#this chapter is eddie pov and there are bits that made me cry while writing it

[manycoloureddays]

bending the shadows for light | steve harrington & robin buckley, steve harrington x eddie munson

“God Robin,” he says into her neck. Her arms are around him before she consciously registers him moving, and she holds him tight. So tight it probably hurts. “I’m fucking terrified. The part of my brain that’s been whispering to grab all of you and run every day for two years is screaming at me. Why the fuck are we still here? I have such a bad feeling about this.”

or: the one where Steve dies (temporarily) ♥️

ao3 link

[ghost-proofbaby]

hour 22 💔 everyone's screaming, crying but I'm feeling weirdly pumped up by this chapter. And I remember feeling the exact same way in Shire when Willow and Eddie had their showdown outside Steve's (why is Steve's home always involved?! 🤣) It's hard to explain, but this is and was the turning point in both stories. Eddie's and R's previous interactions cannot carry on like they used to after this and it's a GOOD thing. and I know she's planning on never seeing him again but he can't let that happen, none of them will. Especially Nancy.

I can't even process them getting caught by the neighbour, you've written that so well, something that's supposed to be hilarious but just isn't in the wake of everything. And then her finally properly blowing up at him. That felt so cathartic, she's needed that for a while and for it to be an admission of love, not an insult, that's triggered it was genius.

His pov had my favourite parts for sure.

'Eddies eyes are back on you, palms running up his outer thighs until he curls them to fists by his hips'

Hailey. Ghost. You have created your own hand flex Darcy moment, you should be proud. Could physically feel how much he just wants to touch her, his pain that he can't.

Then her birthday, I have wondered a lot not exactly why he stayed away but how he felt about staying away and him wishing his own affection would have overfilled her cup, implying that he would have been there for the night with her. Just beautiful. But then my favourite,

'He's homesick. He's watched the way you've interacted with Robin and Steve the entire night, and he's goddamn homesick for a home that he'll never hold the keys to'

This was exquisite. Take a bow. I'm hurting in places I didn't know I could. Them referring to eachother as home though this entire fic so far has been so emotional. It's why I'm weirdly giddy about this chapter, because they've just gotta find their way back to eachother.

Her leaving was awful and so sad but, yea. It's necessary at this point. If she'd stayed she'd have made it seem ok that he did this, but also it's gonna maybe create a bit of assertiveness from Eddie and make him get everything he wants.

Also - it's so annoying that the bartender wasn't actually such a bad guy. I mean, f**k him for not explaining to her that he couldn't go through with the date because he needs to go get the love of his life, she would have understood. But yea, if you're gonna stand someone up, an epiphany is pretty good reason. Controversial opinion maybe.

Can't get over your brain for creating this fic and also can't get over that it was supposed to be like a filler between Shire and Mordor, like. WHAT? Just amazing. 🖤🖤

oh lord. i have to say: i will never not get a bit misty eyed at your long replies/comments on my fics. i just- god i love you so much bat.

i’m so so glad that the whole getting caught bit came across that way!! it was one of the particular scenes that gave me so much trouble!!! i know it’s funny in retrospect, but in that intense moment, it’d be so hard to laugh about. it’s hard to have that moment of comic relief between the whole l bomb that had been dropped and then the embarrassment that has to follow (especially when they were caught while both feeling so, so vulnerable).

and?? MY OWN DARCY MOMENT?? dear god that’s amongst the highest praise i’ve ever received 😭 i don’t even know how to feel besides incoherent squeals.

them referring to each other as home is something very near and dear to me. it’s a common thing that’s probably overused in my writing, but to me, that’s what love feels like — you know you’ve found your person/people (romantic OR platonic) when you just look at them and it feels exactly like that. it feels like coming home. that “in another life, i would have really liked doing taxes with you” and the poem about being content to just sit and make a grocery list and that one person you’d be okay with just sitting on the kitchen floor with, not a single word exchanged, just to be around them. through sadness, through happiness, just through existing. i could go on and on about it but. yeah 🥹

and yes! the bartender bit was very much annoying. it was important to me that it’s clear that it was monumental but also… really, who’s going to blame the guy? he’s insignificant to reader long term, but to eddie, that was just life changing. he couldn’t wrap his head around someone looking at reader and deciding there was someone better out there. and that’s really more reflective on him and his own journey of figuring out his shit than anything else. 🖤 (i do agree, though — don’t stand people up 😭 communication, people!! just communicate!!!)

thank you. thank you always always always for reading and for being so supportive and being amongst the people that have encouraged me to continue sharing these ideas. i just appreciate you a whole lot. and i’m sorry for the long ass reply, but your comments just always are so spot on and deserve responses that are at least a fraction of what you offer me <3

