#this blog has been VERY inactive for the moment

[snk-warriors]

Can't Stay Away

Levi Ackerman x F! Reader

Summary: After the war ended, Levi finds himself at a familiar doorstep.

Warnings: Bittersweet angst, smut, not proofread

A/N: This blog is still officially inactive, but this story is a little gift for my dear friend @antivan-dragon. It was a joy to write it for you! <3

This is wrong.

He shouldn't be here - not after everything that had happened.

How long has it been, ten years? More?

It's hard to tell when you're used to live from moment to moment. Never knowing whether the current day might be your last really messes up one's perception of time.

All Levi's sure of is that the brief time he had allowed himself with you was the happiest he's ever been - than he ever thought to be capable of.

And yet, from his very first breath, his fate was clear: To him, living had always been a fight. Whether it was in the underground for food and safety, or against titans and humans alike under the clear sky mattered very little in the great concept of things.

The only home he's ever known was on the battlefield - until he met you, at least.

And still, Levi went back to the frontlines again and again and again because it's all he's ever known, the power he's born with a burdening duty upon the weak...

...but what place does a soldier have now, in a society without war?

This is what he fought for, right? To achieve peaceful times. Avenge his fallen comrades, honor his commander and protect as many people as possible from the unnecessary suffering this cruel world eventually provided.

Protecting you, first and foremost.

Your wellbeing has always been his greatest priority, and yet at the same time Levi was the one responsible for so much misery. Back then he convinced himself it was for the better, that he was doing you a favor by removing himself from your life.

In the end, all that's left for him now is the bitter feeling of regret.

Levi was aware that you would've waited for him, no matter how long it'd take until his return...

...but he was certain that his death was inevitable - a sacrifice he'd gladly take if it'd meant ensuring you a long and fulfilled life. And even if the impossible case of his survival would occur, he'd be a different man by then.

Ultimatively, he has become exactly this: Unlike you remember him, and definetly nothing close to what you deserved.

Maybe even in different circumstances he could never live up to the expectations he had set in himself - at least when it came to you.

But he felt as if you were like pure sunlight and he was a moth, drawn to it. No, he was the moon - selfishly absorbing and covering your brightness.

So, in order to make things easier for you, he pushed you away despite his soul screaming for him to stay at your side until humanity would reduce itself to ashes.

When no words would dring through to your devoted self, he announced an engagement to Petra, efficiently shattering your heart in the process.

Nothing Levi had ever done was as hard a task.

Given time however you'd find someone worthy to give you the life he longed for so deeply but never could, at least that's what he thought...

...yet when he heard that you never married even after all this time, his rationality stands no chance against the aching of his own loneliness.

Just to look how you've been he told himself on the way, and for an overdue apology.

Your little cottage on the outskirts of Wall Rose still looks as if he never left. It always smelled of lavender and honey, and whatever you were baking at the time.

Levi switched from the wheelchair to his cane, still able to walk by himself at least for a short distance. Only a few stairs separated the two of you, and it was the longest he's ever took - not because of his disability, but rather to gather all of his courage.

Facing his enemies was a piece of cake compared to this right now.

Though it felt wrong to do so he peeked through the window, his face twitching into an almost-smile as he finally laid eyes upon you again. The inside was cleaned spotless as always, neatly yet minimalistic decorated. You on the other hand were currently preparing some pastries, contently humming to yourself.

It felt like he never left.

What about you, he wondered. Had there been others after him? What was your life like these days? He wants to know everything.

That goddamn cat was still alive as it seems, curiously pricking up it's ears as it recognized the familiar - altough mangled - face. You and him had argued a lot about letting feral animals into your home, due to Levi's concern for hygiene and especially that damn fur everywhere in the house.

One glare from the man and it hissed, jumping down from the front porch and bolting into the forrest. Shit.

Living alone and isolated from civilization was dangerous, especially for a single woman. So it was no wonder how hyper-aware you still are, immediately swinging the door open with a clocked rifle.

Oh, how much he missed that side of you. The perfect combination of cute but deadly.

"Levi..." His features immediately softened at the sound of your voice. To him that name had been reduced to a battle cry, something for his enemies to curse and his superiors yelled to wield their human weapon around.

But coming out of your mouth, he could listen to it all day even if it was just to hurl insults at him.

Instead you put your welcoming arms around him before the weapon even dropped to the ground, heartwrenching sobs echoing against the pinewoods. "God, Levi, you-you're back. You're finally back...I-I knew you'd come!"

The former Captain should be relieved, and frankly, he is - nevertheless, things shouldn't be this way.

He had left so you could live...and you simply didn't.

This wasn't fair. And it drove him insane. There was an immense fury at the pit of his stomach at the realization that his withhold was for nothing, that you had wasted both of your lifetimes through your stubbornness.

You should have found yourself a man that could give you a family, a stable life, goddamn it the whole fucking world shall you ask!

However the sheer fact that he was finally able to breathe the same air as you again overshadowed any grudge with pure gratitude.

His whole life Levi had been was a dedicated, dutiful combatant, unquestioning to his orders. Now that the war was over, there was nothing left for him to do, nowhere left to go.

This one time, he'll allow himself to be selfish.

A hand on the back of your neck pulled you to close the remaining distance between the two of you, sealing his mute promises with a longdue kiss.

Levi had kissed you before - always rough and demanding. That's how things were between you, after all: He came to your home solely to get a taste of what normalcry, being human, was like, just to disappear after having realized his mistake.

If it meant he'd stay in your life, if only feebly, that was more than enough for you.

But this kiss...it was different. Tender, savouring, unwilling to pull away even tor so much as breathing air.

When your lips finally parted, you placed another, small peck to the corner of his lips. Your hands reached for his face, cupping it on both sides as if to make sure he's really there.

For a moment he pulls back, doubting his decision.

After all, the man in front of you was a shell of his former self, old and disfigured and broken. Petra was long since dead, you'd heard about the tragic circumstance.

He never wanted to give you the impression that you were just a last resort for when everyone else had forsaken him.

Noticing his internal struggle - an amazing talent only you possessed, since his expression was as still as a statue - you clutch the fabric of his shirt, gently tugging him inside. He has to lean onto you for support, stumbling into the all-too-familiar room.

You feel calloused hands on your body, caressing every inch of your exposed skin and sliding under your clothes. "Tell me to stop" he speaks breathlessly, sternly, "And I will."

Instead you frantically shake your head as you moan into his ear, one leg wrapping around his waist as he pushed you against the wall, busying yourself with rising blood on the skin of your neck. Fuck, he's missed your scent.

"B-Bed" you manage to wring out as his hand slips under your skirt, fingertips tracing the wet spot between your legs. He was eager, intoxicated one might say, but you could clearly feel how his own legs were close to giving in.

The thrill of the moment was briefly overshadowed by the humiliation of his new reality. In the past he would've taken you anywhere in the house, would've been able to lift you up and throw you onto the mattress if you so desired.

Another jab at his conscience that he'll never be good enough for you. If only he knew this was the way you'd always wanted him: Slow, passionate, caring...

"Don't worry about me" he speaks nonchalantly, yet the determination in his glare makes you shiver. Levi dropped to his knees just like that, his hands wandering upwards each of your legs. "Let me worship you."

You half-laugh, half-whine when he sunk his teeth into the flesh of your upper thigh, remembering how much he loved leaving little marks like love-letters on your skin. Old habits die hard, even when trying to be gentle.

Without hesitating, Levi twirls his fingers around the hem of your already dripping panty, pulling it down just enough to put his mouth to work. His teasing made you a whimmering mess, taking his time tracing kisses around the area close enough to feel his breath on your clit.

"Shi-it, Levi!" you let out a scream as his tongue slid along your folds, muffling your own noises by a hand on your mouth until Levi tugs at your arms. "I need to hear you, love. It's been too long."

And so you did, begging and moaning shamelessly as Levi ate you out like a man starving, palming himself through his trousers with eyes never leaving yours.

Hearing you like this made something in him snap, and yet you tugged on his hair, tugging him away just before you'd fall apart in front of him. "Not like this" you pant heavily, head spinning from lust, "I need you. Completely."

He simply nods at the request, unable to keep his hands from you even the short way to your bedroom. Your gown fell to the floor as he watched, a low groan escaping his closed mouth at the sight.

Time sure had taken a toll on both of you, he thinks as his knuckles brushed along your cheek, diving in your features that had slowly faded in his memory over the years...

...but your eyes, those damn beautiful orbs that showcased the love you held for him, they didn't change a bit.

And their effect on him was also still the same.

Before you first met he was sure that all those hardships had turned his heart into stone, but now this yearning had become a dagger he desperately wanted to pull out, make his heart bleed in reverence.

Levi was a man that spoke through actions, however.

Your fingers intertwined when he aligned himself with your entrance, searching your face to which you gave a permissing nod. He entered you carefully, adoring every microexpression, every reaction of yours when he started at a slow pace.

Even in his current state, his skill lacked nothing from his former peak: It was as if you could feel his hands and lips were everywhere at once, hitting all of your weak spots as if your body was a map he had learned by heart.

"I love you."

Your pupils were blown wide at his declaration, those words you had already long since made peace with to never hear coming out of his mouth.

A look that could only be described as pure affection plastered on his face, kissing along your collarbone up to your ear. "I love you, Y/N" he speaks again, more firmly now and smiling sincere as never before now that this self-inflicted weight had finally been lifted from his shoulders. "Always did."

Tears dwelled in your eyes, vocal cords lost their ability to form anything else than sobs and moans as your lips found his again, smiling against his mouth.

Words were never needed when it came to the bond of you and Levi, after all.

As his thrusts became more clumsy, ragged breaths whispering sweet affirmations barely audible to your ear, burying his hips against your pelvis as he rode you through your high. He followed closely after you came undone, stiling above you without any intend to leave this sweet escape he found in your arms.

Your hands rested on his shoulder blades when he felt safe enough to collapse in front of you, his head lying on your chest as your heartbeat soothed him just like back then.

He was alive. And you were his.

"Please" you sniveled, anxiety preventing you to endulge in the afterwaves of your ebbing high, "Never leave again."

