#this girl full on took a nap on me yesterday and i still feel like i'm bothering her when i text her back wtf

[ireniceyes]

˖˙ ᰋ ── SICK LOVERS ˖*

FEATURING ; Megumi Fushiguro

Megumi x reader, fluff, modern au, characters in ages 15-16.

SYPNOSIS ; In which, you & Megumi are constantly on each other’s side. Both deeply attached to each other in a beautiful way, but when the constant back & forth messages fall silent, you can’t help but worry— what if he’s grown sick of you?

NOTE ; This is short & I made it in less than an hour okay.. theirs probs things that don’t make sense but still enjoy :p

As time continued to pass, the day dragged on, no text from Megumi or a word heard from him since yesterday, the day proved to be uneventful and mundane without him.

You wondered why Megumi wasn’t here and why he hasn’t answered your messages—usually when he doesn’t show up to school he texts you from his house. So what’s so different this time ?

You soon enough found yourself outside Megumi’s house. The reasoning behind your distracted and overthinking mind, was the same reason you were in this position. After you knocked the door it seemed like you waited hours for some one to come and open it. Soon enough the door flew open, revealing a bright smiled Tsumiki.

Tsumiki welcomed you inside, closing the door quietly behind both of you. Once both of you were inside Tsumiki gave you a long tight hug after not seeing you around for some time.

“How have you been..? Is Megumi okay?” you asked, voice filled with worry as the words rolled off your tongue, hoping Megumi is okay and nothing bad had happened.

“Well Megumi hasn’t felt so good these past couple days..and today he ended up feeling worse..as for me I’m fine..if you want to see him, you can just don’t get to close to him or he might get you sick, and we don’t want that to happen.” Tsumiki said, making her way to Megumi’s room as you followed quietly behind her.

Soon enough both of you were right in front of Megumi’s door as Tsumiki’s hand made its way to the door knob, slowly opening the door. The girl made room for you to be able to enter, and you did. Tsumiki stood by the door. “He’s probably asleep, just give him a few gentle shakes, I’ll go finish up the tea I’m making him.” Tsumiki said as she made her way back to the kitchen.

You slowly made your way towards Megumi, the room was awfully quiet and peaceful, neat too. The boy was laying on his bed, blankets and pillows covering his body completely as his hair was a mess. You could only hear your foot steps and the sound of Megumi’s stuffed nose, as he took short & slow breaths.

“Megumi..?” you called out, your voice barely above a whisper as your hand gave his shoulder a gentle shake. The movements caused Megumi to scrunch up his face as he turned the opposite way from your body, not wanting to be interrupted in his rest.

You have Megumi another shake as his head slowly turned towards your direction, sleepy eyes meeting yours. “Hm..?” Megumi barely let out, his tone full of confusion as he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or if you were actually in his room.

Without even letting him wake up fully from his slumber he suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around his neck, slightly squeezing his body onto her body as the warmth between both of you was all you felt. “I thought you were dead, dumbass.” you said in a playful tone as your arms were still around his neck, your face facing up to look at him. “I might as well be dead..my whole body hurts..and my throat feels like it was put on fire.” he responded, a cough interrupting him in between words.

“You had me worried all day in school, you didn’t answer my messages, plus the ones from yesterday when we did text a bit after school before you stopped responding.” you said, looking at him as you pulled away from the embrace you were both in. “M’ sorry I wasn’t already feeling good these past couple days..then yesterday after school my head hurt so bad so I took a nap—well I ended up falling asleep then today my whole body felt sore, I haven’t even opened my phone since the last time we messaged.” he said.

“Well good thing I know you are alive and not dead in a ditch somewhere.” you said as you gave him a light smile, before hugging him again, not remembering you might also get sick from hugging him.

The days went by as you would take time out of your evening to stop by his house. During these past few days your body started to feel more heavy. During school you would have a runny nose, making you have to keep spare tissues.

You made your way to Megumi’s house since your parents told you they would be out for the night. They even told you if you wanted to stay the night at Megumi’s house you could. By now, you’ve come to the conclusion that you had gotten sick, so you could just stay over at his house since you were sick & he was sick too.

“So your sick too? Wait I got you sick..see this is what you get for always hugging me knowing I’m sick.” megumi said, his voice a bit stern as if it sounded like he was scolding you for not being more careful. “I know but I’m staying over for the night. Either ways I’m sick now, oh well.” you said as you looked at him, both of you sitting in his bed. “Let’s sleep then, okay? I’m think I’m getting better but I’m still tired.” he said, his voice a bit dry. “Okay then.” you said as you watched Megumi make space for you in his bed, the room was dark, the only light coming from the blinded windows in his room. You slowly made your way next go Megumi as he laid the blanket over your bodies.

You guys were friends, but both of you cared deeply for each other and had a soft spot for one another. That’s what made your friendship pure, or something that soon enough could turn deeper than a friendship, but for now both of your were happy like this. Close to each other as the warmth created by your bodies comforted both of you.

Your eyes were gently closed, the sound of his & your breathing slowly was the only thing that made its way to your ears. Soon enough you felt the touch of someone, it was Megumi’s touch. He was carefully wrapping his arm around your waist. Bringing your body more closer to his slowly, making sure you wouldn’t wake up with the sudden movements.

Megumi had noticed that every time he was around you he felt different then when he was around other people, and he wasn’t dumb, he knew he had gained feelings for you. He was sure you also felt something back, which you did. The thing he wasn’t sure is when he would let you have the key to his heart; to tell you his feelings & for you to reciprocate those feelings back. But for now he was okay with this.

And slowly a garden bursts into bloom. The love between one another is a beautiful, fragment flower adorned with petals of passion, the connection like an intricate pattern of stems and tendrils that twist around each other, intertwining and becoming one. Every touch, every moment, is like a warm sun, nourishing and nurturing their love until it turns into a beautiful field of love.

— © ireniceyes 2024. Please don’t copy, translate, or plagiarize my work.

[regulatedstrawberry]

Reaching New Heights : A Tails Adventure - Chapter 12

Happy Holidays everyone! Newest chapter of my fic is out, with a preview below the cut - the longest chapter yet. Hope you enjoy, and I'll see all you readers in the new year!

Summary:

“When this is all over… I think I need to go it alone for a while. I can’t grow into my full potential if I always fall back on you.” Tails decides to embark on his own journey, without Sonic. Amy goes on the girls trip of her dreams, with Cream and Sticks. Sonic receives a surprise visit from the future. Takes place after the main storyline events of Sonic Frontiers.

Rating: T Words: 34k+ Chapters: 13/?

Read the Prologue Here!

Sonic and Silver were wiped.

Since infiltrating Eggman’s base yesterday afternoon, the two of them had spent the entire night through the morning, searching for something that could explain the time paradox threatening the future. Aside from Eggman’s wrath, and the phone call with Amy, they hadn’t made it any farther than where they’d started. 

Exhausted and fruitless, the two hedgehogs trudged to the wooden picket fence of Vanilla’s cottage, and opened the gate to the yard

“Ugh…” Sonic yawned, covering his mouth lazily, before turning to look at Silver with bags under his eyes. “Sorry we didn’t find anything. We’ll start back after…” Another yawn. “After we get some sleep.” 

Silver’s usual gentle smile was replaced with a worn, grumpy expression. He took a deep breath, trying to fight the tiredness. “Okay,” he mumbled, reaching up to rub his eyes. “Remind me why we didn’t go to Spagonia again?”

Sonic rubbed his face, groaning. “Because Amy is there,” he explained. “And she’s helping out the citizens of Spagonia recover from the earthquake. Plus, I want to let Vanilla know that I talked to Cream, and that she’s safe.” 

It wasn’t a full answer, but Sonic was too tired to really explain it to Silver again. He’d explained this to Silver in the middle of the night, while they were walking. Amy wanted to go off on her own, as she put it, to ‘share her love with the world’ . If Amy learned about Silver’s situation, she would drop everything to help them – or at the very least stretch herself out thin between them and the Spagonians. Sonic was lucky, really, to have such good friends that he could call upon and rely on in a pinch.

But this was Amy’s time to be independent. It was all she’d asked of him - the least he could do was honor her request… by making sure he handled it himself.

Sonic dropped his hands from his face. Despite what felt like a solid and straightforward explanation, he still felt like there was a feeling… unaccounted for. It felt unnatural for these things to weigh so heavily on him. Like there was some subconscious feeling he couldn’t quite name .

He shook his head, deciding to chalk up the spiraling to sleep deprivation, and shoved the feeling down in his chest. Sonic didn’t want to think about it any further - he wasn’t used to having such deep thoughts for so long. He just wanted to lay down. 

Silver let out a heavy sigh through his nose, reaching a hand to rub the corner of his eye. “Okay,” he said quietly, faintly remembering the conversation. The situation in the future had Silver on edge; it was difficult to focus on anything else. He was more upset that they ended this search with no leads, and for once as a time traveler, that was something he was now running out of. If it wasn’t for his weakening body, he would have kept searching on his own. 

But the sight of Vanilla’s quaint cottage, the worn surface of her wooden door, felt comforting, with the smell of home-cooked food wafting through the windows.

“We’ll get back to it after our power nap,” Sonic reassured, his little quips still coming easily to him. He grabbed the handle to the front door, and turned it, looking over at Silver. “Let’s just get some…”

The door opened. Neither hedgehog was prepared for what they had walked into.

Read Chapter 12 Here!

[nannychloecatalog]

The Squishing Punishment: My Journey of Extreme Diaper Punishment and Regression (Full-Length ABDL Novel)

(The following was first published on: Apr 21, 2020)

Excerpt:

She always waits for me to make a poopy in my diaper before giving me my punishment.

She calls it... The Squishing Punishment.

That is, not only is the punishment bad in of itself…

But she particularly enjoys punishing me in a smelly, squishy, poopy diaper, just to make my humiliation that much worse.

She knows I hate the diapers she makes me wear. And god, do I long for the days when I could use the toilet like an adult.

But no, those days are over.

Just like the days when she didn’t have any say over what I wear…

Or what I eat…

Or if and where I go…

The days when I was just a normal 20 year old guy who needed a roommate…

And she just happened to be a woman I ended up splitting an apartment with...

A surprisingly attractive, strong, ten-years-older-than-me, woman named Sally.

The days when my secret crush on her still allowed me to naively hope I might someday have a chance with her...

That I could be her boyfriend and she my girlfriend...

That she might even be the girl I could finally lose my virginity too…

A foolish, naïve hope that led me to passively accept a growing list of rules that she began imposing on me…

Rules that ostensibly began for the purposes of governing our shared apartment, but seemingly grew to include the purposes of governing me—with demands suddenly pertaining to domains such as the cleanliness of my room, how I used the bathroom, how I now needed her permission to enter or leave any shared space…

My foolish crush and foolish hope peaked in the moments when I finally worked up the courage to ask her out on a date—

Only to be met with her snickering reply, "Hmm, let me think about it, I'm not quite sure you’re… enough man for a girl like me. No offense.”

And any hope of mine remaining went up in flames just a few days after that, when our relationship took a decisive, unanticipated turn…

When I put up no fight as she permanently downgraded me from roommate to… her diapered adult baby.

Now I know that the odds of her ever seeing me in that way, as a man, are just as unlikely as me ever getting to do my ‘business’ behind the privacy of a closed door again…

She said the diapers were because I clearly couldn’t control myself anymore, after I had had one accident too many.

She said that maybe I’d finally be ready for ‘potty training’ again after spending a good long time being forced to use diapers 24/7, with the bathroom totally off limits.

But despite her official reason, deep down, I suspect she continues to keep me in diapers because, well, because she relishes the power.

That is, the absolute psychological control, authority and domination she gains over me, by keeping me in diapers.

She loves the humiliation, disgust, and shame I feel from morning to night, knowing that I must wet and soil myself like an infant.

That I now depend on her completely for my most intimate and embarrassing needs…

After all, the rules she gave me were clear—I was never permitted to ever touch, remove, cover or otherwise tamper with my diaper… let alone change it.

“No,” she said to me, “You lost that adult privilege when you messed in your pants like an infant. Like I said, from now on, I’m going to treat you exactly like the baby you are.”

I still vividly remember the incident that finally pushed her over the edge like it was yesterday…

I had been taking an afternoon nap on the couch and was woken by the sound of the front door opening.

I realized she was home early. And as I sat up, I also realized, to my horror, that my crotch was soaked.

I had done it again. I had wet myself while sleeping. This time, while just taking a nap.

I leapt to my feet and sprinted to the bathroom, desperate to hide the fact that, not only had I had another accident, but I wasn’t wearing the pull-ups she had begun demanding I wear to bed, “So that the whole apartment stops reeking of your piss.”

“Everything okay?” she asked from down the hall as she caught sight of me sprinting to the bathroom.

I slammed the door behind me and frantically began trying to change out of my pee-soaked trousers before she could discover what I had done…

“What are you doing in there?” She asked in a suspicious tone as she knocked on the bathroom door.

“Uhh… nothing!” I squeaked. I began urgently trying to dry the shameful stain in the crotch of my pants and down to my ankle with toilet paper.

Until suddenly…

BAM!

The door flew open—

She had kicked the meager lock right off the wall.

I jumped and turned in shock, still holding my pee-soaked tighty-whities and pathetic wet pants.

She looked me up and down in a mixture of anger and disgust.

I let out a quiet groan.

But my groan was not just from the embarrassment of having been discovered trying to cover up yet another humiliating bedwetting accident…

No, I groaned because I realized that, to my utter horror, she had scared the shit out of me.

Literally.

I suddenly felt a warm, thick mound of shit in the back of my undies, where I had apparently just pooped my pants in terror.

It didn’t help matters that my tummy had already been a little upset that day, but this was still an act so incredibly embarrassing and infantile, I didn’t know I was capable of it. (I suppose I had never faced terror before like the terror of facing her with evidence of an undisclosed accident in my pants.)

“Unbelievable,” she said from the doorway of the bathroom as she stared at my pee-soaked crotch. It was clear she was not yet aware of my ‘rear’ accident.

“It’s bad enough that I apparently can’t trust you to be adult enough to know when you need to wear your nighttime protection, but the fact that you tried to hide your accident from me so that the way I found out is by discovering the smelly stain you left on my couch…”

She trailed off…

And then, to my horror, she wrinkled her nose. She sniffed the air, then sniffed it again.

Suddenly her expression of anger turned to one of absolute revulsion.

“Oh my god, you didn’t…” she seethed. “Turn around,” she commanded.

“No,” I whimpered.

“Turn around, right now!” She ordered.

I didn’t budge, frozen with terror.

She glared at me as I cowered before her.

“So help me…” she muttered as she marched toward me.

She yanked me by the hand, spun me on my feet and pinned me against the wall before I even knew what was happening.

I gasped, watching in the mirror as she inspected, with disgust, the brown load clearly visible in the seat of my previously white underpants.

“You dirty, dirty boy,” she muttered. “You are in big… big trouble.”

And in that moment, even that early on in the process, I knew that our relationship was about to fundamentally change.

The first thing she did, after discovering the poopy accident in my undies, was push my nose into the corner of the bathroom and order me to put my hands on my head.

I tearfully complied, too scared to further invoke her rage, even with the humiliating load still sitting in my undies.

I then realized she was taking pictures of me in my pathetic, humiliating state with her phone. But I was far too defeated to attempt to protest.

She told me not to move a muscle while she prepared some things, then left the bathroom and took the bathroom’s only roll of toilet paper with her, presumably to prevent me from trying to clean myself up before she gave me permission.

She wanted me to stand there wallowing in my humiliating mess, forcing me to feel the full weight of my shameful accident.

I stood there, trembling with the pathetic mess in my pants, for what seemed like nearly an hour.

Every second that passed, I felt more desperate to disobey her, to leave the corner and clean myself up with what ever I could find.

And yet, the idea of her suddenly returning and catching me in the act of disobeying her yet again, terrified me into total compliance.

I breathed a small sigh of relief when I heard her finally return. I had been expecting that she would be holding the supplies necessary to help me clean myself up.

But instead, she suddenly yanked me by the ear and began pulling me out to the living room.

“Sit that dirty little bottom down!” she ordered, pointing to a towel she had laid out on the living room floor in front of the couch.

I felt little choice but to comply. I cringed with disgust and shame as I felt the filthy mess in my tighty-whities smear against my butt cheeks and crotch while I sat down before her.

When I raised my gaze to look at her while she took a seat on the couch, I couldn’t help but feel in awe of her power.

She was wearing her leather mini-skirt, a low cut top, and tall black boots. Her breasts were plump and enticing. Her lips were glistening and red. Her outfit seemed to foreshadow the dominatrix she was to become over me.

And just the act of being forced to witness her absolute beauty while sitting in my filthy, pathetic state, made my humiliation before her take on a sudden new intensity.

“First, it was you failing to keep up with basic adult chores such as doing the dishes or cleaning up your disgusting bedroom,” she began.

“Then, it became even more revolting juvenile behavior, such as me finding your piss on my toilet seat, or having to see disgusting brown skid marks in the underpants you put in our shared laundry.”

