#this forever and ever <3 i love when bands do demos with vocals by a band member who's not the usual singer

[weareholloway]

Thank you, for everything 💙

After seven years, Holloway has come to a close. Thank you to all the individuals who made this band what it was - you know who you are, we will never forget you 💙

Holloway: The Unreleased Material

Hi, Lou here 👋

Embedded below is all of the noteworthy unreleased music from the Holloway vault - the sounds and ideas that the band was actively working on before the decision to end things.

These tracks represent new ideas and sonic directions Holloway may have taken had the project continued - I'm very proud of the songwriting on show here and it feels good to share these tracks as they were first conceived - demos recorded in our bedrooms, living rooms, on the road and in spare minutes between the chaotic life changes we've navigated this year.

A lot of that chaos, doubt and uncertainty shows through in these tracks - along with excitement, tragedy, romance and growth.

I hope you'll appreciate these as what they are - rough, raw, honest, imperfect but sincere.

Best enjoyed on good headphones with the lights off...

Love,

- Lou

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This would have been the next Holloway release. The song is professionally recorded, but unmixed.

This is some of my best sampling/electronic work - everything you hear in the first 5 seconds is just my voice, chopped, pitched and arranged to create the soundscape that you hear.

This song was written a long time ago now, and we ran out of creative steam on it a few times in favour of newer and shinier things, but it had to be included here at the top; sunk cost and all that.

The drums were recorded with Sam Higham, bass and guitar with Sam Minot, and vocals with Jake Stokes - hence the fire recording quality. EDrums, Synths, samples and dubstep bullshit by me. Enjoy.

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The Summer Endz is my overly personal treatise on the autumnal disintegration of a summer romance.

I always pride my self on the hyper-specificity of my lyrics, and this song is a perfect example. This is a snapshot of myself at a point in time, an audio photograph I'll carry forever but seldom look at.

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Pavementz is my ultimate collection of notes on inflicting physical distance onto a relationship. I wrote it during the process of moving to a new city and, while full of hope, it expresses the insecurity and doubt that comes with any such transition.

I'm particularly proud of the sheer amount of hooks I packed into this thing. If anyone ever needed proof I'm a pop songwriter, this song is it. Every section feels like a chorus. Shit would have been a hit. It's already stuck in your head. You're welcome.

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This is the sound of something beginning. The story in this song speaks for itself.

We'd wanted to write a 'slow build' type song for years, and when Max sent me the instrumental idea, I knew this was it. This song became a staple of our live set in the twilight months of the band. We had started opening every show with it - once you listen, you'll understand why.

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Though short and incomplete, this track features numerous sonic ideas that I'd been wanting to mess with for ages.

I regret that we never got to take this to the stage - The drum & bass beat mixed with analogue bass and guitar is a combination that works a little too well... have fun.

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This is an introspective, off-genre brain dump I wrote in a weird time signature and a fractured state of mind.

I had a list of things to do in my notes app mixed with disparate lyric ideas and other shit. I couldn't make it work over a 3/4 groove so I just added a beat at the end of every 4th bar and it flowed perfectly.

The name comes from a line early in the book American Gods. It was going to be the name of our eventual album but it felt right for this weird, unfinished song that spills so much of my guts despite its premature conclusion.

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[secretradiobrooklyn]

SECRET RADIO | 9.26.20

Secret Radio | 9.26.20 |  Hear it here.

“We don’t know where you are but we’re glad you’re here”

Liner notes by Evan, except * means Paige

1. Ayalew Mesfin - “Hasabe (My Worries)”

This track comes to us via Marc Hawthorne in San Francisco and is some hot Ethiopian stomp. Marc has been turning me on to crucial music for years, but I feel like both of our palates have expanded in unexpected directions lately. I love how foreign and how relatable this song sounds at once — “hasabe” really does sound like a guy singing about his worries, which makes it feel like he’s speaking the same language. 

2. Witch - “Introduction”

Such a commandingly hip voice announcing the band and getting us all in the groove. Witch is Zambian rock in a pretty unhinged style — apparently WITCH stands for “We Intend To Create Havoc,” which if true is basically the greatest band name ever. 

3. Erkin Koray - “Cemelim”

Every time I hear this track I think of Jefferson Airplane’s foreboding sense of dark anticipation. The added frills of shifting into Turkish bent-note vocals takes it up another level. This track is from 1974 but carries the whole psychedelic ‘60s wave forward in an unbroken wave. As we mentioned, the video is worth checking out not just because the singer/guitarist is mesmerizing or because the bassist is inherently hilarious but because their outfits are legendary. Our thanks to Brian and Mona for the heads up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-k_Fr67bPQ

4. The Velvet Underground - “Coney Island Steeplechase”

“Lies and betrayals / fruit-covered nails” — naw, just kiddin, this song happens long before Pavement, or the Strokes for that matter. I never really understood what people meant when they said that the Strokes sound like VU, but listening to this song in headphones it kinda feels like the Julian Casablancas built an entire career off Lou’s vocal delivery on this song. And who could blame him? Lou wasn’t usin it anymore.

Hailu Mergia - “Sintayehu”

We got this record during the pandemic and it has been like a stress dissolver. There’s a tape that we got in Manhattan Kansas at a house show we played, a band called Casino Gardens, that I think of every time we hear this album. Not the same in particulars, but very much the same in spirit.

5. Divino Niño - “Melty Caramelo”

One of Sleepy Kitty’s first tours was with Divino Niño (thanks, Brandon!) just as they were assembling, and they have always been a band of fellows we enjoy as much as the music that they write. I did this set of dates with a broken bone in my swole-up, purple right hand, which I wouldn’t recommend to any drummers out there. I will say though that every single drummer in the bar that night told me that they had broken the same exact bone the same way. Not by drumming but by punching an inanimate object. 

6. Moodoïd - “Je suis la montagne”

I think this song is a benefit of Paige learning French for the last couple of years. Found it on a 3.5 hour French mix on Spotify.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCuthCn8zxs

7. Sleepy Kitty - “Dreaming of Waterfalls” demo *

There are like, 7 people who have heard this song until now. This song came pretty mysteriously to me after a completely transformative trip to Kauaʻi for the wedding of ace folks and dear friends Stewart and Trenton. People who have gone to Hawaiʻi have always told me how amazing Hawaiʻi is and how it’ll change your life and it’s the best place in the entire world, and I was always like, “ok, sure whatever” until we went and now I am forever changed. I won’t get too into it here, but it’s all totally true and as amazing as they say. I can’t remember if this song was literally in the dream I had in San Diego the night we returned to the contiguous 48, or if it somehow emerged out of thinking of that dream, but it basically just appeared and I thought about it and thought about it and kept it in my head the whole plane ride back to St. Louis and recorded it pretty much immediately when we got back. I played 2 songs at our friends’ wedding on uke (where I was relieved to get approval from the Hawaiian family, ha ha) and it’s still a very unfamiliar instrument to me but it was the only answer for this song.

This is also one of a few recordings I made shortly before the first of 2 vocal surgeries around that time. It was kind of a stressful time musically; I was still figuring out what was going on, knowing something was wrong, getting hoarse all the time but not knowing what was going on yet.  Learning the songs for the wedding, and this song and this recording are positive memories in what was a very uncertain period in Sleepy Kitty life. I can definitely remember the challenges and limitations of that time, but it’s great to have this beautiful little moment that came out of that time too. When I hear this now, I like it and I’m glad to have it. It transports me back to that magical place and I’m thankful to Stewart and Trenton for having us there to celebrate with them.

8. The Fall - “Arms Control Poseur” (Bonus Version) (whatever that means)

“What do you fear?”

“Being found out.”

“The why do you always give yourself away?”

After initially being repulsed by The Fall, I eventually had what felt like essentially a religious experience after falling asleep listening to them on repeat in the tour bus — somehow their perverse aesthetic had become grafted into my DNA. I became an avid proselytizer for the band, with few takers, for years. Eventually I kind of gave up, baffled both by how intensely I felt their music and how immune everyone else apparently was to it. 

Cut to years later in an apartment on North Ave in Chicago, watching Paige bike up the street towards the window where I stood. She apologized as she walked her bike up the stairs. Sorry I’m late, she said, I just got caught up in the Fall. I don’t know how to explain it. You don’t understand, The Fall is not like other bands.

I literally thought that she was teasing me, and that I must have talked her ear off about the band at some point. But NO — she’d had the exact sort of conversion experience as me. In her case it was to “Extricate,” which was one of my very favorite albums, being the second one I personally owned. 

Still, this record’s aesthetic is completely dominant in my life. I couldn’t even guess how many times I’ve listened to it, and it still fascinates me every time.

“I quite very very much enjoyed 

his jovial lies

lying”

9. T.P. Orchestre Poly-Rythmo - “Wodeka Kpoe”

The day I found this track I was completely distracted by it. It’s so muscular and lean and intense. I love everything about the almost metallic drum sound, the dry vocals, the guitar telling its own narrative, the sharp little shaker going the whole time. It’s the closest thing to punk in Beninese music that I’ve heard. I read recently that this was on a 1983 Albarika Records comp LP (the person referred to the as “legendary,” but I don’t know to whom, or when), and when I looked it up a lot of other tracks that we love from the Soundway comp were there. But as far as I know, it’s not on any of those 21st century collections. So good!

10. Orchestre Abass - “Haka Dunia”

The cover of this 6-song burner shows a guy with a guitar behind a keyboard called TIGER 61, with his foot up on… what? the keys bench? There’s a single pedal on the floor that leads up into the keyboard. The sounds that come from that board though! This is a tone I think of as completely desirable. I guess this is also punk, this one from Togo. I mean, I have no idea what he/they think they’re doing, but to me it feels like it has all the stuff that I love in punk music.

Hailu Mergia

11. T.P. Orchestre de Cotonou Benin - “Moulon Devia”

I just realized this track can be found elsewhere, but I found it on a record credited to T.P. Orchestre Poly-Rythmo de Cotonou Benin, with a great photo of Yehouessi Leopold and Zoundegnon Papillon Bernard on the cover looking like the coolest dudes in the world cos they are. There are some great stereo panning effects, no doubt done live, on the horns at the beginning and the keys solo in the middle, which really enriches the headphone experience. This keys solo uses a suite of sounds that I absolutely love from them — and which are apparently the work of Papillon himself! I knew he was the guitarist who builds sand castles in the air of T.P. songs, but I only just realized that he’s also the guy throwing down those supper trippy Farfisa sounds! Holy smokes, that’s just ridiculous. He and Yehouessi are probably my favorite rhythm combo ever. PLUS they’ve got Bentho Gustave on bass, whose T.P. album was the first one we bought abroad. I mean, this track is so epic.

12. Patrick Juvet - “Où sont les femmes”*

I have a new awesome French teacher, who sends me cabaret songs to check out and says things like “I’m an old queen! What am I to do!” He played this song over Zoom for some live hold music while I was printing something for a recent lesson. I’m excited to hopefully hear more French music from him and also to hear more of his stories of discotheques in the 80s.

Evan adds: The video is well worth your attention as well, especially if you like red sequins glinting disco diamonds beneath deeply feathered hair. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zqc7mVZQNFo

13. Le Tigre - “Deceptacon”

This is one of the all-time top art school party songs as far as I know. And why the hell not? It’s pure Olympia, and all the hooks line up all the way down.

I video that someone made for school has essentially become the official video of the song because it’s totally awesome and fits like a pure expression of the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SyBR-M2YvU

14. Themne Song Track 1  

I don’t know who performed this track or what it’s called — it’s just identified as “Themne Song Track 1,” Themne being the name of a tribe in Sierra Leone. I think it might be a “comedian story teller” called Miranda T Denkenneh, but can’t tell.

I’ve been into Janka Nabay and the Bubu Gang for a couple of years now. Nabay is a Sierra Leonan musician who came to NYC and put together a band of hip NY musicians who make this rhythmically complex yet somehow austere dance music that I find totally fascinating. Reading up on them, he was described as translating the music he came from into a more electric style. Well, it turns out that is indeed the case, based on this track from Sierra Leone. This sounds like Janka Nabay but warm and large where his music is focused and tight. I totally see both how damn danceable this Themne 

One of my favorite things about discovering this song is: the notes on the YouTube track are exclusively from ex-pats loving music from home and the old days, calling out their tribe and checking in from wherever they are. One guy, Ibrahim Noah Koroma, writes from Senegal:

tears fall down in my eyes when I listing dis song missing u SL 🇸🇱🇸🇱💪💪💪 I'm proud of my tribe temne 💯💪💪💪

15. The Sugarcubes - “Regina”

The setup of this song is such an angular, proggy spiky comic thing, definitely cool in its own way, but man, when it hits the chorus, it’s absolutely the most gorgeous thing. The lyrics are truly bizarre, and they’re making me appreciate how this band impacted Bjork’s later work. One thing I don’t understand: does she pronounce “Regina” with a hard G because that’s how that word is pronounced in Icelandic? Or is that just something she does?

16. Gétatchèw Mèkurya - “Ambassèl”

The more we learn about Ethiopian jazz and popular music before and after their political strife, the more there is to learn. In fact, one thing I learned about Mèkurya is that he played with Dutch socialist punks The Ex, a band I have admired for a couple of decades now, though mostly because I’m stuck on their album “Scrabbling at the Lock.” They apparently toured together in the aughties… and all of a sudden I can hear how their very different sounds actually relate very aptly. Man. That’s enough to fall in love with music all over again.

Also, one fact that must be acknowledged: Gétatchèw is maybe the best first name ever.

17. Jacques Dutronc - “Et moi, et moi, et moi”

I just dropped these lyrics into Google translate and it turns out he’s got a very identifiable brand of humor — wry, confident, diffident. He always makes me think of Dylan with his delivery.

18. Meas Samon - “Jol Dondeung Kone Key (Going to Get Engaged)”

So much feel! Those key dives just to open the song, man, I don’t even know. And the vocals are spilling over with character — it’s like watching a movie unfold. This is Cambodian, from the late sixties or early seventies. Every time it gets to the keys solos I think about how much I want Dave Grelle to hear this track, like, right now. It’s between this and Abass for sickest keys distortion to be found.

19. T.P. Orchestre - “Senamin” *

What is up with this song? We came across it and kind of set it aside, and then it was just in my head all. the. time. At first I wasn’t sure about the 1996 movie version “I’d Be Surprisingly Good For You” style sax (my LEAST favorite song in Evita) But, even so this song is so...majestic! And mysterious! The haunting melodies dancing around together at the end really got me.  

20. Hallelujah Chicken Run Band - “Alikilula”

The constant interaction of 3s and 4s in Chicken Run songs never fails to delight me. The shapes of the songs are almost like Guided By Voices tracks — one good idea perfectly expressed, and then they’re outta there. 

21. Antoine Dougbé - “Nou Akuenon Hwlin Me Sin Koussio”

If I could pick one album for all of my friends to spin a few times in a row… that would not be easy. But lately, that record would be “Legends of Benin,” the totally headspinning comp put out by Analog Africa. Every track is a deep insight into what rock music can be. In the liner notes, Samy Ben Redjeb takes the listener on a whole record-buying expedition through the southern coast of west Africa, describing where he picked up particular LPs, falling into conversations with some of the musicians, and generally providing insights both romantic and invaluable. (His notes on Dougbé are worth the price of admission.) In one note he mentions talking to a friend about how Africa doesn’t seem to deal well in reggae, and he considers “Nou Akuenon” one of the best attempts on the continent. It hadn’t occurred to me to think of this as reggae… and I still don’t hear it that way. But I like thinking of the band reaching for reggae and making this instead. 

22. Francoise Hardy - “Les temps de l’amour”

23. Ros Sereysothea - Chnam oun Dop-Pram Muy “I’m 16”

I love how fully developed these Cambodian songs are. They’re not aping a particular song or building replicas of songs in English or French: they’re working in pop music just like anyone else. The arrangements are so tight and well structured, and everybody is adding in more than their share on their instruments. Though Ros’s voice steals the show, the backing vocals on this song are especially good as well.

24. Aerovons - “Say Georgia”

Man, one of the pleasures of living in St. Louis was learning the story of The Aerovons, a group of high school kids who got flown across the Atlantic to record at Abbey Road with all of the same gear and technicians who were busy putting together records for The Beatles… only to have the album go unreleased for decades. It’s truly a reminder to appreciate the experience itself and not just the results. These guys experienced the absolute pinnacle of the studio recording dream — there is none higher — but that’s it. None of the fame or the attendant glory, just the knowledge of what they’d been able to do together.

“Texas Thunder Soul 1968-1974”

25. Ravi Shankar - Jazzmine - “Mishrank (Finale)”

The whole “Jazzmine” album is a mindblower, and it’s almost a shame to cut right to the finale of an album that builds its case song by song, illustrating the paths that Shankar’s raga and jazz take toward each other, from “Melodic Moods” to the amazing tabla solos of “Taalank” to “Deshank (Folk Patterns)” to crest with “Mishrank,” where Zep meets jazz club meets Somalian backroom in an Indian realm. Every solo brings a ton of new information about whose voices are adding to this total experience. And more than anything, it sounds like fun.

One thing I dig about this recording is that, as far as I can tell, more than one performance of this song is spliced together into this single track. That seems like a big no-no among jazz folks, but I really don’t mind it one bit — if anything, that helps me hear the song relative to more jarring experimental tape manipulation bands. 

[hmel78]

In conversation with Doogie White ...

Circa 1994, when it was announced that guitarist Ritchie Blackmore was reforming Rainbow, rumours flooded the music community regarding who might feature in the line-up, but ultimately it was a collective of relative unknowns who made it onto the new record, and the tour bus ...

The album, “Stranger In Us All”, was issued under the name “Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow” in August 1995, and features Paul Morris on keyboards, Greg Smith on bass, John O’Reilly on drums, Blackmore’s Night’s Candice Night on background vocals, and fronted by Doogie White, the singer was an inspired choice; a huge fan of Ritchie’s career in both Purple and Rainbow, the singer formed a strong writing partnership with the guitarist. The album includes a reworking of The Yardbirds’ ‘Still I’m Sad’, which had been recorded for Rainbow’s debut, 20 years earlier ; Ritchie’s classical flights of fancy are truly achieved on his arrangement of Edvard Grieg’s ‘Hall Of The Mountain King’, and tracks such as ‘Wolf To the Moon’, ‘Hunting Humans (Insatiable)’ and ‘Ariel’ proved themselves to be worthy additions to the Rainbow catalogue. When it came to playing live, songs from both Rainbow and Purple were revisited, and fans are lucky enough - on the re-issue of “Stranger In Us All” -  to be presented with a unique live recording from a 1995 Swedish concert, of ‘The Temple Of The King’ - it also features a radio edit of the single ‘Ariel’, plus the song ‘Emotional Crime’ that has previously only been released in Japan.

Accompanying the extensive liner notes is a personal account from singer Doogie White, plus plenty of artwork and memorabilia from Doogie’s own Rainbow collection.

Doogie White has had a pretty extensive career as a singer / songwriter since his days with Rainbow - We caught up with him whilst on a train to Mannheim to find out more ...

HR : Having been a fan of Rainbow prior to joining them in 1994, how did it feel to suddenly have such a prominent role in the band?

Doogie White : It was a huge moment for me in every way.   There I was, a cheeky upstart who had long admired all that Ritchie did, being personally asked by him to come to America and join his band. He knew nothing about me and I thought I knew all about him. We hit it off straight away from the first notes we played together. We played old Purple and Rainbow songs and some bar band standards and jammed a few ideas just for him to see what I could do on the improvisation front.

I was only supposed to be there 4 days but he asked me to stay for a week. We discussed what kind of album we wanted to make. We played football. He did some magic tricks and we jammed for hours.

We had a good and healthy working relationship and a fine friendship. I knew my place and was happy to be part of his new adventure. He shared his hopes and fears. He trusted me.

I think we made a fine album with some good songs and a couple of real Rainbow classics. There were a couple we compromised on and we did have better ideas but we never finished them so that they could not be released as “bonus” tracks at a later date. I know how much he hated the re released Purple stuff with alternate takes.

I have hours of material but it’s in the Loft ...

HR : Despite the sudden nature of the break-up in 1997, was the overall experience of those 3 years a positive one?

DW : Yes!  Even at the very end when I decided it was here and no further,  it was all good and positive. It was sad of course as I felt there was more work to do and I had given him a tape with 6 song ideas for the next album. Some ended up on Cornerstone’s HUMAN STAIN and another on a TANK album. I treated my time in Rainbow like Ali treated the Heavyweight Crown.   It was the wrong time for the kind of music we were doing but we did it anyway.

Despite what Ritchie says, or in most cases does not say, we got on well until we did not.  His choice not mine. HR : To me it has always seemed strange that it literally ended over night - like a political coup d’etat! - Especially as You seemed to fit Ritchies criteria perfectly ; with what you contributed as both performer and writer. There are many citations which suggest that through Your input, there was a wider range of material that could be performed live, and also Ritchie stated [at the time] that Stranger In Us All was the best thing he had recorded to date - does  that reflect how You felt whilst working with him and Rainbow?  

DW : I don’t think Stranger In Us All is the best thing he did. I don’t even think it’s the best thing I have done. That’s just him promoting the album. It has its place and that is for others to judge. It was a good album though!

I just followed his lead. If he wanted to go off and jam some blues of folk or silly songs I was there as were the rest of the band (Greg Smith, John O’Reilly or Chuck Burgi, Paul Morris, and others) to back him up. He knew that we knew what was required, and also knew what I could bring to the party - he exploited that to the max some nights! He has said he does not like fun and that music is a serious business, but for anyone who saw that ‘95 tour you know that there was some serious music and some serious fun on stage! We were enjoying each other and pushing each other. He’s quite talented like that.

Then others got his ear and were feeding him negative stuff, whispering’s, designed to disrupt him, for his ears only and that was unhelpful - but it suited their agenda and just made him more suspicious, which he had never been with me before.

No one in the band was doing anything other than enjoying being in the band and RAWKin on stage every night. There were no egos just a happy band doing the best they could every night,  and those who saw it knew it was good. I did say if he had a problem with me, for him to come to me and we could sort it out - But that is not his nature and he never did. So when it came down to it he was prepared to believe what he wanted and what he was being told and have things done in his name that were quite frankly beneath the man. When his management were being obstructive I wrote directly to him and he honoured all his commitments to me and made sure that his management paid what was due at the time. That’s how it should be.

HR : And that’s where it stopped  - until now ... “Stranger In Us All” has just been re-released and given a new lease of life?

DW : Yes they have pumped out the frequencies and it really sounds lot better than the flat linear sound of the original.

We should have added some of the extra tracks I have of the demos. But there are far too many hoops to jump through and it would mean new agreements between him and I. That’s not a path he wants to walk. HR : No, understood - but going back to when the original album was released - Obviously you were unaware of the fact that it would be the only recording that Rainbow would make at the time (possibly the last ever one?)  - does it change the way that you feel about it? Do you ever listen to it?

DW : I don’t listen to it at all. I don’t listen to anything I have done other than a couple of times when I get it. Occasionally something will pop up randomly on my iTunes and and a wee nostalgic smile passes my lips. But actually with SIUA - I remember every ounce of effort ; every change of lyric, key, tempo - So it has a different flavour for me than for others. I am proud of it, yet I know that we could have done better. But I was new to the big spotlight and while I stood my ground for a bit every now and again, it was Ritchie’s band and he got to do what he wanted.  Pat [Regan] was producing it and had his instructions on how to guide me.   I was just happy to be waking up every day knowing that today was going to be a new adventure.

