#this girl in the bunk above me has the most perfect thighs

[kittykatinabag]

Sometimes I doubt if I'm actually bisexual and only like the feminine aspect of people.

Then I go traveling again and share hostel rooms and see girls in their cute summer pajama sets and fashionable outfits and occasionally walk around in bras and bike shorts and I'm like yes, definitely bi.

[mypoisonedvine]

Hey, J.D. I know I'll miss tonight's aleepover because of prior plans so I wanted to submit this early if that's okay, if not I understand. I had the thought of reader having to share quarters/room with the Stucky boys and the reader has a really vivid sex deeam that causes them to sleep masturbate. Figured you could go wild with all the lovely, filthy ides of how they'd react to being woke up to that.

missions often called for close quarters, it was part of the deal.  you were relatively comfortable with it by now.

at this point you’d shared a tent, room, or bunk with nearly everyone on the team.  even steve, once.  but the idea of being in a cabin-- in a room in a cabin, specifically-- with steve and bucky was a little intimidating.

because, well, you sort of had a crush on them.  both of them.  and it wasn’t as bad with just steve because he was oblivious to it.

but bucky knew.  either he knew, or he was just accidentally perfect at torturing you about it.

no, he had to know.  he gave you too many unambiguous looks to dispute that.  he knew and he was toying with you.

in fact, ‘toying’ is a good way to describe what you were picturing as you fell asleep with them only a few feet away on either side.  bucky playing with your body, exploring you with those damn metal fingers.  using toys on you.  filling you with objects-- some meant for sexual stimulation, some not-- until you begged to have him inside you and nothing else.

but steve definitely wasn’t being left out, no you dreamed that he was watching it all go down, waiting patiently for his turn stroking his cock and encouraging his friend to fuck you harder: “really get her warmed up for me.”

steve heard your heartrate pick up, your breathing shift, and he furrowed his brow.  “do you hear that?” he whispered to bucky across the room.

“of course I do,” bucky answered instantly.

“I think she’s dreaming,” steve announced.

“she’s wet,” bucky sighed, “I can smell it.”

“that’s what that is?” steve gasped.  “smells... delicious.”

“steve,” they heard you mumble, and you’d said his name plenty times before but this was not like any of those times.  this was obviously a moan.

“she’s calling for you, pal,” bucky teased, “aren’t you gonna help her out?”

“she doesn’t know what she’s doing,” steve frowned.

“please, please,” you whined, your body writhing as you mindlessly reached between your legs.  “fuck me, please, bucky.”

“well, I’m not one to leave a lady hanging,” bucky grinned as he hopped out of his bed and slipped into yours.  he shook you awake as he cuddled up behind you, whispering your name.  “you alright, babydoll?”

“huh?” you whimpered groggily, “oh god, bucky...”

“were you having a dream, sweetheart?  you were being a little noisy,” he purred.

“do you really want that?” steve interjected.  “us?”

“I think that much is obvious,” bucky chuckled, kissing your neck as you shuddered.

“but I want her to say it,” steve explained sternly.

“ah-- I want it,” you moaned, gasping when bucky grabbed your face and turned you to kiss him, his tongue swirling against yours while you felt the weight of steve beside you in your bed.

it was already a cramped space, but the three of you in bed was nearly impossible.  not that you minded being pressed tightly against them, sandwiched in between them like the luckiest filling in a very muscular macaron. 

you didn’t even know whose fingers were reaching down to pull your panties aside, who was circling your clit as you moaned against bucky’s lips.  steve kissed your cheek and jaw until he coaxed you into breaking away from bucky to kiss him instead.  he was less aggressive but more precise, taking exactly what he wanted from you while bucky’s touch tickled down your back-- and you definitely knew it was him because you could feel the cold metal along with the flesh.

“you’ve got goosebumps, babydoll,” he noticed with a whisper right beside your ear that made your spine tingle.  “do you like this?”

“yes,” you sighed against steve’s lips.

“so do I,” he admitted as he grabbed your hips and guided you to grind your ass against his hard cock.  you gasped when you felt how thick it was, and choked on your moan when steve rubbed his cock on your hip and suddenly you realized you were going to have to take both of them when you could barely fit one.

“do you guys... how does this work?” you whispered.

“don’t worry about that, we know what we’re doing,” bucky assured.

“you do?”

“we’ve been sharing for the past 100 years or so... I think we can manage,” steve chuckled, making your face burn unbearably hot.  the idea that they’d done this before was hot and jealousy-inducing at the same time.  you really hoped this didn’t mean this was a one-night-only offering, because it was already the most erotic experience of your life.

bucky kissed you again as he turned you onto your back-- but instead of laying on the bed you were on his chest, his lips latched onto the back of your neck while he held you close and spread your legs for steve who hovered above you.  

but steve hadn’t even gotten to your legs yet, he was too busy tearing off your shirt to suck and grope your tits.

“oh fuck,” you moaned, your back trying to arch but failing against bucky’s strength holding you back.

“these are real sensitive, huh?” steve noticed, mumbling around the nipple in his mouth.  “been thinkin’ about doing this to you since I met you... you’ve got great tits, wanted to taste them so bad.”

“yeah, if you like those you’ll love my pussy,” you smirked, making bucky laugh.

“that’s my girl,” he whispered proudly.  “you heard her, get a taste of that cunt, stevie.”

“I’m getting there,” steve assured as he kissed his way down your stomach, navigating around where bucky was holding you, taking a detour to nip at your thighs.

“fuck, steve, please,” you whimpered, squirming a little.  steve grabbed your hips to hold you still and finally dove in between your legs, devouring you voraciously.

you were sure you’d never moaned so loud or so long in all your life.  

you broke your own record a few minutes later when steve suddenly sat up and sunk his cock into you, grabbing onto the headboard above you while bucky whispered filthy praises in your ear and pinched your nipples between his fingers-- keeping one hot and one cold from his different hands.

“yes, yes, yes,” you chanted, “oh god, steve-- right there, I’m gonna come...”

of course he immediately pulled out when you said that.  “not yet you’re not.”

“no, please,” you whimpered, but bucky was already reaching down to slip his cock into you from behind, your body still balancing on top of his as he thrust up into you.

“fuck,” he groaned against your ear, “so fucking wet, all for us, huh?”

“all for you,” you agreed breathlessly.

steve watched and fisted his cock-- slow at first, but you could hear how much of your arousal you’d coated him with as he stroked his length.

bucky slipped his metal hand lower to circle your clit while he pounded into you, and his flesh hand higher to wrap around your throat.

“say you’re mine,” he growled into your ear, “say you belong to us, and maybe I’ll let you come...”

“yours, yours, I belong to you,” you pleaded, “just need to come-- a little more, bucky, please, wanna come on your cock.”

he gave you a few more thrusts before he pulled out with a groan, making you whine childishly.

“I said ‘maybe,’“ bucky reminded you as he nibbled on your earlobe.

“you’re awful,” you mumbled.

“don’t be a brat,” steve warned.  “just take what we give you.  we’ll let you come when we think you’ve earned it.”

“h-how do I earn it?” you asked nervously, losing your train of thought as steve filled you again.

“easy,” he shrugged, “you just have to make us come.  four times.”

“each.” bucky added sharply.

your head spun as you tried to process that not only could they come four times in a row, but that they intended to take pleasure from you until they did.  you weren’t sure if you were praising or cursing the man who invented super soldier serum at that moment (perhaps a bit of both).

“think you’re up for it, sweetheart?” steve cooed, pushing in to you especially deep to emphasize his question.  you nodded, making bucky smile against your neck while steve started to fuck you faster.

“when we do finally let you come, we’re not gonna stop,” bucky warned you.  “we’ll keep going until you can’t take anymore.”

“whatever you want,” you shuddered, “just don’t stop.”

and they certainly didn’t.  as promised, they kept using your body until they’d each come four times-- they took turns with your pussy for quite some time, then filled your mouth, even let you use your hands when you needed a bit of a break although it didn’t last long.

three out of steve’s four ended up inside you, but bucky was a bit more of a ‘jackson pollock’ type, leaving streaks of his seed on your stomach first, then your tits, then all over the outside of your pussy, and finally your face.  he let you lick that one up but the rest had to stay and cool on your body while they began to send you into pleasure over and over, beyond what you thought your body could take.

“one more, babydoll, one more,” bucky encouraged as he showed off one of the features of his metal hand-- vibration.

“can’t,” you whimpered, “I can’t...”

“yes you can,” steve promised, “one more and you can rest.”

‘rest’ didn’t mean ‘stop,’ though, because that was only number eight and you finished the night at fourteen.

it was only possible because they had memorized your body by the second orgasm: they knew exactly how long to let you cool off before staring up again, so you’d be just sensitive enough to come quickly but just recovered enough for it not to hurt.

plus, they kept you craving more by praising you so sweetly for each one.

“that’s our good girl, just like that”

“keep going, babydoll, wanna keep watching you come for us”

“there’s another one, good job sweetheart”

“wow, look at that pretty mess you made”

“love feeling you squeeze my fingers”

“love feeling you squeeze my cock”

“love feeling you come on my tongue”

“can you give us another, honey?  that’s the spirit, just let go and come for us”

“how many was that, buck?  if you can’t remember we might just have to start all over...”

it was so overwhelming that you either didn’t remember when it stopped for certain, or you fell asleep in the middle.  when you woke up, steve was behind you and bucky’s body was limply draped over yours, almost making it difficult to breathe.

you tried to lift either of them off of you but they were just so massive you had no chance.

“bucky?  steve?” you mumbled, hoping to wake them up and escape to get ready for the day.

and they woke up, but quickly you realized you had no chance of escape.

“mornin’ babydoll,” bucky cooed groggily as he kissed your neck again, pulling you closer.  

“let me get up, need to wash all this come off of me,” you frowned, but steve wasn’t having any of that, reaching down between your legs to drench his fingers in the soaking mess of his and your come leaking out of you and coating your inner thighs.

“you can get up when we’re done with you,” steve assured.

“you’re not done yet?” you gasped.

“just ooooone more,” bucky promised with a wink as steve started to push his fingers inside you and curl right against your g-spot instantly.

you should’ve known it wasn’t going to be that easy.  but it was definitely worth it.

[philliamwrites]

Ocean Eyes, Golden Mind

Fandom: All For The Game (Nora Sakavic)

Pairing: Neil/Andrew

Tags: #math nerd neil, #neil with glasses, #no exy

Summary: In which Neil hates his new prescribed glasses until they attract the interest of a certain Andrew Minyard.

Commissioner: Ziegenkind

Notes: Title taken from Billie Eilish’s ‘Ocean Eyes.’

Ocean Eyes, Golden Mind

Dude, it’s just a frat party. Who doesn’t go to frat parties?

     The message flashes Neil’s screen white, its sender none other than his roommate Nicky who is supposed to study for an upcoming test in Public Policy in exactly nineteen hours. That’s what Neil writes him. Nicky’s reply comes instantly.

Those who study tend not to party. You know. Like you.

     Neil leaves him on read. If he wants to party, he’ll lock himself inside his room, two bottles of Jack Daniel’s by his side while watching every existing compilation of cats attacking people on the small screen of his phone. He knows how to have a good time, alright. Not everyone has to set their scale like Nicky: More than once Neil has been the spectator of him coming back to the dormitory completely wasted, but still eager enough to get frozen waffles from the fridge. Being too drunk to put them in the toaster, he usually just climbs up to his top bunk and puts them between his thighs to eat them partially defrosted. It’s this fragile line between genius and stupidity that has Neil doubting if he should fill in a request for changing roommates or just live with the fact that Nicky Hemmick is one special kind of man.

    So instead of spending his night curled into himself, wall against his back and eyes on every stranger distributing awful shots, Neil sits at the Math Tutoring Centre on the west side of the campus and gives group tutoring sessions.

    Math comes to Neil like breathing. Like Bertrand Russel said, not only does Mathematics possess truth, but supreme beauty—a beauty cold and austere, like that of a sculpture. It is sublimely pure, and capable of a stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show. It is poetry—elegant and deep—of logical ideas to create harmony in a written line. Once he tried to explain that to Nicky over microwaved Mac n Cheese with Girls running in the background, clearly overestimating him, because Nicky only stared into space for a few seconds, and replied, “You really need to get laid, man.”

    Reluctant at the beginning, Neil only agreed to join the Tutor Program because his math professor promised to throw in some extra cash. Something about raising the graduate numbers in order to get the board of education off his back. That’s where Neil’s jurisdiction of interest ends, but he has enjoyed it more than expected—the empty hallways, the harsh light of the ceiling lamps, the smell of chalk, the faint echoes of students still lingering in classrooms. There’s this magic about the Palmetto State University at night—a vulnerability that can only live once the sun sets behind the horizon. When else would he find a kid sleeping under a table in the library, or seniors breaking down in tears for exact 10 minutes before continuing their studies as if nothing has happened.

    There’s another reason he’d rather spend his evening on campus, one Nicky doesn’t need to know because then Neil won’t hear the end of it. That reason being 5’0’’ tall chemistry prodigy Andrew Minyard, sitting in the last row of Neil’s math sessions each Friday. He only knows about him thanks to Nicky’s never-ending complaints, but that never really stopped him from throwing a few or more glances in Andrew’s direction. Just curiosity, of course.

    So when he stands in front of the blackboard now, putting away his lesson papers which are full of numbers and equations—the kind that has enough letters to look like sentences—he feels dozens eyes burn holes in the back of his neck, and one pair belongs to Andrew. No one asks why he’s here, but everyone knows he doesn’t need to be.

    In his one year of giving tutoring sessions, Neil has learnt that exactly three types of students exist: Students who are really good, certainly not in need of the extra lessons, but going anyway for some extra ego-buff and unnecessary brain-flexing. The second type is students who are okay, doing their tasks, following the lesson, not really attracting any attention safe for some crude jokes. The last type has Neil questioning his belief in the educational system of the whole state because he doesn’t understand how they are allowed inside the sacred halls of PSU.

    Andrew is a special type on his own—the enigma that keeps Neil awake at two in the morning because he’s desperate to solve it, but without knowing where to start, he’s just running in circles. His fingers itch to solve an equation with multiple variables, to find the solution to a problem and get it off his mind.

    He doubts it will be this easy with Andrew.

    “Before we continue to look at scalar products in R- and C-vector spaces, we’ll consider bilinear and semi-bilinear forms in general, and link them to matrices for their representation to chosen bases.” Neil’s hand flies across the board, leaving letters and parenthesizes that look like bizarre drawings—art in its most complex form. Once he’s finished, he takes a step away, wipes the chalk on his fingers off on his jeans, and turns to his audience. “What happens to this equation with the semi-bilinear form σ?”

    Two hands shoot up immediately. He ignores them; no need to feed their ego, and instead picks a freshman who’s been staring at his phone for the last ten minutes. Making way, Neil moves back to the student’s seats and leans against a desk.

    Is it the farthest place away from the board? It is.

    Is it the closest that will get him to Andrew? Might be so.

