a little less forced. “It just kinda stuck.”

“It suits him,” Eddie assures him, reaching a hand out to the cat. He quickly snatches it back, remembers Max telling him over and over that you weren’t supposed to pat a service animal when they’re working. “Sorry,” he says quickly, “I didn’t mean to…well. He’s working.”

Steve smiles, wider now.

Eddie blinks slowly at him, feeling stupid and warm and weak for this man.

“You can pat him,” Steve says quietly, just above a whisper. He unfolds his legs, loosens his grip on Frodo just a little, giving Eddie room to reach across to the cat.

Eddie grins as his fingers find soft fur. He traces over Frodo’s head and the cat purrs louder, pressing back into his hand.

Steve watches, tears drying on his cheeks. He lifts his glasses, rubs at his eyes, then straightens them again.

“It was the sirens,” he says, a little choked up still.

Eddie nods slowly, continues to pat Frodo.

“Over on Main Street, I think, I was walking past and they were really loud, and then more and more started and then there was that fire engine too and all the flashing lights and…”

Eddie heard it earlier, too. Some crash near the park, the ladies at the market had gossiped amongst themselves.

“…and I tried to move away, but they were everywhere so I went into the trees and that was a little better but I could still hear them, and I know it’s fucking stupid but some stuff happened to me a few years back and now every time I hear them…” Steve trails off, snaps his mouth shut. Runs his hand rhythmically down Frodo’s back, almost meditatively now. “Sorry. S’dumb. But…I’m ok now, I think.”

Eddie splays his free hand across Steve’s back. Thinks about how much he’d like to pull Steve to his side, bundle him close, wrap himself around him…but they’ve only just fucking met.

He needs to calm down.

“It isn’t dumb,” Eddie insists gently, “I used to get them too. Panic attacks. I get it, ok? I’m just glad you’re ok now.”

Steve smiles at him, wobbly and weak but there.

“Thanks,” he says softly, “for following Frodo. And for…staying.”

Eddie returns his smile. Reaches for the man’s hand, clasps it, helps him to shaky feet.

Steve doesn’t let go of his hand.

They linger there, under the shade of the red maple trees, neither saying anything for a long moment.

Frodo sits at their feet. Blinks up at them, meows eventually.

Steve picks up Frodo’s lead, one hand still in Eddie’s, fiddles with the red canvas cord.

Eddie’s heart beats faster.

“Do you…wanna come and look around the stalls?” he asks quietly, rubbing the back of his neck with the hand not held securely in Steve’s, thinks he’d be happy if he could never use that hand again, so long as Steve kept a hold of it.

Steve smiles again, bright as the sun, and nods.

Slowly, he follows Eddie out of the clearing and back into the light of the day.

___

[bantersnatch]

THE BIANCA MASTERPOST

Why, hello! Are you interested in throwing yourself down the rabbit hole of lore for Dropout's "Very Important People"? Are you trying to drag a friend into the madness? Welcome! Hopefully this post can help. This all goes a lot deeper than you might expect after a casual viewing of the show, so let's get down to business.

In the past, the Host's stepdaughter, Bianca, was something of a cryptid lurking at the edges of the show's lore. As of season 2, however, she has a face, speaking lines, and an implied crucial role in the meta plot. Us rabid Bianca fans -- and there are indeed a non-zero number of us -- simply never lose. Unless we get a week where Bianca doesn't show up. Which happens often.

PART 1: UNDERSTANDING the CANON.

Let's say you've watched the entirety of VIP. You have questions. Maybe you even have theories of your own. Welcome to the club, friend. Bianca generally pops up in only brief mentions -- amidst the chaos of the show it's sometimes hard to piece together exactly what's going on with her. Luckily, I've written it down for us!

Analyzing everything we know about Bianca (as of s2e3) for a review of the basics, plus some surface-level theorizing.

Analyzing the Host's relationship with Bianca (as of s2e3) for a more character-centered approach to figuring out what's going on here.

Unpacking the s2e6 loredrop.

And of course, the sacred texts: this gifset by the talented @/whichcouldmeanothing capturing their first on-screen interaction.

PART 2: INTO the METAVERSE.

So there's something funky going on here. That's to be expected, because this show is an improvised fever dream and the Host is a certified freak. But is this actually leading up to something...? Signs point to yes.

Asked to describe the relationship between the Host and Bianca in one word, Vic chose "tethered". A normal word to describe coworkers who purportedly hate each other.

Asked for any further information about the two of them, Vic responded... like this.

Okay. Here's where we jump off the deep end. Hold my hand. Vic likes to reuse material, and the "stepdaughter the same age as her stepparent" is an idea that's been around in their work for a while now. Take a look here and here for more on that. Do you see the vision?

It seems like Vic and Talia are very down to go down interesting paths with their improv together, and they're certainly able to conjure up chemistry. Case in point.

PART 3: EXPLORATION via FANWORKS.

That's it. That's the canon, that's the relevant supplemental material from Vic. But this is tumblr, and we all know that's just the beginning of the fun.

The wonderful @/moonpleaser draws Bianca so beautifully and I think about his art of her non-stop. Go look at his stuff!

I would be remiss if I didn't at least mention Star Maker, my fic that attempts to blend our knowledge of the Host's lore with the "Bride Comforting Stepdaughter" sketch. It is my version of a long-form thesis for why this dynamic has the potential to be so compelling.

We use the tag #bianca vip for her here on tumblr.

The AO3 tag for our Bianca is wonderfully vibrant for a character with so minimal screen time, and well worth checking out if you want more!

[theriu]

River Reads Midnight Sun

Well met, traveler! This is the starting post for my experiment, wherein I, who have never read the Twilight books or seen the movies, read Midnight Sun (basically Twilight from Edward's perspective) and commentate for (hopefully) your entertainment! I decided it would be easiest to do this a chapter at a time, and my commentary will essentially be a summary of each chapter so people equally unfamiliar with the story can follow along. You can follow or block this experiment with the tag #river reads midnight sun.

I think that should do it! Let's get started with:

Chapter 1: First Sight

In which Edward finds high schoolers very Boring and Inane, and also nearly goes bonkers over a potential snack.

First things first: Can we talk about how gross pomegranates look? Is the cover art SUPPOSED to resemble an optical illusion between a halved pomegranate and a bleeding heart? Either way, EW.

Right, on to business!

Edward is bored, you guys. He is SO BORED. High school is so boring. Purgatory is mentioned, as well as “tedium” and “monotonous.” He really wants us to know how bored he is, even though the word “boredom” is not used until the sixth paragraph. But trust me, he’s very bored. One begins to wonder why the immortal 100+-year-old vampire is choosing to hang out daily in such a boring place, but I’m sure it will be explained.

Now we learn about his mindreading powers! This is also very boring because most of the minds he has to read are petty high school minds. By the way, the inane sheeple chatter in the school mindscape today is all about the new girl! I wonder who she could be! Ed sure doesn’t care! He can see every angle of her face via peoples’ thoughts, and he is NOT impressed. Half the “sheep-like males” are crushing on her. Edward’s disdain for them is palpable, almost as if it's not totally normal and fine for human teenagers to find new things like a new student exciting. We may be witnessing a smidge of superiority complex, which is shocking, no doubt.

Mind-reading as a way to introduce other relevant characters is handy, I will grant the author that! Of course, Ed tries not to mindread his fellow vampires out of courtesy, but he KNOWS what they are probably thinking, and boy is he ready to tell us!

Rosalie: Is either actually super hot or super thinks she is, and apparently this debate encompasses her every waking moment. She only compares herself to VAMPIRES, of course, because humans could never be comparably hot. Related to a stagnant pool. Wow, Ed.

Emmett: Hyper competitive guy who has no new thoughts because he says EVERYTHING he thinks. Compared to a glass-clear lake. I suppose that means Ed maybe thinks he has depth? Maybe? We'll err on the side of optimism.

Jasper: Suffering. That’s literally the entire description.

Alice (who can see the future) introduces herself by beaming thoughts at Ed asking how Jasper is doing. Jasper is not doing well. Apparently he is so ready to eat people that he has forgotten how to Human and is sitting in a corpse-like rigor, because it seems when you become a vampire you lose quirks like restless leg syndrome and blinking? This feels full of potential hilarity to me, but I fear such hilarity will not be realized in this Very Serious Book.

Anyway, back to Jasper, who is SUFFERING. Alice asks if there is any danger. Edward signals no. Half a page later, his exposition about Jasper's problem adds, “Jasper was very dangerous right now." Okay, so which is it?! PICK A LANE, ED

(On a genuine note, I already like Alice; she counters Jasper’s fantasies about eating a girl by telling him her name and a few personal facts in a way that shows Alice makes an effort to know her classmates as more than just The Humans. Yay empathy!)

Btw, Ed’s internal monologue indicates they’re hanging out at this school to build their strength and endurance by being around humans and not eating them, and to that I say REALLY??? You chose high school for that?! The one where you’re SUPER BORED?? GO HANG OUT AT A COFFEE SHOP OR SOMETHING

Ope, plot progression! Bella has entered the chat lunchroom. Literally everyone is thinking about Bella, including Jessica, no doubt the requisite catty high school rival who crushed on Edward previously. She has many disgruntled thoughts about Bella, Bella noticing the Cullens, everyone noticing Bella, etc. Ed, who has been doing a great job keeping us up to date on the general thought processes of the student body, takes this moment to assure us once again how much he finds all of this chatter inane AND petty AND trivial, and he’s definitely going to try harder to block them out (again).

Wait, oh my word, was that a line of HUMOROUS BANTER between the Cullens just now?! I have renewed hope for this Very Serious Book!

So Edward is the vampires' mental scout who checks for people suspecting he and his family are inhumanly weird (as opposed to acceptably weird), and naturally he does a brain scan on Bella. Oooo but he’s not hearing anything! And now they have locked eyes! Her eyes are very odd, because of the DEPTH of them! Already, Bella is very Frail and immune to mindreading and somehow has “deeper” eyes than I guess any other human Edward has met in his 100+ years? Ed, I think you need to make eye contact more.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled torrent of inane high schooler thoughts! Amazingly, they are all still focused on Bella and being attracted to or jealous of her, because of course real high schoolers are all Inane and Tedious. (The one exception is Angela, who is busy thinking about homework. I like her, she seems normal.) Jessica is being catty again, and what’s this?! Ed suddenly has this STRANGE URGE to SHIELD Bella from this nasty girl! How very odd and unusual! Especially from a guy who very clearly finds all human teenagers Inane/Petty/Trivial! Bella must be special, except she is also “very unexceptional." Also, Ed is highly frustrated that he can’t read this girl’s mind, despite him constantly reading her like a book and her having “deceptively communicative” eyes.

Rosalie breaks Ed out of his frustration-driven contradictory spiral, and they all go to class, Ed casually mentioning his two medical degrees in an internal dig at his biology teacher (again, why are you hanging out at high school???) Naturally, Bella shows up and the only seat available is the one next to Edward, because Plot everyone is subliminally terrified of him. Ed has a moment of panic wondering if not hearing one girl’s thoughts means he has a vampire disease and is gonna lose all his mindreading, and then he has another moment of empathy for Bella having to sit next to the Scary Vampire.

Then she walks in front of an air duct, and Edward is suddenly overcome with INTENSE BLOODLUST THE LIKES OF WHICH HE HAS NEVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE!!! He wants to eat her SO BAD, you guys! He spends roughly EIGHT PAGES brooding on how badly he wants to eat her, noticing how delicious she smells, crushing the underside of a desk with his intense self-control grip (but having the presence of mind to “destroy the evidence” by rounding out the finger-shaped hole he just made), analyzing the logistics of eliminating a roomful of witnesses and whether to do so before or after eating her, seeing his monstrous reflection in her eyeballs, angsting over how bad he will feel when he murders a bunch of people, plotting ways of murdering her that WON’T result in collateral damage, questioning Bella’s sanity for daring to SHAKE HER HAIR IN HIS VICINITY, angsting about how disappointed his wonderful adoptive dad Carlisle will be (aww, that’s actually sweet), stubbornly deciding “she can’t make me,” hating Bella with the fury of a thousand suns for daring to smell so delicious, and shutting off his breathing so he has at least some self-control, which does sound uncomfortable but I applaud the effort.