I shifted in discomfort as she spoke, which only made the disgusting load press and smear against my crotch even more, filling me with shame and disgust.

“Now, not only do you apparently wet the bed at your age, a shocking fact that I had to learn firsthand from smelling your disgusting pee-soaked bed-sheets from our hallway…

“But you continue to refuse to take even the barest level of responsibility for your pathetic shortcoming by wearing the pull-ups that I already bought for you with my own damn money! Instead, you’ve chosen to soil my furniture through either disrespect or stupidity, I can’t tell!”

I began tearing up, her words cutting through me and humiliating me to the core.

“And now, on top of all that, I find out that you don’t just wet yourself like a pathetic baby… you also poop your pants like one too?”

I blushed even hotter, the humiliating smell of my accident which now permeated the whole room made me want to crawl into a hole and die.

“Well, it’s clear to me now that my patience with your pathetic, infantile behavior has been an absolute waste of my time,” she stated.

“Given that we are still only in the first months of a very long lease we must continue to maintain together, I have decided to solve the ongoing problem your behavior presents for me by taking things into my own hands.

“You have demonstrated the same level of responsibility, respect, and quite frankly mental aptitude, as a toddler going through his terrible-two’s. Therefore, from now on, I will be treating you in the way that you apparently want to be—and certainly need to be—treated.

“That is, I’ve decided that, from now on you will start being treated exactly like the baby you are acting like. And I am going to be… your new Mommy, whether you like it or not,” she said with a stern expression.

I looked up in shock from my humiliating position on the floor. I had never heard anything like this. I opened my mouth to try to protest. “But—”

“It’s not up for discussion, poopy pants,” she declared, cutting me off. “First of all, if you fail to respect my new position of authority, I will share the images of your pathetic poopy accident far and wide. Not to mention the other images I’ve been accumulating of you in your pull-ups at night as well as the other embarrassing messes I’ve come across.”

I was mortified, shuddering at the thought of my current humiliation now following me for the rest of my life on the internet.

“Second, you already know I am far stronger and far smarter than you. I feel that you’ve already given me every reason I need to exact my personal revenge for the hassles you’ve already put me through. Therefore, I will not hesitate to use all means at my disposal to both physically and psychologically subdue and overpower you, if necessary.”

My eyes widened at the sight of her powerful figure. I knew she was proficient in kickboxing from when she was younger, and it didn’t take much imagination to see her easily toppling my scrawny frame and pummeling me into submission if she really wanted to.

“And finally, you pathetic, naughty little stinker, it’s clear that however you were raised, it was without the most crucial skills necessary to being an adult, such as feeding yourself or not pissing your fucking pants. So the sad truth is, you need this from me far more than I need this from you.”

I was speechless. She leaned in and pinched my cheek.

“So that means your new ‘Mommy’ is going to take care of you from now on! Aren’t you lucky, you naughty, naughty little stinker!” She squealed in an over-the top, condescending voice.

I groaned. I couldn’t believe what she was saying to me.

And that was before she even began explaining my new rules…

I still remember every rule she issued to me that day to the letter.

In fact, sometimes, just for fun, she’ll make me recite the full list of my rules in front of guests, delivering a swift swat to my rear every time I stumble or forget one.

So as you can imagine, the rules she explained that day are, by now, etched firmly into my mind…

Rule #1:

You are always, without exception, to be wearing a diaper. That means 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If at any time I discover you without a diaper on, unless of course in the middle of a diaper change or a supervised bath, you will be severely punished.

Rule #2:

You are never, under any circumstances, to remove, tamper with, adjust, untape or interfere with a diaper that you have been put in.

And you are absolutely forbidden from reaching your grubby little hands down the front or rear of your diaper for any reason, especially for any attempts to play with your pathetic, teeny little pecker.

Rule #3:

You are forbidden, under any circumstances, from ever changing your own diaper. Diaper changes will be performed by me or a designated caregiver of my choosing, should I be unavailable.

Rule #4:

You are also forbidden, under any circumstances, from ever asking for a diaper change from me or any other designated caregiver.

Instead, you must wait until you are organically ‘checked’ and ‘discovered’ to be in need of a change.

Asking for a diaper change, or attempting to signal such a request in some other fashion, will be met not only with a mandatory minimum waiting time until your next diaper change, but likely additional punishments as well.

Both rules number 3 and 4 are for the purposes of giving you the authentic, full experience of what it’s really like to pee and poop your pants like a baby.

The goal is for you to truly experience the helplessness and humiliation of both being forced to sit in a soiled diaper, waiting to be changed at your caregiver’s discretion, as well as the intense shame of being forced to expose your mess entirely to your caregiver while she or he changes you.

This is because one of the primary purposes of your diaper punishment is to impress upon you a sincere, long-lasting, deep-seated motivation to actually become potty-trained, should you be so lucky as to have that opportunity again at some point in the future.

Rule #5

Sex and romance for you is now strictly forbidden. You will henceforth be treated like the baby you are, and sex and romantic relationships are only for grown-ups who don’t poop their pants.

Rule #6

And on that note, masturbation is especially forbidden. Any attempts to pleasure yourself in an ‘adult way’ in your diaper is not only truly pathetic, disgraceful, and unsanitary, it will likely be met with a sturdy, locking chastity device, along with a litany of other punishments to follow.

Rule #7

Adult words are now off the table for you.

To clarify, I don’t just mean curse words, although you will be punished to the extreme should you ever be so unfortunate as to be caught uttering one of those.

No, adult language as a whole is now off the table for you. From now on, you are to speak like a two year old.

In general, that means mostly two to three word phrases, a highly limited vocabulary, and lisping when appropriate.

If you need more help learning the specifics of how you are to sound from now on, I’m happy to give you a nice long lesson over my knee, with a nice hard swat to your bum every time you speak in a way that’s inappropriate for your age, so that you can learn as quickly as possible.

Rule #8

On that note, from now on, you are to address me as, ‘Mommy’.

Even though I am not your Mother, you have treated me like I am for far too long, given the way you’ve forced me to deal with your infantile messes and accidents.

Therefore, it’s time for you to finally at least start giving me the respect of the position by calling me by the title of ‘Mommy’ going forward.

Rule #9

You are to obey me, and anyone else I ever assign to your care, utterly and completely.

Any semblance of back-talk, disagreement, whining or fussing regarding any decision, rule or demand that I ever should make of you, no matter how unpleasant, humiliating, or degrading you find it, will swiftly be met with severe and unrelenting punishment until you learn and accept the nature of your new role.

Rule #10

And finally, at the end of every day, before you go to sleep, you are to sincerely express your heartfelt thanks to me for everything I do for you by reciting the following words to me with your thumb planted firmly in your mouth…

“Thank you, Mommy, for changing my poopy diapers every day. I’m sorry I’m such a pathetic, naughty, diaper-wearing stinker. And thank you, Mommy, for punishing me in all the ways that I deserve, as I know your punishments are the only way I can learn how to be less of a filthy, naughty, stinker going forward.”

As you can imagine, by the time she had finished issuing all ten of her rules for the first time, my head was spinning.

At first, I doubted she would follow through with this insane plan. How could she? It all seemed so over the top.

But boy was I wrong…

_______

Buy now to read the rest of this full length novel!

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https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087C3FQ11

[theatreslave]

I don't know why I'm writing this.

But I'm the lowest I've been in awhile.

I was alone at work yesterday, my boss out sick with her kid. Hours spent alone. Waiting on calls and emails. Sending messages on my phone to men on dating apps who don't care about me. Sending distant messages to my best friend a state over.

I realized that my phone, the contacts, are full of people who haven't spoken to me in days, weeks, months. some even years. Why do I keep their numbers? Maybe I hope one day they will remember me.

I went home and got dressed for the gym. But I didn't want to pretend to be ok around all those people. I also didn't want to be the fat girl crying at the gym. So I laid down on my living room floor and listened to the silence.

My parents were out, at a casino, for the 100th time it seemed. My mother still can't say no to my father. He throws away what little retirement money he has, complains about losing, and then expects me to help.

Neither of them know I had a different man in my bed last night. Someone they would never meet and someone I probably won't see again. They don't know that I don't know how to look for love without giving my body away. So many hands have touched this body but so few have meant it out of love. Maybe none.

I laid on that floor and felt my fingertips, palms, wrists, forearms, biceps, back, thighs, calves, feet and toes. But back to my wrists. My Wrists my wrists my wrists and I imagine how my mother's cutco knife would so easily slice through my skin and for a second I could feel it.

I wept, I curled into a ball on that floor and felt the loneliness bubble to the surface and drown me. I grasped at the floor for something to keep me here. My own breathing scared me. I had no one who would come running if I told them I needed them.

I told the boy I wished would talk more that it wouldn't be his fault when he finds out what happened to me. There was nothing wrong with him. He just wasn't giving enough to me. To someone who needed a stronger hand to keep me here.

My nose was stuffed shut and running. I couldn't see through my tears while I walked to my kitchen and pulled out the knife I had imagined. I looked at it's sharp edge and cried harder. I gripped it in a fist and before I could draw blood and threw it down on the counter and fell to my knees. In my mind I saw myself on the floor, surrounded by blood, and finally at rest.

But my grandma came out of here room and I rushed back into the living room and threw myself face down on my couch. I told her I was trying to nap when she asked. I got angry when she asked about the cats dinner, she had forgotten that she had watched me feed them an hour earlier. I cursed her silently for asking me if I wanted to heat up the rice for dinner.

When she shut herself behind her door I stood up again. I walked to the kitchen and took the knife with me to my bedroom. I laid in bed with it in my hands in the dark. I was sobbing. Loneliness must hurt worse than a knife piercing skin, I thought. It had to be. If I locked the door then my grandma wouldn't find me until maybe morning. My parents would probably assume I was asleep and not check until they don't hear me shuffling around for work in the morning.

I wonder how they would regret leaving me alone. I wonder how they would regret making me feel like a child. The sharp edge of the knife against my palm, nearly breaks skin and i drop it to the bed. I can't breathe through my nose again. So I drag myself out of my messy bed and sit at the dresser.

I turn on the vanity light and look into the eyes of my reflection. Eyes bloodshot and swollen and pathetic. I grab the thin brown tissues and try to free my airways. Still watching my sadness in bright light reflecting back at me.

Then I start to pick at all the scabs and pimples I can find on my face. I tear at the wart I've been trying to rid myself of for months. I try to make it hurt more than usual as I pull at my skin. Maybe this pain will be enough to not turn back to the knife. But I'm still crying. I'm angry now. Angry that I am still here when I had been talked out of ending it so many times.

I remember that my bestfriend told me that if I didn't call him before I killed myself he would haunt me in reverse. So I call him. I put the call on speaker and lay in darkness in my bed, gripping the knife handle. He answers and I don't speak. He asks again for me and I don't have the will to respond. He thinks the call is dropped or wrong. He hangs up and calls me. I answer on speaker again and I don't want to reply. But I do.

And I weep. I cry. I tell him how tired I am. I tell him I have a knife. I tell him I'm so tired of being alone. Of having no one. I'm so sad that he isn't even here to physically stop me. I tell him I called because he made me promise to call him before I do it. He tries to joke but I know he is scared. I lay the knife down but he still knows its there.

I don't remember what all we talked about. He tries to distract me with topics that are the opposite of detached and boring. He tries to get a rise out of me. He listens to me rid myself of the built up mess of my tears and my stuffed nose. He doesn't comment on it. He's heard me like this before. I know it scares him. He doesn't know how much I appreciate him for not leaving me. For not abandoning me.

It's dark outside and I haven't eaten since noon. I don't want to eat but he convinces me to order something even if I don't eat it. I tell him when my parents are gone I order using my mums card, like a little bit of payback for choosing a sin over being with me. But I don't blame them. Not really. I never know when days like this will come. I cannot warn them. I cannot beg for them to be there when I need them because I don't know when I will.

He stays on the line while I wait for my food. I had filled and emptied my door dash cart several times and decided on food that I wasn't really interested in. He hears me get up and I put the knife away. He still asks if I did or not. He knows I know how to lie.

But I'm good this time. I put it away. I sit on the couch, half listening to whatever he says while thinking about how disappointed I am that I'm not bleeding. The food arrives and he says goodbye. He tells me he appreciates me. He tells me he loves me. He tells me to text him when I wake up in the morning. I know he needs to know that I didn't change my mind when he hangs up.

The guy from earlier messages me and asks if I'm ok. Asks why I never mentioned my depression when we hung out. I tell him I don't feel it when I have someone with me. That I wanted him to be there but he's too distant. he says he cares and I don't believe him. No one has given me a reason to believe men who only text me when they want to see me.

I make myself eat the rolled tacos, covered in cheese and lettuce and meat and sour cream. I add the home made pico de gallo from my lunch that I never ate. I try to make myself feel better about all the calories now that I am ravenous. I eat it all. 5 tacos. They aren't that good. They are dry and I wish there was more meat. I wish I had bought something different. But I chose this because it was cheap even though I had made my mum pay for it.

I distract my eyes with a podcast that makes me laugh on my normal days. It keeps my attention enough to not aimlessly scroll on dating apps hoping for something and someone that won't come.

I feel sick. I feel too full. I make myself drink soda and water and not throw up. I change out of the gym clothes that didn't get to serve their purpose. My cats circle and I take them to the rooms they sleep in. I wash my face and make sure the water is cold. Hoping it will remind me what being alive feels like.

I hate myself for not showering like I planned. I feel like my hair is made of oil and my skin stinks. It probably doesn't but it's still another failure. I put on my cpap and lay in bed, window open, fan on, trying to find sleep. I toss and turn and feel like i'm being punished for letting myself feel this sad. I hear my parents come home. I can see the light in the hallway illuminate the outline of my door.

I wonder if I locked it. I wonder if my parents will check on me. Their grown but still a child daughter. They don't. They go to bed and don't bother. They trust me more than they should.

Now I know that they wouldn't have found me until the next morning. It is not comforting. I am uncomfortable and feel like my skin is too warm. I want to sleep. I'm so tired. I just want to sleep. I wish someone would hold me here. Hold me so I don't try to disappear.

I count fingers. I count sheep. I feel how crooked my shoulders are. I feel how dry my feet are. My cat swats at my ankles when I get too close. God please let me sleep. I don't know when I stopped counting.

I woke up late this morning. I made myself shower, hoping I will feel alive enough to not cry in front of my parents. They don't notice that I am more quiet than usual.

Now I'm here. 'working' my head has been pounding and I know I'm dehydrated. But spelling this all out is all I can think about. I hope it will make me feel better. But i'm aware I'm skipping lunch. I should eat. I live from meal to meal it seems.

I don't know why I'm still here.

I want to disappear.

I already don't exist.

I want it all to end.

But I have a kindle coming in the mail today.

I should use it at least before I go.

[mostlymalena]

August 25th 2024 11:38pm

Our landlord finally fixed our hot water today! Such a relief since it's been over a week since me and Jo took a hot shower in our own house. I spent most of my day yesterday at Lala's which was nice. She always brings me such joy and can make me laugh. We played lots of games and I even took a small nap.

Work has been so good I'm finally catching up on my LP's and ppc campaign build outs. I love my job so much!

My sweet apple and I are enjoying the time I have left. 50 something days which is hard to swallow. It's not like I'll be gone forever just 4 something months. It's nice to have something easy and well, nice. No pressure and very relaxed, mostly.

I have been hanging up pictures and art around the house and I have also started drawing again. Something about life right now is making me feel creative. Tonight I made ramen for the family and Ethan came over and we drew a little and I made brownies. He is my very very best friend.

Saturday I went out with the whole gang and a local girl who I have spoken too maybe ONCE approached me and demanded I tell her why I unfollowed her on instagram and removed her as a follower. I told her what I typed on this very blog" I don't fuck with you". She then proceeded to ask why and it got a little heated. I was steered away but it unfortunately creeped me out a lot. This girl has never had one full conversation with me. She acted like I owed her something. I wasn't sure and still am not sure what her goal was in coming at me like that. Her and my ex were posting each other before I washed away most of my followers in my social media cleansing, so maybe it has something to do with that? I'm not sure.

Why does that matter so much. I feel like she only followed me to report back to others or to find something to bad mouth. It was so fucking WEIRD. She should feel embarrassed.

This week I am having lunch with my old friend Nat who just bought a house in wilmy. I havent seen her in 4 years now so that will be exciting. I am also meeting with a family lawyer to start the prosecution process for the person who made the false CPS report.

Fall has woven its thread into the air. It smells like devotion and the death of a careless summer. Surf might be good this week and my old friend Juliet might come to town soon and we will surf as well.

I am very happy right now. Life seems perfect with my family and friends and my little house and my front porch that is always warm.

Ive become very smitten and a strange but not unwelcome peace has settled over everything. I'm hoping the autumn leaves that fall down cover the memories of summer and bury them. Spring will bring fresh blossoms and the promise of never seeing her around town ever again. It is something I dread but it is something I look forward too more. At this point it feels more like surviving her than getting over her.

I think this Adam from the Bible character has become the apple of both of my eyes. It's just so easy going. I think it helps that I'm leaving so nothing is serious, I still mourn and he just listens.