I had so much fun all the time. Even when the dark clouds were hovering as they kinda did for the last while. His management did go out of their way to make band, and on the road, life a little less inclusive or welcoming ... But It was that 90 mins on stage that made anything worthwhile.

From what people have told me it’s a shame he now has such a distorted view of our time together. But it’s not my business and I don’t care what he thinks about it or how he feels about me.  I have seen some of the comments attributed to him that people send me. He really does re write his own history and I always have a good giggle at some of the nonsense he comes out with.   He loved it at the time, but to be fair it was a long long time ago and perhaps NOT the most important endeavour he has done musically. I look back at it slightly differently because it was VERY important to me. It was the best of times and will never be repeated for him, or for me.

HR : Well thankfully it didn’t deter you from carrying on! You have been involved with many great artists and projects during your career - have you any particular favourite memories?

DW : My memory palace is overflowing with errr memories from my times with LA PAZ  and CORNERSTONE, YNGWIE and SCHENKER, through TANK and beyond. I have a wonderful life and I am having a wonderful career - And if I am honest, really honest, my career would have been very different had it not been for that one tape I passed to Colin Hart who passed it to Ritchie Blackmore,  who made that fateful call one Saturday night in April 1994. I am forever in his debt and do you know what? He will get no joy at all from me saying that, and that is kind of pleasing!

HR : [laughs] Now I don’t mean to offend you by comparing you to a musical nomad, but you do seem to have moved around quite a bit -  If you could have settled for any greater length of time, or even permanently with one of those bands, who would it have been?

DW : I always have plenty to do recording and writing and performing. There is no dirt on the back of my shoes.

I was with Ritchie for 3 years, Yngwie for 6, Schenker now for 5. I would have been happy to do another album with Ritchie but he had a time machine and went away to his beloved middle ages with all the comforts of the 21Century.

With Yngwie we had run our course but remain friends, if not in touch much.

With Michael I hope to continue our successful partnership. We needed time away to do other things after the 4 years of intense touring/recording - Just to get some fresh experiences and know what side the bread is buttered.

HR : That’s always a bonus! What about future plans? Any more solo work or new collaborations in the pipeline?

DW : I am doing an album with a Bulgarian metal band called John Steel. (Blaze did their first) I will be finishing it when I am back from my short run of solos shows with my band WHITE NOISE (Italian Chapter).

I am always working. Sometimes under the radar sometime soaring like an eagle. Its all good and its all fun.

HR : You always look content to be on stage, and just take it all in your rock stride! Ha! What’s the strangest gig you’ve ever played?

DW : With La Paz in the 80’s at a place called ‘Roots of Cleghorn’ run by a lad called “Chicken George”. It was farming country and George was the only black guy for 100 miles. We played to a farmer in a bunnet and his sheep dog,  and George was the door man collecting the money! HR : Haha! No way!? Well from ‘Roots Of Cleghorn’ to Stockholm Circus -  If you could take a ‘dream’ band on the road, who would be your line-up, and what songs would make it to the setlist?

DW : I would just want to be backing singer for David Bowie, and cover  anything from “Love you til Tuesday” to “Blackstar”.

[putschki1969]

Ｗakana Album LINE LIVE ~ Summary

Note: A fellow fan was kind enough to share the recording with me. THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!!! Here is a detailed summary of Wakana’s LINE LIVE commemorating the release of her first solo album. Btw, I have not forgotten about the lyrics and the interviews. Please be patient a little while longer. Already working on it.

We are back with Nat-chan, Wakana is so happy to see her again. We start out by Natsuko telling us about the content of this LINE LIVE. She congratulates Wakana on her album release and on reaching 8th place in the Oricon charts. Wakana is hyped and super grateful to the fans.

Before they can get to the main topic of the program they have to get something out of the way first. They need to talk a bit about shark. After all, in the last LINE LIVE they realised they have a mutual love for dinosaurs and sharks so of course Wakana wants to know if Natsuko has done anything shark related recently. Nat-chan has in fact been quite busy watching all kinds of shark films. She watched 47 Meters Down on Netflix. Obviously Wakana has watched it as well. She recommends it to everyone. It’s a tough watch though so people should be careful if they can’t handle certain stuff. Nat-chan also watched the MEG movie.

Wakana is clearly so proud of Nat-chan. I think she still cannot believe she has met a fellow shark lover. Nat-chan shares that they have been staying in touch ever since their last LINE LIVE. They spent a lot of time together going on “dates”, attending concerts, having dinner together, sharing their shark stories...They never wanted their time together to end, Wakana says they really are like lovers now. Wakana is impressed by how fast Natsuko can decide on what to eat at a restaurant. It always takes her a lot of time to choose. Seems like they also had a great time getting a little drunk together.

Now it’s time for the main topic, Wakana’s album. Wakana is happy that it’s finally out because she was really desperate for people to listen to this new version of herself. While she was recording the songs all she thought about was performing the songs live in front of an audience, she really can’t wait to go on tour. There is a quick explanation regarding the album title. First of all, Wakana wants people to be aware of her new self so she thought it was fitting to name the album after herself. She also wanted something that was easy to remember XD As we already know, there are 11 songs in total, six of which were written by Wakana. They were written by various composers which are all listed by Natsuko. Wakana is going to talk about each song in detail throughout the program. Wakana is cute introducing the different album types, she confuses type A with type B

We then start to talk about the tracks on the album.

1. Yakusoku no Yoake: Nat says the song sounds magnificent, like the soundtrack to a majestic story. Wakana explains that this song has a special place in her heart and she loves to listen to it whenever, especially when she wants to relax. She actually wrote those lyrics while taking baths. She has a tablet for her bathtub where she can place all kinds of stuff (including her phone, a notebook and a pen). This way it’s easy for her to listen to music and take notes even when she is taking a bath. It seems like this song wasn’t originally planned to be written by her. But during pre-production Wakana was asked to spontaneously come up with a few lyrics for the first part of the song. Usually she would just do some “la,la,la” singing during pre-production. Wakana felt very inspired by the melody of this song and when she first listened to it there were lots of lyrics that came to her mind. The director was very happy with what she came up with so he requested for her to do the rest of the song as well.

2. Tsubasa: Wakana had a lot of fun recording this song because Satoshi Takebe and the band members were there with her. it was easy to feel the groove of the song with all of them there at the studio. Satoshi Takebe also decided last minute to add some backup vocals to the chorus. Wakana says that all the back up vocals you hear in the album were done by herself. Then we get the Odaiba Venus Fort live version of Tsubasa.  

Aww, Wakana is so embarrassed to watch herself perform. This is pretty much identical to the studio version, Wakana says this was pretty much right after they had recorded the studio version and it was a strange feeling to sing the song like that (because she was so used to sing the other version). She says it became quite a different song once they did the studio recording.

3. Ruriiro no Sora: Nat says it’s a very moving song. She wants to cry when she listens to it. She feels like women in particular will be very touched by the lyrics. Wakana agrees, it feels very mature. She worried a lot about how to sing this song. We will watch the live version later so viewers are asked to be patient.

4. Nagareboshi: The blinging noise you hear in the beginning, that was actually done by Wakana. Shusui who composed the song for her suggested she should try playing an instrument during the recording. She got to play some sort of small cymbal. She was very proud to be part of that. Wakana says this is a very sweet song about the happiness of being together with the person you love. Nat-chan asks about a particular line in the song => あなたとわたしの歌 => anata to watashi no uta. She wonders why the “watashi” is written in hiragana instead of kanji, whether there is a meaning behind it. Wakana is surprised Natsuko noticed that. There is in fact a story behind that. As a child she would always write it like that, she thinks it fits better together like that and for her it emphasises the togetherness of two people. Nat-chan is in love with this piece.

5. Kioku no Hito: Wakana was super impressed by the demo tape provided by Yuko Ando. She wondered how she could best approach the world created by Yuko Ando. It was very difficult for me. Especially since there are quite a few low parts. The musicians had actually recorded the song quite some time before with a stand-in singer. Wakana was a bit disappointed to not have been part of that recording process so they all decided to do it again for Wakana. Wakana was super grateful her manager was able to arrange that for her. There is so much female strength in this song, Wakana feels like she has become a stronger woman just by singing this song and she got inspired to become even stronger.

6. Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni: It feels weird to Wakana that it has barely been a month since the release and now her album is already out. Since this is her very first song she still kinda worries about the lyrics not being good enough. Even after singing it so many times. [awww, you really shouldn’t worry, the lyrics are great!]. Nat notes that the song is right in the middle of the album and wonders why she decided to put it there. Originally they planned to use it as the first track but then Wakana really wanted to start the album with Yakusoku no Yoake since it represents a new beginning. Right in the middle felt appropriate to Wakana. Then we get the live version from Odaiba Venus Fort.

Wakana is literally the cutest ever when she is listening to herself singing. Precious cinnamon bun She really loves these songs. Awww, the viewer comments are so nice. Everyone is saying that they are crying.

7. Hard Rain: In the beginning she received a short demo tape with just the first part of the song (until the first chorus). She immediately wanted to hear more of it because she loved it so much. The demo tape was sung by Kana Yakubi and she really loved her rendition. She couldn’t wait to sing the song herself. Natsuko loves the rain noises in the background, they add a great vibe to the song. And she loves how it builds up with the chorus, it has a very dramatic feel to it.

8. Kinmokusei: As we all know already, this was the final song she recorded. Just as with Yakusoku no Yoake she was asked to write lyrics for one part of the song but unlike Yakusoku no Yoake she had a lot of trouble doing the whole song, she didn’t know how to continue. So it’s a good thing this was the final song because she could take her time. Nat assumes that this is another song Wakana wrote while taking a bath and yup, spot on. She did. Wakana explains there are many songs where she feels like she has to be outside looking at the sky to get inspired but for this one she knew she would have to be in the bathtub to think of something. Off to the bath!!!

Nat asks why she chose that title. Wakana explains that smells influence us so much in life so she thought it was suitable to use a flower as title. She opted for “fragrant olive” as title because the smell of olive trees is incredibly strong. The olive tree blooms in all kinds of places, especially in autumn so she it’s something that forever stays in your memory

9. Boku no Kokoro no Tokei: Satoshi Takebe decided to add the ticking noises. Wakana really loves it. When he told her that he had written the song for her she was super happy, she loved his piano version so much that she immediately started writing the lyrics, she felt incredibly inspired. That’s one of the songs she didn’t write in the bathtub. She actually wrote them pretty quickly while getting all kinds of inspiration from Satoshi Takebe.

10. Toki no Ne: Nice transition from one song about time to the other. Wakana thinks that is very fitting. After all,  time and clocks were a major theme of her autumn tour last year.  Some people see time as something negative, as if they are constantly racing against time. But for her, time is something truly amazing, something that should be treasured.

11. Ai no Hana: Wakana says she was super happy to work with Shusui and Stefan Aberg who she had both met in her teens during auditions. Back then it was her first time meeting someone from Sweden so that left quite the impression. Wakana think it’s amazing how music can re-connect people after so many years. Eri Ishikawa’s lyrics are heartrending but at the same time they are full of optimism. Wakana loves that.

We then get the live version of Ruriiro no Sora. Wakana says they had just recorded the song a week or so before that performance so she was super nervous.

It’s Wakana’s turn to do some promotions,she lost track of where they left off so she has no idea where to continue. Nat reminds her she should introduce the different album versions again. First they are doing Type B with all its lovely extras including a B-sized poster.

Nat is having fun looking at Wakana’s photobook. She tries to show some sneak peeks without spoiling anyone. Then Nat talks about the double purchase tokuten lottery. I wrote a post about that ages ago. If you bought both the single and the album you can add the note from the single to a postcard from the album. When you send that in you are applying for one out of two special tokutens (wooden piano signed by Wakana, music box playing Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni). 10 winners will be chosen for each tokuten. Deadline is May 31.

Then they promote her upcoming tour. Wakana says she will start rehearsals the following day ~ tomorrow desu ~ She can’t wait to work with Satoshi Takebe again.

Natsuko asks about her live goods. Wakana is so hyped already because she thinks her goods are amazing. Everyone should look forward to the shark goods.

Nat warns her not to spoil anything in all her excitement XD They then announce that Wakana started her own instagram account! BANZAI. Wakana wanted to make a post but at that point she couldn’t get away from the welcome page, I think her account hadn’t been set up properly yet, there were still a few settings that had to be arranged. They both totally fail so they promise they will post something later. Nat then manages to figure it out and Wakana chooses a picture to post. She wonders what to write...maybe ”I am sending it now”...Nat is like, “eh? that’s weird...” She finally ends up writing a short greeting and uploads the picture. Success!!

Wakana says she will post lots of sky pictures on her instagram. Hopefully everyone will like them. They take a picture together and Wakana has a final message for the fans. Nat-chan and Wakana will go on many more dates from now on. And that’s a wrap. Bye bye!

Google Drive Link

[britishchick09]

get back? more like get back to rankings! ;D

that’s right the rankings are back after forever! there are 210 songs in this one, so while we (impatiently) wait for ‘get back’ to release, let’s check out the newbies! ;)

love

1.     ob la di ob la da anthology 3

2.     nowhere man

3.     because

4.     my bonnie

5.     i saw her standing there

6.     here comes the sun

7.     i need you

8.     the night before

9.     i’m down

10.  i’m looking through you anthology 2

11.  revolution esher

12.  christmas time is here again

really like

13.  i’ll follow the sun

14.  devil in her heart

15.  a hard day��s night

16.  she loves you

17.  with a little help from my friends

18.  do you wanna know a secret

19.  back in the ussr

20.  octopuses garden

21.  can’t buy me love

22.  strawberry fields anthology 2

23.  take good care of my baby

24.  i’ll be on my way

25.  i call your name

26.  all my loving

27.  baby’s in black

28.  while my guitar gently weeps anthology 3

29.  for you blue

30.  this boy

31.  don’t ever change

32.  when i’m sixty-four

33.  shout

34.  two of us

35.  penny lane

36.  the ballad of john and yoko

37.  one after 909

38.  i want to tell you

39.  things we said today

the guitar and mclennon vocals are so nice! the chorus is especially cool! :D

40.  i will

41.  sweet little sixteen

42.  ain’t she sweet

43.  sure to fall (in love with you)

44.  i’ll be back

45.  she came in through the bathroom window

46.  i feel fine

47.  i’ll cry instead

48.  i’ve just seen a face

49.  your bird can sing

50.  matchbox

ringo sounds awesome and i love how rocking the song is! :D

51.  i’m looking through you

52.  honey pie esher demo

53.  i’m happy just to dance with you

54.  crying waiting hoping

55.  you won’t see me

56.  all together now

57.  i me mine

58.  anna (go to him)

59.  in my life

60.  i wanna hold your hand

61.  help

62.  ‘till there was you

63.  rock and roll music

64.  across the universe wwf

this version sounds so nice! i like how john’s voice is a higher pitch to go with the sweet girl background vocals :)

65.  boys

66.  i don’t want to spoil the party

67.  don’t pass me by

68.  wait

69.  yes it is

70.  i’m so tired

71.  p.s i love you

72.  what goes on

73.  for no one

74.  hold me tight

75.  ticket to ride

76.  across the universe

77.  she said she said

78.  i’m a loser

79.  another girl

80.  revolution

81.  oh darling

82.  i’m gonna sit right down and cry over you

i like how fast the melody is and john’s vocals sound rough but nice! :D

83.  eight days a week

84.  nothin’ shakin’

85.  something

86.  revolution 1

87.  birthday

88.  maggie mae

this song is so short but very sweet with funny john vocals! :D

89.  yellow submarine

90.  please please me

91.  mother nature’s son

92.  i’m only sleeping

93.  maxwell’s silver hammer

94.  sgt. pepper’s lonely hearts club band

95.  get back

96.  the honeymoon song

this is a sweet little song ;)

like

97.  besame mucho

98.  you’ve really got a hold on me

99.  we can work it out

100.        while my guitar gently weeps

101.        money (that’s what i want)

102.        all you need is love

103.         please mr postman

104.         act naturally

105.         hello goodbye

106.         good day sunshine

107.         norwegian wood

108.         you never give me your money

109.         and i love her

110.         good night

111.         what you’re doing

112.         yesterday

113.         when i get home

114.         don’t let me down

115.         blackbird

116.         she’s leaving home

117.         teddy boy

this is a nice song with nicer paul vocals! i wish it had been in the final album :)

118.         glass onion

119.         i’ll get you

120.         from me to you

121.         here there and everywhere

122.         any time at all

123.         ooh my soul

124.         can you dig it

a fun song with a neat guitar and silly john at the end! :D

125.         tell me what you see

126.         ask me why

127.         i’ve got a feeling

128.         thank you girl

129.         lady madonna

130.         hey bulldog

131.         your mother should know

132.         sexy sadie

133.         every little thing

134.         i should’ve known better

135.         getting better

136.         tell me why

137.         got to get you into my life

138.         love me do

139.         misery

140.         you’re gonna lose that girl

141.         roll over beethoven

142.         fixing a hole

143.         eleanor rigby

144.         dear prudence

145.         fool on the hill

146.         martha my dear

147.         if i fell

148.         long tall sally

149.         chains

150.         magical mystery tour

151.         twist and shout

152.         hey jude

153.         julia

154.         paperback writer

155.         old brown shoe

156.         you’ve got to hide your love away

157.         cry baby cry

158.         michelle

159.         a day in the life

160.         long long long

george’s vocals are really neat and make the song mostly peaceful :) (besides THE ENDING!)

161.         it’s only love

162.         dizzy miss lizzy

163.         you like me too much

164.         if i needed someone

165.         the word

166.         you can’t do that

167.         little child

168.         strawberry fields forever

169.         come together

170.         mr. moonlight

171.         slow down

172.         ob la di ob la da

173.         the continuing story of bungalow bill

174.         baby it’s you

175.         all i got to do

176.         the long and winding road

177.         being for the benefit of mr. kite

178.         honey pie

179.         let it be

180.         taxman

181.         there’s a place

182.         don’t bother me

eh

183.         not a second time

184.         day tripper

185.         lucy in the sky with diamonds

186.         helter skelter

187.         baby you’re a rich man

188.         good morning good morning

189.         dig it

a weird song WITH A RANDOM MARIO AT THE END? :o

190.         piggies

191.         i want you (she’s so heavy)

192.         rocky raccoon

193.         it won’t be long

194.         i wanna be your man

195.         girl

196.         dig a pony

197.         happiness is a warm gun

198.         like dreamers do

199.         a taste of honey

200.         dr. robert

201.         a shot of rhythm and blues

202.         you know my name (look up the number)

203.         no reply

204.         it’s all too much

205.         only a northern song

206.         drive my car

207.         blue jay way

208.         love you to

209.         i am the walrus

210.         revolution 9

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

A Few of My Favourite Things | 2018

Hey People of Earth!

So it happens to be December 31st, AKA, the last day of the year, AKA another year has gone by, and I’m back to share a couple favourite things I found in these last twelve months. 2017 has been an insane, but relatively good year. Regardless of the bumps in the road, I had a pretty great time, and I’m excited to see what 2018 brings! This blog truly grew this year, and for that, I’m eternally grateful for you guys... Here’s to another year!

Like last year, I’ll be discussing a few of my favourite things I’ve come across throughout 2017. This post will be sectioned off in four categories: MUSIC, FILMS, BOOKS and WRITING.

I listened to so much amazing music this year, and I’m so stoked to formally share the lovely artists I’ve acquainted with in 2017.

I’ll be listing these in the order in which I found them this year, for the sake of also keeping a timeline!

1. First Impressions of Earth by The Strokes

Genre: Garage/alternative rock

This albummmm. <3 I started listening to this album at the very beginning of the year, and I’m so happy I did. The Strokes is my favourite band, and FIOE is definitely my favourite work they’ve put out so far (head to head with Room On Fire). What a perfect way to start the year.

If you like: Alternative rock, great lyrics, AMAZZZING instruments, the sickest of all sick guitar solos, and grungy vocals, this album is the way to go

Favourites off this album are: Ize of the World (my favourite song ever), Razorblade, Electricityscape (though the entire album is my favourite lol)

2. ÷ by Ed Sheeran

Genre: Pop

This album was worth the wait, as it quickly became a favourite. If you were here in the 2015 days, you’d have gone through my *I love Ed Sheeran above everything in the entire world* phase (actually not a phase ha). Though my music tastes have changed a lot since I started listening to Ed years ago, his music is like coming home.

If you like: Pop with folky vibes, awesome music you can dance and sing to, pop music that is super fresh and cute but powerful vocals, here you goooo.

Favourites off this album: Barcelona, Dive, Shape Of You, New Man, Eraser

3. Light Upon the Lake by Whitney

Genre: Indie rock tho I would say alt country with psychedelic pop vibes ft. some indie works

OH BOY what an amazing find this was. This album is literal gold. My mom loves this album. ‘Tis mom approved. I’m really excited for another Whitney release.

If you like: Really chill music you listen to on early morning train rides, unique, soft male vocals with blessed guitar riffs and trumpet stuff, this is my go to.

Favourites: No Woman, Polly, Golden Days

4. Angles by the Strokes

Genre: Alternative rock with some new wave vibes maybe?

This was my final album endeavor in The Strokes’ discography, and oh boi it did not disappoint. Some of the songs on here are very different in sound to their first three albums, but I dig it.

If you like: Rock music with 70s pop vibes, Angles is perfect for ya.

Favourites off this album: Two Kinds of Happiness, Machu Picchu, Games

5. Buds by Surf Curse

Genre: Surf rock/punk, lo-fi vibes

ENTER THE START OF A NEW BEGINNING. Surf Curse is literally the best band I found in 2017, no lie. I found them after clicking around on YouTube, and haven’t looked back since. This is literally the best music to listen to when you need to get through them summer finals/want to go to the beach but can’t go to the beach/need some quality grade angst in your life.

If you like: Punk music with loooots of drums and lit rhythm guitar, would recommend. Also if you enjoy supporting really sweet bands, send Nick and Jacob some love.

Favourites off this album: Heathers, Fire Walk With Me, Goth Babe, The Smell Saved My Life

6. Future Present Past EP by the Strokes

Genre: Alternative rock with more new wave vibes lol I think

THIS EP. This EP is so groovy. Literally, if you need some groove in your life, this is perfect.

If you like: Groovy tunes, here we goooo

Favourites off this EP: It’s so short, but Oblivius (Moretti Remix) and Threat of Joy are the bomb dot com.

7. Sad Boys EP by Surf Curse

sad bois

Genre: Surf rock, punk

More blessed Surf Curse fammmm. If you seriously need to go to a mental beach, this EP will immediately take you there. Sad Boys is the kind of music that plays over like beachy montages in like 80s coming of age films.

If you like: Hardcore beach vibes, the end of summer aesthetic, this EP is lovely.

Favourites: Forever Dumb, Beach Whatever, I’m Not Making Out With You, Reality Bites

8. Nothing Yet by Surf Curse

Genre: Surf rock with those beachy vibes though this album is harder to describe

THIS ALBUM is so good. I listened to this while I was in Mexico with my family, and it will forever be my ‘Mexico’ album. It’s got some really amazing riffs mixed in there which is a little different from Buds, but soooo good. Surf Curse signed my copy of this also. Love. <3

If you like: Punk with more indie vibes I guess? This album’s genre is hard to describe for me ha, but if you like some chill music that's kinda existential, here we goooo.