You clung to him for dear life, limbs entangled as if he was just a pleasant dream that would disappear as soon as you dared letting go.

That moment Levi made an oath to himself: No matter his insecurities, for the rest of his life he'd dedicate to become the man you see in him.

There was a lot to make up for.

"If you'll have me."

[gunilslaugh]

Hello my lovely dear readers <3 

I type this with a heavy heart. I’ve been thinking about this for over a month and I think I have to say goodbye to this blog. I can no longer write fanfiction for Xdinary Heroes. I know that this is very sad news and please believe me when I say this I haven’t taken coming to this decision lightly. 

A while ago I made a post about reconnecting with an old friend. That said old friend of mine is now my boyfriend :) He is also a very good anti-delulu pill. Ever since I fell for him it has been so hard to think about ideas to write. I could no longer view the Heroes with a romantic mindset to write for them.

Another reason I’ve come to this decision is that my boyfriend has an ex that left him with some trauma. Now I’m not going to go bringing my boyfriend’s private business onto my blog, but, so you guys can hopefully understand I will say the lyrics “You didn’t cheat, but you're still a traitor,” from Olivia Rodrigo’s song Traitor fit what happened between my boyfriend and his ex very well. So knowing about what happened between them I just don’t feel comfortable writing fanfiction about other men, in a romantic way.

I recently hit 500 followers and I just want to thank each and every single one of you for supporting me. For taking the time to read my works, like my works, reblog my works, leave comments <3 on my  works. I never thought that I would be such a big part of the Xdinary Heroes fanfiction community. I was even called the backbone of it at one point in time. I was the person “carrying” the fandom. It makes saying goodbye to it all the harder. I still think it’s crazy that so many of you actually like and enjoy my writing. 

This journey has been amazing. I just want a moment to shout out all my emoji anons: 🎶 🎻 ✨ 🦕 🦋  🍄 👑 🕷️ 🫧 🦊 🌺 🪐 🐳 🌟 🦭 

and the people of my taglist: @purplelady85 @gingerjunhan @chewednails @ezlynkisses @mon2sunjinsuver @mxlly143 @seungseung-minmin

Thanks to everyone who ever interacted with me. Shout to @amelee23 for becoming my friend while on this writing/blog journey. We don’t talk all the time, but I’m always happy when we do. 

I also want to clarify that I’m still very much a villain. In fact, I'm eagerly waiting to receive my Live and Fall album! I’ve been a villain since pre-debut, since before we had a fandom name and were calling ourselves xhoes lol. I will keep supporting them until the end of time. 

To wrap up this lengthy goodbye post. I will be keeping this blog up. I won’t be deleting any of my works, so don’t worry don’t about your favorite fics disappearing. I will just be inactive. 

I wish I could end this on a positive happy note, but I’m leaving. I’m saying goodbye. It feels bittersweet. 

Happy Death Day to my blog. This is Gunil’s Laugh saying thank you for everything. Your guys’ support and kindness has been a cherished gift to me. I will always be thankful for it and I will never forget it. For the last time, please stay happy and healthy <3 <3 <3. I wish my lovely dear readers nothing but the best :) 

~Gunil’s Laugh

[pianostarinwonderland]

Thoughts on the Lost in the Book Halloween Event [Ep 1-3]

hello 🤠🤠 guess which bitch decided to kick this blog alive after checks calendar 6+ months of inactivity.......

unfortunately, twistie wonderworld has created a not-azul character that appeals HEAVILY to my tastes 🧍‍♀️ and you may as well call me dead with how much i've thrown myself off a cliff over mr skully j graves

this is also not counting that AZUL MOTHERFUCKING ASHENGROTTO IS IN THE EVENT AND THEREFORE I GET DOUBLE WHAMMIED

SO ANYWAY. I WOULD HAVE DONE EPISODE BY EPISODE SCREAMING AND CRYING BUT MY ASS HAS BEEN TIRED AND BUSY THE PAST TWO WEEKS. BUT THIS RECENT UPDATE HAS GOTTEN ME BY THE T H R O A T SO IM UP. REVIVED. AND ABOUT TO BLOW PPL'S EARS OFF WITH MY THOUGHTS ON THE LORE, AZUL, AND SKULLY

since all 3 episodes have been long out, i'll just give my thoughts on the theories that sprung, thoughts on moments that struck me, and thoughts on the most interesting lore we get

Episode 1

it is embarrassing to admit how many times i've entered 1-4.

when i heard the voiced line, i was like ?!??!1/1!?!1 because not even rollo and fellow got that much voiced lines

and then when i saw the translation, it was joever for me

YOU CANT JUST GO "hello, hey, you who slumbers in my arms, can you hear my voice? please wake up for my sake" AND EXPECT ME TO BE NONCHALANT ABOUT IT................ IM JUST A GIRL

anyway when he said moshi and wagahai, that was when people started going oh fuck is he even from the present?? IS HE EVEN HUMAN???? and his asking what magical pens are does Not Help

all i can add further to this discussion is that i have not seen enough discussion about the fact that we don't really see his ears in the live2D............

his school lore is rly interesting too because he implies that magical stone distribution isn't equal unlike what the nrc cast have now (which is that they each have 1 stone of the same quality). so if the theories about him being a past nrc student are true, then it opens up a lot more lore about nrc's history

speaking of "skully being a past nrc student" theories, i do actually support them! for one, epel was silenced by jamil when he was about to say that they're students of night raven college. writing direction wise, i find it a very suspicious move to cut epel off just before he mentions where they go to school. but i think the strongest evidence right now is the detail that a jp tweet pointed out, in which skully also called the town in sage island the foothill town. said tweet said that night raven college students would call it the foothill town because it's how they see it from their point of view of being on a cliff. to them it's the town on the bottom of the cliff, or the foot of the hill. but for royal sword academy students let's say, since the town is just right next to them, they wouldn't call it the foothill town because it doesn't make sense in the perspective of where they're located. tho ill say, im not really sure if it Is officially called the foothill town in the twisted universe (it is called the foothill town officially in location names though). if it is officially called the foothill town in-universe, then consider this evidence null

its pretty crazy to me how deliberate the cast choice in this halloween feels because u really feel it when riddle called for a leader's meeting and it was just first years left alone. overblottees altogether is already an INSANE choice that i'll get back to later in this post, but for majority of them to be dorm and vice dorm leaders, it's p interesting. but it ends up making sense tho later on when they start doing halloween prep (and let's be real, if it was the others, barely anything would be ready)

it. left me insane. how skully gave everyone a kiss. like sure, it probably wasnt the best feeling to have your hand kissed without consent. BUT. I REALLY LIKE THAT HE DOES IT TO EVERYONE. INCLUDING US. im pretty weak to being included in general, so skully rly stole my heart here, like the kiss on the hand (WHICH IM ALREADY WEAK TO) isnt already stealing my heart. it adds sm to his character too 😭 when u account for how he's been made fun of, him talking to everyone and including even yuu is a way of him coping with the loneliness he's experienced 😭😭 he tries to be gentlemanly to everyone he meets

hinterlands!! just a side note, but when i was watching nightmare before christmas earlier, i realized how similar the hinterlands doors are to the mirrors in twst. cause u can still arrive at the hinterlands from the different towns, the doors just let u travel faster to them. the beginning of the movie also specified that nightmare before christmas was set in a time long long ago, when it was the age of the holidays. though the halloween townsfolk aren't familiar about twisted wonderland, it's a really cool thought to consider that maybe they were in the same world, it's just that they wouldnt have called the entire world as twisted wonderland, they just know of their own towns. or at the very least, in-universe, the writing of hinterlands' doors was inspired by OR PROBABLY inspired mirror travel

SKULLY LOSING A BIT OF HIS POLITE SPEECH WHEN HE MET JACK SKELLINGTON, IT'S SO CUTE 😭😭😭 but i also wanna bring it up now that having this event feature both the og character and the character twisted from them is BIG. the moment jack skellington was teased in the trailers, i knew twst was starting to bring out the big guns. i always figured ever since way back then that twst was going to let us meet the great seven, but we just don't know How. but it's Big that we even get to see the interaction between the movie character and the twisted character because it may be a possible foreshadow to what may happen once we start to tackle the historical revisionism of the great seven's' stories and how our characters will react to it. halloween 2 and glorious masquerade were also used to foreshadow book 7, so lost in the book nbc event foreshadowing something like book 8 or hell even book 9 would make sense.

HAHAHA AZUL BEING ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED WHEN JACK SKELLINGTON SCARED HIM AND EPEL EVEN JUST A LITTLE BIT YEAH GET REKT ASHENGROTTO HAHAHAHAHA KEEP DOING WHAT UR DOING PUMPKIN KING 🥰🥰🥰 SEEING AZUL SCARED SHITLESS IS SO FUNNY

Episode 2

ok episode 2. god fucking damn it this episode RUINED ME PERSONALLY

but before we get to that, i wanna talk about skully's vision of halloween because i found it very interesting

when he was talking about how halloween should be silent, dark, and a time of reflecting on repentance and atonement where you can have an aid for it (like a pumpkin or a candle), i genuinely felt my catholic upbringing hit me way harder than with rollo. i SWEAR i've had my mom tell me once or twice while i was a kid that halloween is supposed to be a holy day because of the word hallow, and how it was called hallows eve😭😭 and how it's not good to dress up in costumes of witches, monsters, and devils because it's devil worship or smth. and it's also why we never had halloween decor growing up. im pretty sure she no longer remembers that cause we're now way more lax about those things, it's just that damn, i'm just saying y'all, i would 100% believe a person in 2024 celebrates halloween similar to skully's version

maybe it's just me being stupid pilled, but i really find the situation very ironic. i know that the interjection of the night raven college boys to voice out their disagreements about skully's way of celebrating halloween is to mirror the interjections of the townspeople when they were trying to understand and even voicing out disappointments about jack's presentation of christmas. but i find the scenario very very interesting because irl, christian puritans and conservatives would scoff at the pagan traditions, call them barbaric while we're at it, and do the whole thing of inserting christianity into it. it doesn't help that pope gregory III called november 1 as a day to honor all saints and then oct 31 was called all hallows eve, and then the christians celebrated some of the samhain traditions as well. but you see here in the story how it's the night raven college students, who promote a festive and more modern halloween, calling skully barbaric for his ideas of halloween, especially for the elimination of ghosts.

