#this coming from the girl who loves history and period dramas lmaooo

[hanaasbananas]

#4, 6 18 and 20 for the author asks :)))

Hey anon! Thanks for the asks, lets see... this got kinda long so i'll put half of it under the cut.

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you're really proud of (explain why, if you like)

This is from my first ever ML fic it's all a game of chance (they say in wonderland)

He’s never used cataclysm on a person before, and he wonders. What will it look like? Will it be instantaneous? Or will he watch the light go out in his fathers’ eyes as his skin and bones, and organs all crumble slowly into ash…will it satisfy him? Soothe the raging, black cat inside him that howls to killhimkillhimkillhim, demanding punishment, revenge, retribution?

Will it be enough?

Adrien is in a really dark place for almost the entirety of this fic, and I just remember trying to get into that mindset of his, where he's feeling so angry and despairing and hopeless, and then he gets his miraculous back and all he can think of is getting revenge, but he still doesn't know if it will actually make him feel better.

Another one of my favourite passages from that fic that is similar is:

“A life for a life” Gabriel sounds glib. “You already know that” he brushes imaginary lint from his suit “can you honestly say you wouldn’t make the same trade?” His words stir at something inside him. The part that would do anything, that would willingly blacken his soul just to see Marinette smile again. But then he thinks of the years spent fighting side by side; making sure that goodness would prevail. He thinks of how horrified she would be to see him fall so far. (How she would forgive him anyway.)

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I answered this yesterday-here

18.Do any of your stories have alternate versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them

Since most of my stories are oneshots, I don't really change or abandon plotlines because they're so short.

Having said that, when I came up with the idea for Phantoms in the Dark- I had an entirely different direction I thought about going in. This is that:

When I was first plotting it out and trying to figure out what year the story should take part in, I originally had it during Napoleon's reign, after the French Revolution.

Adrien was going to be a disillusioned soldier who had returned from Napoleon's failed Russian military campaign in 1812, having lost faith in the rulers of his country. So originally, I had him as a deserter from the army who had stolen the ladybug and black cat miraculous from his father when he deserted-which was why Gabriel was after him because he'd promised the Emperor that he'd have guaranteed success with the miraculouses in his posession.

The thing with Napoleon (and don't quote me on this its 12.40am right now and I can't be bothered to properly look this up-this is just from memory) was that when his campaigns were succeeding, things were going alright, but with continued military failures, it was affecting the country's resources and economy-especially with mandatory conscription meaning all able bodied men and boys were fighting in the wars.

Adrien then became a highwayman because he saw the effect the wars were having on the people and wanted to do something about it.

In this version, he actually gave Marinette the earrings as well-which would have been why the inn was later ambushed at the end, but the outcome would have been the same because Chat had told her she had to keep the miraculous hidden and they'd done the ambush expecting her to transform and thus prove she was in possession of it, but Marinette did...something else instead.

This would have been WAY more complex so I scrapped it because i'm lazy and a shitty worldbuilder & also because I wanted to focus more on the characters than the historical context of events and I would have wanted to do loads of research or it would have driven me crazy to have my setting be inaccurate.

So that's how we got 1788 instead. The year before the revolution really kicked off, but with enough stirrings and political things going on that I could pepper it into the story lmao

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you've included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Idk if I have any meta's for my work rn-maybe I'll write one when I finish Forgotten Promises, but for now here's a fun thing I don't think anyone noticed in Phantoms.

In chapter 9, Chat talks about the mythology of a phoenix-bursting into flame and then being reborn etc etc and then he talked about his mother:

“In mythology, the Phoenix is a bird that bursts into flames and rises anew from it’s own ashes. I like to think that my mother is like that bird. That she was freed from my father as she longed to be for so long.” “My father—” Chat’s voice was rough. “My father is a...formidable man. Mother feared him as much as she loved him, I think, though she never let me see it. I idolised my father as a child, and she didn’t want to ruin my perception of him,” he chuckled humourlessly. “She needn’t have bothered. He did that himself, later. “I just-I wish her freedom hadn’t come at the cost of her death.”

And then later in the story....Marinette and Chat are reborn. It's a nice little detail I think that isn't really picked up on but I do love a bit of sneaky foreshadowing 😏

[blackrupee]

Wow your life sounds complicated right now I'm sorry for that. So you aren't gonna have any managers what the fuck? And OH MY GOD I hate when people come in to eat so close to close!!!! ( I work @ zaxbys) if someone is acting passive aggressive I would act even more passive aggressive- make that bitch regret it- regarding the 2 guys: 2 guys is better than no guys:))) wish the first one didn't pressure you though. How did the 2nd one hurt you? - and I care so don't worry about boring me

hi hello would you like to read a novel on my life thanks i talk too much (tldrs at end)

nah like.. we had been managing with a general manager and 3 assistant managers even though we really need 4 so as not to overwork anyone. we recently hired a new one from a corporate arbys (we’re franchised) and two just quit. like i mentioned, theyre not coming back even though the original plan was that their new jobs would be only temporary (6 weeks). sooooo now we have a general manager who only works weekday day shifts, one assistant manager who is relatively new (she had been working at this place for a while but was promoted to manager 6ish months ago) and another who is brand new but still has some experience. they said theyre looking to promote from within initially, but they might have to hire outside people if no suitable potential manager is picked. id love to get manager pay and its not like managers do anything hard so id be WILLING to be a manager..like the whole reason why i got trained on backline was because we have such a big turnover rate with backline people since it fucking SUCKS and i was wanting to be helpful and flexible. so like. thats what i offerred. but one assistant manager was like “lmao all youd do is swear at the customers�� and im like bitch when have i ever?? i talk shit about them all the time but ive only sworn IN FRONT OF a customer twice and neither time was it directed at them. but i mean im sitting on a small handful of customer complaints so its not like the gm would even consider me probably. idk dude. i can be nice if you pay me to be nice. but i get paid to do food and do it fast……….so