Favourites off this album: (the entire thing is so good but here are a few): Christine F, Doom Generation, The Strange and the Kind, Sleeping, All Is Lost, Falling Apart

9. Music From Before the Storm by Daughter

Genre: Indie rock

I don't know how to express my love for this album in a way that’ll be remotely coherent. This was the soundtrack to Life is Strange: Before the Storm, and I couldn’t be more excited about it.

If you like: Mostly instrumental stuff, this album is perfect for you. The majority of this album is instrumental, so it’s my go to rec for people looking for music to write to. This soundtrack is sweeping, but so emotional, even though most if it is instrumental, those instruments speak for themselves. Daughter is one of my favourite bands of all time, and they did such an amazing job on this album.

Favourites: A Hole in the Earth (which imo I think is their best song yet), Dreams of William, All I Wanted, The Right Way Around, Burn It Down

10. Across the Universe Soundtrack

Genre: Rock (?)

So this is the soundtrack to the musical, Across the Universe which centres around songs from The Beatles. I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH. And this soundtrack is lovely too. My parents are both mega Beatles fans, so I grew up listening to a loooot of their music. This soundtrack is literally life.

If you like: The Beatles, musicals, amazing vocals from everybody, I totally recommend this soundtrack.

Favourites: Hold Me Tight, All My Loving, With A Little Help From My Friends, If I Fell, Because, Something, Revolution, Across the Universe

11. Me Oh My Mirror by Current Joys

Genre: I really don't know with this one, rock with indie feels sometimes?

Current Joys is Nick from Surf Curse’s solo project, and I’m literally in love, lol. This album is so beautiful, and what I’m currently digging.

If you like: Sort of chill music that can get very not chill as the songs progress, indie, songs about angst, love, finding your place in the worldz, this is my go to. This album is art. It will make you feel all the emotions. It’s legit so poignant.

Favourites: Desire and also the Desire Demo, Home Pt. 3, My Motorcycle, These Times Will Never Change, Don’t Be Consumed, Home Pt. 1 and 2, Here’s To The Afterlife

So that’s it for albums! Onto some singles/other songs I really enjoyed this year:

- Jaded by Precious Kid

- Dirty Disposition by Precious Kid

- Obstacles by Syd Matters

- To All Of You by Syd Matters

- 11th Dimension by Julian Casablancas

- Modern Girls and Old Fashioned Men by The Strokes

And that's a wrap for music!

2017 was the year I really started getting into film. I solidified that if I didn't study writing, I’d go into film instead! This year pretty much verified my love and passion for film and the like. I have many recommendations for you all, and whilst I know this category is for films, ha, I’m also going to include television shows.

First up are the short films I watched this year. In no particular order, I present to you, All Of The Films I Watched Instead Of Writing And I Have No Regrets At All

1. Andy by Mikey Murphey

The cinematography in this short is so good? Like I’m shook? And the acting? And the colour-grade? Just everything about this is so good. This is the little description of it on YouTube:

After being horribly bullied throughout high school, a mistake at a party leads Andy into getting back at an old friend of his... by outing her relationship with a teacher...

I’ve watched this at least 5 times now, and I have zero regrets. A would recommend, especially if you write YA contemporary!

2. Friend Like Me by Sammy Paul

Everything about this is so good?? I was very shook??? The acting?? The script?? The audio??? So GOOD??

Description from YouTube:

A story of Toby, his genie and the very last wish...

This idea is literally so cool, and this is absolutely one of my fave short films of all time. If you want to get into short films, I’d highly recommend giving this one a try!

3. Tick Where It Hurts by Bertie Gilbert

This film is so beautiful, so emotional, and the colours are so gorgeous. The story is also so amazing and hit home. Also, my boy Bertie gives off some major Clifford vibes in this one, ha. I would go into this one without knowing what’s up, but I’ll give a trigger warning for suicide here in case.

4. Playground by Bertie Gilbert and Sammy Paul

I started my Bertie Gilbert film adventures with this one, and it did not disappointed. This film is so so so good, and if there’s one film I urge you to watch off this list, it’s this one.

Summary off IMDb:

Ezra finds himself dealing with the loss of his younger brother in a rather unconventional way. On route to the funeral service he (and his bike) are taken hostage by a gang of forest dwelling children. In return for his release Ezra must help them fix their rocket ship. However, in the process of doing so, he finds an escape from grief.

5. Comfort Food by Sam Saffold

THIS. I absolutely love the story, and the coolest part is, there is no talking. Sam managed to create such a beautiful story in such an effective way. This film is gold. This film follows a relationship ft. popcorn ft. food ft. everything you ever wanted in a short film.

So that’s it for my favourites! I watched so many other amazing short films this year, so if you want anymore recs, I’ve got tons I didn't get to mention here!

As for TV shows, I enjoyed quite a few this year, namely:

1. 13 Reasons Why

A controversial show I wouldn't have watched it if it weren't for my boy Dylan who I was following through The Narwhals for a while. Not a fan of the book, but I think this show is actually incredibly important to watch. I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts all my life, so this one was great for me. I truly enjoyed the writing in the show as well.

2. Criminal Minds

So I’ve actually watched Criminal Minds since I was like 7, and it was always one of my faves growing up. After watching a couple episodes with my family on our drive up to Pennsylvania, @sarahkelsiwrites decided to watch all of it from season one. Currently on season 11 (or 10 if we rewatch), and it’s been so good? I can’t tell you how helpful this show has been in inspiring me writing-wise, so if you like crime shows (which are my favourite) and haven’t watched Criminal Minds, this is a huge recommend!

So that’​s it for TV because I’m not much of a TV watcher lol.

Which is a wrap for films as a whole!

I’m just going to preface this entire section by saying I failed big time in the reading department this year. I read a total of 10 books, which seems okay, but then 5 of them were re-reads, and 2 of them were for school lol.

This was definitely the year of audiobooks. I will say that. I listened to all three of The Darkest Minds books this year because that’s probably my favourite series ever, listened to Bitterblue by Kristen Cashore after having read it twice because you gotta live that audiobook life, and also listened to All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven because that’s also one of my favourites and that audiobook life amirite. So. The five re-reads were actually listened to lol. I tried. I’m almost done my listen through of Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (another re-read) which I’ve been listening to for a year. lol. I don't know what to do with myself.

So yes. I don't have much to say in this department, other than that. I’ve also started narrating audiobooks for fun which is a cool thing?

Honestly crossing my fingers for next year, ha.

Oh boy, do I have some favourites for you.

1. WordBook

WordBook is a dictionary and thesaurus app for PC and it’s the best thing I found all year. It works online and off, so it’s perfect for on the go, and I’m going to cry for a straight week when I get a Mac next year because they don't have a Mac version. :( This app is so easy to use, gives me great words when I’m looking for synonyms for something, and is actually my favourite thesaurus. I much prefer this to googling, so I’ll have to find a replacement before I go to uni! But if you have a PC and are looking for a great dictionary and thesaurus app, this one is my favourite.

2. OneLook Reverse Dictionary

This literally saved my life this year many times, so I’m putting it here. If you ever can’t find a word but know its definition/words in the vein of what you want, this app is PERFECT. I can’t tell you how many times a word has slipped my mind, and this has helped me find it.  

3. Word’s text to speech feature

As noted in my books section, I’m a huge fan of audiobooks. Listening to my work was a thing that became super prevalent this year, and I truly think helped me out in a number of areas in my writing: flow, voice, and catching typos! I often listened to my chapters after I wrote them to get a feel for what content was there. This was one of my favourite things I implemented into my writing process this year by far.

4. You

Okay so here is my moment to get cheesy, lol. This year, I started my Doing the Write Thing series, which I’ve mentioned multiple times, has been pivotal in my writing journey. I would say that’s a favourite of mine, and while the series itself is great and so important to me, the reason it has become so integral in my life, is because of you guys. Your continuous support means so, so much to me, especially on that series. So thank you for reading those, and for making that series so much more special to me, and in general, making this one of the best years of my life.

So that’s it for this post! Hope you enjoyed seeing some of my favourites from this year! Happy 2018!

--Rachel

[freddielocks]

Here are, by Discogs' ratings, the 10 most valuable singles in my collection. The descriptions will aim to give you as much detail as they can about each, if there's any terminology that needs explaining just ask!

They'll go in reverse order:

10) John's Children - Desdemona

B-side: Remember Thomas a Becket

Label: Track, cat 604003

Year: 1967

Highest sold for on Discogs: £122

Rare Record Price Guide Value (in mint near unplayed condition): £150

Price paid: £30 on eBay

Condition: Record and sleeve VG (some noise)

This Desdemona, the rarest of all the singles I own by my hero Marc Bolan, is made much more valuable as it has the rare picture sleeve, an oddity for British singles at the time. Both sides are decent mod tracks and the A-side was banned by the BBC for the lyrics 'Lift up your skirt and fly' which Bolan maintained was about a witch.

9) Nicky James - So Glad We Made It

A-side: I Need To Be Needed

Label: Philips, cat BF 1566

Year: 1967

Highest on Discogs: £140

RRPG mint Value: £7 (!)

Price paid: 40p in Plastic Wax Records

Condition: Solid VG (edge cracked but not affecting grooves)

Nicky James aka 'Thunderthroat' was a big voiced but obscure singer, who came close to hits and almost joined the Moody Blues, who later went on to enormous success, signing him to their record label Threshold. I found this after hours of searching and got really excited (confused stares in the shop) and got it home only to see its low book value. However, it was not listed on Discogs, and so I put it in the database myself, to find a few years later that the B-side is considered a collectible Northern Soul record and it had started to sell for way more money! Not my favourite record by him though, which is Reaching For The Sun.

8) The Creation - Making Time

B-side: Try And Stop Me

Label: Planet, cat PLF 116

Year: 1966, charted at #49 for 1 week

Highest on Discogs: £150

Book value: £35 (would be £50 with sleeve)

Price paid: £25 on Discogs (lucky!)

Condition: largely VG+ but one deeper scratch causes pops

The mod band The Creation were rivals to the Who in their heyday, and this aggressive punky single, produced by the renowned Shel Talmy and issued on his (uber-cool) Planet label, showcases their talent, as well as the invention of playing the electric guitar with a violin bow to crunchy effect! It's a classic and a must-have for any collector.

7) The Misunderstood - I Can Take You To The Sun

B-side: Who Do You Love

Label: Fontana, cat. TF 777

Year: 1966

Highest on Discogs: £150

Book value: £80

Price paid: 50p in a warehouse clearance in Cadoxton, Wales

Condition: it appears that this was left by the radiator at some point, and it's a bit wavey around the edge. This causes a few wobbles in the sound and a little sizzle at the end, but still listenable

The Misunderstood were a mysterious American outfit, who only released this single while in their original line up, with the dual guitars of Englishman Tony Hill and Glenn Ross Campbell (not the famous one). 1966 puts it at the cutting edge of psychedelia, and both tracks are amazing and utter classics, with the A-side taking you to space and back and the B-side being the most screechy Bo Diddley cover ever! It was a dream to find a copy in the dingiest place in the world, and well worth the damp knees and hours without any natural light.

6) The Maytones - Botheration and The G.G. Rhythm Section - TNT

Label: Blue Cat, cat. (Haha) BS 165

Year: 1969

Highest on Discogs: £150

Book price: £35

Paid: it's still a secret but it's around £30-35, from Plastic Wax

Condition: solid VG again, which for a reggae/rocksteady single is practically a dream.

This single split between two artists very popular in Jamaica (The G.G. All Stars were connected to pioneer Ernest Ranglin) was released on the Blue Cat label, arguably the rarest of the numerous sub-labels of legendary company Trojan Records. Both sides are chilled rocksteady and among the label's best work, justifying the steep rise in prices for it. My reggae buying career has been essentially for the labels they were released on, but this was a huge coup as it was a brilliant record too!

5) James Royal - I Can't Stand It

B-side: A Little Bit Of Rain

Label: CBS, cat. 2959

Year: 1967

Highest on Discogs (and only sale to date): £150

Book price: £125

Price paid: 50p in Rick's Records (rip), Hastings

Condition: looks utterly trashed and has a small crack going into the playing surface alas. However it plays very well given its appearance - it's loud!

James Royal is not a well known name - he made a fair few singles before joining a covers band and leaving the big time for Australia, having played with a host of future stars (Rick Wakeman of Yes, John Entwistle of the Who, Nick Simper from Deep Purple) along the way. This classy two-sider is his rarest record and shows his vocals to great effect against an amazingly lavish production. As usual with soul records, the demo copy (which amazingly was the reason I didn't leave it in the box for so cheap!) doubles the value, although any copy of this fetches big prices - that £150 is looking a little low. I more treasure it because musically it's superb. Check it out!

4) Kaleidoscope - A Dream For Julie

B-side: Please Excuse My Face

Label: Fontana, cat. TF 895

Year: 1968

Highest Discogs: £175

Book price: £40

Paid: £5 on eBay

Condition: has a crack which has led to a small piece missing. I have just about got it to play without the needle getting stuck in there. You can appreciate this one's a 'collection filler' (for someone who didn't care - I bought it for the music obviously!)

Kaleidoscope are a now legendary English psych-pop outfit, who narrowly missed success both in this form, making waves with 'Flight From Ashiya' (which I also own after a long and arduous search) and as their later Fairfield Parlour incarnation, scoring a near-hit with 'Bordeaux Rosé'. As I Luv Wight they recorded the theme for the Isle Of Wight Festival in 1970, but the festival DJ ignored instructions to play it in between every act and tossed his copy into the crowd (it was perhaps a little too advanced, but I like it (and own it)). A Dream For Julie is a bizarre danceable record with sheer nonsense lyrics ('Mexican clowns' and 'strawberry monkeys' surround Julie for starters). The B-side is typically mellow and stately.

3) The Kinks - Long Tall Sally

B-side: I Took My Baby Home

Label: Pye, cat. 7N.15611

Year: 1964

Highest on Discogs: £207

Book price: £120

Paid: £16 on eBay

Condition: VG playing above grade - a surprisingly great copy! Probably one of the best in this list

The Kinks need no introduction, but this was their first ever single released just two records before You Really Got Me practcially invented fuzz guitar and changed rock forever. Both sides are snappy beat numbers with character and the characteristic weird vocals of Ray Davies. eBay does have miracles - this bidding war happened in prime hours (8pm) and I held on by 50p or so, for a record which otherwise would fetch much higher and has a huge collector's market in beat and Kinks fans alike.

2) Crocheted Doughnut Ring - Two Little Ladies (Azalea and Rhododendron)

B-side: Nice

Year: 1967

Label: Polydor, cat. 56204

Highest on Discogs: £307

Book value: £40

Paid: £12.50 on eBay

Condition: VG-, crackles a fair bit as both sides are quiet.

The (Crocheted) Doughnut Ring were an obscure outfit who issued around four singles in the late 60s. This record's A-side is a rather meandering psych-pop affair which is rather soft. Having no other material for a B-side, producer Peter Eden (who lent his talents to a whole other bunch of records and adds collectibility) fooled around with the A-side tapes and created an incredible soundscape - inventing ambient music in 1967! There's nothing else like it for at least another four years, when Brian Eno and Robert Fripp released (No Pussyfooting) (which I do own, and yes, the brackets are part of the title), the first major incidence of tape manipulation in popular music after The CDR's accident!

1) The Spectres - I (Who Have Nothing)

B-side: Neighbour Neighbour

Label: Piccadilly, cat. 7N.35339

Year: 1966

Highest on Discogs: £350

Book value: £300

Paid: Nothing! This was in my aunt's garage in Manchester, although mum has no idea who owned it in the first place - mysterious Auntie Laura was the only candidate. Other records in the box were also rare, causing disbelief as mum thought they were awful!

Condition: incredibly for a record stored without any protective sleeve in a flimsy box in the dankest most cluttered garage in existence, it's a solid VG with great sound.

This record, the first of three, was the first recorded appearance of Status Quo! This creates its incredible value, although it is the most common of the three (not saying much). Both sides are not brilliant versions of standards recorded by lots of bands, although I (like others) have a soft spot for the B-side, which is an R&B number with traces of the psychedelic sound early Quo (before they decided to only write songs with three chords!) were to hit success with, as Pictures of Matchstick Men became a top 10 hit. In between the Spectres and that single, the band were known as Traffic Jam, and the Almost But Not Quite There (accurate name!) single is the most sought after. My aunt nearly threw it away! Jesus!

[lucytara]

clara/twelve fic: but we’re so happy [4/7?]

Clara’s talking about her new job and he’s staring in that way he’s not supposed to stare, like he adores her, like he’s addicted to every word out of her mouth, like love itself is in the room with them strung along in the space between their bodies, but they’re all drunk and no one’s paying attention now, anyway, and fuck it all, he’s so happy it’s killing her. Outside, it rains like it’s rained forever, but instead of a storm she finds a beginning. [punk rock au. secrets are fun until they aren’t. an album isn’t exactly a secret, she resists pointing out. 13k words. explicit. part 1/2/3]

but we’re so happy

/4

January passes in a hazy blur of biting winter nights spent huddled together in the Doctor’s flat; the fireplace crackles endlessly like it’s on a loop and the sofa becomes home, turning pages beneath piles of blankets, choruses of chords. He shows her bare melodies and she offers advice; try an E flat, make this a G major 6, and she’s always right. He’s gone a lot in February, but he returns every weekend and plays her each song as the band records them, and she hears all the demos first - which is only fair, she argues, considering she’s the muse behind the brilliance - and it’s wildly flattering to listen to how he’s immortalized her and their relationship in his songs. She’s lying on his couch, arm over her eyes, absorbing every line of a track he’s tentatively titled ‘Death in Heaven.’

You said, “We’re already going to hell, so you might as well just fuck me tonight…”

He watches her grin, snarky. She says, “I was directly quoted. I want five percent of all royalties.”

He laughs under his breath. He’d spoil her to pieces if he thought it was actually something she wanted. “Threatening a lawsuit?” He teases, tossing a loose pillow at her.

She catches it, holding it to her chest. “Oh, absolutely. I’m all about the money.”

“So I’ve noticed.”

The CD pauses; the track ends. “Play it again,” she demands. “I missed some of it because of all your yapping.”

He rolls his eyes, but skips back; she’ll do this all day until she has every word memorized, and then she’ll sing along until she makes his own music sound sexy and he politely has to ask her please, for the love of God, stop.

She’s laying back and mouthing the words, lips barely moving, fingers tapping against her thigh; the moment is so untouched, untainted, right--

He says, “It occurs to me.”

Her eyes blink open slowly. “Yes?”

“People will be wondering,” he says. “Who I’m singing about, I mean.”

“They already are,” she replies, giving him a somewhat quizzical look. “After that stunt on New Year’s, what’d you think was gonna happen?”

He raises his eyebrows. The track ends again. “I don’t read YouTube comments,” he tells her pointedly.

She makes a noise of fake exasperation in her throat. “Plenty of theories so far. Fortunately the random girl seen with Jack out and about in London has not been included.” She extends an arm, gesturing for him to come closer.

He stretches out next to her on the couch, his head in the crook of her neck. She wraps an arm around him, hand rubbing his back. He says, “I don’t want it to frighten you off. Fame is - it’s awful, really. I don’t want you dragged into something you’re not ready for.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re young.”

Her hand stills. She turns her head and presses her lips to his hair. She says, understanding exactly where he’s coming from because she knows him better than anyone in the universe, “It’s not selfish of you to be happy and write about it. I’m not getting myself into anything I don’t want, Doctor, even if it may be difficult. Some things are worth the risk.”

“Like what?” He asks.

“Like love.” Her voice is coy. “But you knew the answer to that.”

He closes his eyes. “It’s nice to hear you say it.” He sighs into her. “I miss you when I’m away. Like I’m never quite sure which is my real life.”

The fire washes over the room in swathes of rich orange light. “Like you don’t know if you’re you when you’re with me or you’re you when you’re on stage?”

“Sort of,” he says. “Yeah.”

“I understand that,” she responds, and her fingers have started moving again, gentle and comforting.

“Though it’s better now that you’re the music, too,” he confesses, and then: “Actually, no, scratch all that. I feel more like me now than ever.”

She laughs quietly; he can feel her chest moving underneath his arm. “Guess I’ll have to stick around then, huh?”

He’s growing tired. “Well, I’d never want to force you into anything.”

Her other arm wraps around him in an embrace. “I think,” she says softly, lips against the shell of his ear, “that I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”

--

She comes to London with him once for a few days; Jack’s there as well, helping Donna manage their schedules, single and album release dates, possible tour locations, while she hangs back in the actual studio, getting to watch him in a slower, subtler version of his element. The method of recording Gallifrey One employs is a-song-a-day; they work from the ground up on each song individually, so that by the time the track’s finished, mixing needs are minimal and it sounds raw and recognizable and them, instead overly polished.

“It works better for rock and punk rock,” Shona tells her, “because it gives them room for artistry - they’re building out the song as they go, but every take sounds like a completed record. Each element on top of the other, blending seamlessly. They’ve been playing a long time, so it’s a preferred technique for them.”

“If we have to, we’ll go back in for a bit of brick by brick,” Psi says, “but that doesn’t happen often - only if a significant change has been made. We dedicate about three weeks total to the entire process on our end, but the band spends a few weeks before this practicing. Mind you, they’ve got to write all their material before this, and tour; that’s why there’s such a long break between releases. Their last was, what, a year and a half ago?”

Shona and Psi are great about explaining to her the mechanics of what goes into actually producing a record - she knows more than they expect, and the band spends a lot of time fucking around in the booth, so they’ve plenty of time to teach her what she’s unfamiliar with - and when Vastra notices her touching the soundboard, she grabs the mic and speaks into it.

“Any notes, Bosswald?” She jokes, and the Doctor glances up, grinning.

“What’s the button I press to talk back? I’m not used to this board,” she asks, and when Shona points out it, she clicks it in and says, “Actually, yeah.”

The Doctor raises an eyebrow; Vasta smirks expectantly. “I’m open to suggestions.”

“On the bridge - add a D Minor after the D7. It’ll connect to the chorus better.”

Vastra looks at her with an expression of mild appraise, and moves her fingers to the appropriate strings, testing it out. The Doctor watches too, listening carefully.

“Hm.” He pauses her, thinking. River spins her drumsticks in the background. “Let’s try it as a whole. From the chorus, no vocals.”

River counts them in, and to the surprise of everybody except the Doctor, Clara’s right. He takes out a pencil from behind his ear and scribbles the addition onto his sheet, tongue between his teeth.

Psi’s impressed. “Did you study music?”

“Combined honours,” she admits. “Literature and music. I was raised on it. My dad owned a smaller studio when he was younger - it’s how he met my mum. She could play a lot of instruments. Guitar, bass, piano…I’ve only got the keys down, though, but I don’t get to play a lot anymore.”

“Well, great suggestion,” Shona says. “The Doctor barely even takes advice from us.”

Clara laughs lightly. “Humouring me, I’m sure. Glad it worked out.”

“She also has absolute and relative pitch,” the Doctor says, apparently having overheard the conversation; Psi’s pressing the button.

Shona whistles, a little more impressed; the Doctor catches her eye and winks. Psi says to the band, “Alright, everyone, taking it from the beginning. River, if you would...”