Then class finally ends (for him and for us), and he goes and hides in his car. Which, honestly, relatable.

The car timeout helps restore his sanity, and he determines he does in fact not need to kill her and that hating her guts for smelling like an eight-course dinner probably isn’t fair! He just needs to avoid her as much as possible. Bless your heart for your optimism, Male Lead of a Paranormal Romance Novel.

The solution he comes up with is to charm the poor secretary (who keeps having to remind herself mentally that he’s too young for her, which, augh) into switching him to a different sixth-period course. Bella chooses this opportune moment to walk in, which he doesn’t notice until her DELICIOUS SMELL is blown over him (I question why someone with such advanced senses can only notice powerful smells when he is downwind of them). Edward’s Amazing Vampire Vision kicks in, allowing him to once again see his Monstrous Face in the reflection of her eyes, despite her being over against the wall. He briefly contemplates double homicide, then . . . uh . . . gives up on changing classes so he can walk away. This doesn’t feel like a long-term solution, Ed, but Kudos for the self-control.

The chapter wraps up with him jumping into his car (it’s the end of the day, so the others are waiting for him) and breaking the speed limit out of the parking lot. Alice uses Future Sight (it’s super effective!) to see that Ed is either going to book it out of Forks (the town) or go and murder Bella in her house. I once again have reason to like Alice, who orders him not to do it, adding that it would metaphorically kill Bella’s dad. He drops them off and races away again, not yet sure if he’s going to tell Dad Carlisle that he’s leaving or going to go eat the delicious new girl. And Scene!

Well, that wasn’t as painful as I feared, so huzzah! I kind of appreciate the internal look at his thoughts and how his mindreading lets us see other characters even when they can’t talk. Got a bit long at times, especially with how Inane and Petty and Trivial high schoolers are to Edward! LOTS OF DETAIL about how badly he wanted to eat Bella and possibly murder all bystanders, which I guess does go to show how bad the bloodlust is, because dang! (But why do none of the others have this reaction to her yet? Maybe they just don’t have classes with her. You must be this close to the Bella to ride the maniac vampire train!)

And with that, I have earned a much-deserved break before delving into CHAPTER TWO: OPEN BOOK! I’m sure Edward will totally succeed in his plan to skedaddle out of Forks and never see Bella again! Stay positive, Ed! =Dd

Chapter 2->

[weirdestcornelius]

TL;DR It's not too late to turn things around. Keep pushing on until something happens, and if not, it's going to be #sparkleover.

With her current behavior, Eve will near-certainly attract unwanted attention. That's probably obvious by this point, of course.

But on top of trolls and haters, there are several online communities entirely dedicated to mockery and harassment. That's where the true problem comes in.

Kittycorn quite literally has every single possible thing they'd want from a target. Immaturity? Check. Hubris? Check. Outbursts? Check. Relevance? Check. If changes aren't made in time, I don't think ANYBODY would like what'd happen. Fortunately, however...

They have yet to find her. Or, if nothing else, they indeed know about her but simply don't care enough to do anything. Yet.

There is still time. Judging by how Kneeby APPARENTLY doesn't have the sparklecriticism blog blocked yet (along with there not actually being that many barriers for us anyways), we can still get words in. I'm unsure if people would wanna hear the truth, but they likely need to by this point. After all, I may currently dislike Eve as a person, but I don't want her or Sparklecare to crash and burn.

So, cue Plan Z.

Step 1 - Tone: TL;DR Be more approachable. This might not seem like a great idea to you guys at first, and I think this step might get flamed the most, but we should lay off the bitterness that comes with every post. There is a reason we're thought of as disguised hate blogs. We might have some right to be angry, but by doing so, our message will come off as hateful yap, impeding our goal. Instead, approachability will be part of our key. Obviously, criticism is still going to be imperative, and we certainly shouldn't forget about that part, but know that aggression will not help.

Step 2 - Action: TL;DR 3, 2, 1, GO! Once we master courtesy, we can progress to Step 2. The deal's simple; just keep posting like y'all usually do with a revised tone. With that, we'd (hopefully) be genuinely listened to, and then we'd (hopefully) see more progress until something becomes of our efforts.

Step 3 - Increment: TL;DR Step 2 but BETTER!!! This basically just takes Step 2 and ups the ante a bit. Post more often, make the posts longer, et cetera. Maybe even hop on over to the main sparklecare tag if y'all particularly need to. Whatever would further improve our reach.

Step 4 - ???: TL;DR idk I'm not sure about what we might do if Step 3 fails, or if being concerned about that is even reasonable. For all we know, we could just give up, or maybe something never before thought of could suffice. I don't know, man.

I'm still kind of brainstorming, and this plan really isn't polished that much in the slightest, so I'd like to be told what y'all think for now along with any possible ideas (step 4, revisions, literally just giving up, etc). I get that composing a whole fucking campaign over fictional gay furries is probably an act of blatant, unfiltered stupidity on my part, but that's what happens when you have a hyperfixation you never asked for.

If all goes according to plan, we'll get a better Kittycorn, and we'll get a better Sparklecare. Hopefully we don't get a full civil war instead or anything. Hell, I really do hope there's some far simpler thing that can be done rather than hosting a full campaign, because I'm very doubtful regarding both myself and this plan.

Signed, Chuck.

Four step plan time

[goldmanguyperson]

intro post for NERDS!

Please don’t send me donation asks. They won’t get posted here. I’m really sorry, but I want you to know that your time is better spent with someone else.

(post features potentially triggering and general uncomfortable content under the manifesto section)

I might sometimes post musings about sexual ideas and i will be horny on main sometimes, but i will always tag it properly. Under the tag “nsft”. i also have exclusive tag “#gold goes crazy on main” that you can blacklist if you dont wanna blacklist the more general tags for your own reasons. i also have an NSFW Tumblr account under the name veganvore (i just think the name is funny, sorry vegan vorers). i will block accounts that do not state that they are an adult over there, which reminder, will also prevent me from seeing your stuff. ALSO THERE IS NSFW IN MY LIKES, and it might not be tagged well or use the same system I do

I try to tag for commonly triggering content but i sometimes forget for stuff like bugs because i simply dont find them scary or upsetting. if you really cant handle seeing a bug at any capacity then my blog probably isnt for you. I tag anything that looks like a bug as a bug, but i tag spiders separately because some people fear them uniquely, and i do not tend to tag for crustaceans such as shrimp or crabs because discomfort around those is less common. I tag very plainly; I do not use cw or tw, I just flat out tag the thing as itself. i also try to tag for all animal death and dead animals, including bugs and fish (which are tagged separately because i know not everyone reacts to dead bugs or fish the same as mammals or birds or reptiles)

I do not tag syscourse as syscourse anymore because I get too many people who I don’t want to speak to when I do. replacement tag is #really stupid shit you dont wanna see

If your dni has an identity that i identify with on there then know i am not not interacting with you out of respect, i am not interacting with you because you are a fucking asswipe. Be a better person. People who believe they know more about me than me, or use trauma as an excuse to be bigoted and stay bigoted, do not have my respect.

Liberal blocker

actual stuff begins here idk why i ramble so much man

im gold just call me gold. Or, my other names include tank and any model/(appropriate. none of the bigoted ones) nickname of tank, plane, or nuclear bomb (aside from fat man or little boy or enola gay for hopefully obvious reasons). i will respond best if it is very clearly directed at me or is one of my favorite vehicles/bombs: tsar bomba, kv-1, molodets, locust, chaffee, whatever whatever

my pronouns are he/him (normal caps), He/Him, and HE/HIM. i stole pronouns from god and HIM from the powerpuff girls

trans and gay full of autism adhd yum

WASHINGTON STATE BEST STATE WEST COAST BEST COAST FUCK CALIFORNIA THOUGH WE GO FAR FAR NORTH PACIFIC 🦅🦅🦅🦅 RAHHHHHHHHH

im a shapeshifter otherkin. I am othervague for all these things (swings between kin, hearted, and link): birds, machines, and ‘pedes (millipedes and centipedes). am werebear; this is not a physical identity, i just much prefer to use the “were” term for it rather than otherkin, as it feels much more correct. But really, i can be anything. i have experienced a whole range of nonhuman stuff, cuz shapeshifter. if i post in a more specific tag know i am not attempting to like… invade, or anything. i do actually be feeling that way

Russia place/countrykin. not a putin supporter or even a nationalist; Слава Україна. more connected to the land and its “memories” than anything else. if this confuses you please read my post: Nationalists do not love their country

i am plural. im fuckitgenic. I reject the entire genic label system. you dont get to know how traumatized or not i am, cuz i dont even fucking know either. I don’t even think it’s that relevant. I am because i am, we are because we are, trying to look back into this life to see why it turned out this way is, in our opinion, just not fucking worth our time.

You probably wont see my headmates here as they struggle to form words for outside use, but you still might.

headmates you might see include:

The Eagle (he is a bald eagle)

The Nothing Beast (a big jet black dromeosaurid-like monster with back spines. actually quite nice. speaks in all caps)

Sputnik-1 (introject of the satellite). Profile is @satellite-one!

Bear (a spirit bear. might come off a bit mean. Bear is often just trying to protect us, but Bear also struggles with friendly or respectful communication)

Alan @amcomputer

if you start complaining about “uehhh but i have to know if youre traumatized to know how valid you are!!!” im going to skewer you like a shrike. we do not take kindly to prescriptive labeling.

i am posic (Perception of Object Sentience, Individuality, and Consciousness). I don’t believe objects speak to me and i dont believe they are externally alive, but i feel like they should be. it happens especially with military vehicles and nuclear missiles. when i look at them i feel a similar sense of life i feel when i look at an animal. is it weird? Oh yeah. It is. i have thought about this a lot and i can expand on it in another post if wanted.

im also objectum and conceptum tbe american flag is my boyfriend im sorry… I hate the government and i hate borders and i understand it would be better for countries to not have influence over material reality and all that shit (i am an anarchist. winning) but countries as a concept beyond reality are really important to me please understand. nationalists hate him (me) actually

carrd (mentions nsfw topics)

neocities (wip)

tags

#shut up! the eagle’s talking! - essays and personal experiences [not in use]

#this is chrome ball radio - My headmate Sputnik’s thoughts and feelings. [not in use—@satellite-one]

#gold goes crazy on main - mentioned above. though not actually just plain horny stuff, more for musings that may be sexual and have to do with me personally and I GUESS I LIED!!! ITS HORNY

#and that eagle? well. hah. It was me - just stuff about eagles. Any kind. i love eagles

#falconer hood experiences - Dreams that i have. theyre crazy. you will want to read

#first past the posting - Primarily posts about voting in the US. i used to try to use it as a general USpol tag but i keep forgetting (as i do with many of my tags) and truly i think the voting part is the stuff i want to collect the most

#galaxies of valleirkro - My spore stuff. Many permutations. Species will be tagged #valleirkro (species name), for example #Valleirkro Zoxun. Characters will be tagged their full name, such as #ikli-kit keletet.

