#this blew my fucking face off and honestly. im like. im good! i am satisfied. i no longer feel compelled to draw knights

[ghoul-haunted]

me after finishing the bright sword

[wavbleu]

Jordan powell: Ransom

TW: KNIFE PLAY, FORCE FUCKING, DEGRADING, (some) BONDAGE , TORTURE, STOP READING IF YOU ARE TRAUMATIZED OR VANILLA❤️

I hovered over her unconscious body, she was sleeping so ever peacefully, how sad. I smirked and bent down to her head, i put a strand of her hair behind her ear, "Maybe if your good enough for me i wont have to mess up this stupid hot face of yours." She breathed lightly and smiled, i flinched thinking she was gonna wake up and see me.

"Your not a very heavy sleeper are you." I whispered and smiled evilly , "Welp, thank god i have this." I pulled out a towel with 'sleepy juice' in it and placed it over her mouth. She woke up in a panic with widening eyes from the fumes, she fought hard to try and get away from me.

Her kicks and muffled screams fell to a halt about a minute later, " How weak, i haven't lifted in a year i cant even lift a stick." I groaned in disgust.

I placed a letter on the nightstand to let the parents know exactly what i want, it read..

"hey sons of bitches, i got your slut faced daughter and im thinking about tying her up and using her, want her back? Give me 200,000 and if you don't give it to me by friday she will become my personal sex slave."

I picked up her limp body , she flopped around as if she was some sort of useless ragdoll. I threw her body out of the window and she landed with a loud thump, i looked down to check if she was still in one piece, she was caught inside of a bush. I carefully stepped out of the window, careful not to make much noice.

I picked up her body with was now covered in dry leaves and dirt,  I walked over to my truck feeling accomplished, Ive done it!

I threw the slut into the back seat and shut the door, i walked to my side and hopped in, i put the jingly keys in the cognition and boom! We're on a go!

The drive was silent and boring, i wish i could wake her up and hear her cute screams of absolute terror, but even that would get boring after awhile.

I drove into a deep dark forest area, home. I giggled as i finally have a new playtoy to play with, this is amazing.

I pulled up into a drive way, its my ex girlfriends fancy private home. But i killed her and her whole family after she cheated on me so i guess its mines now.

I put the car and park and got out, going to retrieve the girls body. I stood surprised when i opened the door? Shes up and conscious? She looked at me with those puppy eyes full of tears, she looked like a dear in front of headlights. I couldn't resist not busting out an "Aww".

"Thats not gonna keep you from being held hostage."

I grabbed her light body as she struggled to fight back, even though all of her limbs are tied up and restrained.

I got into my house and took her into my cold and gray basement, i threw her down in a chair then tied her down to it.

I took off the duct tape that was keeping her from making excessive noise, when i took it off she had alot to say. "Where am i? who are you? what do you want from me? Wheres my pa-" She rambled but i stopped her "Shut up you dumb fuck, your gonna talk my ears off."

"Im gonna hold you hostage for a bit until your mommy and daddy give me what i fucking want." ," Im not gonna hurt you unless you act up." I say lifting her chin up and rubbing her bottom lip, "I really don't want to mess up this beautiful face of yours."

I slowly stroked through her silky hair and smiled, "You pussy let me go my uncle is a cop!" The stupid girl spat on my face and started wiggling uncontrollably, as if that would get her out. I took a grip of her hair and yanked it back, making her head snap back in reaction. "Oh slut, i can kill your uncle too."

I took my knife out and dragged it across her bare thigh, gradually getting deeper drawing some blood. I licked the blood off her thigh seductively.

"Don't you wanna stay and have fun with me?"  I smiled as if it was first grade picture day, "If you dont like me, lets see if this guy likes me then." I slid my hand up her thigh then i inserted my hand into her lace pink shorts. She gasped as i felt her down there.

"Your wet as fuck?", her cute little face became red in embarrassment.

"You love that fact that you got kidnapped by a hot dude don't you? You dirty little whore." I say with a disgusted tone of voice. "What am i suppose to do about this huh? Fuck you?" I whisper, i pulled my fingers from out of her pants and licked the juices off, she tasted sweet.

"Uh.." She muttered and looked down, biting the skin off her lips.

"Beg for it, beg for me to fuck the shit out of you." I demand, silence. "Its fine you aren't worthy of my cock anyways." I scoff, "Fucking me is a privilege "

I walk towards the door and right before i twisted the knob to open i heard a small "Wait.." I stopped in my tracks and turned back to her strapped down body.

She began begging for me like the worthless mut she is, I walked over to her with the cheesiest smile plastered on my face. "Your lucky i like filthy whores like you."