    It certainly gives him a good look at what Andrew’s been doing since Neil started—and that is not solving a single task on the paper Neil has handed out at the beginning of the session. Andrew, apparently bored before it even started, has taken out a slip of paper with a sudoku puzzle on it and is solving it against his leg, completely linked out of the instruction.

    Neil tries not to stare too much at Andrew’s bare arms, and instead looks back at the board.

    “Does that look right?” the freshman—Rhys or Rheeze or something like that—asks, turning around.

    Neil narrows his eyes and squints at the board. He can’t make out a single thing, and that’s bad, yes, but his feet betray him, staying rooted where they are instead of reducing the distance until he can distinguish σ from a.

    “Where does the l come from,” he asks. Multiple heads snap in his direction.

    “That’s a j, Josten,” someone says from the other side of the room.

    Neil squints harder. “And the u?”

    “A μ.”

    “No, it’s a v,” a girl next to Neil says, and that’s when the everyone starts shouting about what’s on the board and what isn’t.

    Neil bears it for a solid minute before he surrenders. He pulls a small case from his pocket, opens it. Puts his glasses on.

    The whole room goes silent.

    Neil checks the equation, nods. “Correct. Who’s next?”

    Multiple people stir, one manages to get up, and walks straight into a table leg. Neil questions that ‘straight’, because only then the freshman guy stops staring at Neil and steers his attention to the equation on the blackboard.

    It was a bad idea, and Neil still hates Allison for forcing him to go. She’d dragged him to the doctor last week to get his eyes tested, annoyed by his never-ending questions of ‘What’s written there?’ or ‘Is that a six or an eight?’.

    “They’re my eyes,” Neil had said, arms crossed as he sat in the office and waited for his turn.

    “And it’s me who has to see your ugly squinting face,” Allison had replied.

    Two hours later Neil had finally his prescriptions but that didn’t mean he was free from Allison’s clutches. He would have been fine with some glasses from the dollar store, but she insisted that if he’s going to wear them more than once a day, he should get designer glasses—thin frames and a color that matches his copper hair. She suggested gold. Neil picked black. The look of disappointment on Allison’s face was something that deserved its own painting to commemorate it. But once they’d finally chosen the right pair, she’d given him the very same look most of the students are giving him now—a mix between slight awe and disbelief as if he’s grown a second head. Or owes them all a month’s worth of lunch money.

    “Well,” had Allison said at least, turning away to pack up and go home. “Tigers have their stripes. I have my eyeliner.” She threw him another scrutinizing look over her shoulder. “You have your glasses.” If it was supposed to make him feel better, it didn’t work, and right now he regrets nothing more than allowing Allison to drag him around.

    Neil’s eyes land on Andrew’s sudoku puzzle, now half-hidden under his papers, and he sees now that he isn’t even solving the thing, but simply coloring in the empty squares.

    He takes a second too long and meets Andrew’s eyes staring back at him.

    “Problem, Josten?” Andrew asks with a blank expression, tapping the end of his pen against his monochrome picture of black and white squares.

    Neil wants to see how far he can push until he walks against a brick wall and breaks something. He returns his gaze to the board but feels Andrew’s eyes like a solid touch on the back of his neck.

    After the session, the students hurry outside, still throwing curious glances over their shoulders at Neil and if he could merge with the back of his chair and disappear forever, that would be totally okay. It isn’t until a shadow looms above him that he looks up from his own homework and draws in a careful breath when Andrew towers above him.

    Neil raises an eyebrow. “Problem, Minyard?”

    Andrew’s face gives nothing away, and when he stretches out a hand, Neil doesn’t flinch. His glasses slip off easily, held between Andrew’s thumb and index finger.

    “Nicky told me he’s trying to convince you to join him tomorrow,” Andrew says. Neil needs a second, because that is the most words he’s heard out of Andrew’s mouth.

    “I have no reason to go,” Neil says, his eyes jumping up and down, from the equation that makes his sight blur to Andrew leaning his slender waist against the table.

    “You have one now.” It’s barely neutral enough to not sound like a threat, but Neil stares at Andrew nonetheless, and when he puts Neil’s glasses on, Neil’s heart does a weird stutter. He’s still starring at Andrew when he leaves the room, and no, his eyes don’t stray, they stay on Andrew’s broad back, and if they dip lower it’s because of the light.

    Once he’s alone, Neil takes a deep breath, exhales slowly. Puts his head in his arms and counts to ten in French first, then again in German. His heart still does this weird thing, trying to bruise his ribs from the inside.

    He gets his phone, texts Nicky he’ll go to the frat party tomorrow and puts it away, not interested in his roommate’s reply. There’s still the equation he needs to solve, but for the first time Neil’s heart isn’t really into math, and he is quite alright with it.

[pollenat]

“Nocturnal silence” | cjs.

➛ ITZY’s Lia. 2012!au.

➛ Word count: 1854.

➛ This short follows the events of “Liquid mirrors”.

The worst part about the overcrowded cabin has to be the snoring woman. The very same one that just a few hours ago complained about the lack of fresh brussels sprouts on a ship - the last ark of humanity after the end of the world. Humankind has gone mostly extinct, and she had the guts to be angry at frozen greens. Looking at her through half-closed lids, you’re itching to throw a pillow at the woman. Nothing can stop her from going on, like an old tractor, choking on its own engine every now and then. The very pillow you’re trying to deafen the noises with, does nothing to your sensitive ears. You’re growing more and more irritated with each passing second.

Others seem to not mind. You look down, at the bunk underneath yours, where a mother with her son are sound asleep. The boy has kicked thin blanket off of his body, as if to prove how much space he can take. His mother is lying on the very edge, somehow calm despite her tragic situation. A man, lying above the snoring woman, has earplugs. Lucky asshole.

Your body thrashes around for an hour or so. At least it feels like it. The duvet is in desperate need of changing, but who cares about laundry during the apocalypse? You’re all sticky from sweat, annoyed by incoming headache and ready to commit a murder, which is just a figure of speech, don’t worry. The fact that nobody else is as affected by the snoring? A perfect way to drive you insane.

At some point you can’t take it anymore - the night feels useless. You miss the rays of sunshine, the sign of life, the reason to stay away from the cabin. Tonight, just like many times before, you jump off of bed, barely avoiding the snoring woman’s husband. He has made himself a sleeping station on the ground. You wonder is he really asleep or just way more patient than you. Either way, you don’t plan on staying around a second longer. As soon as the door closes, you’re welcomed by sweet silence. It’s an odd contrast to the loud snoring. Its lack has you almost creeped out.

The floor is cold under your naked feet. To the point where you can’t touch it for longer than a few seconds. Jumping from one foot to another, you look down the dark hallway. Its only source of light are small windows in the cabins’ doors. Circle-shaped rays fall on walls, like headlights, showing you the way across narrow scene.

Nobody will mind you getting lost in the ship’s hallways, right? You’re just another survivor, struggling to find their place aboard the ark. There are no perspectives. Exploring it seems to be the most compelling thing one could busy themselves with. So you travel down the scene, stepping inside the circles of light and looking inside the cabins as you pass. There’s no other soul up. Everybody is sleeping. It’s sort of weird and you wonder whether it’s just a dream you’re stuck in. How come you’re the only one unable to fall asleep?

Humming some tune you faintly remember makes the night feel more bearable. You’re tired of the crowded spaces, of eyes settling on you, even if they’re just traveling. They’re a tiresome phenomenon that does nothing, but fuel your anxiety. The worst part? Aside from the night, there’s nowhere to escape. All-ocean has made sure of that.

Step by step, you move forward, never putting a foot down for longer than two seconds. You’ve already observed that, but now it reminds you of the past. The tiled floor of your balcony during Winter. Dusting used duvets while cursing at temperature. Welcoming the texture of a carpet with relief. Digging your toes into the fluff. It’s weird to miss carpets in the middle of the night, but you do. Their last reminder is the one snoring woman’s husband uses as his mattress, an object completely out of your reach. What interior designer forgot about additional carpets onboard a luxury ship?

In front of you a door opens. Some silhouettes leave their cabin in hurry. Hushed giggles resonate down the hallway. You can neither make out a sense to their conversation nor put faces to dark shapes. But they do sound familiar. The silhouettes disappear behind a corner in the hallway’s other end.

Heart beating fast, your steps speed up. A thought, string of memories, collection of pictures swims in the back of your head. Common sense is the only thing keeping you from describing them. Number 203 is meaningful, though it’s just a number.

You’re just by the door when it opens again.

“Oh!” Jisoo. Jisoo? Jisoo! “You scared me!” She laughs, eyes morphing into crescent moons. But as soon as her voice raises in volume, Jisoo covers her mouth, worried she will wake up other residents.

“I see there are more night owls around the ship?” You motion at where the two silhouettes, you can now safely identify, disappeared.

The girl looks in the same direction. Her eyes stay there for a longer time, while you watch her profile. Perhaps (you won’t admit it), you should be thanking the snoring woman for a chance to see Jisoo at a different time. Her hair is disheveled, but the little mess is a beautiful one. Eyes glossy, lips dry, t-shirt creased. She’s a painting you enjoy watching. Even when her smile disappears as she returns to facing you.

You grow nervous instantly, because the mood shifts and you slightly prefer the easy-going Jisoo to solemn and serious Jisoo. The easy-going one loves joking, which is much better, as it consists mostly of laughing at yourself and your inability to form proper sentences.

“Uh, yes. I don’t know why Ryujin and Yuna left though. They didn’t tell me. Probably to spy on Yeji.” Pause. “Or something...”

“So, are you going to follow them?” Jisoo seems to consider your question.

Then she steers the conversation to your person.

“I don’t know- Why are you up? Came to spy on Yeji too?”

“As if it has ever bothered me what's Yeji doing at night. I have my own problems, mainly, a snoring roommate.”

Jisoo nods her head in understanding, mouth opened to build on the effect. You’re stuck in nocturnal silence, both scared to break it. Frankly, you don’t even have any idea where to go from here. Maybe you should just return to exploring the ship, but then again, it’s not everyday that you catch Jisoo alone.

“I’ve been walking around, you know, exploring.”

Again, she nods.

“So you’re looking for some place to rest?”

“In a way, yes. Do you happen to know any?” She smiles.

“Actually, I do.”

You’re surprised by her boldness. Jisoo lies down on her bed and you’re watching her with an awkward surprise.

“Don’t make it weird, I’m just sharing a bed with you. Okay, perhaps it does sound weird. But we’re just going to sleep, not- do anything weird? Okay, ignore me. I don’t know what I’m talking about.” To be honest, her joke doesn’t make you feel any better about the situation.

After a defeated sigh, you walk over to the bed, eyes never once meeting hers. Jisoo holds the edge of her duvet. She’s patiently waiting until your stiff posture joins her side. Then she slowly follows your lead.

The first thing you register is the smell - Jisoo’s smell. It’s an overwhelming sensations you’re eager to breathe in after many attempts at small doses. Now that you can experience it in its full form, you can safely say it’s bound to become one of your favorite sensations. It causes you excitement, one that you’re embarrassed to show. Maybe she will call you a creep if you don’t stop yourself from smiling? Suddenly worried, you look for other things to focus on. Like the coldness of her skin against your left hand’s knuckles. Frankly, it’s stuck. The bed is meant for one person and you can’t just sprawl across its surface.

A moment of hesitation passes. Then you turn to lie on your side, facing Jisoo.

At first you’re both stuck in shy silence. Jisoo’s looking down, perhaps thinking over something. But you don’t plan on disturbing her. It’s as if you’ve forgotten your tongue - you can’t even feel it. The darkness is all-consuming and you wish to stay hidden in its embrace, so Jisoo never learns of how hard it is for you to say a word, but also look away.

“So.”

Her eyes, so hesitant to meet yours, finally reach them. She’s surprised to find you staring back.

“How bad is it?”

“Bad?”

“Yeah, how bad is lying next to me on a bed?” Dark eyes pull away to avoid you.

Your brain orders you to be smooth. “It’s not bad.” isn’t the type of smooth you had in mind.

“But not good either? Ah, forget I said anything-” Jisoo laughs nervously through clenched teeth. “I’m just nervous. Because I made you come here with me! That’s why I’m nervous.”

“Jisoo,” The silence returns. “you don’t have to be nervous around me. I know, my magnetic personality and good looks are to die for,” She snickers in disbelief at your words. “but I’d rather you felt comfortable around me. Which doesn’t mean our current bed situation- I mean, I don’t mind it.”

There’s a blunt taste on your tongue. As if you have just finished your entry for a spelling bee and were in dire need of some water. Some actually meaning a lot.

“Do you think your roommates will make fun of us?”

“Definitely.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Silence.

“Um-” She dares a look into your eyes before dropping them again. “Let’s go to bed then, hm?”

You don’t think you’ll be able to fall asleep next to her. At least not with the possibility of seeing her face at the cost of merely opening your eyes. Jisoo seems to have the same idea. Her turning around causes a way too powerful sting somewhere in your abdomen. Before you know it, instead of her soft face structure, you’re looking at void-like black of her hair.

Your left hand sticks to your chest, but what about the right one? Keeping it on your thigh feels tiring. Placing it on Jisoo’s side? Too wonderful and too dangerous. Even if you’re itching to offer yourself, you cannot imagine the amount of courage it would demand from you. Instead, you rest it in the hold of your left hand. That way, perhaps, it will be stopped before any unconscious action takes place.

For a moment, you wonder, would she mind? Still, it’s a question you have no answers for. You also have no idea what will happen in the morning. How will the girls react? What will Jisoo do? How will you feel in the morning and will your left hand let go because of that damn itching...

Perhaps, the snoring woman is weaker than your true enemy - your vivid imagination.

“Goodnight Jisoo.”

“Goodnight.”

➛ pollenat’s list of headcanons

➛ pollenat’s list of shorts

➛ pollenat’s list of scenarios

[oyesmendes]

punches and ice baths

a/n: here’s my first 5sos fic!! i’m definitely moving on from just writing shawn fics now, i’ll still write them when i have inspiration but i’m expanding my fic characters okay!! this one’s for ashton irwin and i hope you like it ❤️

warnings: self-harm, mentions of alcohol abuse, self-abuse, boxing as a coping mechanism 

It was still pitch dark in the bus, soft snores echoing through the space and the only source of light coming from the flashlight from her phone. They arrived at the arena a couple of hours ago, the bus coming to a gentle stop in the parking lot that woke her up. She shuffled around in the dark, slipping on a hoodie before sliding out of her bunk and tiptoe-ing to reach the one across from her. She turned the flashlight off to avoid pointing it in the wrong direction and risk waking anyone up before drawing open the curtain of Ashton’s bunk. He shifted in his sleep when he heard the movement, but his eyes remained closed knowing that it was just her peeking through. She smiled softly at her sleeping boyfriend, his curled up posture so he could fit in the tiny bunk, along with a pillow that was covered in her scent between his arms. She pressed a kiss to his forehead, pushing stray curls behind his ears before shutting the curtains again.

