#this chapter features a brief appearance by gearhead

[misslisamiray]

Yay, finally, here's the next chapter of Down With the Rickness!

In this chapter, we're going to check in with Space Beth & SumSum, AND we get to hear Rick's thoughts on Jerry's plan. Took me long enough, but Chapter 9 is here and below the cut!

Also, I've decided to start posting screencaps with the new chapters on here & with the links on my other socials, and thought this would be a good one to start with, considering where the previous chapter left off. 😁

Meanwhile, Space Beth was saying to Gearhead, “500 flurbos for these? Please tell me that’s a joke and you don’t realize how much you suck at comedy.” She glared distastefully at the set of cybernetic screwdrivers on the counter in front of her.

“Mean! And 500 is more than a fair price for these, lady.” Gearhead argued. “Take it or leave it.”

“It would be a fair price for the newest model, sure. Not these. Granted, they’re a step up from what Dad has now, but this set is not worth 500 flurbos. Yes, he’s paying me back, and no, I don’t particularly care about you trying to rip him off. But I have zero patience for your sleazy sales tactics. So either bring out the better ones, or knock half the price off these.” SB said, picking up the index and middle finger screwdrivers to inspect them more closely. Unimpressed, she tossed them back on the counter.

“Got it. No sale. Try haggling somewhere else, and…” Gearhead said crossly, grabbing the screwdrivers and starting to put them away. Then, something occurred to him.

“Wait, did you say these are for your dad?” Space Beth nodded.

“But, I only have 3 clients who buy these things, and the only one with a kid is…”

“That’s right.”

“That means that you’re?...”

“Sure am.”

“And you’re not the you that mostly just stays on Earth, taking care of donkeys, are you?”

“Horses, actually. And no, I’m not.”

Gearhead gulped audibly, realizing he’d definitely picked the wrong customer to try and swindle. Space Beth’s grin was unsettling him more by the second. She pulled a large, futuristic looking gun from its holster and raised it slightly.

“H-hold on a second! Let’s talk this over! I didn’t do anything that bad! You’re not really gonna kill me just for trying to get a few extra flurbos from you, right?!” Gearhead stammered, shaking in his boots. Beth kept her gun aimed at him for a few more seconds, then placed it on the counter, laughing.

“Nah. Mostly because this thing could use a few replacement parts, too. And I understand you’re the best person for the job. So, let’s make a deal. For 500 flurbos, and me not reporting you to your planet’s Better Business Bureau equivalent, how about you give me the parts I need, plus the better screwdrivers for Dad?”

“Deal! I’ll even do the upgrade on your gun right now!” Gearhead agreed quickly, pulling out supplies for the repair job, as well as a better set of cybernetic screwdrivers.

“That’s what I thought.” With a smug smile, Space Beth handed over the money.

“Tell Rick I said hello. Haven’t heard from him in a while again. Not since that whole ‘intervention turned birthday party turned kidnapping’ thing with the weird little dude. And, ummm, you’re not going to mention that I tried to, uhhh…” Gearhead said nervously as he started to tinker with the weapon in front of him.

“Don’t care enough about either of you for that.”

“I see. Ya know, you say that, but you’re obviously here as a favor to Rick. And you wanted to make sure he got both his money’s worth, and the best parts in my shop.” Gearhead prodded. That hit a nerve, and Space Beth was clearly flustered.

“You do realize I have a fuckton of weapons besides the one you’re fixing, right? I won’t shoot you because I need you to do that, but I can and will make you work at gunpoint if you don’t back off. Understood?” she threatened, quickly hiding her reaction to Gearhead’s words.

“Okay, okay! Message received! I’ll be done fixing this in about 20 minutes.” Gearhead agreed.

“Good. And I guess when I bring these to Dad, it won’t hurt to tell him you said hello.” Space Beth conceded. Gearhead didn’t say anything else to her, and she chose to ignore that what she heard him mutter was almost certainly, “Like father, like daughter. But I think the daughter’s even worse!”

Summer was not faring as well at the Martian cell phone store.

“Look, even if I believed these charges were mistakes on our end and not the results of a drunk dialing spree, which I don’t, it’s been almost a year since Mr. Sanchez’s service plan with us was terminated. The dispute window is 90 days Martian time, or roughly 126 Earth days. No exceptions.” a very annoyed, bright pink alien said, staring distastefully at the old, tattered bill in his hand.

“But…”

“But nothing! ‘No exceptions’ means No. Exceptions.”

“Excuse me, but do you have any idea who my grandfather is?” Summer asked cockily, hands on hips. Instead of being impressed or frightened, the alien just looked more annoyed and bored, which hadn’t seemed possible a moment before.

Rolling all five of his eyes, he answered, “Unfortunately for me, yes. I just said his name, didn’t I? And unfortunately for you, this store is one of the few places in this galaxy where that name doesn’t carry any weight.”

“But what if?...”

“NO. Look, the only reason we’re not pursuing legal action against Rick, or even trying to collect what he owes, is that everyone here, myself included, just doesn’t want to deal with his shit anymore. It’s easier to cut our losses and be done with him. Do I make myself clear?” the annoyed creature stated.

“Okay, but… Ugh. Alright. Fair enough. Grandpa won’t like it, but y’know what? That’s his problem.” Summer reluctantly agreed. Considering she was every bit as annoyed with the situation as the alien man in front of her, she couldn’t really see arguing with him further.

Back on Earth, Morty was carrying a pile of blankets roughly half his height. Some pillows and two more boxes of tissues were perched on top. He was struggling to look at something on his phone and keep from dropping the pile, which he couldn’t see over.

“I’m back, Rick. I figured this was enough to start with, plus I didn’t trust you alone any longer. You are still here, right?” he said as he walked back into the living room.

