#this drawing genuinely came to me in a dream i cant change how it looks sorry

[woolying]

chat how do we feel about j x julia... jjulia.....jcest.....

probably neither of them would fold this easily (considering julia being literally everything j hates/she would make sure julia knows that + julia probably still being just as stubborn and combative and hating j back for not worshiping the ground she walks on) but who cares!!! love wins <3

regardless i think j is weak to pretty girls and that includes herself ig 🫡🔥🔥🙏🙏💯💯👍

[wtfgaylittlezooid]

I’ve lost to temptation so here it is

My interpretation of magolor lets fucking go

So first section: How this bitch works

So Magolor is from Halcandria, a planet who’s core is essentially magic. There’s so much magic on this single planet that it leaked into the life and even some objects that could contain it. Magolor is no exception. Magic energy is essentially stored in a second heart (tho it’s more of a container than a heart), and runs through the body very similar to blood. It’s created and flows through his body, and allows for things like his eye glow, floating, and obviously powers. When he’s asleep, it regenerates. If there’s already enough magic energy while he’s asleep, it disposes of the old magic mostly by floating in sleep or by more severe means like insomnia aka magical overdose (which I’ve gone over before).

Next, is the glowing eyes!! Why he have that, I’ll tell ya. It makes it easier to detect other halcandrians as well as make it easier to detect light such as fire. Which is very useful when you need to look through ashy clouds and make sure a giant rock isn’t about to slam into you from above. It’s also a way to show the health of a halcandrian. Though the eyes glow yellow, they have a brown color very similar to their fur. If they’re sick or very unhealthy, they lose their glow and it slowly reverts to the brown color.

As a side effect of the master crown though, Magolor’s magic energy got boosted by the crown so he didn’t just die instantly by overwhelming power. It sounds like a good thing on paper, having so much energy to the point where he can fight non stop without getting tired magically, but magic overdose due to him not being able to deplete enough of it fast enough is a bitch. He gets sick a lot easier, bad insomnia, as well as occasionally using magic without realizing. So this clears out how he works and shit!! Now onto...

Before RTDL

So before RTDL Magolor had little social skills or experience with interacting with other people that wasnt lying to them to get them to do stuff. It was just how Halcandria worked. People kept to themselves and if you needed help you’d have to twist the truth in order to convince them. Relationships of any kind are very rare in Halcandria as well.

So when he met Marx, it was weird. He originally planned to let him stay until he got better and told him about why he was found in a Nova’s wreckage, so he could hopefully get Marx to lead him to something else he could use to defeat Landia. It didn’t go as planned. Marx was an unpredictable dude who immeadiatly fell for Magolor (but mags didn’t notice cause he’s never experienced someone else crushing or a crush) and due to that Marx spent a lot of time with Magolor during recovery and grew on him. He also ended up showing Magolor what friendship was, and honestly: magolor liked it. He liked having someone around. It was a nice change, and it was nice to have someone around to help (and rarely give him affection). So, Magolor wanted Marx to rule the universe with him once he killed Landia. He didn’t want Marx to leave. Though things started going downhill when an accident happened one time while exploring and Magolor was distracted, leaving to Marx having to use Nova’s power to make sure Magolor was safe.

And Magolor was fascinated, and god he was excited. He pried Marx for questions about his wings, constantly stared at them when they were out, and started talking about if he and Marx used their combined powers they could finally kill Landia and get what they want. But Marx didn’t want to. His want for power by then left, and he knew the consequences. He was happy just hanging out with Mags, and didn’t want to risk his life fighting a dragon with a crown of infinite power. But Magolor, despite liking the change of company, was used to being a loner and believed he could do it again since he’s halcandrian. He said Marx could leave if he didn’t want to, and that was when Marx started to see just how desperate Magolor was for the Master Crown. It was all too similar to his own desperation with Nova, and all words were useless and failed to change Magolor’s mind. So Marx left, and Magolor continued. He felt a little bad (and lonely) but pushed it down and decided no turning back and opted to modifying the Starcutter more like a weapon and attacking Landia that way, but failing.

Though he had a backup plan, thanks to Marx. Which brings me to..

The Betrayal

So this is RTDL time, before the betrayal. His back up plan was going to the pink hero Marx ranted about and using them to get the crown. After all, if they could defeat someone with the gift of Nova’s power, they could defeat a wyvern with a crown. They landed, and Magolor met everyone, but he couldn’t stop thinking about a certain someone. Chilly, who volunteered to stay with him while the others collected the spheres and parts (tho it was because he was suspicious). Mags didn’t know this, and assumed he was being nice. So the second person who (he thought) was being friendly with him enough to stay with him, and fill that hole Marx accdientally left by leaving him. He couldn’t not get attatched. He became REALLY REALLY clingy, and did as much as he could to keep himself focused as well as make sure they were friends. It backfired, making Chilly agitated most of the time, but it also semi worked later on. Most of his time between the betrayal and his crash landing was spent monitoring everyone’s progress, and trying to get Chilly to like him so he could do what he had to do during the betrayal.

Now during the betrayal! The closer he got to achieving the crown again, the more desperate and ooc he got. By the time he was at Halcandria, there’d be no way to talk him out of it, since he was THIS close. But there was still one thing wrong that he assumed the crown would fix: he couldn’t go back to being alone. He assumed he would adjust, since that’s how it’s been for his whole life. But now, that he’s actually had two people really close to him (and one leave) that showed him affection and didn’t only use him like in Halcandria, he didn’t want to go back to being alone. He couldn’t. But he came too far to turn back, and continued anyway (not like he ever changed his mind, but he did have moments of doubt). He told Chilly to stay in the Starcutter, wanting to keep him safe, which obviously didn’t go well for him when Chilly responded with freezing the ship from the inside to stop Magolor from using it in its attacks.