“You ready?” Sierra whispered once she turned around. She nodded tiredly, eyes still droopy from the lack of sleep. They exited the bus as quietly as they could, the wave of cool fresh air hitting their faces. She followed Sierra who held the punching mitts and two sets of hand wraps into the arena. It was a totally different scene inside - everyone was buzzing, busy setting up the arena for the boy’s performance tonight. They greeted everyone they passed with a cheery smile, before making their way to the open floor of the arena. Sierra set the stuff on the stage, hauling her small frame up after.

“Paul was saying we could use the stage if we wanted, they managed to set up real quick today so we could use it for more grip for our feet” She nodded in agreement, pulling herself up the stage as well. They fell into their routine pretty quickly, the portable speaker blasting music to hype them up through the warm up.

Thirty minutes into the workout, both Sierra and Y/N were covered in sweat, taking turns to do a set of drills. Y/N hardly mentioned it, but she was always thankful she had Sierra on the trip who would help her workout and train her punches while they were on the road. Sure the rest of the boys did their fair share of workouts in the dressing room, but none of them were ever up for a good spar or drill workout with Y/N (with the exception of Luke, if only he could wake up in the wee hours of the morning). Ashton had always volunteered to join her in the beginning, but he soon realised that doing a full show and waking up before the sun rose to workout was not what his body could take. So Y/N trained on her own for the first month before Sierra came to join them on the tour. She was the perfect workout partner, always pushing them to do more and gain strength that Y/N never knew she had. They spurred each other on, trying new moves and if the space permitted, they indulged in a sparring session on the ground of the arena.

Ashton and the boys could never understand why Y/N would drag herself up to throw punches early in the morning when they first got to know her. They felt that it was dreadful and sad to workout when the world was quiet, but that was her safety. The punches she threw in the quiet of the morning were a replacement for her self harm and abuse, a true testament to the strength that she held within her, both emotionally and physically. The sport made her happy, endorphins coursing through her veins along with the ache in her muscles. It took awhile for Ashton to fully see it. But when he finally did, he always made the effort to be there to capture the moment, even if it was 6AM in the morning. Today was the same, he stood behind the curtains and watched quietly as his girl worked. The sight definitely made his mouth water - she had long lost the hoodie on top of her, only a sweat clad sports bra and a pair of shorts hanging just below her belly button adorning her body. She definitely wasn’t perfect, but she was all he wanted in his eyes.

“Come on, focus! I can’t feel your punches!” Sierra shouted as she raised her mitts again. Y/N punched harder than she ever did in awhile but as she drew her hands back, she lost focus and Sierra’s mitt jabbed her straight in the chin. She winced slightly at the contact, shaking it out and guarding her face again before she heard Ashton shouting her name.

“Y/N! Are you okay?” He rushed to her side but she raised her wrapped hand up, a smile on her face. He nodded and backed away, knowing she needed to focus and be in her element.

“I’m okay, let’s go”

It was another thirty minutes before they were done, stretching and pulling at their bodies to loosen their muscles. Ashton sat and watched the whole time, no doubt a big distraction whenever Y/N did her punches and hooks. He helped to fetch a couple of cold water bottles and towels for the pair, playfully asking for kisses once he delivered them to her.

“You’re the only person who has the most amazing after workout hair y’know?” Sierra commented when Y/N pulled her hair out of the pony tail.

“Okay but you have the most amazing hair all the time so I think all is fair”

“Touché, I’m gonna go shower. See you love birds later!” Sierra grinned at Ashton before she bounded off to the dressing room showers. Ashton approached her with a playful grin on his face, “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” He grabbed her waist to pull her closer to him.

“With a not so pleasant scent though” She wiped the sweat off her body, pressing a kiss on Ashton’s lips. A member of the crew came jogging to the couple, informing Y/N that her ice bath was ready.

“C’mon rockstar, wanna watch me take an ice bath?”

They entered a small backroom with a big black tub filled to the brim with iced water, the sight of it made anyone shudder. Ashton followed closely behind her, leaning against the door frame while she stripped off her shorts to reveal a pair of compression shorts underneath. She entered the tub quickly, lowering her entire body into the ice before dipping her head down for a couple of seconds. Ashton started the two minute timer, watching her as she closed her eyes and breathed out the shiver in her bones. It helped her clear her head, start the week right and was also a huge benefit for her sore muscles.

Y/N was the one that had introduced Ashton to ice baths when he started working on treatment for his alcohol abuse. He was skeptical at first, but when she explained the benefits to him and practically dragged him into the shower to experience it, he finally caved. It started out as ice cold showers, to the extent where Y/N turned off the heaters so Ashton couldn’t cheat. Then they moved to a new apartment with a tub, and Y/N would fill it with ice for Ashton to dip himself into it.

-

“But it’s cold!” He whined when his foot dipped into the tub.

“That’s the point!”

“My dick is gonna freeze in this and we can never have sex again!” She laughed, shaking her head at the boy. He was now standing at least three feet away from the tub, brows furrowed and arms crossed in front of him. She pulled him towards her, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Oh come on, don’t be a pussy. I’ll go in with you, okay?”

“You don’t get to call me a pussy! But fine, okay I’ll go with you.” He pouted, pulling his shirt and shorts off to only leave him in a pair of biker tights. She held his hand as he dipped his entire body into the water, head bopping just above the surface. She slid in between his legs, dipping in quickly. It somehow felt refreshing, and awakening for his body. He was suddenly so aware of every muscle, how his hands were resting on her thighs and how his body shivered ever so slightly. Then he dipped his head in and out of the ice, and he was sold.

-

“Alright, time’s up!” Ashton announced. He handed Y/N a towel and helped her out of the tub. Her tights had ridden up a little, revealing the white lines across her thighs. He had seen them so many times before, but whenever they made their appearance he would always notice them and stare a little longer. He remembered the loud gasp he let out when he first saw them, the fear on evident on her face when she realised what she had unintentionally revealed. She was changing into another pair of shorts while he was in the room and she totally forgot about them. He remembered her story, how she would call them her battle scars. She told him how she never went too deep, but sometimes her demons would be too loud and her hand would slip. Then she told him how she was two years clean, how she used boxing and exercise as her release. He remembered kissing each scar, and hugging her so tight.

“Hey, where are you gorgeous?” She tapped on his nose which made his face scrunch up. He smiled at her soft grin, then pressing a kiss to her lips.  

“Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you.”

[lastbluetardis]

Family of Six (13/14)

After James and Rose bring their newborn twins home, they work to find a balance between all four of their children, and each other. Ten x Rose AU, Soulmates AU.

This chapter: Teen, 6600 words

WARNING: trigger for body image negativity

Ages of the Tyler-McCrimmons at the start of the chapter: James: 39, Rose: 34, Ainsley: 9, Sianin: 6, Twins: 4.5 months

If you like reading my stories, consider leaving me a tip? Or leave a reply on this post to tell me what you thought? And as always, reblogs are very much appreciated so more people can see this.

Next (final!) update: November 21st

AO3 | TSP | FF | Perfectly Matched Series

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9 | Ch10 | Ch11 | Ch12 | Ch13 | Ch14

Thankfully, when James went to work the Monday after his disastrous evening out with his coworkers, it wasn’t awkward or confrontational. Rodney stopped by his office to apologize, claiming that the divorce was giving him a shorter temper than usual, but also to alert James to the fact that his behavior was rude and hurtful. James didn’t particularly think he had been out of line, but he apologized nevertheless and offered his condolences and well-wishes for Rodney as he rebounded from his divorce.

No matter, James more or less kept his head down at the university. He did his job and helped his students, but looked forward to going home to his family at the end of the day. He also enjoyed going on vacations with his family throughout the summer. He and Rose regularly took the girls out for weekend adventures. They stayed fairly close to home, as travelling with the twins was tricky, but they planned a longer trip to the beach, enlisting Jackie and Robert’s help with child management. 

Ainsley and Sianin were thrilled to have their grandparents on vacation with them and often spent a majority of their time playing with them. Since Jackie and Robert looked after Ainsley and Sianin, James and Rose only had to worry about keeping the twins happy.

They’d booked two rooms at a hotel not too far from the beach. Jackie and Robert shared one room while James and Rose bunked with all of their kids in the other room.

For it being the height of summer, they lucked out with the weather. It was hot and sunny, but the cool ocean breeze kept it manageable. James adored playing with his children in the sea. The twins thoroughly reveled in the new experience, shrieking and splashing their fat little legs whenever James and Rose dipped them into the water.

James also appreciated doing absolutely nothing. He loved being able to lay down beside Rose on the shore and simply soak up the sun, content to let Robert and Jackie entertain his eldest children while the babies napped.

“You’re going to have the weirdest tan line,” Rose remarked, jutting her chin towards the baby lying atop him.

“At least I’m going to get tan,” he said, eyeing her t-shirt and shorts.

“My legs are tanning,” she said, smoothing her hands up and down them for emphasis.

“Come on, why don’t you take your shirt off?”

Rose shrugged. “I haven’t exactly worked on my figure since the twins were born.”

James furrowed his brow. “What are you talking about? You look great.”

A small smile tugged at her lips. “Thanks. But you’re a bit biased. I don’t think the rest of the beach wants to see my fat tummy and stretch marks.”

“Fuck everyone else,” he said. “Your body has grown four perfect children. You are beautiful, Rose.”

“My body is amazing and I’m so proud of myself for carrying and giving birth to four humans. And I would do it all again to have our girls. But that doesn’t mean I like what it looks like.”

James frowned. “But… you’re beautiful.”

Rose laughed. “I know you think that. And I love you for it. But I’m having a self-conscious day, so please leave me be about it, yeah?”

He wanted to argue. It killed him that she didn’t like what she looked like. But he also didn’t want to coerce her into something she didn’t want to do. However, dropping the subject made him feel like he was agreeing with her assessment of her body. Sure, she was still carrying around a bit of baby weight, and she had stretch marks around her stomach, thighs, and breasts, but he would never tire of seeing her body, blemishes and all.

“I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the universe,” he said.

“I know. Thanks, love.”

He settled back into his seat. A few minutes later, however, Sianin ran up to him and begged him to play in the water with her.

“Go ahead,” Rose said, holding out an arm for Hannah. “Besides, I need to feed these two.”

She stripped off her shirt and freed a breast from her bikini top. James deposited Hannah into the crook of her arm and stayed long enough to help her get settled to nurse.

“I’m going to do one at a time,” Rose told him as he attempted to help her situate the twins. “It’s easier to stay covered in public if I’m just worrying about one tit.”

James snorted. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“Yep, go have fun,” she said, waving her hand at him.

She smiled to herself as she watched her husband and children frolicking in the sea. She watched James crouch low into the water until Sianin clambered up his torso to stand on his shoulders. She wobbled precariously for a moment when he stood to his full height, but then she regained her balance, bent down, and sprang off of her father and into the water.

Rose was surprised when James let Ainsley do the same thing. Though she was still small for her age, it was getting harder and harder to lift Ainsley up. Rose supposed the buoyancy of the water helped, but when James stood up, he alone supported Ainsley’s weight.

Gracefully, Ainsley leaped off of James and splashed into the water.

Again and again, her children used their father as a diving board to plunge into the water. Rose wished she could record the moment forever of everyone playing lightheartedly in the ocean.

Her attention was brought back to the baby at her breast when the subtle tugging sensation stopped. Hannah had unlatched and was nuzzling her face into the side of Rose’s breast, content to drift back to sleep.

“Let’s get a burp out of you,” Rose cooed, bringing her daughter to her shoulder.

She was aware of a few quickly-averted eyes as her breast was exposed to the beach, but Rose ignored the slight burning of her cheeks and instead positioned Hannah over her breast to rub and pat her back. She was rewarded a few seconds later with a couple of deep burps and a relieved sigh.

“Bet you feel loads better. Your belly is nice and full, and you’re soaking up the sunshine. Where better to nap, eh?”

Before setting her baby back onto the towel by her side, Rose slathered on a bit more sunscreen. The twins’ skin was as fair as their newly-grown hair—which looked like it might come in red, though James was convinced it would be blonde—and as such, she wanted to keep as much of the sun’s rays off of her babies’ delicate skin as she could.

Hannah smiled sleepily at her mother as Rose rubbed sunscreen into her chubby arms and legs, giving her an impromptu massage as she went. Rose pressed a kiss to Hannah’s brow, then placed her on her tummy on the blanket. She next grabbed Maddie, who seemed more interested in playing than eating. Maddie beamed again and again at her mother, squealing with delight as Rose tickled her belly and bounced her in her lap and pretended to eat her fingers and toes.

“It’s lunch time, sweetheart,” Rose finally said. “I know you must be hungry. Mummy’s got your food all ready to go.”

She exposed her other breast for her daughter.

“Don’t you have a cover?”

Rose glanced up and saw her mother standing beside her.

“Nah, she’ll latch on in a minute,” Rose said, then she returned her attention to trying to get Maddie to nurse. Maddie grinned at Rose’s breast and reached out to sink her little fingers into it. Rose winced; the baby needed her nails trimmed. “Yes, thank you for that. But your mouth is on your face, not your hands.”

Maddie pinched and pulled at Rose’s breast, causing a drop of milk to well up. Maddie was delighted to see it, and she gurgled and grinned.

“I love that you’re so amused right now,” Rose told her child, “but I really need you to cooperate with me, sweetheart.”

She took the back of Maddie’s head in her hand and guided her face forward. Maddie writhed and squawked, but after a few seconds, she stopped struggling and decided she was hungry after all. She opened her mouth and leaned forward as Rose guided her nipple into the baby’s searching mouth.

“There we go,” Rose murmured as she felt the letdown of milk and Maddie began nursing in earnest. “See, I told you you were hungry. Mummy knows best, eh? Well, most of the time anyway.”

She caressed her fingers across Maddie’s scalp, then turned her attention to the shadow still looming above her.

“Are you gonna sit?” Rose asked, gesturing to the chair James had recently vacated.

“I was waiting ‘til you got her settled,” Jackie said, eyeing Maddie with what looked like disapproval. “You weren’t in any rush to get her to latch and I didn’t think you wanted the whole beach seeing you with your tits out.”

Rose rolled her eyes and disregarded the comment. Instead, she lounged back in her chair, tilting her face up towards the sun. Her skin radiated heat, and she had to admit it felt nice to feel the sun on her arms and stomach. She exhaled and closed her eyes, trying to ignore the flabby weight of the skin of her stomach. It couldn’t be helped; besides people tended to avert their eyes upon seeing a breastfeeding mother, so people probably weren’t looking closely enough to see the red and silver stripes adorning her abdomen.

The shadow of her mother moved. A second later, she felt a towel being draped across her shoulder and stomach, concealing Maddie beneath the course, heavy sheet. Maddie startled and thrashed, clawing Rose’s chest with her nails and she squirmed and shrieked. Rose bolted upright and flung the towel off of her baby.

“What the hell…?” she snapped, glaring at her mother. “What did you do that for?”

“I thought you could use a cover,” Jackie spluttered, going wide-eyed.

“I told you I don’t have a nursing cover,” Rose spat. “I don’t use one, so neither of the twins is used to having their head covered while they feed!”

As if to prove the point, Maddie began crying in earnest, her face pinched and red. Rose turned her attention to her distraught child and brought her up for kisses and cuddles.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Rose whispered into Maddie’s ear. “I’m so sorry. But you’re okay. Mummy’s here. I’ve got you.”