Clara watches them play through the song five, ten, twenty times, Shona and Psi adjusting various levels and keeping the fade at a minimum, fine-tuning the song with every alteration. Shona notices her intent interest and says, “Ever thought about it?”

“About what?”

“Working in music.”

Clara blinks slowly. “Well, yeah...”

Shona grins. “You’re young, ain’t you? What, twenty-two, twenty-three? You got time.”

Clara pulls a face, grimacing. Getting to do what they do sounds incredible - music’s her passion, and of course she’d considered it, but after her mum had died...music had hurt in a way it hadn’t before. She hadn’t been ready, so she’d closed it off as a possibility. Studying it was one thing, but actually doing it was another; her fear had been finding her mum in every note, every beat, every chord, every song.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start, now,” she answers, sighing. “I mean, yeah, I’d love it. But it’s hard to break into, innit?”

Psi’s paying more attention to the band, but at that remark he throws a quick glance to her over his shoulder and a smile. “Sweetheart,” he says, “look where you are. I think you’ve probably made a few connections by now.”

“Like me,” Shona tacks on. “I work with plenty of artists that aren’t these four idiots, and I’ve a paid internship starting in May. I like you, and you clearly know enough about what you’re doing to at least manage an entry-level position - plus, you’re likable, charismatic. That’s important when working with oversized, temperamental children who want to believe everything they create is perfect the way it is.”

Psi leans in to give a note to the band and Clara says, in a state of shock, “It really is all about who you know.”

Shona laughs. “What d’you say?”

She has to shake herself out of it a bit, enough to answer, “I’d do anything to take you up on that opportunity, but I’m actually from Blackpool - that’s how I know Jack and the Doctor - and I don’t have the money to move to London at the moment.”

Shona screws up her face, thinking. “Blackpool,” she repeats. “I know a few people at 3W Recording Studios. I could give ‘em a call if you want to test out the market, see how you like it.”

“Are you serious?” Clara says, her body tingling. “Properly serious?”

“Absolutely!” Shona exclaims. “Why not give it a shot?”

“I don’t know what to say,” Clara responds, her voice wavering. She has no idea what she’s just gotten herself into, but had she really been planning on working in a club forever? She’d imagined writing, maybe, or teaching, but only at the lack of a viable path to what she’s truly passionate about. Music is her blood - perhaps it's time she let herself bleed again. “Thank you so much. I’d love to.”

“Give me your mobile, email, et cetera - I’ll take care of it, get you in touch.”

The song plays on in the background, fifty takes later, but now it sounds entirely new to her.

--

She tells the Doctor about it later over dinner, back at his flat eating Indian, and he’s unrelentingly supportive; as he says, he doesn’t understand why she hasn’t been doing it all along when she’s clearly got the right instincts for it. Jack, too, nods approvingly; “Look at you, gorgeous,” he says, digging into his curry and rice. “You’ve got the face for music.”

“I’ve no idea what that means,” she responds, which is not unusual for her when talking to Jack. “Is that an insult?”

“No, it’s a compliment. You’ve got the looks and the brilliance.”

She laughs, but the Doctor says, “Well, he’s not wrong.”

“Oh, look what I found today,” Jack says, whipping out his phone. “Jenny showed me, actually, since she’s the one on top of social media, but--”

He hands Clara his phone first - the Doctor’s busy tearing the naan apart - and it’s open to a Gallifrey One fan message board, on a thread purely about appreciating the Doctor.

“I can relate,” she says, and he laughs, but gestures for her to keep reading. The Doctor looks on curiously.

DoctorSaveMe posted:

Who’s that girl that’s been hanging out with the band recently? She’s pretty but looks super young? Anyone know the connection?

Straxxx posted:

do u have a pic? think i know who ur talking about but wanna make sure

TheDoctorIsIn posted:

from these pap pics?

She scrolls down and finds the shots of her from the first time she’d come to London with them, walking into Wahaca with Jack’s arm around her shoulders, the Doctor annoyed in the forefront.

DoctorSaveMe posted:

Yes! Her!

VastraNerada posted:

She’s jack’s girlfriend.

Straxxx posted:

yea thats what i thought too

DoctorSaveMe posted:

Oh really? Are you sure? That would make sense then, but I thought he was gay.

x_regenerated_x posted:

he’s bi I think. but yeah that’s definitely his new girlfriend. he’s been bringing her to a bunch of stuff recently. I think she knows martha too.

VastraNerada posted:

He posts loads of photos of them on his facebook. They’ve been friends for awhile but it looks like they just started dating recently.

The following posts turn into a debate about Jack’s sexuality and veer off of her, but still, the whole thing is surreal; seeing her own face on a forum dedicated to the man she’s dating, watching fans try to dissect her identity.

“These people are really...dedicated,” she says after, handing the phone to the Doctor. “Like, to know even that much about your personal life.”

Jack shrugs. “When I first started touring with them, I’d see posts like that about me, too. I used to be linked to River all the time. It worked in her favor back then, though.”

The Doctor finishes glancing over it, shaking his head. “Not that I don’t appreciate my fans, but I wish they’d fucking relax once in awhile.”

“They want to be the ones shagging you,” Clara says, smirking, “and as I said, I can relate.”

“They don’t even know me,” he replies, stealing one of her samosas.

“I used to have an account on your fanboard,” she reveals nonchalantly. “Dreams really do come true.”

He chokes in the middle of swallowing, and Jack slaps him on the back, laughing. Clara just grins evilly. “You’re fucking with me,” he manages to get out.

“Obviously.” She rolls her eyes. “Sometimes you hand me opportunities I just can’t pass up.”

“I hate you,” he says decisively.

“So there are two liars in this apartment,” Jack says, watching Clara take the Doctor’s face in her hand and press a kiss to his mouth.

“Maybe,” the Doctor says after, dazed.

--

Because he’s gone so often for the better part of a month and a half, room for concern and secrecy shrinks a little. They miss each other more than they’re trying to hide it. He comes to the bar; she meets him for pub food and a pint. When the weather gets a bit nicer, they walk around as disguised as they can be, on the off-chance any fans of his are out wandering the streets. They’re lucky at the moment, he tells her, because everyone thinks he’s in London working on the album; they don’t know he’s got someone he can’t stand to be away from.

Her camera roll fills up with him, and the two of them together: her favourite is one from a rainy day in early March, where he’s standing behind her and pressing a kiss to her cheek; it’d caught her off-guard and it shows on her face, alight with undeniable adoration. She makes it her home screen, blushing at the same time; he pokes her forehead and laughs.

He spends nights sitting on the floor of his flat, music sheets spread all around him, pages and pages of lyrics; he tells her what he’s having trouble with, sometimes playing her the notes, and she offers advice designed to cause ripples instead of waves, elevating the music to what he hears it to be in his head. One song in particular - it’s called Listen - has a chorus he can’t make work no matter what he does to it.

“All my songs are about you,” he says unabashedly, and then ruins it with, “so it’s only fitting that you get to write them, too. Control freak.”

She recognizes embarrassment of an overshare when she hears it; she grins widely, continuing to scratch out lyrics with a pencil. “Love you too, babe.” She passes the paper back to him.

Fear can shake you to your core but I’m not afraid of the dark

Touching behind closed doors and there’s more of you in the dark

“I’m an idiot,” he says.

“You just needed a fresh eye to change the order around,” she answers, patting him on the head. “But yes, you are an idiot.”

He snorts. “Fucking rude.”

She leans back against the sofa, reaching behind her for where her phone is plugged in, charging. She says, “You’re leaving again, so I have a request.”

At this, he glances up, amused. “Yes, dear?” He says, his inflection somewhere along the lines of anything for you.

She opens her camera and moves it to video. “Play me something.”

“Anything in particular?” He’s already reaching for his guitar.

“No. Doesn’t even have to be your own song.” She listens to him strum once and says, “Your G is flat.”

He grins and tunes the appropriate string; he loves the way they fit into each other, so evenly, so peacefully. He raises an eyebrow, waits for her to hit record, and starts playfully plucking out the opening to Slide.

She laughs, but she knows every word. “Are you flirting?” She asks, her smile extending to the sky. He winks and starts singing, filling in his own chords and arrangements for an acoustic version. Her video is all over the place - he’s getting up close to her phone, jamming out, barefoot and stepping on his own sheet music - and she can’t stop laughing until he gets to put your arms around me, what you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful...do you wanna get married or run away?

It’s just a song, but the feeling he puts into it has her heart thrumming in time to the lulls, stopping and starting and stopping, a crescendo that never quite breaks. Her smile drops slightly as her breath holds itself in; she meets his eyes, and he looks back at her knowingly, the curve of his mouth soft and his voice softer. He finishes the last note and sets the guitar on the floor, his hands cupping her face, meeting her lips again and again. Her phone falls to the side, forgotten. It’s just a song but he loves her in ways he can only sing about.

--

She gets the call unexpectedly - “God, I’m sorry, Shona’s an arse,” the woman says. “I’m Ashley - I work at 3W. It would’ve been lovely of her to have given you a bit more information.”

“Oh, my God,” Clara says as it dawns on her; she’d been chopping tomatoes and sets the knife down gingerly. “Blimey, I thought she’d just forgotten. I wasn’t gonna mention it, honestly.”

Ashley laughs on the other end. “That’s typical of her too, unfortunately, but you got lucky this time. I’m so sorry for the confusion.”

“Not at all,” Clara says. “I should be apologizing to you. I’m sure I sounded right cross when I answered.”

“Am I interrupting anything?”

“Oh, no, just been listening to my dad rave about the government. That’ll put anyone in a state.” The remark gets another laugh out of the woman, and Clara’s feeling more confident about the whole thing already; at least she’s likable.

“So, I owe Shona a favour, but that’s not the only reason you’re getting a ring,” she explains. “It’s not terribly unconventional. From what I’ve heard, you studied it and haven’t quite figured out what to do with it. That’s all well and good.”

“Sounds about right,” Clara answers, wiping off her hands on a dishrag, pressing the phone between her shoulder and ear.

“I’d like to meet, have an interview, see what you know. Get a sense of where you are, what you’re interested in. Can we set something up, say, next week? I’ll send you an email with times and you can let me know what works for you.”

She stands blankly in her kitchen for ten minutes afterwards, too overwhelmed to do anything else; she thinks of her mum, notes that used to sting, and she finds only music instead of needles. She knows who to thank.

The Doctor answers her FaceTime on the third ring; he’s standing outside, she thinks, but the video’s blurry and he’s holding the phone away from his mouth. “Sorry, but I’ve got to take this. Cheers,” she hears him say, and then he steps back somewhere, his face coming into view.

“Aren’t you a sight,” he says, sighing. He’s wearing a deep blue hoodie with the hood up, and his glasses are on; she can see the wire from his earphones poking out from underneath. “I hate London.”

“So you always say,” she replies lightly, smiling. God, he’s beautiful. “Were you in the middle of something?”

“Nah. Fan stopped me for a photo,” he says. “They’re on River today - I popped off to get a sandwich.” He turns the phone slightly and the telltale glow of the Pret sign comes into view.

“Did you add in the fill?”

“Yeah.” He rolls his eyes mildly. “You were right. Helps give it a through line, and stops Strax from bollocking the key change before the bridge.”

“Miss you,” she tells him fondly.

“Miss you,” he echoes back. “What’s going on?”

She sets her phone against the window, propping it up so she can continue cooking whilst she updates him; she goes over the call, the date of their meeting, her nerves. He’s smiling softly at her - too softly, he’s in public, someone will notice tenderness on a man who otherwise looks so unapproachable - and when she’s finished, he says, “You’ll be brilliant. I’m happy for you. I’ll be proud of you once you get it.”

She laughs, now washing off a zucchini. “Thanks, dear. I appreciate it.”

“Of course.” He shifts his weight between feet, and then his fingers comes into view as he starts poking his screen. He says, “Babe, rain’s here. Mind if I ring you back in a bit?”

She feels her neck burning; for some reason, it really fucks her up when he calls her that - probably because he doesn’t do it too often, and when he does, it’s more of a slip up than an intention. “Protect your electronic devices,” she says.

“Ta,” he replies, hanging up.

She glances at the clock on the wall, trying to time her afternoon; she’s got to head into work around half past three, giving her another hour; he’ll ring her in about ten, depending on how many people stop him on the street. She smiles to herself, quietly, and something about the moment is so beautiful even in his absence. She’s content.

Outside, it rains like it’s rained forever, but instead of a storm she finds a beginning.

--

Jack’s not in until six; he’s stuck with the closing shift, but he does pull her aside immediately upon arriving, grinning eagerly. She follows obediently, not even batting an eye when he shoves her into a broom closet. “Check this out,” he says, shoving his phone in her face.

It’s the same forum, but a different thread with the caps-locked title I MET THE DOCTOR!!!

She’s torn between laughing and sighing, wondering if Jack’s just getting a kick out of people lusting after her boyfriend, but then she keeps reading--

He was outside a Pret in Westminster alone n he was rather covered up, didn’t fancy getting recognised, but he was so lovely n took a pic with me…

“Wait a minute,” Clara says suspiciously, skipping forward.

He got a facetime afterward n stepped away to take it. Said our goodbyes but listen - I reckon he was talking to a woman. He had this look on his face n all we heard him say was ‘aren’t you a sight.’

“Now, either he answered a call from you or he’s cheating on you, and we both know he’s forgotten people who aren’t you even exist, so by process of elimination--”

Clara smiles unwillingly. “It was me.”

SayGeronimo posted:

It’s top that you met him but I’d refrain from speculation. He doesn’t date. Please, everyone, remember the truck incident of ‘08.

mel_pond posted:

that was so embarrassing. i was ashamed of us all.

“What happened in ‘08?” Clara asks him curiously, trying to ignore the doorknob digging into her lower back.

“He said something about his car but the fans didn’t realize the context,” Jack explains, sniggering. “They thought he had a girlfriend and went wild until an interviewer finally asked him about the remark. He laughed in the poor guy’s face.”

She stifles her own giggling, picturing the scenario perfectly; the door suddenly swings open behind them, and she crooks her neck to find Danny standing there, looking absolutely baffled at what he’s just wandered into.

“I need the mop,” he says blankly, caught off-guard.

Jack reaches around Clara’s shoulder and grabs the handle, thrusting it towards him, saying nothing.

“Erm,” Danny says. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” Clara replies for him, offering a nice smile.

“Actually, no, hang on,” Danny says, snapping out of it. “What the fuck are you two doing in here?”

“Working,” they answer in unison. Danny stares at them for another ten seconds before shrugging helplessly and stalking off, muttering to himself. Jack rolls his eyes.

“God, remember when you were fucking him?” He says. “That was so boring. That was the most boring period of my own life.”

“Jesus,” Clara says, and hands Jack his mobile. “I’m leaving.”

“Yeah,” he calls as she heads over to the bar. “Get back to work, you fucking slacker.”

She flips him the bird behind her back, painting on a smile for a customer.

--

He convinces her to come down to London the weekend after her interview, as she isn’t working and he can ‘help take her mind off things,’ which she knows to mean ‘fuck her until she forgets about them.’ Plus, the album’s almost done and it’ll spare him a trip to Blackpool; he loves to drive, but his sense of direction’s terrible, and, well, she worries.

The interview itself goes exceedingly well; Clara’s more knowledgeable than expected, Ashley admits, though Clara chalks some of that up to having been in the studio so often during recent weeks.

“Even so,” Ashley says, “proves you’re a quick learner, doesn’t it?”

It turns out her last assistant had been fine as far as his actual work had gone, but no drive; it wasn’t a characteristic she’d admired and she decided to search for a fresh ear, so Shona’s call had come at a convenient time. All in all, Ashley’s not working on anything too high-profile at the moment, so it’d be a great period of entry for Clara if she decides she’s interested.

“I’ll make you a formal offer early next week,” she says, shaking Clara’s hand as they say their goodbyes. “Don’t let me down.”

She drafts her two week’s notice on the train ride down the next day, and then spends the rest of the trip watching videos of the two of them on her phone, scrolling through pictures; one in particular of him has her biting her lip - he’s standing in his living room with his guitar strung over his shoulder, glasses on, shirtless, the band of his Calvin Klein boxer-briefs poking out from his under jeans, which are hanging low on his hips - it’s so hot it should be classified as porn. She knows exactly what kind of weekend this is going to be.

She texts him, Start thinking of everything you’d like to do to me once i get there, and then i’ll decide if you get to do them.

He answers her almost instantly. been imagining that since last night, princess.

She scowls at her screen. Don’t fuckin call me that.

you’re not the boss of me.

We both know that isn’t true.

She knows he’s just trying to rile her up, but it works anyway. She crosses her legs, annoyed with herself for getting into a state so quickly. Well. That’s what she gets for having an unbelievably attractive rockstar for a boyfriend.

It’s early evening when she enters his building through the back alley, careful not to be seen; she unlocks the door with her and finds him sprawled across his couch in dark grey sweats with his mobile in his hand, flicking up the screen. He sits up when he sees her, grinning broadly, and her heart stops in her chest. God, damn it, he’s so fucking hot and she’s been fantasizing about this for hours.

She tosses her bag next to the door and strides towards him, and the look on her face is desperate, hollow, hungry. He knows that expression, knows the gnawing ache of it, the want; she drops to her knees in front of him, tongue darting out to wet her lips, and--

“Fuck,” he breathes out as she scratches her nails down his sides to his hips, hooking her fingers underneath the waistband of his sweatpants and dragging them down. He’s already almost hard, his cock throbbing at the sight; she smirks, fingers wrapping around the shaft, and he’s digging his nails into his palms so hard he’s sure he’ll leave marks. “Nice to see you too.”

Her smirk widens; she says against the tip of his cock, “I think sucking you off is a fantastic greeting,” and then she takes him into her mouth, tongue running along the underside, cheeks hollowing.

“Fuck,” he repeats, not wanting to look away but knowing it’ll be over way too quickly if he doesn’t; feeling her lips around his cock is one thing, but actually seeing her on her knees with her head between his legs does something else to him entirely. “Fuck, Clara.”

She hums in response, and the vibration has his hands clenching around the cushions in order to stop himself from curlings his fingers in her hair; he’s still fucking respectful, for Christ’s sake, and the two of them are so addicted to power play that he’s sure she’d stop immediately if he even touched the back of her head. She’s on her knees but she’s the one in control.

She hums again, trying to get his attention; he opens his eyes and she meets his stare dead on before taking him fully in her mouth, the tip of his cock touching the back of her throat, her head bobbing, and he--

“I’m fucking,” he tries to say, but he can’t get the words out. “Clara.”

She gets the implication but she doesn’t falter, and he involuntarily pumps his hips, unable to stop--

He cums and she doesn’t even blink, grinning up at him with her eyes as he groans, tongue still massaging his cock while she swallows; he wants nothing more than to pull her onto his lap and watch her ride him, but he can barely think anymore, let alone move.

“You’ve ruined me,” he says thickly, eyes shut. “Fucking hell, Clara.”

Her hand presses flat against his cheek and her lips catch his, kissing him roughly and open-mouthed; their tongues brush and he tastes the saltiness of himself, a moan echoing low in his throat.

She pulls away, smirking, and runs a finger hotly across her bottom lip; his cock twitches, still half-hard, blood pounding in his ears. She says airily, “I could use a shower,” and saunters towards the bathroom without sparing him a glance back.

He follows her the second he regains control of his body, wondering how he even made it this long without her.

--

Eventually she tells him more about her interview, and he gets around to explaining what’s left in the production process; they’re stretched out in bed, naked and exhausted, chatting aimlessly about nothing and everything. He idly counts her bones underneath her skin, admires the fragility of her spine, every ridge so deliberate it’s like she’d sculpted it herself just to entrance him; the sharp edges of her shoulderblades, looking like they could cut but instead gliding. He traces his fingers across her back and she hums contentedly, burrowing further into his pillow.

His hand slips lower, ghosting over her ass, dipping between her legs; he finds her still slick and she sighs out his name, a low burn growing in the pit of her stomach. He strokes her slowly, gently, building her up in a way that coats his fingers and has her trembling, pillow grasped tightly in her hands, entire body tense with pleasure.

“Being away from you like this,” he murmurs, “just makes me want you.”

She moans quietly, unable to respond, on the verge of unraveling; he pulls his fingers away, palming her ass, and she breathes heavily, shaking. “No,” she manages, protesting. “Don’t stop.”

He lays back beside her, and the movement forces her eyes open, trying to see what game he’s playing. He says lowly, “On top,” and she almost cums from the order alone.

“Fuck you,” she says, but she obeys; she pushes herself onto her knees and straddles his waist, guiding his cock inside of her and sinking onto it in one smooth, erotic motion - she’s so wet there’s no resistance - and he grins victoriously in a way he knows pisses her off, but she doesn’t have the willpower to fight him on this and so she doesn’t. She places her hands flat against his chest and grinds down onto his cock, her cunt tight and hot, her head thrown back and her lips parted.

There’s something oddly serene and untouchably, darkly sensual about the moment; the moonlight spills through his curtains, painting her in pale blue light at different intervals, and her voice is the only sound he hears, breathy moans patterned between his name, rising and falling on top of him, her nails digging into his chest.

It doesn’t take her long to cum, but he commands quietly, “Don’t stop until I say.”

“Oh my God,” she exhales, but continues moving, her eyes still shut tight; it’s so good but it’s so much, and he wants to see how far he can push her, how many times he can make her cum, how long. His fingertips grip her hips firmly, and he shifts up slightly, helping guide her, and her hands find the headboard and hold on, breath still spare in her lungs.

By the time he’s on the edge of his orgasm, thick and throbbing inside of her, she’s almost crying at the pleasure of it, her moans louder, less cautious, uncaring. He feels her about to cum again and he thrusts into her, pressing down on her hips until she’s tight against him, and cums, gasping, filling her.

Her entire body sinks into him, shuddering intensely; her arms fall to around his neck as she tries desperately to catch her breath, strung out, cunt still pulsing around his cock. He holds her to him, letting her ride it out, and catches her mouth and kisses her, fingers tangling in her hair.

“Fuck,” she whispers against his lips. “Fuck. That was - fuck.”

“Too much?” He asks, almost teasingly, because he knows it wasn’t.

“Fuck,” she repeats, still struggling. “No. God. That was the hottest fuck I’ve ever had.”

He makes a move to pull out of her as he softens, but she stops him, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

“Not yet,” she says tiredly, and adjusts slightly so one of her legs is thrown around his hip. “Give me a minute.”

Neither of them have ever put much stock in the connection of sex, but it’s only now in the quiet, two a.m. daze of a Saturday night that he recognizes the true intimacy of it all, the vulnerability of her dozing off on top of him, the comfort of their bodies together. Maybe there are some things, he thinks, that he doesn’t need the rest of the world to know about, even in music.

--

They fuck all weekend, which is exactly what she assumed was going to happen, and exactly his intention all along, anyway.

They just can’t seem to keep their hands off of each other, or their lips, though sometimes they use their mouths for other things - fake-fighting, for one, which is essentially their foreplay; they boss each other around until one of them can’t take it anymore and they end up fucking against whatever surface is nearest.

They leave his flat twice for food, stretching their legs, heavily covered up; he’s not recognized by anyone who can do any real damage, and they make it out mostly unscathed.

