#this entire project has been an exercise in I Am Cringe But I Am Free
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hi frankenbesties 🫶 despite not really using tumblr much i thought i would come here to let u all know that i am writing a backstory and character study fic about everyone’s (or at least my) favourite polar explorer, captain robert walton!
i have three chapters up so far and am working on the fourth (edit 2/11: there are now Five Whole Chapters Wow!!!) and it’s been a massive labour of love so if you want to see all my silly little headcanons and a gay adhd loser (affectionate) being put in Situations check it out! 🌊⚓️💌
#frankenstein#mary shelley#robert walton#ach nae i love him#margaret saville#captain robert walton#is it cringe to promote your fic like this well if so oops#this entire project has been an exercise in I Am Cringe But I Am Free#be the blorbo content you want to see in the world etc#frankenstein fanfic#i’ve been terrorising my twitter oomfs with this for far too long it’s tungle’s turn#walton tag
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Should you bowl alone?
A review of Robert Putnam’s work.
Recently a colleague told me about his son's school:
Everyone comes out for everything. The whole town, it doesn't matter if they have kids or not. There might be just one little kid standing on stage whistling and all the parents will come out to watch. The grandparents will come, the neighbors, as if it's Mardi Gras. And you should see Little League games.
According to Robert Putnam's book, Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community (Simon & Schuster), Michael's working class suburb is an anomaly in a nation increasingly governed by the old Groucho Mark joke, "I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member."
"By almost every measure, life in the United States today is the best it has ever been," writes New Republic editor Gregg Easterbrook in the New York Times Magazine. His measurements—risk of war, pollution, life expectancy, material supplies—do not incorporate the factors that, according to Putnam, a Harvard University professor, compose the quality of community life. And, while Easterbrook attributes the studies of growing unhappiness (unipolar depression, mistrust, general malaise) to an American culture of complaint, Putnam argues forcibly and well that the decline in membership in everything from bowling leagues to nonprofits to political parties affects individual and societal sense of well being.
In other words, we don't really care if we make more money and are not at war, if we bowl alone.
Declining participation in all forms of American society
Do you bowl alone? Bowling is the most popular competitive sport in America, more popular than soccer, jogging, softball, and golf. Even though tens of millions of Americans bowl each year (for example, in 1996 90 million people bowled), they don't know either the people in the neighboring lanes or the folks behind the shoe counter (see this issue's interview with Paul Tough and Emily Koehn's poem on classical bowling). In the mid-1960's, 8% of men and 5% of women participated in bowling leagues; now only 2% of Americans bowl in a league.
Have you hosted a dinner party lately? In the past two decades, the number of occasions on which people have friends over for dinner has declined 45% from about 14 times per year to about 8.
Do you stop at stop signs? Putnam looks at factors that describe a general decline in following the rules of society. For example, he describes a stop-sign study conducted at several suburban intersections throughout New York State in which 37% of all motorists in 1979 did not stop; by 1996 the number of drivers who failed to stop had climbed to 97%.
Do you vote? Despite increased education and voting rights over the past three decades, voting in America is down by nearly a quarter, to less than 50% of eligible voters.
Are you an activist? Since the mid 1970s, there has been a steady erosion of activist participation by people under 30; meanwhile the number of senior citizens joining protests has increased. And all Americans are 30% less likely to attend public meetings and 40% less engaged in party politics than we were 25 years ago.
Do you read a newspaper? While Americans over 60 continue to read the newspaper at about the same rate as they did in 1972, Americans between the ages of 30 and 44 have decreased their newspaper reading from 72% to 34%, and reading by 18-29 year-olds is down from 49% to 21%. The number of people following the news in other formats—television news, the Internet—has also declined (Putnam doesn't discuss radio), and interestingly enough, those who rely primarily on the Internet for news are actually less likely than their fellow citizens to be civically involved.
Do you watch a lot of television? A 1995 study showed that television absorbed almost 40% of the average American's free time in 1995, an increase of roughly one-third since 1965.
Putnam uses a variety of sources, including Roper Social and Political Trends and the DDB Needham Life Style, Gallup polls, crime statistics, newspapers, and anecdotal evidence (e.g., the end of hitchhiking, letters between club members) to detail American's social and civic patterns over the past century. His work outlines the growing decline in memberships in formal organizations (political parties, sports leagues, PTA, YMCA, church) and informal communities (local bars, dinner with friends, card games). Most significantly, he provides evidence of the importance of social connections to individual and community wellness.
