#this doesnt even include other quotebooks

[thatwriterwiththeblock]

so my gf @redhead7675 has been keeping up a list of weird shit i’ve said for a while now and i figured i may as well share the most updated version of this list she just sent me

I'm just clumsy not scary

I predict that pugs will rain from the ground

My phone was too slow for your wrath

Trisha: Why is there a bowl of popcorn in the fridge?

Lexi: It seemed like a good idea at the time

I have a trembling love for humanity as it stands

The heaven kinda broke

Sleep like the dead until somebody performs a sacrificial ritual

You’ll swear in frustration after accidentally swearing when trying not to swear

I don't make soul deals for chips

I'm standing on my eye

Excuse me sir, you don't know my life I'll eat donuts whenever I want

Oh yeah lil my dean voice I just go all alpha male bamf whenever I get nervous and voraciously flirt with the object of my terror

Again no I'm not talking about drugs I'm talking about gummy bears

More power to the kid then they play their cards right they can build a castle founded on the fallen forms of jerks with bloody noses

Wait was that a stripper joke

I’m eating pizza rolls like a trash compactor

I hope my death has nothing to do with the sound of crinkling aluminium foil

Physics and space time just break like crumbly bread

it is like painting a broken down foreclosure and hoping that it doesn't look about to collapse

we are either going to die as a race or be pinned with so many rules to keep us from hurting each other that we hurt each other in protest

We as humans have the greatest capacities for kindness, but also the greatest capacities for violence.

Onions would have made me angry

Oh god psychic tall elf

If you haven't noticed y'all are like corralling a SWARM OF POISONOUS LACKADAISY BUTTERFLIES

Decide pls are we the hookup generation that forgot how to date or the generation that kills overpopulation

A slight discoloration of the darkness that spoke to me

Jelly beans don't really have a tug and pull in gender if you know what I mean

She's got ultra intimidating eye makeup and heeled boots on and she looks like a marble statue that may stab me

Be calm u did good your pot just decided to be contrary and go through an irreversible rebellious phase

Blah blah blah the world is ashes But whatever guys it's been ashes for ages Put on those rose colored glasses

Come on I'm gonna freak out if it screams at me I'm just trying to watch a peaceful video about sadness

My literal worst nightmare is-- the sun's gone out, the seas have risen, and on what little land is left: velociraptors.

What part of jazz includes knives of death

Oh hey, there's that old animatronic lady who screams in tongues.

I mean the people coming by me might've been garbage. But they weren't garage doors

Crows are not omens of death they're just sweethearts that want peanuts

Is the side note the screaming cicadas or is the side note still coming

C'mon give me 5 seconds for my snappy reply before you pull the rug out from under my wit

Pile of disgruntled bird

For such a brilliant manga/anime it's so weird that little grape exists

I won't necessarily get arrested for breaking legs

I'm always looking for more murders

I'll be interested in serial killers until the day one murders me

You could literally learn anything but no you gotta get drugged and learn how to fling black fire with the snake man

How solid is congealed blood?

You couldn't pay me to eat a cube of congealed blood unless it was human blood

Hetero bullshit continues to be bullshit

That doesn't solve your problem, you'd still be dead if you were God

Hats off to the gay penguins, they got their shit figured out

i know we're talking about fake serial killers but is this what its like to talk to karkat

jigsaw probs felt the breeze of that multiversal hellscreech of rage

Yank him by the hair out of her boobs

CAn you stop with the diCks

Yes, he committed suicide and became a boner

This is not the economy to put a changeling in

Tbh if a short person ever comes running to stab me in the neck full speed on a pair of stilts I'll scream so loud it'll shake the Eiffel Tower that sounds terrifying

So please shut up before I eat your eyes with tongs

*distressed* DON'T DIE YOU'RE NOT MY MIXER

He's not a businessman he's a crook with a tie

What? Why does the mafia care about christmas

Welp this is my end, onion to the face

I mean fair crops don't have dying screams

8 foot tall namaste fake nirvana giant

My dude. My mate. My main anonymous stranger. I am the Ace. I am not thieving from Myself

YOU decided to go to war, but your horse didn't

life update i've discovered cactus themed bedspreads

no offense to heterosexuals but they're all morons

they'd pop my head off like a bottlecap if they so felt the fancy

I know what purgatory is and it's getting hungry and losing your appetite as soon as you get up to find food over and over again

day 7 without a hat: losing my mind. contemplating shearing my bangs out of frustration. the wind is my enemy. just checked amazon and IT IS JAN 11 WHY CAN'T YOU BE CLOSE

Once you start doing the homo, it's hard to stop