But things are different for me now. The CPS thing broke something inside me I thought was a solid thing.

I must rest now and write a bit of poetry. I took all the love I had for her and used it to fall in love with my life. I feel real. I feel like everything is okay. I feel right and that is a little scary but I'm so grateful for it all.

[theoracleofgiana]

Meeting Again

(Main Story; Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)

(Tw: creepy behavior, sickness?) 

(The Forest, Corena Port)

Johanna is napping in a tree when someone's voice wakes her up. She startles but keeps her balance. Peering over the side of the branch, she sighs at the sight of a blonde man standing a few feet away. Hoping he didn't notice her, Johanna moves to be flush with the branch. She wills the man to leave with all her might. Unfortunately, the universe has other plans. 

"Ah, Miss Johanna!" The man's voice is too close for comfort. "What are you doing up a tree?" Realizing she has no choice but to respond, Johanna sighs. "I was takin' a nap," She says as she slips down the branch. She looks at the man and slightly tilts her head in confusion. "Who are ye?" She asks, not actually wanting an answer. The man looks hurt for a moment but quickly recovers. "I'm Emir. You saved me yesterday," The boy starts to seem vaguely familiar as he speaks. Johanna still couldn't care less. 

"Look, I only saved ye 'cause I was bored. Ye don't needs to thank me or anythin' like that. I prefer to be alone," Johanna glares at Emir, hoping to scare him off. Emir brushes it off and walks closer to the young woman. "I don't believe that. I think you saved me for a reason," His smile sends a chill down Johanna's spine. Her brain starts to go into overdrive, screaming that she needs to run. "w-wha' makes ye reckon that?" Johanna frowns at her stuttering. 

The boy reaches out his hand and caresses the pirate's cheek. "I think you saved me because you love me," He says softly. Johanna can't take it and kicks the man. She had been trying to be polite, but this was too creepy. As Emir doubles over in pain, she takes the opportunity to run. She heads into town and to the docks. Johanna's mind is full of a million thoughts, but getting somewhere safe stands out the most. 

Hawthorne is shocked by his daughter's arms suddenly around him. He doesn't say a word,  holds the girl, and rubs her back soothingly. The rest of the crew leaves the two alone, most unsure how to feel about the captain acting soft. Hawthorne doesn't care and focuses on his daughter's shaking form. He wonders what made her so afraid but doesn't dare ask. 

It takes three days before Johanna leaves the ship again. Tresella has to do a double-take when the woman walks in. While she doesn't look much different, maybe a bit more on edge, the strange thing was her without Hawthorne. "Where's yer father, wee one?" The demon woman asks, trying not to sound too disappointed. Johanna looks a little startled by her voice but quickly recovers. "He's- Well, he's nah doin' well," Her voice is soft and sad. "Oh no, wha' happened, wee one?" Tresella asks gently. Johanna explains Hawthorne's deteriorating health and how she feared it was yellow fever. Tresella pales as the girl lists off the symptoms her father has. "I believe ye're right. However, I don't 'ave anythin' that can help," Johanna's heart falls with the demon's words. "Come on, Tresella, ye must 'ave somethin'," The girl's pleas are met with a guilty look. "I be sorry Jo, but the only thing that may help 'im can only be brought if ye're a noble," Tresella gives Johanna a pitying look. Johanna scoffs at the demon's words. "Doubloons ain't a problem, I'ave more than enough," She tells Tresella, annoyance filling her tone.  

"I mean, they wouldna even sell it t' me," Johanna's heart breaks again. There was nothing they could do. If they wouldn't even sell the cure to Tresella, what chance did a known pirate like her have? The bell on the door rings, but Johanna barely notices. She focuses on not crying and telling herself that it will be alright. "Ms. Tresella, Johanna, Is everything okay?" Johanna freezes and slowly turns to face the voice. There Emir stands, looking confused and concerned. "Emir, ahoy," Tresella greets the man casually. The blond gives her a nod before looking at Johanna. "What's going on?" 

(A/n: I'm sorry it took so long! It's really hard to write Emir and the whole situation that happens)

[dilf-whore]

hi, can you write a steve x fem! reader. Where Steve and reader are together but reader is insecure with how Steve and Nancy interact with each other. And she is very hurt when she hears Steve tell to Nancy that he want children in the RV. She became distant and when they go in the Upside down he tell her that it's with her he want that. Thank you ! I really love your writing!

only you

pairing: steve harrington x f!reader

genre: established relationship!, angst, fluff

warnings: skin-picking, anxiety (?)

A/N: okay i’m not sure if i did this request well landksmak please send me your feedbacks 😫 and i’m really sorry for posting this now when i just said that it’ll be posted yesterday.

requested: yes

requests are OPEN

masterlist

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

“Drive!“

You all scream as the old couple were banging at their RV, telling you to get out. A wave of adrenaline rushes through Steve’s body and steps on the gas, causing all of you to stumble back by the sudden movement. “Ow!” you exclaim, putting a hand on the side of your head that just hit the vehicle’s window.

Steve turns back to face you, “are you okay?” he asks worried. You lean on Robin and she rubs your head softly, “uh yeah I’m good” you reply. He sighs in relief and brings his eyes back on the road.

He finally drives smoothly, slowing down after losing the couple running after their vehicle and home that you just stole.

You suddenly hear an incoherent voice, you look in front and see Nancy talking to Steve. You shift your position to hear them better, you pick on the skin around your pointer finger as you start to feel uneasy while you anticipate what your boyfriend has to say.

“It’s silly, but I-I’ve actually, I always had this dream that I’d have this really really big family” he says, Nancy looking at him with a soft smile on her face. Your breath hitches and your skin-picking gets more intense at the sight. “I’m talking, like, uh, a full brood of Harringtons. Like five, six kids” he adds.

“Six?” Nancy questions, a shock look plastered on her face. “Yeah. Six little nuggets. Three girls, three boys” he replies, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

You view gets blurry as tears form in your eyes, you quickly wipe them away and lean on Robin’s shoulder. She takes your hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze, she noticed how off you’ve been the whole day - already knowing it’s about Steve and Nancy. He still loves her you thought.

A single tear suddenly rolled down your cheek and you immediately took your jacket off and put it over your face, making it seem like you wanted to take a nap. You feel your throat closing up, tears now streaming down your face like a river. You put a hand under your jacket to cover your mouth and stop the sobs from escaping.

You couldn’t handle it any longer, your fears and insecurities have gotten stronger and are now taking over you. Devouring you whole - making you feel small, weak, and worthless. You let out a huge shaky exhale as your surpressed sobs are choking you lightly.

Only Robin knew how you feel about Steve and Nancy. He asked you before if it’s okay to be friends with Nancy and you assured him that it was totally fine, even you yourself are good friends with her. She’s a great friend and just an amazing person in general but you can’t help but feel uncomfortable when you see them together. Maybe because she was the first person he ever loved and adored, how he tried winning her back a few times before, how much he cried all night when they broke up. You often feel like a back-up.

You never told Steve even if Robin encourages you to do so, how could you tell him anyways? He treats you so well and has been nothing but kind, caring, and loving to you. All of these are just in your head, mostly from your worries and you didn’t wanna seem like a toxic bitch since it makes you feel like you’re telling him to stay away from Nancy if you ever confronted him about this. So you decided to keep them to yourself.

But now, they’ve escaped.

Emotions exploding as your bottle of unspoken feelings is full and could no longer take in some more. The past few days has been long, terrifying, and dreadful for not just you, but for all of your friends. Steve and Nancy have been talking to each other more often than you with him - just like now, they’re seated together at the front, talking about their futures: applying for their dream school, getting a job, having a family. He probably wants those six kids with Nancy.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Going back to Eddie’s trailer, you all go through your plan once again and talk about what to do if it backfires. The rest of your friends climb to the Upside Down, leaving you and Steve behind.

Steve pats his thigh, motioning you to step on him. You nod and place your foot on him, you grab the rope and you start to climb, and Steve holding you by the back of your leg - preparing to catch you if you fall.

You then land on the mattress and Steve follows soon after.

You all start to head out but Steve holds your wrist firmly, causing you to turn back to him in confusion “Can you guys leave us for a sec?” He tells your friends. Robin gives you a concerned look before she gets out of the trailer with the rest.

“Are you okay?” Steve asks. “Y-yeah” you reply, looking at the trailer’s door to avoid his concerned gaze. Steve places his hands on your arms, “don’t lie to me. You’ve been so distant and your eyes were swollen a while ago, you cried. Please tell me what’s wrong” he pulls you closer to him and holds your chin with his thumb and index finger to face him.

“Do you really wanna be with me?” You blurt out, hot tears immediately stream down your face. Your body trembling lightly and you pick on your skin again as you start feel fear and worry of what he’s gonna answer.

Will he say yes or no?

“Of course I wanna be with you. I love you so much Y/N. Where is this coming from?”

“I-I just thought that maybe you s-still want Nancy. You guys have been talking a lot lately and I just, I don’t know, I can’t help but feel like I’m n-not enough. I’ve been feeling like this for a long- I, uh, you know what? it’s so stupid, I-I’m sorry” you reply, instantly regretting what you just said. Pathetic.

“For a long time? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t wanna be a bad girlfriend, i-it’s just all on me anyways. You didn’t do anything wrong, My insecurities just got the best of me. I’m really sorry”

Steve pulls you into a hug and burrows his face on your shoulder, you could feel your shirt getting wet - he’s crying too. “No please don’t apologize. I’m sorry I made you feel this way, I should’ve been there for you more so you’d feel more comfortable to open up. You are enough okay?” he pulls away and wipes his tears, “You’re the only one I want. I always see myself spending the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you, have a family with you, and do everything with you” he adds.

Your body starts to relax and you let out a few more sobs. You try to catch your breath as you calm yourself down, you’re finally at ease. “So you want those six kids with me?”

“Yes, I want you to be the mother of my kids and be my wife someday”

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

[haechanokeh]

I'm Right For You [pt.2 ]

[teaser/ prologue] [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ]

(you can play Die For You by The Weeknd while reading this 😌)

pairing: popular college! mark x average! reader

genre: romance, smut, angst, series.

warning (chapter): handjob, public, fingering,

warning: corruption, oral sex (both receiving and giving), cream pie, rough sex, anal sex, mention of religion, rough sex, self-esteem, psychology, public sex, sub! reader, sex toys. possessive mark two-faced mark

I think I'm right for you, babe. You know what I'm thinking, see it in your eyes. You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry. It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect and I know that you're worth it I can't walk away. (Die for you by The Weeknd)

class ended and you're packing your things, and so your seatmate for today- mark.

"mark, do you want to eat with us?" your other classmates always invite mark.

"sure, wait. Do you want to eat with-"

you carry your bag and immediately left the room. he's the last person you want to be with, after what happened yesterday. mark confessed that he likes you and now you just can't talk to him.

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you're in the library trying to be "productive" and pretending to be "studious". you tied your hair, hyping yourself that you will study but 3 minutes after opening your thick pharmacology book, you took a nap.

mark entered the almost empty library. there's a lot of vacant tables and chairs but he's looking for the best spot, until he saw your sleeping face... from a far. mark has a keen eyes, especially when it comes to you. he walked towards your place and carefully sat beside you cautious in his movements to prevent waking you up. he put his bag on the vacant seat beside him and turned his head on you. you're squished side of your face against the table made him smile. lying at his classmates is worth it.

unaware of your surrounding, you didn't know mark was now sitting beside you. he saw your book was opened in diuretics chapter so he opened his own book at the same page as yours. he started writing notes, for you.

mark likes you but he's having a hard time to get close to you. not sure but he thinks that you're avoiding him, you immediately dismisses his presence when he's approaching you. you weren't rude when you do that though, you just speak very shortly with him. mark doesn't have a concrete reason why he likes you, but everytime he looks at your serine personally and your innocent face t brings him calmness. sometimes he just catching himself staring at you during class.

after he wrote the key points, he transferred all the sticky notes on the pad. he clicked the pen and look at you.

"you're still sleeping, wow." he whispered but with amusement. you're sleeping for 2 hours already. his eyes landed on your slightly parted plump lips.

dirty thoughts running in his head. he imagined your lips wrapped around his dick. yeah, the mark everyone look up to thinks like this towards you. he's not like this to anyone except you, he was also shock to on the effects you give him. mark was afraid you became an obsession, well too late for that.

he removed your specs, folded it and put it on the top of the table. he just watches you sleep, not caring whether other find it creepy.

suddenly your phone alarmed, you woke up immediately and to your panic you can't find your phone which was actually just infront of you, so mark was the one who off your alarm. you turn your head to look at him.

"thank you." you gave him an awkward smile. you look around and you saw from afar the librarian was glaring at you. you gave her an apologetic face and she returned to her seat.

he extended his arms and his thumb touched the side of your lips down to your chin. you felt a burning sensation from his thumb.

"welcome." he gave you his signature warm friendly smile.

you look down because you felt uncomfortable once again. your eyes caught a wet pool on the book, later you realize that mark wiped your drool. heat of embarrassment took over your face.

"let's eat?" he asked, lowering his face and moving it close to you. he wanted you to see his face, which you did. you're heart beating so fucking fast.

"i have to study." you said as an alibi.

"really?" he was unconvinced and playfully gave you a doubt look.

study my ass! I JUST WOKE UP!

"tomorrow is the case study, aren't we supposed to study together?" he sat up straight.

"we already did yes-" suddenly, his confession popped out from your head. "yesterday." you whispered, a ball of saliva almost stuck on your throat.

"really? i really don’t recall anything though.” he pretend to be naive. your eyes widen.

“you can’t remember anything? that’s impossible, you even confess to me... i mean...” shame crossed in you. please, swallow me my dear land. "mark, please let me study. i'm not like you."

he chuckled. "okay, but use my notes. here." he pushed towards you the notes he did while you were sleeping. your eyes gleamed like a sun.

"really?" you said excitedly.

"shhh!" you heard the librarian, you covered your mouth.

"really?" you asked again as confirmation. he giggled and nodded his head.

he admiringly stared at you goshing over his notes, he felt a weird sensation in his heart. mark was smiling like an idiot, this was his first time to see you smiling or happy when he’s around.

"thank you mark for saving me." you definitely forget the awkwardness between you. you looked at him sending him gratitude look.

without any words, you excitedly study his note. you're so oblivious that you didn't notice mark placed his hand on your thigh. horniness strike him.

your concentration broke when he squeezed your thigh. you turned your head to face him, there was uneasiness in your stomach when you face him again. the other mark that melt your knees.

he moved his face closer and whispered in your ears.

"y/n, i had a hard time sleeping last night. you know why?"

"why?" voice shaking and hands are sweaty while you're holding his notes.

"you never left my head, you kept on bothering me. i fantasize you last night, crying and begging to suck my dick with your small mouth and juicy lips." he huskily said and gripped your thigh tighter.

you squeezed your thighs together as you felt ache on your pussy. your breathing became ragged, chest rose heavily. you stare in those dark-lustful pair of eyes.

"i was horny last night, like what i'm feeling right now." his eyes glued in your lips.

he reached for your right hand and guided it to his hard cock. you gasped, and in surprise you take away your hand from his hardness but mark caught you and put it back.

"can you feel how hard i am right now? do you know how painful is it for me?" he grunted low. his lips touches your every time he speaks. "i need your help, y/n please." there was urgency in his voice.

"h-ow?" stuttering because of nervousness but with hidden excitement.

you heard a zipped sound. you look down and his hard flesh peeking through his boxers. he pulled it down revealing his standing cock. you almost drool, it's thick, veiny, and long. he planted a small kiss on your ears and folded your hands wrapping it around his dick. your lips parted letting out a breath.

his dick was hot, hard, and has a lot of texture- you can feel his vein. you don't believe that when a guy's hands are veiny, and so their cock... but mark is the living statement.

"move." he commanded. you pushed down your palm around his cock, and start pumping it slowly.

"like this?" you asked innocently.

mark saw your submissive look again, doll-like eyes shinning with innocence but full of lust.

"yes, baby. fuck faster, you're doing great." he complimented you, teeth gritting. he put his left arm across your shoulder and his other arm resting on the table.

both of you didn't care whether you're about to get caught or not. you enjoy the playful desires you share with each other. he smashed his lips to your soft lips. tongue caressing each other but careful not to produce noises. you're pumping him hard and fast, you felt cramp in your wrist but didn't stop. his hands formed into fist, knuckled getting white.

he moaned inside your mouth when he reach his climax. you felt the hot sticky liquid on your hands. you broke the kiss and look down to see what does it look like to have his cum on your hand. your eyes looked up and gaze into his eyes, he saw guilt, regret, and shame.

“what am i doing mark?” you bit your lower lip and your eyes watering. you know this is wrong, but when you’re with him all the rationality in you just evaporates. you became terrified of what you became and what you will have become. “what are you turning me into?”

mark was satisfied when he heard that coming out from your mouth, that means he has effect to you. he knew, because he felt the same from you.