If we're a nation of lonelyhearts and losers who don't have friends over, don't join teams, and don't vote, according to Putnam, we all lose out. In areas of high social capital, like my friend Michael's neighborhood, and particularly in states like Vermont, Minnesota, and Montana (see Rick Stern's Letter from Missoula if it surprises you that Montana's up there), children are healthier and watch less TV, there's less crime, people are less likely to cheat on their taxes, schools function better, and levels of educational attainment increase. Folks also complain less of their health, make more money, and their kids will make more money. On the other hand, if you're in a region of low social capital, say Nevada or Alabama, you're more likely to say that you'd do better than average in a fistfight.
Putnam writes that "regular club attendance, volunteering, entertaining, or church attendance is the happiness equivalent of getting a college degree or more than doubling your income." And only participating once a month (you don't need to become Reese Witherspoon's ultra-go-getter character in "Election") will make you less likely to likely to state, "I wish I could leave my present life and do something entirely different," and more likely to believe, "I am much happier now than I ever was before." Not only is membership associated with general feelings of happiness, but also there is a strong connection to health. Putnam describes a number of longitudinal studies that suggest this "rough rule of thumb, if you belong to no groups but decide to join one, you cut your risk of dying over the next year in half. If you smoke and belong to no groups, it's a toss-up statistically whether you should stop smoking or start joining. These findings are in some ways heartening: it's easier to join a group than to lose weight, exercise regularly, or quit smoking."
According to a number of surveys cited in the book, my generation has lived up to its slacker name: we don't vote, work on community projects, attend church, or interest ourselves in politics; we're proportionately more depressed and suffer more from insomnia, headaches, and indigestion than older generations; and, unlike our grandparents, most of us don't believe people can be trusted. We are, however, slightly less greedy than the generation "y" coming after us.
The weakest section of Putnam's book is his description of the reasons for the decline in participation, related to our general malaise. This section, composed in a stylistically awkward murder mystery tone in which he lines up possible suspects, lacks the conviction of other chapters. At the end, he produces only "guesstimates" in which he apportions blame without any real data to support his figures. His best "guess" is that pressures of dual-income families are the cause of 10% of the decline; suburbanization, commuting, and sprawl account for another 10%; television is responsible for about 25%; and generational differences explain about 50%. In other words, in apportioning culpability he argues that my generation is largely to blame; but, of course, we didn't invent the televisions, build the highways, or arrange the tiny boxes of suburban sprawl, so it's rather a circular argument.
Putnam also takes on an evangelical tone near the end of the book that may cause some readers to cringe: "Let us find ways to ensure that by 2010 Americans will spend less leisure time sitting passively alone in front of glowing screens and more time in active connection with our fellow citizens." And in another passage he writes, "Let us find ways to ensure that by 2010 significantly more Americans will participate in (not merely consume or 'appreciate') cultural activities from group dancing to songfests to community theater to rap festivals."
Despite some of these problems, Putnam's argument is a strong one. His original essay, "Bowling Alone: America's Declining Social Capital," published a few years back in the somewhat obscure Journal of Democracy, received much attention from the mainstream media. How many professors and their wives make it to the cover of People magazine? And the book, with its generally solid arguments and fascinating data, should become common reading, since it addresses issues fundamental to retaining a civic society (like voting, public education) and to promoting a healthy and wealthy one. And it may serve as a wake-up call: it's not too late to stop bowling alone and to start meeting your neighbors, have dinner parties, and live longer and healthier lives.
Plus, who can resist a book with graphs like the one charting the likelihood of a person giving another driver the finger, based on the number of hours a week the person watches television?
First printed in On the Page magazine. Reprinted with permission.
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Back to School to Become the Ultimate Girl Boss: 10 Lessons I’ve Learned About Being an Entrepreneur
Whoa, hello there friends! It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written a post on here! Thanks for being patient with me while I worked out the logistics of balancing my life. I’m now back at school and although my workload is heavy I do actually have more free time to spend on writing stellar content, so that’s what I’m here to do!
As I said, this year I decided to go back to school for entrepreneurship at one of the colleges in Toronto. I just finished my first week and oh my goodness – what a ride it has been! I literally went to school two days this week because of the holiday Monday (I only have classes Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, hollaaaaa) and I’ve already learned so many amazingly applicable things that I’ll absolutely be implementing for my business, and some things that may not be as applicable to my business but still relevant nonetheless. Here’s the rundown from week one.
1. 5:00am wake up is the worst, but there are some positives to it!