#M.A.D. or Mutually Assured Destruction - Sentient country stuff that got out of hand and now is basically sci fi alternate history about learning to love each other and rise up against the powerful people and ideas keeping us apart. Characters will be tagged #M.A.D. (character name), as they only have a single peopley name. For example, #M.A.D. Maximilian. I do not tag them as the countries they are if I have a name for them, mostly because I don't want confusion when speaking of them in the same breath as the actual country. if you want to know which is which, do not be afraid to ask - i usually try to choose names that are of cultures and languages in the country, but I know not everyone is familiar with other languages, and many names are found across multiple cultures. Curious about what the fuck the ‘canon’ i keep talking about is or why not all characters seem to act in a way you’d expect? read this post.

#gold's Starmen - Characters that can traverse the multiverse. Characters are mostly of the species Arvien; flat-faced bird people (yes made out of a desire to try to get away from the country stuff. i know yes, it did not work. but now i have a whole new world so it's cool). Species get tagged as #Starmen (species), for example #Starmen Arvien. Characters get tagged their full name, for example #Zakul Kuzarus. Sometimes exceptions are made for characters that do not have a "full" name. They instead have their species name after their name, like in #Ihsek Xek.

#0001 or One Past Zero - Sentient machines! Primarily focused on old military vehicles despite the time period it’s set in (i have very obvious interests lol). Group of sapient nukes go boom (because thats the only way i know to start a story i guess) and send the world into a new era with very weird problems like uhhh world war 3. Characters mostly tagged “(name) (vehicle type)” because many do not have more than one name, like in #Yaroslav KV-1.

#black hole stuff and #black hole guys - I like black holes, and characters with black hole symbolism/heads make me go googoo

Tags for animals i like: #bug #water bug #invert #parrots

sometimes i post stuff under the tag “#strano shari”. this is because i made the mistake of thinking about the very scary looking russian state sponsored countryballs comics again. it is called страно шары (can be romanized as strano shari). every single time i post about it my research will go nowhere and you will want to stop me. you cannot stop me. you should probably filter this tag if you dont want nightmares

manifesto (sort of like a dni + its opposite but i actually explain things to ease my anxiety and autism) if you dont wanna read this thats fine but dont be surprised when i say something you dont like lol

Almost anyone is welcome here. But if you believe that you know more than other people do about their own identity then go away. Disgusting shit. Begone

that being said you cannot change your race. racial emotional limbo should only belong to people who are mixed race. You can find ways to participate in another culture without being the race often associated with it. many people would be much happier to show you their culture if you weren’t trying to identify as the race associated with it. Begone

I cant believe this is something that needs to be said anywhere but if you are an apologist for imperialism, capitalism, or authoritarianism, or are otherwise a supporter of any of this shit, fuck you. USSR, Russia, USA, China, Israel, Nazism, whatever i dont care. they all suck and you shouldnt be trying to blanket excuse them. Begone

I am a trans man and i believe in bigotry that is specifically targeted towards us because i live in the real world as a trans man. you guys are just weird. radical feminism is not a solution, as it accepts gender binaries and gender stereotypes as immutable truth, and refuses to see the complex intersections between identities due to saying gender is the only thing that matters socially (like really guys? class is definitely more important). it can only ever be regressive and bigoted for these reasons

go away if you indulge in zoophilic or pedophilic content. hope it’s obvious why. indulging in lusting after real ass living beings who cannot consent is fucking weird as shit. Begone

I do not care what kinks you have as long as you arent (nonconsensually) hurting anyone. yes i mean any of them. Yes even whatever one youre thinking about. i dont care. all i care about is that any that can be safely done irl are practiced safely. Do your RACK and shittt

transage is fine. its not about pedophilia, that is a 4chan smear campaign cuz they thought it was fucking weird. it is about age regression and trauma and that kinda shit, idk, just read up on chronosian identity or something if you want. Also the things we associate with certain ages are more often than not socially constructed and so like idk, fuckin whatever dude. Begone

if you think age regression is bad then you do not know what it is. it is also not pedophilic in nature, it is often about comfort and often is a trauma or anxiety response. Please research and talk to real people before assuming something is bad just cuz it sounds weird. Begone

mspec lesbians are cool. “contradictory” labels are cool. my (real physical person) boyfriend is every letter of the queer alphabet and every person who hates a contradictory label will face our combined wrath. Begone

medicalism die begone. scientists do not know everything and often even science itself goes against “medicalist” beliefs. Minds are actually super crazy and weird and science understands this. If you are happier, or more at peace, and more able to understand and work with yourself because of a label and the support that comes with it then it is a good one.

^ includes “not supporting” endogenic systems by the way. Begone

creating headmates is fine (i think most of my headmates were accidentally created) but tulpa terminology is based upon a pretty heavy series of cultural appropriations of Buddhism (have you ever heard of “chakras are connected to your organs”? yeah. thats not true. thats a western idea that comes from the kinda colonial concept that we can force an eastern religion into the originally western conception of science as almighty truth that everything must tie to to be considered real by anybody, and the western idea of tulpas are mainly from this version of buddhism). Asian religions and cultural practices are already a really big target for western cultural appropriation, maybe we shouldn’t add to that, okay? i mean i wont tell you to go away like i have for the others here. and i actually wont tell you that its absolutely not okay because this is a pretty complex little cranny of reality. but i do ask you to perhaps be a little more conscious of how this stuff all connects

it is okay to be wrong

bangalangadooda

[majorbaby]

Sorry if you answered this before but how do you think the way you do 😅 I read your posts about mash and brain goes brrrrr but I want to learn how to see what you see, or at try

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think what you're asking me is how to think critically. I'm not an expert in this field and i don't have any formal training except for one mandatory philosophy course i took in high school that remains the lowest grade i've ever received lol... so I'm going to speak from personal experience.

To some extent, I'm just like this. I don't really believe much in innate traits, so I would attribute the way I think about things to some combination of lived experience and consumption of secondary sources of information.

In recent years I've become more interested in methodologies of critical analysis and I've done some research into it but not enough to provide an authoritative list of resources*. I do keep a tag called #crit on this blog, where I file some resources that I'm interested in checking out, here's a cheatsheet for critical thinking that's a good starting point (it's not accessible to screen-readers unfortunately but i'm sure you can find some equivalent of this if you google it).

in my crit tag you'll also find micro-examples of people talking about criticism in reference to certain texts that i've found really interesting because they're widely considered to be controversial. i like reading criticism of such texts because if something is very controversial, it means that whoever is providing a fair critique of it needs to set aside certain biases that are pretty common in the mainstream. that said, there's still plenty to be gained from reading also analyses of non-contentious media and it's sometimes really fun to read those pieces - children's media analysis is fascinating.

where it comes to MASH, many of my opinions are informed by my interests in art and structural power, in that order. that's how i approach pretty much all of my media analysis. it's almost second nature at this point. would love to be able to watch a kpop video without wondering about the implications of race and gender but it's hopeless. i've leaned into it by reading a lot about art and structural power, and consuming a lot of art that concerns itself with structural power and learning about the structural powers that either enable or disable the production and consumption of art.

i mention personal interests because i think it helpful to decide what's important to you. it doesn't need to be an 'ism'... unless you're me and the isms just find their way into whatever it is i'm thinking about. identifying an angle you're interested in gives you something to 'look for' - a starting point when you're watching something. the isms work really well in this case because they're pretty much everywhere, but you could look at technical things too - production, writing, acting, etc...

now that i'm 2 years deep into the MASH thing i've read more specifically about things that are relevant to it's narrative. Objectively: medicine, the Korean War, the history and practice of comedy writing, American foreign policy, 1950s class dynamics...

and more subjectively (perhaps): Jewish comedy, trade unionism, gender performance and christian art.

the more you read and the more you think (and hopefully document some of your thoughts) the easier it will become to be a consciously critical consumer. watch out though. *i'm not an expert but beneath the cut there's a non-exhaustive list of some popular writers / thinkers / creators to whom i owe some measure of intellectual debt for their influence on my approaches to thinking about media

bertolt brecht, toni morrison, marshall mcluhan, judith butler, angela davis, ralph waldo emerson, ursula k le guin, arundhati roy, donna haraway, voltairine de cleyre, b.r. ambedkar, sarah schulman, edward said, james baldwin, michel foucault, fran lebowitz, oscar wilde, susan sontag, gayatri chakravorty spivak, noam chomsky, frantz fanon

[dykeyote]

I want to thank you and your account for helping me understand better how to respect bigender people 💙 even if it's hard to say what you really want to without getting into discourse parameters, the things you have said has really helped me a lot with understanding my friend's and community

awww this is so sweet thank you so much!! i really appreciate that, im glad its helpful to you (: yeah its tricky because its hard to phrase things that will make sense without using discourse buzzwords like i kind of fell into doing a little in that post which i think muddled my messaging but genuinely like . i hope you dont mind me taking this opportunity to talk a little bit, hopefully its also illuminating for how to engage with people haha? but i think restructuring your understanding of gender to encompass the fact that some people are men And Something Else (same for women/nonbinary ppl of course but honestly that seems to be way less of a problem? which i have a lot of thoughts on and im writing a poem abt it but my analysis of manhood in queer communities isnt relevant here lol) goes a huge way in being able to like . interact w multigender people in a more nuanced fashion . and like not just Acknowledging that thats a thing that is true but really thinking about what the implications of simply the idea that a man can also be a woman might have on other ways you behave or other beliefs you hold goes a really long way . because so much of our society even (and sometimes especially) in queer communities tends to pit "man" and "woman" as complete opposites of each other that do not overlap - you can even see this in perfectly well intentioned progressive illustrations of the gender spectrum that intend to illustrate the breadth of nonbinary experiences, where they'll still set man and woman as two opposite points of said spectrum that do not overlap . and i genuinely just think like . i think a lot of people Intellectually understand that bigender people and pangender people and genderfluid people and all a manner of other multigender people who can be both men and women, often at the same time, do in fact exist - but they kind of like . dont really take that understanding and reflect it onto other beliefs that they hold and on other understandings of labels and definitions and what have u (tbh i dont think the queer community should Have universal definitions anyway and implementing this would delete like 60% of discourse from the community as a whole and 80% of lesbian discourse specifically but i digress) to see if they contradict and how u might wanna reorganize ur thinking to be more inclusive and whether that thinking is really useful in a real world context anyway . which is why i think ive seen a lot of people in the tags be like yeah okay this is really eye opening im going to consider this which i appreciate (: idk this turned into rambling but i think thats the crux of what i was trying to convey in that post

[galaxy-koi-art]

Town of Salem AU mentioned 👁👁

Ye! I've been working on the lineup for them and also the outline of the fic itself. I've also wanted to give it a better name than "the Historical AU" but no dice on a clever one yet.

It's a ToS1 AU set in 1880s US, though there is still magic and such. It's also a Jailor/Vigilante fic because there was like one scene I wanted to write for them, and then it slowly became the whole AU. As it goes LOL

I keep also bouncing back and forth about how much I want to share/reveal on my blog. I don't want to spoil too much so that people won't want to read it, but I also really want to talk more about it.

That being said

👁️👄👁️ 🤏🍿🤏

Have some crumbs under the cut (AU spoilers of varying degree)

Thanks for the ask :D

Here's part of the lineup with heights, particularly of the four town that will be the most seen. Most of the story I plan to focus on the Jailor's perspective, but I plan on poking in on the mafia and neutral roles (Witch and SK) occasionally to catch up with them.

Also, for the AU, I've decided to see ToS2 as a prequel rather than a sequel chronologically. This is sort of relevant for the Doctor in particular, who descends from ToS2's Cleric. I started this AU in May, dropped it for a few months, and then came back to it recently to hopefully finish the fic LOL

Vigilante, Veteran, and Doctor are all pretty close-knit socially from the start. The three of them have histories together: Doc and Vet served in the American Civil War together with Vigi's father. So they all sorta knew that while they could kill, Doc refuses to, Vet would do it only in self-defense, and Vig would immediately confess to them in guilt.