some ppl might find skully's ideas boring or too traditional. for me, it's kinda just a matter of differing cultures. like, i've grown up having a mix of trick-or-treating halloweens and halloweens where i just stay indoors. and i grew up in a catholic sphere where halloween in skully's vision is much preferred. so maybe it's just me but i can't really hate his vision. at the same time, i've also been on the side of completely shutting down people who bring up arguments rooted in strict catholic tradition, simply because i looked down on them. but i got lectured (not directly) that we shouldn't immediately shut down those arguments because hey, there are points that are made, esp if worded right. so reading this conflict in episode 2 tickled my brain. in the end, though, my overall thoughts are: i think that while skully looking down on people for disagreeing with him is something for him to improve, nrc students aren't totally in the clear either. they're all fair for having their disagreements, but in twisted fashion, they're all stubborn as hell

this also made me think about the ghosts and how the vast majority of twst might perceive them. the population of twst is still vastly non-magical, and while the dead are generally celebrated, i can't help but wonder if nrc's harsh reactions to skully's bias against ghosts is due to the fact they are in a campus where ghosts are able to manifest all year round and therefore they get to interact with them. but for a good majority of the population that cannot see ghosts nor are they mages, how do they really feel about the ghosts? i find it to be food for thought. and on that topic, people also avoid ramshackle because it's haunted. though,,, from the way halloween is characterized in twst, it sounds like everyone really celebrates the ghosts coming to the living, esp because the magic is stronger everywhere. but are all cultures receptive to that..?

anyway, poor skully had to meet the jack who's been seeking out something different for halloween (esp bc movie jack was dissatisfied initially with his pumpkin king schtick) so he's had to have his ideas rejected

jamil's so kind as to comfort skully. very interesting part though from azul 👁👄👁 he's like "well if his ideas get rejected then he should just make a new proposal, don't give up" and it's just a nice lil look into his projection. like dang azul :') it's obvious that he gets up very quickly after every setback, but knowing that in his mind, he Has to get up quickly, and thus expects everyone to do the same,,, ,he never gives himself time to breathe and process, i kinda cry for him. jamil thankfully being like "yea he can do that but still, it sucks to be rejected" like yes jamilllll say it!!! on another note, this feels like a really good idea to write for an azujami fanfic :)

THE MUSIC GROUP SEGMENTS. WHY ARE AZUL AND SKULLY INTERACTING REGARDING MUSIC. TWICE.

like the first one, we get to know the music tastes of azul, jamil, riddle, and skully. azul, being the gay ass bitch he is, exposes jamil's music taste, being fast tempo music one can dance to

as a classical music girlie, i personally lost my mind when skully asked if it was waltz or tango music 🤡🤡🤡 LIKE. WAAAAHHHHH WALTZ AND TANGO MUSIC ARE ABSOLUTE BANGERS PLS I NEED PPL TO BE FAMILIAR WITH THEM AND OUGH OUGH THE THOUGHT OF DANCING A WALTZ WITH SKULLY AND—

azul u bitch telling us that u listen to a lot of genres and play jazz music for mostro lounge fucfkfufkcff LIKE THE JAZZ IS A GIVEN. BUT AZUL WDYM BY A LOT OF GENRES. DO U STILL LISTEN TO JAZZ AZUL? OR HAVE U DABBLED INTO TAYLOR SWIFT AND OLIVIA RODRIGO? ARE U SECRETLY A CHAPPELL ROAN AND CHARLI XCX GIRLIE? HAVE U LOOKED INTO INDIE ROCK BANDS? DO U ALSO LIKE CLASSICAL TOO PLEASE SAY YES

riddle, in typical fashion likes classical music!! AND SKULLY ALSO LIKES CLASSICAL MUSIC YYYYYYYYYYESSSSS FUCKKINIGFIGNFDNKGNKFD WINNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

AND JACK ASKED HIM WHAT SKULLY LIKES AND SKULLY SAID HE LIKES OPERA AND IM SO HAPPY THAT SKULLY GOT TO FANGIRL ABT JACK ALSO LIKING OPERA AND EVEN SINGING FOR THEM (and jack's singing is amazing like no cap)

but also suddenly i regret not listening to more opera in my life. im sorry puccini for ignoring u all this time. i may or may not have binged some opera music the night of the update.

BUT THE SECOND MUSIC DISCUSSION. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME TWST ISTG. WHAT ARE U DOING MAKING SKULLY GO "ooh ive been thinking of learning how to play the piano" AND AZUL GOING "i know a bit of the piano!" U CANT JUST TEASE US ONCE AGAIN ABOUT AZUL'S PIANO EXPERIENCE WHILE ALSO MAKING SKULLY WANT TO PLAY PIANO.. .. ..... ...

that aside, idia also mentions doing programming music, so like MIDI and shit. wooo sound prod idia lezgooooooo

i do love also that skully asks us if we play music!! AND AZUL BEING EXCITED IF WE DO SAY THAT YES WE CAN DO MUSIC, OUGH AZUL U PREDICTABLE MF BUT ALSO THE WAY U MOTIVATE ME

anyway, just before the second music group segment, we get a really nice conversation between skully and sebek, in which skully shares that he's afraid if everything he's known is so far from reality. and sebek's like ok u respect tradition but u also have ur ideals, u should be more firm in ur ideals. and skully's poetically thanking sebek for showing him the light, and ty sebek for contributing to the future shitshow that skully will start in episode 4

Episode 3

ah yes. the episode where i lost all my marbles

first part, we get lock, shock, and barrel popping in. jack said that they were going to help out, but they ended up causing a lot of chaos

absolutely LOVE how they rattled almost all of the students, like i wheezes at lock calling epel a shortie and epel losing it. then vil's like, epel that is a CHILD insulting u, dont stoop to their level. and then lock was like ewwwww ur eyelashes look like centipedes, and vil was like SAY WHAT BITCH and jamil's reminding him of what vil just said.

AND THEN THE FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE EVENT: LOCK GIVING JAMIL A BUG ON HIS HAND, AND JAMIL PROCEEDING TO FAINT

in true gay fashion, azul tells epel and the audience about jamil's fear of bugs

SECOND FUNNIEST MOMENT: LOCK OFFERING THE BUG TO JADE BUT JADE'S LIKE nah give it to vil and epel BUT THEN HE'S CALLED BORING AND THAT FUCKING TRIGGERS HIM???? JADE LEECH, THE MAN THAT DOESN'T USUALLY GET FAZED BY PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS OF HIM, GETTING PISSED OFF THAT HE'S CALLED BORING TO THE POINT THAT HE GOES "give me the bug. i will even make exciting reactions. just give me the bug." LIKE HOLY SHIT FKDHFAKJBFSKANFKNSAF THIS MAN HAS A COMPLEX ISTG

barrel sticking candy onto riddle's clothes and then eating it, u see riddle and trey being hella weirded out by that

idia's like, i wanna go away from this i do Not like parties, but malleus completely mishears idia and is like omg party? you want an invitation to a party too? omg me too bestie and idia's like oh my god nO

then u see shock staring at malleus and sebek's yelling at her but she's quiet.... until she hops on top of malleus

sebek's like WAKASAMA ILL TAKE THEM OUT FOR U but malleus is like don't sebek.......... I WILL TAKE THEM OUT MYSELF lightning strikes

congrats to azul, trey, leona, and idia for having the privilege to just stand there and panic at the chaos going on

jack is hella sad about the state of things

and SKULLY. SKULLY IS PISSED AT HOW MUCH OF A MESS THINGS HAVE GOTTEN. AND THEN HE'S LIKE IM GONNA TAKE CARE OF THIS

ANDDDDDDD THE MOMENT THAT MADE ME DIE IN CHAT: "Light the lanterns. Scary Night (Oct. 31)!"

guys i think skully likes halloween, im not sure tho

anyway, skully's unique magic can change people into pumpkins, and lock, shock, and barrel turn into pumpkins. once skully transforms them back, they're like do it again !! but skully's like no my UM is still developing so i cant use it more than once. but still, this impresses everyone.

SOME LORE ABOUT MAGIC: jamil says that skully's um is pretty advanced because it's appearance changing magic, which is already really hard with the aid of a transformation potion. and leona points out that while it might not work on those with high mana, it can at least catch someone off guard. i think it is also worth bringing up that transformation potions generally are banned, so this is a really interesting um that can still be perfected and developed !!

poor sebek, he gets jealous and tries to assert dominance but even malleus compliments sebek, and that pisses him off more SKDFJNSDKSDSKF

anyway sebek demands a third round of splitting into different teams so he can try to be with malleus, even when everyone was already happy enough with their teams

well sebek won finally BUT poor skully, he's now separated from jack AND HE'S CRYINGGGGG

leona is so funny, he's like oh thank GOD im not with the octavinelle bitches, and azul's like aw dont be lonely there :))) istg i love these two bitches and their bitchiness rubbing off each other, it's so yummy (and with the latest octa manga update it's made even YUMMIER)

can i just point out that for three consecutive rounds, azul's been in the music team. LIKE TWST CMON IF THIS ISN'T TEASING US ABOUT AZUL PLAYING MUSIC IN A LATER EVENT, IDK WHAT IS. PLS TWST. PLEASEEEEEEEE

too bad for leona, he reunites with his bitches later on 🥰 and by GOD the banter and the lore drops here are really yummy

well first off, we gotta get to the convo between leona and skully. skully compliments leona and stuff but leona's like ok bro u gotta focus on urself first. don't look away from ur dilemma rn that what u thought ur idol was is not how he actually is. basically, skully gotta acknowledge the disillusionment that he's experiencing