And of course, when Magolor sees this, he has a moment of “oh shit I can’t let him do this. I can’t lose someone else.” And tries to convince Chilly to join him. He talks about the two of them ruling and even giving Chilly Popstar to rule. He means it. He wants someone with him, somebody that he genuinely loves and treats him like a friend. He assumed that if he didn’t force Chilly into working with him like Marx, he would join in the end. And like any person with common sense, Chilly denies, loyal to Kirby and Popstar. THIS was the moment Magolor became truly desperate, he tries to convince Chilly to join him but he can barely get any words other than “but you were only friend” out while crying (in the middle of battle lol). Kirby and everyone take this chance to attack, while Magolor is just kind of broken. He fucked up again.

And he’ll be alone.

He has one thing left now, and that’s the power to rule the universe.

And he’s desperate to have this one thing go right for him, and he uses the remaining power of the Master Crown... which brings me to the next topic!

The Master Crown

Full section for the master crown let’s go. It gets its dark power from a leader/creator of dark matter (think 0), and is sentient. It only knows to shroud the world in darkness, and will do whatever it takes to get it. It’s powers are held at bay by Landia, who is Halcandria’s guardian and can resist its powers due to being a magic guardian. Magolor however, isn’t a magic guardian, and can’t resist. To him, it’s a shiny piece of jewelry that’ll make him strong so things can finally go his way.

The way it works is by drawing people in, like a venus fly trap. It just amplify people’s interest in it, as well as bring out the more negative traits about them that makes them easier to control. The most common traits is desperation, impulsiveness, frustration, and determination. And once the crown is on their head, it locks on and is irremovable and works like a parasite, basically completely erasing whoever put it on and molding them to the perfect puppet. Magolor essentially just sped up the process completely by using the last of its power in a desperate attempt to get what he wanted.

After the Betrayal

Magolor, after the betrayal, is left just floating around Another Dimension. He’s exhausted, in a lot of pain, and completely magically drained. He couldn’t even float if he tried, and that uses the bare minimum of magic. He’s stuck here for a long time, and at first, he’s extremely frustrated and upset. He spends a lot of time replaying the events in his head (not magolor soul, he has no memories of that aside from snippets that come into his dreams that are partially due to the master crown’s lasting effect) and just getting more and more angry at everything. He was so close to having control over EVERYTHING, and he lost it over himself the second he used the rest of the power. He was infuriated that he manged to let that stupid puffball beat him, along with their friends.

He cries, screams, shouts, but it doesn’t matter. Rage can only last so long, and it’s not much before he’s just exhausted and tired. He’s given up on escaping, knowing he can’t. He cant form a dimensional portal strong enough to pull him out of a dimension. He only has the skill to use it for teleportation. After a few days, he’s accepted what happened, that this is his fate. He hates being alone, floating in space with no silly jester to crack a joke or scratch his head, and no snowman who’s bell jingled with an adorable tune whenever he laughed and even gave him hugs. He ends up getting habits of scratching his head (despite the pain because of master crown injuries) and hugging himself as a way to fill that hole the two left when leaving. He misses them, and starts to regret going after the crown in the first place. He comes up with scenarios in his head to pass the time as he basically waits for himself to rot. He imagines apologizing and having his friends back. He imagines Marx somehow finding him similar to how Magolor found him. He imagines not being alone, and being happy. Not plagued by agonizing exhaustion and self fury. He even comes to miss Kirby and their friend one he actually realizes the kindness they showed him, since he was too focused before to realize.

He spends a few days in the hell dimension before he finds something. He ends up finding an energy sphere that floats past that was lost during the battle. He grabs and clings to it, now having only one thing from before. It doesn’t make the loneliness any better, but it does make things a little less bareable. But of course, energy spheres are a sphere doomer’s favorite snack, and it doesn’t take long before one comes along really wanting it.

Magolor at first, pushes it away desperate to keep this one thing he had before, and the sphere doomer keeps coming back desperately wanting its food. Eventually, Magolor and the sphere doomer form a slight bond since this was when Magolor started slowly regaining magic again and tries attacking it with his revolution orbs, but it’s just a treat for the sphere doomer. The sphere doomer keeps coming back for more treats and another attempt at a snack, and Magolor feels a little less lonely. Over time, he actually gains enough of its trust to pet it and even talks to it. He names her Lor II.

Lor II is the reason he gets out of Another Dimension and back to Halcandria, via opening a rift. Lor II basically gives Magolor a second chance to make things right, and he immeadiatly takes it. Of course, he has to steal the Starcutter to do it, but he makes his way to Popstar to apologize, because he REALLY regrets his major fuck up and at the very least, he can make things better (and maybe get a chance at being less lonely).

So that’s all I got lmao hope you enjoyed

[ala-mhinyan]

Grief ( Part 3 )

A shudder runs along his frame, drawing in a slow and even breath. Just one last time. All of this for one last time.

That makes C’tolemy turn back to face her, arms folded over his chest and a deep set frown creasing his features. <”Do not offer what you cannot give.”>

Hooked.

The older woman tweaks the corner of her lips into a smile, shaking her head. <”It is no hard task for one who ferries along the River, yes? That is the power of a Dead Witch.”> An offer she knows that the one before he would sooner snap his head from his shoulders than refuse. It would land her in a position of control over him to have him owe a favor and, with enough finesse, she could saddle herself with re-training her daughter all over again.

The right way, this time.

C’tolemy stands in silence for a long, long while—warring with himself on whether or not this was a smart decision to make or the stupidest thing he’s ever done in life. If Ayanga and Dunrai ever found out that he’d done something like this, let alone met with C’sah? He’d never hear the end of it—especially knowing that he’d conjured the meeting himself and gone without telling him what was happening behind his back.

But he had to. Just one last time.

Just one.

It would be over, he would be free and this shadow would finally stop chasing him.