Jailor, at the start, is actually more socially aligned with Mayor, Crus, and the Town Investigatives. In fact, he assumes Vigilante as the person who killed the first Town member initially. However, after a rather spicy trial, he gets socially adopted by the trio.

Also, compared to a normal ToS game, the town is very passive. There's a lot of talking and accusing, but not much gets dealt with during the day. Most of the accusing comes from Crus, who in this AU is a priest who has called himself "the Crusader". Especially when the news of a witch starts brewing, he's quick to accuse some others to get it dealt with.

I should also say that this fic won't be for everyone. I do better with my writing when I'm dipping into trauma and heavy topics (read: "The Calamity Named Insomnia", my main ""fic"" on Ao3 {it's about my and friends' OCs}, was, yes, regarding the very real issues that cause and are caused by insomnia). So, religious and war trauma are definitely on there. I'll be sure to tag everything when the fic does come up, of course.

[kangaracha]

I'll just reply here so that my blog doesn't become a thousand reblogs of daybreak 😂 after reading your tags on the other chapter i feel fairly confident that all questions will be answered as it goes on, which is GREAT, i didn't miss anything, amazing, hopefully it actually makes sense. it'll be fine.

i'm excited you think so much of eunchae, i thought when i was writing her that there would be a lot of differing opinions on her and she is definitely Like She Is for a thematic purpose. that being said, this chapter was supposed to be just friends teasing but it is so interesting that she came off in such a specific way that you would doubt her and that when thinking about her motives your mind would skip straight to evil intentions. like i'm gleefully rubbing my hands together waiting for you to see what she does later.

most of the things you mentioned in the tags are things answered in later chapters, the only one i don't think i ever really touch on is what happens if you miss a shift/are fired, simply because it wasn't relevant to these characters and i was determined to cut the fat and keep db to 25 chapters only.

honestly it's a good question, i don't really know the answer and it does kind of expose one of my plot holes later. i'll probably talk about the whole thing more in depth when it's all posted. i'd say more vaguely, it's like for most people, you end up in crippling debt and eventually someone collects on that debt and you're shipped off to a labour camp (three guesses what i based those on) and that's it. illegal to be poor.

i think related to that question too is that i also looked at the great depression, where people would line up outside factories and the like for a chance at a job, and company towns and sort of, the surface of the evolution of economy and labour laws. Stuff like that - how to create a situation where people would never even dream of not turning up to their job.

DAYBREAK; chapter 3

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pairing lee know x reader

summary independant entertainment doesn't make money, everyone knows that - not dancing, not boxing. not without a company's name attached to it and the soul ripped out of it so that it can only sit on the stage bleeding. you knew you never should have agreed to get involved in his studio, that the bills would pile up and the income would run dry, that the government would come knocking telling you to shut up and sit down...but it makes him so happy, to be able to dance. it gives him a reason to stay. you don't know what you'd do without that.

taglist OPEN

previous | masterlist | next

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COMMUNITY NOTICES

SPIRITECH STRIKES REACH TWENTY DAY MARK RUNNING INTERFERENCE ON PHONE SURVEILLANCE IS ACTING AGAINST THE LAW! If you see conversation in lieu, report it! STAND WITH THE PEOPLE DON’T TAKE SPIRITECH JOBS WANTED: Work of any kind. Middle aged man, handy at everything. Call or text. REPORT THE DISCONNECTED Remember: it is illegal not to carry a Level 4 certified communications device, connected to the national network, at all times. Report all suspicions of peoples disconnected from the network to the Department of Security. Room for let in 2br apartment downtown TONIGHT AT THE BASILICA: STAR ENTERTAINMENT debuts new idol group FREEDOM

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Eunchae finds you waiting by the noticeboard at her bus stop, idly scanning the flyers pinned across it and definitely not counting the minutes until you’d both be late for work.

“Don’t tell me you’re reading those adverts,” she says, appearing so suddenly from the crowd with a hand on your shoulder that it makes you jump.

“Only the government notices,” you answer dutifully and allow her to tug you out of the crowd gathered around the bus stop and towards the hospital that sits on the corner just down the street.

"Did you see the work lines this morning?" Eunchae asks as you walk, her arm looped loosely around yours.

The memory of what you’d seen flashes through your mind - crowds of desperate people outside the doors, clamouring to be seen or heard, to be picked from the masses to earn a wage for the day. It was bottom of the barrel work, back-breaking labour and breathing thick smoke from sunup to sundown, the last chance for a meal and a night off the streets for the most desperate - once you left the lines, only the chain gangs were left, the work camps for criminals and debtors that took them out of the city and away from trouble.

"No," you answer, swinging sideways to avoid running into a man that passes right through you as if you aren't there. 

"Don’t you walk past the factories every day?" she says in disbelief. "I heard Antel fired three people yesterday, and there were people camped outside overnight for those jobs."

"I didn't really look," you say honestly, and you don't include the rest of the sentence; it makes no difference anyway.

"Do you just glue your head to the ground while you walk?" Eunchae says. "I swear you never notice anything interesting."

"Is the job crisis interesting?" you question lightly, despite the heavy weight that settles on your chest - you'd only just forked over the money from your last fine, and this topic was straying far too close to-

"Yes," Eunchae's eyes roll towards the sky. "Maybe not to you, but you know I love to stickybeak. It's all that there is in life."

You can see it in her face the moment she realises she's made the mistake you were just stepping warily around, the clench of her jaw and the fade of that joviality that had lit up her eyes. "Except for work," you add quickly, trying to salvage the situation, "and community and the profit of the nation."

The old government line echoes hollow from Eunchae's mouth in return, the thin press of her lips never once curving back into that smile. "Work, community, profit, and gossip," she jokes weakly, and then you both pause as if you'll be given a score on your bullshit immediately - but of course, she'll only find out in a few days if the fine comes.

"You talk so much rubbish," you sigh on a deep breath that is supposed to relieve some tension. "We don't even have gossip to share. What have we got going on that's interesting?"

Eunchae looks at you incredulously, her worries immediately forgotten in the face of her outrage. "Excuse me?" she says. "You have a random guy living on your couch and you're trying to tell me we have nothing to talk about?"

You wince at the reminder. It had become so normal that you'd almost forgotten. "That’s been going on for over a year," you point out. "You haven't gotten anything new since then?"

"A year ago, and he's still here," Eunchae presses. "And you still haven't told me what goes on in that one bedroom apartment."

"Because nothing goes on."

"And I'm telling you again, that is a dismal situation. Only you would pick up the prettiest, loneliest man in the city off the streets and never lay a hand on him."

"And his cats," you add mutely, though you know you're only adding fuel to the fire. 

"And his cats!" Eunchae crows. "Honestly, I would have said 'give me his number' six months ago, but I don't know how you afford the cats."

We don't, you nearly say, but you refrain, still wary from the slip you'd had just moments before. "They’re my cats too," you remind her. "And he’s not random either. He was my friend before he moved in."

"Your friend that you paid to hang out with you," Eunchae says, waving you away. "I guess if you think about it, you were wasting money on him anyway."

"Whatever keeps you alive, right?" you quip back to avoid the ire that rises like a hot iron in your throat.

"I can think of something else you could do with him that'll keep you alive," she says relentlessly.

You shake your head, disgusted, and look up at the squat, rambling building that houses the hospital. "I'm just saying," she insists. "If you’re not going to get rid of the cats, you might as well go all in."

"I’m not getting rid of the cats," you say defensively, deliberately avoiding the conversation she really wants to have.

"Two for one deal, then," she suggests cheekily, and then turns to look at the road as a factory worker limps across between cars, held upright by two other men.

"That's about to be our problem," you sigh without moving to follow them. Your feet are tired, your legs rooted to the ground even though whatever the man is here for is clearly serious, if the factory has let him go. You see so much of it that sometimes it is hard to remember that you still care, over the lure of standing out in the sunshine for two more minutes, away from the unending chaos of that building.

What a horrible thing to say, you think, and you start the slow walk towards the main doors, compromising on a casual amble.

"I hate this place," Eunchae says, throwing the words carelessly to the wind. "I feel like I never leave."

"You could always get a job somewhere else," you suggest mildly. "Go join the factory lines or something. Or Spiritech."

"And get the shit beaten out of me by the picket lines?" she throws back. "Didn't you see that guy that came in yesterday? The Spiritech people aren't playing."

"I forgot about him," you admit. Not that there had been anything to remember, his face so beaten that there were no features left to recognise and his chest caving in on itself. He hadn't been your patient anyway, so you'd been too busy to pay much attention to him, and he was forgettable, just another in a long list of victims of street violence and the strike lines protecting what’s theirs. Striking for better conditions only worked, after all, if no one was willing to fill the positions they’d left vacant by standing out on the street day after day.

"I wish I could forget," Eunchae says. "He's on my ward today."

"I'm surprised he's still alive," you say mildly.

Eunchae shakes her head, her mouth opening and closing again like she doesn't want to talk about it. "There's got to be a better job than the factories," she says instead after a moment.

"You could finally come to the studio and learn how to dance," you suggest mildly, already bracing for the answer.

As expected, Eunchae snorts. "So I can audition for an entertainment company?" she questions. "At least being a slave here, I'm helping people."

Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous. Helping people run up unpayable debts, you go to reply - but that's dangerous too - you sew it to the back of your mouth, down in the shadows of your throat where no one will hear it. 

"You should audition," she continues, ignorant of the cold ice that crackles in your chest, the fear that creeps up your spine. "You'd love that life, wouldn't you? And you’d be able to see all those shows you can’t afford to go to."

"Maybe," you say, pushing the door open instead of answering.

The hospital lobby is quiet compared to the emergency room to the side, only a few scheduled visitors waiting their turns on the old plastic chairs. Helena sits behind the desk, her head buried in a computer screen to avoid the buzzing lights that flicker over her head. Her little radio plays on the shelf beside her, spouting out tinny music that becomes clearer the closer you walk, the end of a drum signalling the finale of a song.

Her head rises as your shadows pass her by, intending to walk straight on through. "Oh!" she says, with a wide-eyed kind of surprise that your presence wouldn't normally attract, one hand reaching out to dim the radio. "Hey! I didn't think you guys would be here yet."

"We saw someone coming in outside," Eunchae replies, pausing like she thinks Helena is being weird too. "Figured they would be paging."

"Page was cancelled," Helena says, and doesn't elaborate past the feeling of doom that pervades the air of the room. "Come here. I need someone to listen to this and tell me I'm not crazy."

Curiousity stops you in your tracks, despite the disregard for what she had been saying just a moment ago. It's not just the cryptic offer she makes that piques your interest - it's the adrenaline in the whites of her eyes, the way her heart nearly hammers through her chest and the jerky motions with which she reaches for her phone. Like she's gotten a fright, or she's excited about something; you can't decide which.

"Listen to this," she says, bringing up an audio recording that shows a timestamp for ten minutes ago. 

As soon as it starts, music from the radio playing directly into the phone's microphone, you have the crawling feeling down your spine that this is trouble, of the kind you cannot afford. 

---

RADIO TRANSCRIPT

JCRS1 LUNCHTIME HITS WITH SEUNGWON AND CHAEMIN

[CHORUS]

Let's runGo anywhere that isn't suffocating, run (Run, run, yeah)Hide all your immaturity, runRunning on the highwayI don't want to choose a destinationIs there a place on earth where I can rest?I just run with both feet aimlessly, keep running

CM - Welcome back! You're listening to Station One, and you just heard Midnight by Kim Hee, followed by-

SW - Followed by 'Run' by HAN, a new one that has been shooting up the charts! Up 97 places today to number 3, and expected to reach number 1 tomorrow.

CM - Yes, the fastest climb of a track on day one in history, it's quite impressive.