[hxneyfarm]

crashing into ur inbox with questions about greatest hits. what's been your favorite part of writing it? any bits of it you're particularly proud of? also if you have anything to share from the next chapter I will gladly gobble it up 💕

ask me about my wips

read <33333333

this last chapter is fighting me so hard! all i want is to finish it, release it into the world, and mark greatest hits as complete on ao3 - it will feel like such an accomplishment... when it finally happens.

i loved the initial push in the creation of it, back around new years, when the steddie brainrot was fresh and i was banging out 5k words a day... man, if only i could get that motivation back, y'know?

i'm so proud of the fight, the chapter following the fight, where i switched povs day by day while they dealt with the fallout, and i'm so fucking proud of the smut i've written for it - that scene on the couch, where they watched each other? it still gets me when i read it back. i worry that i've forgotten how to write smut, because that's what's fighting me right now.

i love you so so much for your consistent love and appreciation for greatest hits and honestly, this might be the thing that motivates me to get some words down tonight.

(i'm hoping to finish the last smut scene this weekend. it's t shot weekend and uhhhh, y'know.)

in the meantime, though, you can have a spicy little snippet from the chapter:

Eddie’s not going to last. It’s a sure thing, he’s going to blow so, so soon if he doesn’t think of something else, anything else really. There’s nothing else to think about. Not now, not like this.  

Not when the flat of Steve’s tongue is stroking along the underside of his cock and Eddie feels a blurt of precome leak out. Steve licks it from his slit and Eddie quakes beneath him. It’s like nothing he’s ever felt, Steve’s lips a tight seal around him while his tongue works magic, dancing along the head and poking into the slit. Steve applies suction and Eddie hears himself cry out, ready to burst already. 

“Steve,” he whispers, as Steve takes him deeper, gagging a little as Eddie glides right up to the back of his throat. “Slow down, babe, slow down. God, it’s too much, I’m not gonna -”

Steve sucks again and opens his throat somehow, sinking even further down Eddie’s dick until he’s taken nearly all of him. That pretty mouth was made for this, and Eddie tells him so, in short, choked off moans. “You…” he breathes, unsure of what he even wants to say. “You look so…” Steve tilts his head just enough to meet Eddie’s eyes. Jesus, Mary, and all the fucking angels in heaven. “You look so fucking slutty, Steve, I can’t. I’m so fucking sorry that’s so… ah, shit, sweetheart right there!” Eddie cries, throwing his head back so hard he nearly pulls a muscle in his neck, twitching as Steve pulls back to suck exclusively on the head.

[piratewithvigor]

A Review Of Classic Rock Fanfics I Wrote When I Was 12 That I Cringed Over For Years And Now Find Oddly Hilarious Now

GNR

Back In The Shadows: My necessary vampire AU where 3/5 of the original members are vampires and there’s a lot of angst. May rewrite someday with less cringey dialogue and more smut. 7/10

Crashing And Burning: A world where music is illegal and Axl has voices in his head that are the souls of dead musicians. Pretty much everyone makes an appearance. Steven has a stuffed elephant named Stacy. Would have been great if I ever finished it. 9/10

Junk: Written as a gift. Izzy and Steven create their own Christmas ornaments after realising how expensive they are. Little bit of shipping, but not enough. Feels rushed. 4/10

Meltdown: Axl throws a tantrum. I wrote one scene when I was angsty at my parents and then added a shoddy beginning and end. 3/10

Sleepless On D Block: Proud as hell of this one. The only one I was brave enough to post on AO3. Izzy is a death row guard who falls in love with his inmate- Axl. Like The Green Mile, but more gay. 10/10

Motley Crue

Ink: A badly-written poem about Nikki’s tattoos from his POV. For only 4 verses, it packs a punch. 6/10

Love, Nikki: It should have stayed as one chapter. Was going to be an imagining of Nikki’s suicide note to his bandmates. Progressed into the aftermath of the suicide where he’s forced to watch the world slowly forget about him. Why did young me romanticise this so much? 2/10

The Outlaw And His Whore: A wild-west AU with a Twincest ship (is that the ship name for them?) that I wimped out of writing an actual sex scene for, so I decided that Vince was narrating a sexual fantasy out for them in present day instead. Pretty much unreadable. 0/10

Rush

A Love Poem: Another angst poem. In this one, Alex is writing it for his husband, Geddy, who died of cancer. Made everyone who read it cry, which was exactly my intention. 7/10

By-Tor And The Snow Dog: A cross between Lion King 2 and Lord Of The Rings, but with Rush. I hadn’t planned it out enough, so it died after 2 chapters. Could have been epic. 4/10

I Do The Best I Can: Written for a prompt about how John would feel after having been replaced and how it impacts his relationship with Alex. Actually fairly proud of this one. 8/10

July 21, 2005: The date of gay marriage being legalised in Canada. Complete with a Dirxst ship and only 100 words long. 4/10

Just One More Story?: ‘What if these rockers read their own fanfics?’ was the question this resolves, complete with excerpts from Dirxst fanfics written by writers I admired (only one acknowledged their inclusion and loved it). Would have preferred to use my own writing. 6/10

Sleep With Me?: Geddy and Alex finds Neil’s attempt at erotic writing. 3/10

The Trees: Basically a fanfic written for kids based on The Trees. 2/10

Workin Them Angels: Another gift. Another unplanned story that went sour. After a near-death experience, Geddy meets Alex, his guardian angel. 1/10 and I’m sorry to the gal I tried to write it for.

