#this double bind has been driving me nuts since I was like 14 when I first encountered it

[phleb0tomist]

people love telling me not to isolate myself when I’m having a crisis- reach out, don’t hide, etc- and while that’s a lovely sentiment, a lot of people don’t seem to understand what it entails in practice? like they truly don’t seem to have considered that me being open during my mental health crisis will mean them actually Seeing and Hearing small parts of that crisis.

“don’t hide yourself” seems to come with a secret caveat of “but don’t be unpalatable either”. often my openness leads not to support but to an ethics debate about whether it was condemnable of me to let my struggle be slightly visible. interesting. when i wear short sleeves or make casual mention of the long-term aftermath of my self injury, it’s somehow perceived as me saying “self injury is awesome! i think the whole world should do it!” instead of being perceived as me living exactly as i always have, just hiding a little less, bringing you into my world a tiny bit, like you asked. healed scars are the only ones i allow to be seen, i cover up healing injuries and i don’t talk about methods or anything overly specific or sensational. i openly discuss harm reduction measures & therapeutic strategies. but somehow ppl still disapprove of the snippets they see when i reach out.

if you want people to reach out during crisis you have to accept that theres no way for a person to make themselves palatable while theyre showing you their severe mental illness lmao. they’re not going to provide you constant caveats while sharing their feelings like “ive been having trouble coping so i fell back on self injury. but i don’t condone it! YOU shouldn’t do it and I condemn myself for having done it btw! I will never forgive myself for this expression of mental illness, i’m so sorry I revealed it to you.”

this post might be a vent I can’t rly tell. open to conversation if anyone has any similar experiences 👍

[masterasmodeus]

Q&A by request

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

I’m fine with all of these, if we measure by done the most, couch

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why?

Good, it was in public but not overt or obvious, very fun.

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed?

Thor

4: Something that never fails to make you horny?

tears

5: Where is one place you would never have sex?

a childs bed

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ?

being farted on while going down on someone.

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny?

tears

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]?

i prefer rope for versatility.

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny?

be horny and tell me about how horny you are and what you want to do about it.

10: Top or bottom?

mostly top, but not opposed to bottom 

11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in]

fuck, the bar opened

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

one is never enough but it is always appreciated, necessary ? no, but defiantly preferred. 

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find? 

panties that were cut off a play partner during a scene. 

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you?

haven’t been called anything i consider weird.

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex?

Giving: like,the way they respond, dislike hair in my teeth.

Receiving : like the look in their eyes. dislike too much teeth.

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you?

nothing i consider weird

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? 

yes, depending on my diet i can be sweet or spicy 

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom?

yes, all things are negotiable.

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

Laura B. ..shes still hot

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience?

strawberrys or whipped cream

21: How big is too big?

this is a little vague ...6 foot 6, double J ?

22: One sexual thing you would never do?

actual rape

23: Biggest turn on? 

eyes, certain looks 

24: Three spots that drive you insane?

here, there, everywhere.

25: Worst possible time to get horny?

job interview.

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

love it when it’s genuine, hate it when it’s fake or sounds forced.

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had?

some positions don’t work in small cars.

28: How much fapping is too much fapping?

when you are late to appointments or miss important things to do it. all things in moderation.

29: Best sexual complement you ever got?

No one have ever made me cum like that before.

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji?

bald is preferred, landing strip can be fun.

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut?

lt’s about the journey not the destination.

32: Fill in the blank: “If they ____________, we are fuckin” 

ask properly lol

33: What your favorite part of your body?

eyes

34: Favorite foreplay activities?

kissing and undressing the other person

35: Love 

not sure what the question is

36: What do you wear to bed?

usually boxers, occasionally nothing

37: When was the first time you masturbated?

ever? 5 or 6 

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

no, I delete them after.

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

yes, I love it especially in the rain, its been some years.

40: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

Yes, see 39

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

yes, its been some years, i would consider it but the chemistry would have to be great between everyone involved.