but yeah literallyyyyyyyyy i have no idea how people can be so??? inconsiderate???? and they dont??? care??? im learning that my contant frustration with people in my personal interactions is due to a disconnect between what i value in  expectations and what actually happens. like. when i go somewhere i already KNOW what i want, so i say it quickly and competently. i preface a lot of my interactions with people im requesting food or services from with “i’m sorry but…”. i phrase things as “could i get” as opposed to “get me” or “i want” which sound HELLA rude tbh. id always have my money ready at the window or the register, im always trying to pay attention and not miss anything or just….be rude in any way bc i know fast food fucking sucks. i know some of the people i interact with probably hate their job as much as i do and i want to be the smallest burden i can be. and it seems like nearly no one else has these same values???? and i dont understand how people can just??? be? so? inconsiderate?

also yes bitch im the queen of passive aggression. literally the night before i was working a short shift and my friend was closing frontline and this bitch was closing drivethrough. i just got the okay to clock out and i was like “bye! have a beautiful night! just know that i love you so much and ive everything ive ever said has always been fake until this point! never meant anything ive ever said until now especially if your name starts with k or ends with ristin (drivethrough girl/the one whos being so difficult is named kristin) but just know that i love you!” and basically being really dramatic and extra as satire.

i guess for context the whole reason she decided to be mad at me was the other night when she was drunk and was like “do you even likeeeeeee meeee i feel like you hateeeee meeee wahh wahh wahhhh” even though im like…..yes bitch i enjoy your company? i joke/use hyperbole/satire/irony/whatever a lot but like occasionally id be like “ey yo you know its all jokes right u know i love u right” just to ensure that she knows but she fucking. ignores it all. i feel like she so desperately WANTS me to hate her and tbh i got fucking sick and tired of hearing her complain all the time about this shit! i fucking hate repeating myself! so sure. if you want me to hate you so fucking much there. i hate you. i fucking hate you so fucking much. like is that what you want to hear? is that validating? are you fucking happy?

its so fucking frustrating

but i will not be held accountable for her decision to be upset. because thats what it is. she wants to be upset, and she wants me to be responsible for it when its literally not my responsibility. i am absolutely not going to stand for this shit like i kind of want to say its emotional abuse lmaooo but im just so fucking sick of it. 

everyone knows that i take chicken tenders and turnovers that would be thrown out at the end of the night and she was closing frontline yesterday and made a point to throw out the turnovers right next to me without asking if i wanted any/leaving any for me. i mean i completely expected her to be that petty of a bitch so it was kind of funny tbhonestly. also im p sure she unfollowed me here lmaoo

with regards to the guys and this paragraph could get a bit tmi/nsfw: yeah the first one kind of sucked but i feel like a little bit of the New Person Nerves have worn down so id do better if we were to hookup again. because like i totally would love to have fucked him but…..anxiety. he was hot tho. like 10/10 body and ass holy shit. plus he complimented me on my ass eating so (assuming that was genuine and not a vapid ego boost haha paranoia am i right) hopefully he comes back for seconds. 

second guy ive had a longish history with. started talking to him at the beginning of last fall semester and we hooked up kinda regularly for about a month. things fell apart, we both understood that we wouldn’t be good dating wise but still enjoyed meaningless cuddles. whatever. it got to a point where he would only hit me up like once every month and a half or so and towards like january-ish he hits me up again. so im like nice cool lets chill. im getting ready for this but my phone is in the other room. while im doing this he drove by my place to pick me up (since he was on his way back from nashville), didnt get a response to an “im here” text (bc i was busy and tbh not expecting him to do that), and left. he lives within like walking distance tho so im like “?? sorry i was busy are you still out or should i walk over?“ and he texts me like “sorry hold up a thing just happened” and im like…….okay. so im just.. waiting around for him. periodically texting like “hey are we good for tonight and whats going on?” because like there was some drama with his friend? hes like.. apologizing and shit but this goes on for an hour. BUT. the ENTIRE time he’s dealing with this friend problem or whatever he’s literally on grindr. and at the end of this hour im like in full blown paranoia panic mode and i literally text him something mentioning this and he BLOCKS ME ON GRINDR so im like ??????!!!!??? and i text him (all while saying “not to be crazy or paranoid bc im probably coming off that way but like could i get an answer or something??”) AND HE LITERALLY SAYS HE DELETED HIS GRINDR. but thats a LIE because i have a secondary account to see like……if guys are still on grindr/if a thing with a guy might turn into something more like if i see he’s not on grindr as much?? thats prob incredibly stalkerish and probably really creepy but hey. thats me. so i KNOW he lied to me but i cant really say “hey ur a liar” without disclosing this weird creepy stalker part of me (funnily enough this isnt the first time a guy has lied to me and i caught it with my secondary account! so it proves to have some function use in the end. not totally crazy). so. yeah. that was the incident. after this i dont trust him at all, and i still dont, but i had it in my mind to like somehow get him to fall in love with me just so i could break his heart for doing this? never really worked out. so now im at the point where im like….eh he’s a piece of shit and i hate him but ill cuddle with him bc it feels good

back to nsfw/tmi: the sex was okay. he’s weird about people being near his like….dick and stuff because he was raped and i totally get it bc i was too but he was comfortable enough for me to finger him and my finger still hurts from where he clenched when he came lmaoooooo. was totally hot tho. and i got to east his ass so im like eyyyyyyyy. its been so long since ive eaten ass so having it two consecutive nights in a row has been cathartic.

tldr; we have 2 assisant managers and a gm rn. looking for more

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; he’s a liar