<”Be quick about it.”>

C’sah’s smile widens into a gleam of razor sharp fangs of malice and welcoming dread, dropping down in a motion of pure grace to kneel. She pulls a dagger from her belt and spills blood from the palm of her hand, letting it splash down onto the sunburned stone beneath the both of them. The dagger is shoved into the center of that blood splatter, using the tips of her claws to draw runes and sigils surrounding the splatter with her own blood. Satisfied with the circle, she closes her eyes and begins to chant.

Aether pools below their feet, drawn inward from the environment—over the runes and bloody sigils, scrawling over stone and rock until a wide dome of spider-webbed aether was formed around them. The power burst, the world flipped and they both found themselves in a black space—devoid of sunlight and so very, very cold. Where the Land Between Worlds was warm, the fresh scent of rain and the sounds of rainforest surrounded them? Here? There was nothing but cold, quiet and a distinct sense of loneliness.

C’tolemy didn’t budge from his spot, golden eyes focused on C’sah as she worked her ritual. He was trapped from within regardless and no fail-safe to protect him in case she tried something—he had to be careful.

She smiled up at him, reaching out with her bloody hand—over the blade—and made a plucking motion, as if picking something invisible out of the air and setting it down. From that spot, a spark of red aether blooms and bursts until it’s the shape of a man too familiar to have ever been forgotten and too haunting to ever mistake. The specter of red aether shifts a couple of times before he turns his head and peers, unbelieving, at C’tolemy’s startled expression.

<”Dasa?”>

Oh, his voice. Heavenly, a stake through his heart.

C’tolemy snaps his gaze to C’sah and hisses low at her, <”This better be no ploy or so help me—”>

<”It is no ploy.”>

That voice gets C’ajnee spinning, just as shocked to see C’tolemy as he is to see C’sah—kneeling behind him and bleeding. <”Mistress…”> The words are reverental, another stake through C’tolemy’s heart to hear a single word from his awful, ugly mouth that sounds so soft. So wanting. So loving.

Nothing he would ever hear toward himself.

<”C’aziza bid me to summon you from the River, C’ajnee. Your time is limited. I would say what you have to say now while you have the chance.”>

That shakes C’tolemy loose at the core, tilting his chin upward to peer at C’ajnee while the man nods and turns back to stare into his eyes. It is silent.

<”Why did you call me from the River, Dasa? Were you not the one that brought the dark scales with you to murder me?”>

Another stake, the pain from that accusation so sharp that he staggers on his feet and nearly falls before the very man he’s been made to kneel before so many times in the past. A steadying breath, shaking his head.

<”I had—Kushal, please. I had no choice. I couldn’t let you do this, do what you did to me, to anyone else.”>

<”Didn’t I train you better? Is your loyalty nothing? Does your word, your blood before your very Master, mean nothing?”>

<”Kushal—I…”>

There is no answer he can give.

Kushal was right; he’d taken with him the man’s very death, to protect children so they would never suffer the same crime, the same pain, the same torture that he did. It was for a noble cause, a humane thing to do to save those children and bring an end to the reign that Kushal had held over the heads of so many others that hadn’t deserved to go through what they went through—but none of this changed the inevitable of the situation.

He had betrayed his first Master. He had failed an order. He had failed.

C’ajnee glowered at the large man in front of him, causing Tolemy to cower slightly under that stare, gaze cast aside to the floor. He couldn’t say anything and all that seemed to do is anger the spectral Seeker, mumbling someone about how all his time had been wasted and how Dasa had ended up being a good-for-nothing. Another stake in his heart, this time chased with a faint whimper.

Ghosts of words said from Ayanga’s very mouth make it impossible for him to stay quiet forever, everything coming rushing from his mouth before he can stop it.

<”Did you mean what you said? When you…”>

<”Spit it out, Dasa.”>

His mouth had run dry and all he could feel was his entire being hinging on this final moment; this final truth that would either condemn him or set him free. <”Did you mean it when you said that I was unloved by all, save you?”

The red specter seemed to jolt at those words, turning his head away and then back again after seemingly settling something with himself. He opens his mouth to speak—

<”C’ajnee.”>

<”Mistress?”>

<”Your life is already forfeit. There is little pride to hold onto in death.”>

A sharp laugh comes from the specter and he shakes his head, bringing a hand up to rub across his face with a sigh. There was no point in hiding from the one that had summoned him—no point in pretending when he had nothing left to lose, even pride. He was dead. This was a temporary, last reprieve.

A pause.

<”Yes, Dasa. I meant it.”>

A shaking breath, the Seeker across the space from him nearly shattering on the spot.

<”But… But—It’s only because I look like her. Because I’m her child. Because you wanted her instead!”>

Another laugh, C’ajnee simply shaking his head once more and glancing over his shoulder at the concentrating C’sah. <”Your mother never wanted me, Dasa. She was devoted to her duty and I was never going to be the one that came between her and that. I wanted to lift her up, not tear her down.”> Another sigh, looking forward again to peer at C’tolemy. <”At first, genuinely, you were a replacement for C’sah. I wanted to see her likeness in you and build you up to be the perfect copy of her—so I could have the woman of my dreams at last. But you were not C’sah. And I was so angry that you weren’t C’sah that I took out years of rage and desire that I couldn’t sate… onto you. You were willing. You were the perfect outlet.”>

C’tolemy’s mouth simply hangs agape, the truth of these words hitting somewhere inside that he doesn’t know how to cope with. All he can think to do is dumbly murmur out a, <”So what changed?”>

It was C’ajnee’s turn to smile, giving a fairly lame shrug. <”You would smile on our walks at night through the Lochs and I couldn’t help but be gripped with wondering if you’d always smiled at me like I was your universe. The blushes. The smiles. How you’d strain so hard, even in tasks I knew you despised, only if it meant pleasing me. It doesn’t take long for someone to become enamored with such devotion.”>

A bewildered stare and another murmur.