“Everything all right?”

James crouched down beside Rose and stroked his fingers across Maddie’s back.

“Yes,” Jackie replied tightly.

Rose glared up at her mother. “Yes? Are you bloody kidding me? You just suffocated my child!”

James gaped, staring in confusion between her and her mother.

“I didn’t suffocate her,” Jackie said impatiently. “Don’t be dramatic.”

“It is blazing hot and you just put a towel over her face. How would you like to eat your lunch with a blanket over your head?”

James touched her thigh gently, but his voice was tight as he said, “Let’s all cool down. Jackie, why don’t we go get ice cream for Ainsley and Sianin?”

“I was trying to help,” Jackie said, not moving from her chair. She crossed her arms tightly across her chest. “I was trying to protect your modesty. People were staring.”

“Then let them stare! My babies needed feeding. I’m not flashing the entire bloody beach for the sake of showing off my goddamn tits!”

“We’re used to getting stared at in public when Rose breastfeeds,” James explained, trying to keep his tone even. The fact that he was so calm—or at least sounded calm—set Rose’s teeth on edge, and she wanted to rage at him, too. “Though most of the time, people tend to mind their own business.”

“Does it bother you that I breastfeed my children in public?” Rose demanded to her mother.

“Of course not. I breastfed you when you were a baby. But I did it discreetly.”

“Have you seen how big their heads are?” Rose gestured down to Maddie, who was nursing lazily by now, her prior distress forgotten. “Nobody can see anything. Besides, we’re on a bloody beach; everyone is half-naked.”

“I was trying to help,” Jackie snapped again. “Not only with keeping your chest covered, but I didn’t think you wanted anyone to see…”

Jackie fluttered her hand vaguely at Rose’s stomach. A hollow noise echoed in Rose’s ears and something hard clenched her gut. She was suddenly conscious of the commotion they’d caused; everyone in the vicinity was watching them out of the corner of their eye. Mortification flooded through Rose, and she knew that if she sat there a second longer, she would burst into tears of anger and frustration.

Wordlessly, she stood with Maddie in her arms and stormed away from her mother and husband. Through the ringing in her head, she heard James’s voice hissing at her mother.

As she strode along the beach, Rose was cognizant of the eyes on her. She realized how ridiculous she must look. Her bikini top was half-off and an infant was latched to her breast, not bothered that her mother was walking as she nursed. Rose was also painfully aware of how her legs and stomach and breasts jiggled as she walked.

She wanted to go home. She wanted to be in her home with James and her girls, to be somewhere that nobody could see her. Heat welled through her eyes, but she roughly brushed away her tears and tried to ignore the people she passed.

She finally found a bench to sit on, and positioned Maddie to hide as much of herself as she could.

“Hi there!” A woman about Rose’s age dropped onto the bench beside her. She was a couple months pregnant; her bikini showed off the slight swell of her stomach. Rose’s throat closed as she glanced down to her own belly, saggy and striped and hideous.

“D’you mind if I keep you company ‘til you finish?” the woman asked. “People can be arseholes about a woman nursing in public and I don’t want you getting harassed. People can go fuck themselves, in my opinion.”

“I’d like that,” Rose managed to croak, embarrassed by the tears she could hear in her voice.

But the woman didn’t seem to notice. Or if she did, she said nothing. Instead, she asked, “How old is she? What’s her name? Got any more little ones with you? Gorgeous weather for the beach, eh?”

“Maddie. Er, Madeline,” Rose amended, smoothing her fingertips through the baby’s fine hair. “Nearly five months. She’s a twin. And I’ve got two older girls as well: nine and six.”

“Twins? Oh, me too! You look absolutely amazing.”

Rose snorted, and the woman frowned.

“You do! God, I can only hope I look as good as you after having twins. Especially after popping out two other ones, no less!” The woman stroked her tight belly. “I’m having one of each, a boy and a girl. They’re our first kids, and I’m not sure if I should be scared shitless or thankful I don’t have any other reference to judge by.”

Rose cracked a small smile. “For what it’s worth, my husband and I haven’t found twins to be much harder than a single baby. Sure, it’s twice the nappies and twice the laundry and twice everything else, but honestly, it’s not too bad once you get used to it.”

The woman beamed, though it slipped when she glanced over Rose’s shoulder.

“Oi, keep walkin’ mate,” she snapped, folding her arms across her chest. “Nothing to see here.”

Rose turned her head. Her bones went weak with relief when she spotted James stalking towards them. The harsh expression on his face relaxed into bewilderment as he glanced between the stranger and Rose.

“He’s my husband,” Rose said.

The woman looked at him warily for a minute, then turned her attention to Rose. She lowered her voice until nobody else could hear her. “He looks cross… Do you need me to stay?”

Rose furrowed her brow in confusion before she comprehended what the woman had thought. “Oh! No! No, no, no. No, we just got into a spat with my mum, is all. Probably chewed her out before coming to find me. No, I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

The woman smiled cheerfully then stood up. “It was nice meeting you!”

Rose barely managed, “You too,” before the woman skipped away.

James sank onto the bench beside Rose.

“I am so, so sorry,” he breathed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Rose burrowed her face into his neck. “Are you all right?”

Rose inhaled deeply, smelling sea salt and sunscreen on his skin. “Why did my mum have to make such a fuss? Why here, of all places? Why right then? And why…?” Her voice caught in her throat. “Do I look that bad?”

“No,” James whispered fiercely, hugging her tighter. “No, Rose. No. Believe me, I gave your mother an earful about that. You are the most beautiful person on this beach.” He hesitated for a fraction of a second before he admitted, “Your mum explained what she was trying to do.”

“Oh?”

James nodded. “She knows you’ve been… self-conscious. And she thought you would appreciate covering up a bit. Not that you need to, obviously. But that was all she meant by it, love. Not that I’m agreeing with her. She went about it very poorly, and I told her as much. And she understands how you took it. But… her heart was in the right place, I think.”

Rose sighed. “Why did she feel the need to cover up Maddie when I explicitly said I don’t use a cover to nurse?”

James shrugged. “She was just trying to help.”

Frustration seeped through Rose. “If I wanted help, I’d ask for it.”

“She’s a mum, Rose. How many times have we helped our kids without them asking for it?”

“Why are you defending her so much?” Rose snapped. Then she gritted her teeth and pressed the heel of her hand into her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you further. I’m only trying to explain what your mother told me,” James said, his voice unendingly gentle. “I’m not taking her side. I’ll always be on your side. You know that. But I also want to make sure you know all the facts, too.”

“I know. I just… I don’t like how I look right now,” Rose confessed. “I didn’t realize how much I don’t like how I look. I’ve been so busy with the twins… It’s been almost five months since I gave birth, and I haven’t done anything to try and get my old body back.”

“Your body is right here; there’s nothing to get back. But I know what you mean. I love you no matter how you look. I still find you incredibly attractive, no matter how toned or untoned your body is. Nothing could ever change that opinion. I love you, and I love your body. However, I want you to love your body, too. So if you want to work on strengthening it or toning it or whatever, say the word and I’ll occupy the kids so you can work towards looking like how you want to look.”

Tears leaked from her eyes. “Thank you,” she rasped. “God, I feel so daft and so… shallow. I mean, I knew what pregnancy would do to my body. And I wanted it so badly. I’m so grateful for our babies, and after what we went through trying to conceive them, it feels wrong to complain about anything regarding the twins.”

“You’re allowed to not be okay about everything,” James murmured, his heart breaking for her. “It doesn’t mean you love the twins any less. How long have you been feeling like this?”

Rose let out a watery laugh. “Honestly, today has been the worst it’s ever been. Figures, right? I’ve had moments where I’d catch a glimpse of myself and make a note to start exercising, but it was always a fleeting thought, y’know. I don’t know why it all hit me today like this. I’m sorry.”

“Why on earth are you apologizing?”

She lifted a shoulder. “This is our family vacation. I want everyone to have a nice time. You should be out playing with Ainsley and Sianin, not listening to me whine and moan.”

“You’re right, it is a family vacation,” he said. “And one of my favorite family members is not having a good time at the moment, and if my mere presence can fix that even a little bit, then I am right where I want to be.”

Rose offered him a weary but grateful smile, then rested her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence beside until Maddie finished nursing. After getting the baby burped, Rose stuffed her breast back into her bikini top.

“I promised the girls ice cream,” James said, watching as Rose made silly faces to make Maddie grin. The baby also attempted to mimic the facial expressions, though it often got distorted through a smile. “Do you want to come along?”

She bit her lip. “Mind if I borrow your shirt?”

He stripped off his t-shirt and took Maddie into his arms while Rose donned it. She then linked her arm loosely through his and together they walked to the ice cream shop further up the beach.

There was a stifling layer of tension between Rose and her mother when they returned. Sianin was utterly oblivious to it and too focused on her ice cream to care. Ainsley, however, kept glancing between Rose and Jackie until finally she sidled up to her father and whispered, “Are Mum and Gran okay?”

James wrapped his arm loosely around her waist and stole a lick of her ice cream cone before saying, “They had a tiny little argument. Nothing to worry about, darling.”

“Mum looks sad,” Ainsley said.

Indeed, Rose did look glum from where she sat, absently bouncing Hannah and Maddie’s feet against the sand.

“She’ll be all right,” James said, smiling at his child.

“I’m gonna see if she wants my ice cream,” Ainsley said with a little nod to herself.

James’s throat constricted as Ainsley pushed herself to her feet and plopped down beside her mum. Rose’s smile was genuine as she took a bite of Ainsley’s treat, but let their daughter finish it.

That evening, the family went out for dinner and then took a walk along the beach front. The heat of the day had burnt off, but the sand and water was still warm as they walked along the shallows.

They came across a group of musicians that was playing along the shore, and James pulled Rose into his arms for an impromptu dance. She laughed at him but let him spin her around in the sand.

After a minute, they saw Ainsley and Sianin dancing together, their bodies moving very badly to the beat of the music. But both girls were shrieking with delight, not caring how they looked. James and Rose cut in, dancing with each of their daughters in turn, before somehow managing to come together to concoct a strange four-person dance that was mostly them moving however they wanted to.

“Daddy my legs are tired,” Sianin puffed when they finished dancing. “Can I have a shoulder ride?”

“Sure thing,” he said, crouching down. He helped Sianin clamber onto his back, which was already exhausted from hoisting his children around in the sea that afternoon. When she was seated across his shoulders, Sianin leaned forward and pecked a kiss to his forehead.

“Thank you, Daddy,” she said.

“You are very welcome,” he replied. “Hold on tight.”

She dutifully wound her fingers through his hair and adjusted her balance as he began the walk back to their hotel. Rose watched him out of the corner of her eye. She fell into step beside him and threaded her fingers loosely through his.

“Love you,” she murmured, rubbing her thumb along his.

James was glad when the hotel came into view. He squatted to let Sianin hop off of his shoulders, groaning when his sore muscles were relieved of their burden.

“Can Ainsley and I have a sleepover with Gran and Grandad?” Sianin asked as they entered the hotel lobby.

“That’s up to Gran and Grandad,” Rose answered.

Sianin turned to her grandparents. James, knowing exactly how well Jackie and his dad could say no to her pleading face, was already looking forward to how quiet and empty his and Rose’s room would be that night.

Robert and Jackie both agreed, and Sianin squealed with happiness. Ainsley and Sianin gathered up all of the nighttime necessities they needed, then kissed their mum and dad goodnight before following their grandparents into the room next door.

“So… we have this giant room all to ourselves,” James purred as soon as the door snicked shut.

“Well, not all to ourselves,” Rose said, gesturing to their two slumbering babies.

“We can stuff them in the closet,” James mused, earning him a false glare from his wife before they each cracked a grin.

“What on earth are we to do with ourselves?” Rose asked, tapping her finger against her chin.

“Sit in utter silence then fall asleep in separate beds?”

“While that sounds like loads of fun, I think I might have a better idea,” Rose said, stepping into his personal space. “An idea that involves us being in one bed together without any clothes on.”

He looped his arms around her waist. “I think I like your idea better.”

They moved at the same time, with Rose tilting her head up as James ducked down, until their mouths met in a soft kiss. 

It took a few minutes for them to shed their clothes since neither of them could be bothered to break their kiss. Instead, they fumbled with clasps and buttons and zippers, only parting long enough to haul their shirts over their heads.

James shivered as the length of his naked body came into contact with Rose’s. He backed her towards the bed until they were close enough to clamber onto it. The full moon shone through the open window, casting her skin aglow with silvery light. She was absolutely beautiful.

“I love you,” he said, settling his weight atop her.

Her body shifted automatically, her legs parting until his hips fit into hers. She draped her arms lazily over his shoulders, running her fingertips through the fine hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Let’s hope Ainsley and Sianin don’t come back,” she said with a wry smile.

“Best get this over with quickly, just in case.”

Rose giggled and pinched him, but hauled his head down to meet her for a languid kiss.

They kissed each other for a long while, not caring about anything but the press of their mouths, the slide of their bodies, the caress of their hands. They joined together when they absolutely couldn’t stand it anymore. With every thrust of their bodies, their love and pleasure mounted before reaching a crescendo of bliss and euphoria that left them panting and clinging to each other.

Basking in the afterglow, James kissed every inch of his wife that he could reach, delighting in the sleepy, sated expression on her face and the hum of satisfaction she let out every couple of seconds.

“I love you,” she slurred as he made another circuit of kisses across her collarbone.

“I love you, too.”

“Thank you for tonight.”

He lifted his head to smirk at her. “I could say the same.”

She snorted. “I meant… you made me feel better after what happened today. You made me feel… special. Cherished. Safe. Thank you.”

James brushed a rogue tendril of hair from her brow, then leaned down to press his lips lightly to hers once, twice, three times. “I am so sorry today was a bad day.”

“Me too.” She sighed. “I just want one day where my mum and I aren’t at each other’s throat. Is that too much to ask? I want my mum to be able to spend time with her grandkids, but it’s getting so hard for me. I don’t know what changed all of a sudden, but it’s like it was when I was a kid, and my mum disapproved about everything in my life. And I swear to God, if she starts picking at Ainsley or Sianin, I will cut off all contact with her. I will not let her take her foul mood out on my children and upset them.”

“Hopefully it doesn’t come to that,” James soothed.

“I wish I knew what happened that has made her snipe at me all the time now. Because something has changed, right? Are you seeing it too? Please tell me I haven’t gone mad.”

“No, I’ve noticed it,” he said. “And I wish I knew. It’s so hard to talk to her about it, either because it’s awkward to bring up the fact that she’s been rude and hurtful lately, or because as soon as I begin to imply something, she gets defensive about it.”

“Maybe we should move to the other side of the world,” Rose mused. “Give us all a bit of breathing room. But I can’t move away from your dad. Our family would literally not function without him.”

“Oi, give us a little bit of credit,” James whined, poking her tummy. “We would make do. But you know that he would follow us to the end of the world, right? If we wanted him to, he would uproot and move with us, no matter where we went.”