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

back massager

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

yes

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

never have but have wanted to for a long time.

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

The Kiss by Trevor Jones

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

stormy weather

47: Most attractive celebrity?

Christina Ricci

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

lesbian occasionally

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

two days

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

not that i know of.

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

bad smells

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

yes, no one has mentioned them, i sometimes find them sexy on others.

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

yes, its fun and i like the way they respond.

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

i love tattoos, lets get one together.

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

It might be fun, i would want to know it if I did.

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

pizza

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

i don’t currently have an SO but i have no secrets.

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

nipple suckers and nipple clamps, 4 years (depends if BDSM toys count)

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

sure, see 57

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

maybe, depends on what they suggest.

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

assuming money and safety are the same, prostitute.

62: Do you watch porn?

yes, not often

63: How small is too small?

for what ? 4 foot ? size 0 ?

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

yes, getting turned on by tears.

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

Phoenix, it meant time to have fun.

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

only if we had the same model phone

67: Do you feel comfortable going “commando��?

casually yes, don’t care for it at my current job.

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

i have before.

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

at least once

70: Booty or Boobs?

boobs if i’m just looking, booty if i want to take them home.

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

i do and i have not.

72: Have you ever been on an official date?

yes, but not recently.

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

yes, they regularly accused me of cheating when i wasn't, eventually, i cheated because i was being accused anyway might as well do the crime since i was doing the time.

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

Dr. Steel

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

No, yes as long as they weren’t home.

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

wouldn’t care as long as the sheets were clean when im ready for bed.

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina

that looks interesting...how does it work?

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?

i have a penis , if i had a vagina .., touch it, put toys in it, find some one to fuck

[prettyflyforacyguy]

all

rlord christ uh okay

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

kitchen Table. ;3

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

good!!!!! it was early morning and aiden was off work so we decided to mess around and it was just v low stress and nice

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

hm uh. who;s that one tiger from zootopia? shit dice drew a commission of him a while back. the sexy one. he’d treat me right.

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

there are like a million dumb fucking things aiden does that makes me lose my gdamn mind!!!!!! like, when he loosens his tie and gives me The Sex Look or kisses my neck in a certain spot... luv that husband

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

somewhere kids could see :/

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________

one time admittedly when i was new to anal i had the inevitable ShitDick scenario bc i didn’t know how to prep myself properly........im so fucking sorry, trey, im so sorry

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

this petsmart flyer came in the mail once. that was a weird jerkoff. made me realize im deep in petplay pff

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:

aiden;s been practicing shibari and it’s pretty fun! i’d say its my fav way to be restrained rn 

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:

it aint hard idk

10: Top or bottom?

this bitch be bottomin, my ass is Ready

11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in]

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

it depends on how much stamina u have or if you’re in the mood for more? that time waiting for the refractory period tho suuuuuuuucks, im so jealous of dfab ppl that can come multiple times :/

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

a valentine’s present for aiden, shhh

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

sometimes aiden fuckign. does French Shit and i dont know what he’s saying until after but it’s kind of become a joke because we’ll be having a really nice moment and he’ll lean in and like, whisper some bullshit like “my little lima bean” or “my sweet polished fork” and i fuckignt rftg,,, IT STILL SOUNDS HOT, WHY IS HE LIKE THIS 

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

that “pop” noise when ur mouth comes off the dick. also, when he like, holds your head with his fingers tangled in your hair and bobs your head down on his cock g gg go gogfdoood thats so hot i love it when he does that to me its nice

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

welcome 2 Trauma Land next question

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

yeah. it’s a pretty slutty thing to do, it’s not great tasting if u don’t like, pineapple and shit but it’s a pretty good way to get your partner turned on more

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

if u and ur partner get tested together and r clean and not seeing anyone else

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

my sophomore year humanities teacher in my study abroad program....holy Fuck. hooooly fuck. mr. nakamura still gets me going to this day. he has a wife tho :(

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

whipped creaaaam!

