#this chptr also alfons heavy

[kurishiri]

11 . . . main story & letter

— this translation may not be 100% accurate or may contain creative liberties. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost or claim these as your own!

— cw: consumption of alcohol, mentions of sexual assault, murder, neglect, and suicide.

When Lord Elbert fell asleep, his grip loosened on me.

I took that opportunity to quietly slip out of his room.

(Where is he...?)

For several minutes, I fruitlessly searched around for Alfons, walking around aimlessly within the manor.

When I finally found his jet black hair, I saw he was in the garden, bathing in the moon’s light, which almost seemed blue.

Kate: ...Alfons.

He was leaning back in his chair, with his crossed legs atop the tea table which was set in the garden.

It appeared Alfons was drinking.

Alfons: Wandering around late at night like this... you really are naughty, aren’t you.

A: If you were anyone else, I would have wanted to show them a dream they wanted to see.

A: But strangely enough, you don’t seem to want that.

Kate: ...Should I be happy?

Alfons: If you want to do something outrageous with me, you should feel sad.

Alfons cast a bewitching sidelong glance at me.

(As usual, I can’t seem to get a read on him...)

At his feet, forget-me-not flowers were wavering.

(Come to think of it, Alfons’ last name is the same as that flower [1].)

Alfons: Did something happen, with Elbie?

His eyes, which were the color of the night sky, narrowed meaningfully.

With some hesitation, I approached Alfons, taking a seat next to him.

Kate: Lord Elbert said that he... wanted to ‘have’ me.

Alfons: Ahh... so it’s like that.

A: I was aware it was only a matter of time, but to think it would happen as soon as tonight...

A: Now that it’s come to this, it’s not certain you’ll be able to fulfill your Fairytale Keeper duties without incident.

A: This is getting more and more troublesome, it seems.

Kate: I-I didn’t think it was that troubling...

Alfons: That’s not true. Despite how I look, I was always worried for you? You knew that, didn’t you?

Alfons traced his fingertips, which were covered by his black gloves, along my jaw.

Alfons: Even in the best of times, this world is filled with tragedy.

A: To willingly act out this tragedy, is that not foolish?

(Alfons had always said not to get involved further with Lord Elbert.)

It might have been because he knew that in doing so, I would only be stepping into tragedy.

He brought my chin closer to him, and a sweet, yet somehow complex fragrance tickled my nose.

Alfons: ...Shall I tell you of a way you can get Elbie to lose his interest in you?

Kate: ...

Alfons: If he continues to have his eye on you, the only ending that awaits you is confinement, imprisonment, or, in the worst case, death.

His words were so straightforward that my spine grew cold.

But, if I become scared here, nothing will ever get better.

Kate: I know. But now, more than that... I want to know what Lord Elbert’s sin is.

K: That’s why, I came to find you.

Alfons: So I see... you are choosing to dive in of your own free will? Rather than saving yourself?

Kate: I—

K: Of course, I don’t want to be locked up or killed to be decorated. But...

K: ...if he ever did such a thing... how much would the truth of his deeds...

K: ...hurt Lord Elbert deeply, make him sad... Just imagining it terrifies me.

K: That’s why... I want to know, truly, what drives him to do such things.

Alfons: ...

Alfons had been with Lord Elbert since they were young, so there was no way he did not know.

Kate: Why, does he allow the butlers and maids to do such things to him?

K: He should be at a standing where he can dismiss them or give orders.

Alfons: That is true. After all, he is the head of the manor.

Kate: At the art dealer’s party, his clear rejection protected me.

K: If only he could use that to protect himself...

K: But the reason why he can’t do that, has something to do with his ‘sin,’ right?

Amid the dusk, a night breeze lightly blew, carrying with it the almost cloying fragrance of the flowers to the tip of my nose.

Alfons: ...It’s a waste of time to face something like reality.

A: You are serious to the point of foolishness. Both you, and Elbie.

At the same time he said this, he withdrew his hand from my chin.

He stood up from his seat, walking toward the darkness.

Kate: Where are you going?

Alfons: You come with.

Kate: Eh?

Alfons: You want to know, don’t you? What his sin is.

Alfons brought me to a room that looked like a study.

Kate: This is...?

Alfons: Now, now, there’s no need to rush. First, take a seat.

A: Even if it’s painful, the moon tonight is beautiful. It’s ideal for a story before bedtime, no?

(A story...?)

His wording baffled me, but I took a seat on the sofa as I was told.

Alfons: Before I start, I would like to ask you something. Are you prepared?

Kate: When you say ‘prepared’...

Alfons: Of course, I mean whether you’re prepared to listen to Elbie’s story.

A: Anyhow, it is not a story fit to put one to sleep. But, is that alright with you?

Kate: Yes... it’s alright.

Alfons: What a resolute answer. It would be great if you yourself are as strong as your resolve, too, though.

Alfons was sitting next to me, and beneath the moonlight that filtered in through the window, he let out a seemingly exasperated sigh.

Alfons: Well, I did take you to be the type to not run away after having come so far.

Kate: ...If I had wanted to run away, I would not have asked you in the first place.

(To be honest, if I said I wasn’t scared at all, that would be a lie.)