I grabbed a fist of her hair and yanked her hair back, making her head jerk backwards in reaction. "Say ah." She opened up that slutty little mouth and i took the chance to spit in it.

I french kissed her lips while untying her exchanging spits and groans was all that was happening. Just to make sure she wouldn't pull anything like running away I knocked her out cold, I picked up her once again unconscious body and put her on the floor. I stripped her until she was ass cheek naked, perfect for me to use.

I tied her wrists behind her back and tied her knees together, i arched her back up into the doggy position. The beautiful view of her ass and dripping wet pussy made me want to dump a even bigger load in her.

I unbuckled my belt and slid off my pants, eager to use my new fuck toy. I took my belt and took a whip at her left cheek,then her right, then her left, then her right, then her left again. That time i heard a whimper come from her, shes conscious again yayy. "Aww baby your ass is already so bruised.." I rubbed her jiggly ass cheek softly, then took another whip at her right cheek.

"Ah!" she squealed in pain.

I grabbed my cock and rubbed it so ever softly against her entrance and rubbed her clit with it, she moaned softly, jerking and bouncing her hips back trying to slide it in herself. I slapped her ass making her stop, "You need to wait until im done."  I snapped.

"Please put it in.."  She begged impatiently, i couldn't resist her cute cries so I roughly slid in, not really caring how much it hurt her. I grabbed her ass and started to use her as if she was a useless flesh-light.

She was screaming in pain but i don't really know about pleasure, but i could honestly care less if it was pleasurable for her. I fucked her so hard in the cunt that she came after 10 rough strokes, "Pathetic" I would say in response.

I overstimulated her so much to a point where she was almost in tears, fucking her g-spot while rubbing her clit. "Poor babygirl, you cant stop cumming can you?" I chuckle continuing to use her carelessly.

Pounding her and hearing her scream was the highlight of this year, her pussy clenched so tight around me, it was like a warm hug. "Such a tight fucking pussy" I moaned as i continued fucking and overstimulating her.

Her legs were shaking uncontrollably and her toes couldn't uncurl itself, it was to much pleasure for her to take.

I felt myself come to a climax, I began pounding deeper, my groans and growls became louder and deeper, "Im gonna put my fucking kids in you, you dirty fucking whore." I muttered under my breath "Useless cumbucket" I pillow talked and slapped her ass turning it red.

After a few more stroke I blew a major load in her cunt, filling her up, she moaned with satisfaction on how she pleased her master.

I grabbed a fist of her hair and pulled it back, i whisped into her ear  "Your lucky i even came in her worthless cunt, she better appreciate and glorify this day for the rest of her fucking life."  I push her back down.

I pulled out and cleaned myself off and kindly, cleaned her off aswell. (Only so she can be ready for her next use)

I pulled my pants up and walked out of the basement satisfied.

___________________________________

Authors notes: this bitch got stockholm syndrome omm

[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #11- “spouted”- Liam

That was such a risky move for me but I hope it pays off. I love cheatham so so much as a person but I cant beat him at the end and I'm here to win. So telling sara ,liam,and annmarie that info was best for me to gain there trust even more. Idk who I wanna go to the end with but It doesn't matter if I cant get myself there so that's the goal. Tumblr survivor gods please be with me !

I have NEVER felt so hopeless in an org before. Literally every time there's some glimmer of hope something comes to ruin it and lo and behold! The plan to flip the game failed. I'll tell ya this much though, I'm glad Vincent decided to show his cards on tribal soon because im making it my mission to not only tell Sara/AnnMarie that he is the one who got me off Liam and onto Sara, but that he is the only one who can claim legitimate ownership of this move. I think I benefit sort of out of already rested on the low end of the game...Annmarie is the key and if I can convince her that she can trust me and not Liam/Vincent and the others..then its  a miracle.

So much drama has been happening so time for a juicy conf! I'm super ecstatic to win my first immunity this season! After Cheatham blew up his spot last episode to no avail, I'm gonna gun for him at this forthcoming tribal council, but I could similarly target Chris and get a step closer to the pool, but that would also mean I'd have to target Sara at F6 and that'd potentially ruin my end game plans since I want to be surrounded by people I believe that would take me to the end. I have a very close relationship with Vincent on the low, and I have my alliance with AnnMarie, Sara, and Austin, but I obviously can't be at the end with all these people. My most ideal scenario I suppose is gonna be flipping myself and Vincent over to vote off Sara with Cheatham & Chris, and then get me and Vincent to flip back next tribal to get rid of Chris, then I get to visit the pool, but it'd totally blow all the trust I've built with the Renegades...so much to think about this next 24hrs but I'm not letting this "getting dragged to the end" bullshit these people spouted in Touchy Subjects to define my game, I'm a much better player than that.