The only unfortunate moment occurs because of Jack; it’s always fucking Jack. He calls her twice but the Doctor has her bent over the bathroom sink and she’s sure as fuck not going to pick up until he texts her urgent, and the Doctor says cruelly, “Answer the phone,” stilling his hips.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” she breathes out, furious; he slips his hand around the front of her body and finds her clit, stroking lightly, staring at her in the mirror the entire time he does so. Jack rings her again.

“What is it?” She asks, trying to keep her voice steady; she bites her lip hard.

“I have a date tonight,” he says. “I need fashion advice.”

She grits her teeth; the Doctor moves again, pumping in and out of her at a painfully slow pace. “For the record,” she says, wavering, “this is not urgent, and I’m hanging up.” She tries to hold in a gasp and fails.

Jack’s silent for a split second, and then starts laughing hysterically. “Holy shit,” he says, “are you fu--”

She ends the call, because no way in hell was she about to answer that question, anyway.

--

By the time she’s due to head home Monday morning, she feels like she needs another weekend just to recuperate from this one. He snickers but kisses her sweetly before he heads to the studio, because despite their mutual attraction to rough sex, he really is obsessed with her.

“Love you madly,” he tells her as he leaves, flipping his hood up.

“Might want to hide your neck,” she replies helpfully, laughing as he curses. “Love you deeply.”

He jokingly sings Truly Madly Deeply as the door shuts, and she continues packing her bag with a smile on her face.

Love. If it ever had a tangible definition, she’s sure the two of them would be it.

--

Only one picture of the two of them surfaces, and it’s a fan’s picture, taken at quite a distance, revealing next to nothing. There’s minimal discussion and it flies right under the radar.

crymeariver poster:

oi are we positive she’s jack’s bird? she’s in that pic from yesterday w just the doctor.

amanda_in_space posted:

yuuup jack’s in london with them, i think they popped out for tea. remember jacks a good mate of his so im sure theyre mates too by now.

crymeariver posted:

fair enough. honestly kinda disappointing. she’s lush, i know she’s young but they look good together. i wasn’t against john and river either. pity.

GallifreyingAtTheSeams posted:

I actually agree lol...but also hands off!! He’s mine lol

--

He’s back in Blackpool mostly for good by the middle of the first week of April, which is great, she says, because maybe they can stop fucking like the world is ending and actually get something done for a change. He grins and presses his lips to the top of her head. Let it be, let it be.

Ashley’s offer comes through, and Clara accepts immediately; it pays a little more and she’ll be getting to do what she actually wants to do, which is really the draw of it. Her boss is slightly upset that she’s leaving, but she’d actually only ever taken the job as a favour, anyway; they’d been severely understaffed one holiday season and she’d stepped in in lieu of nothing else to do, and they’d kept her on.

Jack still has a bit of time working there - he’s only ever been a temp, so as disappointed as he is about her leaving, it also doesn’t affect him too greatly and he’s happy for her, regardless - but the first shift he has with her after her weekend, he corners by the back door, a shit-eating grin stuck on his face like the expression has been glued there.

He says, “I cannot believe you answered the phone while you were fucking him.”

She sighs loudly, pressing her palm to her forehead. “If you text me urgent again when it’s not urgent, I will block your fucking number.”

“Nice hickey,” he says.

“Cheers.”

He can’t hold back for long. “I bet you guys have the hottest sex,” he says. “You know what? I’m actually kind of jealous.”

“I’m sure you can find someone to have a proper shag with too, Jack,” she answers mildly while he daydreams, checking her emails.

“I haven’t had sex in two months,” he says seriously.

She rolls her eyes, moving on to her unread texts; two from the Doctor, one from her dad. “You had sex two days ago.”

“Days, months, it’s all relative.”

“Jesus,” she says, sending Love you too to the Doctor. “Well, if you want to live vicariously through us, please don’t.”

Her mobile buzzes; that’s nice, sweetheart, but didn’t answer my question.

“Christ,” she says. “Hang on.” She types back, Sorry, wrong person, sentiment standing. Yes, sounds good, meet you at quarter to seven.

Jack waits for her to finish her text and then says, “It’s, like, out of this world hot though, isn’t it. I know what kind of kinky shit you’re into, so I can only imagine.”

She smiles against her will. “It’s mind-blowing,” she admits, “and that’s all you’re gonna get from me.”

“Nice,” he says, and high-fives her. “Now, can we get back to talking about me? I have another date on Thursday.”

She texts the Doctor Love you too, making absolutely certain it’s him, as Jack hammers on about the boy he’s seeing in the background.

--

She meets her dad at his local for chips and a pint with his girlfriend, because she’d at last agreed to meet the woman. Linda’s the embodiment of what a future stepmother (Clara resigns herself to this likely fate early) shouldn’t be but always is; nice enough if a tad judgmental, cynical, and accidentally, but constantly, condescending.

“Am I ever going to meet this bloke?” Her dad asks again, after she mentions my boyfriend very briefly to Linda. “Clearly it’s serious, considering the mistaken message I received earlier.”

Linda says (condescendingly), “Oh, boys at her age are so immature; perhaps she’s worried he’ll make a bad impression and we won’t approve.”

Because that is totally and completely wrong, Clara decides that a bit of one-upping and passive-aggressive superiority is in order. She forces a smile and says, “Actually, the reason you haven’t met him and the reason he isn’t here today is because he’s famous.”

They’re both stunned into silence, and she feels a stab of satisfaction. What use is having a celebrity for a boyfriend if she can’t even stick it to somebody once in awhile? She knows he’d approve, anyway, so the guilt is nonexistent.

Dave recovers first. “Famous? Properly? You’re not putting us on?”

“Why do you think I’ve never even mentioned his name?” Clara points out reasonably, convincingly.

“What celebrities live here?” Is Linda’s question, as though she’s outraged she isn’t dating one herself.

This is where being an excellent repurposer of the truth comes in handy. “He lives in London, mostly,” she says. “It was a coincidence that we met.”

“Blimey,” her dad says, and then side-eyes her. “Why can’t you tell anyone? Is he ashamed of you?”

Linda gives her a similar look, and Clara gets the sense that she’ll be severely disappointed if they can’t turn this into something negative. “No,” Clara says. “He doesn’t want me scrutinized by the media. Which I’d also rather avoid, thanks very much.”

Her father raises his eyebrows, conceding. “Fair enough. Can you at least tell us what he does?”

“Actor?” Asks Linda. “Musician? Royalty?”

“Not royalty,” Clara answers, “and that’s all I’m prepared to tell you.”

“I’m your father,” Dave says, as if that gives him authority over who she dates at this point in her life.

She takes one last gulp of her cider, finishing it off, and says, “And I’m perfectly old enough to decide what I’d like to reveal about my own romantic life.” She forces a smile toward the two of them. “Linda, it’s been lovely, but as I’d told Dave, I do have somewhere to be at half past eight.”

She stands, kissing her dad on the cheek and gripping Linda’s hand in her own, beaming down at her as though it truly has been a pleasure (which it hasn’t) before leaving the pub. She waits until she’s out on the pavement, the last bit of sunset peeking through the clouds and fluttering down around her, before she starts to laugh and doesn’t stop.

--

The Doctor grins at the retelling, standing in the kitchen digging through a carton of chicken fried rice, her eating a bite of a dumpling in between sentences. The TV plays mutely in the background from the other room, unable to hold their attention nearly as well as they can hold each other’s. He says, sniggering, “What is my celebrity status good for if not to dangle over the heads of others?”

“Exactly,” she agrees, playful glint in her eye. “Why else do you think I keep you around?”

“Money, obviously.”

“Right, that too.” She sets her food down, wiping her hands on a napkin. “Speaking of money--”

“Here it comes--”

“--your birthday is next week.”

He groans. “I was hoping you’d forgot. I hate birthdays.”

“You love my birthday,” she points out, raising an eyebrow like a challenge of the memory.

“The older you get, the less likely I’m going to be crucified,” he says, smirking. “Despite the fact that we look exactly the same age.”

She smacks his arm lightly, snickering; he catches her hand in his and pulls her into him, arms settling around her waist. “Shut up. We do not.”

“I think I see a grey hair,” he tells her seriously, staring at the top of her head.

“Fucking Aries,” she snorts. “I’m dumping you.”

“How Sagittarius of you. The minute your patience wears thin...”

She reaches up, squeezing his face in her hands. “Focus,” she says. “What do you want for your birthday?”

“You, underneath me,” he tries to say, but the way the sound is muffled by her palms only serves to make her laugh. “Or, novel idea, bear with me - a new girlfriend.”

“You’re so difficult.” Her grip relaxes; she taps her fingers against his cheek, rolling her eyes. “Really.”

“You’re the one who said you were breaking up with me,” he says, but leans down and presses his lips to her forehead. “It’s a rollercoaster, this conversation.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

He finally surrenders to her, the same things he’s been doing all along. “I’ve everything I need right here,” he says, and kisses her, and she doesn’t have the will to push him anymore after that.

--

She gets him a set of beautiful custom-made guitar picks - four are galaxy-themed, gorgeous prints of the cosmos, and the other two are industrial, saying You tune me on and Pluck off respectively - and a white t-shirt with the words GIRLS INVENTED PUNK ROCK NOT ENGLAND printed in black on the front, which he loves.

“Absolutely true,” he says, holding it up. “Punk rock came from a mindset. Kim Gordon’s a smart woman.”

But unlike her birthday, they decide to go out; they’re less risk-averse than they were, and they’re bored, mainly. Hiding out at home just doesn’t carry the same weight it used to; they’ve been doing this for almost seven months already. Secrets are fun until they’re not.

They walk down to the local, meeting Jack, Donna, and River, who is randomly in town - nothing like a little trip to Pleasure Beach, she says with a heavy innuendo and a wink - and for the first time, sitting together, laughing, drinking, talking, Clara finally feels like she belongs with them. Donna doesn’t give her a single dirty look, and River opens up to her about her travels, her life, her relationships--

“John and I still see each other, once in awhile,” she reveals casually, with a shrug that says what can you do. “It’s true that the publicity was too much for him - he felt he got too big, in a way. There’s a reason he writes under the penname Eleven. He doesn’t like implications that come with notoriety.”

“Fair enough,” Clara concedes. “But you still meet up?”

“Well, we didn’t fall out of love, did we?” She says. “We simply decided that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to live our lives apart, and cross paths where we may.”

Clara doesn’t need to say it, doesn’t need to reply about the sounds of loneliness, the emptiness of space, of a barren, hollow touch. River’s hands measure distance in words, sentences, paragraphs folding over city lines, highland hills, oceans; she moves the way she drums, always steady, beating, searching, waiting. Clara won’t mention the longing, the desperate ache that comes with loss. River’s words are true but her eyes forgive the pity in Clara’s.

Across the table, Donna slips the Doctor a CD with Deep Breath written in sharpie across the case.

“Happy birthday,” she says, grinning. “Honestly, I think you’ve done it this time, mate. All of you. This is bloody brilliant, it is.”

“Well, I think we all know who to thank for that,” Jack drawls, winking at Clara.

River clears her throat. “Me, obviously,” she replies, smiling with all of her teeth. “Haven’t you heard? I’m a genius.”

--

They get back to his flat, four drinks in, his eyes hungrily scouring her body. She lifts her hand to his neck, nails trailing down, pressing her thumb against his pulse, throbbing under his fingers. She says quietly, “That first thing you asked for.”

He hums low in his throat, tips of his fingers melding to her hips, dragging her closer. “Yes?”

“You still want it?”

“Are you gonna make me say it?”

She smirks evenly. The room sheathes itself in shadow, in things only they’re allowed to see. “Yes.”

“Yes,” he breathes out, mouth hovering impatiently above her own. “I want you.”

“Where?” She murmurs, teasing him; she can feel him hard against her in his jeans. “Complete sentences, please. I have a literature degree.”

The noise that comes out of his throat is frustrated, sexy; he knows the game she’s playing, the same game they’re always playing. Someone has to be in control. Someone has to call the shots. It’s his birthday but she wants it to be her.

The twist of his mouth turns arrogant, cruel, hot. He can see the flash of her eyes, her understanding of the shift occurring, the imbalance.

“No,” he says, and her eyebrows raise, defiant and unmistakably turned on.

“No?” She repeats cooly, her nails sharp against his pulse point.

There’s a benefit to being bigger and taller than her, and he extorts it by backing her up against the wall, forcibly but non-threateningly, which is really the core of how they work; they’d never make the other do something they weren’t comfortable doing. They’re far enough along that they know their boundaries.

She swallows, looking up at him, one hand gripping a fistful of his shirt and the other tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck, pretending like she’s not waiting what to be told next.

“No,” he says again, slipping his thigh between her legs. She doesn’t change her expression, but he feels her grind down slightly against him, and he knows how turned on she is, know how wet she’ll be when he touches her. “Turn around. Hands against the wall.”

“Fuck,” she says, hating being told what to do but simultaneously finding it extremely hot. Her fingers spread, bracing herself. “Fuck you.”

One hand holds firm around her hip, and she can feel him undoing his jeans with the other; his mouth is suddenly at the shell of her ear and he murmurs, that stupid fucking smirk in his voice, “It’s what you’re about to do, darling.”

--

“No matter what happens,” Clara tells him later on, after they’ve worn each other out in bed and the sentimentality has its way of crawling through, “I don’t want to be like River and John. I want to live my life with you, not around you. Not by chance encounter.”

He only says, his arm curled around her waist and his stomach pressed against her back, “My sense of direction is terrible, so that’s definitely not an option.”

--

Her last day at work is boring. Her boss gets her a sticky toffee pudding while Danny looks on, heartbroken. Jesus Christ. She’ll never admit it to his face, but Jack had been right about him all along.

--

Jack rings her mobile a few nights after that, dead in the middle of April, chattering excitedly into her ear.

“Ten and Rose are back from uni in a week,” he says. “We should have a get-together.”

“They’re done with exams already?” Clara asks, surprised. The Doctor looks over at her from the other end of the couch. “Or are they going back for them?”

“Rose didn’t have any this term - but Ten’s aren’t until the first week of May, so they’re stopping by to see her family.”

“Oh, excellent,” she says. “So who do you want to invite?”

“Martha’s in town, and I think Rose wants to see Mickey.”

“And where do you want to host this many people?” She says, thinking about the last time they tried to fit even five people in her flat - disastrous. “I’m not sacrificing another piece of equipment to Ten; he absolutely destroyed my sound system trying to up the frequency of the bass last time.”

“To be fair, that thing was a piece of shit. He did you a favour.”

She grimaces. He’s not wrong. “So?”

“At the Doctor’s, obviously. That’s why I called.”

“You rang me,” she points out, flipping a page of the book she’s reading. “Ring him.”

He grows impatient. “He sucks at answering his phone - when I’m the one calling, at least - and you’re with him, aren’t you? Just ask him.”

She rolls her eyes, but obliges, sliding the phone away from her mouth. “Jack wants to have friends over here next weekend.”

The Doctor continues scrolling through the channels, unaffected. “Why?”

“Neither of our places are big enough.”

It’s a satisfactory answer. He shrugs. “Sure.”

She gets back on the phone. “Sure. What time?”

“Seven, on Friday.”

“Great. Now leave us alone,” she tells him, hanging up without waiting for a response. The guilt over the rudeness eats lightly at her afterward, though, so she texts him, Sorry, first day at the new job tomorrow, little on edge.

He answers understandingly, ur gonna do great, kid. luv ya with a bunch of heart emojis.

She shuts her book and curls into the Doctor’s side as he puts on Pointless, scoffing at the dumbass who offered The Yardbirds as a pointless answer for 1960’s British Invasion - twenty-two people wrote it down - and closes her eyes, trying, for once, to be dreamless.

--

Like most first days go, it’s not nearly as bad as she expects it to be. In fact, she finds with a swell of surprise, she loves it. She gets the tour and observes, memorizing as much as she can, and gradually throughout the week they allow her more involvement.

She’s mostly shadowing Ashley and another producer named Alice O’Donnell, who specialises in hip-hop and R&B, as they go through the daily motions of working with artists in the studio; Ashley in particular is working with a soul singer named Maisie Pitts, who looks like she could be straight out of the twenties, voice to match. Ashley has Clara offer up suggestions a few times, just as a practice to see how closely they’d align with her own comments, and she gets it on the mark more than once.

“You’re rather well-trained in pitch, aren’t you?” She asks after the third time Clara’s done this. “A lot of early audio engineers and assistant producers will start with tempo and flow and work from there, but you start backwards, with tone and pitch adjustments, even if they’re not technically wrong. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just more advanced.”

“And lyrics,” Clara admits. “I’ve taken more than one songwriting class. My mum always said if you don’t start with the true notes and words, the real music can’t come out no matter what you do to it. Flow and tempo are easy fixes.”

“She sounds like a wise woman,” Ashley says.

“She was.” Clara smiles fondly. Ashley picks up on the implication and mirrors the smile back to her.

“Vocal focus now, Maisie,” Ashley says, holding down the button that enables them to communicate with her. “Clara’s going to come in and switch out the mics.”

“Large condenser?” Clara asks, already standing up.

“That’s the ticket.”

“Alright.” Clara opens the booth door, offering a grin to the woman taking a sip of water between takes. “Hey, Maisie. You sound great.”

She smiles sincerely. “Thanks so much. It’s my first EP, so I’m a tad nervous.”

“Well, it’s my first week, so I understand that,” Clara replies, hauling over the stand for the new mic.

“You’re doing excellently, too, then,” Maisie jokes, and Clara actually laughs.

“I’d like to think.” She lays out the cords carefully on the floor, making sure they’re not waiting to trip Maisie up while she sings. “Can I guess your inspirations?”

“Go on,” Maisie says, seeming pleased at the attention to detail.

“Ella Fitzgerald,” she starts. “Sarah Vaughan, Peggy Lee. Billie. And I’d definitely say Anita O’Day as the big one.”

Maisie grin splits wide. “Truly? You’ve picked up on all that?”

“Of course,” Clara says, stepping back and adjusting the actual mic, speaking into it as a test. “You’ve a beautiful voice - smoky, dynamic--” Ashley gives her a thumbs-up from the studio, and Clara nods, “--smooth. Brilliant.”

“Thank you,” Maisie says earnestly as Clara walks out, throwing a wink over her shoulder.

“From the top,” Ashley says when Clara’s seated again, her smile approving, Maisie giving it all she’s got on the other side of the glass.

--

Friday, the end of her first week, is when she finally sees her friends again.

She actually meets them outside her own flat, because they don’t know that she’s dating the Doctor and she’d like to keep it that way - she imagines Rose’s gloating, the comments, suggestive prods and pokes - and even though Clara know she’d be supportive, she’s not ready. Jack understands and doesn’t press her on it, nor does the Doctor, who probably wouldn’t care one way or another at this point.

She’s waiting outside the gate when she hears loud footsteps approaching; she starts to turn her head and someone comes crashing into her side, squealing; she recognizes Rose immediately, and the two of them clutch each other for five minutes, overwhelmed and excited. Ten and Mickey are first behind her, grinning at the sight, followed by Jack and Martha, chatting.

“Rose!” She exclaims, finally pulling back and gazing the girl. “God, look at you, lovely as ever. Lovelier, in fact. Oh, I adore you.”

“I could say the same about you!” Rose chimes, holding her hands and examining her head to toe. “I swear, if I didn’t have a boyfriend…”

Ten leans in and hugs her as well. “Ta, Rose, appreciate that, but can’t say I don’t understand the reasoning.”

Clara laughs, only realizing at this exact moment how much she’d missed the two of them. “Ten, always a pleasure.”

“Cheers, darling.”

Jack flicks her on the forehead in lieu of a hug. “I see you constantly,” he says. “You’ve gotten old.”

Martha comes round Jack’s other side, rolling her eyes at him as she and Clara kiss each other on the cheek. “He’s as American as ever. Hi, Clara, wonderful to see you again.”

Mickey wraps her in a huge hug, and then Jack offers, “Shall we?” And starts to steer them along like cattle. Rose clutches onto her arm and tells her all about her modules, their year, where they’ve traveled and what they’ve seen, Ten chiming in occasionally to correct or add a detail. It’s a quick walk down the road, the evening air warm enough that they don’t need jumpers or coats just yet, and for once, it’s not raining. All the signs are there. It’s a good night.

They get to his flat and Rose whispers, “I can’t believe we’re going to the Doctor’s flat. He’s legendary! How did Jack manage this?”

Clara shoots her a somewhat quizzical look. “Oh, he’s here,” Clara says.

Mickey, overhearing, says, “I’m sorry?”

“He’s home,” she repeats. “He’s not lending Jack his flat unsupervised.”

“Oh, sorry,” Jack says, shooting her a look. “I forgot to mention that.”

“We’re spending a night with the Doctor?!” Rose exclaims, and even Martha laughs at her shocked enthusiasm.

“Not in the way you’d like,” Ten says, smirking.

“Oh, shush, you. Don’t have a go. This is exciting!”

Martha says, “Is it weird that I’m nervous, even though I’ve met him loads of times?”

“No, me too,” Mickey agrees. “Well I haven’t met him loads of times, but, you know.”

Jack leads them all up to the door and knocks once before letting himself in; the Doctor’s left it unlocked for them. He spreads his arms wide and says, “Ta-da! The Doctor’s living room. He spends a lot of time in here. Go ahead, phones out, take your pictures.”

A tut comes from the kitchen, and the Doctor steps into view, setting a few ciders on the counter. “I’m right here,” he points out, grinning. “Go on, take a photo of me. Sell it to the tabloids, that’s much better than some furniture I sit on.”

“And the man himself,” Jack says, again extending his arms like it’s a show he’s putting on. “You heard him. This is your opportunity to exploit fame and riches.”

Jack claps his arm in a greeting, sliding by him to where he knows his alcohol cabinet is. “You remember Clara,” he says over his shoulder.

“Of course,” he says, his eyes wicked, and this is sure going to be a harder night to get through than she’d previously imagined. “Clara, it’s lovely to see you again. Been awhile.”

She smiles charmingly. “Thanks so much for letting us crash your flat,” she answers, sickeningly agreeable. “We were gonna do it at mine, but I simply don’t have the room.”

“It’s no problem,” he says. “I’m hospitable, if nothing else.”

“Clara!” Jack calls. “Could use your help!”

She steps to the side, and Rose has an expression on as if Christmas morning has been wrapped up into a person and set right in front of her; Mickey sort of looks like his face is melting. Ten’s the only one that manages to control himself. “Doctor, this is Rose, Mickey, and Ten, Rose’s boyfriend,” she introduces them in turn.

He greets them all nicely, turning to Martha, and Rose breathes out, seemingly on accident, “Clara, come on, you didn’t have to tell him that.”

Clara coughs once, trying to restrain an inappropriate laugh. Well, at least she’s validated in her desire of him; Rose is two years younger than she is. She forgets what it was like to be a guest in his life. Ten says, “I’m feeling rather unwanted. Should I leave you two alone together?”

Rose shakes out of it slightly, laughing at her silliness. “Sorry, sorry. Being so close to greatness affects me.”

Jack calls for Clara again; she sighs. “Be right back. Make yourselves comfortable.”

She finds him with two beers in each hand, and an open liquor cabinet in front of him. He says, “I had to snap you out of it. You were on the verge of flirting.”

“We were not,” she responds exasperatedly, taking two of the beers from him. He reaches for the whisky, and then follows her back to the kitchen; bottles clatter on the countertop.