OH DEPENDING ON UR CHOICE, IF U AGREE WITH SKULLY THAT YES JACK'S PUTTING A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO THE HALLOWEEN PREP, HE'S GONNA BE LIKE "yes yes!! u see it too!!" AND THEN HE KISSES UR HAND like maaaaaaan THIRD KISS IN THE EVENT UWEEEHHHHHHHHH i feel so loved 😩😩😩

anyway you, skully, leona, jack, jade, and azul meet. we get more details about skully's way of celebrating halloween, he shares that he spends halloween alone, but jack's like nono! halloween is something we should spend with everyone! and this is probably skully's last straw because he ends up shocked and asks to leave, saying he'll help out lock, shock, and barrel

oh girl bye it's about to start

now music group's gotta compose AND WELL. FINALLY I GET CONFIRMATION ON THE COMPOSITION SKILLS OF AZUL (and jade). BOTH OF THEM DONT KNOW HOW TO COMPOSE....

leona's like lmao dont merfolk love singing or some shit, aND THIS ACTUALLY GETS AZUL PRETTY UPSET. Azul's like, hey not all merfolk like music or have an inclination to it! How prejudiced of u leona, and meanwhile jade's like well he's Not wrong idk any mer who dislikes music. dang did azul actually have a thing about not being skilled at music before???? or does he actually care more about his people than he lets on? both maybe?? that's so sweet tho

anyway they manage to shift the conversation to making fun of leona for not being good at singing HFSKJDHFSDKFHS octavinelle bitches i love u to the ends of the earth

top moments from this event definitely includes jade going "aw azul he's probably tone deaf" and azul dramatically gasping and going "jade how can u be so blunt?!?!?!?"

leona ends up singing the coconut song from his homeland (the one zazu sings to scar when he's caged) to show that yea he Can sing. AND AZUL AND JADE FOLLOWNSKNGSDNFNLKSDNFADNFNLNFSDF FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK WHY IS THIS EVENT NOT VOICED,,,.,. AZUL, JADE, AND LEONA SINGING THE COCONUT SONG TOGETHERR.

LORE DROP: the song is also rly popular in the coral sea, as in they learn it when they're really young. and leona's like well it makes sense, the sunset savannah faces the sea, so trade between us and the coral sea is very likely to happen. WORLDBUILDING MY LOVE

HAHAHHAAHHA AZUL IS LIKE "wow leona ur so good at singing, u should sing for the mostro lounge" AND LEONA'S LIKE "yeah and my payment should be u guys fighting against us in magift" AND THE WAY AZUL AND JADE WENT OK NEVERMIND HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AND AZUL'S PANICKED FACE IS SO FUNNY GET REKT AZUL LMAOOOOOOO

anyway we go to the trey, jamil, riddle, and idia group AND THIS IS A FUNNY ASS GROUP TOO

POOR IDIA GETS SCOLDED BY TREY BC THEY ASKED IDIA WHAT HE EATS AND IDIA MENTIONS HE BASICALLY EATS JUNK FOOD AND TREY'S LIKE UR NOT TAKING CARE OF UR JAW!!! UR JAW'S GONNA BE WEAK!!!!! AND UR TEETH!!!! OH MY GODDDDD

riddle mentions he eats the daily special in the cafeteria bc he can calculate the amount of nutrients that he gets. dang that's some habit to get from his mom, i really hope he's getting his fill this time :')) at least get some more protein riddle

trey was so close to being screwed bc he says he rly loves the hamburger steaks in the cafeteria and they're so good he could eat them every day. but then riddle gets mad because there is a queen of hearts rule banning hamburger steaks on tuesdays AND TREY HAS TO CLARIFY NO I DIDNT ACTUALLY EAT IT

jamil meanwhile mentions he rarely eats at the cafeteria cause he makes food for kalim anyway so might as well make his meals. honestly real and good for him.

AWWW SALLY WANTS TO MAKE FOOD FOR JACK AND JAMIL GIVES HER ADVICE well that backfired on him cause now she wants him to taste test her soup BYEEEE

AND JAMIL DOES THE SAME THING MOVIE SALLY DID WITH FINKLESTEIN he uses the spoon with holes, pretends to like it (which shocked EVERYONE AT FIRST) and then he tells the others fuck no yall i didn't taste it, it looks rancid af (and honestly smart move jamil bc there is a nonzero chance that the soup contains deadly nightshade in case sally wanted to poison dr finklestein, and if not deadly nightshade, frog's breath would be terrible to deal with)

anyway moving on to the vil, malleus, sebek, and epel group!! ok this group is so cute cause the two first years are together, and their senpais are with them!!

WE GET A LOT OF LORE HERE OMG so they used to dye cloth with plants in lilia's house because they got,,, three colored sauce,,, on the curtains. malleus offered to buy new curtains but lilia said no. me too vil and epel, idk what three colored sauce is. ik it's a reference to the three fairies BUT HOW DO U GET THREE COLORED SAUCE LILIA PLS I HOPE IT'S THREE SAUCES IN DIFFERENT COLORS NOT ONE SAUCE IN THREE COLORS

finklestein mentions oh we have witches here too u know! and vil's like omg they must be beautiful like me

if u watched nightmare before christmas before this scene, you KNOW this is the start of the punchline. unfortunately, i did not have the pleasure of watching nbc before this so i did not get to enjoy the joke BUT I DO NOW

so the witches come in and OF COURSE VIL'S FUCKING HORRIFIED THAT THEY'RE UGLY AS SHIT. AND THE CHERRY ON TOP IS SEBEK BEING LIKE "ohhh this is a punchline" HAHAHHADKABSJDBJS

BLESS THIS UPDATE BECAUSE THE LORE DROP HAS BEEN SO GOOD THIS WEEK we get broom lore in which not every broom can be used for flight. the ones in school are standardized to be good for flight. i feel like i've heard the first part in another place, probably a book or so, but the second one is new

anyway after all that prep that everyone does, skully's asking lock, shock, and barrel 😨😨😨 THEY ALSO MENTION BOSS. SO OOGIE BOOGIE EP4???? PLS?????? ESP KNOWING THAT SKULLY AND OOGIE HAVE A LOT OF SIMILARITIES TO EACH OTHER SO LIKE MMM MM MMMM M

zero is soooo cute :')) he liked leona, and he found the smell of tea on jamil rly nice too

ZERO SNIFFED THE SUS ON TREY AND JADE AHAGAGAHAAHSFDHGHFHGC RIP TO THEMMM tho lowkey treyjade won too bc hey :) trey said he never got to own a dog cause his home (a bakery) couldnt have one. jade finds dogs adorable. treyjade could 100% have a dog in their house

riddle and idia were criticizing how they approached zero LMAOOOOO AND IDIA EVEN SAID HE WATCHED VIDEOS OF APPROACHING DOGS. WELL CLEARLY THOSE VIDS WORKED W HOW ZERO RAN AWAY FROM U IDIA.

SALLY ACTUALLY GOT TO GIVE JACK THE LUNCH SHE MADE HIM 😭😭😭 im so happy for her honestly, esp cause in the movie, she snuck it to him :")) but here, she gives it. well, she still sneaks it BUT SHE DOESNT HAVE TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW AND MAKE A PULLEY SYSTEM TO HAND IT TO HIM!! bless jamil for helping her too

AZUL PLS "id love to help sally out" whats w u and ppl in love, huh, azul 🤨

oh hello 3-19 whats gonna hap-

🧍‍♀️

chat he's lost it

CHAT HE'S KINDA HOT WHEN HE LOSES IT.

SHFCJGCJGVGHVHJ SKULLY CONFIRMING JACK'S VIEWS ON HALLOWEEN AND THEN HE. PUTS JACK TO SLEEP. WITH A DRINK. BRO PUT DEADLY NIGHTSHADE IN THAT.

AND SKULLY REPEATING HIS MONOLOGUE IN THE PROLOGUE. AND HIM GOING "ahh jack-sama pls dont worry, ill protect the true halloween, even from u jack" girl everyone smelled the yandere. have u seen jp twitter/bluesky? the yandere is BAD

and it's hot on him. good god

AND THEN OH GOD WE COME IN CAUSE GRIM WANTED TO EAT JACK'S FOOD BUT WE FOUND SKULLY

AND SKULLY TURNS GRIM INTO A PUMPKIN THINKING THAT GRIM CAUGHT HIM. NO SKULLY U JUST OUTED URSELF, GRIM'S STUPID AS FUCK

oh god i got dizzy w this last part YUU HAD THE CHOICE TO SAY "why are you doing this" OR "we won't tell anyone". AND IF U CHOOSE THE SECOND OPTION, SKULLYYYYY GOES OH REALLY?? we're kindred spirits indeed we were fated to meet

girl i fell off a cliff. i drowned even. passed away.

GIRL I ATE ROCKS. WTF. I SWEAR. THE WAY SKULLY TALKS TO US FR LIKE WHAT IM BEING SWEPT OFF MY FEET HERE EVEN IF HE'S GOT SOME SCREWS LOOSE

ANDDDDDD HE TAKES US AWAY.

HAH HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA................