“I don’t know whether to feel guilty of grateful about that. Or whether I should feel pathetic that I always want him close by. Which now makes me feel like a terrible daughter ‘cos I want my father-in-law in closer proximity than my own mother.”

Rose pushed her face into a pillow and let out a frustrated scream. James patted her head reassuringly.

oOoOo

The rest of the vacation wasn’t as uncomfortable as James had feared it would be. He saw Jackie and Rose talking quietly the following morning and was relieved when both women embraced. They spent most of the day together on the sand with the babies, and no further arguments appeared to break out.

When they got home, James was glad to see Rose in better spirits. She began taking morning runs again and had signed up for a Pilates class. While he didn’t particularly notice any immediate changes in her physique, he was happy that she seemed happy about her body once more.

And she truly was happy. Rose was mortified by her reaction at the beach, both with her short temper with her mother and with her hatred of her body image. Getting active again helped with her mood, she was pleased to find. She took solo runs in the morning before James had to be at work, then at night after dinner, the whole family would take a leisurely walk through the neighborhood or to the park, if the weather was nice.

It seemed that everyone was in a great mood. She didn’t know if it was from the weather—which was comfortably warm and unusually sunny—but she was glad to see her family doing so well. Her kids were all getting along nicely during their summer holiday from school, and James was enjoying his work more and more. She was pleased that the situation with his coworker had more or less blown over.

Or at least, she had thought it had blown over.

When James informed her that the department was going out for drinks after work one night, she was more than happy to have an evening alone with her daughters. Rose took all four of them out for dinner and ice cream, then they came home to watch a film together.

However, the front door opened much earlier in the night than Rose had anticipated. She instantly knew the outing had not gone well, and a sense of foreboding slithered through her as she stood from the couch.

Sianin was faster and sprinted to the door to greet her father. When she reached him, she stated, “You smell gross, Daddy.”

“Daddy had a little accident and spilled some beer,” James replied. “I’m going to get a shower and wash it off.”

Rose frowned at her husband’s retreating form as he slinked off down the hallway. It wasn’t like him to not pop his head in and say hi. She padded after him.

“Daddy spilled beer on himself,” Sianin explained, passing her mother on her way back to the living room.

“Yes, I heard,” Rose said. “Go sit with Ainsley and watch the film. I’ll be back in a minute.”

He had to have heard her footsteps trailing after him, but James didn’t acknowledge her as he trekked to the bedroom. Rose followed James inside and latched the door behind them.

“What happened?” she asked softly.

He finally turned to look at her. His entire shirt was soaked and the stench of alcohol wafted from him. That definitely wasn’t an accidental spill.

“Rodney,” he said tightly, pulling his shirt over his head. “He threw his bloody glass at me.”

“Are you hurt?” she asked, alarmed. She took a step towards him, inspecting his upper body closely for cuts or bruises. There was nothing on his fair skin.

“He threw the contents of his glass at me,” he amended.

“What happened?” she repeated, silently fuming at Rodney.

“I’m the biggest wanker in the history of wankers, evidently,” James said. His voice oozed nonchalance, but there was a flicker of grief in his eyes.

“Start from the beginning,” Rose ordered.

And so James told her how his evening had gone. How he had mostly stayed clear of Rodney, electing to chat with Mark and some of his other work friends. But Rodney had bought drink after drink until he was properly drunk by the time the food was brought out. He moaned loudly to anyone who would listen that his wife had left him and taken their two children with her, and how he hadn’t seen his kids in three weeks.

That was when James had asked whether his wife was intentionally withholding them, or if he simply wasn’t making the effort to see them.

“I’ll admit, my wording was awful,” James said. “I hadn’t meant to imply it the way Rodney took it. But it didn’t matter. The words were out and Rodney began shouting at me for being a condescending knob who sneers down his nose at all other dads because they aren’t holier than thou like me.

“Then he started calling me a pansy who has no balls, et cetera, and that I’ve basically turned into a mother. He went on to make fun of me for taking the offered paternity leave that the university gives. He said he doesn’t remember a man every taking more than a couple of weeks, and here I’ve taken months when each of my kids were born.

“He then said my daughters are growing up without any masculine influences, and they’re in for a rude awakening when they’re introduced to real men. I told him that he can’t have it both ways: he can’t be angry that he isn’t seeing his children when he never made an effort to be with them. And then my mouth got the best of me, and I said I didn’t care what he said about me, because at least I’ve got my children to go home to tonight.” James rubbed his fingers into his eyes. “That’s when he chucked his beer on me.”

Rose’s pulse was pounding in her ears, and she had the inclination to stalk down to the pub and give Rodney a piece of her mind. She had no idea what to say to her husband. He looked so lost and defeated, so she wrapped him in a tight hug, not caring that he reeked of stale beer.

“And d’you know the worst part?” he whispered into her ear.

“There’s a worst part?”

He snorted, but it was a humorless sound. “I could tell a lot of my mates agreed with Rodney. At least on some level. When Rodney made the jab about me taking so much paternity leave, I saw the agreement on their faces.”

“Oh, James…”

“I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of how much I love you and our children,” he said fiercely. “I’d never be ashamed of that. But… it hurts so much that someone would tease me about it. Why is it considered so odd that I love my family? Why is it so odd that I want to nurture my daughters and be a safe place for them to come to? Why is it so odd that I enjoy spending time with you and our girls?”

“I don’t know,” Rose rasped, tears burning behind her eyes. Tears of sorrow, yes, but also tears of rage. She wanted to scream at anyone who dared make James feel badly about the most important part of his life. He was such a gentle soul, and she hated anyone who belittled him for it, or made him self-conscious about it.

“I thought we were friends. And not just Rodney. Everyone. All of my work mates. But how long have they thought this about me? This whole time, was everyone laughing at me behind my back?”

She squeezed him harder, wanting to fix his breaking heart but knowing she couldn’t. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know what to do,” he murmured. “How am I supposed to face them all on Monday?”

“Don’t. Just quit. Up and leave. To hell with those arseholes. Stay at home with me and the girls and never go back to work again.

She was only partially kidding, but was pleased when a laugh bubbled out of him.

“Unfortunately, children cost money and I can’t in good conscience eliminate our sole source of income.”

“I’ll find a job again. We’d manage. Seriously, James. If you want to quit, we’ll figure out a way to make it work. I will not have you sacrificing your happiness at a job you used to love.”

He exhaled raggedly. “I appreciate that. Truly. But I do love my job still. I love teaching and working with my students and doing research and building instruments. I love all of that. But the people…”

“Get a new job at a new university,” Rose suggested.

“Tempting. But my job now is so good with letting me take time off for family reasons. I got so lucky with that.” He sighed. “No, I’m going to stick it out. Let this whole fiasco blow over. Things will go back to normal soon.”

For James’s sake, Rose hoped that was true. She gave his middle a final squeeze before backing out of his arms.

“For what it’s worth, I love how devoted you are to our children,” Rose said, smiling at him.

His face softened. “That’s worth more than you know. Thank you for listening.”

“Anytime,” she said. “I love you with everything I am, James.”

His smile broadened. “I love you, too, Rose.”

“Right, go on, get a shower. You stink.”

“Way to ruin the moment,” he muttered petulantly, though a small smile still tugged at his lips.

She winked at him, then turned and strode out of the room.

If you’ve read to the end, consider leaving a comment or reblogging? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

[darlingrutherford]

Kinktober Day 10

Happy day ten of Kinktober, all! I’m taking a quick break from packing up the house to write and post today’s fill! Thanks so much to everyone who has been reading along and has been patient with me running a bit behind on these. 

Today’s prompt brought to you by this simple submission sent in by @baar-ur (who gave me permission to tag): “College AU!”

Kinktober Day 10- Sneaky | Ao3 posting coming soon | Alistair Theirin/Lana Surana | College!AU | Explicit - sex in a dorm, trying to be quiet | 18+ only, please!

Alistair was insatiable. Lana was sure of it by then. After joining him in his and Zevran's dorm in an attempt to give her dorm mate a break from their antics, Alistair hadn't wasted time with her while Zevran had been out. Lana had thought it would have been enough, that Alistair would have been too nervous to try anything while Zevran slept above them on his bunk, but he had surprised her before. 

Lana stirred from her sleep as Alistair brushed her long hair from her neck. He had gathered the bulk of it into his hand, pulling it towards the top of her pillow as his lips quietly kissed at her neck. Lana cut her sigh short, almost forgetting in her sleepiness the snoring man above their heads. Her mouth hung open as one of Alistair's large hands grasped at her breast before trailing to her hip and pulling her flush against him. A quiet gasp left her as she felt his hard cock against her bottom. Alistair's lips paused on her skin for a moment, ensuring that Zevran was still snoring before continuing. 

“What if we wake him?” Lana whispered as quietly as she could. She could feel Alistair grin against her shoulder before he placed a warm kiss on one of her scars, could hear him quietly tear at a wrapper as he fumbled with a condom in the dark. 

“We'll have to be very quiet, won’t we?” He whispered back, making her heart pound. His hand had moved to her thigh, gently grasping it and lifting it until her calf rested just behind his knee.

“Alistair, you know I ca-an’t -!” Alistair clamped his hand over Lana's mouth to muffle her as she moaned with the sliding of his cock into her heat. Maker, she was complete rubbish at keeping quiet, but she'd try. Alistair moved slowly in her from behind, his lips parting to make way for heavy breaths as he paced himself. 

“Good?” He whispered quietly into her ear, waiting for her to nod before he slid his hand from her mouth to her hip. Lana tried her best to keep her moans quiet. For the most part she did well. Her mouth hung open as he slid in and out of her, able to dial down most sounds to a breathy rasping in her throat. Alistair kissed the back of her head, his eyes closing as he began speeding his hips ever so slightly. Maker, but she felt so damn good. His hips gained a mind of their own, and as he buried himself fully into her a loud moan rang from her throat, muffled quickly by her own hand. Alistair froze, lifting his head as the room became painfully quiet. He waited for a moment until the light sound of snoring resumed above their heads, then released a quiet, breathy chuckle as he began moving in her again.

“You're a naughty girl, you know that?” He teased quietly.

“Sorry,” she apologized with a grin. Her brow furrowed, swallowing down a moan as he pushed her leg forward to tighten her grip on him.

“Not being able to withhold your… ah… Your excitement… Is hardly a thing to apologize for,” he whispered. Lana gripped her pillow, pressing her face into it as a whimpering moan bubbled up in her throat as Alistair gripped her hip and gave a hearty thrust. They naturally rolled until she was on her stomach, face buried into the pillow as the moans began rolling from her throat. She couldn't control it, Alistair knew that - a wonderful treat that came with being over a foot taller than the woman he loved. Truth be told, it was difficult for him to not join her moans as well. Her heat squeezed him better than any hand could, her bottom created the perfect pillow for his hips as he made small, strong thrusts against it. Alistair sped his hips, not wanting to risk pressing their luck for much longer. Reaching beneath her, Alistair grasped at one of her pillowy breasts, trapping her nipple between his knuckles and squeezing. As a loud moan was muffled in her pillow, Lana tensed around Alistair's cock from the pinch of his knuckles. Alistair held his breath, small bits of his attempt at containing his groan bubbling over as he pulsed inside of her. 

Alistair slumped against Lana's back, pressing kiss after appreciative kiss on her skin. Lana whimpered into the pillow as he slid out of her. She turned her face to breathe, letting a quiet sigh escape her as Alistair briefly got up to dispose of the condom in the dark. When he slid back into bed, she smiled as his arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. Alistair had just began drifting off, congratulating himself on yet another successful sneaky activity with his love, when Zevran's voice from the bunk above them made his eyes shoot open and heat rush to his face.

“Strange… That is the second earthquake this night, it would seem. Perhaps they are of no consequence, as brief as they have been.”

[arttlations]

two

From then on, Lu Feng and I naturally became closer. After sufficient time spent with the other and realizing that the other wasn't as hateful as he seemed and could be in fact, rather cute at times, our relationship rapidly became stronger. I guess the two of us were initially opposites that attracted (personality-wise) but gradually, we kind of rubbed off each other, as seen from Lu Feng's decreasing demerits and my increased cursing.

Not long after our friendship had stabilized, Lu Feng started his criticisms towards my appearance.

"You look really ugly with these glasses, kind of like a mushroom."

God , just when I start being nice, you start crossing the line.

"It's none of your business."

"It's really ugly though."

"If you're going to continue, then write the essay yourself." At that time, I was working on an essay for the useless trash who repays kindness with evil beside me in exchange for three of the canteen's famous pot-stewed chicken drumstick. The essay's title was "My View On Cheating". The school's something something cup essay competition didn't receive enough submissions and hence set a target amount to be collected from each class regardless of the quality.

Both Lu Feng and I hit the jackpot, all thanks to his wide smile after hearing my name being called which resulted in his name being the next one called, which then resulted in me being the smiling one instead. Lu Feng was rather strong in his maths and sciences, but when it came to his two languages, his mistakes could make one cry, making it hard to believe that he was a Chinese, and an American Chinese at that. Rumour had it his midterms' essay was written merely with his stream of consciousness, and by stream of consciousness it meant that he wrote whatever he saw, for example, if he saw a bird fly past or observed that the girl in front of him had on a skirt that was revealing her thighs, he could perhaps try to write a poem of sorts, but to write an essay based on that......

When he received an average result, I guessed the teacher must have been captured by the absolutely mysterious introduction and conclusion. Lu Feng's good handwriting that looked just like a work of calligraphy must have left a strong impression as well.

But if a miracle happens again, it wouldn't be called a miracle anymore. That was why Lu Feng's usual essays were basically pathetic scraps of paper, no matter how you looked at it, it was only at the standard of a primary school child. Giving him a pass was already a lot to ask. Lu Feng himself was clear about this, hence, he had taken the initiative to buy the chicken drumsticks and placed them in my lunchbox in front of me in order to give me some mental strength, at the same time, buttering me up further by fanning me from the side. (It was the end of November where people needed a woolen sweater to get by.)

For my own essay, I had painstakingly written my comments, analysis, and reflections about the unhealthy practices in the exam hall, and at the end, I had included a deep and sincere message, "For socialism, we as students should have a strong foundation in our education journey and should never cheat!" My essay was the perfect example of "a good youth's traditional ideas on socialism".

As for Lu Feng's, with a swish of the pen, I fired away with my baseless theories, reprimanding the education system and demanding for changes to be made.
"If it exists, it must be reasonable. When cheating has changed from a rare occurrence to a frequent problem, changed from a figment of one's imaginations to a habit, then we have to take a closer look at why this is reasonable......"

"It is a gentleman's clever use of other tools rather than his prominent wisdom that helps him stand out.", "A good wind relies on borrowed strength to send me up to the heavens.", when an individual's ability is limited, appropriate usage of other tools as a means to reach his target cannot be said to be an unfair shortcut. From an educational point of view, I believe..."

"Furthermore, just like how the public's worries over their security do not necessarily reflect the decreased quality in character among people but rather the instability amongst the government, the increased frequency of cheating cases do not reflect the student's lack of knowledge and ideas. The real problem lies with our education system which is full of gaps. A change in the education system is, therefore, a much more pressing and effective measure as compared to catching students who are cheating in the exam hall..."