“Drinks?” He calls out. “There’s beer, cider, every kind of liquor imaginable--”

They shout out their requests from where they’re sprawled comfortably now about the living room, and the Doctor comes over, shooing Jack away. “It’s fine,” he says good-naturedly. “You’re guests tonight.”

“Oh, but not me?” Clara raises an eyebrow. “What am I, then?”

“Hot,” he says under his breath, grabbing the whisky. “It’s torture. I need to drink to forget about it.”

She laughs, but helps him gather the glasses and mixers; Ten wants an Old Fashioned, which is somehow so him, and Rose and Mickey just take beers, which is also so them. Martha opts for a whisky sour, and because Jack isn’t an ass, he also sticks with whisky, taking a Highball.

The Doctor’s spent a lot of time mixing his own drinks, and Clara literally used to bartend, so they’ve no problem pulling together the requests; he actually has fun with it, which Clara thinks is strangely cute, because he’s never really hosted a ton of people in his flat. She hands them around and then sits on the sofa that’s essentially become her second home, stretching out casually. Rose is telling some story about Croatia, and Ten almost falling into the harbour, when Clara catches the Doctor walking by with his glasses now on and a book in his hand.

“What are you doing?” She asks pointedly, and everyone stops.

Jack catches hold of the situation quickly and jumps in, not wanting her to betray herself. “Yeah, c’mon, man. Live a little,” he says. “Hang out with us. Kick back with your mates.”

“I will if you never say that again,” the Doctor responds, and Rose laughs loudly; even Martha manages a giggle.

“Hear, hear,” Rose says as the Doctor comes and takes a seat at the other end of the couch. “Anyway--”

She launches into another story, and Clara isn’t allowed to stare but she takes a glance anyway; in the warmth of the room, of company and light and laughter, his face grows softer, genuity along the lines. His defenses lower as he finds himself actively interested and engaged, talking with them, smiling at jokes, being honest around people who aren’t just her. She wonders how long it’s been since he’s felt trust, and familiarity, and family.

Clara’s talking about her new job and he’s staring in that way he’s not supposed to, like he adores her, like he’s addicted to every word out of her mouth, like love itself is in the room with them strung along in the space between their bodies, but they’re all drunk and no one’s paying attention now, anyway, and fuck it all, he’s so happy it’s killing her. He looks like he did on that first night, that first party, laced in champagne and eagerness and innocent embarrassment.

One day, surrounded by this same group of friends, she’ll talk about it. But not now. His eyes gaze at her over the rim of his glasses, his mouth in a tender curl. Not now.

--

“See?” Clara says knowingly, later, when they’re in the kitchen refilling drinks and murmuring to each other things no one else can hear. “It’s nice to have friends ‘round, isn’t it?”

--

It’s late by the time they wrap up; half past two in the morning, exceptionally drunk and giggling at everything, even if it isn’t funny. Rose nearly falls asleep on Ten, and they decide it’s their cue to not overstay their welcome by literally crashing there.

“Coming, Clara?” Martha asks, slipping on her coat, and Clara freezes entirely.

She’s taken aback at the invitation because the idea of leaving afterward literally never crossed her mind, like it probably would have if they were just friends. He pauses for the briefest of seconds, but continues; she recovers quickly. “Oh, no, go on,” she says, smiling. “I’m gonna help clean up - I don’t mind. I’m the closest, anyway.”

Martha doesn’t question the response, and neither does anyone else; they wave goodbye and trot out the door, stumbling over each other Jack being the last to leave and throwing them a wink.

“I forgot that’s what people do,” Clara says to the Doctor, loading the dishwasher unsteadily. “You think it looked suspicious?”

“Nah,” he says, focusing very hard on a single glass. “I think you covered pretty well - probably made them feel bad about not staying.”

She grins, and breaks midway for a yawn. He notices and allows the cutlery he’s holding clatter into the sink, uncaring about the mess.

“Fuck it,” he dismisses, rubbing at his eyes with a palm. “We can do it in the morning - let’s just sleep, I’m exhausted, and drunk, and definitely gonna break something.”

“Thank God,” she says, shutting off the water, and she exhaustedly heads into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She swears she almost falls asleep with her toothbrush in her mouth, but he catches her and laughs hysterically before running into the door, and suddenly they’re both awake again, stumbling around and giggling at everything like the universe is one big joke scrambled together for their own amusement.

--

“I feel bad,” Martha says, wrapping her sweater tighter around her body - it’s transitioned into a cool, damp night. “We should’ve stayed to help.”

“Nah, you’re the guests,” Jack replies, easing her guilt, his hands shoved in his jacket pockets. “I don’t think he cared.”

“Clara was a guest,” Mickey counters, “and she stayed.”

Jack’s quick, but not quick enough to hide his smirk from Rose. “Yeah, but she’s a good person, or something like that.”

Rose repeats slowly, locking eyes with Jack, “Or something like that.”

Shit; she picked up on it, of course she fucking did. Actually, he’s amazed that none of the others had, considering the way the two of them were fucking staring at each other all night. He’s got to give them a lesson in subtlety. “Shut up, Rose.”

Martha says, “What?”

Rose leans in to Ten, grinning widely. He wraps an arm around her. “I’ve known Clara for years, Jack,” she reminds him. “You think I can’t tell?”

“I’m not doing this,” Jack rejects. “Clara’s totally fine.”

“Doing what?” Mickey says, exchanging a puzzled look with Martha. Ten remains silent, probably for the first time in his life, but it’s clear he’s also in on the secret; he has that superior expression plastered across his face that drives Mickey insane.

“Oh, I know she’s fine,” Rose answers ominously, eyes wide, “because she’s not actually going home, is she, Jack?”

“Oh, my God,” Martha exclaims. “Are you saying--”

“No fucking way,” Mickey says, voice laced with accidental admiration. “They’re--”

“Everyone, shut the fuck up!” Jack commands, trying to suppress his own smile. In truth, he’s been dying to tell someone for ages. “Rose, I can neither confirm nor deny your suspicions.”

“You just did,” Ten points out, snickering as she ducks out from under his arm. “Shit, Rose, we leave for a few months at a time and look what we miss--”

“They’re, like, together,” she announces victoriously, almost singing, poking Jack in the sides; he smacks her hands away, laughing. “How long has this been going on?”

Jack gives it up; he’s done his best and it wasn’t enough. “I refuse to say anything more.”

“I don’t believe it,” Martha says. “The Doctor? Date anyone?”

He completely gets that perspective. Rose sneaks his phone out of his pocket and stops in the middle of the street, dangling it in front of his face. “Call her,” she says. “I’m gonna prove it, right now. Call her.”

Rose is stubborn to a fault, and Jack knows better when to argue with her - Martha’s the one in disbelief, anyway, so from his perspective, he’s blaming this outing on the Doctor’s inability to hide his affection. “Fine,” he says, rolling his eyes.

He finds Clara’s number in his recent calls and dials, and Rose puts the phone on speaker; Clara answers on the third ring, clearly exasperated.

“What do you want, Jack?” She asks, aiming for grumpy but sounds too cheerful for it. “You literally just left us like fifteen minutes ago.”

He grimaces. Rose raises an eyebrow and Clara’s use of ‘us.’ “How’d cleaning up go? I felt bad about leaving,” he bullshits, putting a finger over his lips.

Her tone softens slightly; she sighs, and he hears her shuffling around. “Oh, we gave up on that,” she says. “We’re gonna do it in the morning. We’re just going to bed.”

Martha’s jaw drops. “No,” she mouths.

“Okay,” Jack responds. “Didn’t mean to bother you guys - just wanted to let you know everyone had a great night.”

“We’re glad to hear it--” She cuts off; they hear the Doctor in the background ask, Hear what? And then Clara’s repetition of their conversation. He says something none of them can decipher and she laughs. “We had fun, too,” she tells Jack.

“No, go back,” Jack says, now grinning. This is their usual dynamic. “What’d he say?”

Clara snickers. “He said it’d have been more fun if it had just been him and I. He’s an ass.” She pauses while the Doctor talks. “What,” they hear her say, “you gonna kick me out?” Another moment of silence. “‘Mistreatment’?” She’s laughing. “Go write a song about it.”

The Doctor distinctly says fuck you in the background and then she’s back on the phone, the smirk apparent in her voice. “Sorry,” she says. “We’re breaking up now because I’m ‘too mean to him’ or something, so I gotta go deal with that.”

She’s clearly joking, and they’re all smiling evenly; even Martha can’t deny how cute they sound. “Okay, go,” Jack waves her off nicely. “Dump his sorry ass. You’re too good for him anyway.”

“See?” Clara gets further from the phone. “I’m not conceited, Jack thinks I’m way too good for you, too. He says I should dump you first--”

The line goes dead; everyone glances around without meeting each other’s eyes too long, like they feel almost bad about intruding on the couple’s intimacy.

“How long has this been going on?” Rose finally breaks the silence; from her perspective, the deceit was totally worth it.

“Like just over six months - I don’t know when they officially started dating, though. I think sometime in the middle of December.” He’d never pried about that one. “But they met at the end of last September.”

“It’s the third week of April,” Ten says. “They started unofficially dating just after they met? That doesn’t sound like Clara.”

Rose is gonna have a field day, he can feel it. “They...hung out, if you know what I mean.”

Mickey snorts. “They were shagging around.” Rose almost guffaws, she’s so ecstatic about this turn of events.

Jack shrugs. “I mean, I knew they’d like each other. I just didn’t know how long it’d take for them to actually admit it. So don’t say anything to them, don’t act like you know, don’t do shit - you wouldn’t believe what I had to go through to get them to this point.”

“I would believe it,” Rose says. “Clara has outrageous issues. She’s shite at relationships.”

“So does he,” Jack tells her, ushering them out of the way of an oncoming car and stepping back onto the pavement. “That’s why you can’t say anything. They’ll freak if people know.” He pauses. “How did you know, actually? What gave it away?”

“Yeah,” Martha chimes in, affronted. “I like to think I’m pretty observant, and I had no idea.”

“It’s probably because you see them a lot more often,” Ten explains. “So their natural progression didn’t stand out to you. But we haven’t seen Clara since last year - honestly, I don’t remember ever seeing her this happy.”

“But I didn’t notice nothing, either,” Mickey says, put-out.

“Well you’re a moron,” Jack replies, “so no surprises there.”

“It was a few things.” Ten breaks up a fight before it starts. “Clara kept her arms crossed every time she was near him, like she was actively trying to stop herself from touching him, and the way he smiled at her was the only genuine smile I saw him give all night. It had more of an edge to the rest of us.”

“Wow,” Rose says, impressed. “I just felt a vibe. And I saw them whispering in the kitchen when they were getting drinks, and it just looked - I dunno. Too natural, I guess. Like, you can obviously tell they spend a lot of time together.”

“They do.” Jack’s grinning to himself, quietly in a way. He’s worked hard. “It’s sickening.”

He doesn’t mean that at all.

[cyndifferous]

Kind of a Neverender Story

On May 2nd I attended my 10th Coheed and Cambria show and every day that followed for a month or so since then was a storm of emotions and fuzzy feelings. Every time I try to write this down I get annoyed at my own self and trash it so please bear with me. 5 years ago, February 2012, I got an email about Coheed going on tour like the dozens of emails that came before it since I discovered them only this time, almost 10 years into being a fan I finally decided it was time to go. "I need to do this, babe, just once. I need to get it out of my system, I'll never ask again. Just once." That's what I said to my husband before buying our tickets. I've been living this lie for over five years now, and there's no signs of stopping because every moment since then has been like living in a surrealistic bubble of "how did I get from there to here?" Plus I've won him completely over to the Coheed side, he doesn't even try to fight it anymore. We went and I got my first taste of what it was truly like to be a Child of the Fence. There were people in line with guitars singing Coheed songs, no one was rude, it was like everyone knew everyone else and in a way they did because I learned that every Coheed fan has a home in other Coheed fans. I ran in terror every time a band member was coming or going from the bus, amazed that they were so approachable as other fans said hi or got autographs. My brother in law had a good laugh at my expense when he said, "isn't the lead singer the one with the big hair? He's right there," while I stood frozen in place and I'm sure all the color drained from my face. I literally could not force myself to move. The show was absolutely everything I'd dreamed about and so much more. I found myself square in the danger zone of the pit, the crowd was insanely rough, but my eyes did not waiver from that stage. I planted my feet and turned all my focus into not getting sucked backward so I wouldn't miss a single thing. Every memory of coming to love this band, every part of my past life and the people I shared it with, every painful experience in my life that their music carried me through flooded my mind and hit me in my soul. Watching these guys perform with such zest and energy, as if it would be their last show ever breathed life into me, and when Claudio sang Mother Superior, my favorite song at the time, I wept openly and unabashedly while my husband held me tight. (Ok he was actually holding me up because I was not prepared for how physically exhausted I would be) After the show tons of people were gathered on the corner by the tour bus and I talked my husband into letting us stay despite the 3 hour drive home ahead of us. I met so many COTF that I still know and attend shows with today, people I consider "staples" because I always expect to see them in my corner of the southern US and they're always there. The crowd thinned and suddenly Josh pops out of the building and yells, "WHERE IS DOUGIEFRIZZLE?" o.O This Dougie character skips up, vinyl sleeve in hand (an OG IKS pressing), gets it signed by Josh, gives him a huge hug, explains that he's been waiting forever for Josh to rejoin the band because he was missing only his signature. As it turned out, Doug had tweeted to him that he needed him to sign and Josh being the amazing human he is came out to make it happen. Josh hung out for a bit, talking to everyone, signing things and posing for pictures, even gave one guy a beer from the bus because he said that's all he wanted. I was still terrified and I'm pretty sure I didn't speak. Some time around 2 am, what was once a crowd of us had thinned to about 25 of us; venue security had gone home no doubt believing that we are all insane, and my brother in law had long since retreated to the car to sleep. Coheed's tour manager, Pete, came off the bus and in a very no-nonsense manner gave us the news we'd been waiting for, that the band was going to come out for a meet and greet. At 2 am. In downtown Birmingham. WHAT!! "Have your cameras out, I will take your pictures, if you want something signed have it ready. Any shenanigans and we're getting back on the bus." I didn't have any words for them, except that Zach didn't come out so I requested that. He came and said "I didn't think anyone would want me to," so humble and sweet that man is. I left after getting my pictures and my ticket signed (by all but Josh) and when we passed back by I yelled "I love you Claudio" out the car window and I still cringe when I think of that, hahaha! I didn't sleep that night, how do you just go to sleep when you can feel your life slowly pulling into focus? I love my husband and my children, but I'm a stay at home mom and it can really be the pits sometimes despite the fact that I know I'm extremely lucky to be able to be home with them. At this particular time in my life things were out of whack for me, not as badly as they would come to be, but enough that my own worth already felt unimportant and lost in the repetitiveness of my boring existence. I revitalized a twitter account I had created a few years before and never tweeted from and went on a follow frenzy. I filled the void left by being stuck at home all the time with Coheed fans. I finally had a place to let me be myself, not wife or mommy, just Cyndi. Not only that, but I found hundreds of people just like me: totally invested in Coheed and Cambria, excited about it all the time, where the conversation never ended. People from all over the world, different ages, and from every walk of life you could imagine. What I found was my second home. Thus Cyndifferous was born and I'm onto the meat of my story. In the Coheed community, 10 shows is a drop in the bucket for a lot more fans than you would think, so while I'm personally celebrating that accomplishment, what I came here to talk about isn't that at all. I want to talk about the fans, my friends, my people. I threw myself into the community, dubbing twitter my own personal Heedfeed. I'm always excited about Coheed and when other people are excited too it bleeds back into me and doubles it. I'm pretty sure that I have organs and a nervous system that keep me living, but I'm also pretty sure that without Coheed & the COTF it would all cease to function. I'm a people person and the COTF community welcomed me with open arms. I started using keyword searches to find new friends, and also to share excellent content that may have otherwise been missed. What's great about our community is that even when the band is taking time off, or there's a lull while waiting for movement, there's still ample things to talk about and no shortage of people to talk to. Over the last 5 years in all my personal ups and downs, no matter the distance, I always had my cotf friends for support. When I'm bored, they're there. When I'm sad, they're there. When I'm ecstatic or miserable or anywhere in between. We even get excited about each other's upcoming shows, merch scores, and personal victories. There is no room for jealousy in Heaven's Fence. No room for egos and competition, because we're all so busy looking out for one another and having each other's backs. As true and steady as the keywork that holds Heaven's Fence in place. I've never not felt like the COTF community is my place in the world, my little niche, a safe space for everyone who shares the love for this band that gave us so much just by existing. I mentioned earlier that I've been in a whirlwind of emotions since the show and it's time to clarify. Since the moment I came on board this community I have never felt unwelcome, not even when I would rack up 1,000 tweets in a day or live tweet lyrics to two or three albums in a night. Not even when I parted ways with one project after another, some with an uproar, others a silent exit. Not even when I was constantly asking questions because, let's face it, there's a lot to know about Coheed, it's counterparts, and it's members. People like Neesh who have been around the community seemingly since the beginning of time and who are still enthusiastic and completely on board with welcoming a new person and bestowing upon them what feels like all of their knowledge, but is probably just beginning to scratch the surface. I remember laaaaaaate nights in the RadioXenu chat room with Neesh learning little nuggets of band history, staying up literally all night the night she showed me The Mours and some SUPER old demos from Shabutie & Weerd Science. (Neesh's YouTube channel is a gold mine just by the way) After all this time she is still active and vocal in the community, and still just so damn nice to EVERYONE, that's impressive especially considering how many people I've seen wax and wane or come and go. My point is, Neesh inspired me to always be that person, to always be open and welcoming and a home for COTF, most especially the new ones just hopping on board our particular brand of crazy train, trying to find their place in our vast community. The least I can do after all of the unexpected kindness that has been shown to me over the years is continue to pass that on...forever. Seeing Good Apollo I'm Burning Star IV, Volume 1: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness live in all of its glory was an experience I could relive every moment for the rest of my life and die happy. In fact, I hope when I'm about to embark on my next life and my life memories replay that this night is featured. Literally everything about the day was perfect, the weather, the friends, the food. And as the night began it took a huge leap into epic, beginning with witnessing one of the most beautiful moments I've ever witnessed at a show. (I'm looking at you, Yui. And also at you Ern, you amazing human, you.) I'm sparing details because I came here to talk about what happened post-show, I think I've told enough show stories for now, ha! For me, approximately 60% of a Coheed show is meeting people. Internet friends, old friends, new friends, there's no such thing as strangers. This particular show was a "homecoming" of sorts for me because Atlanta is usually where I see my Coheed shows and the previous two tours I skipped Atlanta in search of new places and faces. I got to see people I have missed so dearly since IKS Neverender, including Tim, the very first COTF to ever show me the kind nature of our community at my first show, and also the first I'd heard of people who travel around the country just to see these guys perform their miracle of musicianship. There are not many things in life that parallel the joy of recognizing someone and saying "I KNOW YOUR FACE," even when you've only ever seen it in a tiny profile box online. And so begins a series of happenings that have filled my heart to the bursting point. My bestest friends & I, Jim and James AKA The Awkward Team, met up for this because we are separated by so much distance (Mississippi, Iowa, Florida) that we try our hardest to come together for shows at least. We arrived in Atlanta the day before the show and it wasn't long before our friend Ian reached out to see what we were up to that night. Turns out he was just handed a shitty life card and needed some company! We all met up at Buckhead Pizza Co, my very first day-before-the-show hang, usually I'm a lump in my hotel room the day before haha! We had so much fun hanging out in that pizza place, and being there for Ian to take the burn out of a real bummer of a situation was awesome. Even Nina Uber'd over to hang out with us! Our pizza hangs turned into parking garage hangs and we all laughed so much our faces hurt. In short, thank you for messaging me Ian, you made our night probably 10x more fun and it was great to finally get the time to hang out with you! The show was....I can't even find the adjective to accurately convey that particular evening. The energy was high in the crowd as it always is in Atlanta, but this one was unlike any other. We had full-venue waves going on, it took us a few tries to get the whole floor and balcony involved but when it finally came together it was unforgettably amazing. I thought I would regret choosing to be in the all-seated balcony for this show, but as it turned out the entire balcony was on their feet for the whole show. Give Coheed fans at least one square foot of space to move and dance in and we will do it. And we did. I've been to a couple of shows with a very laid back crowd, this was the exact opposite and that energy conveyed to the band on stage as they powered through one of the most difficult albums in their discography. They moved and grooved right along with us, with the biggest smiles I think I've ever seen them play a show with. And when Final Cut came up, Claudio disappeared from the stage and reappeared ten feet to my left in the balcony shredding a solo and letting a fan play his guitar. Those moments, when the band is floating on the energy of the crowd, when every note they play slams more energy around, when you can tell they're happy to be where they are and loving what they do are next-level. If we could bottle up the energy from a show like that we could live forever on it. I may never experience another show quite like that one, but if not I won't be at a loss because it was immortalized on Coheed TV and I revisit it often. https://youtu.be/aLkoNo5f-r4 After the show I always hang around outside, its prime time to talk about the show, meet up with people you missed beforehand, and sometimes even catch an impromptu meet and greet. I was sitting down in the parking lot because even though I had a balcony seat I was on my feet dancing, jumping and moving around during the entire set. It wasn't long after the show that a gentleman approached me and introduced himself as someone from twitter and thanked me for....being me? I'm trying to stay clear of personal vanity, but he thanked me for being kind and and friendly online, told me I was the first COTF he followed, and it was truly awesome to meet him. He flew all the way from Kansas to come to the Atlanta show! I live and breathe for moments like that, when internet and real life collides unexpectedly and someone expresses their gratitude for me. I can dish out compliments all day long, but taking them is hard for me because I'm just a potato of a person who loves Coheed. What I do is not a special skill or talent, I just love to talk and I happen to have a ton of free time to do that with. So thank you, carnacolypse! I catch a fair amount of grief sometimes from my family for the amount of time I spend online, and those moments where someone tosses me appreciation for that, even though I'm just doing what I do, makes the sting of that grief go away. I'm just a girl in Mississippi, I've said it all along and I'll continue to say it forever. I am not special in any way, but my friends sure do make me feel that way. Not overshadowing all of the other COTF I got to meet for the first time that day, including Alison who came all the way from Canada and started her epic multi-date heedtrip at the Atlanta show! Coming home after a heedtrip is hard. Post-Coheed depression is a very real thing for a lot of fans. I love my kids, and I miss them like crazy when I'm away, but I see them every day of the year, my cotf friends get 2, 3 or 4 if I'm SUPER lucky and coheed busts out a secondary market tour. Sometimes it's not so bad, but this time I was missing my awkward team and sad that the Neverender I felt like I'd waited a lifetime was now officially behind me. A tough pill to swallow. I stayed horizontal pretty much all of Thursday. As always though I fell back into the swing my boring existence, empowered by the task of staying positive and continuing to share and discuss the events of Coheed's continuing tour. A new Tales From The Grail Arbor video drops every so often and this sounds silly, but it hypes me right back up again. Dirty Ern has a way with photos and videos, capturing moments that flood you with memories of your own adventures while enjoying clips of someone else's. I've teared up with joy during almost all of the 16 episodes that have come out so far. PLUG- if you haven't subscribed to Coheed's YouTube do that right now, CoheedTV is everything you love about Coheed DVDs but free and is also a comprehensive behind-the-scenes look into what tour life is like. There are still more episodes on the way. https://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialCoheed -ENDPLUG The reality is though, that the joy of being a COTF never really stops coming, even when the post-show sadness tries to sink into my soul. This community is everlasting. The connection is always there, no matter the distance. There's always something happening, someone talking, lives being lived under the precious veil of COTF life. (It's not just a band after all, it's a lifestyle) So while the post-Coheed funk comes hard and fast and devastating, it lifts quickly enough and you propel forward into the next big thing. For me, watching the next wave of excitement when the U.K. leg of the tour started was pretty epic. Following their heedtrips as they come together from so many different countries is amazing. But currently, that's excitement that Coheed is returning to the Amory Wars storyline with their next album (YAY!), the knowledge that Josh is hard at work on a couple of different and very exciting musical endeavors (one of which I was lucky enough to hear a sample of and you people should be over the moon excited for it), and of course the upcoming Chonny and Clyde project. Not to mention, we're still not quite halfway through the release of the long awaited Good Apollo comics, and each issue brings with it another wave of fun because this series is incredible and extremely well done. Truth be told there's always something around the next corner with this band and their members, and that's a big reason why I love being a fan of these people and their art. It's now been almost 3 months since Neverender in Atlanta. The tour has long since finished, SDCC has come and gone, and once more the quiet waiting has settled in. The lull. But today is my birthday, and I can't even put into words how incredible it is to wake up to a flood of birthday greetings from literally all over the world. Close friends and acquaintances the same took time out of their days and lives to wish me well on my birthday and the gratitude and love I feel every single year takes my breath away. It doesn't get old, it never fails to put the biggest smile on my face. In reality my birthday is just another day, but the hundreds of people that I've met, or will soon meet, or may never meet make this day special. It serves as a reminder that I have found my home in another place. I am a person with more to offer than the hundred jobs that fall under the stay-at-home-mom blanket title. It carries its own joy, but knowing that I still exist as a person apart from that is a gift because I have lost that before. There isn't another community in the entire universe I would rather be a part of than this one. I hold great pride in all of you, my friends who keep me going, who share my life with me and allow me to share in yours. Thank you with my whole heart, and thank you Coheed for doing what you do and caring about your fans and putting so much of your time and effort into making sure each move you make is bigger and better than the last. You boys are a rare gift, and your fans know that fully well with everything you do. **Disclaimer: I wrote this a little at a time so my apologies for any errant or incoherent parts, or anything I may have left out. "Words don't come with ease."