Let’s just get this out there into the world – I am NOT a morning person. I hate waking up early and I’m at my most productive around 10:00pm-2:00am. Pretty sure I get that from my grandma, who’s in her mid-80s and still stays up till 2 every night! The point is, when I realized I had to get up at 5am in order to make the commute from the suburbs into the city for my 8am classes, I was not impressed in the slightest. I’m pretty sure the moment I realized this, I spent about 20 minutes ranting to my boyfriend on the phone about how society is catered to morning people and the world sucks – very dramatic, I know (but is it not a little bit true though?).
When I actually had to do it this week though, I had an incredibly odd experience. I actually enjoyed being out and about before the sun came up! The actual waking up part was a struggle, there’s no fooling anyone there. But there were no cars, no people on sidewalks cutting me off, nothing like that. The train station I go to is also right on Lake Ontario, so I get a pretty nice view of the sunrise while waiting for my train!
Am I a fully transformed morning person? Absolutely not, I slept in till about 10:30 this morning and have no shame about it. However, do I think waking up early is much more doable than I originally had anticipated? When you’re excited about what you’re doing and want to get up and work and learn, absolutely!
2. Network, network, network – and do it properly!
Ahh, networking. The dreaded word that our introverted sides absolutely cringe at. Girlfriend, if that’s you, just know I’m totally with you on that one. I love networking with other bloggers and such online, but when it comes to face-to-face actually talking to someone, I freeze. I’ve never been to a networking event for this reason, but all of that is about to change… that’s right, one of my assignments is actually to attend a networking event! First of all, terrifying, right? But second of all, how incredibly applicable that is! As someone who is generally quite shy, I need something like this to push me out of my comfort zone. You can’t get better at something without practice, so although I’m freaking out about it, I’m also so glad I can do it in the safety of being in school.
Something I learned about networking events this week is that a lot of people have the wrong idea for how to go about it. Many people think that if they leave at the end of the night and have run out of business cards they were successful at the event. As my HR prof pointed out though this week, this isn’t necessarily the case. If you leave without collecting any business cards from anyone else, how are you supposed to contact them? If they have your contact info and you don’t have theirs, who has the upper hand? That means the ball is in their court to contact you, which may or may not happen.
3. Know exactly what’s happening in your business’ Supply Chain Process
In my entrepreneurship program, I have to take a course called “supply chain management”. Do you think I knew what that was? Absolutely not! I thought it had to do with places like staples that supply items for other businesses, which yes it is, but it’s so much more than that. Essentially, it’s about the process of creating your product or service and all of the little steps involved. And when I say little, I mean EVERY LITTLE STEP. You used a piece of tape to package a box for shipment? That’s part of the supply chain. You need a specific type of paper to create your journals? Again, that’s another part of it.
The reason it’s important as a business owner to know everything about your supply chain process is so you can know exactly what amount of money is going into a product from beginning to end. This is relevant, of course, in figuring out how to make a profit while still keeping things at a reasonable price. I can’t go into super specific details, as it’s only the first week, but I do know that it’s important to have control of the finances in your business, which is why supply chain management is so important.
4. A Handshake is more than just a handshake
In one of my classes this week, we did one of those icebreaker introduce yourself exercises. Sounds pretty generic, right? It was, except our prof insisted that she needed to shake each of our hands in the process. Some people were pretty weirded out by it, while others like myself hardly noticed. Afterwards, however, she pointed out in a general sense that most of us had strong handshakes while others needed a lot of work. This was strange, as your handshake isn’t really something you tend to think much about in everyday life, but isn’t it so true that a handshake can tell a lot about a person during that small first impression window of meeting someone?
When shaking hands with someone, here are a couple of tips I learned during this exercise. A firm grip is preferable over one of those handshakes where someone holds out two fingers (isn’t that so awkward?! Omg I’ve had that happen to me a few too many times). Eye contact, squaring your shoulders with the person, and smiling are amongst other qualities of a good handshake that were mentioned.
5. It is absolutely possible to make friends as an adult
You guys! After the past year of having pretty much no one around except my boyfriend, I finally am developing somewhat of a girl group at school! Maybe I’m fangirling a bit too much about this, but it’s so exciting to me to have a group of girls to eat lunch with and do group projects with – we even have a WhatsApp group chat! And yes, I am in college again, so I suppose it’s again one of those places that make it a bit easier to make friends, but it happened so organically that I’m not even sure college had a lot to do with it.
We’re all entrepreneurs and we’re in the same class. But perhaps if we had met at a networking event or something like that we would have hit it off there too. The point is that I’m 23 years old and I’m starting to develop new friendships, so it is absolutely doable. That’s a crazy exciting epiphany for me!