YALL HAVE NNNNNNNNNNO IDEA HOW INSANE I WENT ON MY IG 💀💀💀 literally i had a status that said "OMG YALL MY POOKIE KIDNAPPED ME 🥰🥰🥰" and now my irls are scared. they think i have stockholm's now.

honestly i just love the skullyuu dynamic too, like they're just two ppl who are lonely in their own ways. while skully would talk to everyone as much as possible, he rly talks to yuu.

delusionally, i like to think yuu saying i won't tell anyone is them not being scared but understanding skully too. like, they cant blame him for losing his shit

alot of ppl are also thinking omg skully overblot might happen. and i wanna yell NOOOOOOOOOO to that. on one hand, everyone said the same thing abt rollo and well, he didnt. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, SKULLY LACKS SLEEP, AND THE NARRATIVE REMINDS US TWICE ABOUT THAT. WE DONT KNOW IF HE EVEN ATE FOOD. AND HIS MAGIC IS EMPHASIZED TO BE ADVANCED. AND HE DOESNT HAVE A MAGICAL PEN AND WE DONT KNOW IF HE EVEN HAS A CRYSTAL. THE MAGIC'S GOING TO HIS BODY. AND THE WORST PART IS THAT ALL 7 OVERBLOTTERS ARE IN THE EVENT. THAT CANT BE A COINCIDENCE. FUCK'S SAKE, ONE OF THEM WORKS IN STYX. THE ONLY ARGUMENT AGAINST SKULLY NOT OVERBLOTTING IS THAT HE MIGHT NOT HAVE ENOUGH MANA FOR IT CAUSE HE HAS EPEL'S MAGIC LEVEL. BUT STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL cries

but also having all 7 overblotters may mean that twst wants to hint to us that this event could foreshadow a future arc where we meet the great seven and explore the disillusionment they may face. i'll dedicate a longer post to that though. but im excited for it

i do hope that in ep4 and 5, ppl realize that there is merit to skully's ideas of halloween. in the movie, jack skellington realizes that maybe doing christmas just doesn't suit him and sally was right. and at the end, santa gives halloween town a taste of snow. i'd like to see a merge of the ideas of nrc boys and skully's. at the same time, i hope skully realizes too that halloween can be celebrated with everyone, and in fact, it's more fun that way :'))) i want all of them to learn from each other. i want skully to be happy.

anyway i eat this event. it genuinely made me go back to playing twst as actively as i used to (never mind the fact that i put irl responsibilities to the backburner until urgent-), and im so excited for the last 2 updates 😋😋😋😋 i may also post a few more things about this event before the update on monday because god, my brainworms are terrible

[eldragon-x-moved]

🐊 krook 🔁 krook

🐊 krook

I don't remember following this Pokemon, they keep posting mushy inspirational screenshots and quotes

🐊 krook

they were previously rottenworld? I see how it is. another idiot falling into the trap of telling yourself everything will be fine and the world is worthwile. im so sick of this. soon you will all see the ugly truth

2 Notes ��🔁🤍

🍎 guildmaster-wigglytuff 🔁 kingofdarkness

🌑 kingofdarkness

Another successful day of working in Team Teal! ^_^ Funfact: I learned today that the team name was inspired by the color of the glow of the Time Gears ⚙️ My team mates were hesitant to tell me more about it though.

🍎 guildmaster-wigglytuff

That's great, Darkrai! TOOM-YAH!

5 Notes 💬🔁❤️

#guild associates #motivation #funfacts

🍃 paradise-virizion 🔁 lopunnycharm

💗 lopunnycharm

Reblog this if you support trapping Pokemon in ruins! ✨

2.575 Notes 💬🔁🤍

🤡 paradise-emolga 🔁 lake-guardian

⚙️ lake-guardian Follow

Pokemon are upset at me for including Team Charm on the list of explorers with issues. I'm sorry but you can't brush off their actions as "girlbossing". I promise you there are other admirable female dungeon treaders you can support, like Octillery or Virizion.

1.933 Notes 💬🔁🤍

#wait I need to do something funny

🍃 paradise-virizion

Having a moment, but I don't think I could ever express enough how much joining an adventure team has helped me. I was at a real lowpoint when I became a part of Team Scales and would reject everyone around me but thanks to them, I learned to open up and trust in other Pokemon again.

7 Notes 💬🔁❤️

#delete later

🌈 chasingafterhope

Sorry for my recent inactivity, I've been busy getting in touch with some old friends and moving to Air Continent. I don't know if I'm ever gonna start posting regularly again, might abandon this blog altogether, but I'm glad Pokemon appreciate it. Have a nice day!

360 Notes 💬🔁❤️

#personal #madoka tag

🪦 dustnoir 🔁 forest-clock

🏅 expedition-society-official Follow

its been really dire lately if i'm honest. legendary pokemon all over the world are turning to stone and we still have no idea who could be behind it and im very worried for the kids here. i dont know why ampharos thought it would be a good idea to let them join i just feel like everythings getting worse

🏅 expedition-society-official Follow

wrong blog

🌺 forest-clock Follow

Time traveller here! It will pass but you have to make it through The Voidlands first 👍

485 Notes 💬🔁❤️

#predictions #future posting #dark matter incident #friend tag #reblog #expedition-society-official

[verdantwyrm]

hello!! i always love your takes and you are truly a joy to read. i hope you know that and you haven't been getting any harassment for your opinions at all. <3 you are a gem of this fandom and i read your blog like the newspaper.

i just wanted to get your take if you would like to give it - today i read a thread on twitter where someone said that the reason anya's ID is in the cockpit's locker is because curly stole it to prevent her from going to hr. and i had to just sit there stunned for a solid while because people are uncritically retweeting it saying it changed their view on curly and how he's pure evil etc etc when... even aside from the fact not having an ID would not stop her, the ID positions in the game are pretty obviously (at least to me) a metaphorical device? otherwise how is curly's in utility post-crash for example. they always seemed to me like they were showing up in moments/chapters and in places where that character had a connection. the choice of which ones are/aren't visible in the weird ID corridor later in the game (curly and anya's being covered by jimmy's) certainly makes me feel like they're not to be taken at face value, they're there to represent something. curly's whole sad enabling style is inaction as well, not direct and malicious action. he fails anya but he's not like that. and even aside from all that - why would anya even go to HR? pony express is a defunct company that punishes people for HR complaints. she's not going to get anything out of that. she seems mostly just to want to get through a harrowing time of her life with as little conflict as possible.

sorry for rambling majorly lol. just wanted to see what your thoughts were. peace and love on earth

＼(≧▽≦)／ Thank you!! I'm so glad people actually like my analysis' even though I think they're very scattered and all over the place. I have been receiving some hate here and there, mostly people who haven't even bought the game for themselves and only know of it through streamers who aren't very bright to begin with. I've actually been receiving an overwhelming number of people sending in asks and giving me praise, and my inbox has never been this busy!

As for your actual question, I too saw that post and I rolled my eyes so hard they almost fell out of my head. (ーー;)

Curly doesn't take Anya's ID to stop her from reporting to HR or anyone else about being raped or harassed, he took it because of the gun incident, and how he mentions that none of this has to be on their record, he's taking her ID to ensure that doesn't happen. I don't know how people constantly miss it, but not once in the game does Curly ever doubt Anya, blame or even try to praise Jimmy. Anya does not want to create conflict, she has a lot of worries about telling Curly about the possibility that he doesn't even believe her or worse, report her to HR himself.

But your point about them being metaphorically placed is correct! I'd honestly say it could be a bit of both, but it is definitely a storytelling point and how they represent something in the current chapter they're found in. Just like how the state of their ID cards also reflects on their character in a way. Anya's is perfectly untouched, a reflection of how Jimmy feels no remorse or guilt towards what he did to her, whereas Curly's is completely destroyed.

But thank you so much for your question! And thank you for the kind words, It's all so very appreciated! ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶ That post was very dumb, and the number of likes on it is even more stupid. Bush you really did leave some kids behind...

[veenxys]

— a final goodbye.

hi guys, you’ve probably noticed that i’ve been inactive here lately and that’s for a reason.

this year has been incredible for me; i started college, studies and work are taking up almost all of my time (and i’m very thankful for that) i made new friends, went to new places, got a new tattoo... in short, so many things happened that it would be difficult to talk about them all here.

but one thing that happened was that i no longer like anime like i used to. i created this blog almost 3 years ago (and honestly i think that’s a long time) because i wanted to distract myself from the pandemic and all the bad things that were happening. this blog became my safe place for a long time and i will never forget it. it may seem silly, but being here and being with you guys helped me overcome a lot of things.

i loved absolutely every second here: every interaction, every joke, every meme, every joke about shigaraki smelling like moldy cheese, every fic, every idea shared, every ask... i loved every moment here because you were with me and it was magical.

anyways, i still have a lot of drafts that i always took a while to do but now it doesn’t make sense to finish them anymore because i don’t want to write something just to write, i want to write what i love and enjoy. that said, i’ll still be on tumblr writing about other things, but not here.

thank you for absolutely everything, i will never forget you and the moments we shared here. please take care. i love you with all my heart. <3

[glassbxttless]

L&D Baby

Nurse!Steve Harrington x f!Reader

Summary: Steve and his wife are having their first baby— and it happens to be at the hospital he works at.

Word Count: 2.3k+

Warnings: 18+ (editing to add: no sexual themes, but I am literally an adult and do not want minors interacting with my content whatsoever), marriage, pregnancy, childbirth, mentions of a stillbirth, dad!steve, labor and delivery nurse!steve, blood/blood loss, swearing— as always let me know if there’s any tags i missed!

Notes: This is posted over on my ST blog ( @hellfirestxnes ). Once all of my content is moved over here— that blog will be inactive as my main objective is to have one space for myself!

Steve is tired. His bones are aching and his eyes are sore, but it’s just another Friday really. He has about half of his shift left and he’s off again, thankfully, until Monday. Leaning on the counter at the nurses station, listening to the other nurses gossip and share stories about their kids. And he’s thinking about you at home, sitting pretty and waiting for him to come home— belly swollen with his child. Any other day, he might tuck himself away and use the phone to call and check in, but today… he couldn’t face it. The first delivery he was on that morning, he watched a new mother wish with every fiber of her being that what the doctor was telling her wasn’t true. He cleaned up that baby, took their weight and height, made out the card for the parents that would never get to hear a cry. He bundled up gray, cold skin and hoped that the couple would be able to find peace. Somewhere deep down, he wishes he wouldn’t have heard them ask how did this happen? Everything was just fine this morning. But, now here he sits. Thinking about that delivery, thinking about his wife at home. His very pregnant wife. Your pregnancy has gone by so quickly, been such a breeze. He’s been to as many appointments as he could, especially the ones you were so worried about. But there’s always a reassuring answer of your baby being strong and healthy. A perfect little Harrington. And now, Steve’s never found himself more terrified. If everything can be fine and perfect one second and terribly tragic the next, he doesn’t know where to find his peace. He hangs his head against his hands for a few moments— taking a deep breath. He’s gotta get himself straight, take a few moments. But there’s hellos being exchanged a few feet away and after what seems like a millisecond, a hand is settling on his lower back. He snaps around, prepared to give the whole I’m married spiel he’s done a thousand times, he’s met with the beautiful eyes of his adoring wife. And that softens his features, he’s visibly relaxing.