[redsoapbox]

Mitch Tennant’s Track-by-Track Guide to Head Noise’s Debut album, Über Fantastique

Mitch Tennant, singer/songwriter & keytarist with electro art-punks Head Noise, was kind enough to write this guide to the band’s recently released debut album Über Fantastique, especially for redsoapbox.

1. KINGDOM OF CROOKED MIRRORS

We had a lively debate at Head Noise HQ over which song to open the album with, either this track or the one that follows. We eventually decided on “Kingdom of Crooked Mirrors” to kick-start the debut as we think it encompasses all things Head Noise and has a great splattering of our influences in a catchy, oddball pop song. The title of the track comes from a 1963 Soviet fairy tale film and is loosely inspired by Lewis Carroll’s “Through the Looking Glass”. The song reflects our own mantra for creative passion and is also a look at an outsider’s perspective for abstract art and trying to make sense of the senseless. It’s like Alice In Wonderland without the drug references. Ignore the evils of the world and just let the childlike magic speak for itself. 

2. 200,000 GALLONS OF OIL

I was on my lunch break one day surfing the web and a pop-up article came on-screen about fuel, oil refining and other industrial processes that I had very little interest in. However, the title of the piece “Pipeline Spills 200,000 Gallons of Oil” really jumped out at me. I wrote it down and put it aside with my collection of other alphabetical oddities that I type up on Notepad. A little while after, Wayne sent me an electropop demo with a bouncy, squelchy bassline which I felt matched up to this wording perfectly! The title of the song has some sort of political or eco-warrior ring to it but it’s always a surprise to people who question what the song is about, and we say “Uhh… It’s just about oil?” What kind of oil do you want it to be? I’ll leave that up to you, but here are some suggestions: vegetable oil, or maybe oil to slick back your hair.

3. JAPANESE BATTERIES

One Christmas, my partner gifted me an Otamatone, which is basically a screwed-up Theremin/Stylophone synth-like device that is in the shape of a musical note, however it looks more like a giant sperm! It’s become a popular instrument on Youtube for fashioning unusual sounding covers of songs, such as Boney M’s “Rasputin” and A-ha’s “Take on Me”. I was totally amazed by the packaging - it had a little Japanese man with fluffy hair, the inventor of the instrument, looking off into the distance, not unlike some surreal propaganda poster art. The song is, basically, a homage to this strange instrument, and it’s played on the track, not long after the first chorus, just to show off the unusual noises that it makes.

4. ANATOMICALLY CORRECT SHUFFLE

This is a song where I feel the bassline really helps to give the song a danceable bounce, that’s why the title of the track has “Shuffle” at the end of it. This is the first of the collaborations that we have on the album. Wayne sent me a demo he was working on with some bass being played by his friend “Monkey” (who I still haven’t met yet) under the working title “Monkey Jam”. When we started putting the album together, we were coming out of that mad scientist stage persona from the Microwave EP run of shows, so I had a whole lot of science stuck in my mind. I thought we’d go gung-ho as a farewell to the bygone days of false nerdy scholarship with a classic Head Noise sound to it. The lyrics for the song are like an amalgamation of a botched surgery, unusual ailments and chronic nightmares. Luckily, we have Brill onboard to give it that fun little jaunty undertone on the synth, to help keep us sane and avoid any potential lobotomies.

5. MYSTERY LIQUID

This is another Notepad scribble title that I just had to make into a song! When you hear songs about drinking, it’s usually either a fun affair (a drunken pub singalong) or a dark, cautionary tale (alcoholism), so we were looking to meet in the middle between jolly and sombre. I was influenced by Spike Jones & His City Slickers and their song “Clink! Clink! Another Drink”, especially for its humorous look at binge drinking from a 1940s perspective. It seems so harmless and funny, but it’s much more morally twisted if you look at it from the outside. With a bassline from our good friend Connor Llewellyn of Math Rock band “Common Spit”, the song turned into more of a fast-paced rocker with some added spoken word and Dada inspired lyrics from Cat Daczkowski who also plays in Rock band KASIA. I really liked her vocal style as it reminded me of Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth’s unique and unbothered singing approach, so we NEEDED it on the album somewhere.

6. AIRSTRIKE 4000

When I was young, I used to love my Sega Megadrive games console! I played games like Streets of Rage, Golden Axe and Desert Strike, but I got bored easily with Desert Strike because I wouldn’t always know what to do. I wanted to write lyrics that broke the fourth wall too, so the song starts out as a homage to a made-up Sega game in the style of Desert Strike. Then I get bored about halfway through and changed the theme of the song, just like when I was 8 years old and trying to play the bloody game before turning it off to play Sonic & Knuckles instead. It’s a Lo-fi retro Rock vs Synth song with some amazing guitar wobbles/shrieks from Brill and some wicked retro sounds darted across the duration of the track.  

7. NITRO

When we were lucky enough to support “Public Service Broadcasting” last year at the Muni Arts Centre in Pontypridd, we wanted to go all out with a wacky elaborate stage show. We roped in our good friend Mark Strange to help us put together some surreal extras in the set such as a puppet show and a battle royale with Mark dressed up as a Ninja Turtle. We wanted to create our own little ‘introduction song’ for this show for when we walked onstage akin to Devo’s “Corporate Anthem” instrumental. So, Wayne put together our own track to help introduce the band as Mark walked out dressed in a lab-coat to inspect the equipment before we came on. There isn’t much else I can say about this track really other than performance is key! We decided to give the song a promotion from introduction song to intermission song which now sits about halfway through the album. In fact, that’s why it is called “Nitro”, it’s just an anagram of “intro” but with some dynamite flair! 

8. SHRUNKEN HEAD

We used to open the live set with this song. It’s a song about idiocracy within the musical world, not too far off “Cherub Rock” by Smashing Pumpkins. The song is stacked with surreal imagery, which also includes a reworking of the “I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream” phrase from Science Fiction writer Harlan Ellison as a pre-chorus. I think it’s important to have passion in what you do creatively, and you shouldn’t allow others to mistake that devotion for egotism. I went to “Ripley’s Believe it Or Not” oddity museum in Blackpool a couple of times over the years and I got to see a real (or ‘real fake’, you be the judge?) shrunken head in a glass case. Rhys Jones plays some cool guitar lines on this track which is like a mix between Egyptian rhumba and the live dissection of a squirrel. It is an interesting song and we like it very much.

9. INTRUDER-ESQUE

Have you ever had those nights when you’ve gone to bed and looked over at the other side of the room in the dark to see the blurred black outline of a wardrobe or a hanging coat? In a sleep-addled state, this can be terrifying and can lead to “sleep paralysis”. I thought it was an interesting subject to pick up on. We gave the outro to Lloyd Markham of Psych-Electro band Deep Hum to use as his personal synth playground and we love it! I think the entire track captures the vibe of uneasiness that you can get in a sleep-deprived state when you don’t entirely feel safe, with an unknown threat lurking in the shadows.  

10. I EAT CANNIBALS

An old friend of mine said the Toto Coelo song “I Eat Cannibals” sounds like something Head Noise would cover, so we just went off and covered it. I think it goes a little hand in hand with “Shrunken Head” and its voodoo vibe. The track features fantastic backing vocals by Miss Cat Southall, singer extraordinaire! I’m a fan of bands who re-work covers to suit their own sound. We always have an unusual cover in our back pocket if things start to go pear-shaped! We’ve previously recorded songs by Sonic Youth and The Bangles.

11. MR. EVERYWHERE

This is a Rocker Wayne had been working on for a little while until we decided to give it more context and “beef” so to speak. It’s basically a punk song that’s been shaved down to a shouty rock song, with a little bit of synth here and there. The song’s lyrics simply reflect how busy we felt after we released the Special Effects EP and how being in a band can be a lot of stress as much as a lot of fun. 

12. NO PHOTO | NO FILM | NO TELEPHONE

On a trip to Venice, I stopped by St Mark’s Basilica to see the famed “Horses of Saint Mark”. There was a sign near them saying “No Photo, No Film, No Telephone” which made me laugh. Anyway, the track was inspired by a warning sign, but is about the overuse of modern communication technology and the brief escape that we get from these devices. It’s crazy to see how much the world has changed in 20 years, so we summed it up quickly with a fully Electronic Pop song featuring a fun shout-a-long chorus.

13. COMPLY

Someone said to me recently “music has been intrinsically linked to politics since like forever!” and even though there is some truth in that statement, I refuse to believe that it is the most important reason for someone to enjoy listening to music. This is my own attack against people who like to moan and whine until they get what they want, whether it is logical or not. It’s our own protest song which protests protest songs. We’ve made sure the song is happy and upbeat, because ignorance is bliss, eh? 

14. GAMMA GUTS

The spiritual successor to our single “Microwave”, in fact, it’s a loose sequel of sorts. I have a fear that there isn’t enough science behind the use of microwaves. I imagine that there are some harmful side effects, but it scares me to think that we might not have a clue. The song is split into two parts - the first is a goofy little Electro Rock song about the digestion of nuclear materials and then the second part is an electronic instrumental, orchestrated by the band Massa Circles. There are some beats donated by John Barnes and some shouts by Anthony Price too. The song reminds me of Eric Clapton’s “Layla” because it starts off as a fun Rocker and ends with an emotional instrumental akin to side 2 of David Bowie’s Low album. This is one of our favourite songs to play live at the moment because it gives us free rein to experiment musically.

Visit the archives section to read the album review.

[thisloveistaylorreputation]

For the ask thing: What do you think of that (unofficial) "new track" from the UPS ad? What's the best advice you've ever been given? What was your reaction when you found out you were going too Taylor's tours? Do you play instruments? Write songs/stories/poetry? What's the best book you've read? Sorry this is probably like way too much but I really love you and your blog and I know answering questions is fun, lol, so I hope this wasn't overwhelming!! (PS you and I have the same name!! Awesome!)

OKAY JUST A WARNING I AM S O SORRY THIS IS SUPER LONG

OMG OKAY FIRST OF ALL THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR FOLLOWING MY BLOG AND BEING THE CUTEST SWEETIE EVER AND TWINNING NAMES WITH ME AND ASKING ALL THESE QUESTIONS I LOVE YOU (also dm me if you wanna be friends or something *hint hint wink wink* ❤️❤️❤️)

I think the UPS "New" track is a highly distorted version of the background vocals for a song off reputation. I don't think there's enough there for it to be a main part of the song, and since it's mostly repeating the same line I'm assuming background vocals. I don't really think at this stage I can say if I like it or not, but right now I'm leaning toward I like it, but not my favorite.

I'm literally like KNOWN for giving advice (I am wise beyond my years, I've been told). But I can't think of any specific time. Often I quote Taylor or the lessons she's taught me or things and ideas she's inspired me about.

OKAY SO this is a hard one to explain BUT!!! When I was little I didn't listen to music much. I heard the huge hits but didn't associate them with artist names. I jammed to fifteen, love story, you belong with me, mean, and mine, and later WANEGBT without EVER realizing that they were all Taylor. Around the time that the Red Tour came around I was 12/13 and just starting to get into music - emo, punk, and metal music. I reallyyyyy wanted to go to a concert and I was very vocal about it. So one day my mom says, Taylor Swift is going to be touring in the area, should we buy tickets? And I said, "I don't know who she is and I don't know her songs." (SHOCKING, I know). Tbh, I really wanted to go to a Fall Out Boy concert. Anyways, so we bought the Red cd and I started listening to it every day (but usually just got through the first half) and I liked it a lot!! We bought the tickets and on July 13th, 2013, we went to the Red Tour. We got there early, I bought the shirt with the album cover on it, and we sat alllll the way in the other end zone. She looked like a speck (but there were screens). Apart from the hits I didn't know the songs too well. She looked stunning, and after hearing her in between monologues during the tour I really fell in love with her and became a fan. It was a super fun atmosphere to be in!! Sadly, I lost all my tour videos. This was also when I found out that her favorite number was 13 (she talked about how it was super important that this concert be on the 13th). ALSO our special guest during the concert was Patrick Stump THE LEAD SINGER OF FALL OUT BOY so I died and looking back I got to see 2 of my faves it's so surreal. After the concert, I started listening to Red a LOT more, and started dabbing into her old stuff too (Our song was the first old thing I heard I think).

Okay so for 1989 I was more pumped because at this point I was a fan. I watched the livestream when it came out and bought the deluxe album on release day and set up 3 computers to buy tickets. We got better seats!!! I went to the concert wearing the red tour shirt and switched into my new 1989 tour shirt (the blue one). We saw a few people is costumes and were slightly confused (I was not a diehard swiftie or on tumblr at the time but I was keeping up with weekly Taylor updates and considered myself to be quite the fan). I also bought the drawstring bag and the 2 thin 1989 tour bracelets. Buying the tickets and leading up to the tour I was SO EXCITED because all I could remember is how amazing the last tour was and how it inspired me and changed my life forever and made me find Taylor. The tour was AMAZING!!! And I only lost my shake it off video!!! Haha.

I would add my thoughts for the reputation tour already but this is post is already long enough.

I play a lot of instruments. I've been playing the clarinet since elementary school. My first real expense was spending $100 to buy a flute. I bought a flute because all my friends at the time played the flute and it was uncool to be a clarinet player. I also felt ostracized in my section with no fellow clarinet friends or even other girls (I now realize that playing the clarinet has helped me to be one step closer to squidward). I picked up guitar after I begged for lessons so that I could play chords and cool rifts like all of my favorite band members. My guitar teacher basically told me that I'll never be good at guitar because my hands are p abnormally small and I eventually lost interest and faith in myself. I rediscovered guitar after watching a million of Taylor's acoustic performances back to back and bought myself a nice new guitar at the end of 2016 and began playing a lot, wanting to be good at playing despite my small hands and not caring about if my form was "correct" or not. I also can play a few chords to some of Taylor's songs on piano. I love singing and I try to do it as much as I can but I don't really sing with other people around and if I do I try to sound bad because I'm afraid that people will think my real singing voice is bad and I think it's decent so I don't want to ruin that.

I used to try writing stories but it's not really my forte. I have written quite a few songs ~50 with lyrics, music, and background. I'm hoping maybe I can try making a demo sometime next year in college. I would share and try to get a following or something, but I don't want any of my work stolen. I do write poems sometimes too, or sometimes poems turn into songs. My poems are usually very emotional, usually very sad.

I do not read often. It's partly because I don't have time, and partly because I feel uncomfortable reading. I have a reading problem (idk if it has an official diagnosis) where basically I read really slowly and sometimes I add words or skip words to sentences and I can't really understand things unless I am reading with my finger tracing under each word. I don't like reading because people usually judge me for the pace I'm reading at, or I can't put my finger under the words to help me or I'll be judged, or when people think I am dumb because of the struggles I have when it comes to reading. I'm not really a fan of fiction, so I'm currently reading a few self help books, the most recent called "make your bed". It's a short book that teaches you life lessons through short stories about a former Navy SEAL.

Sorry that this is so long! I hope you enjoyed!!! (If you did, please like this so that I can feel good about taking all this time to write it and knowing someone appreciates it) thank you so much!!!

Ask me more questions if you want (you probably won't want to after this long answer lmao)

[pardontheglueman]

Head Noise / Uber - Fantastique

For the best part of 18 months Aberdare’s Electro Art-Punks Head Noise (Mitch Tennant Vocals & Keytar), Wayne Basset (Synths & Guitar) and Jordan Brill (Synths & Guitar) have been working away on their debut album Über-Fantastique, a record which they describe, in typical Head Noise fashion, as a ‘bombastic, electropop fever dream’. In a detailed, track-by-track guide, Mitch Tennant talked to Kevin McGrath about the record they are about to unleash on an unsuspecting Welsh public.

1. KINGDOM OF CROOKED MIRRORS

We had a lively debate at Head Noise HQ over which song to open the album with, either this track or the one that follows. We eventually decided on “Kingdom of Crooked Mirrors” to kick-start the debut as we think it encompasses all things Head Noise and has a great splattering of our influences in a catchy, oddball pop song. The title of the track comes from a 1963 Soviet fairy tale film and is loosely inspired by Lewis Carroll’s “Through the Looking Glass”. The song reflects our own mantra for creative passion and is also a look at an outsider’s perspective for abstract art and trying to make sense of the senseless. It’s like Alice In Wonderland without the drug references. Ignore the evils of the world and just let the childlike magic speak for itself. 

2. 200,000 GALLONS OF OIL

I was on my lunch break one day surfing the web and a pop-up article came on-screen about fuel, oil refining and other industrial processes that I had very little interest in. However, the title of the piece "Pipeline Spills 200,000 Gallons of Oil" really jumped out at me. I wrote it down and put it aside with my collection of other alphabetical oddities that I type up on Notepad. A little while after, Wayne sent me an electropop demo with a bouncy, squelchy bass line which I felt matched up to this wording perfectly! The title of the song has some sort of political or eco-warrior ring to it but it's always a surprise to people who question what the song is about, and we say "Uhh... It's just about oil?" What kind of oil do you want it to be? I'll leave that up to you, but here are some suggestions: vegetable oil, or maybe oil to slick back your hair.

3. JAPANESE BATTERIES

One Christmas, my partner gifted me an Otamatone, which is basically a screwed-up Theremin/Stylophone synth-like device that is in the shape of a musical note, however it looks more like a giant sperm! It’s become a popular instrument on Youtube for fashioning unusual sounding covers of songs, such as Boney M’s “Rasputin” and A-ha’s “Take on Me”. I was totally amazed by the packaging - it had a little Japanese man with fluffy hair, the inventor of the instrument, looking off into the distance, not unlike some surreal propaganda poster art. The song is, basically, a homage to this strange instrument, and it’s played on the track, not long after the first chorus, just to show off the unusual noises that it makes.

4. ANATOMICALLY CORRECT SHUFFLE

This is a song where I feel the bassline really helps to give the song a danceable bounce, that’s why the title of the track has "Shuffle" at the end of it. This is the first of the collaborations that we have on the album. Wayne sent me a demo he was working on with some bass being played by his friend "Monkey" (who I still haven't met yet) under the working title "Monkey Jam". When we started putting the album together, we were coming out of that mad scientist stage persona from the Microwave EP run of shows, so I had a whole lot of science stuck in my mind. I thought we'd go gung-ho as a farewell to the bygone days of false nerdy scholarship with a classic Head Noise sound to it. The lyrics for the song are like an amalgamation of a botched surgery, unusual ailments and chronic nightmares. Luckily, we have Brill onboard to give it that fun little jaunty undertone on the synth, to help keep us sane and avoid any potential lobotomies.

5. MYSTERY LIQUID

This is another Notepad scribble title that I just had to make into a song! When you hear songs about drinking, it’s usually either a fun affair (a drunken pub singalong) or a dark, cautionary tale (alcoholism), so we were looking to meet in the middle between jolly and sombre. I was influenced by Spike Jones & His City Slickers and their song “Clink! Clink! Another Drink”, especially for its humorous look at binge drinking from a 1940s perspective. It seems so harmless and funny, but it’s much more morally twisted if you look at it from the outside. With a bassline from our good friend Connor Llewellyn of Math Rock band "Common Spit", the song turned into more of a fast-paced rocker with some added spoken word and Dada inspired lyrics from Cat Daczkowski who also plays in Rock band KASIA. I really liked her vocal style as it reminded me of Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth’s unique and unbothered singing approach, so we NEEDED it on the album somewhere.

6. AIRSTRIKE 4000

When I was young, I used to love my Sega Megadrive games console! I played games like Streets of Rage, Golden Axe and Desert Strike, but I got bored easily with Desert Strike because I wouldn’t always know what to do. I wanted to write lyrics that broke the fourth wall too, so the song starts out as a homage to a made-up Sega game in the style of Desert Strike. Then I get bored about halfway through and changed the theme of the song, just like when I was 8 years old and trying to play the bloody game before turning it off to play Sonic & Knuckles instead. It’s a Lo-fi retro Rock vs Synth song with some amazing guitar wobbles/shrieks from Brill and some wicked retro sounds darted across the duration of the track.  

7. NITRO

When we were lucky enough to support “Public Service Broadcasting” last year at the Muni Arts Centre in Pontypridd, we wanted to go all out with a wacky elaborate stage show. We roped in our good friend Mark Strange to help us put together some surreal extras in the set such as a puppet show and a battle royale with Mark dressed up as a Ninja Turtle. We wanted to create our own little ‘introduction song’ for this show for when we walked onstage akin to Devo’s “Corporate Anthem” instrumental. So, Wayne put together our own track to help introduce the band as Mark walked out dressed in a lab-coat to inspect the equipment before we came on. There isn’t much else I can say about this track really other than performance is key! We decided to give the song a promotion from introduction song to intermission song which now sits about halfway through the album. In fact, that’s why it is called “Nitro”, it’s just an anagram of “intro” but with some dynamite flair! 