The rest was pretty much similar to those written above, all simply lines of nonsense which feared no god. The rant had left me rather contented when I was done. Watching me write as if I was possessed and coming up with large chunks of text within a mere half an hour, Lu Feng was too dazed to even guess that I was digging his grave.

After finishing, I munched away at the drumsticks, laughing to myself now and then. That big idiot Lu Feng didn't even give it a second glance before writing his own name and shoving the paper in his bag for submission tomorrow.

"Xiao Chen, don't wear this pair of glasses anymore, they look terrible." A standard example of biting the hand that feeds you.

"......" I wiped my mouth, then started, "My eyes don't look good, wearing this would shield you from some of that ugliness." A boy's looks didn't really matter, but having been criticized multiple times, I didn't feel all that comfortable either.

"Why don't you take it off? It wouldn't be worse than this current look anyway."

"......" I turned around and ignored him.

"Come on, Xiao Chen, we have no idea how you look without your glasses either. Remove them so we can have a look."

"I rather not... I'll look terrible and give you guys a scare." It wasn't my fault that I was

born ugly, but there was no need to show off this fact.

Suddenly, caught off guard, my vision became a blur as my glasses were removed by Lu Feng. Since the first year of senior high, my left eye had a power of 375 while my right was 425 (this later seemed to remain the same for about 7-8 years), and with my relatively bad astigmatism, the sudden loss of my glasses made everything before me appear as a mere blur, so all I could do was blankly stare ahead with my mouth slightly opened in shock.

My surroundings became quiet, and only after a while then did I hear the dorm head Xiao Shan laugh dryly before saying, "Xiao Chen...... You actually look quite cute."

Lu Feng returned my glasses by placing them on my face again. "Forget it, you should just keep wearing them."

"I already said I would look bad." I faintly smiled. Strangely, I felt a little upset over Lu Feng's remark.

I can't deny it, Lu Feng is the level's most charming male student. Due to the mixed genes, his features are a lot more distinct than most people. If you looked that good, you would definitely be more picky towards others' appearances - I'm simply comforting myself.

I'm actually still quietly hoping that Lu Feng wouldn't find me ugly.

Lu Feng gave me a small smile. After everyone had gone out of the dorm room to prepare for the night's self-study in the classrooms, he scooted closer to me and reminded me, "Don't let others see you without your glasses in the future."

"I got it." My tone wasn't all that kind. "I'm not wicked enough to go out and scare others when I have nothing to do."

Lu Feng's smile grew wider. "You understand my meaning?"

Irritated, I pushed him away. "Go away, I've to go for self-study now. If you find me ugly, stay further away from me. Don't stand here lest I scare you."

Suddenly, he grabbed me and pulled me towards him, his head lowering to speak lowly in my ear, "I'm saying, that look from before made me feel like kissing you."

"You- Have you gone crazy?" I was stunned for a moment, my face turning a ripe red before I bellowed angrily.

Lu Feng chuckled.

I turned around to avoid looking at that arrogant smirk on his face and kept myself busy by packing my journal and practice questions for the self-study session.

"Eh? Where are my socks?" Lu Feng lowered his head as he searched the room.

"I washed them."

This man looked absolutely fresh and clean from the outside, but on the inside, he was a mess. He never washes his socks, and after wearing a pair, he would put them under his pillow. Once all the socks have gathered under his pillow, he would pick a pair that was not as dirty or smelly as the rest and wear them. About more than half a school term had passed, but not once have I seen him wash his socks. I would bet that if I took any one of them, it would be hard enough for it to stand upright on the floor by itself. Even though I slept on the top bunk, I could barely stand the smell, and yet he didn't find it in the least bit disgusting. In the afternoon, after class, when he was out buying the chicken drumsticks, I took the chance and washed all of those pungent socks. It was only after I hung them up to dry then did I realise there was more than a dozen of them. Gosh.

"You washed them?" Lu Feng lifted his head, casting me a strange look.

"Wh-why?" I was starting to think that there were millions of pounds worth of notes in them seeing his terrifying expression.

"Xiao Chen, you helped me wash my socks?"

"Yes..." I was confused.

"I love you!" Lu Feng spread his arms and immediately gave me a hug. Having not avoided it, I was forcefully wrapped in his arms and given a peck on my face.

"You pervert!" The shock was too much for my heart to take.

"I am a pervert." Lu Feng smiled sneakily. "Here, I'll kiss you once more."

"Dream on." I smacked a thick chemistry textbook on his face, only to be smoothly grabbed by the arm and pressed down on the bed.

"Hey, stop it!" I begged, "I'm ticklish..." Before I could finish, I felt a small attack on my waist, causing me to erupt in laughter.

"Ticklish?" Lu Feng was smiling. "How about this spot? Here? Or here?"

The places he touched felt as if I had come into contact with lightning, making me curl up into a ball, laughing till I found it hard to breathe.

"Xiao Chen, you're really sensitive."

"If I'm ticklish, I'm ticklish. Why is there a need for such a sensual word?" I got up, eyeing his complicated expression as he bit down on his lower lip, his amber eyes sparkling.

"Why are you acting so weirdly? Did you hit your head or something?"

"Nothing." He smiled, wearing his Nike sports shoes barefooted before picking his bag up. "Let's go for self-study."

one//masterlist

[theycallmemoosey]

Beach Dreams

Jack Kelly x Reader

A/N - Okay. My first fic...I’m going to say this straight up: I hate the way it’s laid out but I had to make it this way to post it. Yay...soooo yeah, lemme know how it is. Oh and thanks to my wee squirrel, @musicaltheatrenerd2002, who is my motivation and support daily. Danke <3

—————————————————

You woke up to little grumbles and snores next to you. You turned around in the little bed, facing your boyfriend Jack, who was mumbling in his sleep. You smiled to yourself and kissed his collarbone, placing your hand on his arm and shaking him slightly. “Jacky...baby, wake up” you mumbled by his ear. Jack woke up with a jolt, relaxing when he saw you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, pecking the top of your head.

“Good mornin’ baby girl” Jack yawned, squeezing your arms tightly. You placed your head on his chest and snuggled closer to him, “what were you dreaming about?”. Jack sat up slightly, looking down at you, “Hm?”. You smiled at him, “You were having a dream...what was it about?”.

“Rainbows and ponies” Jack replied, and you whacked his arm and shook your head, “Really...babe come on. What were you dreaming about?”. “Nah. You’d laugh at me...”, he looked away dramatically. “Try me” you smirked at him, and he sighed, rubbing your arm up and down, “Well, I was...”

The lodging house warden began to shout at all the Newsies, walking down the lines of bunks, banging on each metal post of the bed. You could hear the groans of the Newsies as they were woken up, and you raised your head to look at Jack, who simply smiled at you lovingly, before leaning down to kiss you. “Miss Y/N?” You heard the old man behind you. You pulled away from Jack and tilted your head backwards, “Yeah?”. The warden bent down slightly to look at you, “What have I said about sleeping with the boys?”

“That it’s wrong, and if someone from the authorities were to walk in, then I’d get sent to the girls home down the road, but...you’re gonna let me off this one time because no one did turn up and you love me” you smiled at him, and he just shook his head and laughed. You and the warden had one of the best relationships in the house, considering he practically raised you from the age of 7, after he found you alone on the streets. You met Jack when he was brought into the lodging house after his fathers death and you two grew up as best friends. As the two of matured, you discovered you had feelings for one another. And now here you were, aged 16 with your boyfriend, loving life. As you began to get up, you could hear Race and Specs arguing in the bathroom as usual, and you laughed to yourself. You grabbed your clothes off of your actual bunk and strolled into the bathroom. “Alright boys, your times up. This bathroom is strictly for the female gender only from this moment until I leave” you smirked at them, placing your clothes on the nearest sink. You looked at the boys in the bathroom, who were all just staring at you. You huffed and placed a hand on your hip, “don’t make me get Jack...”With that, all the boys began murmuring and scrambling out of the bathroom. You laughed quietly, walking towards the door and catching Jack’s eye. He winked at you and you stuck your tongue out at him, before sliding the door and sighing with content. Peace and quiet.

You washed up, brushed your hair and got dressed into the trousers and oversized shirt, waistcoat and to finish a flat cap. You tidied your hair, pulling out loose strands from the cap to make sure you looked like a girl. Being a news girl sold more papers, unsurprisingly. You walked out the bathroom into the chaotic mess that was the dorm and walked towards Jack’s bunk, dumping his shirt that you sleep in on his pillow. “You know, Miss Y/N,” Romeo said behind you, badly imitating the warden’s voice, “you can’t put your stuff here...this is a boys bed. And we don’t want you to be sleeping with boys in case-“. “Bite me, Mo” you shook your head at him, perching on the side of Jack’s bed. “Where is Jack anyway?” “He went down early. I think he’s already gone to the newspaper factory” Crutchie piped up, struggling to put a sock on. You walked over and help him, confusion running through your head. “He’s never left early before...not unless we fight and...and we haven’t fought in donkey’s years” “I don’t know, Y/N. Maybe he just felt more energised and wanted to get ahead of the queue?” “Since when has Jack ever wanted to be first in line?” Race interrupted the conversation. You looked at Crutchie and sighed, before heaving yourself up and towards the end of the room. “Come on then boys. New day, new paper...same old Weasel. Let’s go sell some papes!”

You led the boys down the stairs, saying goodbye to the warden and walking with Crutchie down the road to the paper factory. You were one of the last to arrive at the gates, but a path was made to let you through. You looked through the gaps and noticed Jack negotiating something with Wiesel. You pulled Race towards you.

“Race, what’s he doing?” “What makes you think that I would know?”You sighed in defeat and shrugged, looking back towards Jack. You could see that he was getting frustrated. You watched the two of them, before you were elbowed gently by Specs. “What was that for?” You asked him, watching his head nod towards the gate, where the Delancey brothers were leant against the railings. You could see their eyes look you up and down, their smirks sickening. You sighed and crossed your arms, “boys, it’s been 8 years. Can’t you two take a hint?” You heard them both grunt, still smiling at you, “What part of no don’t you freaking understand?!” The noise of chattering behind you calmed and became quieter at the sound of your raised voices, although you could also hear the snickers of Race and Romeo next to you. You looked behind them, noticing Jack turn his head towards the gate. You looked at him and smiled shyly, trying to reassure him. You noticed Jack turn quickly back towards Wiesel, before he was given the usual 100 papers. The gates opened and the boys all rushed past you as they queued for their papers. Instead of joining them, you walked over to Jack who was sat reading the paper on the hay bales. “Hey”. He looked up, noticing who it was and smiling, “Hey princess” “Is everything okay, Jack? I saw you talking to Weasel and-“, Jack stood up quickly, taking your hand, “everything’s perfect, Y/N. Promise”. You hummed in agreement, although still suspicious. Jack let go of your hand, and tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, his hand lingering by your cheek. “Go get your papers, and we’ll go sell” he kissed you quickly, and you walked away to line up.

“Ahhh Little Miss Y/N! How many we doing today?” “Weasel...” “Wiesel” “What’s up with Jack?” “He was asking for more papers...but everyone knows the max is 100” “Oh. Right. God, I thought it was something drastic” “How many, Y/N?” “Just 50 today” “50? You not feeling well?” “I’m peachy, Weasel...I’ll see you tomorrow” “It’s Wiesel!!” You paid for your papers and wandered over to Jack, papers in one hand and Jack’s hand in the other.

The two of you walked along the street, towards the main square. You were shouting all sorts of crazy headlines, your personal favourite of Jack’s being “flesh eating bug found in baby’s nose!”

The two of you managed to sell all 150 papers by 4, so the two of you decided to walk to the theatre as a reward. You entered the theatre hand in hand and met Medda backstage. “Jack! I was wondering when you were going to come back. Is that Miss Y/N with ya?” “Hey, Medda” “Oh! Y/N! My child! Oh my how lovely it is to see you again! My, how much you’ve grown since I last saw you!” “Only by an inch. She’s still a midget” Jack wrapped his arm around your shoulders, and pulled you close to him. “Hey now, Jack, that’s no way to talk about a lady! This young lady is a fine one, I’m telling you that. You’re very lucky to have her, Jack. Too lucky...” Medda faked a stern look, making you and Jack laugh slightly. “I know, Medda. I’m the luckiest damn guy in the world” Jack looked at you lovingly, before kissing your forehead. “Well, do you two want to watch the show?” You looked at Jack, who simply smiled and turned to Medda, “we’d love you, Medda, thank you. We haven’t had a time together for a while now” “I’ll let you two have the royal!” “Medda, honestly. There’s no need for that. We can-“ you began, but Medda interrupted.

“No! No! Please. Jack, you know the way. Why don’t you take her up?” Jack took your hand again, “Thank you Medda. You’re the best, honestly. If there are any more backdrops you need me to-“

“Later boy, up you go” Medda shooed you and Jack away Jack led you up the stairs above the stage and into the box, where two cushioned chairs were sat facing the stage. “Oh my lord, this is gorgeous...this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen” you looked at Jack, who just stared at you and smiled. “I mean...apart from your penthouse” “I agree, Y/N...this is the second most beautiful thing I’ve seen. You being the first. My penthouse doesn’t even cover it” Jack moved towards you and embraced you from behind, swaying you from side to side. You looked across the audience and smiled. “This is amazing. Thank you, Jack” “Why you thanking me? Baby, this is all Medda” “I would never have met Medda if it weren’t for you. Thank you for everything, Jack. I really love you, you know that, right?” Jack kissed your neck, “I know Y/N. I love you a million times more” He let go of you and led you into the seat closest to the stage before sitting in the one next to him. The two of you watched the show girls, the singers, the dancers and Medda. Throughout, Jack’s hand was either intertwined with yours or on your thigh, his thumb rubbing against you.

When the show ended, you gave a standing ovation, cheering when Medda took her bow. You looked to your side to see Jack, but saw no one there. You looked around the audience, but he was no where. You quickly stopped applauding and headed out the box, retracing your steps cautiously. You padded along the metal stairway backstage, being careful not to make too much noise. “Jack?” You whispered with a raised toned “Jack?!” You frantically turned your head, looking desperately for Jack, when you noticed him at the bottom of the stairs. “Why did you leave me?” You asked him, walking down the stairs hurriedly “I got you a little sumfin” he smiled childishly. “It better be bloody good...” “Well...best I can do for now”. Jack pulled out a rolled piece of paper, accompanied with a rose. “Jacky...” “Just open it, Y/N”. You looked at him and smiled, before unrolling the paper. Jack had drawn a portrait of you whilst you were watching the show. It was the most beautiful picture you had seen. You stared at it in awe, tears in your eyes. “You don’t like it...” “No! Oh my, Jack, no! This is...beautiful. There are no words for how beautiful this is...” “It’s sure as hell not as beautiful as you, Y/N. I love you with everything I have, even if it is with some paper and charcoal”. You laughed, before embracing him tightly. You kissed him deeply before the two of you were interrupted by Medda’s cough. “I know you two are young, but let’s keep the affection to a minimum in public, okay kids?” “Sorry Medda” Jack laughed, pulling you close, “Y/N, hun, why don’t you go talk to the girls over there? I know how you’ve always wanted to be an actress...” “Oh. Yeah sure” you pecked Jack’s cheek and wandered over towards the show girls, talking with them. Jack smiled as he watched you, before turning to Medda. “Medda, I...I was wondering if you needed anymore backdrops. Or anyone else needs them. See, I need to buy something that costs a lot of money and-“ “Oh sweetie, if you needed money you could have just asked for some. How much is it you need?” “You see, Medda, it’s for Y/N...”.