“*Cough!* Yes, Morty. You won, remember? I’m not going to try any more experiments to get rid of this stupid cold – uh, I mean alien virus that I definitely caught far away from Earth.”

“Huh? Why are you back to your dumb lie about that?” Morty was understandably confused. After dropping the new supplies onto the couch, he was able to see again, and immediately noticed Jerry was there.

“Oh. Hi, Dad. Yeah, now that makes sense.” he said wearily. Jerry ignored him, staring intently at Rick.

“Well? I explained my entire plan to you, and you haven’t said a word. What do you think, Rick?”

“You explained your ‘brilliant’ idea to Rick? The one where you’re going to magically know how to cure his mysterious alien virus after you watch an episode of Sailor Moon a few times? Oh, this is gonna be good. Yeah, Rick. What do you think about that?” Morty said with a chuckle, fully expecting Rick to start mocking Jerry relentlessly. At first, all he got for an answer was Rick gesturing for him to give him more of the blankets.

As Morty wrapped two more around him, Rick cleared his throat and finally said, “There’s definitely some flaws in your logic, Jer. A few things I’d do differently. But overall, your plan’s solid. I *COUGH!* I get what you’re trying to do.”

“Go on.” Jerry said, while the only word completely dumbfounded Morty could manage was “WHAT?”

“There’s just one thing I can’t get past, Jerry. Sure, Sailor Venus tries her best to help the other girls, and she means well and crap, but isn’t the premise of the entire episode her being terrible at it? Correct me if I’m *Sniff!* wrong, since this is literally the one thing in the universe you might know more about than me. But it is, right? Doesn’t the 90’s dub call this episode “No Thanks, Nurse Venus!” specifically for that reason? Because the others don’t want her taking care of them because she sucks at it?” Rick continued, eagerly grabbing one of the tissue boxes.

“Well, yes, but…” Jerry said hesitantly. He had a feeling he knew where Rick was going with this and he didn’t like it.

“So, if you’re trying to learn how to deal with this sickness from watching her, won’t everything you’ll learn be well, wrong?” Rick pointed out.

“I, I hadn’t thought about that.” Jerry admitted, the realization slowly washing over him.

“That’s the biggest flaw you see in this plan, Rick?! Really? And Dad, you said yourself that she was bad at taking care of the other girls – why are you acting like this is news to you?!” Morty asked, disappointed by Rick’s reaction.

Rick sshshhed him, while Jerry said, “I did know that, but I guess I hadn’t really thought about how it would affect the outcome of my plan. Everyone does get better in the end, but that’s just because they defeat the monster, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, sounds like it. *Cough!* *Cough!* There’s also the fact that, while the illness was caused by some sort of magic spell, for most of the episode, don’t they all think they’re dealing with an ordinary flu? I mean, how’s that at all *ACHOO!* relevant to us?” Rick replied.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” exasperated Morty sighed. His father and grandfather both ignored him.

“I guess it’s not. Not even a little.” Jerry said sadly, looking more and more defeated. He held onto the tape tightly but let the rest of his supplies fall to the floor.

“Okay, Rick. I’m not going to be able to help you beat this weird sci-fi sickness you have, but I can still make your day a little better. Go ahead and make fun of me. Another stupid, useless idea from stupid, useless Jerry. Let me have it.” he sighed.

“I could, but you meant well, Jer. You’re way outta your league with this thing, but you tried to help me out anyway. Even if this was never going to work – and it wasn’t - , I *COUGH!* appreciate the effort. *COUGH!* *COUGH!* Ow.” Rick answered, his voice growing hoarser.

“That’s awfully nice of you. Too nice. Either you’re making fun of me in a much more subtle way than usual, or you must really feel terrible, Rick.” Jerry commented, watching his father-in-law closely. It was hard to be sure with all the blankets wrapped around him, but he seemed to still be shivering in spite of them. His nose was red and irritated, and he looked considerably more unwell than just a short time ago.

“Dad’s actually got a point. Are you getting worse?” Morty worried, feeling Rick’s forehead again. Still a little too warm, but not alarmingly so. And there was no noticeable change from earlier.

“Morty, stop that. If you insist on fussing over me, there’s better ways to do it. For starters, I’m still cold.” Rick complained, pulling away from Morty’s hand.

“Better?” Morty asked, wrapping another two blankets around him. Rick nodded.

Then, forcing a laugh, he said, “To answer your question, Jerry, eh, maybe a little of both. Mostly the second one, though. I’ll be okay, and let me repeat again, this thing isn’t dangerous. But I *SNIFF!* guess it’s pretty obvious I’m having a bad time right now, huh?”

“Well, yeah. If this is what it just mimicking an ordinary cold does to you, I’d hate to see what happens when it moves onto something worse. Does Mimicking Disease also act as a Magnifying Disease? Like, the version of whatever it’s copying is magnified to be x amount of times worse than the real thing?” Jerry replied. Rick glared at him, at first angry over the implication, then miserable over the fact he could easily see where Jerry got that idea from.

“No, it doesn’t. And I’m done talking about this now.” Rick groaned, flopping down on the couch in his blanket cocoon.

“Right. You should get some rest, Rick. Especially since I’m certainly not going to be curing your illness today.” Jerry sighed, getting up to leave. He gathered up the notebook and writing utensils he’d dropped.

“Dad, wait. Yes, you should let Rick sleep, but now that you’ve finally realized your dumb plan is dumb, I could still use your help with some stuff.” Morty said, following Jerry as he started to leave the room.“*SIGH!* Not now, Morty. I have a lot to go think about. How could I have been so sure about something, and been so wrong?” Jerry mumbled, heading back towards his man cave. Morty followed him a few more steps, then gave up and went back to Rick.