“same goes to me, y/n. don’t you get it there’s something bet-” he was cut off when there were tiny voices. both of you turned your head towards the library entrance and there were bunch of seniors coming in. mark quickly zipped his pants and you wipe his cum on his black sweatshirt. you both looked at each other, you just realize what you did.

“i’m sorry.” you whispered and shoved your head against the book. he snickered on your cuteness and clumsiness.

“hey mark.” you froze when the girl seniors approached mark. you stay still, face against the book.

“oh, hi.” he greeted back, giving them a forced smile.

“i saw them on the pizza house, i thought you’re there? i was about to go. good thing you’re here.” she said and you heard some chairs being pulled out.

I need to go fudge, this is probably why i don’t like mark, he’s surrounded by people. knowing you, you’re allergic to people.

you stood up and gather your things.

“where are you going?” mark asked in curiosity and confusion while watching you.

“hmm?” you look at him and carried your back and book. the seniors were staring at you too. “oh, my mom said i have to go for groceries, heheeh empty fridge.” you LIED again. his brow rose.

he was looking at you but not in your face though and you have no time to pay attention to that.

“again? yesterday you went-” you did not let him finish.

“i have to go bye!”

“SHHH!” 

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

you couldn't ignore your wetness beneath you. you were having a hard time walking because of the weird feeling and you felt discomfort on your abdomen part. obviously, you're horny and you knew that. you quickly turned to the right corner to use the girl's comfort room. you masturbate especially everytime you watch porn, and you badly need to masturbate right now without watching porn. you entered one of the cubicle and when you were about to close it, a hand appeared stopping the door.

mark?

he stepped inside the cubicle which made you step back , the behind of your knees touched the toilet seat. you heard and clicked sound, he closed the door.

“wait, weren’t you...” you were speechless as you point your finger outside but you were actually pertaining to the library.

why the hell is he everywhere? does he have roller blades on his feet?

"i can smell you." he said looking down, you were curious of what he was looking at but you were offended from his statement.

"excuse me?" you scoffed.

"you were standing infront of me before you leave me, too close and i'm not sure if that's the smell because it was my first time but..." he gaze straight into your eyes. he palmed your pussy which made you yelp. "it was sweet and erotic, are you horny right now?"

you gulped in embarrassment, you want to be swallowed whole by the soil. you were that wet from giving him a handjob!

"were you planning to masturbate?" his eyes switched into dark and dominating. you wonder, how can he guess everything right?

his palmed between your legs made it hard for you to control your desire. you grabbed his wrist.

"i need to cum." you gave him your pleading eyes.

your pleading sweet voice and eyes, and the way you say the word cum went straight into his dick. he never expected that word to come out from your mouth. when it did, he want to grant you.

"you're so special." he whispered. he unzipped your jeans and pulled it down above your knees which slightly made him annoyed because it was hard to pull it down. he gave your dump panty and glance because he can smell it, it wasn't a bad smell it was the opposite. it was sweet, very aromatic.

you just watch him while holding on his shoulder for balance. he stood up straight. you where biting your lips while staring at his handsome face through your lashes.

"mark..." you murmur as you were growing impatient. mark chuckled.

"okay, baby." he called you baby, and your heart lifted... and so as your right leg using his left arm. he hang your leg on his arm.

"what are you doing?" he didn't answer you.

he palmed your already sticky and wet pussy which made you bite your lower lip. he rubbed it in circular motion, you suppressed your moan because goodness it feels so good but you're afraid someone will hear you. he pulled your panty aside and rubbed your slit and clit, hard but slowly. your eyes were squeezing shut and enjoy the feeling. his lips pay attention on your jaw.

"mark, i want to cu- go. please." you whimpered.

he inserted his two finger and started to thrust it inside you while his thumb were flatly rubbing your clit.

"ah... hmmm" you couldn't suppress your moan anymore. "it feels so good." you cried and throw your head back gripping mark shoulder.

mark switched his attention from your jaw to your neck, licking and kissing it. he started to fasten the pace. your were producing a squelching sound.

"please, please, please i need to cum... oh f- yes yes." your eyes rolled back, you almost saw your brains. your legs felt tension causing your leg being lifted to flex straight, toes folded.

"are you cumming now, y/n? hmm?" he said against your neck. you nodded aggressively.

"i'm so close, so close" you were mewling. "ahh!" you clenched mark's fingers and produced a long cry when you finally reached your climax.

you became weak, your limbs became jelly. you were about to fall, good thing mark catched you before that happened. your arms have no energy to hold onto mark.

"are you okay?" mark genuinely asked. "did i overdo it?" growing concern feed him.

you shook your head, head empty, and catching your breath. you have low stamina, this already made you almost pass out? what more if he fuck you?

you shook your heard want to remove those perverted thoughts, and why the hell you thought of mark?

"seat down y/n." he made you seat on the toilet. suddenly, your phone rang. mark, without hesitation looked for your phone inside your bag. he looked at the name. "your mom." he cleared his throught and was about to answer but you quickly snatched it.

there's no way you want your mom to hear a male voice.

"mom?" you answered through your heavy breathing.

"y/n? why are you panting? are you okay?"

"ah, y-yes. i just ran from ahm nevermind i just ran that's it. why are you calling me?" mark intently watching you.

"oh, i forgot a file in our house, it's on top of my table, bring it here, okay?" she asked for your favor.

"yes." you sighed. your mom always forget something.

"okay, love you!" and she hang up.

you stood up. you look down as you felt your stickiness between your legs. you just pulled up your underware and pants.

"i need to go home, i'll go out first and make sure the coat is clear then you'll go out. okay?" you were still panting, catching your breath.

"i can drive you home." he said. there goes again, the warmth in his eyes. you were staring each other, mark looked so determined.

"promise me you will not do anything. i have no energy, mark." you sighed in defeat.

he laughed and pinched your cheek.

"sure." he said, smiling but deep inside he was disappointed. might not be visible because his sweatshirt was covering it, but he is painfully hard right now.

[hollyjollybaby]

These summer days are just so much fun. We’re feeling that massive heatwave and it’s been over 100 with the humidity every day this week, but last weekend I grabbed an amazing 10ft inflatable pool for $35 and we have basically been using it all day every day. We go out after breakfast, come back in for lunch and nap, and then go right back out. It’s been soo good for Holly bc she’s at her best self when she’s outside lol. Even though it’s still hot af it feels muuuch better in the pool and she likes me to get all the way in and sit down and splash around with her. It’s been tons of fun and so worth $35. She just discovered splashing me 🙃 lol

Yesterday we saw our 10, 11, and 12th houses. We were this 🤏🏼 close to putting in an offer on a new build, still early in the construction phase, and then Jake learned of the federal rate increase to a high 5.something? I just let him tell me about the numbers and stuff tbh but it scared him enough to make him want to call his guy at the bank and make sure we could still afford to make this offer. So we didn’t sign the offer. Today he called the guy SEVEN times and he never answered or returned the calls/messages. And we were talking today when he got home like, is this just a bad time? Is the universe telling us to stay put this year and focus on building savings more/fixing up things at this house?

Honestly it would kind of be a relief to take a break on looking and even though our house is old (1965) and has old house issues, I love it dearly, it’s the house we lived in when we went from boyfriend/girlfriend to fiancés, then married, then brought our baby home to. We’ve never painted any rooms except the nursery, which we spent tonsss of time on and is my favorite room ever. It’s so pretty and full of natural light. So it would be nice to stay another year I guess.

In Holly news, she started tumbling class last week! The first class was pretty rough, she didn’t want to participate and tantrumed more than half the time, but we persevered lol. I took her back this Tuesday and she did SO MUCH better!!! She was running around being silly and engaging with the teacher, giggling and smiling at her, and hanging out close to some other little girls. She cried a little maybe 10% of the time compared to last week. I’m so proud of her for making so much progress in a week 🥰 I think over the next 6 weeks she’ll really grow to love the class. It is a lot of fun actually. She’s obsessed with flipping and being upside down and balancing on stuff at home, it’s just a matter of getting her to translate those skills into a totally different environment 😅 also she starts PRESCHOOL in 68 days 😭

Jake has next week off, he took time off for his birthday. I have some funny t-shirts and a little photo gift for Father’s Day/his bday, but nothing big per his request. I told him to think of somewhere he’d like to go/do as a family during his 9 days off, but he hasn’t come up with anything, which is definitely because he wants to stay home the home time lmao.

Alright I think that’s all I have for now 😂 I wish I could update this space more frequently with smaller posts but apparently it’s the opposite!

[heartfucksmouth]

I've barely been in my body today bc of the amount of pain I'm in. I said to myles "it's crazy how last week I was happy and motivated and active and productive and now that's all gone and I'm a miserable groaning zombie"

had an eye appointment, got my eyes numbed and dilated and measured and "photographed" (idk what the imaging is called but it's a fancy machine and I like it) and the doctor who lasered my retinal tear 3 years ago examined my eyeballs a bunch and firmly ruled out that any flashes of light I'm seeing are from my eyes themselves.

I got a clean bill of eyeball health, they look great and my surgical area still looks awesome, which I was all very happy to hear! that rules some stuff out and I can focus on my symptoms being neurological in nature. my migraines/auras/symptoms have been getting more difficult to stay classified in neat little boxes and I'd rather rule out everything I can, when I can.

my right ovary is currently trying to explode out of my body again and my whole right hip wants to tear out of the socket, so I'm having a lovely time. I already took a 2 hour nap in between watching poor Eloise - who has kennel cough and is on meds including prednisone which is making her even more of a reactive freak.

yesterday she took over resource guarding my shoes and I had to walk back home barefoot and return with sneakers lol. the poor thing is so disoriented and looks at me like she doesn't even know me, I'm so sad bc I raised her from a tiny baby and I used to get cuddles all the time! now I have to ask her if I can have "touchies" before I pet her waaahhhh. but - I understand - being constantly sick for 9 months of your life, always at the vet being poked at and things getting taken away and medicine making you feel yuckier than you already do etc etc etc,

Good God, Eloise (said in a wee old Irish person accent), I understand your plight. Poor girl is gonna be a year old next month and she hasn't even gone two full weeks without being sick between food allergies, bouts of giardia, eating things she shouldn't off the ground including a plastic bag basically the size of her, and now two servings of kennel cough. unbelievable. I'd be conflict-aggressive too.

oh and I flipped out on a nurse at my doctors office over the phone because they're fucking clueless, they've been fucking with my health for long enough and it's too complicated to even get into. Myles said he never wants to make me angry.

[chaletnz]

Day Trip to Tikal: Part Two

Eventually the group gathered together to carry on - it seemed the Guatemalan couple just took their time doing whatever they wanted and we’d all just be constantly waiting for them. This became very apparent when we all climbed Mundo Perdido and waited for them at the bottom for 15 minutes. It was a series of steep staircases that led to the top of the jungle, from this viewpoint we could see the tips of Mayan temples poking up above the trees, unable to be completely reclaimed by nature. We climbed one more very steep staircase up to another viewpoint and were lucky enough to see some monkey swinging and hanging above us on the climb. This view wasn’t as great as Mundo Perdido but still worth the climb up! The top was full of people sitting on the temple steps in the shade looking out into the distance. Finally it was time for our lunch and we piled into El Meson restaurant where our table was set and ready for us. Almost the entire group went for the beef option, myself included, and added a cold Fanta on there too. Our starter was a soup, then the baskets of tortillas arrived with some chimichurri sauce. The steak arrived quickly, with some vegetables and rice too. It was a decent portion but I probably could’ve eaten even more! Dessert was a slice of watermelon and pineapple and then we were ushered out and down the road to the minivan. Liam wanted to stop and get a football shirt but we were walking so quickly behind Raul, Sadhbh went back to ask the price and I caught up to Raul to stop him for a second to look at the souvenir shop at the entrance for a magnet. There weren’t any ideal ones there so I didn’t get anything but again we waited on the Guatemalan couple to do their shopping. Then we were flooring it to the airport. This was a nice quiet nap time with just a little interruption to the route when the road was closed and we had to go off roading to get around the block. I feel like this was the glimpse of the real Guatemala and the way most people in the country live. Roads lined by single room shacks with tarpaulins covering the roof and windows. The small roadside shops were still here, with strategically placed speed bumps so we had to slow down and look at their wares. We made it to the airport at about 4:30 which I feel was probably about 45 minutes prior to the flight the Spanish couple needed to catch back to Guatemala City. Me, the Irish couple and the Colombians were dropped off just over the causeway to Flores Island. They weren’t going to drive in any further, much like the collective taxi yesterday so I had to walk to the other end of the island. On the way I browsed some shops and bought a little wallet for Q50, the guy probably ripped me off but at least I liked it enough to pay that! I went back to the hotel to cool off a bit and get rid of my heavy bag. Once I felt like I could eat again I went around the corner to Maracuja to have a drink and light dinner. I chose the nicest table I could with a view of the sunset since all the tables on the edge of the balcony were already taken. Some British girls took the seat beside me and I could hear that their Spanish was even worse than mine! I ordered a caipiriña and the deep fried buffalo cauliflower which came with some carrot and zucchini sticks. It was the perfect light dinner and I also got the show when this tiny teddy bear dog called Coco was running around chasing the water while the waitress was watering the plants. The British girls were loving it too until Coco had a nasty case of diarrhoea right beside their table. After dinner I took a stroll around the island to look at some more shops and see the nightlife. A lot of the restaurants were full and bars had the music blaring but were still empty at this early hour of the evening. I found another souvenir shop with price stickers on everything so I bought a few more souvenirs including a hackysack for Q10. I didn’t have any more cash so I had to cut it off there and return to the hotel!

[derekmorganscrocs]

Galentines Gone Wrong

Pairing: Wendell Bray x Reader, Valentine’s Special.

Word Count: 2,623

Summary: Y/n Booth is an FBI agent who works under her brother Seeley Booth and is also partnered with the Jeffersonian. Valentines rolls around and Cam, Daisy, and Y/n are all painfully single. Brennen and Angela join in and the group decides it’s girls night, get absolutely smashed, cause major chaos and get arrested for disturbing the peace. When their counterparts show up to bail them out, girls night turns to date night... or whatever this is.

Edit, March 11th: I hate the end of this. I reread it and it’s lowkey trash, but I’m going to keep it up because people seem to be enjoying it. Just a disclaimer that this is not my best work.

Notes: Tbh I second guessed this yesterday, hence the late post. I want to clarify that Wendell IS NOT preying on a drunk girl, and there was no drunk hookup. This is definitely not my favourite thing I’ve written and I was so out of ideas for the ending, but fck it, I have a migraine and feel like the personification of death. ALSO I WOULD NEVER USE GALENTINES IRL IK ITS LAME BUT I SIMPLY DO NOT CARE. HOLDIDAY SPIRIT BABES. Anyway, on with the show.

It’s been a long night. Fun, but long. You wake up against Daisy’s side, stretching lazily, and still partially drunkenly. As you sit up, you recall the events that led to your current seat in a drunk tank.

The five of you ended up in a biker bar, huge leather-clad and big bearded dudes all over the damn place. Despite being big scary bikers, they were chill and actually bought half of your drinks. Then you and Daisy got a little too close to an attractive younger biker, and his girlfriend was not having it. So an argument turned full on brawl caused the lot of you to bail out of the bar and trek back into town.

Only you were real rowdy, laughing and singing, a little to loudly for anyone’s liking. And got the cops called on you. And got thrown in a dunk tank. Unfortunately “you can’t arrest me, I am the law” doesn’t work if you’re drunk. The cops weren’t a fan of your badge, either.

You’re torn from your thoughts at the sound of voices down the hall, and you stumble over the the bars of the cell, holding onto them for balance. A half-hour nap didn’t do much to sober you up. The voices get closer, and your friends and brother walk in. Wendell’s the first one you notice, your eyes immediately darting to him. He’s wearing a hot ass black jacket, jeans and a white T-shirt, and you stare at him for a lot longer than you should.

“Hey, BJ. Never thought I’d see you on the other side of the bars.” Hodgins laughs at your expression of annoyance, and lets the cop they’re with open the cell door. He walks over to grab Angela, and you scoff.

“I told you to stop calling me BJ. I know you mean Booth Junior, but other people might think something else,” you mutter, much less than impressed at the innuendo tied to the nickname.

Your brother and Sweets go collect Brennan and Daisy, and Cam stands up on her own. She’s the most level-headed of all of you, and she’s completely sobered up now. Wendell walks to your side, your brother is too occupied with his (much less coordinated than you are) wife. Wendell puts an arm around you, and you gladly lean into him, hands settling on his chest.

“You’ll never guess what we did,” you giggle drunkenly against Wendell’s chest, overcome with the giddiness of a schoolgirl with a crush.

“Apparently you guys disturbed a lot of peace.” Wendell has somewhat of an impressed/concerned/entertained smirk on his face. He looks down at you, massively interested in the story as to how you got here. Not that he’ll hear it anytime soon.

“How’d you know?!” You look up at him with surprise written all over your face, a gasp escaping your lips, and it takes a lot for him not to burst out laughing.

“The sheriff told me. Let’s take you home, okay?”

“Okay,” you mumble, much more sullenly than five seconds ago.