You watched Jack and Medda talking as you sat on the closest chair to the group of show girls. They stopped talking to you a while ago, and you knew whatever Jack was talking to Medda about was private, so you let them be. You watched as Jack smiled with joy, before hugging Medda tightly. He looked over at you and offered his arm. Giggling, you got up and walked to Jack, taking his arm and thanking Medda, before he walked you back to the lodging house. For the next few days, you woke up next to Jack, claimed the bathroom and walk back to his bunk, which was empty. He always left early, without anyone knowing why. Until one day, Crutchie ignored you. You could only assume he knew what Jack was up to, because when he saw you he smiled and then quickly looked away. Jack was acting particularly affectionate for the next few days, which was lovely for you but also quite odd, as he didn’t particularly like to show affection in public unless he was jealous or boasting.

Finally, it was Sunday. The one day without papers. The one day you could wake up at 11 in the morning and no one in the world would care. Except this morning, when you woke up to the sound of...nothing. You opened your eyes and saw the dorm was empty, including your bunk. You sat up and called out, “hello? Guys, it’s Sunday...where the hell are y’all?”

No one answered and the dorm was eerily silent. “Guys?”. You swung your legs over Jack’s bed and slipped on his nearest jumper, pulling it over Jack’s shirt and your shorts. You walked down the stairs and to the warden’s office. “Mornin’ Y/N” “Hey...where is everyone?” “Not sure. Saw some of them run past the door earlier so probably gone out. You did sleep in quite late to be fair, but you’re right. It is awful quiet...” “I’ll check the roof, see if Jack’s up there”. As you turned round to walk out, the warden grabbed your wrist, “I don’t like you up there, cos if the authority came they-“ “They’re not going to come...and if they do, I’ll take the risk” You walked out and ran up the stairs, through the dorm, then out to the balcony, stopping to take a breath before climbing up the stairs to the roof.

As you stepped onto the gravel of the roof, your breath was taken when you saw all the boys, roses in their hands and big smiles on their faces. “What the-“. Race smiled at you, “Jack. He...well...”. Jack emerged from the back of the group, “I love you, and I wanna show you how much I do. And all these guys wanna say thank you for everything you’ve done. You’ve been the mother half of us have never had and you know what, even though some of these boys are older than you, they think you’re so much better and wiser and we all love you for that. And so, I’m taking you somewhere you’ve always wanted to go...” “London?”. Jack laughed, “not quite, baby girl. We couldn’t quite afford London yet. The boys and I have arranged you and I a couple days in Connecticut. I know you’ve always wanted to go to the beach and see the sand and sea...”. You felt the tears roll down your face as you leapt into Jack’s arms, kissing his cheek continuously. “Thank you thank you thank you. Guys, all of you thank you so much”. The rest of the group joined the hug, suffocating you and Jack in the middle. “Guys! Can’t breathe!” Jack wheezed out, the both of you feeling the fresh air as each Newsies climbed off top of you. “Oh yeah, we all got you another present” Crutchie piped up, holding out a flat box to you. “Guys, you’ve all done enough” you gratefully took the box from Crutchie and opened it, revealing a light blue and purple flowing dress. You weren’t a dressy girl, but that’s only because you were never able to wear one before, however you had seen girls wear beautiful dresses and somehow been a bit jealous. While wearing Jack’s shirt, you would often find yourself flowing around the dorm as if it were a dress. You gasped at the dress, speechless, staring at how it is so beautiful. “Guys...this is...absolutely stunning. Thank you, so, so much...Jesus guys” you began to sob, and Jack pulled you in close. “How about, Y/N, you go put that on and meet me downstairs by our carriage?” “Our what?”

“Carriage...oh yeah. We’re going fancy, baby”. You laughed, kissing his cheek and thanking everybody once again before rushing downstairs to get the dress on.

It came to mid-thigh, not quite the dress of New York, but beach appropriate. You put on your nicest pair of slip on shoes and pinned your hair into a half up ponytail. You looked nice, which for yourself, meant something. You never thought you looked nice, no matter how much people told you that you looked nice.

You padded down the stairs, sighing with nervousness. The warden was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for you, smiling when he saw how you looked. “My, my. Don’t you look beautiful Y/N?” “Shut it” you laughed, hugging him tightly. “I’ll see you in a few days, Y/N. Be safe” “I’m with Jack. I’m too safe if you ask me”. He waved you goodbye as you walked out the door, coming face to face with a Jack you didn’t recognise. He was in suit trousers, an ironed white shirt and his usual jacket, not forgetting his cap, although his hair was neatly tucked in. “Don’t you look, handsome?” “Romeo made me...so I look alright?” “You kidding me? I’ve never been more in love with you than right now”

Jack smiled at you and pulled you in for a kiss, before leading you into the carriage, pulled by horses. The journey was long and for some points, quite boring. You immediately went through Brooklyn, passing by Spot who waved to you. You crossed the boarder and into Connecticut. For some part of the journey, you slept on Jack, and he on you. Just as you were leaving Manhattan, you asked Jack the question on your mind. “Jack...” “Princess” “How?” “How what?” “Did you do this? Get all the money? I do the same job as you and I can’t even afford decent clothes, let alone a 3 day holiday off of work, a new dress, a carriage and a trip to the beach...how?” Jack sighed, looking hesitant to answer. He took your hand in his and looked at you lovingly. “Weasel helped me out. The boys and I all worked extra shifts and Weasel charged us less for the same amount of papers, so we made more money. We knew he’d do it because he loves you to death, and he too, can see how hard you’ve worked. I asked Warden as well...he obviously chipped in. I mean, that alone covered a lot. I left super early in the morning to draw and sell my pictures, and did the same at night. And that day you were sick? I just sold my art. I worked extra at Medda’s as well, and of course she leant me some money. Everyone can see how hard you work to keep us all sane, and yourself. Everyone loves you, and it’s time you get a break”

You didn’t notice the stupid grin on your face, and went to hug Jack tightly. “I love you so damn much, Kelly...” “I love you more”

When you arrived, the two of you went to a nearby hotel, with a king sized bed and a view across the sea. You couldn’t see it because you arrived at night, but the smell alone was amazing. You slept soundly in the huge bed, loving the extra room you had, although you still slept close to Jack.

In the morning, Jack woke up, blindfolding you to the balcony. When you were outside, he took the blindfold off, revealing the beach. It was beautiful.

You had never seen sand before and so you were speechless, begging to go down as quickly as possible. You changed into your dress and dragged Jack downstairs quickly. You ran onto the sand, feeling it slip between your toes. It was hot and felt quite sharp, but pleasant. You looked at Jack happily and held out both hands to him, and he walked to you happily, dancing with you in the sand. He led you towards the water and you weren’t expecting it to be as cold as it was. He began splashing you and chasing you around the water. It was clear why the boys had bought you a shorter dress.

The two of you spent the day on the beach, eating hot dogs for lunch and chips for dinner. You both walked along the shore line at sunset, heading towards the hotel once again. Jack stopped by the rocks, looking in the small pools. “Y/N” “Mmhmm?” “Come here, I wanna show you something quick”. You wandered over to him, looking in the small pool of water. He pointed to a small creature that walked sideways. You laughed at the sight of it, cringing slightly. “It’s called a crab. They’re actually quite delicious...” “You eat them?!” “Yeah. Like you eat fish” “Oh...” “Do you want to hold it” “Ew. No. Thanks for the offer but I’ll-“. Jack clasped his hands together, holding them out towards you, “sure? I mean, he won’t hurt you”. You squealed and backed away. “No! Jack, take it away!” You laughed at him. “Come on, Y/N, pleeeeease” “No!” “Okay okay” Jack chuckled, placing his hands back in the water. He wiped his hands on his trousers, before holding your hand back to the hotel. You fell asleep in an instant, sound asleep against Jack’s chest. He kissed your temple, more in love with you now then ever, before falling asleep with you.

The next day was exactly the same, going shopping in the nearby town. You loved spending time with Jack, especially without worrying about papers and made up headlines. You couldn’t have been happier. The last day came faster than you would have liked, and you spent the day relaxing on the sand, cuddled up to each other, jack’s shirt on the sand as a blanket, and his cap on his face to shield his eyes from the sun. You thought he looked more handsome than ever and kissed him unexpectedly. He sat up, surprised, as you just sat and giggled at him. Jack wasn’t one for public displays of affection, but he grabbed you and pulled you in for a deep kiss. You were there for a while, finally pulled apart by a man who asked you two to stop for the “innocence of my son”. When he walked away, the two of you laughed and cuddled back up together. “Jacky?” “Y/N” “You never told me what you were dreaming about the other night. It’s been bugging me ever since...” “Uhhh” jack sat up, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Jack, don’t make me tickle you” you lunged your arms at his sides, tickling him.

“Alright, alright!” Jack squirmed out of your reach, grabbing your hands, “I was dreaming about...about losing you” “What?” “You left the lodging house early one day and I went after you, only to find out you were with Oscar” “What? Delancey?” “Yeah...and I tried to soak them and I failed...” You laughed, shocked at what Jack was suggesting. “See? I told you you’d laugh at me!” “Oscar? Really?” “I know...” “I mean, if I were to go for a Delancey, it would HAVE to be Morris, I mean, have you seen his eyes?!” Jack just stared at you, jealously flashing across his eyes. You couldn’t help but smile, turning into a laugh when he growled playfully at you. He jumped towards you and pushed you backward, making you fall onto the blanket. He just stared into your eyes lovingly, sighing. “I wouldn’t leave you for all the money in he world” you reassured him. “I love you” he leant down to kiss you, but you rolled out of his hold, scrambling up onto your feet. You began running across the sand towards the sea, calling out behind you, “Race you for first bath tonight!” Jack just laughed at you, chasing you towards the water, splashing you as he entered.

You went for one last swim until the sun began to set, and once again walked along the shore hand in hand. When you once again reached the rocks, Jack stopped you and kissed you gently. “Thank you, Jack. This was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. After you, of course...” Jack smiled, “anything for my girl. Speaking of baby...I need to ask you something” “What’s up, Jack?” “Y/N, I know we’re only young, but I’ve decided. You’re the one for me and I’ve never felt this way about any girl before. You’re my sunrise and sunset and everything in between. You’re my world, and I want to give you everything and more...” Jack breathed in deeply, noticing you smiling widely. He took your hand in his and knelt down on one knee, noticing you gasp and begin to cry. He took out a small black box and opened it, revealing a beautiful black diamond ring. “Y/N...will you become Mrs Y/N Kelly? Will you marry me?”. You nodded frantically, unable to form words. Jack sprung up and hugged you tightly, pushing the ring onto your finger. He kissed you deeply. “I love you so much Y/N...” “I love you so much too Jacky”

You two practically skipped back to the hotel, crawling back into the hotel bed. You leant against Jack’s chest, admiring the ring on your finger. Jack pulled you in close and kissed your forehead. “How?”

“Medda. She’s had this for years, but never had a use for it. When I explained what I wanted to do, she gave it to me the next day. It’s perfect for you...” “It’s perfect. You’re perfect” you kissed Jack and snuggled into his arm more. “Goodnight Kelly” you mumbled against Jack. “N’night Kelly” Jack rubbed your arm, watching you fall sound asleep on him. “I love you” “I love you too”.

There was silence for a few moments, before you whispered once more.

“Kells?”

“Mmhm?”

“Is this a bad time to tell you...I’m pregnant?”

[artificialqueens]

Kitty Boy 2 (Bianca x Adore)- Squeaky

AU where people are born with cat ears, which they lose when have sex. Those who no longer have animal features are differentiated by society as “adults”.

OR: The story of how Danny loses his ears.

Danny sometimes pretends to be a girl. He’s got a baby face and penchant for wearing skirts. With his hair up in pigtails and his soft ears, Danny easily passes as female on the streets of Azusa. It’s just easier that way. No one questions a seventeen year old girl, who’s still got her ears. Not the way they hiss and jeer at a ‘pussy boy.’

He feels disjointed from his body. Danny watches the cute boys at school, tail curling at the edges, but they never look back. One of his friends trips him down the stairs in front of his crush, and he turns into a red tomato. Fuck, he’s going to be a virgin forever, isn’t he?

It feels like there’s two version of him: there’s pathetic Danny, and there’s big voice Danny. That version is stronger and more powerful. So when he fails to get all the way on American Idol, it’s a huge blow to his already struggling self esteem.

After that, Danny spends too much time in the shower, trying to escape the world by singing songs to himself. Only there, away from everything, can he relax. But Danny can’t hide behind a tattered skirt or his shower forever. He still wants to share his voice with the world. He still wants to become something more than just another gay boy, who hasn’t lost his ears.

Danny smooths his black shirt as he waits for his number to be called. This time he’s older and…no, not wiser. Just a little less naive. He counts to ten and then pushes the door open.

“I remember you,” Paula Abdul says as he strides in. Danny’s tail curls around his jeans as he stands before the judges, sizing them up as they size him up. Simon Cowell bites his pen and stares straight at him. Shit.

Randy Jackson snaps his fingers: “Danny, wassup?”

“Nothing much,” he says even as his ears twitch. “Just trying to keep my nerves down.”

“What do you think happened last time?” Paula questions as she scribbles something down on her notepad.

“Uh, a lot. Bad song choice- one. And my nerves just…” Danny trails off as he widens his eyes and gesticulates wildly.

Him? Nervous? It’s more likely than you think.

Then he just throws his head back and sings ‘Proud Mary.’ His tail swings to the beat, and he feels every note. In his lungs. In the snap of his fingers. In the curl of his toes. It’s like Danny’s back in the shower, and all his anxiety is vanishing to the hot smoke.

Danny takes a final breath and waits for the judges to speak. His tail curls around his legs again as he comes down from the high.

“I can’t believe the voice that comes out of this body,” Paula says as Randy Jackson laughs. He flushes as he waits for Simon to say something, anything.

“You’ve got a very good voice, Danny.”

“Thank you very much, Simon.”

“You’re more confident, if that’s possible, this year.”

“I’m just trying to be myself more,” Danny explains. “Last year I was so not myself.”

Randy Jackson interrupts him: “But I thought it was a really good audition. One of the best I’ve seen all day. I was like, woah, what!”

“It’s just not expected to have that kinda voice to come out of you,” Paula repeats, and if Danny wasn’t beaming, he might have wondered what she meant by that. Unexpected because of his age? Or because he still had his ears? But then he realizes that’s three ‘yes’s, and he dosen’t care.