You smile at him, as he tugs you into his grip. The hug lasts longer than usual and Steve loves hugging you. You rub his back and kiss his shoulder, “you forgot your lunch.” You whisper to him quietly, the bag in your left hand adorning a beautiful band that Steve had so carefully picked out himself. At your words, Steve’s grip just tightens a bit and he kisses your head, sighing out. “Do you wanna eat together?”

“Yeah, angel. Just about to take my break. come on.” he says quietly, leading you down to the cafeteria. He pulls out your chair and you can tell something is distracting him as he sits. He’s busying himself by passing out the food, but he’s quiet and normally— he isn’t. He asks about your day, tells you about his, has told you he loves you a dozen times by now. And he knows you’ve noticed, by the way his eyes flick up to yours and back down again. “I’m okay.” he says after catching the look on your face.

“You’re not.” you reply, matter-of-factly. “What’s going on, Steve? Can talk to me.” you reach over for his hand, thumb brushing over his own gold wedding band. “You’re not acting like yourself.”

Steve sighs heavily, flipping his hand over to take yours gently. “The first birth I was on this morning was a stillbirth and I dunno… just had me thinking a lot.” He explains, his eyes dropping down to your belly across the table. You nod slightly, the hand that wasn’t entwined in his moves to your belly. You’re almost due and neither you nor Steve have ever had to worry about this. Never had it been a thought in your head.

“Just want you guys safe, is all.” Steve says softly and gives your hand a squeeze before he’s pulling it away to eat his lunch with you. And when it’s time for him to get back to work, you stand. There’s a dull ache that starts in your back and wraps around to your tummy, it lasts about 30 seconds as you clean up from lunch. You ignore it as he hugs you tightly, pressing a kiss against your forehead. “I’ll see you at home, okay? Take it easy, rest.” He reminds you, rubbing up and down your arms.

“Yeah, okay.” You acknowledge him with a nod, before you feel another aching pain. But this time it’s accompanied by a slow trickle of fluid down your thighs. And when Steve notices where your eyes are falling, all of the hair on the back of his neck stands up.

“Oh.” Is all he can manage. He’s done this a thousand and ten times over the past few years. He’s consoled laboring mothers, he’s held their hands and cleaned them up, he’s been their support system. It’s his job. But here he is, with his own wife, frozen in his tracks. Your water broke and he can tell with the uncomfortable face you’re making the contractions have started as well. “Okay, angel… let’s… let’s get you checked in.” he says softly and suddenly, you’re more than thankful for the pre-registry packet Steve made you fill out last week. He holds your hand the entire time they check you in and get you into a room. He can hear his pager going off and he’d check it, every now and again, hoping one of the other nurses could pick up his patients, since he still technically was on his shift. But when he can’t put it off any longer, he kisses your head. “Listen, I’ll be right back okay? I’m not leaving you alone for this. I’ll be really quick.” he says softly.

You just nod, munching on the ice chips he had brought you not too long ago. You still feel like you have time. The contractions aren’t that close together yet. But Steve would throw a fit if they even tried to send you home and you know it. Steve smiles nervously when he wheels a cart into another expectant parent’s room. He introduces himself and shakes her husband’s hand when he extends it to him introducing themselves as, “Caleb and Connie Bear.” He's trying to keep the small talk up and keep himself calm— and not to think of his wife four rooms down. “Is this your first?” he asks softly, administering her medication.

“Oh no.” Connie laughs softly and shakes her head, “It’s baby number seven.” She pats her belly gently. Steve nods, a little lost in his own head. A mix of thoughts of the young couple a floor up with no baby to show, his wife laboring without him, and these friendly people working on their seventh baby. “It’s not as bad as you think.” she laughs, catching Steve’s face.

Steve laughs nervously and shakes his head, “oh no. it’s not that.” He smiles softly, “my wife and I wanted around six.” He shrugs, giving her a glass of water.

“You’ve got kids?” She smiles at him and gives his forearm a gentle squeeze as he adjusts her monitors. “You’re so young.”

“Uh… not yet.” He laughs softly and pulls her blanket back up over her. “My wife’s in labor now, actually. Not very far along yet and It’s our first, might have a while to go.” He rambled off nervously.

She smiles at him, a warm and comforting smile, and so does her husband. They remember those days. And Steve does find comfort in that smile. “These things take time.” She says softly, nodding at Steve. “but she’ll know what to do and I know you’ve seen a lot of babies being born but the minute you see yours, everything’s gonna change.” And Steve knows she’s right.

“Thank you.” he says softly. “I’ll be back in to check on you in a little while.” he dims her lights a bit, sighing softly as he steps out of the room and walks over to his station to chart his notes quickly. When he looks up and sees his mother-in-law, that’s when his panic starts to set in. He’s hurrying around the counter, biting the inside of his cheek. “What are you doing here?”

“Y/N called asking me to come, Steve.” She laughs, a sound that reminds him of you. “She knows you’re busy.” She gives his arm a pat and smiles at him. “She’s getting close, from what they’ve told her.”

“And she didn’t say anything to me?” Steve frowns, leading her over to your room. His face is knotted up in confusion when he looks over you. Your feet are planted on the floor, leaning over your bed. He sighs softly, knowing he should have been in here. He walks over, standing behind you to rub circles into your lower back.

“This is how we got into this situation.” You joke, face pressed against your sheets.

The response makes Steve chuckle, rolling his eyes, “oh hush. your mother is here.” He mumbles softly, rubbing your hips gently. “Where did they say you’re at, angel?” he asks softly.

“Eight.” You mumble back, letting yourself melt into Steve’s hands. They slide around to your belly, lifting gently and trying to keep the pressure off of your back in between contractions. “What do you think it’s gonna be?” You ask him, turning your head to catch a glimpse of him. You can see the worry etched into his features. But once he sees the way your hair is sticking to your forehead and how flushed and clammy your skin is— he softens.

“A girl.” He says softly. “Gonna be just as pretty as you.” He whispers softly, helping you switch positions and lie back on the bed quietly. Steve’s head perks up as he sees one of his co-workers take a quick peek in. “What’s up?” he mouths over to her. He watches her point down to her belt, signaling to the pager Steve has forgotten.

He sighs and kisses your head once more, rubbing soothing circles onto your arm. “I’ll be right back again, okay sweetheart? Your mama’s here. gonna take care of you while I’m gone.” He says softly and squeezes your hand before he’s ducking out and heading down to the Bear’s room, pushing the cot along quietly.

Connie smiles tiredly, having opted for an epidural at the last stage of her labor. Steve’s ready at her thighs, ready to pop the baby up onto her chest. His own head is occupied with the thought of missing the birth of his own child while he welcomes another into the world. His shift would be over soon and then he’ll be sitting at your bedside, holding your hand and keeping you healthy and happy. Supporting you throughout the entire transition of your labor. Caleb rubs soothing circles on Connie’s arm as she pushes, and Steve takes note of the love in the room. How much the two of them lean on one another.

And Steve’s breath hitches in his throat when he’s reaching over her thighs, with their newborn boy laying on her stomach. He’s helping rub the baby dry, eyes flicking up to the delivering doctor when no one hears any cries for just a few more moments. And Steve whispers, panicked, but full of hope, “oh come on, kid.” No one hears him, but Connie— and her eyes are on him as Steve tries his fucking best to coax a cry out of the baby. Even after suctioning his nose and mouth. He remembers the heartbroken looks on that young couple this morning and he couldn’t take it again.

And finally there’s a sigh of relief when the little one lets out their first big wail. Steve smiles watching as Connie holds their baby to her chest, tears welling up in her eyes. She gives Steve’s hand a squeeze, her face silently thanking him. And then as he’s walking away to fill out a stats card for their baby, Steve hears his name followed by someone shouting time to push. And he’s running. He’ll check back in later, but he’s not missing his baby’s birth. You’ve got the rails of the bed in your hands, gripping tightly as you push— and he’s finding your side and brushing back your hair. “I'm here, angel.” He’s whispering through your tears. “I’m here. Look at you. You’re doing so good, mama.”

And it’s a whole new feeling when Steve hears a cry before he even sees the baby. He can see the blood on your thighs as they lift the baby up to place against your chest. The tears in your eyes are falling as you look up at Steve. And he just presses a kiss against your forehead, sniffling back his own years. “You did it, angel.” he mumbles softly.

“Congratulations.” You hear through your OB’s big smile. “It’s a boy.” And then Steve laughs, his smile pressed against your hair.

“It's a boy.” you repeat, fingers brushing against the back of your baby's fresh soft skin. The quiet grunts coming from him fill the room as he roots around trying to latch onto your breast quietly. “Joseph.” You whisper and turn to look up at Steve, remembering the perfect name the two of you had spent the last eight months curating. “Joseph Steven Harrington.” You announce to your mother quietly. And Steve feels himself tear up a bit.