SW - We only just acquired the track ourselves! Chaemin, what was your first impression of the song?

CM - I thought it was...interesting. I'm just trying to bring up the name of the company involved-

SW - I believe HAN is an independent artist.

CM - That's very unusual, isn't it?

SW - Yes, it is - here we are. HAN is an independant artist with twenty six credits to his name, including songs such as 'Annihilation' and 'Alibi'. Of his twenty six records-

SW - Fifteen are prohibited content.

CM - Choosing to remain independant comes with those sorts of risks though, doesn't it?

SW - Yes, it does. That's what makes company-owned artists much more reliable sources of music, and the reason that companies are so large in the first place.

CM - I couldn't imagine going through all the cost and stress of getting your song made just to have it prohibited for unsanctioned lyrics.

---

TAGLIST

@kokinu09 @rainfallingfromthesky @keepswingin @rylea08 @puppysmileseungmin

@thatonedemigodfromseoul @bokkiesplace @amyyscorner @dearly-somber @kayleefriedchicken

@realrintaro @estella-novella

[belovedblabber]

Ok time to make my hopefully coherent adjacent post about the whole ‘John made Alecto look like Barbie’ thing. Also this goes out to @opticor and @2impostors​ for the interest in my semi-coherent thoughts on this topic. 

I’ve seen people reading it as like ‘wow John took the soul of the earth and made her look like Barbie what a typical dude thing to do’ and personally I don’t at all vibe with that reading of it so now I am turning some rambly tags I made into a proper post. 

I’m going to start by posting a crappily highlighted passage, as is my wont:

I think one aspect of this that people misconstrue is “I wanted to make you the most beautiful body I could think of.” I think a lot of people are taking this as  beautiful=sexy=John is super gross and wanted to make the earth a sexy hot Barbie body. 

However, I very much read this as John, who loved the earth so much, wanting to make a beautiful vessel for the earth’s soul. I don’t think ‘sexy’ is the right way to interpret this one. There’s a big ol’ gulf between that ‘beautiful’ and the way people seem to be reading it as ‘sexy.’ Now is there a lot to unpack and think about in all of this? Yes. Is it ‘John is gross and made Alecto sexy because he’s gross and gave her the classic sexy lady body of Barbie?’ No. 

And also very key here is “Most of what had made me John had gone somewhere else. There were a few little thoughts left...a handful of things that made me me...”

I think it’s really worth keeping in mind here that in this moment John was barely holding onto anything of himself and thus turned to one of the few things he had left to grab at, aka a childhood memory of playing at his grandma’s house. And more specifically of playing with his mom’s old Barbie:

He was eating the soul of the earth and barely holding onto his own identity and personhood and turned to one of the few scraps of himself that remained. His memory of playing with his mom’s old Barbie as a kid was one of the few things he had left in that moment, and that was what his fragmented mind reached out to and grabbed onto as something beautiful. The way he talks about the Hollywood Hair Barbie is also very deeply not in the realm of like, ‘wow Barbie is so sexy and I wanted to make the earth sexy’ sdfghjk. He talks about her “little gold outfit and her long yellow hair.” He thinks she was “the best,” and “got to have all the adventures.” Sorry but this really doesn’t read as ‘ah yes Barbie, the sexiest of women. A doll I lusted over’ asdfghj. 

In a moment of almost completely losing his personhood and identity, John reached out to that memory and that very childlike love for something he’d found beautiful, and that was what his mind held onto. 

John is also very notably defensive about the fact that this was what he chose for Alecto. He seems to view this as something embarrassing. He’s not bragging about making a sexy body, he’s sort of self-consciously trying to explain why his torn to shreds mind grabbed at that form. 

When he made Alecto he wasn’t thinking in any coherent fashion. His broken mind was grabbing at his most basic, simple memories to find something beautiful. He wanted to give her a vessel that could have pretty yellow hair and have all the adventures. 

Also ngl I really don’t see ‘I loved playing with my mom’s old Barbie and having her go on adventures and I loved her pretty hair and her golden outfit’ as a typical dude thing. 

Like there is certainly a lot to think about vis a vis John’s view of himself as creator, and in how he also compares her to a Christmas tree fairy, a Renaissance angel, Adam and Eve, and Galatea. He evokes all of these when describing her, not just Barbie (and he also calls her “Frankenstein’s monster with long yellow hair.”) I think there is a TON to think over and discuss with all of that. (The relevant passage for those comparisons is on pg. 409 of NtN for the record). But yeah, there is a lot to analyze in the things he evokes in describing his act of creation (for one I find it interesting that  not all of them are ‘female,’ so to speak). There’s a lot to think about in terms of how he gave parts of himself to make her ( “I ripped half of my ribs from my body and made you from dirt, my blood, my vomit, my bone.” (pg. 408), and in him choosing to frame himself as creator, and as creator in a distinctly biblical way (the ribs being an obvious call to this). The reference to Galatea is also its own interesting thing. But anyway, John made her body from himself and oh boy is there a lot there but okay this paragraph is threatening to become too long, so I need to leave this topic for now and come back to it later in its own post sdfghj. 

ANYWAY, all of this is to say that I really think interpreting John’s creation of Alecto’s physical form as a ‘typical dude thing, he wanted to make her sexy and picked Barbie, the most basic ideal of womanhood’ is a reading that really misses the mark. 

Annnnd that’s all from me tonight, time to go to bed.

[vagabond-sun]

this is a post addressing some criticism #WolfGetsReal is getting. a good post, i promise. because people have made some good points. i’m not reblogging the post they’re from because there’s enough that i disagree with that i don’t want to just amplify it onto my own followers, but there’s also enough well-reasoned and productive criticism that it deserves a response. like, geuinely, i really want to emphasise that we do give a shit that some people think this was poorly executed (or a bad idea in general) and to enter into a dialogue about that, so we can do it better. tumblr is a fucking godawful platform for any kind of productive communication, but here goes.

cc @a-dragons-journal @spiritus-sonne @shadowfae, come get y’all juice.

the most salient point that i think was made is about how emotionally exhausting this has been for some people. i don’t think it’s selfish to point that out. i disagree with the assertion that this isn’t worth making noise about, but it doesn’t do any of us any good to alienate or exhaust people like yourselves who feel that way. while we’ve been doing our best to meter out our own posts, and formulated the hashtag with blacklistability in mind, we set into motion something that we inherently wouldn’t be able to exert that same level of control over. we tried really, really hard to strike a balance between making people see this as a problem worth taking action over without making it seem like the end of the world. that balance clearly hasn’t been managed well enough, and is definitely something that will be getting even more attention from this point on (and if you have any specific feedback on how we can do that, that would be appreciated).

speaking of which, i’m seeing you saying that this is only being taken as metaphor, and that’s why this isn’t a big deal. that’s why we think it is. in both instances, the movies were panned because they thought the inclusion of nonhumanity was queerphobic. like i said here, yeah, the movie’s bombing, but it’s getting attention from slate and polygon and the washington post - outlets with innumerable eyes on them. innumerable eyes learning about this species dysphoria thing for the first time by journalists they trust telling them that it’s a mockery of ‘real’ issues. and that’s why we saw this as a big enough deal to merit speaking out about it.

that has been communicated poorly. particularly on twitter, the focus we put on the interview with the director was... uneccesary? and has had a clear cause-effect on the message people are taking away and the actions they’re taking as a result. that’s a pretty obvious goof with a pretty obvious lesson. i at the very least thought more people would click through for the full context and nuance of the tumblr post - i thought that was pretty ok (and so did our discord users that we ran it by) but maybe you disagree?

i will admit, the whole grimes thing kind of passed me by - hell, maybe if we had been more aware of it and studied how it went, we would have formulated our approach differently. rani had concrete suggestions here, which i appreciate:

[...] make a point of talking in whatever tags are relevant about our experiences, about real species dysphoria and what it’s like and how we deal with it and why it isn’t whatever demon the movie made out of it, about real nonhumanity, about Otherkin 101, etc. etc.

we did ask people to do some of those things, but again, that part of the message seems to have been lost and/or we didn’t put the appropriate amount of focus on it. so, yeah, noted. while the campaign’s still alive, we can make followups with calls for these more specific and productive actions (indeed, that’s kind of what i was trying to do with the post linking to articles).

this criticism is important to hear because we definitely intend to do more calls for responses to media in the future. we are going to get more bad alterhuman representation, that i’m sure of. hopefully, taking what you’ve said into account, we can do them better. considering all this has left me with two big questions which will hopefully spark more discussion:

something that stood out to me was luteia saying ‘we don’t have any power we can use’ - how do we build that?

how do we strike a balance between motivating people in our own communities to see alterhuman awareness as a real issue without stirring up fear and panic?

genuinely, thank you for your opinions.

[bluewinnerangel]

Hi there! I can to you from twopoppie’s blog! I sent her an ask about someone who’s willing to explain recent Larry theories! Is that someone you?!

Hi! Happy you found me, and of course I’d love to :)

So I'm going to be real honest here, I was working on this loads today. I made a big and I mean BIG draft, like a detailed long collection of shit they pulled and explaining each thing but the further I went the more uncomfortable I got. Like, gathering everything together in one single post. But I definitely want to discuss these things, perhaps I'll divide the things I wrote into seperate posts at some point, but for now I just wanna ask you instead to be more specific which theories to explain? I'd be very happy to go into detail about individual ones, and I might have a lot of shit ready in my drafts because of it now lol.

Anyway, I copied most of it to another draft but left some, have some very loud recent-ish larrying bits:

Feb 28 2020 (Harry’s Falling MV released but also:) Harry did an interview, where he said

“the fish is uh... he’s traveling at the moment, he’s on a gap year, and hopefully he will come back safe. We’re taking a little time apart”

while Louis’ Tour would start only 5 days later.

Same days:

They then geared the larrying in full speed as these dorks were in some kind of out-bluegreening eachother competition. It’s not that I want to be that person that starts screaming everytime they wear something remotely blue-and-green and call it “larry proof”, but, they seem to avoid it like their lives depend on it and then suddenly boom there is blue-and-green 3 days in a row???

Harry papped march 1st - doing interviews march 2nd - and louis’ video that released march 3rd (explained here):

July/September 2020 - during lockdown eleanor posts this one pic of louis to her instagram stories, and puts it in her highlights (it’s still there in the uh dogs folder), this is like one of the very few Louis-with-eleanor moments of the past... years? But then about 2 months later Harry "makes it his" in a way when he takes a picture with a fan wearing the same shirt... And it’s a vintage shirt, and Harry doesn’t wear Umbro (Louis often does). Sooo that’s the same damn shirt. Here a good tag about it.

Dec 12 2020 - this idiot wears a MASSIVE MASSIVE H during his liveshow. We barely see him and the one, the one show he does he shows up like this:

Really could have worn anything, chooses a plain black shirt with a ridiculous H on it. He really must love Hotels. The fact that Harry often goes by H, signs of his tweets with it and all just makes it 10x worse lol.

Jan 4/5 2021 (same day holivia happened) people who bought Harry's merch (that wasn't advertised to have bluegreen hearts on them) started receiving them, once opened it turned out they were literally the most vile bluegreening mess...

Jan 31 2021 - I went into deep detail about the spotify backgrounds but ill just link this here instead, basically Louis put Harry's tattoos on his spotify on during his Walls anniversary and Harry's birthday. He also tweeted a song "Maybe Tomorrow"

considering it was H's birthday the next day and it wasn’t even an answer to the question it looks like he really really just wanted to post that song that day and took whatever thing that came closest to a relevant question to answer this to. To make things worse, the song is about maybe tomorrow finding your way home and includes rainbows.