As hopeless as I feel, I recognize game when I do see it so you better believe Im gonna HAMM up a sob story with these guys with the hopes they get less likely to want me out. And so I have to spin each conversation I have. Vincent? Yea I think Austin is a threat. Austin? Yeah I think Vincent is a threat? Liam/Sara/AM? Awe man I feel so alone. Cheatham? Flap on butterfly

Knowledge is power in this game and I'm just over here absorbing it like a sponge for later use. Idk if Cheatham thinks he needs to save his ass or what but he's suddenly willing to fill me in on alliance chats and plans for this vote...even ones Austin hasn't told me. Cool...but you still tried idoling me out and I'm still going to come for you. As we now see, timing is everything in this game. Gotta just slither through the grass for a while and strike when the time is right. I see three sets of 'duos' in this game and there's no reason they shouldn't be split in the next three rounds...starting with Vincent/Liam.....hopefully....

It appears that we have a case of poor timing. I admire the move that was made, however, the timing was just terrible. By Vincent doing what he did, he allowed a hint of exposure to be had on his part and now the very thing we labeled Austin he has become. The supposed plan is to get him out. I got no clue how Liam feels but Sara and AnnMarie were for it so I figure why not. This game's always changing and hey anyone but me is a good motto to live by!

(LATER)

Howdy! So there's the plan to blindside Vincent BUT I pretty much am trying to save face and say Austin or Sara to Vincent and Liam who stopped talking. Its interesting to me because from Sara and AnnMarie's perspective I'd probably do Austin and then save Vincent for F6, thus ensuring a safety- which is why I pray they dont do it!

(LATER)

Moving forward, I hope that AnnMarie is uber willing to work with me, I decided to be honest about having her name but zero interest in voting her- to be fair I have yet to do so! Cheatham now loves me which is nice and I suspect Austin might be interested in taking me more seriously. Liam I just am talking to and Sara I've tried rekindling but I ultimately plan go vote and take whoever will help me win the most so stay tuned

(LATER)

If today's my last day, I want to leave feeling satisfied and right now I know Im in a meh spot but what I predicted would happen at the start of merge happened and I've done what I can to survive- thats all I can really ask to do

I feel its either me or vincent going tonight. I hope I made the right connections to keep me but ya never know. If they was smart I'd be going bc let's be honest I'm a huge threat to win the game

oh no final 7 it's my unlucky number, see you in ponderosa :wave: this is my 6th time making final 7 out of every org i've played, and i've only made it to final 6 twice. but this time i'm actually going to make it to f6! To me, there are two threats standing between me and the end. Sara, and Austin. I've heard from Liam that Austin wants me out, so he probably realized that I know he'd crush me at the end. Or Liam lied to me to try and make me scramble more, I'm keeping that in mind. I think Sara wants to go to the end with AnnMarie, and Liam knows that sticking with her is a terrible idea, considering he has brought up voting Sara to me. There's no way he sees that he'd lose going with Sara and not flip. So I think it's possible that we can get the votes on Sara. Liam threw out the name, Cheatham and Chris seem to be good with it, so we'd have the votes. However, if Austin hears of this, then if he is voting me, then him telling Sara and getting her/AM to vote me is very possible. Could they get a majority?I don't know, but it's stupid to risk it when I can get the majority without his vote. And he betrayed me last round so then I can say an eye for an eye. At this point the biggest threat to me is Austin voting me out, but Sara could do that too and is probably more easily able to. I hope I'm making the right move here.

I finally made up my mind & honestly just to change up this game and to (hopefully) get into the pool @ F5 I've decided I'm gonna go with vinnie and flip to Chris/Cheatham and hope it doesn't bite me in the ass in the very foreseeable future. It's such a risk but I need Vincent to stay in this game & they're wanting to take him out which just isn't on the cards for me, and since it's impossible for anybody to be in the pool yet I don't have to worry about them doing anything to prevent this vote from going smoothly, so all in all this move is gonna be so defining for my game & I can't wait to see the chaos unfold! The road to end may not be easier this way but I hope it destroys all the shit spouted bout me in touchy subjects!