“I’m going to Hollywood, baby!” Danny screams, black shirt riding up, as he runs out the room with the golden ticket above his head. For once in his life, he’s not self conscious of his ears or his tail. He feels whole and ready to take on the world.

“This is what I needed,” Danny tells the camera with a wink as he waves his ticket. “A second chance.”

——-

So then why do they treat him like he’s some sort of comedy act?

The PR people tell him straight to his face “don’t lose your ears while you’re on the show.” That’s not a problem- there’s no boy in boot camp crawling up into his bunk. Still, their words sting a little. Is that his only appeal? He’s innocent like a Jonas Brother? Should also he start wearing a purity ring around his tail to appeal to middle America?

“This is bullshit,” Danny rants to his mother on the phone. 

“Just butch it up baby, so they don’t make fun of me.”

“But…I just want to be me!”

“So be yourself. Just…” his mother sighs. “Just try to have fun?”

“I’ll try,” he sighs and holds the phone to his chest, heart twisting.

Once more, Danny is a stranger inside his own skin. When he’s practicing his songs, he tugs on his ears. Simon, aside from his first audition, doesn’t take too kindly to him. He calls him ‘grotesque’ and ‘useless,’ and all that does wonders for Danny’s self-esteem.

When he’s eliminated, Danny is more relieved than heartbroken.

“Our next guest is one of the most popular contestants on this year’s American Idol,” Ellen Degeneres announces.

When Danny walks onto the stage of the Ellen show, his heart sinks as he sees himself on the TV monitors. Oh god, they dressed him up like a preacher’s daughter. His cat ears are sleek and perky on top of his fringe, and he’s got a white collared shirt like a pilgrim. They might as well just have written ‘Chasity Kink’ over his chest. 

“Hey, Danny.”

“Hey, Ellen,” he grins, tucking his fingertips under his jeans. His tail has curled itself around his ridiculous shirt, as if to hide him from the eyes of the crowd.

“I think you’re great, and I love your voice. What do you think went wrong on American Idol? And do you have any regrets?”

“I don’t have any r-” He cuts himself off with a laugh. “Yeah, I do. I regret my first song choice. I would have put more thought into it. The one that Simon called ‘grotesque.’ I mean I liked my other two…I was having fun with it…I was being myself?”

“That’s what I love about you. You’re yourself,” Ellen says empathetically, and Danny’s heart twists in his chest even as he nods.

His tail nervously twitches, but he keeps smiling as Ellen continues to call him “un-apologetically” himself. If only he was.

Danny’s relieved when Ellen asks him to sing. Only then does his tail relax. He sways to the sweet rhythm, closes his eyes, and tries to forget everything but the words and the melody.

——-

Angel Baby is his first escape. His ears are hidden beneath a thick, black wig. His tail is strapped to his padded thighs, tucked away just like his cock. He loves to make videos on Youtube pretending to be his “chola” persona. Then comes Violet Valentine for when he’s working the club scene. Valentine is sexy and free, in every way that Danny isn’t.

But Adore is his perfect escape.

He created her to leave Danny behind, and Adore lets him do just that. It’s not the same as the early days when he used to dress up as a girl because Adore is a queen not some little girl. She’s an illusion that everyone chooses to believe in. It’s less about gender or sexuality, although it’s that too, and more of a home. Yes, when Danny is Adore, he finally feels like he’s at ease inside himself.

So when he gets the call to be on Drag Race, Danny screams even louder than he did when he got the Hollywood ticket. Here’s the chance to show the world, really show them, who he is. Everything is a flurry of panic and heels and sparkles as he struggles to fill up a suitcase.

Before she knows it, Adore’s strutting into the workroom with a “I’m hooome”. She feels fishy and fresh in her green wig and tight, red dress.

“I’m so excited I could pee,” Adore giggles as she throws her coat over her shoulder and totters over to the one of the chairs. She’s not wearing any underwear, but she has her tail tucked away. Priorities.

Then there’s a commotion as Bendla “Terminally Delightful” Creme flutters in, Gia lands like fresh tilapia, and Laganja death drops. Adore’s known Laganja ever since she was in her first club, so to see her here? It’s nice to have a friend.

Then some other bitches arrive, whose names Adore can’t remember cause they leave five minutes later. The Rumail siren sounds, and she falls off her chair. Classic. Adore isn’t the queen of math, but she’s counts seven instead of fourteen queens.

More than anything though, she’s nervous for the first challenge. Adore ends up jumping off a platform looking like a crazy person. As she stumbles away and takes off her wig, Adore can hear audible gasps from the other girls. Oh right, she has ears.

“I still can’t believe you have them,” Laganja, of all the queens, remarks.

Adore flushes: “I’m not a prude, I’m just waiting for the right guy to show up, you know what I mean?”

“Aw, I think it’s sweet,” Bendela chimes in.

“Very purr-e. Get it…like pure?” Gia jokes and makes a clawing motion. No one laughs.

While Gia is stacked with a wardrobe of glam gowns, Adore has like…four gowns. Her tail wraps around her as she stares at all the glittering gowns that the other queens produce from their suitcases. Suddenly, her clothes from Azusa don’t seem as dazzling.

Laganja her, uh, “sister” wins the mini-challenge and gives her a box full of crap to work with. Adore may or may not have hot glued the fabric to her mannequin. Everyone’s ready, and Adore’s still trying to de-tatter her pile of tatters to form a dress. Basically, she’s a hot mess, minus the ‘hot’ part.

Somehow, Adore manages to escape the bottom two, and Kelly-What’s-Her-Face leaves. It’ll be a whole week until she sees the other seven queens.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” she confesses to Laganja as they load up into the cars. The other girl just kinda squeezes her shoulder, and Adore’s heart sinks. So much for friends.

But Adore has more to worry about then Langaja’s betrayal. Like seven new queens. There’s Courtney Act AKA drop dead gorgeous with a voice to match Adore’s. Then there’s Miss.Pack-Your-Bags-Del-Rio.

She doesn’t like Bianca from the moment she meets her. Bianca’s quick and sharp tongued, while Adore’s tripping over her tongue like she’s still learning to read. Adore can sense competition, and this bitch is fierce. But she’s also…a bitch.

Adore takes off her wig for the first time in front of her, ears wiggling free, and Bianca gives the camera a look. How can she read Adore with nothing but her eyes alone? It makes Adore’s stomach twist into a small, insecure knot, and her tail twists with it.

When she’s alone in her hotel room, worrying about everything she could have done better, Adore remembers that look. Bianca’s twisting face haunts her as she tosses and turns.

So when Bendela asks “if there’s anyone on the other team that you just wouldn’t want to work with,” Adore’s honest as fuck.

“Probably Bianca. I feel like she’s just ‘competition, competition, competition.’”

Adore, tugging on the strands of her red wig, can sense the drama stirring as the other team comes back in. Speak of the devil and Bianca will appear.

“So…what were you saying?” Bianca asks as she perches, like a black crow, across from Adore. She can hear the whirr of the cameras eagerly zoom in on her face. Fuck, Adore’s done reality TV but never like this.

“They asked me who I wouldn’t work with, and I said you, Bianca.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t?”

“The energy I get from you is very competition-”

“Well, isn’t that what we’re here for?”

“I just feel like you have a really strong personality, and our personalities would clash, and if I was the team leader, you’d sell me up the river.”

“Oh, I…what’s your name again?” Bianca quips.

Even if she’s joking, Adore doesn’t laugh like the other girls. In every dark joke, there’s a glimmer of truth. Bianca doesn’t think Adore’s serious competition.

While the cameras and conversation drift away, Adore hasn’t forgotten.

Later that night, Danny dreams that Bianca’s pulling at his tail, hard. When he tries to get away, the queen just holds him down and forcibly strokes his ears, humiliating him in front of the hungry glint of the cameras.

Danny wakes up in a cold sweat, and he’s hot with arousal. He groans as he rolls in his hotel bed, trying to ignore his flushed cock. Finally, humiliated, he shoves his hand down into his boxers. Bianca’s harsh face melts away into Roy’s.

Fuck, what is this competition doing to me? Danny thinks as he bites his bottom lip. He pants and strokes himself, tail desperately curling around his thigh. It’s not enough. Danny hates how much his stomach twists with arousal as he imagines Roy holding him down, petting him, and whispering taunting words into his ear.

Danny bites his pillow as he cums. Pathetic. Why is he thirsting over this bitch? Maybe it’s like prison where people start to look more attractive than they are. Maybe.

——–

He feels trapped by the judges expectations. Usually, he’s free to be his punk rock self. Now, Danny has to worry about cinching up Adore for Visage and being glam for Ru Paul. The more they push, the more he wants to push back. It feels like he’s just came back from singing in front of Simon Cowell and been told that his song’s grotesque.

The last human being on earth he expects to come to his rescue is Roy.

“You’ve just got to breathe,” Roy whispers in the hallway, hand resting against Danny’s shoulder. He leans into his touch.

“Easy for you to say, you’ve got this competition on lock.”

“Do you want to borrow one of my corsets? Here, I’ll help you,” Roy says, and his whole body language has changed. He seems so human and real. It’s nothing like the competition-hungry beast in Danny’s head.

Danny nods, takes a deep breathe, and feels…ok.

Not perfect but ok.

True to his word, Roy helps him with his body shape. Maybe, just maybe, Roy might not be as evil or as cunty as he wants everyone to believe.

“You can do this,” Bianca whispers before the run way.

“Why are you being so nice to me? Are you ok?“

“I…you’re a good kid,” Bianca replies, but Adore wonders if there’s anything else. Adore can’t stay a moment longer, has to go out on stage to strut, but Adore wants to look closer, wants to know if there’s more.

——–

Bianca wins the crown, but Adore, cliche as it may sound, feels like she’s won something better. Even when she’s not in drag, Adore has a different energy to her. Everything is open with possibility and adventure. Suddenly, the world is her stage, but she’s not listening to the ‘judges.’ She’s playing her own rules.

“Look pretty happy for a loser,” Bianca teases.

Adore only laughs. Before she might have taken the comment to heart, but outside of the competition, she can see that it is just a joke. What’s this strange glow? Confidence?

“Bitch, you know Ru’s taking half that money through taxes anyways.”

“That’s the government,” Bianca corrects with a wink as they walk back to their Uber. Adore bites her red lip as they squeeze inside. Bianca is pressed up so close to her, and Adore’s tail, strapped to her, twitches. Oh god, how is that just one touch sets her off like this?

“Whatever, I’m going to earn my money through tax free stripping and singing,” Adore giggles. She feels drunk off the LA night. The city is rushing by them, but she’s safe here, pressed up against Bianca’s side.

Adore strips off into Danny, one lash at a time. His ears twitch as he shakes off his wig and curls up into Roy’s bed. It’s so soft and warm, and it has Roy’s familiar scent. Then Roy squeaks down onto the bed and messes up his hair, hands running over his ears. Danny can’t help but purr at the sensation.

“I think you’re driving Reddit crazy looking like that,” Roy says, and his hand rests on Danny’s head. Danny looks up at him with a yawn, nose twitching, as he leans into his touch.

“Like what?”

“Like that,” Roy grumbles as he flops down next to him and then tugs at his ears. “With these.”

“Is this still Reddit we’re talking about? Or you?” Danny asks, dipping his voice lower. He scoots closer, so their thighs are touching again. Roy’s in nothing but sweats. There’s just a hint of aftershave and strong perfume, and Danny wants to bury his face into his shoulder. So he does.

“What are you doing?” Roy grumbles, but his hand betrays him as it wraps up into Danny’s hair and starts to stroke his ears. Danny’s cock twitches in his boxers at the same time as his tail. Stomach twisting, Danny starts to purr a little bit louder.

Roy’s face is just inches from his: “Feel good, hm?”

Danny, feeling bold, leans closer. Roy tastes like a shot of vodka, and he shivers. When Roy pushes him back and pins him to the bed, Danny’s sure he could drunk just from the taste of him. He can feel Roy’s bulge against his thigh. So thick and nice. When the older man pulls back, Danny whimpers with need.

“Why’d you stop?”

“Because I…” Roy flushes. “I don’t want to take anyone's ears. I….”

“Who said anything about taking them?”

Roy stiffens even as Danny crawls closer, tail wagging behind him.

“I’m giving them to you,” he purrs.

Danny wraps his legs around Roy’s waist, so he’s straddling him, and he runs his hand down his bare chest. Just the gentle brush of his fingertips made Roy moan. Danny leaned down for another kiss as he ground his hips down, his couch twitched under him.

Roy is so gentle. Nothing like he thought he would be. He’s sweet and takes his time covering his fingers with lube. By the time he’s pressing one inside of Danny, he’s hard with anticipation.

“I’m a virgin not a fucking baby; you can be a little rougher,” Danny whines.

“Calm down,” Roy whispers in his ear. “I want this to feel good for you and your virginal ass.”

“Is that your idea of sexy talk?”

Roy just kisses him quite, and Danny’s giggling against his lips. He’d never thought sex would be this normal. He’d always thought it’d be fucking wild and life changing, but this feels so perfect and natural. Danny bites back a groan as Roy squeezes in another finger inside of him. They fit so perfectly. Big and nice. 

“Any slower and we’d be going backwards,” Danny complains only because he loves the way it makes Roy’s fingers twitch in annoyance. They curve inside him and rub against that spot. 

“Shut up,” Roy groans. 

“Make me, how ‘bout that?”

Three fingers now, and Danny’s starting to feel the pain. It only turns him on more. His cock is leaking precum. His tail and toes curl in need. He feels like he’s been stretched open, and Danny loves it. 

Then Roy instructs him to get on all fours and rubs his cock against the curve of Danny’s ass. Danny whimpers at the loss of fingers, but he’s excited for more. The change of positions makes him squirm. He can’t believe this is finally happening.

“There we go,” Roy breathes as he presses the tip of his cock inside and reaches forward to rub Danny’s ears. The stimulation is everything. Oh, god, he needs to be filled up now. He wants Roy to just-

“F-fuck me,” Danny moans as Roy does just that.

Roy’s running his hands over his ears as he fucks him, and the pressure of his cock against his prostate combined with his fingers in his hair? It’s heaven. Danny’s eyes roll back from the pleasure. His cock twitches, ignored. 

“Feeling it now, baby?” Roy teases.

“O-oh, yeah,” Danny laughs and then it turns into a groan.

Roy’s speeding up his pace, and the foreign feeling of being filled up is so fucking nice. Danny just wants Roy to stay inside him. Fuck him. Take him. 

It’s the feeling of Roy pulling on his ears as he slams into his prostate that pushes him over the edge. Danny cums with a groan, spilling all over the sheets. Roy grunts as he pulls out and cums all over his back. 

“Messy,” Danny whines as he curls up on Roy’s chest, eyes fluttering shut. He yawns. 

“Exhausted after only one round? And I’m the old one?”

“You really gonna judge me if I fall asleep?”

Roy presses a soft kiss to his cheek: “Fuck, no. I’m sleeping too.”

You know what? For once in his goddamned life Danny doesn’t feel judged. He just feels…happy. He isn’t sure why he thought the ears were a big of a deal. In the morning, they’re gone, but he has something better- Roy.