I don't really know if that answered anything, but I hope that helps. Anyway, my inbox is open :)

[queenshelby]

The Nanny – Part Two

Featuring: Cillian Murphy x Virgin!Reader

Words: 5798

Warning: Smut, Age Gap

Tag List: 

@atomicsoulcollecto  @datewithgianni @mariapaiva13  @avonlady1985 @lauren-raines-x  @hanster1998  @elenavampire21  @nerdy4itall  @peakyboyslover  @atomicsoulcollecto  @lilymurphy03  @deefigs  @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse  @livinginfantaxy

NOTE re Tag List: If you haven't been tagged but have requested to be tagged, please check your settings to ensure that I can actually tag you. I have reviewed all tag list requests and if you do not appear above, I cannot physically tag you because of your settings. Please PM me once you would like me to try again.

A Small Surprise

Another week had passed since your encounter with Cillian at the theatre and you missed interacting with him, especially now that you broke up with Darcy once again.

Once again, Darcy had become verbally abusive towards you and you were devastated and upset about his behaviour. You became to realise that, most probably, he won’t ever change. You often thought about Cillian’s words. You were too young to be wasting your time on someone like this.

But, despite your breakup, Darcy called you at least ten times a day, trying to apologise. You ignored his calls, but, unfortunately for you, you still had to interact with him at theatre practice and art school.

At least, Anita was there for you and tried her best to prevent you and Darcy from having arguments while dealing with each other in a professional capacity. But it wasn’t easy.

Since your latest and hopefully final break up, Anita had also tried to hook you up with her brother, but you really weren’t interested in dating anyone after what you have encountered with Darcy.

Despite your disinterest in dating, you struggled to get one man out of your head and this was Cillian.

Since you became to know what he was doing for a living, you could evermore so understand his reluctance to get involved with someone your age. It would almost be cliché for an actor to date someone half his age. The backlash would almost be ridiculous.

In the same vein, you were really not keen on dating an actor. The ridiculous filming schedules, the gossip and the fact that people would look at you differently would certainly upset you and make you uncomfortable.

Yet, you couldn’t forget about him and the kiss you shared. The kiss he initially returned and which felt so amazingly good.

There was something about him that you hadn’t found in any man before. It was almost like you had known him for years and yet, you barely knew him at all. You felt comfortable in his presence and it felt natural to be around him.

With these thoughts on your mind, it was easy for you to let go of Darcy this time around eve though you knew that you could never have Cillian. Or could you?

It was a Sunday afternoon that Craig came home after spending some time at the pub celebrating a friend’s birthday.

He looked somewhat tipsy when he walked inside and Ella became rather frustrated with him. It was almost too funny to watch.

You noticed him carrying a paper back.

‘Y/N, this is for you’ Craig said as he handed the bag to you.

‘Uhm, thank you’ you said, surprised by his gesture.

‘Oh, don’t thank me. Cillian asked me to give this to you so thank him’ Craig said, unsure about what was in the bag. He believed Cillian’s gesture to be odd but didn’t dare to question it.

You walked into your room, curious about what was in the bag.

Unsurprisingly, it was a book entitled ‘The History of Irish Theatre’.

You and Cillian had talked about this book following your little incident at his house.

He thought that it was very educational for anyone who is interested in Irish literature and play writes and he said that, when he goes back to his house, he would get it for you so that you could read it.

You opened the book, very keen to read it.

To your surprise, Cillian had left you a note inside which, amongst other things, contained his mobile phone number and an offer to help you with rehearsing the play if you needed it and wanted an outsider’s opinion.

He also was kind to tag the pages relevant to your play in the 350 page book.

You took out your phone and saved his number before texting him to say thank you.

He responded almost immediately. His response was short but that is what you would have expected from a man in his 40s.

About an hour later, you received another text message from him.

‘I have four tickets to a play at the Abbey which I think you might like. You could go with some friends from your theatre group and your boyfriend. Unfortunately, it’s for a Sunday night though’ he texted.

You responded by thanking Cillian for the offer and telling Cillian that you had broken up with Darcy before taking the courage to ask him whether he would be interested to come with you to see the play.

An hour after your text, you still hadn’t received a response and you regretted asking him. After what happened between you, you thought that you must have taken it too far.

Another twenty minutes later, as you were in the shower, the phone rang.

You quickly jumped out of the shower and answered your phone while the water was still running in the background.

‘Hi, Cillian’ you said shyly as you shivered, still being wet from the shower.

‘Am I calling you at a bad time?’ Cillian asked, observing the background noise through the phone.

‘No no, not at all’ you said.

‘What’s that noise?’ he asked.

‘Uhm, I was just having a shower’ you said and, just after you said this, you realised how inappropriate your comment was once again. There was an awkward silence on Cillian’s end following your comment.

‘Right’ he said before taking a pause.

‘About Sunday, I have seen the play already with some friends but I am happy to take you if you want’ he said before taking another pause. ‘As a friend that is’ he added, qualifying his offer.

‘Of course, yes’ you said shyly.

‘I think that, if we go together, I should probably invite Craig and Ella and suggest that you come with them’ Cillian suggested, being mindful that, otherwise, this might awkward.

‘Yes, sounds good’ you said.

‘Great, I will let you get back to your shower then’ Cillian said with a laugh.

‘Alright…and thanks’ you said.

‘You are welcome’ Cillian responded before hanging up.

To your surprise, a day later, Cillian told you that Craig and Ella weren’t interested in the play but had no problem with you going to see it with Cillian and some other friends.

You felt somewhat awkward about Craig and Ella knowing that you were going to see a play with their mutual friend. But Cillian assured you that they didn’t think anything of it. In Ireland, everyone was friendly and welcoming and interactions like this weren’t suspicious. In fact, Cillian had even told Craig that he had offered to help you with your theatre project and that he believed that the play you were going to see would really help you with your perspective on contemporary Irish theatre. With Cillian being double your age, Craig simply thought that it was a nice gesture and Craig also knew that Cillian could do with some friendly company after yet another fight with his fiancée.

Instead of Craig and Ella, Cillian ended up inviting his youngest sister Janet and her husband John. They both enjoyed theatre and had recently returned to live in Dublin after spending five years together in London.

You met Cillian and his sister and her husband at the theatre and they were very welcoming. You thought it was going to be strange, meeting Cillian’s family, but it wasn’t at all. His sister was in her late twenties and you could relate to her.

You talked about many things before the play started and she was surprised when she learned that you were only 20 years old. According to her, you appeared very mature for your age.

Change of Mind

‘You know she’s nice, smart and very pretty’ Janet said to Cillian about you after you excused yourself to go to the bathroom right before the play started.

‘And she is 20 years old and I am still in a relationship’ Cillian chuckled in response to her comment.

‘And here you are, choosing to attend this play with her instead of your fiancée’ Janet giggled.

‘Because my fiancée and I are taking a break and Y/N is just a friend’ Cillian chuckled.

‘I think you already made up your mind about your fiancée. I know you brother. I am not blind either. I can see the way you look at Y/N. You like her a lot’ Janet said.

‘Janet, she is 20. Now can we change the topic please’ Cillian said firmly.

‘So what if she is 20?...I like her. She seems nice’ Janet said before her husband John had to comment just like a man would.

‘Just count yourself lucky Cillian. Not every man your age has a shot with a young woman like her. Also, you wouldn’t be the first actor who goes there trust me’ John said, causing Cillian to chuckle.

‘Enough now, please’ Cillian said just as you returned from the bathroom.

When you returned to the table where Cillian, Janet and John were standing, you finally heard the theatre bell. Cillian seemed somewhat relieved that the play was about to start and you made your way inside, taking your seats.

Just as you sat down, you saw Darcy with his parents and brother. Your heart sunk and you hoped that he would not see you. But he did, almost immediately.

The situation had officially become awkward and, just as Darcy saw you, his father spotted you and Cillian as well.

He came over to greet you and Cillian which, instantly, raised a lot of questions.

Cillian explained to Darcy’s father that you were a friend and, just as he did, the bell rang again, telling everyone to take their seat.

This was lucky, preventing Darcy’s father from asking more questions.

Darcy’s father excused himself and, luckily for you, Darcy was at his best behaviour with his parents being around.

During the interval, Darcy greeted you politely and that was it. He didn’t acknowledge Cillian, Janet and John and there weren’t any further interactions from his side.

After the play had finished, Janet suggested that you all go to Cillian’s house for a drink and some pizza. After all, you hadn’t had dinner yet.

You agreed and picked up some Pizza and a couple of bottles of wine on the way.

To your surprise however, Janet excused herself pretty much straight after dinner and a glass of wine.

‘Well, John and I have to get up very early tomorrow’ Janet said.

‘We do?’ John asked.

‘Yes darling, don’t you remember the thing at your work?’ Janet asked, giving John a nudge.

‘The thing at my work?....Oh right, the thing at my work. I forgot’ John said.

‘Well, we will be going, but you two should really finish this bottle of wine’ Janet said and you observed her winking at Cillian.

Cillian sighed before giving his sister a kiss on the cheek and saying goodbye.

‘Uhm that was strange’ you giggled just as Janet and John left. ‘I just finish this and will call a taxi’ you said, pointing to your full glass of wine.

‘Yes, my sister is strange indeed’ Cillian chuckled, knowing exactly what his sister had in mind.

‘So how did you like the book?’ Cillian went on to ask to change the topic.

‘It’s fantastic. In particular the actor’s notes on the scenes. Although, there is one thing no one really talks about and I have been trying hard to find material on it’ you said.

‘And what is that?’ Cillian asked curiously.

‘How do you act a scene where you have to kiss someone. I mean, do you actually kiss them on stage? How about on screen? I mean, you would have the answer to this wouldn’t you?’ you said.

‘I do’ Cillian laughed.

‘Well then please enlighten me. I am curious’ you said.

‘On screen, depending on the angle of the camara, you most often don’t get around kissing. Your lips touch. It’s as simple as that’ Cillian said.

‘But is it different from a normal kiss?’ you asked.

‘Not really’ Cillian said. ‘But, in saying this, for theatre, no one from the audience will be close enough to see what you are doing so just give the guy a peck if you feel too uncomfortable to kiss him’ Cillian laughed, knowing that the play you were doing included a scene just like this.

‘I am glad you can laugh about it’ you said sheepishly.

‘Well, I know for a fact that you’ve kissed a man before so I think you will be fine. Just don’t think about it as a kiss. Think about it as an act. I guarantee you that, when you are in character with a complex script like yours, it will just come naturally’ Cillian said.

‘I suppose you are right. I mean, at least it’s not Darcy who I have to kiss on stage’ you laughed.

‘Well, there you go’ Cillian said just as an awkward silence erupted between you again.

‘Speaking of which, I have actually been thinking about our kiss more often than I should have’ you said shyly.

‘Y/N, we agreed that we would forget about what happened that morning’ Cillian said.

‘We did. But I can’t’ you said before taking a pause. ‘Can you?’ you asked.

‘I’ve been trying’ he chuckled, causing you to smile.

‘Perhaps you should stop trying and kiss me again. Just once more and I will never mention it again’ you said as you walked over towards him.

‘I am twice your age Y/N. You do realise that, right?’ Cillian said as you took his hands suggestively, indicating that you wanted him to stand up.

‘Yes, I do and I like it’ you giggled before biting your lip. Your comment made Cillian raise his eye brows and laugh.

‘You could be with someone your own age Y/N. I am sure you get plenty of offers. So why me?’ he asked as he stood up in front of you, running his hand over your cheek and moving part of your hair away from your face and behind your ear.

‘Because you are intelligent, kind and not afraid to be yourself. I like that. Despite, I also think that you are incredibly attractive’ you whispered shyly.

‘But, if you don’t like me then just tell me and I accept that’ you added after Cillian didn’t respond to your comment.

‘I like you alright. But I know that it would be a very bad idea if were to get involved with each other’ Cillian said quietly.