Well the idol didn’t go as planned. I fucking told myself to use it on Kyle because i knew vincent would flip. Vincent for some reason thinks that he can convince me that it was chris... oh wait no it’s austin.... oh no it’s chris.... AND THEN back to austin. I’ve told Vincent everything that he wants to hear but i know him and liam are a F2 and they are not gonna take me far. I somehow convinced Sara that everything was Vincent’s idea and he tried to blame it on me. Then convince Liam and Vincent to vote Sara. Anything they tell me I tell Sara to make SURE that she votes out vincent. And Ann Marie will vote with whatever Sara is down for (i’m sorry AM i love you but it’s true) ANYWAYS. my plan is to get vincent out this week. Then next week, convince Liam that he has to make a big move or no one will vote for him in the end. So hopefully he will come with us. Luckily, He is burning his own bridge with Sara by literally TELLING HER that he is voting for her. Hopefully next week. Austin, Chris, Liam, and I can take out Sara and AM. I don’t think I can use the idol at that point but my list ALSO just so happens to be Sara and AM. So we will see how this goes! Hopefully I make it!

5 votes Vincent, 2 votes Sara.

[meanwhileinoz]

People Share The Grossest Things That Have Ever Happened To Them During Sex That’ll Make You Barf

Let’s face it. Everybody love sex. The experience of sex is distinct and truly one of its own kind. Honestly, life would be so boring without it. However, even though sex is as great as it can get, it does “come” with some situations that can sometimes get awkward and very unpleasant. Here are some of the stories from Reddit that people have shared.

CAUTION: THIS IS HIGHLY NSFW.

#1 Reading this by fineblushlane will make you want to think TWICE before randomly giving head to someone you don’t know.

So a few years ago I had brought a new girl back to my apartment after being out drinking all evening. We were too drunk to make the beast with two backs so we passed out until morning.

When we awoke we started kissing and canoodling and I decided to go down on her. This is one of my favorite things and generally will do it as long as it takes to make a girl orgasm…

Anyway, I head down south and pull down her panties to see the hairiest bush i’ve ever seen in my life. Not only is it hairy but the hair is very long and also messy looking, kind of bedraggled. Like a homeless guys beard or an abandoned birds nest.

Slightly less enthused but still determined I plunged in face-first and started getting busy. The taste of this beaver, if possible, was worse than it looked. It was fetid and bitter and to make matters worse I had numerous pubic hairs caught in my throat which were tickling me and making me cough.

I decided to pull back for a second to regain my composure. I thought if I pulled open her lady-bits I might be able to have a better angle of attack on her clit. I opened up her pussy to a terrible sight. There were multiple lumps of what looked like cottage cheese dotted around her pussy lips and clit.Each lump ranged from a few millimeters in width to half a centimeter in size. It looked like some sort of fungus was growing there.

Needless to say I was fucking revolted and started gagging. I knew that despite my love of pussy I could not go down on her again without puking my guts up. I mumbled some excuse about a headache and not feeling good and fled to the bathroom, whereupon I spent ten minutes washing my mouth out and brushing my teeth.

Even now I shudder when I think back upon “cottage cheese pussy girl”.

Edit: A friend just pointed out to me that the girl from my story is now the Lehman Bros of spank bank material. Perhaps if you ever have a boner and want to lose it sharpishly you can think of cottage cheese?

#2 This story by SisterNamedJan took the famous phrase “Giving someone the taste of their own medicine” to a whole new level.

  He pulled it out to come on my face, I was unprepared and snorted his semen up my nose. We started making out and I sneezed his semen onto his own face.

Probably grosser for him than for me, but not by much.

  #3 Aaaaaa667’s girl is definitely a keeper

  I had recently found a new girlfriend. A cute, blonde girl with lots of curves in all the right places. We had been together for a little while (this was back when I was a Jr. in college and she was a freshman) when we went to this huge party. We both ended up getting totally trashed and wound up back at my place. Needless to say I was waaay to drunk to get any bidnass done that night. The next morning we woke up and started to get it on. For some reason, Im always really randy after a night of heavy drinking. Anyway…midway through the sex, we are doing it doggy style with her on all 4 at the edge of the bed and me standing behind her on the floor. I am hammering away like a rabbid jackrabbit when, all of a sudden, i get that sour food, extra saliva feeling in my mouth. I knew what was coming but it was too late. As the puke surged up my esophagus, I clenched my hands over my mouth in a death grip, but to no avail. I spun around and tried to aim for my waste bin….but it was no use. I ended up projectile vomiting in about a 3/4 circle. I managed to go from her right side, across that wall, across the wall behind me (and the bookcase that was there), all over the waste bin, and i over spun and went passed the waste bin and got it on my floor and the bed on her left side. Luckily, only some puke flak got on her back….

She’s a great girl though, that was 3 years ago and we are still together…

  #4 This one by kidmonsters almost made me puke.