<”Then... Then why?”> The ache in the center of his chest was at a bursting point, threatening to overwhelm every little bit of him that just barely remained. These words would be his undoing. <”Why did you hurt me? Constantly? Why did you beat me within an inch of my life if I would so far as try to reach for you if you thought this of me? Why—Why would you hurt the thing you adore?! Why would you treat me like trash and then tell me you did it because you love me?!”>

C’ajnee grimaced, canting his head to the side. <”I didn’t know how to approach my feelings. Every time you would tell me you loved me I would feel something welling up inside that I wasn’t going to be able to control. If… If I had—If I had acted on it… Gods above know what I would have done to you.”>

The leash on C’tolemy’s control snaps. He can feel the recoil of control being broken in-half. He can feel himself break and all of it come pouring from him before he can stop it. Rage scores through the entirety of C’tolemy’s being; from the tips of his fingers to the ends of his toes and it comes out in a roar of a retort, furious in what he’d learned. 

<”You COWARD!”>

C’ajnee recoils, refusing to look at the man in-front of him.

<”You are nothing but a spineless, dickless coward! I cannot believe you put me through all of what you did because you didn’t know how to deal with your goddamn emotions! Because you were afraid of what you’d do to me!”>

C’ajnee puffs out his chest, narrowing his eyes in the direction of the shouting.

<”You should be grateful I—”>

<”It was not a mercy that you didn’t show your love! You don’t GET to tell me that I should be grateful that you tied me to a post and let men fuck me senseless in the rain, let them do whatever came into their fucked up little heads! That I should be grateful you tossed me off ledges and left my broken body in valleys, only to starve me when I didn’t climb back up! That I should be grateful for every single night I spent in waking terror of what you’d do to me the next time I made a mistake!”>

<”I could have been so much more cruel to you, Dasa! It was MERCY that I spared you my love or you might not even be alive right now!”>

<”I HAVEN’T BEEN LIVING SINCE YOU TOOK ME IN!”>

That scream ends on a pitiful sob, C’tolemy’s bottom lip quivering in the aftermath of his emotional wave. <”I have spent every day, every hour, every minute chasing something I was never going to get because of you! I have been a slave to emotions that have gripped me from the inside for YEARS because you treated me like I wasn’t even a person! I have been living as a pathetic, scared dog running alleyway to alleyway looking for it’s Master that doesn’t even care it’s missing! Surya be damned, do you know what I’ve done to my HUSBANDS BECAUSE OF YOU?! AND THIS IS WHAT YOU TELL ME?!”>

<”Dasa—”>

<”You don’t get to call me that anymore.”>

<”Dasa, I just—”>

<”YOU DON’T GET TO CALL ME THAT ANYMORE! I’m not your slave. I’m not your pet. I’m not your property. I’m not your dog. I’m not ANYTHING that belongs to you! Not anymore!”>

C’ajnee takes a step forward and he’s met with a fierce, furious roar from deep within C’tolemy’s chest—the fear that used to grip this man long since melted away by the kind hearts of the men who love him and his own growing sense of self-worth. C’ajnee flinches backward, ears pressed down and his expression a mix of frustration and desperation.

<”Dasa… I did all of this because I love you. Please—please believe that.”>

C’tolemy sneers bitterly, tail lashing wildly at the darkness behind him. <”You don’t have the right to love me.”> And with those words, he reaches for his belt and lobs a throwing dagger directly at the summoning circle—channeling aether through the blade to burst upon contact with the blood soaked stone. Sparks ignite and the stone cracks, shattering the summoning circle before C’ajnee can be properly sent back into the River where he belongs. Where the wretched man will linger now? It’s anyone’s guess.

C’sah had managed to protect her face right as the aether explosion went off, bearing mild burns and scrapes once the dust had settled and the aether dome around them had dissipated. She grunted, working old bones to stand and brush at her arms.

<”Are you satisfied, C’tolemy?”>

He snarls hotly at the woman—where she matches him back with her own set of snarling and snapping. The encounter abruptly ends when he huffs out a breath and turns to leave.

<”I never should have come here.”>

The older woman can only chuckle, waving a hand to his retreating back and calls out cheerfully.

<”Arms of Meed. 7 suns. Twilight. I await your answer — You owe me that at the very least.”>

She is given naught but a grunt and the sound of scrabbling stone as C’tolemy vaults over the space and onto the cliff hiding the Arms of Meed from sight. One last glance over his shoulder and he disappears off the lip, needing to do something—anything to bleed off this aggression.

C’sah merely stands where she is and smiles. Anything for just one last time.

[ Part 1 ] - [ Part 2 ]

[littlewhitetie]

New Year’s Wrap Up!

Thanks for the tag, @bosstoaster!!

Fics this year:

Elementary (Allura & Lance & Keith) (3,734 words)

A poison in the building they're captured in leaves Keith delirious and vulnerable, with only Allura there to take care of him. Unused to comforting others, Allura is completely out of her element. Luckily, she has Lance on the other end of the line to walk her through it.

Perennial (Shiro/Keith) (23,371 words)

Keith and Shiro find each other in every life. (A series of connected AUs) 1. Shiro will do whatever it takes to promote peace between his nation and Keith's. Even if that means staying quiet about the way the prince makes his heart ignite with the power of a thousand suns. 2. Shiro doesn’t have a soulmate anymore, but he finds the next best thing in a boy in his astrobiology course. 3. Selkies are never safe, not when Hunters are near. Keith breaks Shiro out of the laboratory facility he was taken to, but Keith is captured in the process. Shiro needs to go back for Keith, but he can’t when his ability to take his human form has been stolen away. 4. Keith takes care of Shiro after he escapes from a Fire Nation prison, his arm irreparably burned. Hoping to take down the Fire Lord, they search for a new way for Shiro to bend the elements, confronting Shiro's fear of fire along the way. 5. A Galra rebel breaks Shiro out of prison, asking for his help in shutting down a weapon that threatens the lives of the entire planet Princess Allura rests on. Shiro's Altean heritage will allow him to destroy the crystal that powers it, but not without a cost.