Nothing has ever felt like this before in his life. And once you’re squared away, he makes sure to thank his coworkers quietly. Appreciating every second of them covering his ass tonight. They all congratulate him for the beautiful baby, passing out hugs and offering advice. And Steve soaks it in, every single word of it. Soaks it in like his life depends on it.

tags ;; @peachyproserpina @eeopxlt

[kiisuuumii]

this is an announcement that tomorrow, 12/05, the queue will run out.

i've as of late been in a general poetry slump, as far as both reading and writing go. when the queue will be up and running again has yet to be determined, although i may go back and fill it with fragments i've previously posted. until then, this blog will become much more inactive than it already has been.

i know that around this time of the year is not easy for many, so i hope that you are all doing what you can to take care of yourselves mentally, emotionally, and physically. whenever you can, please give yourself, and others, grace for the pain, heartbreak, and ugly moments we may inflict upon ourselves and upon one another; we've been given only this one life, and we are all living it for the very first time.

i'm wishing you all warmth and all the love my heart can muster <3

[ask-unpleasant]

hey chat sorry for the month of inactivity. i was unmotivated to do anything with this blog

but then i looked at some of the art on here and realized that i just lost my love for the character designs. so you know how we're gonna fix that? we're redesigning some characters bayybeeee 😈

starting with the man the myth the legend, here is UNPLEZZIE 2.0

he's probably the only one i had genuine problems with other than not being very aesthetically pleasing. he seemed too boring, his proportions were always a bit wonky, and the way he became more and more simple the more i drew him dumbed him down to just...awkward.

for this redesign, i kept all the features that made him my unpleasant. the only really signature thing i changed was his hair, sorry not sorry he had to fire his barber. i changed his scars to be far less opaque as to not clutter him up (which was the main reason i left them out most of the time), the only drawback is that i'm no longer just scribbling them in with a brush, they're actual geometry, so i cut back on the arms just for my own sake. also his tail now looks (and acts) like an actual docked tail.

next is the QSWX GVCTXMG AMXLSYX VIEPPC FIMRK GVCTXMG GLEVEGXIV SJ XLI CIEV, here is CREEPY 2.0

creepy was probably my least favorite character to draw. its head shape with the hair that always ends off screen, the 4 arms, the lack of any real way to move visible, it has always been a mess of a character. don't get me wrong, creepy is my second favorite character to write for (beaten only by neuro), i love its personality and its inflection, i just never got the chance to show that because i hated drawing it so much.

so for the redesign, i've basically reimagined it. its face hair now has an actual definitive ending, it has a more unique shape, and is just much more expunged-friendly in my opinion. it looks even more like its mom now...

next is this one, i thought she was american. here's PARANORMAL 2.0

i'm gonna be totally honest i have no idea what i was doing when designing para for the first time. that outfit was 100% subconsciously stolen from some other character i can't think of right now. it also really just didn't fit her character at all. also i dont know why i gave her boobs???? what????

anyways for the redesign she's basically a whole new design now. i wanted to play with some shape language. also, para always had a sort of inhuman quality to me, despite her personality, so i've given her inverted eyes and some animalistic features. i guess it adds irony or something, i dunno.

and finally, the moment GERIATRIC CAT you've all been waiting for, UNNERVING 2.0

in truth nervy's design is my favorite. the only gripe i had is the lack of legs, like with creepy. also i had to give her one of the same pride flag ass gradient as the rest so she'd fit in with the rest. other than all that i love her she is perfect just the way she is with minor adjustments

that's all the redesigns done!! i only did these 4 because stabby is not mine to redesign and NEURO is perfect just the way it is. feel free to give me any constructive criticism for these redesigns, i can always tweak em a bit. also the more stripy gradients wont a pattern that follows the contours of the body but rather just unmoving plaid always. i hope this lengthy yap sesh contributed something to something, maybe gave some insight into my characters.

and if you got this far i put a public discord server link in the intro post. you dont gotta ask anymore. dont tell anyone....shhh....*lovingly puts my finger on your lips* *smirks* *bolts away* *gets hit by truck* *instantly fatal*

[smellslikebot]

Hi

I've been inactive on tumblr and haven't been on social media much recently-- I'm fine, but there was a death in the family, and my grandma moved in with us pretty much immediately after that. There's just been a lot of stuff goin on and she seemingly has undiagnosed dementia, so we've had to adjust and accommodate and figure things out, and I'm trying to get my shit together (badly). oh and I turned 30 (Pained smile)

I'm in the process of queuing donation posts that were sent to me-- I apologize in advance if I miss any. I might close asks/messages for now because I don't think I can reliably keep up while being less active on here, and my blog has never had much reach, so I don't want to waste anyone's time by falsely giving the impression that I'm able to boost their campaigns very far

in general I want to get to a point where I can be of more help to others, but I really do need to get my shit together at the moment. Thank you for being patient with me

[daybreakrising]

so i've been thinking about this for the past few days and finally come to a decision-

i will be implementing a new rule regarding exclusive ships, and periods of inactivity

to preface this, i will say that i take exclusive ships very seriously, in that i don't jump to exclusives often or easily and they're usually based on very specific things. by extension, i also take the breaking of exclusives very seriously too. i don't like doing it at all.

however. in certain cases, if the partner involved in an exclusive ship goes inactive for a long period of time without any hint of returning and/or no communication, this then leaves me hanging for the development of that ship, and unable to potentially explore a similar dynamic with somebody who is active and communicating. i am a loyal person, but i have my limits - i cannot be expected to stay tied to a blog that isn't being used.

so what is this rule?

i am going to start breaking exclusives with blogs (or muses) that have been inactive for long periods of time with no communication or no sign of returning activity. and yes, this will apply even if someone is active on another blog of theirs, or is actively writing for other muses on a multi.

there will be some exceptions to this, particularly if the ship is built very specifically around one portrayal of a muse, but i won't put any guarantees in stone, just to be open about things.

what do you class as 'communication'?

talk to me. that's literally all it takes. if you've lost muse for your blog or a particular muse, that's fine - but tell me. communicate this with me. if you're just taking a short break from that muse but plan to return: great! if you genuinely can't see yourself coming back to the muse? also fine! still want to discuss and develop the ship away from the blog? i'm down for that.

i will not be angry or upset if you're dropping a muse or don't have it in you to be on that blog. i am always happy to park a ship (or ANY dynamic, for that matter) on the shelf for a while, and i can pick it back up again if needed. i find it very hard to throw things out, guys, trust me. i'll hold onto our dynamics until i'm forced to let go.

that being said, i do require continued discussion to maintain my interest in a ship. it doesn't have to be much - i'm not expecting people to send me essays or talk non-stop for hours or even every day. i just need something - random questions about their relationship, little ideas you've had for moments in their lives, even just knowing you're thinking about them on occasion is better than radio silence. so, if i'm not getting that from you and the blog/muse hasn't been used in a while.... maybe it's time to reevaluate that exclusive label.

i will, of course, communicate (or attempt to) with the involved partner if i come to this decision for our exclusive ship. and i want to stress: this is not personal. this has no bearing on how much i value our ship, the things we have developed, or you as a person and writing partner.

AND TO BE CLEAR:

this does not mean i am throwing out the ship entirely: i will still eagerly develop and write the ship if that blog(/muse) returns, we will simply no longer be exclusive for it. if activity continues, and providing i haven't developed another dynamic in the meantime, i may consider reinstating exclusives after a period of time - but i will only do this once, and i won't do it easily, which leads me onto:

i am also going to be stricter with exclusive ships as of this post.

i am usually exclusive for one of three reasons - first, that what i've built with someone is so specific to their portrayal of that muse that i cannot see me seeking out the ship with another portrayal. second, i have very specific ideas or thoughts about a "popular" ship and have found a partner whose ideas/thoughts align with mine and who i trust. third, it's a ship that involves characters no one would normally throw together and only makes sense in the world we've created for them.

as i said at the start of this post, i don't jump to exclusives easily (though it may sometimes seem that way). this just means that i'll need some more back and forth and to feel things out before i'll consider exclusives in future.

tl;dr: i'm gonna start breaking exclusives for ships involving inactive blogs or muses. sorry if this makes me a terrible person but i don't want to limit interactions with a dormant dynamic.

[esther-dot]

Hi Esther!

Would you have a tag (or tags) that I can follow for asoiaf theories and metas on your blog? I feel like I am far behind in terms of fandom speculation/theories that have come out and would really like to catch up.

Thank you <3

Sadly, I was not good about tagging when I first joined the fandom, and I’m still not consistent. 🫣 But I looked around and have found some stuff you might enjoy.

I like these posts about Dany's relationships with her nephews as being foreshadowed by her interactions with Rhaegal (Jon) and Viserion (Aegon). This post about potential foreshadowing for Dany to kill Aegon. This spec about Dany v Aegon and Jon betraying her. This one, about how killing Aegon will not be the victory she expects, and some parallels between him and Robb .

I have a tag for Dance of Dragons 2.0, but the better one to peruse is prolly sayruq's on that topic. Also, just so you know, the fandom at large seems to think "mummer's dragon" means Aegon is fake, but we tend to believe he's Elia's son and that that's about Jon. I'd recommend reading Aegor's tag for more general Aegon content.

I can't find any specific book meta about how the Starks will defeat the Others at the moment, although I linked to a meta about it happening at Winterfell in this post. If anyone has a post they like or wrote on it, please send it catofoldstone's way!

Let's see...I haven't been doing a good job keeping up with meta for the past year, but I think there's good stuff in the Stark v Tag tag which has foreshadowing for conflict between wolf and dragon and spec about Arya and/or Jon assassinating Dany. Oh, here's the tag talking about foreshadowing for Dany to face-off with Euron which I find interesting spec. I do have a few tags I’ve tried to remember to use more, Book Jonsa, R+L=J, King Bran, The Girl in Grey. This post about the Ashford Tourney Theory has links for meta on that (it's a beloved Jonsa theory), and I have a few additional things tagged for it. I also have this post with some favorite Jonsa metas. The Sansa and Lyanna tag has been fun due to @please-dot's eye for parallels.

theusurpersdog doesn't seem to be active any longer, but their posts on Dark Dany are very good. This one has links to the previous ones in their series on her. I like this one about book Jon as well.

I enjoyed howlandreads writing (also inactive), especially this post, Feminine Rebellion in ASOIAF.

Reading trinuviel's post about Dany being Azor Ahai (but that being a bad thing!) was formative for me, so even though I feel like I link that a lot, I shall again! This is the final post in the series and has links to the previous entries.

Fedonciadale is someone I thought of as our very own ASOIAF expert. She passed away a year ago, but I’d encourage you to look through her masterlist. She was a fan of LOTR and Martin is a huge fan (he said he regularly rereads it), so I was very interested in the parallels she found between the two series.

I’m not sure if you were around for this, but Istumpy did a reread project and you can find links to each of those posts in this master post. You may want to look at the summaries for each book in that post to find where the foreshadowing for a specific topic is and approach it that way.

The one meta by someone beyond our corner of the fandom that I think about often is that famous series of essays on Dany because Martin endorsed them. It was written years and years ago, and after reading Martin's words on it, it's hard to understand how Dark Dany is treated as a fringe theory or rejected as part of shipping wars.

I hope you find something you enjoy somewhere in all of that!