Wendell keeps an arm around you, more than a little worried that you’re gonna fall over, and takes you to his car. You get in the front seat, smacking his hand away as he tries to help with your seatbelt. After successfully buckling the seatbelt, you glance back at him with a smirk.

“You know if you wanted to get on top of me all you had to do was ask.”

Wendell nearly chokes and dies at what you’re insinuating. He’s also not sure if this is the tequila talking or if it’s you talking. Composing himself quickly, he lets out a chuckle, saying something along the lines of ‘okay then,’ and closes the door for you. He walks around the front of the car, making his way to the driver’s seat. Hodgins drives by, Angela and Cam in the car with him, and waves as he heads home.

Seeley pulls up beside Wendell, looking at him sternly. Daisy and Brennen are singing in the back seat, and Wendell can see Sweets in the front seat, holding back laughter. It’s a funny sight really, the usually stoic Dr. Brennen and overly excitable Daisy, swaying together in the back seat singing an off-key rendition of piano man. Seeley makes a face at a certain piercing high note that comes from Dr. Brennan, before turning to Wendell.

“Listen man, I appreciate it. If we didn’t live on the opposite side of town, I’d take her home.” Seeley leans out the window slightly, looking at Wendell.

“It’s no problem, really.” Wendell smiles, giving your brother a small wave as he turns to get in his car. “I’ll make sure she gets home safe.”

“Wait! Not that I think you will, but don’t try anything. Alright?”

“Course not, man. Don’t worry, I got this. Head home, I’ll text you when I get Y/n home.” Wendell knows your brother means no harm, obviously, yet can’t help but think about why he’d even think to say that to him.

When he gets back in the car, seeing you sleeping soundly in the passenger seat, curled up and leaning against the window, his worries melt away and he smiles. He turns the car on and lowers the radio volume before driving off.

Tonight summarizes the two of you pretty well, actually. Y/n, the chaotic do-good-er badass, and Wendell, the (sometimes also chaotic) best friend, who always has your back. Sometimes it pains him that you only see him as that, a best friend, but he’s okay with just being that. A friend. Because it means he gets to see you happy. Little does he know, you wouldn’t have gotten so sauced tonight if you weren’t drinking away the thoughts of his lips on yours, his skin pressed against yours as the night turns to morning, the idea of a spark that doesn’t exist. The day of love sucks.

And for some reason, neither of you can see that you’re crazy about each other. Maybe it’s because you’re afraid to ruin what you have, or maybe it’s because you’re both just oblivious, but it doesn’t make a huge difference. Nothing seems to be happening.

Wendell is occupied with a lot of thoughts as he drives to your place. His mind bounces all over the place. He thinks about how you met, when you first walked into the Jeffersonian covered in dirt and sweat (in a cute way... even though he thinks anything is cute on you) after a chase in the desert, just to see your brother and make sure he was okay. He also thinks about the time he literally ran into you and the two of you fell down the platform stairs. The alarms went off, and everyone stared at the pair of you tangled up on the floor. Needless to say it took a while to live that one down. He thinks about every time he’s seen you laugh, and the few that he’s seen you cry. Not that you really even cried, you just couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. You don’t exactly do emotions, not out in the open at least.

He thinks about every reason he’s so smitten with you. You’re courageous, selfless, you protect your friends and family, you’re cutthroat and ferocious, yet simultaneously the sweetest person he’s ever met. You care about every detail of his day when you ask how he’s doing, and you can tell when the slightest thing is off with him, or anyone else at the lab, except for noticing his flaming crush on you. And as he thinks about all the little things, he realizes it can’t stay bottled up forever. He has to tell you.

Before long, you’re home. The two and a half hour drive have Wendell a lot of time to think, yet somehow it also feels like he’s had no time at all. The time has also started your trail toward sobriety, and you can at least think coherently. Wendell wakes you, and when you wake up, your hand goes to your head.

“Good god. Did I get hit by a bus?” Your words are still slightly jumbled together, but you’re getting back to business as usual, and that’s good enough.

“There she is,” he singsongs playfully, glad to see your usual demeanour starting to return. You unbuckle your seatbelt, groaning when you go to move. Wendell offers you a hand, and you take it.

Helping you up, he puts an arm around your waist again. You stumble slightly, and when he catches you, you fall against him, leaning against his chest. He ends up just scooping you up off the ground and carrying you inside, placing you on the couch. You’re mostly in good shape, just awful clumsy and distracted due to your headache. Wendell heads into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and some crackers.

“How you doing?” He sits by your thigh, putting an arm on the back of the couch and looking over at you. You cover your face with your hands, laughing gently.

“Ugh, please tell me I didn’t actually make the worst sex implication joke ever.”

“Um...”

“Oh shit. This is embarrassing.” You sit up, still a little tipsy, but not as messed up as you were at the police station. Maybe if things go off you can play it off as Valentine’s tequila. “Fuck it. I’m just gonna go for it. Tonight was fun or whatever, but I really wanted to spend it with you.”

“We could’ve done that. We can hang out this weekend if you want.”

“No, no. You really are a blonde.” You laugh, nudging his shoulder with your fist. Suddenly nervous, you start to ramble. “Not that that’s bad, because you’re definitely pretty. You’re a cute blonde, and you do have really nice arms, they’re really toned, and you know, at the garage you wear these tight shirts and sometimes I just stare and I worry you see, but-“

“Y/n! You’re getting off track here.” He puts a hand on your shoulder, laughing at your rambles. “Maybe we should talk about this tomorrow.”

“I like you a lot.” The words are out of your mouth before he’s even finished his sentence. “Like I have feelings for you?” It comes out like a question, but it’s meant as more of a fearful statement.

“Wait, really?” His eyes widen and his smile falls. At first you think he’s about to run for the hills, but when a small smile appears on his face you’re not so sure.

“Ah, shit, I shouldn’t have said anything,” you curse, rolling your eyes at your own stupidity. That’s fuckin embarrassing.

“No, I like you, too. A lot.” Wendell takes your hand, and you lay against his side as he keeps talking. “We can talk more, when you’re sober. But I do like you. And I think that if we decided that this weekend’s hangout was more ‘ice skating in the park’ instead of ‘trying to kill each other at the rink’, I’d be more than okay with that. I’d like that a lot, actually.” He lets out a small, nervous chuckle, and he glances down at you, fingers grazing your cheek as he contemplates if it would be weird to cup your face with his hand and run his thumb over your cheek.

“Really?” You look up at him with an adorable awestruck expression, and he nearly bursts out laughing.

“Yeah, really.” A smile stays glued to his face, and he shifts slightly, which causes you to sit up. “Now, you should probably go to bed, so that you’re not completely useless tomorrow.”

Wendell plants a small kiss on the top of your head, before standing and scooping you up, bringing you to your room. He drops you gently on your bed, and you let out a small giggle as you bounce slightly with the impact. You banish him from your room so that you can change, and not really paying attention, grab a black hoodie and shorts out of your closet. When you open the door again, he’s just leaning against the wall outside.

“Sorry, I didn’t know where you wanted me to set up- is that my hoodie? I’ve been looking for that!”

“Huh?” You look down at the sweater, seeing the small Jeffersonian logo on the left side of the chest, and the initials on the sleeve. “Oh, I guess it is.” You remember when he gave it to you, he couldn’t stand the idea of you remaining in your blood soaked T-shirt, the grey had become a sticky maroon, too much so to be comfortable. “You can have it back-“

“No, you keep it.” He steps closer, lifting your chin so that you look at him, and brushing a stray hair out of your face. His voice drops, becoming softer and breathy. “It’s much cuter on you anyway,” he murmurs, making you blush profusely, a little laugh escaping your lips.

The two of you fall silent, each staring at the other’s lips. A hum comes from the furnace, causing you both to startle slightly, and it ends the moment. You glance back at Wendell again, before sitting on your bed. He tilts his head at you, mildly confused as to what you’re doing.

“Where did you want me to sleep?”

“Wherever you want. There’s blankets and a few pillows in the closet.”

He thanks you and walks out, and you breathe in deeply, not realizing how shallow your breathing had become. Your mind is racing, and so is your heart. This is simultaneously about the best and worst Valentine’s you’ve ever had. As you mull over the events of tonight, you slide under the blankets, laying back and staring at the ceiling. The shuffling in your living room comes to a stop, and you can hear Wendell coming back to your room. He stops in the doorway.

“Came back to say goodnight,” he says softly, making your heart melt.

“You mind staying for a while?” You sit up, looking at him. He glances over his shoulder at you, a perplexed expression plastered on his face. “What?! I’ve had a rough night,” you say, pretending to be offended. He makes his way over, laying on your bed, on top of the blankets. You roll over and face him, looking up at him lazily. “Goodnight, Wendell.”

You drift off to sleep fairly quickly, but not before you subconsciously lay your head on his chest. He’s terrified at first, frozen in place and afraid to breathe, but after a few minutes he collects himself and calms down. You sleep soundly, curled up beside Wendell. He’s warm and he smells good, and he’s pretty comfortable. By the morning, the two of you are completely intertwined, tangled in blankets and each others’ arms.

The two of you grab a greasy breakfast (and some Advil) and spend the day together, actually talking about what happened the night before. Most of the day is spent at your place, you and Wendell lounging around on your couch as you binge watch your favourite series and try to overcome your hangover.

The next days and weeks fly by, you and Wendell getting closer and closer. The pair of you go on a few dates before things are made official, Wendell going as far as taking you on a walk in the snow and officially asking you out by the outdoor rink. He even reserved ice time so the two of you could skate around like idiots and pass a puck around.

And eventually, when people start to see you’re together, and ask about your story, you have to tell them he bailed you out of jail after Galantine’s gone wrong.

[tngrace]

Hoodies are for Comfort

Based off the promo for 2.08 & helped along by @moviegeek03 . Girl your support means everything & I hope this fic delivers everything you want 

GTHB Masterlist; Read on A03

Carlos was currently holding his boyfriend on the couch with the TV playing quietly in the background. TK was currently wearing his favorite grey hoodie and over top of that was Carlos’s zip-up APD hoodie with sweats and two pairs of socks. TK always insisted he likes Carlos’s hoodies better because they always provided more comfort. So Carlos had done his best to find one that would fit over the one TK was currently wearing, even though his hoodies usually swallowed TK whole. TK also had every blanket from the living room laid over him, and he was still shivering a little. Carlos hated it; he just wanted to warm TK up. 

“Hey, you still awake?” he murmurs as he cards a hand through TK’s hair being as careful as possible of the stitches in the back of his head. 

"Mmmm," TK hums softly as he leans back on Carlos more.

"Mmm is not good enough," Carlos teases as he kisses the back of TK's neck.

"Babe," TK whines softly as he burrows further in the covers and hoodies.

"I know. I'm sorry. But I can't let you sleep yet. That's what we promised the doctor when he released you. Otherwise you'd still be there."

"I know," TK sighs. "But I just wanna sleep and it's too cold."

Carlos runs a hand to TK's forehead. "You're pretty warm mi amor." Hr reaches for the thermometer on the side table beside him. He holds it to TK's ear and watches the numbers rise filling him with more relief. "You're right below normal," Carlos tells him, showing him the thermometer.

TK nods as he relaxes more into Carlos. "Can probably sleep for a little bit," TK murmurs.

Carlos let's out a soft sigh. "Ok short nap. I'm waking you in an hour," he says as TK gets comfy, being careful of the bruises and stitches. Carlos tucks the blankets around him more, and sets an alarm to wake TK in an hour. He softly keeps his hand moving through TK's hair as TK falls right to sleep.

Carlos softly kisses his head as he thinks back over the most stressful twenty-four hours of his life.

When he'd gotten the call from Owen that the entire paramedic team was not responding and appeared off grid going on an hour and half, he'd felt worried. When he'd broken away from his dad with the excuse of a case even though he'd just clocked out, he thought they'd find them quickly. Only he discovered the empty parking garage, and TK wasn't answering his calls, texts or SOS messages.

They reported it like they were supposed to, Grace having already alerted her supervisors the paramedics weren't responding. His entire precinct was on the case, even some of his off duty friends coming in to help. The 126 team still descended on the parking garage as one unit, but split off into pairs to looks for their missing members not wanting to be left out of the search for their family. Judd declared he was going with Carlos, having taken on the captain role for Owen who was equally distressed he couldn't reach his son. Paul took Owen leaving Marjan and Mateo to team up.

Carlos nods knowing Judd is right, so they stop for coffee and a sandwich. Judd makes the comment trying to fill the silence and distract Carlos about wrapping TK in bubble wrap and never letting him leave the station again, and Carlos can't help but agree. He thought the medic job would be safer and he wouldn't have to worry about grey hair just yet. But TK, as always, is proving him wrong. "Hey, isn't your dad a Ranger?" Judd asks.

After three hours of looking and tracing every step they could think of with no luck, Carlos was at his wits in. Judd was making him take a coffee break, despite his instance to keep going. "Carlos, you're not gonna be any good to him if you don't take a minute for yourself. Believe me I wanna find him just as bad, but he's gonna need you in top shape."

"Yea. Why?" Carlos asks confused at the change in direction of conversation.

"Just thinking he might have some pull somewhere we could use."

Carlos nods as he thinks it over. It doesn't take him long and he's pulling out his phone making the call. He gives his dad the short version and agrees to wait for him at the coffee shop. "He doesn't know about us," Carlos tells Judd quietly not meeting his eyes.

"I know. TK told me. I won't tell your secret Reyes, but I hate to be the one to break it to ya. If your dad is anywhere as smart as I image he is, he's going to figure it out. You're not gonna be able to hide that emotion," Judd says gesturing to his face.

Carlos nods knowing Judd is right. They sit in silence for a few more minutes before he sees his dad's truck pull up behind Judd's. "Could you give me a minute with him? I'll tell him, then we can go."

"Course," Judd nods as he heads out to his truck, nodding at Carlos's dad as he goes. Carlos tells his dad the truth, that one of the missing paramedics is his boyfriend and that he'll explain more on that later, before he tells his dad all the case facts they know. "We'll find him," Gabriel says squeezing Carlos's shoulder. Carlos does his best to hold back the tears, but one does escape.

They leave the little coffee shop in Gabriel's truck as Gabriel makes some calls. As they drive around Carlos explains things to his dad, Judd having decided to follow them so Carlos could speak freely. He hates the pained look on his dad's face when he explains why he lied and how long he and TK had been a couple, but thankfully he doesn't press Carlos for more than he's willing to share just yet.

It takes another 2 hours before TK's phone location comes back on; it takes another 30 minutes for them to get to the location. Carlos and his dad go in guns drawn not waiting for backup having gotten a text Nancy covertly sent from TK's phone because his was the only one not busted. The rest of the 126 arrive not long after them. Tommy and Nancy appear unhurt, but shook up and terrified. When Nancy told Carlos that TK was in the freezer, he panicked. He opened the door and saw TK slumped against the wall passed out with blood on the back of his head. Thankfully he hadn't been in there too long Tommy informed them, but long enough his body temperature had dropped, and he had stopped shaking despite the cold.

Gabriel shooed Carlos into the back of the ambulance with the promise to talk to Andrea for him and to check on them soon. "Thanks Dad" Carlos says trying to hold back his tears as he climbed in the back with his boy. It took several hours in the ER for TK to get stitched up from being pistol whipped Carlos learned, and for his temperature to come up enough for them to be released. He had a concussion, six stitches and several bruises on top of almost severe hypothermia. They're discharged about eight am with strict instructions to take it easy and return if TK's symptoms worsen.

Carlos let's out another soft sigh as he kisses the top of TK's head glad his boy is safe in his arms once more. Today, well yesterday at this point, had been one of the scariest of his life. He didn't know what he'd do if he ever really lost TK. He knows he needs to call his parents too; needs to properly talk to them about the new bomb he just dropped on them, but he can't bring himself to do it just yet. He feels emotionally drained, but he can't sleep either, fearing something will happen to TK while he's asleep.

"You're thinking too much," he hears murmured as TK tries to burrow closer. Even though his temperature is almost back to normal, he can't shake the cold feeling.

"Sorry cariño," Carlos whispers as he adjusts to TK's wiggling. He tucks the blankets around him more, and before he can ask TK if he's ok, there is a knock at his door making him furrow his brow. He silences his alarm to wake TK, even though TK woke on his own, thankfully. 

"Who the?" He questions not happy about the interruption.

"Probably dad," TK sighs knowing Owen has asked for hourly updates, which he thought was a little ridiculous. He knows his dad wants to talk about his and his mom's previous behavior, and try to make amends, but TK just isn't ready to deal with his parents’ problems yet.

Carlos rearranges TK on the couch before he goes to open the door. Carlos is extremely shocked when he opens it to see his parents standing there. Gabriel is holding a crock pot that Carlos is almost positive is full by the smell, and Andrea is holding a rather large bag.

"Mamì? Dad?" Carlos greets as he opens the door wider at Andrea's expectant look.

"Carlitos," she smiles patting his cheek as she walks by.

"Don't try and argue with her mijo," Gabriel says heading for the kitchen when he sees the argument forming on the tip of Carlos’s tongue.