6. You need to be comfortable with criticism if you’re going to be successful as an entrepreneur
Criticism has always been like my arch nemesis, both giving and receiving. I have a very difficult time not taking things personally and I hate saying things to others that they might take personally. It’s a double edged sword. That being said, I’m fully aware of the importance of being able to handle giving and receiving criticism as an entrepreneur. There will be a day when I have to manage other employees. There will be a time even sooner when I’m pitching my business ideas to investors, who will absolutely tell me exactly what they think, what they like, and what they don’t like.
These concepts are terrifying. Luckily, I’m currently in college where my professors encourage us to practice in a safe space. We’re required to work in a group not of our choosing and give in-person peer evaluations to each person in the group on a weekly basis. I was extremely uncomfortable with this activity at first, probably because I grew up in this millennial generation where teachers always sugar-coated things for us growing up (for instance, whenever I’ve had to do a peer-evaluation it was always written anonymously). But that’s not how the real world works. There’s an entire generation of us who aren’t prepared to handle criticism, which is why I think activities like this are so important and relevant, especially within an entrepreneurial lifestyle.
7. Entrepreneurial traits for the most part can be learned
There’s a lot of debate going around about whether the common traits of successful entrepreneurs can be learned or not. The verdict by professionals in the industry, however, is that for the most part these traits can be learned. This was interesting as I was among those who believe you either have what it takes or you don’t. Among some of the top traits successful entrepreneurs tend to possess are a tolerance for ambiguity, a drive to achieve success, persistence and perseverance, personable, and an ability to be a critical thinker.
8. We weren’t given strict deadlines in school for no reason
Have you ever actually thought about what deadlines mean in the real world? Maybe this is just me, but I never made the connection between our teachers giving us strict deadlines growing up and what that would teach us for when we step out into the workforce. I honestly thought they were just being hard-asses!
One of my profs used an example to explain this that really got me thinking. If a bakery owner takes an order for a cake to be ready for Saturday at 2pm for a little boy’s birthday party, and then at 1:30 calls the mom who ordered the cake to tell her that she won’t have it ready in time, what are the implications? It’s more than just a failing grade on a test. It’s a little boy’s dream of having a Pikachu cake for his 5th birthday crushed! Now the mother has to run around last minute to find a grocery store cake which her kid may or may not like (you know how kids are lol).
Okay, so maybe it’s not the end of the world. But those are real life implications impacting real people because that one person didn’t meet their deadline. It causes a lot of stress for everyone involved. In order for the world to function properly, we need to have discipline and we need to have deadlines. No matter how large or small the issue, we as entrepreneurs must make sure we’re setting and meeting deadlines. Otherwise our businesses aren’t going to succeed in the ways that we probably want them to.
9. We’re not always going to like the people we work with and they’re not always going to like us
Going back to the group I was assigned (which I don’t think has happened since I was like 14). There’s a reason my prof assigned us groups to work with instead of allowing us to choose our groups. As an entrepreneur, it’s likely that we’ll have the opportunity to work with a wide variety of individuals, some of whom we may like and others of whom we won’t so much. We need to learn to work with anyone, regardless of whether we want to be their best friend or not.
10. I’m finally excited about the path that I’m on!
This one is more personal, but it feels so great to finally be on the right path! I’m actually excited to wake up early in the morning and get to work on building my business. That’s something I haven’t been able to say, like, ever. It’s been a long road, but I feel like I’ve finally found my passion, and it’s an amazing feeling!
If you had told me a year ago that I would be this happy in a year, I would have laughed and then cried because that’s how shit things were at this time last year (pretty sure I had just gotten back from PEI after having a meltdown and loosing my housing so it wasn’t a good time to say the least). Every decision I’ve made up to this point has led me down this path, and I don’t have any regrets about either the good times or the hardships. They’ve made me who I am today, and I’m proud to be that person.
The takeaway…
Overall, my first week at school was a successful one. I’m incredibly glad to have chosen an entrepreneurship college certificate. This is exactly what I need to get my business off the ground and learn important skills along the way.
What is your number one tip for entrepreneurs who are just starting out? Let’s get a conversation started in the comments to support each other through this process. I’d love to hear your thoughts! Also, have you heard about our brand new membership? The Society is for the woman who is driven, ambitious and wants to find success in all areas of life. If this sounds like you, then you need to head over there to check it out! We’re looking forward to having you join our fabulous community.
The post Back to School to Become the Ultimate Girl Boss: 10 Lessons I’ve Learned About Being an Entrepreneur appeared first on Sweet Success Society.
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