(I feel like... I’ll hear something more painful than what I witnessed today, after all.)

(Not only that, this is the same as peeking into the things that had hurt Lord Elbert.)

(Just knowing in and of itself might cause him more pain.)

I clenched my hands, which were on my knees.

The cold sensation of Lord Elbert’s hand on mine still lingered on my fingertips.

(Even so... I have to know. Because, I don’t want Lord Elbert to hurt himself more.)

(And if I don’t know the reason, I can’t convince him.)

Sorting my feelings out again, I looked straight at Alfons.

Kate: I’m ready. Please, tell me.

Alfons: ...Very well, then. I’ll share with you as much as I know, then.

The moonlight from the window lengthened our shadows——

Alfons: Once upon a time, in a certain place, there was a child, born from parents of peerless beauty.

A: The father’s name was Hugh, and the mother Cecilia.

A: And it was here where Lord Elbert and I had first met as children.

A: It was here we met — right after he had killed the doctor who assaulted him. He was 9 years old at the time.

Kate: Eh...?

(Lord Elbert... killed someone...?)

Within the otherwise silent room, the sound of my heart grew louder and faster.

It seemed that, whatever I was about to hear about Lord Elbert’s past would sink me to the depths of a deep place, where not even a ray of light would be able to shine through.

In a place more deep than I had ever imagined.

—— Elbert’s POV ——

——When I opened my half-lidded eyes, I could see many flowers, all of vibrant colors.

Just now, Kate had come to my room,

and I should have fallen asleep with my hand holding hers.

At some point, I found myself in a field of flowers.

(——It’s the usual dream, isn’t it?)

In my light sleep, I’ve seen memories of my childhood in my dreams many times.

Tonight, too, I had no choice but to fall asleep, drowning in this dream.

I stopped resisting, and quietly entrusted my body to this dream.

Once I did, I heard a clear voice.

Elbert: Mother... I found a pretty flower.

Cecilia: ...Oh, it really... is pretty.

C: Thank you, Elbert.

(Ah... there it is again.)

(She has those eyes again.)

Mother would sometimes look at me with something like fear in her eyes.

(She’s looking at me the same way she looks at caterpillars, which she hates.)

I would always feel unsettled when I looked into those eyes.

It gave me a sense of uncertainty that all of the peaceful happiness was a lie.

That, at any point in time, something that was happening before us...

...could shatter into pieces like a mirror on the floor.

It was a vague, yet overwhelming fear.

(What can I do to make this fear disappear?)

(——What can I do, for Mother to smile at me?)

Wet nurse: What a beautiful child. He has locks as gold as My Lady.

Maid: He’s like an angel. See, look at those jewel-like eyes.

Butler: It was like he was born to be happy.

Paying little mind to the growing uncertainty and fear within me, the maids and butlers around me sang praises of me being beautiful.

It was almost as though ‘being beautiful’ was a condition for happiness.

(——Flowers, pretty bird feathers, glass that sparkled, butterfly specimens.)

Before I knew it, as if to bury my uncertainty, I started to collect beautiful things.

(If I have this, then it will surely be alright.)

(So, that’s why, please smile.)

(——Please don’t look at me, with those sad eyes.)

—— Kate’s POV ——

Alfons’ voice was always calm, as if he were actually spinning a tale.

And I continued to earnestly listen to him speak about Lord Elbert’s past.

Alfons: He was 6 years old when he found out the reason why his mother avoided him so.

A: Having left a will behind, she took her own life.

Kate: ...!

(Lord Elbert’s mother did that...?)

Alfons: ‘I can’t bear having to live while lying to my beloved.’

A: Supposedly, that was what was written in her will.

A: And also...

A: ‘Elbert was born from someone who is not my husband, against my will.’

I covered my mouth with my palm, as it seemed imprudent to let out any voice.

If I didn’t, it seemed something dark and heavy that had bubbled inside me would overflow in a moment.

Alfons: Is it alright if I continue?

Whether it was out of kindness or pity, Alfons looked at me, as if asking for confirmation.

Kate: Yes... you can.

Alfons: To be clear, I don’t mind if you want to run away now? I imagine this is rather hard on your fragile, glass-like heart?

Kate: ...Not at all.

(I haven’t yet heard, what I want to know.)

I shook my head firmly and looked determinedly at Alfons.

His smile widened.

Alfons: ——Well then, I will continue.

A letter with a wish, received before we left for the manor

To be honest, I’m a little concerned about bringing you with me... so I’ll write this.

No matter what happens at the manor, I don’t want you to worry about it. If you feel there’s anything strange, then find something else to distract you.

It’s not something you should be worried about, so you don’t have to feel you need to do something about it.

The servants won’t do anything rude to guests, so you don’t need to worry about that.

And, if I ever look different than usual, simply leave me be.

If possible, I wish for you to spend your time with a gentle smile.

—Elbert Greetia

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NOTES:

[1] a forget-me-not and sylvatica refer to the same thing. The Japanese version had written out [シルヴァティカ] (shiruvatika) in the previous line, but I felt it better for flow’s sake to call them “forget-me-nots” here. But anyway, there’s some food for thought to make you think about Alfons’ character if you weren’t already, eheh.