Pulmonary (Shiro/Keith/Allura) (7,425 words)

Infected with a disease that feeds off of heartache, flowers bloom in Shiro’s lungs, choking him with petals. He keeps the petals he coughs up a secret, but it’s getting hard to hide. The only thing that can stop its trajectory is if the person he’s in love with returns his feelings.

Shiro doesn’t even know who it is he’s sick for—Keith is Shiro’s anchor, his sun; but Allura is his compass and stars. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Neither of them could ever be his. They’ve each made their feelings for him—or lack thereof—known.

Not to mention the fate of the known universe is contingent on their upcoming marriage.

The coughing attacks get worse, but he can’t let them find out why. All he can do is try to push down his longing and watch as, little by little, Keith and Allura fall in love.

Dissonance (Shiro & Keith & Hunk & Pidge & Lance & Allura) (4,557 words)

Shiro can’t remember anything from before he was kidnapped by the Galra Empire seven years ago, but his life since then has been stable. Everything goes the way it’s supposed to, in accordance with the prophecy foretold by the Score; it’s so routine, it’s almost boring.

That all changes when, hell-bent on a mission, a stranger named Keith breaks into his home, and an unexpected reaction between their quintessences transports them halfway across the world. Shiro finds himself deep in the heart of enemy territory with nothing but a bad headache, his weaponized prosthesis, and a churlish yet protective soldier for company.

Keith vows to get him home safe and sound, but returning Shiro to his old life is easier said than done. They're going to need some help along the way.

Collect Call (Lance & Keith) (2,479 words)

The boy on the screen is wearing his old black t-shirt instead of his Marmora uniform; his bad hair is even messier than usual. “Did you need something?”

Yes, but for once, Lance's words have left him. What’s he supposed to say? Hey Keith, I want you to come home because I feel like something might be wrong with Shiro, but I can’t even figure out what the problem is—if there’s even a problem to begin with. Hey Keith, I want you to come home because I’m not you, and Shiro won’t talk to me again, no matter how hard I try. Hey Keith, I want you to come home because I miss you, and I don’t want to deal with this alone.

Nope, not happening. "I—I can call back later.”

No Matter (Keith &/Shiro, Keith & Lance) (7,104 words)

“You shouldn’t have to put up with this.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” Shiro draws in a stuttering breath. “I’ve hurt you, over and over. And I don’t—I don’t know how to stop.”

--

Keith returns to the Castle to help figure out what’s wrong with Shiro. He’s here for him unconditionally, even when it hurts. He’ll get the information they need to find a solution; knowledge or death.

No Rest for the Blessed (2,307 words)

A series of ficlets based on whump prompts.

1. The paladins build a blanket nest for Keith, but he's afraid to fall asleep. (Keith/Shiro) 2. Shiro has a fever. Allura's stuck on nurse duty. (Shiro/Allura)

Linger (Keith &/Shiro) (3,037 words)

“You should go back to bed,” Keith says. “Get some more sleep.”

Shiro’s tired, but no. He can’t go back to his room, not yet. He’s not ready to be alone again.

--

Not wanting to leave Keith's side, Shiro looks for excuses to linger.

Silence (Allura & Lance & Keith & Shiro, Allura &/Lance, Keith &/Shiro) (9,691 words)

An anti-Galra nanoweapon leaves Keith ill and Shiro badly injured. It's up to Lance and Allura to find them, take care of them, and get them home safe and sound.

As Many Times (Keith/Shiro) (1,439 words)

Shiro has fever dreams; Keith does what he can to help.

Just Enough (3,949 words) 

Ficlets and prompt fills.

1. “Hello, Lance,” Allura says, quietly. She cants her head and lifts her lips a fraction: it’s okay; come closer. (Lance &/Allura)

2. It’s easier to pretend the clone wasn’t a he, but an it. Lance doesn't miss him. He doesn't. He can't. (Lance &/Shiro)

3. Allura turns her body to face Keith; he shifts his weight. The hug they share is a shy little thing, tentative and careful, but genuine. (Keith & Allura & Lance)

4. “One of these days,” Shiro says to Keith, voice slurring on the brink of fever dreams to come, “I’m going to tell you.” (Shiro/Keith)

5. Shiro doesn’t know how to lead into it—nothing he could think of of ever felt right—so he just takes the plunge. “I’m in love with you." (Shiro/Keith)

6. The Kerberos mission is successful. Keith is there for Shiro when he returns. (Shiro/Keith)

Sensibility (Shiro/Keith) (1,659 words)

Shiro visits Keith in the hospital and talks about his feelings. It's okay, he thinks, if Keith's not awake to hear it.

The Only Thing Sweeter (Allura/Keith/Shiro) (1,498 words)

“I think I’m in love,” she croons. The look he gives her is as soft and warm as the melted chocolate on her tongue.

--

Keith shows Allura how to make chocolate chip pancakes as they bring Shiro breakfast in bed.

Make Believe (Keith/Shiro) (15,125 words)

This was a terrible idea. An excruciating, tantalizing car crash of an idea. Keith should never have agreed to this. It was everything he’d ever wanted and more. He was never going to be able to come back from this.Careful metal fingertips traced his jaw, tipping his face up to meet gentle, storm grey eyes. He was close, so close. “Everything okay?” Shiro asked, quietly.“Of course,” Keith said. "Everything is fine.”It was a bald-faced lie; everything was not fine. It was wonderful and devastating and nowhere in between.

--

In which, in order to form an alliance, Keith and Shiro need to fake a relationship and endure a series of related trials.