"Don't you dare," Andrea says to TK when she sees him trying to sit up and uncover. "I hear you've had a rather rough day TK. So please stay put," she says as Carlos stares on with the most adorably confused face.

She turns to her son next, "Well Carlitos not even a hug again?" She questions with a grin reminding them of the farmer's market day.

"Mamì," he groans but he does hug her. "What are you doing here?" He finally asks.

"Manners mijo! I raised you better than that," she scolds making TK giggle a little as Carlos blushes. He does finally make his way back to the couch to help TK prop up more as Andrea pushes him that way. He sits beside him, TK understanding Carlos is not comfortable with a lap full of boyfriend in front of his parents.

"Your dad explained everything that happened," Andrea starts as Gabriel joins them, and they finally sit across from the boys. "So I made your favorite Chile Verde for you two and brought a surprise," she says with a large grin as she finally digs into the bag she carried in.

"You really didn't have to go through all this trouble mam," TK says as Andrea starts pulling out a gorgeous quilt. He sees Carlos's eyes go wide and is slightly confused.

"Nonsense," Andrea says carrying the quilt over to the couch. “And you don’t have to ‘mam’ me even though it’s sweet,” she grins at him. Carlos still hasn't said anything, and it's really stressing TK out. "Besides I wanted to. Chile Verde is Carlos's favorite soup, and it will warm you right up. This will too," she says tucking the quilt around TK atop his mound of blankets. "This was Carlos's favorite, especially when he was sick. His Abuela made it when Gabriel and I got married. Carlos always told me he wanted it when he was older. His sisters all have one picked out as well, and I figured now would be a good time to give it to him."

"Mamì," Carlos finally chokes out his eyes filled with tears. TK sneaks a hand out from under all the blankets and lays it on Carlos's knee giving it a squeeze.

Andrea moves over and cups Carlos's cheek before kissing his forehead. "Shhh mijo," she whispers as she wipes his tears, hearing everything he can't say just yet. "We love you, and that's all that needs to be said right now," she whispers hearing her husband agree.

Carlos nods and let’s his mama hug him tight. He feels TK squeezing his knee. “Gracìas Mamì,” he murmurs as she moves back to sit by Gabriel. 

They stay a little longer, getting to know TK, which helps Carlos keep him awake a while longer. The soup is absolutely delicious, and TK praises Andrea for passing her culinary skills on to Carlos. When they see both boys on the verge of crashing from exhaustion, they decide to head back to the ranch. Andrea makes them promise to come out for Sunday dinner soon as well as call if they were to need anything in the coming days. Carlos promises they will, and promises to have dinner even sooner with just his parents so they can talk like they need to.

Once he sees them out, he helps TK up off the couch to go to bed. TK insists on taking the quilt because it is super warm and will look amazing on their bed. They curl up together, TK finally feeling warm and happy and Carlos feeling exhausted enough to sleep. Things might not always be perfect, but they'll always have each other and their family.

[gaemkyuu]

Happy Valentine’s Day Daddy

Warnings: none! A/N: This is my valentine’s day entry for @cherrymaybank ! Back to back posts about Charlie, Riley and little Emerson! We do talk about the potential to having another one in the family, but I’m not sure if we like the trio as it is... do you guys want to see Dad!Charlie with a new born and an 8 year old daughter? Disclaimer: This is a FICITONAL writing piece! In no way do I claim characters in this piece act this way in real life.

Masterlist *now taking requests ;)

Happy Valentine’s Day Daddy

Riley emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet, Charlie rushing into their ensuite to help hold her hair back. He soothed her back and got her a glass of water from the sink. They had gone to the clinic yesterday to confirm whether or not she was pregnant, since she had been nauseous and throwing up a lot lately. The drug store pregnancy tests were negative, but then again the same thing happened when Riley was pregnant with Emerson. She was normally irregular and active, but grew up with the doctors always saying she would have fertility problems. Emerson came to her as a shock.

“Mommy?” they heard their little girl call out from the hallway, and Charlie got up to intervene before she saw her mother.

“Hey Princess, bad dream?” Charlie scooped Emerson up from the hallway, feeling her heaviness set in. Emerson was 7 and soon to be 8, but Charlie wouldn’t pass the opportunity to pick her up. He didn’t want her growing up too fast, although mentally that ship had sailed.

“No, I had a weird one” she hugged his back and laid her head on his shoulder. “Can we have a midnight snack Daddy?” that’s when Charlie noticed the clock in the hallway read 1:13AM. He contemplated it for a moment, thinking about how Riley wouldn’t approve, but she wasn’t there to stop him and she would appreciate him distracting Emerson.

“Sure, you get the cookies and milk. I’ll be down to help with plates and stuff.” he set her down and kissed her on the head. Emerson looked up inquisitively at him and then back at their open bedroom door. Charlie noticed, and turned her around, gently pushing her towards the kitchen. “Mommy’s fine, just a tiny upset stomach. I’m gonna go make sure she’s good, so don’t eat all the cookies without me” 

This made the little girl giggle as she made her way to the kitchen. Charlie went back to check on Riley, who had her back to the wall adjacent to the toilet. She looked better, less pale, but still exhausted. “You want me to help you up?”

“No, I think I’ve got another round coming in a moment or two. Emerson okay?” Charlie nodded, taking the glass from her hand and refilling it. “Let me guess. Another round of Gillespie’s Midnight Munchies?”

“What can I say? She’s super persuasive” He passed her the glass and she scoffed before taking another drink. “She’s got me wrapped around her fingers”

“Well then don’t let me stop you! You’re princess awaits!” She made a flamboyant gesture of hands referencing her daughter, grateful for her acceptance of Charlie in her life. Riley had to admit that it was helpful to have Charlie around! 

Since the wedding, Riley had made the decision to homeschool Emerson. It meant that she could play with kids in the neighbourhood, but do schoolwork at her pace. Riley was able to work a lot more from home and with Charlie’s acting hours, it meant that he could be home a lot more too. She was often in charge of setting up Emerson’s curriculum, but it helped to have Charlie around. She knew Emerson was learning because she would hear her daughter teaching Charlie the concepts that she went through that day when he would get her ready for bed. Emerson often expressed that she liked doing this more than what they had been doing before. Occasionally, she would go to a daycare program when both of them were busy, but Charlie often brought her to set when he could.

Riley smiles fondly the first time Charlie brought her to set on a project he was working on. She snapped a picture as they walked through the door, Emerson wearing a pretty dress, Charlie in his comfy clothes and a pink backpack that was way too small hung over his shoulder. They walked hand in hand to the car and waved goodbye to her. The time that the two spent together did include a lot of shenanigans and sometimes being outnumbered or out voted, but Charlie never let it get out of hand.

***

Emerson’s lip quivered as her mother shook her head no. She wanted ice cream, but Riley had refused because of the cotton candy she ate earlier. Emerson didn’t take a nap and woke up early, and more sugar would mean a bigger problem later that day. Not wanting to take no for an answer, Emerson asked Charlie, who also agreed that she should forego the ice cream. 

That was the straw that broke Emerson’s back.

Riley had never seen Emerson tantrum so bad before, especially since her toddler was known to be very mature. She was used to her daughter clamming up and refusing to talk to her until she was ready, but that day was a completely different experience. Here she was screaming and crying, insisting she deserved ice cream.

Charlie sensed Riley’s flusteredness and tried to calm Emerson down. When she screamed and cried louder, she flailed her arms about, hitting Riley and Charlie. That’s when his usual sparkle and mischief that was normally present in his eyes disappeared.

“Emerson Gianna Gillespie. That’s enough.” Emerson was in shock at the tone of his voice. He didn’t yell, but he wasn’t quiet either. She could see that his eyes meant business, and he had never used her real name. She sunk to the ground in a last attempt at defiance. “Please stand up, or we are going home.” Emerson refused to stand. Charlie motioned for Riley to pack up their stuff quickly, as he picked up Emerson and brought her to the car. He didn’t say a single word, even as Emerson started to cry softly on their way to the car. She had started to realize the errors of her actions and felt awful.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a bad girl” she sniffed as Charlie buckled her into her booster seat. “Can we still get McDonalds?” she wiped away a few more tears as Riley got into the passenger side. Before she could reply, Charlie quickly answered the little girl.

“We are going home. We will talk about this when we get home” and with that he shut the door, and they drove home in silence. Emerson walked over to her time out corner in the house, a place where she rarely sat, but knew it was meant for her to reflect upon her actions. Emerson didn’t know that Charlie felt awful about being stone cold to her and was upstairs whisper venting to Riley, who patiently sat and listened. 

They made up over dinner that night and this was the first time that Emerson saw Charlie acting like a Daddy and not like a Charlie.

***

“Take all the time you need. I got Emmy” he kissed her head and went to join his little one at the kitchen island. As directed, the jar of cookies was on the counter, along with the jug of milk. She sat on the stood and swung her legs back and forth singing a song, waiting patiently for him. “Ready for some late night snicky snacks?”

“Mommy okay?” the little girl sat there waiting patiently but worrying about her mom. Charlie grabbed two dessert plates and two glasses for the milk and cookies. Charlie nodded and dished them up some cookies and poured the milk into the glasses, humming to himself. They clinked their glasses together and enjoyed their food in silence, only the sounds of the cookies crunching.

“Are you going to tell me about the weird dream you had?” he asked, a few crumbs spilling from his mouth. He wiped the corner of Emerson’s mouth with his thumb and took a sip of his milk.

“I had a dream that I had a baby brother” Charlie spat out his milk and choked, coughing at her comment. Emerson patted the man on the back, something she often saw adults do to other adults when they choked and something her parents did for her. “Isn’t that why mommy has an upset stomach?”

“Who told you that?” Charlie wiped his mouth and the counter of his mess, moving to dispose of the paper towel in the kitchen garbage. Emerson quietly munched on her cookie and took a drink of milk. “It was Uncle Owen wasn’t it?” she nodded, knowing that speaking with a full mouth was rude. Charlie made a mental note to chastise Owen later. Emerson was smart and perceptive but she was still a kid and who knows what the giant told her in his panic. Charlie gave her another cookie.

“Is this meant to keep me quiet? Uncle Owen did that last time. He said adults like to bribe children with things so they behave and don’t expose them. Didn’t anyone tell Uncle Owen that he’s not supposed to keep secrets or lie?” The little girl greatly accepted the cookie from Charlie and took a big bite, sipping on some more milk to help wash it down.

“No, it’s not a bribe. I’m giving you another cookie because you’re so tiny! I have to fatten you up if I’m going to bake you into a pie!” he joked as he tickled the girl. She laughed and dropped her cookie as Charlie attacked her sides and blew raspberries into her neck.

Even though Riley was 5”2 and her mother was short, Emerson seemed a little too much on the tiny side. She was still the height of your average six year old but she was thin and weighed very little despite the amount of food she ate. Her pediatricians worried that she wasn’t growing as healthily as the other children, but found no problems or illnesses within her. She was simply a late bloomer. It didn’t help that she was twice as smart as kids her age either, but Charlie made sure she knew that was something to be proud of. Both parents always told her that real friends would like her despite her differences and that being like the other kids is boring. 

“Seems like you two are doing fine without me!” the two froze in their act as they realized that Riley had walked into the kitchen. She smiled and grabbed the cookie off Charlie’s plate, sipping on his milk.

“Yup. Definitely pregnant. I guess I am getting a younger brother” Riley’s eyes were as wide as saucers and Charlie rolled his. She looked to Charlie for answers.

“Owen?”

“Owen.”

“Daddy? I think I’m ready to go back to bed” Emerson rubbed her eyes and hopped off the chair. Her mother smiled and gave her little girl a big hug, she couldn’t believe that Emerson would soon be 8.

“You and mommy go upstairs. I’ll clean up down here” Charlie gave both of his girls a kiss on the head before they retreated to Emerson’s bedroom. He began to pick up the plates and wipe the counter down, not bothering to wash the plates. He was supposed to be cooking breakfast for everyone in the morning, so he thought to wash their dishes then, but seeing as they were up so late, breakfast might be brunch. Just as he was putting away the milk and cookie jar, he heard soft footsteps rush into the kitchen. When he closed the door, he saw no one except a little red present box on the counter.

To Daddy

From Emmy

He smiled and carried the tiny box over to the bedroom. Riley was just tucking Emerson in, when he popped his head into the bedroom and shook the box. Emerson blushed and hid under the covers and Riley turned around seeing the box that Charlie shook.

“Is that where you went? I thought you were going pee!” her mother prodded, poking her daughter who was trying to hide. “Why are you hiding Emmy? There’s no need to be shy about it!”

“Did you know about this?” Riley shook her head no and peeled the blanket off her daughter. She hid her face in her hands, blushing a deep pink. “Emmy, come on, I wanna share this moment with you!” Charlie sat down at the foot of the bed and Riley sat beside her. Emerson lowered her hands from her face.

“Uncle Owen helped me with this when he babysat me last week” she smiled, avoiding eye contact. Charlie opened the box and instantly felt his heart grow big. Seeing his reaction, Riley peered into the box and understood the man’s reaction.

In the tiny red box lay a plastic guitar pick which had a picture from their wedding printed on it. It was a photo of the three of them, a stolen shot, between professional takes that encaptured their family’s dynamic. They were all smiling and laughing. It was Charlie’s favorite picture and it was his phone background. At the top of the pic was a tiny hole that connected it to a chain that he could wear around his neck.

“I haven’t been to daycare in a while, so I missed the Valentine’s day crafts. I’m going to a tea party with Aunty Savannah and mommy for Valentine’s day, but I didn’t have anything for you” Charlie opened his arms and beckoned for the little girl to crawl into his lap and hug him back. He rested his chin on her head and sniffed back the tears that had formed. “Did you read the back?” he pulled away and flipped the pick around.

Happy Valentine’s Day Daddy!

“Gosh Emmy, you are just so smart” he pulled the little girl in for another hug, a tear escaping his eye and he kissed her head again. “You didn’t have to do this Princess!”

“It’s my first Valentine’s day with a Daddy. Every year, the girls at the daycare got to have a Valentine’s day date with their Dads and would make them stuff at craft time. This is the first year I get to do it, so I wanted it to be special” she smiled up at him, happy that he liked the gift.

“I love it Emmy. I’ll never take it off” he placed it around his neck and fiddled with it again. Charlie really meant that he never wanted to take it off. Everything precious to him was represented on that pick. He made a mental note to thank Owen and probably not chastise him as bad as he wanted to before.

“Does that mean I get to spend Valentine’s day with the both of you?” Charlie and Riley shared a confused look, wondering where the question came from. Sensing their confusion, Emerson clarified her question. “Uncle Owen said that on Valentine’s day, you guys were going to play hide the zucchini, so he’d probably babysit me again. I thought it sounded like fun”

Cancel that. Charlie was definitely going to kill Owen.

[jeontaehui]

TAEHEE RELAY CAM (6-7 PM)

disclaimer posts under the ‘taeheecut’ tag aim to mimic that of a youtube video so it won’t appear as substantial as full-length texts (scenarios, timestamps, etc.) usually are, and the scenes in each bullet just kind of jump from one another.

taehee blinks at the camera for a few times before shaking herself awake. “mark, jungwoo, and i took a nap again,” she yawns while stretching, “but i feel tired even from doing that.”

taehee places the camera on the drawer, making sure that the two other boys who were sleeping on her bed wouldn’t appear in the frame. “i’m going to change for a bit and get my jacket,” she whispers, “and then we can leave to get chubs.” she sends a thumbs up and a lopsided grin to the camera before entering the bathroom.

taehee had changed into a sweater and thicker pants, placing her coat on one of the chairs by their dining table. she leaves the camera and her phone for a moment, and you can hear how the cabinet doors squeak when she opens and closes them. 

she reappears, a jug in hand after putting water in it from the dispenser. taehee presses her lips into a thin line before tying her hair into a ponytail, some of the shorter strands falling from its grasps. 

her phone suddenly rings, she hasn’t left the apartment yet, and an amused smirk crosses her features before answering, placing the call on speaker mode. “what is it, mark?,” she lays the phone in front of the camera as she goes to look for her manager’s car keys. mark’s groggy voice cuts through after a few beats of silence, “did you leave already?” a faint cheer comes from the girl once she finds the keys. 

“leave?” taehee shrugs her jacket on. “yeah, i did, like ten minutes ago.” she purses her lips, trying to contain a smile, before picking up the phone and camera. “oh,” mark says from the end of the line. “just tell me when you’re coming back so i can open the door for you,” she hears him yawn. “alright,” taehee singsongs in response.

she opens the door leading to her and mark’s room, the camera catching how only her head was peeking through the doorframe. “i thought you left,” you could hear mark say. “i was just joking,” taehee whispers cheekily, jungwoo still must’ve been asleep. “i’m gonna go now,” taehee says, the camera shaking lightly with every word she spoke. “bye bye. go back to sleep.”

taehee fixes the camera onto the car’s dashboard, softly beatboxing as she connects the aux cord to her phone. “since i’m in a good mood, i will be playing this,” she taps her thumb on her phone screen, “playlist.”

the next five minutes of the video consist of taehee just belting out lyrics from the songs in her playlist to the best she can, as if they were her own songs and she was performing on stage. the editors went as far as editing a mic emoji onto her hand as she sang.