‘Maybe. Maybe not’ you said and, just like this, Cillian leaned forward and pressed his lips on to yours.

The kiss was gentle and Cillian caressed your face with his warm hands while his soft lips explored yours. Your lips moved in sync with his for a moment until he pulled away slightly.

‘We should not be doing this’ Cillian said and, just after he did, you decided that, this time, he wouldn’t get away that easily and you crashed your lips back onto his.

He accepted the kiss, giving into you for what felt like an eternity until he pulled away again.

‘Are you sure this is what you want? Because there will be implications if…’ he said and, before he could finish his sentence, you interrupted.

‘I know and I am prepared to deal with these implications as they arise’ you said before pressing your lips back onto his. You knew that, most likely, you would have to keep your interactions with Cillian a secret at least for a little while and you knew that, later down the track, this might cause issues with Craig and Ella.

Despite these intrusive thoughts, you managed to switch off and get lost in the moment and kiss between you soon became heated as Cillian gently slipped his tongue in between the opening of your lips.

You gave in and let his tongue dance with yours as if it was the most natural thing to do. He was such a good kisser. Gentle and passionate.

‘Now do you want me to stay for the night or call a taxi?’ you asked as, after at least ten minutes, your lips drifted apart.

‘If you were to stay, what would you be telling Craig and Ella?’ Cillian asked.

‘That I had some drinks after the theatre and ended up staying at a friend’s house’ you said, causing Cillian to laugh.

‘I guess you are staying then’ he said as he ran his hand over your cheek again before giving you another kiss.

‘Alright’ you said shyly. ‘I will go and have a shower then’ you said nervously.

It felt different this time around and you didn’t know how far he wanted to go. You had never had sex before and intimacy didn’t come naturally to you.

After you both had showers, separately, you met in bed just like the last time when you stayed at Cillian’s house.

Just this time, neither of you bothered getting dressed for the occasion.

Bed Time

Cillian was lying there, under the doona, wearing nothing but his black Calvin Klein briefs as you walked into the bedroom.

You, on the other hand, wore even less. A black thong. That was it and you could see the appreciation on Cillian’s face as you walked into the bedroom.

But, in addition to your naked body, your tattoos and piercings, he could also see the nervousness on your face as you climbed into bed next to him.

‘You are beautiful’ he said as you got under the doona.

‘If you say so’ you smiled shyly before giving him a kiss.

It wasn’t long until he gently pulled you closer towards him and began running his masculine hands over your body, including your breasts and all the way down to your naked ass.

His lips never left yours and you enjoyed the warmth of his body pressed against yours. The little amount of his chest hair brushed against your breasts and, as he held you close, you could feel his erection grow beneath his breaths.

You knew he wanted you, all of you and, whilst you wanted to be with him, you weren’t quite ready to take this step yet.

‘Cillian, I am…I never had…’ you said and, before you could finish your sentence Cillian withdraw his hand from you.

‘You are a virgin?’ he asked somewhat surprised, causing you to nod. Whilst you hinted on this previously when you talked with him about Darcy being pushy when it came to your relationship, you never actually told him that you never had sex. It all made more sense to him now and made him dislike how Darcy had treated you even more.

‘I am sorry. I didn’t realise’ Cillian said.

‘Are you disappointed?’ you asked, noticing Cillian’s reluctance to touch you again the same way he was before you told him.

‘Why would I be disappointed?’ he asked, running his hand over your cheek.

‘Not sure. Perhaps you expected something else tonight?’ you said shyly.

‘Well, the truth is that I didn’t expect anything tonight. Not kissing you, not lying next to you or getting to touch your beautiful body. So, I am getting way more than I had bargained for’ Cillian said.

‘You are so kind Cillian. What I meant was that, once you got a woman into bed, you probably didn’t expect this’ you said somewhat embarrassed.

‘At my age, probably not’ Cillian laughed. ‘But, I am not disappointed Y/N. We will just take things slow, move at your pace, alright? Despite, there are so many things other than sex in the conventional way that are enjoyable and I am just happy to lie here with you and kiss you all night’ Cillian said before pressing his lips back on to yours.

‘Things other than sex in the conventional way?’ you asked curiously after your lips drifted apart.

‘Yeah, you know, like other things’ Cillian chuckled. He clearly was out of your comfort zone having to give you a sex ed lesson.

‘Hmm, like what?’ you said cheekily. ‘Can you show me?’ you asked nervously. Whilst you weren’t quite ready to take things all the way, you felt an overwhelming desire for this man and you trusted him and you certainly wanted him to continue to touch you.

Cillian chuckled at your comment but reluctantly agreed. After all, he just promised you to take things slow and what he was about to do didn’t exactly fall into the category of taking things slow.

‘Alright, but you are in charge. Promise me that you will tell me if you want me to stop, ok?’ Cillian said reassuringly.

‘I promise’ you said before he leaned in and gave you another kiss before guiding your back down on to the mattress.

After you lied down comfortably, Cillian kissed you once again before his lips began trailing down your neck, kissing all over it, while his hands wandered over your naked breasts.

In this moment, you felt somewhat vulnerable. You weren’t exactly blessed with a large bust but Cillian seemed to like what he saw as he kissed down your beautiful body, his lips and tongue exploring and enjoying the sweetness of your flesh.

Eventually, his lips found their way to your perky breasts and lingered at a taut, pierced nipple, the tip of his tongue rolling around it, over the tiny bumps on your areola. He drew it into his mouth, eliciting a soft sigh from you as he sucked.

It felt amazing, much unlike what anyone else had ever done to you before and you could feel an unexpected tension build up in between your legs. The moisture within you was building and you trusted Cillian even once his lips began to trail further down your body.

His lips soon found the swell of your belly, and he showered it with soft kisses. His tongue played a moment in your pierced belly button before he continued his downward journey.

Then, suddenly, his lips touched the top of your lace panties causing you to let out a surprisingly loud moan.

No man had ever been this close to your mound before with anything else but their fingers.

With his fingers, he hooked into the ream of your lace panties before sliding them down all the way past your knees and then down over your feet before letting them drop over the bed.

There you were, completely naked, in front of the man you were so desperate for.

With his head moving back in between your legs, you felt vulnerable and excited at the same time.

The scent of your hot sex was now filling his nostrils, making him crave the taste of you.

His lips first touched the inside of your thighs, sending shivers of pleasure down your spine. Again, you couldn’t help it but moan unexpectantly loud at the sensation.

Your reaction made Cillian smile against your thighs and he moved his head slightly inwards.

You could feel his warm breath on your vulva just before his lips touched your naked mound for the first time.

‘Oh god’ you inhaled sharply, making him smile again. He clearly was doing all the right things and took it slow, much slower than he would usually take it.

After kissing your most intimate body part a couple of time, he finally let his tongue lightly trace down the folds of your flesh.

It felt insane and you moaned loudly before you started to squirm when his tongue ran through your folds for the second time.

Cillian soon felt your fingertips caress his hair as he teased you.

He ran his tongue up and down those lips, enjoying the wetness between them.

‘Oh god Cillian’ you moaned just as you gripped his hair tighter as he pushed his tongue inward in between your lips, savouring the sweet taste of you.

By this point you were dripping wet as his tongue went as deep as it could, his face awash with your warm juices.

Then, Cillian pulled back slightly, moving his tongue up and down, side to side, not wanting to leave any part of your sex untouched.

At the top, he found that sensitive nub of flesh, now fully extended. As his tongue flicked against it, he felt you give a little shiver of pleasure. His tongue swirled around and around, and then his lips engulfed it, sucking it gently as you began to moan even louder.

‘Cillian, fuck’ you moaned as you let your body take in the fullest extend of this sensation and closed your eyes.

Just as you closed your eyes, you could feel one of Cillian’s fingers run over your wet slit while his tongue continued to swirl around your clit.

You took in a deep breath but tried to relax as much as possible, thinking about what he might be doing next.

And, just like this, he carefully slipped a finger into you, watching your cues closely for any pain.

‘Oh god, fuck’ you moaned again at the sensation. To your surprise, it felt nice, very nice.

After your body relaxed again Cillian began moving his finger in and out in a slow, steady rhythm as his tongue played a staccato on your pulsing clit.

He loved your taste, your scent, your sounds, he was in his happy place, and your pleasure was his goal.

He kept going, making love to you with his lips and tongue and fingers. Your sounds intensified in volume; the grip on his hair tightened; your hips rose as you squirmed beneath his ministrations.

After several minutes of pure extasy, Cillian carefully inserted a second finger while he gentle sucked on your clit.

You tensed up once again at the intrusion but, following some mild discomfort, were able to relax again. The slight amount of pain quickly turned into pleasure and your breathing was becoming heavier.

You felt full, just by his fingers and they moved in and out of you in the perfect rhythm.

With your moans becoming louder and louder and your walls becoming tighter around his fingers, he could tell that you were close. He pushed his fingers into you deeper, hooking them slightly upward and touching that other magical spot you never knew existed.

Your moans turned into screams of pleasure and your hips bucked as he pushed you over the edge.

Cillian lifted his eyes so he could look up at you and see your head thrown back, eyes closed, and mouth open with your moans and screams of pleasure filling the room.

You were totally lost in the ecstasy of the moment. His tongue was still dancing against your pulsing extended clit.

Your hips bucked one more time, and then you grasped his hair and pulled him away. It was too much, too intense.

He would have kept going for as long as you would let him, but your body had reached the point of pleasure saturation, and you needed to catch your breath.

While you were breathing heavily, coming down from your high slowly, Cillian kissed his way up your body until your lips met, and you shared one long deep kiss.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked as he could see small tears building up in your eyes. You looked completely exhausted and somewhat confused.

‘Yes, it’s just… I think I just had an orgasm’ you laughed.

‘Well, that was the idea’ Cillian chuckled. But you didn’t laugh at his joke. You were entirely overwhelmed.

‘Have you not had one before?’ Cillian asked somewhat surprised by your reaction.

‘What, an orgasm? No…But I read it’s normal for women not to have orgasms’ you said shyly.

‘If that was true then that would be pretty disappointing’ Cillian chuckled as he took you into his arms.

‘How about you get some rest alright?’ Cillian said with a smile as you seemed somewhat besides yourself which he thought was cute.

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep in his arms. You felt so safe and secure next to him.

But for Cillian, it took a little longer. Whilst he promised you to take it slow and was prepared to stick to his promises, deep down inside, he wanted you, all of you.

Good Morning Mr Murphy

The next morning, your alarm went off at 7am. You had to attend art school which was due to start at 9am.

You would have rather stayed in bed with Cillian, but this wasn’t an option.

When the sound of your alarm ripped you out of your dreams and your eyes shot open, you noticed that Cillian wasn’t lying next to you.

As you got up to look for him, you heard the shower running in the bathroom. He was up early and it surprised you.

‘Can I come in?’ you asked as you knocked on the bathroom door.

‘Uhm, yes sure’ Cillian yelled out. He clearly was still in the shower.

‘Good Morning’ you said as you walked inside, not being able to see Cillian through the steam covering the door of the shower.

‘Good Morning… I will be out in a minute’ Cillian said, his voice sounding somewhat hasty.

‘No need, I just come in’ you said.

Without asking permission, you opened the shower door and stepped inside.

Your lips instantly met Cillian’s lips as you stepped closer towards him. But he seemed somewhat uncomfortable with your quick approach.

As you went to press your body against his soapy chest, you could feel something in between you and, just as you did, you looked downwards.

This was the first time you saw Cillian’s most intimate part and it was quite a sight.

‘Sorry’ Cillian said with some embarrassment as his erection pressed against you. He had struggled with it on and off since the previous night.

‘Now I am no expert, but I think that your reaction down there tells me that you like me, a lot’ you giggled as your hand reached for his hard cock.