21: How big is too big:

some bad dragons are really intimidating. christ.

22: One sexual thing you would never do:

let ppl use me as an object again :/

23: Biggest turn on:

humiliation is pretty good

24: Three spots that drive you insane:

my neck

my back

my pussy, and my crack.

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

driving is pretty rough.

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:

ch r is  t  y es

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

define “worst,” anon.

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

who fucking calls it “fapping” still

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

Yikes^TM

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:

is this like, a lesbian thing? i dont get it

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:

YA GATTA NUT!

32: Fill in the blank: "If they ____________, we are fuckin"

IF THEY TRUCKIN WE ARE FUCKIN!

33: What your favorite part of your body:

my belly........? idk i used to Hate My Mcfuckin Self but aiden blows raspberries on me and its fkin cute holy hell

34: Favorite foreplay activities:

if i suck on aiden’s fingers he basically fucking Dies on the spot, so that’s fun to use. for myself, uhh. thigh kisses are hot. so hot.

35: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]

there was a a time when i wouldve said sex is bnetter but no, it’s Lov....i Love Husband

36: What do you wear to bed?

boxers, and my husband

37: When was the first time you masturbated:

probably when i was like nine or ten? in the “i dont know this is masturbating but it kinda feels nice” way

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

there’s a lot floating around there but most of it is during The Bad Time

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

uhhh shit its been a while i can’t really remember?

40: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

mhm. it’s not my fav tho

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

i;ve had more than a threesome, buddy

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

when i was young and desperate and trying anal for the first time i used a vibrating toothbrush but no one told me you’re supposed to not use the brush end. the bristles were rough. 

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

yes to both?? im a tiny troglodyte man what do u expect

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

maybe? this is a very specific situation, i know aiden would rather die than do anything on a plane tho

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

i feel it coming - daft punk

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

literally like anything can make me hard im fucking easy

47: Most attractive celebrity?

my husband....he’s a star, to Me...

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

yes. source: am gay

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

Unborn.

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

yes. i dont particularly like to think abt it but there’s a. big fan community wanting me to “come back” and it makes me super uncomfortable.

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

girls :/

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

i have a couple on my thighs and my belly from some healthy weight gain, but aiden doesn’t mind. he likes em

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

dick....me Sucky Cock...nya

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

i dont rlly care

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

i was a few people’s first lay and it was uh. difficult. they think they can just pound a man’s ass like their fleshlight and it’s rough when you’re like, laying there and your ass is on fire while you remind them to use more lube and also fucking go slower to start

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

sticky rice. good fucking lord, do not use sticky rice.

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

not really? we don’t hide things from each other

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

we own a Shit ton. i’ve had some since i was like, a teenager but i’ve been collectin some over the years

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

oh god no. aiden barely knows what memes are

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

no, me and aiden have already discussed like, scar reduction shit. i have a few nasty keloids :/

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

neither?? i mean, i was both for a while but *SLAMS TRAUMA BUTTON*

62: Do you watch porn?

duh

63: How small is too small?

all dick is good dick!!!!

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

continues to Slam the Trauma Button

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

probably not because aiden’s in a group chat with his work buddies and they’re all middle aged or young mom nurses. im a fish out of water.

67: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"?

sure, as long as its not like skinny jeans or something

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?

not rlly. good dick is good dick

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

im p sure everyone tries but usually i get my husband to B)

70: Booty or Boobs?

ass. please god, i’m all about ass

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

Ass Blaster 69

72: Have you ever been on an official date?

yes? like a movie and restraunt thing?

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

not that i know of, but there was a point when i was pretty low in life that i hopped around w/ partners and one night stands.

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

the Pole Faller. i have no body strength and im named that bc i’d fall off the pole

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

no??????????? nO??

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

what...what kind of question even is this

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina

“god i wanna put my mouth all over that”

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?

DOUBLE PENETRATION!!!!!! DOUBLE PENETRATION!!!!!