“the story starts when it was hot and it was summer and, i had it all i had him right there where i wanted him. she came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause. she took him faster than you could say sabotage!”

“i-i-i see how this is gon’ go. touch me and you’ll never be alone. i-island breeze, and lights down low. no one has to know,” a playful smirk makes its way on her lips as she tsks a finger gun at the camera, before she shifts gears and presses her foot on the gas pedal.

“now that i’m driving with a camera, it feels like baekhyun hyung’s channel,” taehee giggles. “i actually watched a few of his videos while we were in the waiting room- oh wait, that reminds me.”

‘get you alone’ plays from the speakers of the car, taehee humming its tune as she focuses on the road in front of her. “this was released yesterday, right?,” she clicks her tongue. leaning back more comfortably on the seat, she props her elbow on the armrest as she uses her left hand to control the wheel, bopping her head to the music. then she mumbles, “i like the choreography (to this song). the choreography for baekhyun hyung’s songs fit my style.”

the familiar intro of paramore’s ‘still into you’ flows from the speakers, and a subtle pout appears on taehee’s lips as the car seems to slow to a stop. “i like that song but we’re here now,” she grins, grabbing her phone from one of the cupholders and then the camera.

taehee’s bangs catch some of the snow as she steps out of the car, the girl scrunching her nose when she feels them drop on it. her feet begin to move into a slow jog after closing the car door, saying, “let’s get inside nowww!”

taehee calls out for the dogs, placing her shoes by the door and untangling her hair from her ponytail. her eyes visibly light up when she hears their high pitched barks, distinguishing chubs’ sharp and loud ones from daegal’s.

“hi baby,” taehee coos, stepping foot inside daegal and chubs’ shared cage, and the two dogs immediately paw at her legs. 

she sits cross-legged on the floor. chubs tries to claw at the camera, making taehee raise her arm high up in the air while daegal was trying to get on her lap. “chubs, sit!” said taehee, yet the lhasa apso stubbornly stands on its hind legs and continues to reach for the camera. its cute manner of doing so causes taehee to laugh. “chubs, sit!” this time chubs listens to her. 

taehee carefully lowers the camera so chubs could familiarize herself with it, only pulling it out of her reach again when her nails get a tad bit too close to the camera. “sniff, just sniff it,” you would hear her mumble. taehee would do the same with daegal, but she seemed calmer than chubs. 

the brown and white lhasa apso now paid no attention to the camera, seeing that it didn’t pose a threat, and taehee takes this as a chance to put the device on the corner of the cage where she and the dogs could be seen. 

taehee grabs chubs to sit her on her lap, her eyes widening in realization. “this is chubs’ camera debut, woah,” she says amused, scratching chubs’ soft scalp. “say hi baby.”

with a snap of taehee’s finger, chubs places her paw on taehee’s palm. “good job!” she praises her, doing a few more tricks with her before calling on the other pup. “daegalie, come here!” she calls the bichon frise once again until it pads its way to her, chubs going somewhere else to play. 

taehee teaches daegal some tricks as time passes, praising her when she’d follow well. before she knew it, only twelve minutes were left until the clock strikes seven. 

“oh? time passes by quickly, huh,” taehee mumbles, reaching beside the camera to grab her phone. she makes a few taps on the screen; she’s calling somebody. 

it takes three rings until the person on the other line picks up, “hello?” taehee makes a small noise when daegal licks her fingers, tickling her. giggling, she says, “chenle! where are you?” “i’m with kun hyung and the others,” he answers her. the older girl nods, “okay, i’m in your house and i’m planning to bring chubs to the dorm, but i don’t want to leave daegal alone.”

“what time are you going home?” taehee asks, “ah wait. you have your radio show tonight, right?” you’d hear chenle’s chuckle echo through her phone’s speaker before saying, “no, noona it’s fine. i’ll make a quick stop there anyways.” “are you sure?” “i’m sure. you can go home now, noona.” taehee murmurs something incoherently, then they say their goodbyes. 

“okay so now it’s 6:53, i’m just going to leave a little after seven,” taehee says. she now lays on the couch, her head resting on the armrests. “you guys saw me drive, and then sing songs, and then play with the puppies.”

“if we had more time, i would have dropped by mcdonald’s to eat,” she chuckles as she ruffles her bangs. 

“mmm, i’m thankful that we’re given the chance to share these parts of our days with you guys. i think these kinds of stuff help us relate to each other better and just, connect with each other in general.”

taehee bites her lip before continuing, “it’s kind of sad that we don’t get to go out as much as we used to, or as much as we like. so you guys have to stay safe, okay? drink lots of water, take your vitamins, uhmm, get enough amounts of sleep,” she lists. a small smile makes its way to her lips as her eyelids droop slightly, “we’ll see each other soon. we’ll perform in front of you guys again soon. in the meantime, we can just talk to each other through the screen.”

taehee’s phone blares at the camera as it displays the time. “it’s already 7:00 and so i hope you guys enjoyed this relay cam, and anticipate the next member,” taehee beams. 

she waves a hand to the camera, adjusting it so that it would show the two dogs that were playing, “bye!”

[arigatouiris]

always you // tsukishima x reader

Author’s Note: I am kinda proud of this one because I relate to the reader and Tsukki here so I just projected half of my personalities into either of them hahaha. Again, before I take requests, which I do, I want to finish clearing the works on my draft first. Currently I have two more one shots before my draft is completely clear and so far I have 3 requests in total. Also, I can totally see Tsukki as the pining type and hopeless romantic, yanno? I hope ya’ll like this~

Word count: 6329 words

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Reader (Aged up) (College AU)

Warnings: angst, mentions of alcohol, intoxication, intense pining, slight sexual references, eventual fluff, tired reader

If someone would have told Tsukishima Kei that he would miss every single detail about Karasuno when he’d graduate, he’d have laughed at their face. He wasn’t sentimental, anyone who knew Tsukishima knew that he was one of the most practical people they’d ever meet, but here he was, standing beside a particular desk in his 3-4 classroom, staring at an inscription on it that reminded him of you.

The classroom is empty, and the silence echoes in his head constantly. It takes him only a second to think of how loud it would be if it were filled with people—it feels like just yesterday when this very classroom was bustling with joy and laughter, and here you’d sit, reading a book or trying to take a quick nap or doodling. 

Looking anywhere but at him.

He let out a breath before feeling his eyes burn, his fingers ghosting over the inscription on the desk. He thinks of your smile directed at him, your hair blowing in the wind, your laughter at something Yamaguchi said, and the way your eyes would glisten when you called out his name.

Tsukki.

His heart was constricting with a familiar sort of pain, the very pain he felt when he broke up with you six months ago; he remembered how your eyes didn’t widen, how tired you looked, how you pressed your lips together, and just walked away. You must have expected it, the way things had been going in the last year. You had your own club activities, and Kei had his dedication to the volleyball club—yet, despite how understanding the both of you had been earlier, third year did not work out.

     “Tsukki,” Yamaguchi’s voice broke him out of his stupor, before he pulled his hand away from the inscription. “Do you... Do you want to speak to her?”

He did. 

Oh, he missed you with every fibre of his being. He wanted to talk to you, he wanted to bury his fingers in your hair, touch your skin, kiss you till you became breathless and he wanted to see the blush settle on your face because of him. He wanted to apologize and scream at how stupid he was for letting you go, and all of this he had realized in six months of not being around you. People often said that first loves don’t last forever, but Kei wanted nothing more than to make things work with you.

No one understood him like you did; you took his snapping with a bulletproof shield and you were headstrong when he was letting himself feel weak. You didn’t punish him for being himself, instead, you embraced him for everything that came with him being who he was—even the bad parts.

     “No.” 

But, he knew it was too late. He knew you were probably not even in school. Your medical entrance was not far away, and he knew how hard you were working for it. That’s what he loved most about you. On days when he thought he wasn’t paying much attention to you, he’d be one of the last things on your mind because you had a life of your own. He’d wonder if he was being a bad boyfriend by neglecting you for days, not texting you or calling you, but then he’d hear from Yamaguchi that your club activities kept you so busy that it was hard for you to initiate any contact as well.

And when you two did meet after a week of not talking, you’d embrace him with that calming, quite addictive smile and a soft hug before he pushed you away and made fun of you. He’d secretly do it just to see you pout, which he thought was adorable. 

And his heart would break when you’d apologize to him instead. Tsukki, I’m sorry I was so busy, his eyes would widen, The club needed me to finish the reports for the anthology we were preparing—

He’d shut you up each time with a firm kiss. The loud beating of his heart meant that he liked you more than he let you know and he only wondered if that would ever bite him in the ass later. 

And it did.

*

It had been seven months since he had last seen you. 

Tsukishima knew you were in Tohoku Medical University, and the last time he had seen you was near his own university, meeting with a bunch of girls. He didn’t approach you, quickly hid himself away at an angle that allowed him to look at you, while you couldn’t see him. You didn’t cut your hair, despite how he believed girls after a relationship would make some change; however, you looked exactly like he remembered, no changes.

Did that mean something? He couldn’t deny how he was feeling upon seeing you there, smiling and talking to people he didn’t know, and he ached for you. To see you was to be seduced by you, and he loved how feisty you were with him. 

You weren’t shy, you didn’t have a flat personality like most girls he had met. You were a dangerous combination of everything that could ruin him, personified in a form that always took his breath away. Only he could see you flustered, only his touches could make you sigh and gasp and breathless, and he’d have it no other way.

He yearned for a glimpse of you throughout the day, and only at nights he could see you, be with you. But, somehow, you would be gone when he woke up.

It was a week after that did Tsukishima even tell Yamaguchi that he had seen you, to which the blond got news that he perhaps, could have lived without.

     “She’s dating someone.”

Tsukishima’s eyes widen at his friend’s words, who only looked a tad bit uncomfortable at how the blond was staring at him.

     “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have brought it up—”

     “Who is it?”

Yamaguchi gulped, unsure if he even had to say anymore. He knew how his friend felt about you, and throwing at him this sudden bit of information could damage him more than he already was. Clearly, Tsukishima Kei had not stopped yearning for you, despite the breakup, despite the gap, despite the almost one year of not being with you.

     “It’s someone from her college... Her senpai, I think?”

But, there was no way Yamaguchi could ever lie to Kei. Tsukishima was grateful for the news, but the way it made him feel was not worth knowing the information. He felt a rock settle in between his lungs and every time he breathed he thought of you, and it hurt all the more than it did before. No matter how many deep breaths he took, Tsukishima could not let go of that rock. 

     “It’s been long anyway,” He couldn’t even hear his own words, “Good for her.”

Yamaguchi was the one who could see the emotions plastered on his friend’s face, and his heart dropped at the mere sight. Of all the years he had known Tsukishima, he had never seen him so exposed, so vulnerable, and without you, he was just a mess. A walking body of high-functioning anxiety, Tsukishima Kei would rather let his demons devour him than reveal that a girl was making him feel so helpless.

But, that girl was you—strength and beauty personified; there was no wonder that Kei fell so hard for you.

Yamaguchi still remembered that day clearly. The first time you two met, in final year of Junior High. Your relationship with Kei was as special as the one he shared with the blond, and even though you didn’t know him as long, it was just as strong, just as precious, and just as important.

In final year of Junior High, your grades suddenly skyrocketed and you were placed in his class—the teacher often comparing your grades with his own, two of the smartest people in class. Though, your smarts did not just come from you paying attention in class, it came from late-night work and intense studying on weekends. 

He had learned later on that you could not afford a cram school, so you would often cram by yourself, into ungodly hours on weekdays, and you’d come to class looking like a zombie and he’d snicker only to have you either ignore him or snap back.

Nevertheless, Kei grew to care for you and Yamaguchi noticed. He’d notice how Kei’s advances at making fun of you died down quite a bit afterward, and if he saw you struggling with something, he’d voluntarily walk over to you and offer to help you—surprising Yamaguchi, and himself in many ways, but what blew his mind was how you’d take his help despite the number of times you’d snapped at him, and you’d thank him, genuinely, making his heart feel full.

You’d started calling him Tsukki by the end of that year, and you’d gotten into Karasuno as well. It was as if the three of you were destined now, and slowly, he realized he developed feelings for you.

And even then, it was you who asked him out. Your face was red, your hands were behind your back, hoping that he’d not see that you were practically shaking, and you were a bit scared that he’d make fun of you. The year had just started, and his practice was going to keep him busy, but you liked him. You liked everything about Tsukishima Kei starting from the teasing, the relentless sarcasm, and the unbridled dedication, which was only masked by his nonchalant demeanor. 

But, it surprised you when no teasing ensued. You could never forget the way he looked right then—red faced, hand covering half his jaw, looking away from you like his life was on the line.

     “Y-Yeah, I know. You free this weekend?”

Kei thought of you every single day after Yamaguchi told him you were dating someone else. He’d think of you with someone, laughing at their jokes, holding their hand, letting them smell your hair or watch you smile, get the chance to see your eyes glisten toward them.

His thoughts now weren’t even that innocent; on odd days, in the loneliness his apartment brought him, Tsukishima thought of you kissing the boy you were dating, having his hands roam all over you, having some man ravage you instead of him. All Tsukishima could do was wonder what it would be like to take your first, what it would feel like to have his hands roam all over you—his thoughts, while not innocent, reflected how utterly alone he felt. 

And when Tsukishima woke up every single morning, his mind would go crawling back to you with guilt over how dirty his thoughts were the previous night. 

That evening, after practice, Tsukishima noticed Yamaguchi approach him, waving his hands, flailing them from side to side. Tsukishima rolled his eyes at his friend, who merely smiled at the blond before they walked out of the gym together.

     “What’s with you today?” 

Yamaguchi said, “She broke up with him.”

Tsukishima could not miss the way his heart skipped a beat at what Yamaguchi said. ‘She’ was automatically ‘you’, and that one vague sentence made so much sense to him that it had him thinking of how much you had him wrapped around your finger, without even knowing it. He turned to his friend, who merely nodded, and continued.

     “Apparently, he was too clingy. They’re in med school, and she’s not free at all. Now more so than it was in high school, and her senpai kept nagging at her for not spending enough time with her and she called it off a few days ago.”

Tsukishima did not hide the smirk that sat on his lips. 

     “She was always the individualistic type.” He commented, his voice low.

     “Yeah,” Tadashi nodded, “She needs her space, that (y/n).”

Tsukishima was in a way glad that you considered Yamaguchi so close. Some part of his mind wondered if the reason you told Yamaguchi such intricate details of your life was because you wanted him to know about you. Maybe, you knew Tadashi would ultimately tell Kei about everything, and maybe that was what you wanted.

     “Tsukki,” Yamaguchi voiced, “I can’t do this anymore...”

His eyes widened at his friend’s sudden revelation.

     “What do you mean?”

     “Maybe, (y/n)-chan tells me these things hoping I’d not tell you. Maybe, she wants me to tell you, either way, this is exhausting. You still love her, and she... she’s still trying to wrap her head around whatever it is she’s feeling and I feel like I’m caught in the middle here.”

Tsukishima knew that he could feel this way, but there was no way he could allow himself to lose the one thing that linked him to you. That one thing being Yamaguchi. 

     “Yama—”

     “Tsukki, please.”

Kei turned away before pressing his lips into a thin line. He understands, but he doesn’t like it. Yamaguchi knows that his friend doesn’t appreciate it, but the fact that Tsukishima Kei would never wish for someone’s unhappiness over his selfish desires was what kept their friendship going. 

*

Just as he was about to fall asleep that night, his phone rings. He’d not miss the number anywhere, his eyes were saucers as they were staring at your name on his phone screen, calling him at 1 a.m., almost as if you were used to calling him all these months.

His fingers ghost around the phone screen before deciding to pick the call, his heart rummaging in his chest the entire time.

     “(y/n)?”

     “Tsukki?”

In that one utterance, Tsukishima knew something was wrong. You weren’t yourself, there was something different, something that showcased that you were not entirely sane at that second. His stomach plummeted to the bottom when he realized what was actually going on.

     “Are you... are you drunk?”

You let out a bitter laugh before scoffing, “No, you’re drunk. Loser.”

He was suddenly very, very annoyed. He instantly got up, grabbing his jacket, checking the time once again before getting shocked once again at how careless you were being.

     “Where the hell are you? I’m coming to get you—”

     “I’m being followed, Tsukki.”

He could puke right now. In all his 20 years of life, he has never felt this scared. He felt the back of his eyelids burn, begging him to let himself cry, but if he had a breakdown it would only delay in getting to you. He needed to get you safe, he needed to ensure that you were within four walls, untouched, unscathed. 

     “Where are you?”

     “Inside a 7 Eleven... I think this is the one near Sendai?”

He knows where you are, but that doesn’t give him any sort of relief. 

     “Stay there. Do you understand me? Stay right there, and don’t fucking hang up.”

He doesn’t even bother to take his wallet, Tsukishima bolts out of his apartment, locking it, running towards the particular store you were in. He spots you from outside, you were not dressed provocatively, a fact that he was grateful for, and rushed inside to grab you by your wrist. You instantly pulled away, before looking up and realizing it was Tsukishima. 