Led Zeppelin

Dyfi Valley: Robert and Jimmy write Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp while in seclusion in a cabin together. Casual homoerotic undertones, but there doesn’t have to be if it isn’t your thing. Mostly just two guys being dudes and appreciating each other’s beauty. 9/10

Miracle Worker: AU where Jonesy is a roadie and bass tech who Robert recruits to take over his own bass duties while on the road to reduce strain on himself. Not bad for 3 hours’ work. 7/10

Quick Lovin: A 100-word drabble about Robert subtly domming Jimmy during Moby Dick. Good for brief smut. 5/10

The Traveling Wilburys

And They Never Forgot: A few words in honour of Tom Petty’s death. Published the day of. 6/10

Van Halen

Another Blonde: Dave being salty about being replaced. 8/10

I Charge By The Hour: Eddie and Dave get together after being perfectly uncomfortable with each other in the name of lending one another PA equipment. Not as awkward as it feels. 7/10

Queen

Who Wants To Live Forever?: Freddie comforts his band in his final hours. Sad as hell and I did not know a single thing about Queen when I wrote it. 4/10

Alice Cooper

The Strange Case Of Mr Vincent And Alice Cooper: Vincent Furnier is slowly possessed by the spirit of a girl named Alice Cooper, slowly corrupting his mind and driving him away from his bandmates until she can achieve world domination through him. Great beginning, lousy end. Had to watch the 1969 Rock Festival Performance too many times to write it. 6/10

Kiss

Beyond The Makeup: Paul contemplates his identity as he suits up for a show. Totally a ripoff of the opening of his book, Face The Music. 2/10

Hooligan: Ace and Paul put on each other’s makeup. 1/10

David Bowie (And Rolling Stones)

Lazarus: Written with lines from the song, this was written for the first anniversary of Bowie’s death, cause I was feeling emotions. 4/10

Miss You: David and Mick’s reunion after spending months apart. Then they realise that Charlie is in the bathroom with them. A great amount of awkward, but I still kind of like the ship. 6/10

Sweethearts: A collection of bad one-shots with David and Mick just being a couple in love. Features Saturday morning cartoons, baking cookies and a bachelor auction. 5/10

The Doors

The Neighbor Upstairs: My first and only attempt at an OC within fanfics. No one hated it, but no one really loved it. Also my first story. My first review was a notice that it had been improperly formatted. 1/10

Crossovers

The L.A. Vampires: Alice Cooper, Jimmy Page and Ozzy Osbourne gather for their yearly feasting ritual and to induct their newest member of their group, Nikki Sixx, but Nikki is missing and about to face his first bloodlust. A slightly better vampire AU, but not as well-crafted as my first. Best part is the title’s word play. 4/10

Bitch’s Brew: Tommy Lee and Steven Adler join destructive forces and create a cocktail made with all their leftover alcohol. They then make a drinking game bet where the loser has to destroy Axl’s room and stay there to face the wrath. It ends with a pretty sweet kiss. 8/10

[90simaginesandfanfics]

Cradle Broken Glass - Chapter Fifty Seven

Eddie’s POV

Eddie trudged down the hallway after he got off the lift, bracing himself for the conversation he was about to have. He knew she was pissed. He knew she was hurt. And he knew that he had caused that. He couldn’t think of why he had revealed to her that he was the only reason she had gotten the job. He knew it would come back to bite him in the ass at some point but he didn’t think he would ever tell her, much less use it to spite her. The look on her face when he had said it made him feel unworthy of living, but it didn’t stop him, much like he couldn’t control himself when he made the comment about Phil the night before. He knew he was unbearable to be around, but he couldn’t stop himself from antagonising her. 

He knew it was all his fault. Layla was perfect, always had been from the minute he met her, but he knew this would happen. He was never going to be good enough for her, and he hated himself for proving why.

The only thing he could do now was to prove to her that this wasn’t who he was. He knew it would take some convincing, but he had to. He had to stop drinking. He knew it was too much since his face was constantly puffy and he knew he was putting on some weight. He couldn’t help but get defensive though whenever she mentioned it, because he didn’t want to admit that he had a problem. He just wanted to continue making music and being with Layla but he had proved that drinking and being productive didn’t coincide.