Total Fics: 14. 15 if you count The Price of Peace, which was part of a reverse bang--the words are @sonderquill​‘s, but I came up with the concept and helped out with the plot. :)

Total Words:  108,022

Ship/character breakdown: Ship breakdown:

A lot of my fics can be interpreted as either platonic or romantic, so depending on your interpretation:

Sheith: 8-12 fics + ficlets Shallureith: 2 Shallura: 1 Allurance: 0-3 Shance: 0-1

Character breakdown:

Keith: 19 Shiro: 17 Allura: 9 Lance: 9 Hunk: 2 Pidge: 2

Not much Hunk or Pidge in there, but I do love them. Maybe I’ll have to write that companion fic to Finding Home sitting in my WIPs that focuses on the Garrison trio.

Characters that had the main focus:

Shiro and Keith, no surprise there. I had fun with Allura and Lance this year too! 

Specifics:

Best/worst title? Best title:  Make Believe. It’s a double entendre and I’m damn proud of it.  Worst title: Linger. I literally just picked a word from the prompt. :/

Best/worst first line?

Best: maybe Elementary?

Something is wrong.

It’s not anything special, but it sets the story up the way I want it to.

Worst: Silence

“Lance? Will you tell me a story?”

Enh.

Best/worst last line?

Best: I’d say either Linger or Sensibility.

Linger:

With a soft sigh, Shiro lets his heavy eyelids fall closed. He’s calmed by the sound of fingers tapping against keys, interrupted occasionally by a gentle touch. A press to his wrist, a stroke of his cheek, a brush of fingers through his hair. He falls asleep to sweet, subtle reminders that he’s not alone, not anymore.

Sensibility:

Shiro’s never been one to back down from a challenge, and it’s not like it’s a secret any longer. So he says, with every intention of being heard, “I love you too,” and the way Keith’s little smirk fades into something soft and genuine is completely, utterly worth it.

Worst: The Only Thing Sweeter.

Yes, she could get used to this. Breakfast in bed with her two favourite people? It’s not Altea, it’s not the Castle, but it’s exactly where she wants to be.

This one was for a flashbang, and I was at my word limit. I think the ending could have been better. 

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

More for sure! I’m a very slow writer, so I’m impressed by my word count. :)

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? I wrote a domestic fluff piece! Surprised myself with that one. I don’t think I’d have expected to write Allurance a year ago either, since I only got onboard with that one around season 5-ish. 

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Hmmm. Maybe Pulmonary. It’s so self indulgent. Shiro-centric, check. Hanahaki, check. Sheith, check. Shallura, check. Kallura, check. Political marriage, check. Angst with a happy ending, check. Pining Shiro, check, check, and check. 

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

Make Believe is most popular in terms of comments/kudos on AO3, though Sensibility got more notes on tumblr. 

Make Believe: Fake dating is such a fun trope, and I love writing from Keith’s point of view. It’s a bit of a rollercoaster, and there’s SO much pining. I always love getting comments on that one--everyone’s so frustrated with them. >:) 

Sensibility: This one was a bit of a surprise! My writing is usually pretty dialogue-heavy, so having only one character speaking was an interesting challenge--especially so with Shiro, whose emotions are so repressed. I’m glad people liked how it turned out!  Story most underappreciated by the universe? Dissonance, by a large margin. It’s sort of a niche AU, so, fair enough. It's a lot of work to write, since I’m a bit obsessive about details, so it’s on hiatus for now.  Story that could have been better?  I like how Linger turned out, but there are a few things I would probably go back and change. There are parts of Silence, too, that I think could have been done better. Sexiest story?

 Haha, my stories are all very wholesome. They’re mostly just cuddling and pining. The closest I ever got to sexy was two years ago with A Game of Cat and Space Mouse, and even that was pretty chaste.  Saddest story? I cried writing the scene in No Matter where Shiro attacks Keith. I was sure that would never happen in canon since that would be too emotional... I am delighted to have been wrong. 

I wrote a couple sad drabbles, too, with Easier (Lance processing the clone situation) and the Kerberos Success AU (Keith helping Shiro live with his illness post-Kerberos). They earned me some lovely tags, such as “who the fuck needs a heart”, “*sobbing*”, “how dare you”, “fuck you??”, “are you trying to murder me”, and “CALM DOWN SATAN!” Job well done, I guess. :)

Most fun? Make Believe!  Fake dating is always fun.  Story with single sweetest moment? The entirety of The Only Thing Sweeter is sappy enough to give you a toothache, but single moment? Maybe the end of Linger, where Shiro doesn’t want to be left alone, so Keith lets him sleep in the common room with his head in his lap. 

Three words come back to him like a beacon, cutting through the swathes of dark memories under Haggar’s influence. “What you said to me,” Shiro says, “When we… when I almost… when you got that scar. You— you really meant it, didn’t you.”

Keith pulls back so Shiro can see his smile, honest and kind. “You know I always mean what I say.”

“Yeah,” Shiro whispers. “You do.”

“I meant what I said about you needing sleep, too,” Keith says. He rubs the tear tracks from Shiro’s face with his thumb, then guides him to lie down, bringing Shiro’s head to rest in his lap. “Get some rest, alright?”

With a soft sigh, Shiro lets his heavy eyelids fall closed. He’s calmed by the sound of fingers tapping against keys, interrupted occasionally by a gentle touch. A press to his wrist, a stroke of his cheek, a brush of fingers through his hair. He falls asleep to sweet, subtle reminders that he’s not alone, not anymore.

Hardest story to write?

Oh maaan, there were a few. The last AU in Perennial (Sacrifice) was definitely a challenge, the latest chapter of Silence just hated me, and the zine piece I recently wrote for @vldwhumpzine​ fought me tooth and nail. 

Easiest/most fun story to write?

Elementary for sure! Allura & Lance’s banter was just so fun and natural. It basically wrote itself. 

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I don’t know about shift, but Collect Call, Elementary, and Silence all really reinforced how much I love supportive Lance. 

Most overdue story?

I need to finish up Silence. There are also some prompts sitting in my inbox that I haven’t gotten around to.  

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I tried something different with the pacing for Linger. I was reading one of @lightshesaid​‘s fics and was in awe of her descriptive imagery, so I tried to slow down a bit and pay more attention to details. I’m not sure if it worked, but I tried!