8. SHRUNKEN HEAD

We used to open the live set with this song. It’s a song about idiocracy within the musical world, not too far off “Cherub Rock” by Smashing Pumpkins. The song is stacked with surreal imagery, which also includes a reworking of the “I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream” phrase from Science Fiction writer Harlan Ellison as a pre-chorus. I think it’s important to have passion in what you do creatively, and you shouldn’t allow others to mistake that devotion for egotism. I went to “Ripley’s Believe it Or Not” oddity museum in Blackpool a couple of times over the years and I got to see a real (or ‘real fake’, you be the judge?) shrunken head in a glass case. Rhys Jones plays some cool guitar lines on this track which is like a mix between Egyptian rhumba and the live dissection of a squirrel. It is an interesting song and we like it very much.

9. INTRUDER-ESQUE

Have you ever had those nights when you’ve gone to bed and looked over at the other side of the room in the dark to see the blurred black outline of a wardrobe or a hanging coat? In a sleep-addled state, this can be terrifying and can lead to “sleep paralysis”. I thought it was an interesting subject to pick up on. We gave the outro to Lloyd Markham of Psych-Electro band Deep Hum to use as his personal synth playground and we love it! I think the entire track captures the vibe of uneasiness that you can get in a sleep-deprived state when you don’t entirely feel safe, with an unknown threat lurking in the shadows.  

10. I EAT CANNIBALS

An old friend of mine said the Toto Coelo song “I Eat Cannibals” sounds like something Head Noise would cover, so we just went off and covered it. I think it goes a little hand in hand with “Shrunken Head” and its voodoo vibe. The track features fantastic backing vocals by Miss Cat Southall, singer extraordinaire! I’m a fan of bands who re-work covers to suit their own sound. We always have an unusual cover in our back pocket if things start to go pear-shaped! We’ve previously recorded songs by Sonic Youth and The Bangles.

11. MR. EVERYWHERE

This is a Rocker Wayne had been working on for a little while until we decided to give it more context and “beef” so to speak. It’s basically a punk song that’s been shaved down to a shouty rock song, with a little bit of synth here and there. The song’s lyrics simply reflect how busy we felt after we released the Special Effects EP and how being in a band can be a lot of stress as much as a lot of fun. 

12. NO PHOTO | NO FILM | NO TELEPHONE

On a trip to Venice, I stopped by St Mark's Basilica to see the famed “Horses of Saint Mark”. There was a sign near them saying “No Photo, No Film, No Telephone” which made me laugh. Anyway, the track was inspired by a warning sign, but is about the overuse of modern communication technology and the brief escape that we get from these devices. It’s crazy to see how much the world has changed in 20 years, so we summed it up quickly with a fully Electronic Pop song featuring a fun shout-a-long chorus.

13. COMPLY

Someone said to me recently “music has been intrinsically linked to politics since like forever!” and even though there is some truth in that statement, I refuse to believe that it is the most important reason for someone to enjoy listening to music. This is my own attack against people who like to moan and whine until they get what they want, whether it is logical or not. It’s our own protest song which protests protest songs. We’ve made sure the song is happy and upbeat, because ignorance is bliss, eh? 

14. GAMMA GUTS

The spiritual successor to our single “Microwave”, in fact, it’s a loose sequel of sorts. I have a fear that there isn’t enough science behind the use of microwaves. I imagine that there are some harmful side effects, but it scares me to think that we might not have a clue. The song is split into two parts - the first is a goofy little Electro Rock song about the digestion of nuclear materials and then the second part is an electronic instrumental, orchestrated by the band Massa Circles. There are some beats donated by John Barnes and some shouts by Anthony Price too. The song reminds me of Eric Clapton’s “Layla” because it starts off as a fun Rocker and ends with an emotional instrumental akin to side 2 of David Bowie’s Low album. This is one of our favourite songs to play live at the moment because it gives us free rein to experiment musically.

[themousai]

Q+A: Once Foretold

Where did the name ‘Once Foretold’ come from? Robin and Nathan were always complete nerds growing up, and after like 2 weeks of really stupid names in the group chat Nathan found a Magic the Gathering card called “As Foretold” and one of us (can't remember who) decided to change the “As” to “Once” and that was that really. We were seriously pushed for time since we had our debut show not far after that and the band name was kind of the last thing on our minds at that point.

Where did you guys all meet? Nathan and Robin - We mostly met each other through school, Nathan (being a good friend to robin at the time, and just starting to learn how to scream) came along to a practice for Robin's old band called "Our Last Days" and we ended up making a band called "A Reflection of Yesterday" where we became mates with Lily through SFRQ and playing local shows (rip kings arms...). Nathan also used to play in a band called "Overseer" and that's where he met Max. We met shay after our first drummer Ross left us, he had just finished playing with Fire For Glory and I was at his last show with them where the frontman josh said that if anyone wanted him for a band they should snatch him up quickly because of how good he was. A little while later we put out a post on facebook looking for a drummer and he hit us up.  Lily - I used to play in a post-hardcore band in high school called “Hello Headache” and when we did Smokefree Rockquest Nathan and Robin’s band “A Reflection of Yesterday” was at my local heats. They fucking killed it and I was their biggest fan haha. We actually ended up becoming really good friends over time. I asked Max to join the band when I happened to stumble across a guitar demo he posted to Soundcloud and asked if he was interested in joining the band. I met Shay at an EP release show I was playing with my other band REI back in 2017 at the UFO and I totally didn’t know how amazing of a drummer he was until I got him to audition. Will be sad to see him go after these last shows we have booked.

Where do you guys draw inspiration for your music? Robin - Periphery, Architects, Dali Thundering Concept Lily - Maximum the Hormone Max - Thornhill, Silent Planet, Erra Nathan - I draw inspiration from whatever the other guys listen to. Also Parkway Drive, and Killswitch Engage.

Do you find that the creation process of your music is equally collaborative? Or do certain members take on certain elements? Robin and Max - We make a basic layout and present it to the band where they'll tweak it from there during the learning process, we tend to give Nathan creative freedom vocally which tends to yield the best results as it's something most of us are not exactly familiar with doing.

You guys just completed a little run of North Island shows - if you could put together a full NZ tour featuring any other two NZ bands - who would they be? Robin - Seas of Conflict, Pale Flag Max - Pale Flag, Seas of Conflict Lily - Banks Arcade, Lookin Up Nathan - Cripple Mr. Onion, Liit

Do you have any fun stories to share from your tour? Robin and Lily - it was a reaaaallly cold windy day (like 4ºC) when we got wellington, but Max decided he wanted to jump into the harbour from the jumping platform they have in front of Te Papa, he called Lily who was at our accommodation with the guys from REI and made him meet us there with Max's towel. After Max jumped in and came back up we noticed a bunch of signs warning people not to jump in as the water was polluted quite badly. after this for the rest of the night max was freaking out thinking he was going to get sick and googling all the different illnesses he could get from it. We just kind of kept adding fuel to the fire by telling him he was screwed and was going to start growing extra limbs and stuff haha. Max - Getting a speeding ticket for going 87 in an 80km zone. Nathan - Playing out of Auckland.

What can we expect from you guys in the near future? Unfortunately Shay will be leaving us soon, which is a huge bummer for all of us but we are extremely grateful for all he has done with us, so we will be on the hunt for a new drummer soon. We just finished pre production for the EP we have been working on and will start tracking the songs very soon, Shay will be recording the drums with us before he leaves which is awesome as he really contributed to the material we have made and it wouldn't really feel right for us to not capture that.

Lastly - convince our readers to come catch you at ‘Auckland Will Be Laid To Waste’ in 3 words Robin - Break downs, spin kicks, best friends. Nathan - Free eternal erections. Lily - Crash Team Racing Max - Defend Pop Punk

Quick Fire

The one song I wish I wrote is... Robin - Garden of Sankhara by Monuments. That band really meant a lot for me when I was learning songwriting and this song really showed me that even if you are a crazy technical band, less is more sometimes. Nathan - The Final Episode - Asking Alexandria Max - Indonesia - August Burns Red Lily - Z Densetsu: Owarinaki Kakumei - Momoiro Clover Z

Three things I can’t live without are... Nathan - Coke, Oxygen, skin Max - Bikes, Defending Pop Punk, open notes Lily - Fried chicken, pho, Tekken

If I could only play music in one genre for the rest of my life it would be... Max - Probably metalcore/progressive metal because I find it most fun to play on guitar but. Pop punk is up there though although if I was just playing guitar in the genre I wouldn't want to do it forever. Robin - Progressive metal, the nature of it is to experiment and try new stuff, so it would keep me happy. Lily - Post-hardcore. I am das uber emo mans.

Three adjectives that describe my life are… Robin - Impulsive, chill, creative Max - active, nerdy, fun Lily - Dance, Gavin, Dance

If I held a world record it would be for…Robin - Losing a phone the most times in one party. Max - Having the most hobbies. Lily - The most powerful roundhouse kick in terms of weight to power ratio.

My first memory of loving music is… Robin - My sister used to show me a bunch of music and I owe a lot to that, but I remember hearing Metallicas “wherever I may roam” for the first time and being like “duuuuuuude”. the ambient intro into that chunky ass riff immediately got me hooked and I wouldn't stop listening to it. Max - Buying my first CD which was Linkin Park’s Meteora. Lily - Being introduced to Linkin Park by my older brother. I literally only listened to LP up until year 9.

The song of mine that I am the most proud of is… Robin - one you guys haven't heard yet! Max - Parallax Lily - Sovereign. It’s a song I wrote but tbh I’m mainly proud of it because the working title for the song was “Anus of God”.

My favourite venue I've ever played is… Robin - Kings arms, 100%. so many crazy bands have played there and I genuinely feel honoured to have been a part of it's story. Max - Kings Arms Lily - I’ve never played the Kings Arms but I wish I did. As a consolation, I’d say Valhalla in Wellington because WELLINGTON IS AN AWESOME CITY TO PLAY IN.

The ideal environment for me to create music in is… Robin - I used to say in my home recording set up, but now days as i'm getting into electronic production a lot more I sometimes really enjoy having a space with no distractions away from home, uni is great for that I find. Max - I’m just the classic bedroom soundcloud djent guitarist who just needs some monitors, an interface and a DAW with some decent plugins haha Lily - Alone in a room with a laptop that has Guitar Pro on it.

If I could have any two bands open for me they would be… Robin - Metallica and Slipknot... just to flex. Max - I feel awkward picking any bands to open for me because all the bands I think of are either equally as good or better Lily - The Jackson 5, and Momoiro Clover Z (But only with the OG line-up, they’re really not the same without Momoka)

(disclaimer: This interview was sent prior to Auckland Goes To Waste, and so the last question in the interview is now invalid. However I would like to testify that Crash Team Racing was very present, and I won 100% of the games that I played. If you didn’t make it along - you can read about it here)

Keep up to date with Once Foretold Facebook | Instagram | Spotify

Interview + Photo by Mandie Hailwood

[stephaniemarlowftw]

CAVE IN ANNOUNCE NEW ALBUM, ‘FINAL TRANSMISSION,’ DUE OUT JUNE 7TH VIA HYDRA HEAD

LISTEN TO THE BRAND NEW TRACK "ALL ILLUSION"

In February of 2018, the members of Cave In gathered at their rehearsal space in Boston to work on material for their next record. It had been nearly seven years since their previous album, White Silence, had been released. But they’d been writing and rehearsing methodically, off and on, to craft a worthy follow-up. In that time, guitarist/vocalist Steve Brodsky had started prog-metal power trio Mutoid Man, drummer J.R. Conners and guitarist Adam McGrath started psych-punk outfit Nomad Stones, and bassist Caleb Scofield was busy with simian rock supergroup Old Man Gloom and his own band, Zozobra. After jamming all weekend with Cave In, Caleb got in his truck and drove home to New Hampshire. It was the last time his bandmates would ever see him.

On March 28th, 2018, Caleb was killed in an auto accident. There are no words to describe what a devastating blow this was to his wife and children, his friends, family and bandmates—not to mention his countless fans around the world. A light had gone out—a light with a monstrous bass tone and a feral roar. An occasionally stubborn light with a million-dollar smile who loved his family and music above all else. To describe his death as a tragedy would be a colossal understatement. Caleb didn’t live to see 40.  

Benefit shows were held in Boston and Los Angeles, complete with performances from longtime friends and touring partners Converge, Pelican and 27. Cave In played with Converge bassist Nate Newton and Caleb’s younger brother, Kyle, filling in on bass. Old Man Gloom played with Brodsky on bass. Even long-defunct comrades Isis reformed under the non-threatening code name Celestial for a onetime performance—their first in nearly a decade—in celebration of Caleb’s life and music. All proceeds went to his wife and children.

Rewind to that night in February of ’18: Steve, Adam and JR are hanging out at Adam’s place after Caleb heads home. They get a text message from him with a voice memo attached. It’s an idea for a new song. Caleb is playing an acoustic guitar and humming a melody. “Hearing his voice fucks you up a little bit,” Adam says today. “We were surprised to get it from him, actually, but we thought it was great. And that was it. In a weird way, it’s the end of the story as far as our relationship together.”

That voice memo is the haunting opening track of Final Transmission, the first Cave In album in eight years and the band’s last with Caleb, who performs on all of the songs. “Adam, Steve and I would sometimes get together to work on stuff when Caleb couldn’t make it,” J.R. says. “But the next time Caleb would be there and the songs turned into something else. It became much more of a Cave Inproject than it was before he showed up. He had weird rhythms that none of us would ever come up with or think to try, which turned the material into a different thing. He had a huge hand in these songs.”

Originally intended as demos, Final Transmission was brought to fruition by the band, mixed by Andrew Schneider and mastered by James Plotkin. “Getting these mixes back was really hard,” Steve says. “I don’t think I’ve cried so much putting together any record. I’ve definitely felt like bursting into tears while I was working on things, but this was actual water being shed. I don’t try to look too deeply into how these things work, but these recordings are some of our last moments spending time with him.”

Caleb’s voice—musical and physical—are everywhere on Final Transmission. After the opening title track/voice memo, he plays bass on six of the album’s remaining eight songs, and guitar on the other two. Steve points to “All Illusion” and album closer “Led To The Wolves” as being particularly Caleb-driven. “‘Led To The Wolves’ is a Caleb song,” he says. “It’s his composition and mostly his riffs. If you know White Silence, you can smell the fumes of that record on ‘Led To The Wolves.’ And White Silence was heavily shaped by Caleb’s hand.”

“All Illusion” was another Caleb composition that Steve had originally written lyrics for. But that changed not long after Caleb’s passing, when Adam went to visit Caleb’s wife, Jen, and their two kids, Desmond and Sydney. “Jen found some lyrics in one of Caleb’s journals,” Adam explains. “She was going to tear them out and give them to me, but I just took a picture because I wanted her to keep it. We used the lyrics for ‘All Illusion,’ which is a song that really haunts me. I feel like it’s a weird message from Caleb sometimes.”  Listen to (and share) "All Illusion" now on YouTube.

Most of the lyrics and vocals for Final Transmission weren’t finished until after Caleb’s death. “The song ‘Shake My Blood’ was my first opportunity to express what I was feeling about the whole situation,” Steve explains. “It’s a mix of extreme grief, frustration and anger. I was trying to do something to gain the clearest answer about whatever the next move might be. We worked on the lyrics together, and all three of us sing on that song—Adam’s doing the high harmonies and JR is doing the low harmonies.”

Collaboration is one of the defining forces behind Final Transmission. “Over the years, the songwriting in Cave In has become more and more of a communal effort,” JR observes. “In my mind, it hit the pinnacle with this record that’s about to come out. It was so easy to throw around ideas between all four of us that we kinda got everything in there that we wanted to get in there. I don’t think we were aware of it at the time, but maybe subconsciously we wanted to put the best of what we’ve done in the past into this record.”

Even a cursory listen of Final Transmission will offer glimpses of past Cave In eras, from the scintillating space rock of their 2000 breakthrough opus Jupiter to the ripping metal melodies of White Silence. All told, it’s a direction that was largely spearheaded by Caleb. “When I look back at our email correspondence about the demos, Caleb had a really crystallized view of how to navigate the whole thing,” Steve reveals. “He was really digging the stuff that was spacey, heavy, a little bit weird, but with very pretty melodies and hooks—which is a very surface-level way of looking at Jupiter. So I think he was encouraging us to embrace what we’ve always been good at and what sets us apart from our contemporaries. That’s what made Jupiter a turning point for the band. So there was definitely that creative motion to slip back into the spacesuits.”

Half of the proceeds from Final Transmission will be given to Caleb’s wife and children. “I feel really lucky to have this record,” Adam concludes. “I love it, but I don’t like listening to it. I’m sure I’ll listen to it eventually, but right now it’s difficult. Just hearing him play kills me. I’ll miss him forever.”

Final Transmission, Track listing

1. Final Transmission 

2. All Illusion 

3. Shake My Blood 

4. Night Crawler 

5. Lunar Day 

6. Winter Window

7. Lanterna 

8. Strange Reflection 

9. Led To The Wolves 

Cave In, Live Dates: 

April 10 - Berlin @ Festaal Kruezberg w/Old Man Gloom, Bossk 

April 12 - London @ Electric Ballroom w/Old Man Gloom, Bossk 

April 13 - Tilburg @ Roadburn Festival 

October 19 - Boston, MA @ The Sinclair w/ Miltown 

Final Transmission, pre-order links:

USA: https://hydrahead.merchtable.com  

[britishchick09]

the 200th ranking! :o

...jk it’s only the 15th ranking BUT THERE ARE 200 SONGS NOW OMG!!!! :o

see the newbies below ;)

love

1.    ob la di ob la da anthology 3

2.    nowhere man

3.    because

4.    my bonnie

5.    i saw her standing there

6.    here comes the sun

7.    i need you

8.    the night before

9.    i’m down

10.  i’m looking through you anthology 2

i love how different this is from the album one! the clicky instruments paired with the guitar and the double vocals sound so great together and the laugh scream at the end is so cute! (and this sounds even better at 1.15 speed!) :D

11.  revolution esher

12.  christmas time is here again

i love the vocals and how there are so many variations despite repeating the same lines over and over! the single version is really nice (not a fan of john’s poem), but the full 5 minute version is awesome! :D

really like

13.  i’ll follow the sun

14.  devil in her heart

15.  a hard day’s night

16.  she loves you

17.  with a little help from my friends

18.  do you wanna know a secret

19.  back in the ussr

20.  octopuses garden

21.  can’t buy me love

22.  strawberry fields anthology 2

23.  take good care of my baby

24.  i’ll be on my way

25.  i call your name

26.  all my loving

27.  baby’s in black

28.  while my guitar gently weeps anthology 3

this is so gentle compared to the original! it’s very calming :)

29.  for you blue

30.  this boy

31.  don’t ever change

32.  when i’m sixty-four

33.  shout

34.  two of us

35.  penny lane

36.  the ballad of john and yoko

37.  one after 909

38.  i want to tell you

39.  i will

40.  sweet little sixteen

41.  ain’t she sweet

42.  sure to fall (in love with you)

43.  i’ll be back

44.  she came in through the bathroom window

45.  i feel fine

46.  i’ll cry instead

john’s double vocals are cool and the rhythm sounds really bouncy! :D

47.  i’ve just seen a face

48.  i’m looking through you

49.  honey pie esher demo

even though the 30s-inspired music was great, the guitar with the bongos fits with the vocals more. and paul’s ‘la la la’ thing at the end is fun! :)

50.  i’m happy just to dance with you

51.  crying waiting hoping

52.  your bird can sing

53.  you won’t see me

54.  all together now

55.  i me mine

56.  anna (go to him)

57.  in my life

58.  i wanna hold your hand

59.  help

60.  ‘till there was you

61.  rock and roll music

62.  boys

63.  i don’t want to spoil the party

64.  don’t pass me by

65.  wait

66.  yes it is

67.  i’m so tired

68.  p.s i love you

69.  what goes on

70.  for no one

71.  hold me tight

72.  ticket to ride

73.  across the universe

74.  i’m a loser

75.  another girl

76.  revolution

77.  oh darling

78. she said she said

THIS HAS SUCH BIG 1984 VIBES OMG! i love how it sounds just like the movie! :D

79.  eight days a week

80.  nothin’ shakin’

81.  something

82.  revolution 1

83.  birthday

84.  besame mucho

paul’s vocals make this sound so fancy! and the ‘cha cha boom!’ is great too :D

85.  mother nature’s son

86.  every little thing

this is a nice little song that reminds me of the beatles channel :)

87.  you’ve really got a hold on me

88.  we can work it out

89.  while my guitar gently weeps

90.  i’m only sleeping

91.  money (that’s what i want)

92.  all you need is love

93.  please mr postman

94.  act naturally

95.  hello goodbye

96.  good day sunshine

like

97.  norwegian wood

98.  you never give me your money

99.  and i love her

100.         good night

101.         what you’re doing

102.         yesterday

103.         when i get home

104.         ooh my soul

105.         yellow submarine

106.         please please me

107.         maxwell’s silver hammer

108.         sgt. pepper’s lonely hearts club band

109.         get back

110.         don’t let me down

111.         blackbird

112.         she’s leaving home

113.         glass onion

114.         i’ll get you

115.         from me to you

116.         here there and everywhere

117.         any time at all

118.         i’ve got a feeling

119.         tell me what you see

120.         ask me why

121.         thank you girl

122.         lady madonna

123.         hey bulldog

124.         your mother should know

125.         sexy sadie

this is a nice-sounding song with mean intentions, especially when ‘sadie’ is actually the maharishi! :o (but the ‘la la la la’s are cute)

126.         i should’ve known better

127.         getting better

128.         tell me why

129.         got to get you into my life

130.         love me do

131.         misery

132.         you’re gonna lose that girl

133.         roll over beethoven

134.         fixing a hole

135.         eleanor rigby

136.         dear prudence

137.         fool on the hill

138.         martha my dear

139.         if i fell

140.         long tall sally

141.         chains

142.         magical mystery tour

143.         twist and shout

144.         hey jude

145.         julia

146.         paperback writer

147.         old brown shoe

148.         you’ve got to hide your love away

149.         cry baby cry

150.         michelle

151.         a day in the life

152.         it’s only love

153.         dizzy miss lizzy

154.         you like me too much

155.         if i needed someone

156.         the word

157.         you can’t do that

158.         little child

159.         strawberry fields forever

160.         come together

161.         mr. moonlight

162.         slow down

163.         ob la di ob la da

164.         the continuing story of bungalow bill

165.         baby it’s you

166.         all i got to do

167.         the long and winding road

168.         being for the benefit of mr. kite

169.         honey pie

170.         let it be

171.         taxman

172.         there’s a place

eh

173.         don’t bother me

174.         not a second time

175.         day tripper

176.         lucy in the sky with diamonds

177.         helter skelter

this song is way too metal, but it’s an epic hot topic song and the ending is iconic!

178.         baby you’re a rich man

179.         good morning good morning

180.         piggies

181.         i want you (she’s so heavy)

182.         rocky raccoon

183.         it won’t be long

184.         i wanna be your man

185.         girl

186.         dig a pony

187.         happiness is a warm gun

188.         like dreamers do

189.         a taste of honey

190.         dr. robert

191.         a shot of rhythm and blues

192.         you know my name (look up the number)

193.         no reply

194.         it’s all too much

195.         only a northern song

196.         drive my car

197.         blue jay way

198.         love you to

199.         i am the walrus

200.         revolution 9