Eddie went to open the door to the room, only to find it locked. He frowned, not understanding why he couldn’t get in. He sighed when he realised she had probably locked him out. He knocked on the door, calling out her name. No response. He continued to do so, but no one opened the door, and he didn’t hear any movement either. He decided she must have left and gone somewhere, although he had no idea where or why, and then began the trip back to the lobby.

Eddie walked up the reception where an older woman sat, checking a young couple in. He was staring into space when he heard her call for the next person in line, and made his way to the desk.

“I’m in room 507 and I was wondering if there’s anyway to get another key? My girlfriend has the one we were given and I can’t get into the room.” He explained and then mentally sighed when the woman looked at him in confusion.

“I’m sorry sir, but I’m not permitted to hand out any keys unless you have any ID on you so I can check the room booking.” She clarified, and he groaned in frustration. His wallet with his ID was in the room. He was thinking about what to do when he was interrupted.

“Did you say room 507?” A voice asked and he turned to find another woman behind the reception desk looking at him.

“Yeah?” He replied and she waved him to walk over to her. He gave the woman he was talking to a small smile and made his way over.

“I’m assuming you can help me then.” He said and the woman gave him a soft smile, before reaching behind her and grabbing something off of a desk. She extended her hand and placed a key on the counter in front of him.

“Is this a spare?” He asked and she shook her head.

“No. The woman who’s sharing the room with you checked out about an hour ago and let me know to give the key to you when you needed to get in the room. She also asked me to give you this.” She said and then placed a folded up piece of paper next to the keys on the counter. He stared at both in confusion, before muttering a quick thank you and grabbing them, making his way back to the room.

He didn’t understand what was going on. She had checked out? He assumed she had gone somewhere to calm down after their altercation but he didn’t see the need for her to check out. He walked to their room in puzzlement, even though the punching feeling in his gut was telling him exactly what was going on. He opened the door to their room, not bothering to lock it behind him as he made his way and sat on the bed. Only then did he notice that her bags which had been on the floor when he had left were now gone. A bitter taste burned in his throat as he frantically ripped open the piece of paper he was holding and read its contents, his eyes stinging as he did.

Eddie,

I’ve decided that this is done, whatever it is that we have. I’m so grateful for you for what you have done for me. Being with you has given me the confidence I never had, and I am a completely different person to the scared little girl I was when we first met. But I’m not the only one that’s changed, and I can’t be with someone who makes me feel like I’m unimportant. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t make me feel happy, but unwanted instead. You will always be the man that taught me how to love, but this isn’t healthy and you know it. I hope you sort yourself out and find someone who makes you as happy as you made me, she’s a lucky girl whoever she is. Tell Kelly I quit, and tell the boys I’m sorry. It’s over.

Layla

Eddie could barely even feel the tears that rolled heavily down his cheeks as he threw the piece of paper on the ground. It was like he was watching himself, outside of his body. None of this felt real. He struggled to breathe as he grabbed the chair next to him and flung it at the wall, denting the plaster. He felt as if he had no control over his body as he smashed every ornament in the tacky hotel room to pieces, kicking the furniture and punching the walls.

The pain in his hands and legs drove him on, making him lash out harder. He wanted the pain, he deserved every bit of it. This was all his fault. What had he done? 

He continued to trash the room as he felt two sets of arms wrap around his body and try to settle him. He thrashed his body around, feeling constricted and wanting to be let loose from what was trapping him. The arms didn’t let up and held him against a wall as he finally broke down. Eddie’s body went limp while Jeff and Stone tried to hold him up and stop him from harming himself even more, concerned as they watched him cry and hold his head in his hands. They let go of him and Eddie sunk to the floor.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!? You’ve completely fucking torn the room apart, do you know how much this is going to fucking cost you piece of shit!!?” Stone yelled and Eddie cringed at his volume, just wanting to sink into a black hole and disappear. He heard Jeff sigh. The pair stood over him for a while, waiting for some sort of response or explanation from him. He swallowed the pit of despair in his throat down.

“She’s gone.” He squeaked out, even saying it out loud making him want to jump out of the window next to him. 

“What?” Stone said in confusion and Eddie moved his hands away from his head briefly to gesture to the piece of paper near Stone’s feet. 

“Layla’s left. She’s left me.” He repeated. He could hear Stone pick up the piece of paper and waited while he and Jeff slowly read the letter, the only thing running through his mind was what he had done? Because this was his fault. She was the only thing that seemed to hold him together and he had even messed that up. 

And now she was gone.

*****

Aww my poor bb Eddie. I mean he kind of deserved it, but writing his POV makes me sad cause we all love him and know that his love for Layla is monumental. What do you think about what happened? As always, love you all xxx