I also wrote a couple stories without Shiro in them, and that was just crazy. 

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Finish Silence and Make Believe! Those are the big ones. I’ve also got some unpublished WIPs I’d like to get around to, like a piece set in the Kerberos Success AU, maybe a follow up to Pulmonary, and maaaybe that angsty post-s6 fic where Shiro comes out of the astral plane forgetting how to interact with the world and the people around him. Peer pressure is a great motivator. :)

Tagging: I’m awful with tagging and don’t want to put pressure on anyone, but if you want to please do and let me know--I’d love to see! 

[dontjudgememp3]

i can't find all these emojis on my phone so...ALL EMOJIS LET'S GO DO ALL THE EMOJIS

oh lordt okay [lady gaga voice] here we go! (the rest of my answers are after the jump, woo!)

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone? - i cant think of anything? i’m incapable of keeping shit to myself hashtag queen of venting

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be? - well i wish i had a dog so i could hug them 

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why? - squirtle because i identify strongly with those pictures of squirtle in sunglasses. also all of the hoenn region starts (torchic, mudkip and treecko) because they are beautiful brilliant angels and i love them

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like? - well, first of all it would be legal to eat the rich so jot that down

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had? - last night i had a dream that i went grocery shopping with zoe kravitz does that count

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend? - i like that my best friend (@gryffinddor) doesnt judge me for my bad decisions and that she supported me even when i used to caption everything with ‘me gusta’ and ‘THIS^^’ (on the real shes just an all round brilliant and beautiful person aw)

😘 talk about your crush or partner - well i dont have a crush or a partner so, next!

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back? - you may be petty punk but being honest...im just as petty and would definitely be rude back

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!) - oh jeez okay I like my eyes, I enjoy my own sense of humor and I enjoy being tall as heck

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it? - i’m really scared of octop*s tbh and i guess i’ll try and overcome it by watching The Handmaiden a bunch

🎁 what never fails to make you happy? - bipharah.tumblr.com/tagged/rainy-days i stock it with good, joyful content 

💙 what annoys you about some people? - ignorance and being judgemental.

😤 do you get angry easily? - not really? I get frustrated but not outright angry

🐇 what do you always daydream about? - living my best Gay life

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change? - the ignorance, the judgement and the general lack of compassion

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry? - ya didnt send me any names ya goof!

✈️ what is your dream city and why? - idk about dream cities but I really really want to go back to Paris. I love it there and wanna experience it as an adult

☕️ talk about your ideal day - i get to stay in bed and watch a bunch of netflix. my imaginary gf is real and next to me and there is a dog snoozin on ur feet

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert? - OH big introvert

💧 when was the last time you cried? - idk about a full blub but i genuinely teared up yesterday looking at the photos of yr dogs

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment - There’s Nothing Holding Me Back by Shawn Mendes, Down by Fifth Harmony, Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood, Winter by Pvris and Bad 4 Us by Superfruit

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why? - i’d be able to teleport. I just wanna visit all of my friends all of the time. like, I just want that to be easy

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say? - no one cares that yr a wuhluhwuh ya big gaymo, dont worry about it

💚 who are you jealous of and why? - i’m jealous of people living fulfilling lives with loved ones and partners and careless attitudes. god i wish that were me.jpg

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why? - bravery. i’m not an idiot, i don’t think i’m totally hideous, i’m not an asshole and i’m not struggling financially either. just wish i had a bit more courage to get shit done.

🙊 what are you ashamed of? - i’m ashamed of my lack of courage lmao. everything would be grand if i would just take more leaps and didn’t worry so often. it’s embarrassing 

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn? - I studied German for a bit so I know some of that but I’d like to be fluent. I also want to finish learning Korea and start learning Mandarin and Spanish

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be? - i wanna be friends to lovers trope with fareeha amari please and thank you

☁️ talk about your dream universe. - whomst on earth has a dream universe, goodness gracious

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today? - the day is nearly done but tomorrow i’m going to say some affirmations to myself. self-care is kindness am i right

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why? - i would turn into an elephant. they live in a matriarchy and thats #goals

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike - the tories can eat shit. they were the first people that came to mind, so!

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately - what doesnt make me anxious these days hahahahaahah, fuck.

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now? - i wanted to be a writer. now that i’m a writer i want to be a better paid writer

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods? - in this house we appreciate DOUGHNUTS

🍑 what are you obsessed with? - my current obsession is ovw. but i’ve been obsessed since launch so that ain’t new!

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed? - one time i was so stressed that i started losing my hair so uh, that.

😪 what are you sick of? - me, self-sabotaging my own dam self!

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker? - oh heck no

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have? - that wynonna earp is a good show, actually

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person? - yes, i think so.

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies? - does spending an exorbitant amount of time on tumblr count as a hobby 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself? - There’s Nothing Holding Me Back by Shawn Mendes bc I couldn’t remember what it was called

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it? - I’m not always so open about my thoughts, feelings and fears. I guess I’m improving it by just being more straightforward?

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored? - i can’t draw for shit my dude, so I don’t doodle

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams? - it’s the anxiety

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you? - intj. I have no idea if it suits me tbqh

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite! - okay well i can’t do this one

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why? - normani kordei x 1000. because i love and appreciate her and she’s just good people

🐴 opinion on __? - can’t do this one either!

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person? - me, whomst cries at dogs? being emotional? its more likely than you think!

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them. - honestly i’m too lazy to go and find three books i’m sorry

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help? - focus too much on work/use my rainy days tag. and it works sometimes!