Your eyes widened at his sudden arrival before he noticed how flushed your face was. You were so beautiful, it was breathtaking, but right now, all he could feel was unbridled anger.

     “No one’s following you, (y/n). What the fuck is wrong with you? Why did you—”

     “I was being paranoid? Man, I really need to sit down—”

     “Who left you here?” Tsukishima asked, anger bubbling in his chest.

He pulled you out of the store before leading you to his apartment. Walking with you there would take you ten minutes easily, but this part he didn’t care. He was glad that you were safe, but he was still angry at how careless your actions were.

     “My ex left me there. He wanted to talk about something, I think? But I just didn’t want to listen to him,” Kei looked at you from the side, his hand wrapped around your wrist, “I kept chugging one drink after another because I was just...”

He saw the eye bags under your eyes and he saw how dry your lips were. You were clearly dehydrated, and you looked devastatingly tired. Med school wasn’t a walk in the park, but seeing you like this, almost defeated, somehow reminded him of himself.

     “...I was just so tired.”

Kei’s eyes did not leave your form. He was hyperaware that the two of you hadn’t reached home yet, and whatever conversation he was going to have with you, he understood that right now wasn’t the best time. You were intoxicated, and by the looks of it, you were probably not going to remember anything of what was happening at the moment. 

A few more minutes later, Tsukishima had dragged you into his apartment, and latched the door behind him. He was grateful that he didn’t need to share his space with anyone, which meant he could avoid idiotic questions like ‘who’s the girl?’ or ‘it’s so late in the night, though?’, because right then, all Tsukishima wanted was answers from you, whether you were in a drunken stupor or not. Handing you a large glass of water and glaring at you until you drank it, Kei forced you to sit on the edge of his bed and watched you keenly.

     “Apparently senpai wanted to get back together,” You said, surprisingly sounding a lot less drunk. 

But, judging from your eyes and the way you were unable to focus on his unmoving form, which was right in front of you, he was certain that the alcohol was still in your system. Kei’s heart went out to how sad you actually looked, your light pink sweater was still neat, your jeans unstained, your hair tied in a messy bun—you weren’t dressed for drinks. It was perhaps either spontaneous or you were pushed to a point where you were so pissed off that drinking seemed the only way out.

     “Did he... Did he do anything?”

Tsukishima felt stupid for even attempting to ask you this, but he calmed down when he saw you smile to yourself.

     “No, I had pepper spray in my pocket.”

     “Had?”

     “I think I lost it now.”

Kei wanted to slap himself. You weren’t always like this. You weren’t someone who would resort to something so dangerous and reckless. He couldn’t help but think if this was in some way your method of coping, your method of healing from the breakup—was this your breakup formula, the inevitable course of action that you were supposed to take after he broke your heart?

     “I ended up calling my other ex.” You laughed, somewhat bitterly, causing Tsukishima’s stomach to drop.

You were drunk, but you clearly knew who he was and where you were. You may have been a lightweight but somehow, he was impressed with how you were holding your liquor, Kei leaned down in front of you and just watched you, his eyes were surprisingly soft, his fingers dying to touch you—unafraid because he knew you would not remember these moments with him. 

     “I don’t want to tell you anything I’ll regret in the morning,” You whispered, causing his eyes to widen.

     “What does that mean?” He asked, desperately, inching closer to you, but being sure to not make you uncomfortable.

You shook your head before blinking away tears that threatened to come your way. Tsukishima gaped, breathless, at how even intoxicated, you were the single most breathtaking person he had ever laid his eyes on.

     “Please sleep.” He said, standing up, and leaving you in his room. He wasn’t going to fit on the couch, but there was no other option. 

Even if his bed could fit the both of you, Kei would rather you sleep well and comfortably, than he would. Besides, he was sure that if he slept beside you (or even on the couch), he wouldn’t get to stay asleep for long either way.

When you wake up, you took a few seconds to bolt upwards, check your surroundings and then yourself. Your wallet, keys to your apartment, and your hair tie were on a table beside the bed, where a couple of aspirin and a water bottle was placed too. Getting up too fast was not good for you, your head spun around so sharply that you were inches away from puking.

     “Where...?”

A moment later, you got up from the bed—after having taken the medicine and water, left there by god knows who, you inched your way to the living room of this strange person, wanting to thank them for sheltering you for the night. You felt shame hit your veins, you can’t believe you had done something like this—especially alone; and you could only wonder if a creep had sheltered you.

But, the person you saw on the couch was Tsukishima Kei, your ex-boyfriend from high school, struggling to stay asleep on the couch. Your heart broke at the sight of the tall boy, barely fitting into the couch, knowing full well that another step and he’ll wake up.

On odd days, you wondered why he broke up with you. On odd days, you missed him so much that you could cry. On days like today, your heart was barely fill and you were certain that a certain blond was the reason you craved doing reckless things—reckless because some part of you wished with all it had that he would come save you. He stirred awake, almost alerted by how you were just standing there, without making a sound. 

When his eyes met yours, he scoffed rudely—as expected—before sitting up, and leaning his head against the headrest. 

     “Tsukishima—”

     “I knew med students were crazy, but wow,” Your eyes widened at his words, “What the fuck, (l/n)?”

You had descended down to your last name with him, and the acknowledgement of it shattered your heart. You felt tears prick your eyes instantly, but you were not going to show any sort of weakness in front of him, not after last night—not after whatever could have happened.

     “What happened last night?” You couldn’t bare the sound of your voice, at how groggy and hungover you sounded.

Tsukishima made it evident that he didn’t like it too, but chose to keep his words to himself.

     “Nothing dirty happened, just you, throwing yourself into a depressing pit of alcohol drinking and embarrassing yourself.”

You frowned. There was no need for him to be plain mean about it. Sure, he had helped you, but that was it, right?

     “Thanks for last night.” You wanted to ignore his words, you wanted to let it go and not fuel him into saying anything more. 

     “I won’t be surprised if this happens again, you know? Judging from how you’ve turned out—”

     “Tsukishima!” You snapped, causing him to wince at his own words.

He didn’t dare look at you. He knew he had crossed the line, he knew he had said something to deliberately hurt you, and that had hurt you, but facing you would break him. What a coward, his mind scolded him, before he heard shuffling coming from where you stood. 

     “You see, I’m not surprised,” You said, pressing your lips together. “You were always this bitter.”

Tsukishima could hear your voice break. Way to go, he thought, you made her cry again. He gulped before attempting to turn to you, but he noticed that your back was facing him now—making him feel somewhat relieved, but scared at the same time. 

I am so glad you’re okay, was what he wanted to say.

     “No shit,” was what came out.

He noticed how your shoulders trembled now, as you reached down to grab your shoes. Tsukishima wanted to stand up and stop you, hold you in his embrace and beg for you to stay because if it were him, he’d not even dare give himself another chance—but you, you were forgiving and kind and gentle, all things that drove him up the wall yet made him fall so devastatingly in love with you.

Please don’t go, he wanted to say.

     “Get out, (l/n),” was what came out.

You shook your head, “I can’t believe I’m like this because of you.”

Tsukishima felt the wind get knocked out of him, but before he could stop you, before he could find answers or any sort of confirmation at what you said, before he could even think of what was going on, unfortunately for him, he was frozen to where he stood and was forced to watch you leave. 

He felt his fingers shake, and he looked down at his hands, which got blurrier and blurrier at each second, as he fought the urge to slap himself. Of course, he thought internally, if he was a mess of a human being, finding unhealthy coping mechanisms by trying to learn about what you were doing, stalking your social media, staring at pictures of you from Yamaguchi’s profile, reading his old chats with you, and everything that would perhaps never let him move on from you; then so were you.

He was the one who broke up with you, after all. If anything, you’d be the one in a much, much more difficult path. 

Tsukishima did not go to class that day, and he missed practice. His captain called him multiple times, to which he merely replied saying he had the stomach bug—his captain was a lot like Kageyama, but for some reason, even he understood the importance of an optimum immune system and told Tsukishima he had to take the day off, no issues from that. Yamaguchi inquired about his sudden absence, but he merely said ‘I’m tired’ to him and left it at that.

But, oh boy, he was trying to call you, alright. 

Tsukishima perhaps would have called you fifteen times in the last hour, with each of those calls ignored. After the barrage of calls, he left a barrage of messages, each asking you to pick up or call him back, suddenly forgetting the need to act as if he was high and mighty—no, if you were hurting as well, and he was hurting beyond belief, he had to fix it. A dialogue was the only thing that could put things back to normal, and hell be with Tsukishima keeping face. If this meant that he had to bow down and scream an apology, then so be it.

Hey. Pick up.

Hey. Call me.

Please, call me back.

Are you busy? Call me.

I know you’re ignoring me, call me back.

(y/n). Please. Call me.

What if this was an emergency? Call me, (y/n).

Tsukishima looked at his own messages and thought about what was wrong with him. After almost a year and a half of radio silence, here he was, literally begging for you to call him back after he had done something so fucking idiotic. He had a lot more to apologize for, he knew it, but he could only do so if you gave him that chance.

It was around 7 p.m., when you called back. 

     “(y/n)—”

     “I had lab time, Tsukishima. What do you want?”

You were busy. You were perhaps so busy you couldn’t check your phone. Of course, you were studying to become a doctor. You weren’t ignoring him. Somehow, this fact resonated well with his heart. Even your ‘what do you want’ sounded more tired than angry, and he could hear the lag in your voice to confirm the same.

     “I need to talk to you—”

     “Well, you made it clear that you didn’t want anything to do with me earlier today.”

     “Please,” He felt so out of character, but right then he didn’t care, “Let me see you.”

     “I...” He heard you sigh deeply, “I can’t today, really. I missed lab work yesterday because... because of that stupid bar night, and now I have to make up for the lost time. I’ll probably be here studying all night.”

     “Okay then.”

You were confused when he cut the call, but you assumed he was just tired of trying. You weren’t making an excuse; you stared at your phone, where just a moment ago your ex-boyfriend’s name was flashed up. You lick your lips and realize it’s been four hours since you had a sip of water. You clearly weren’t taking good care of yourself, and if Tsukishima was still with you, he’d reprimand you to no end.

Oh, you missed him. 

You missed how he’d scold you for these reckless things you’d do. He knew about your habit of never drinking water, just surviving on licking your lips and sipping water after meals here and there. He hated that bit about you and he made it his personal responsibility to ensure you drank at least a bottle of water whenever he was around. 

You missed the way he cared for you, so subtle yet loud—it resonated like his personality and you’d sometimes find yourself caring about your well-being because he cared; and even though the motivation here was incorrect, it brought the desired result regardless.

You missed him so much, it was like suddenly having lost a part of your body. It was as though you had lost an arm or leg but still instinctively reach out to feel your missing limb or try to walk again, placing your entire weight on something that was no longer there.

Swallowing the intense feelings you were experiencing, you buried yourself into the work you had ignored the previous evening and started to work. Medical school was exhausting even without the emotional baggage you managed to carry with you every single day.

What you expected would take you a couple of hours merely extended and you were in the lab till 2 a.m. Your eyelids were heavier than they had ever been before and you felt like your legs were jelly. You didn’t care about the way you looked right then, but you were certain that you looked half-dead. You couldn’t remember the last time you had eaten, and you noticed that the water bottle you had got for yourself earlier that day was still untouched. 

Sighing, you grab your things and prepared to trek all the way home. A simple walk would feel like a trek, your feet felt like they were bleeding from the soles. However, the second you stepped out through the hospital exit (the college exit was closed), your footsteps came to a halt.

Tsukishima sat there, by the bench near the parking and your heart skipped a beat. What is he...?

He noticed movement from the side of his view and spotted you there. He instantly stood up, before realizing that you were busy (once again), of how you poured your all into everything that you cared about. This only made him wonder how much you had poured yourself into him.

     “What are you doing here?”

You sounded so tired, it was so strange. He had never heard you sound almost defeated—he took one good look at you then; chapped lips, dark circles, disheveled hair; he knew you were dehydrated, hungry, exhausted and you had not once thought of these things.

     “I’m hungry.”

You blink and sigh, “Tsukishima, I’ve had a long—”

     “Please, come with me.”

You’ve never heard him say please so many times in one day. Your heart is weak for him still, and you follow him to the nearest 7 Eleven. You were wearing your white coat, a purple full sleeved top and the same jeans you were last night. You looked to find him wearing exactly what he was wearing that morning when you saw him, the black full sleeve tee, brown jacket and blue jeans. No matter what he wore, he always managed to look so devastatingly beautiful. 

     “Eat something.” 

You didn’t have the energy to argue with him, you bought a sandwich for yourself and he got some ramen (for some reason, he chose your favorite flavor), and the two of you went out to sit by a park bench, isolated from the world. Your apartment was merely a five-minute walk from where you were, but that didn’t matter right then.

     “You obviously still like me.” He said, somehow his voice not condescending or witty.

     “Obviously.” You admit, because you were too tired to argue.

You heard him chuckle, but you were busy eating your sandwich, the bottle of water beside you suddenly looked like the most tempting thing in the world. What you missed was how Tsukishima’s hands were trembling as he linked them together in front of him, leaning forward on where he sat. 

     “You’re an asshole, you know that?” You say, realizing the sandwich did nothing to quench your hunger.

     “I know.” He sounded so defeated, before turning to you and handing you the cup ramen.

I knew he was going to do this, you thought, tears pricking your eyes. He bought your favorite flavor because he knew.

Tsukki, you took the cup ramen without hesitation, you can’t do this to me.

     “Why,” You stared at the cup ramen, “Why can’t you just tell me what’s on your mind?”

You heard no response from him. You took exactly two sips from the water bottle and dug into the cup ramen. But you stopped eating midway, shaking your head. 

     “Kei,” You jumped to third year high school again, “Please, I can’t... I will leave if you don’t stop me.”

There was no attempt made. You turned to see him staring at the ground, emotionlessly. You couldn’t decipher what you were feeling, but you certainly couldn’t try to decipher what he was feeling either. His silence left you breathless, all of a sudden you want to cry and scream, you wonder what you did wrong, you wonder what happened—why was he the way he was? Did you make him mistrust you in anyway?

A sob exited your mouth, but your trembling lips capture the rest. 

However, Tsukishima Kei’s trembling hands raised to his face and he cried; your eyes widening at his sudden reveal. You quickly place the cup ramen to your side and turn to face him, your sweet boy, the boy you had so willingly given your heart to, crying his heart out, sobs ugly, tears streaking down his gorgeous face. The sight kills you.

     “It’s so fucking hard to see you happy,”

You’re confused, but you knew he didn’t mean the words to their exact meaning. There had to be something else. He didn’t want you to be happy? What the fuck?

     “And I’m not there...”

Ah.

     “You... You don’t need me and that kills me...”

You were quick to kneel down in front of him, your fingers trembling, your knee trembling, your legs quivering, but your heart was strong enough. All you needed right now was your heart.

     “I don’t need you,” Your voice was a whisper only he could hear. 

Kei rolled his eyes, and you noticed how wet they were from the crying. Your right hand wiped some of the tears from his face before you took a breath.

     “But I want you. Always, always you.”

It was Kei’s turn to meet your gaze. You were staring at him, a soft smile on your features.

Why was it that it was always you who would assure him when things were wrong? Why was it that you were always saving him? Either from a misunderstanding, a fight or most often, from himself?

He felt so weak when he was around you. He didn’t know if it was a curse or a blessing.

     “No one compares to you. And as bad as that sounds, I couldn’t stop thinking of you, no matter who I’m with. No one compares to your brash, asshole self.”

You let out a giggle and notice how wide his eyes were. You want to kiss him, but you hold back.

     “I love you so much, but it’s hard, Kei... It’s hard if you don’t give me bit of an edge, you know?”

Your hand which was on his face, Kei suddenly took it and kissed the back of it, surprising you. 

     “I love you,” He kisses it again, “I am so in love with you.”

You could only smile. You leaned forward, before pressing your lips to his; Tsukishima could feel how chapped your lips were, but that didn’t stop him from kissing you back fervently. His hand rushed to the side of your face, before pressing you to him, not hard enough that you fall down—he was painfully aware of how tired you were. He pulled away before pecking your lips a few times, kissing below your lower lip and staring at you, lovingly.

     “All of this pain could have been avoided if you just accepted what you were feeling, you know that right?”

You were right. 

You were always right when it came to him, no one knew him as well as you did. You knew every inch of his soul because it belonged to you, and there was no taking back. And while he was aware that he had to work on some aspects of himself, Kei suddenly felt confident. Looking at you, kneeling in front of him like that, despite how tired you were, despite how shitty of a day it had been, he was sure that with you, he could do anything.

Suddenly, his mind travelled back to your desk in class 3-4, with the inscription that he could not stop touching back on the day of your graduation. 

kei + y/n

A simple jumble of words. Enough to break his heart, or make it. He wondered if he’ll ever tell you he created a small forever for the both of you in that classroom.

Well, he thought, forcing you to drink water, Maybe someday.