[klanceficatalogue]

so excited ur back!!! i always come back to here whenever i wanna reread klance fics :3 got any fluffy suggestions?

me too wtf! it's kind of funny.. ive still gotten notifs for this blog even though it's been inactive so i recognise the active usernames LMAO i see you allll - K

Mr. Snuggles by negativefouriq (1/1 | 1,656 | Teen and Up)

“You know,” Lance continues, “Coran did say this armour is supposed to hold out against chemical attacks. And venom is a chemical. If there was ever a time to test it…” “I’m going to kill him,” Hunk says, faux-casual. He turns his video on, showing how he’s smiling in the way that tells you he is actually very angry. “If this spider doesn’t poison him to death, I am going to stab him.” --- OR: Lance loves animals. He also has zero self-preservation skills, and is single-handedly responsible for 80% of the collective stress response of Team Voltron.

Affections and Deceptions by Deatmat (2/2 | 21,353 | General)

"We need to talk about the bite." He mumbles, "What about it?"  "Well, for starters, what do we do? What do we tell the others?" He gestures with his free hand at the bite. "I mean, we can't just magically make it go away."  There's a pause before he says abruptly, "What if we pretend it's real?" - - - - - [Lance and Keith are dating behind the rest of their teams backs but a run in with an alien bug that's venom causes victims to mimic infatuation brings both opportunities and issues to light.]

mortal body, timeless souls by littlecloud9 (1/1 | 3,494 | General)

“Wait!” Coran lets out a triumphant noise. “I got it! If my calculations stand corrected, then our visitors will be people we actually know! Keith, Lance, you two will be meeting your alternate selves today!” Coran says it like the idea is so mundane that it takes Keith a while to process. The moment he does, however, he feels his heart drop to his stomach. “We’re going to what?!” Lance yelps, effectively voicing out Keith’s thoughts. Or, the castle's teludav malfunctions, alternate realities are mixed, and Keith finds out that he and Lance are a lot more... close in other realities.

[afra-blueraz]

Hiya 👋 Hope you are doing well

I've gathered from your (absolutely gorgeous) art that you have a soft spot for Shuyui and Rukiyui. You've got fantastic taste, both these ships are elite and I'm glad that someone as talented as you is bringing more attention to them 😌

I'd love to know which Shuyui and Rukiyui moments are your personal favorites! Like instances where you think their love and devotion for each other shines brightest. It can be from the games or CD dramas or whatever ^_^

Keep up the fantastic work ♡

Oh my goodness thank you so much 😢💘. Hearing these messages always melt my heart and give me motivation. Thank you ❤️🌺.

Exactly you are right both Rukiyui and Shuyui are my beloved ships and I really really love these ships from the bottom of my heart.

I have a lot of favorite fluff moments for Shuyui and Rukiyui. My favorite Drama CDs are Zero, Bloody Bouquet and Daylight.

I shed tears in the Daylight series. I remember that Yui was afraid of death, but she didn't want to tell Ruki about her fears so as not to annoy him. Ruki hugs her and asks her to cry and tell about her fears because she doesn't have to keep everything to herself anymore. Ruki knows very well that Yui has endured a lot of hardships and does not want her to suffer more and even told her lie that he will continue his life after her death. He decided to follow Yui after her death. This is really beautiful 😢😭🥺💘.

Regarding the games, I feel that Shu had feelings for Yui from the first game, but was afraid to express them. Because after Reiji killed Yui, Shu decided to bring Yui back to life and continue to love Yui despite her blindness. Although this ending was one of the bad endings, it is one of my favorites. I can understand Shu's big love with Yui.

Let's not forget Dark fate. When Shu stood up to Karlheinz and told him I will not let you or anyone else hurt her. He called Yui his family and started a new life with her and Ririe. Do I need to say that Shu has repeatedly said that his life has no meaning without Yui? Yui brought back Shu's sense of vitality and happiness and taught him to love again. We all know that Shu got depressed after Edgar's death and forgot all his feelings. The only one who could return Shu's feelings was Yui.

What should I say about Rukiyui? Even though More Blood wasn't the best, I loved how Ruki called Yui his angel and decided to betray Karlheinz to prove his love to Yui.

In the season of Dark Fate. Oh my god when Ruki read Yui's letter and cried. Let me tell you, Ruki is my type and I know very well how hard it is for us INTJs to cry. People with this type cry when they are really broken. The moment Yui said I miss you, I could hear my and Ruki's heart breaking. At the same time as Ruki, I wanted to cry 💔😭.

As someone who used to be human, Ruki has forgotten his feelings, Yui is the one who can rekindle these feelings in Ruki. Even Ruki who was a spoiled and selfish nobleman. They are truly made for each other.

This moment. I was so proud of them in this moment. Ruki showed how much he cares for Yui and love her.

Thank you again for your sweet words. I know that I have been inactive for a few days. It's because I'm a little busy with my writing project. I will back very soon.

If you are interested in these ships I suggest you to follow my cousin @shuyui-nether . She is crazy for Shuyui 😄.

And my friends @its-irsaa-fyp @diabolik-art-blog . Both of them have soft sides for elder brothers ships 😁. Rukiyui , Shuyui and Carlayui are their favorites.

[1tarot1with1k1o]

Hello, I’m here, I’m alive, and I didn’t disappear.

I’m gonna be straightforward with you all. The reason why I didn’t come on the blog or post readings for the past few months is because I stopped believing in tarot.

I’ve likely subconsciously blocked myself when it comes to spiritual matters, and I haven’t been able to connect with my intuition or tarot at all.

It’s like I have experienced a backwards spiritual awakening, and I genuinely have no idea on how to get things back like they were before.

The tarot block came because I realized that whenever I got a reading, I would be told that all of these amazing opportunities would come and that things would get better, and yet they never did. If anything they keep getting worse, and that really disappointed me. Keep in mind that I was patient for years, and specific situations I got positive messages about, ended up turning out very negatively. So I got frustrated with tarot, because I felt like I was just being deceived again and again. So I wanted to take a break since I didn’t want to do something for others that even I myself didn’t believe in.

I thought I would be able to get back to it just fine, because similar moments had already happened to me sometimes in the past, and usually after a month or two at most, I would be able to pick up my cards just fine. So far, I’m still unable to grab my cards without feeling physically sick or exhausted. I can’t even watch PAC readings anymore. I can’t stand getting readings or receiving channeled messages. I physically react negatively to any kind of tarot reading. I can’t even connect with my intuition at all. I’ve currently lost all the spiritual connections I had with people I deeply cared about, and it feels very isolating at the moment.

I tried meditation, taking walks in nature, journaling, going to spiritual stores in hopes to buy a new deck, etc… . But nothing.

I’m very frustrated at the situation, which in return I think is not helping me get back to spirituality. I’m sorry for disappearing in the middle of a game, but for a while I was completely out of it.

I don’t know what else to do; so if anyone has suggestions, I’ll gladly listen to your advice.

I’m still definitely planning on sending out the readings from the last game and from the previous game, especially to those who gave me an exchange. I’m just not sure when I’ll be able to do the readings, considering that this is the situation I’m in. I’m deeply heartbroken. I’ll keep trying to do whatever I can, and hope for the best.

I’ll be inactive for the meantime. But I’ll try my best to update you every now and then. Thank you again.

[tosteur-gluteal]

Making this post because I am so incredibly tired of all this bullshit, with all the stress me and my friend went through.

TW Drama

It's been almost two months, and i've been isolated, under the pretext that I'm a harasser and that I've manipulated and bullied two former members of my server. 

My friend already clarified this on his response post on his now inactive alt, but this is not true. I have almost never talked to Zeteroxx in DMS, and when I did, it was me checking if it was okay after it felt bad after a roleplay session. On the server, i've always been respectful. All I did was reminding it and Fey to respect the rules, which they were both constantly breaking. Venting, bringing out dramas, constantly despite my warnings. I have tried to be understanding, and most of the time I would just brush off their behaviour even when it made several members uncomfortable. Venting is not allowed on this server, and while I understand they'd want a safe space to vent to, it shouldn't have been here. People from the server did want to help it by making a venting group. People were not harassing Zeteroxx.

It got upset when Theoku stated he felt uncomfortable at the idea of Zeteroxx seeing his content. That's it.

Fey did have disagreements with members of the server but again, it was always respectful, and members were always understanding of Fey's past experiences. Their disagreements with Theoku were resolved in DMS and were not heated. At all. Not in any way was it harassment. Theoku had always been trying to be respectful as well.

And again, the proshipper allegations are baseless. Just because I drew my Basil|Stranger character wearing a crop top and flirting with Sunny. They're both 17, and even then, there was nothing sexual about this. It is just a teenager wearing a crop top. What is wrong with you people. And since it is now used as Fey's main argument against us, I find it concerning. They seem to care way more about a drawing they don't like than the actual person who has been hurt. 

It is valid from Zeteroxx not to feel good after someone clearly said they don't like it, in a moment where it was in a very bad headspace and struggling. But I do condemn the constant harassment from their side.  The amount of posts they've been making on us and telling my mutuals and friends to block me is harassment. I have received asks that were clearly the results of those posts. And talking to the artists I've interacted with to "warn them about us", making a bunch of call out posts is a hate campaign. Fey, what you're doing is harassment, and it's not helping anyone. All it's doing is hurting every party involved. I am not happy about losing mutuals, potential friends. I am not happy about seeing all the hard work I've put on this blog crumble.

Fey was the one who had been horribly disrespectful, misgendering Theoku and using the wrong name despite his constant reminders; while insisting on using the right pronouns for you, which we had been doing since the beginning. This is in no way okay. 

Explicitly refusing to use the name that Theoku gave them because “it’s clearly the host talking, not Sunny” despite Theoku clearly stating it is his name everywhere including on discord is disgusting.

I invite you to look at the posts Fey had been making "exposing us", as well as Theoku's response on his alt account ( @theokusobjection ) but you can clearly see that no significant proof was formulated that would prove us guilty of such things.

They have been accusing us while misusing extremely serious and sensitive language, with again, no concrete proof. I am not happy about the image they are painting of us, it has been impacting our mental healths very badly.

And regarding this old friend again, this should've stayed a private matter. I am deeply hurt by this as well as it was a very painful and traumatic friendship fallout. I had been avoiding this person and moving on with life, and that helped me recover from all of this, yet here we are.

I stayed silent for so long to protect myself, not to feed the drama, but I cannot take this anymore.