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad? - i remind myself that being sad is unproductive and try and shut that shit down

🌍 which country do you live in? - england

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words - tall, gay loser

🐵 which quotes changed you? - no quotes have changed me oops

💭 do you keep a diary? - no i do not

💫 who inspires you? - my mother

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why? - i refuse to answer this question because i don’t wanna get haunted

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like? - smart, preppy and includes a lot of blue

🎬 what are some of your favourite films? - Carol, The Handmaiden, Up, Imagine Me and You and White Chicks

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory? - playing mario party 8 on a gamecube with my cousins i miss when we all had time for that

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why? - i would meet normani and say thx for following me on twitter bbs

[vogue-c-h-a-n-e-l]

kim taehyung

He was always quiet. The rumor around school was that the only person around school that has actually heard his voice was his best friend. Still, he only ever spoke a few words to his best friend. It wasn't like he was hated or bullied, in fact it was the complete opposite. He gained positive attention from both sexes, male and female. He was also love by his teachers, so it was always a wonder to you as to why he was the quiet boy that he is. Most of the girls at this school like him because of his good looks. You can't blame them though, this man's complexion was as smooth and melted chocolate. The melanin in his skin made him even more beautiful. Heck, you're even guilty of daydreaming about what it would be like to run your hair through his dark locks at times. Although he is very good looking, what you loved most was his art. You always noticed him drawing in a small notebook during lunch, sometimes you'd look for too long and accidentally lock eyes with his. This boy in general made you curious. But now, now was the time when you were most curious. You were visiting the hospital your sick older brother was staying at and while you were checking in you noticed a familiar figure running around and playing with the children staying at the hospital. The lady at the desk seemed to notice your staring and smiled. "Handsome isn't he? That's Kim Taehyung, I believe he's about your age. He comes here every month on the 18, cant tell you why though since it's not really my business to tell. Here's your visitors pass," she said handing the sticky tag to you and you pressed it on you handbag. When you looked back both Taehyung and group of children were gone. You thanked the lady and headed, excitedly, to your brother's room with the bouquet of flowers in your hand. You hadn't seen him since last week and that was mainly because he told the nurses at the hospital that he didn't want to see you, instead he wanted you to go home and study for your finals (which you did fairly in might I add). You were so excited that you forgot to knock before opening the door, and you regretted not knocking the moment you stepped inside. "Oppa," you yelped, trying not to cause too much attention to the room you where staying. You unintentionally dropped the flowers and turned around, you were now traumatized and trying to recollect yourself. "Ya! You should've knocked," he yelled as he quickly closed his laptop and zipped up his pants. "You can turn around now." You slowly backed up and squatted down to pick up the bouquet with your back still towards him, "I can't. I don't think I can ever look at you the same ever again." "Stop overreacting, I'm almost 26 and i have no wife what did you expect. Plus, everyone does it once in a while. Don't act like you haven't-" "No," you said to defend yourself. You turned around and gave him a slight look of disgust and went to change the flowers in the vases. "How are you feeling?" you asked taking a seat next to the bed he was in. Your eyes traveled up and down his body, then back up at his eyes and you gave him a small smile. The rest of your visit included you guys talking about his treatment, playing some video games and of course him asking you to set him up with the nurse that's in charge, to which of course you said no. When it came time for you to leave he stopped you saying he had someone he wanted you to meet. To which you raised an eyebrow to and joked, "Omo- don't tell me you finally got in a steady relationship." "Ya! I've been in a steady relationship before. Just listen to your older brother and sit down. He'll be here soon-" "Wait- he? Oh my god oppa you're gay?! Congratulations on coming out of the closet," your joke earned you a a curse word and you decided to zip it. It was thirty minutes past eleven and you had to go home. The closest the bus would stop was two streets away from your house and you never felt safe walking alone at night. "Oppa, it's getting late. Maybe I can meet him tomorrow," you started saying as you stood up. The door opened and in walked the infamous Kim Taehyung, a book and two consoles in hand. He gave your brother a smile and when his eyes reached yours he froze, and well so did you. "Ah, just in time. Y/N I'm sure you know who this is." "Yes I do oppa, but why?" you asked your voice trailing off. You never realized how beautiful, and tall, Taehyung looked up close. You had no idea whether to be shocked or happy. "Oh I meant him a while ago when I was taking my weekly walk around the hospital. I found out he goes to the same school as you and I figured you kinda needed a boyfriend. You're sixteen and you haven't even had your first ki-" "Oppa!" you yelled giving your oppa a look that meant he better stop talking before you embarrass him in front of everyone in the hospital. Your older brother cleared his throat and moved his hands towards the door, "Y/N was just about to leave. It's a little late so I don't really want her alone. Could walk her home Taehyung-ah?" "Hmm? Oh uh yes of course," Taehyung spoke, and those six words made you like him even more. His voice was deep, it was like music to your ears. "Goodnight oppa. Sweet dreams," you leaned down at your older brother, pretending to give a goodbye hug, and pinched his arm. "Don't ever do this again. I'm so embarrassed, like it's going to be so awkward," you whispered and got back up. You gave your brother a smile and his face had scared written all over it. You couldn't help but laugh a little. Although you didn't notice, but your laugh made Taehyung smile. He'd always like you. He's had a crush on you since you guys were in your first years of high school and his feeling only escalated from there. He always loved the genuine smile on your face whenever you were with someone you cared about, he hated it when he saw you crying in the hallways due to your ex boyfriend breaking up with you. He felt like punching the guy for making you cry. He's drawn you thousands of time before without even noticing. His friends have always made fun of him because of it too. To them you weren't the prettiest or the smartest, but to him you were. For the first few minutes the walk to your house was well to say the least awkward. You both were too scared to say anything. However, as time went by the awkwardness shrunk. You guys were walking closer to each other, your hands almost touching, and he even gave you his jacket when you complained about it being cold. People honestly thought you guys were a new couple, the smiles on faces as you guys started talking about the things you had in common might've been what convinced them that you guys were dating. When you realized you guys were inches away from your house, you were actually thinking of passing by it and continue walking. But, you'll see him tomorrow anyways so there was really no point in you doing that. You got home safely, and you couldn't wait to talk to him tomorrow at school.