Cillian moaned at your touch and you slowly began stroking him.

‘Now, I have never done this before so just tell me if I do something wrong alright?’ you said as your hands moved to either side of his hips.

‘Done what?’ Cillian asked and, just as he did, you dropped down to your knees right there in front of him.

‘This’ you said as you took hold of his cock again and guided it towards your mouth.  

You could hear a soft moan come out of Cillian as your tongue touched his shaft for the first time.  

You first licked the side of his shaft tentatively. Your heart was pounding as you did and you continued licking the sides and worked your way to the top of his cock.

Swirling your tongue around the head of Cillian’s cock and then working your way back down the shaft, you felt like you found yourself in another world, one you had never been in before.

Cillian groaned again and you felt his hands on your head as you continued licking his cock and then finally taking him into your mouth as far as you could go.

You didn't have a clue what you were doing, never having done this before, but you started bobbing up and down his shaft.

As Cillian’s moans became louder and steadier, you started bobbing up and down his cock even faster. You could taste his per cum on your tongue and then felt his hands hold on to the hair on your head even tighter.

You were in control but it was almost like he needed to hold on to something, grab something with his hands.

‘Fuck Y/N’ he moaned and you could tell he was getting close.

Before he could say anything else, you looked up at him.

‘I want you to come in my mouth’ you said before taking him back inside your mouth.

He looked surprised but didn’t dare to argue and, after a few more head bobs, he let go.

You could feel his cock begin to throb in your mouth and, just as you did, his hot sweet cum began to flow steadily from his shaft into your mouth.

You stopped bobbing your head as he came down from his high and let go of his cock before looking up at him and opening your mouth.

He could see his cum in your mouth and the disbelieve on his face made you laugh for a second, causing you to spill some but swallowing the rest.

‘Are you sure you never done this before because I never had a woman do this last bit’ Cillian chuckled as he helped you up.

‘No…never’ you said. ‘But, I’ve watched porn before’ you laughed as you wiped your mouth before giving Cillian a kiss.

After your intimate encounter, you both cleaned yourself off and got dressed before Cillian gave you a lift to art school.

Unpleasant Surprise

Your day at art school was good but you couldn’t get Cillian out of your head that day.

You went as far as to cancel your date with Anita that same afternoon so that you could surprise Cillian at his house later.

It was probably for the better you thought as Anita had many questions for you that day after Darcy had told her that he saw you at the theatre with Cillian.

At 4.30pm, after picking up some food and clothes from at home, you made your way to Cillian’s place.

You knocked on the door and, eventually, Cillian opened.

‘What are you doing here Y/N?’ Cillian asked surprised. You came by unannounced and thought that, maybe, it wasn’t a good idea after all. Perhaps he didn’t like surprises.

‘I am sorry, I should have called. I just wanted to surprise you’ you said before asking Cillian whether you could come inside.

‘It’s not a good time Y/N’ Cillian said and, in this moment, you could hear a female voice from inside his apartment.

Through the crack of the door, you could see a blonde woman. She was pretty, probably in her late thirties, wearing a black dress and heels. It was obvious to you that Cillian and her were close.

‘Can I call you later?’ Cillian asked.

‘Right, sure’ you sighed as you handed him the bag with the food and walked off.

As you walked towards the elevator, tears were building up in your eyes and you felt overwhelmingly anxious and upset. Perhaps he wasn’t different than other actors and you were just another quick fling.

You didn’t pick up his calls that day. You’ve been hurt enough by men in the past.

[inkburnt]

No one asked, but as a writer struggling to get their work exposed, I figured I should give a few (hopefully helpful) pointers to other writers struggling with the same. Yes, these are points you’ve likely seen before, but I believe they bear repeating! This is also coming from my personal experience, and it’s definitely been a learn-as-you-go situation for me. I keep finding things out akdjskjhgf. But anyway, these made-for-Tumblr tips are pretty much the ones I find are worth following. Hopefully they can help your work earn a little more attention!

💜  FIRST, TAGGING YOUR POSTS.  It goes without saying that tags are the primary way to search for content site-wide. It’s important to know how to tag your work based on your audience, so you’ll be able to target who you need to, as many people at a time. On any original post, only the first five (5) tags will appear in tracked tags. Tumblr Help says that “Only the first 20 tags on a post will show up in searches,” and that can be helpful—but don’t feel confident with that! Tumblr Search is predictably unreliable and does not show you everything that’s posted! You will always want to aim for those first five if you want the best chance of having your post seen.

Adding to the above: Do a bit of research on which tags you’re planning on using so you’ll have an idea of which are the most active and largely used, specific to your fandom, character(s), ship, etc. Those are the ones you’ll probably want your post to appear in. Don’t just go for the tags that are maybe too big/broad/common, because your post will be buried among dozens of others before anyone’s had a chance to see it. You’ll just have to put in a little effort to see how other creators tag their posts and which tags they use as their first five!

Oh, an addendum: TAGGING YOUR REBLOGS DOES NOTHING. Reblogged posts do not appear in Tumblr’s searched or tracked tags. Please don’t bother re-tagging the posts you reblog from yourself because that’s really just a waste of time for you. ;w; Your first and original post is the only one that will count in terms of being indexed and searchable! So you have to make its tags count when first publishing it to Tumblr!

💜  SECOND, BE CONCISE.  Your summaries, blurbs and whatever additional information you write should not be too long or too convoluted in language (unless it’s your intent to do otherwise). This should actually be direct, clear, and give readers a pretty good idea of what to expect. Provide as much information as is needed, but no more. For summaries or blurbs, name a few of the characters, the setting, and the conflict—but keep the climax and resolution to yourself! Unless, of course, you don’t mind giving out all your work’s selling points. But mystery and surprise can certainly draw attention.

💜  THIRD, GIVE YOUR POSTS GRAPHICS.  It’s unfortunately true that a picture can be worth a thousand words, so it’s a good idea to add either a banner to your posts, or a cover image for a specific fic, series, collection, the like. Images capture attention more easily, more frequently, and to more success in the end. Your writing may not keep the reader’s interest...but at least your image made them curious enough to give it a look! You want those clicks: out of ten failed visits, at least one will result in a like, a reblog, or a follow. So do better your chances by adding relevant graphics to your posts! And always be relevant: you don’t want to use misleading imagery, or you may earn a reputation of dishonesty. 

By relevance, I simply mean to ensure that the image you choose to use matches the theme or content of the work you’re posting, or at least have it represent the characters involved. If it’s something romantic, horrific, or perhaps comes from an anime or video game, just use your better judgment to best convey to potential readers what your post may have to offer them! While it’s no rule, it certainly helps with giving readers a more accurate idea of what to expect from you.

Oh, and: DO NO USE FAN ART OR PHOTOS THAT DON’T BELONG TO YOU. I shouldn’t have to say this. No one likes to see their content being used without consent. Don’t steal from your fellow content creators. If you have your heart set on a particular piece of theirs, please ask for their permission first and state your intentions! And if they happen to say yes, please credit them appropriately in your posts; link back to the work they let you use! Yes, use images in your writing posts, but be careful about how you do it! If you’re not sure or are just uncomfortable, then go to the public domain, or use license-free images, or maybe take your own screenshots from games, TV, anime, even manga. Remember to claim no ownership over the content itself. And always seek permission when the content is coming from someone else.

💜  FOURTH, BE CONSISTENT.  Whether that’s with your tags or graphics or how you engage with an audience, just be consistent; keep a vibe, style, theme, attitude going and keep it familiar so it’s easier for your “brand” to stay in people’s minds. They’ll recognize you easier, they’ll remember what you do, they won’t have to think twice about potentially reblogging from you or telling their friends about you.

💜  FIFTH, NETWORK. Reach out to and support your fellow content creators, writers especially. They will benefit from your engagement as much as you will. Leave a comment, reblog the post, send an ask—interacting with another author and showing them support is not only a great mark of solidarity, but it feels good to do! They need the exposure as much as you do, so don’t be afraid to help them out. If you genuinely like their content, reblog it! If you have the time and the energy, don’t be afraid to mingle with other members of the fandom, or creators who are in the same sort of genre or environment you are. Always be friendly, kind, and humble. Networking gains visitors, readers, a growing audience; and if you happen to make friends as you go, then you will have an audience that will genuinely care about you and the work you do. Networking will benefit others with your presence, as well. If you have an established audience, as small as it may be, those people may gain an interest in your peers’ work, and begin to engage with them. It’s a win-win situation for everyone involved! And if a small group becomes a large group, it will undoubtedly pique the interests of people on the outside. Knowing how to network can go a long way in attracting increasing attention, but it takes dedication. Just do your best with this, and go as far as you can within your social capability.

💜  SIXTH, ASK FOR REBLOGS.  This one’s going to cost you a bit of your pride, but there’s really no shame in asking for people to reblog your work. Sometimes the most direct way is the only effective one. You’re going to have to be ruthless and shameless about promoting yourself out the wazoo while making sure other people are actually seeing this. I of course don’t mean that you should be rude, pushy, or obnoxious when you do this, because that’s only going to turn people away from you; but, you do still have to be a bit persistent about it. Reblog yourself once a day, maybe twice at different hours of the day; and if you own multiple blogs, don’t feel bad at all about reblogging your own content there. Just, you know, use your better judgment when it comes to how often you should actually promote yourself. There’s a fine line between persistence and annoying the heck out of folks.

If you want to go into the tags asking for a little more support (i.e. reblogs, reads, etc.), do that. Politely, kindly, humbly. And not excessively. Look into the tags you post to, to see how far down your last post has been pushed, and calculate when you’ll next post your tagged promo based on that. It sounds a bit complicated, but once you get into a rhythm, it will become a habit. 

Another thing you can do, on the same post where you’ve got some work to upload, is leave a small note either on the top or the bottom (before the body of text) encouraging folks to reblog the work if they like it. It’s not exactly subtle, but it’s not in-your-face, either. I can’t speak for its effectiveness, but it can’t hurt to have a fixed reminder there for a reader to look at one day, and figure, Huh, I should reblog this. There’s always the chance that thought can spread.

[e-the-village-cryptid]

Hey, I was recently put in a tense situation where I realized two people I was previously comfortable talking to about gender and sexuality things with are both queerphobic. I am queer. I identify exclusively as queer. They are my friends and also lgbt, so I'm hoping that if the topic comes up again, I'll be able to more eloquently give insight as to why I use the label queer, the history behind it because in our brief talk it became clear they weren't aware beyond "queer is a reclaimed slur." I'm trying to scrape up some of the essays people have posted around here and some of the resources about the history and how terfs are related to the. the slurring of the word. Do you have a tag that could point me in the right direction? A lot of people have said it better than I know how, I'm just having trouble finding the posts.

Hi anon! That sounds like a very not fun situation to deal with, I hope the conversation goes better the next time it comes up. Searching "queer is not a slur" as a tag using the tumblr search function has gotten me some relevant results, like this post pointing out that "gay" has been used as a slur far more than "queer" has in the past few decades. Other posts in that tag talk about the history of the term and how it was reclaimed decades and decades ago.

But what illustrates even more starkly where the whole "queer is a slur" discourse came from is the "queer is a slur" tag itself. I actively block terfs wherever I see them and yet almost every. single. post in that tag has some sort of blatant terf dogwhistle (using LGB instead of LGBT and/or tagging the post as radfem). The only ones that don't are by people who are exclusionists in other ways. Terfs started and are perpetuating this movement because they don't like that there exists, and has existed for decades, an all-inclusive umbrella term that covers any non-cishetallo person who wants it. You can read it in their own words. If your friends don't subscribe to terf beliefs, hopefully seeing how nearly everyone invested in calling queer a slur is a terf will help change their minds.