  I was in a band in college and we played a show this one weekend. I was pretty smashed after drinking for free all night, and this surprisingly cute chick saunters up and started with the whole, “oh my god, you like write songs and stuff?” Despite the fact that I am usually a bit shy in situations like this, she had her arm around me and is doing all the work. “Fuck it, let’s do this,” I think to myself. While she is mid-sentence, I grabbed her hand and started walking her out the door.

We headed back to her apartment, and things started to heat up. We were on her bed, ripping off eachother’s clothes. Suddenly, in one swift move, she pounced me, knocked me onto my back, jumped on top of me, spun around and started sucking me off, 69 style. I was totally into it, and started reciprocating. Only a few moments pass before I felt a tap on my forehead. My face was fully between her legs, yet there was this tap tap tap on my forehead. Every couple of seconds, tap tap tap. This tapping continued and started to take me out of the moment. I pried my face from between her legs to get a better view of what was going on. To my horror, I witnessed, dangling from her asshole, a fucking tape worm, bouncing like a fettuccine noodle with every excited movement she made. I was totally disgusted, but kind of in shock, and she had no idea what is going on, just gobbling away down there. Before I knew it, I had thrown her off of me and I was stringing together a long series of “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” as I put on my pants and ran out the door.

  So, the boy and I like some backdoor fun from time to time. We talk about it more than we do it because it’s tiresome to get ready and clean up after… usually worth it though ;). One Saturday afternoon, the boy is performing some world class cuminonumbulus when I feel a pressure at my nether orifice. I soon realised he was using some beads on me. We had some filthy and very very satisfying sex, then I went to the bathroom to clean up without removing the beads.

I’m so glad I did that.

I sat on the toilet to get the beads out.

I’m so glad I did that.

Those beads were solidly embedded in a great big turd.

I just stared at it dumbly for a moment before the smell hit me.

  #6 That has got to hurt. _NetWorK_ hope its ok now.

I had this happen to me too, got home from working a night shift 8pm to 8am went at it with the wife then noticed a bit of blood, figured oh she started her period got off went to the washroom to clean up then noticed blood on the bathroom floor figured I must of have not wiped the underside, my stomach churned when I saw that my frenulum (banjo string) was now in two pieces. This is when the pain starts…

Had to call my friend who worked close to my house get him to get out of work 30 minutes early to drive me to the hospital. Here’s the main content of our conversation.

“Hey John, it’s Mike can you drive me to the hospital? I think I broke it.” “Broke what?” “IT man” “Oh shit I’ll be right over”

The trip to the hospital was another story within itself, ended up having a to have it packed with surgical skin graph (they are special bandages that are meant to promote skin repairs) and not use it for 5 days… I waited 3 and now it’s all messed up it can pop out whenever it wants and where it’s suppose to stop it just keeps rolling back… I really should have waited to extra 2 days 🙁

#7 That accelerated quickly. Darzel’s experience is more of a lesson.

Girl beneath me, rolls me over onto my back – in the process we roll off the bed and we land on the floor, me on the bottom and her still straddling me. Her leg went straight through a big glass of water. Blood everywhere. She had lacerated her leg straight to the bone in a clean cut: I could see her muscle. Within ten minutes of our initial playing around there were 6 firemen and 3 policemen in the room (she was mental and shouted down the phone that I had a gun so they would come sooner). I was high and drunk and so her roomie took control. Paralysed by shock and weed, I had to hide while they took her in the ambulance as she was THAT crazy that I was expecting her to call rape.

She required 62 stiches, 40 on the muscle covering her shin.

This is the singular most traumatic experience of my life

  #8 Love is in the air, is it not mads-8?

Sixty-Nine. She came. She farted. My hair blew in it’s fetid breeze.

  #9 When you are really determined, you do what apatton19 did.

A girl I had been dating for awhile climbed on me for 69. As she scooted back, I saw something white, realized too late that it was a clump of toilet paper, and got it in my mouth. Pretty nasty, but I spit it out and kept going.

  #10 Oh my, you don’t see that every day now do you? By amaacct.

I work in an emergency room. One time we had a patient who had a colostomy (for those who don’t know, this is a surgically placed hole in the abdomen where shit comes out of after the colon is rerouted away from the ass)

Anyway, some girl comes in once with an infection in her stoma (abdominal shithole). Turns out it was gonorrhea. Her husband had been cheating on her, picked it up and had been fucking her in her stoma

  #11 Parallel universe version of ‘don’t forget to pull out’ by hong_kong_phooey

  Having sex with my wife, and then noticing that something didn’t feel quite right, she still had a tampon in from 4 days prior…and i had to help pull it out….

  #12 Tellme_areyoufree ‘s poor roommate will never think about this the same way again.

Freshman year of college, I met this guy and brought him back to my dorm (I’m also a guy). He seemed nice and everything, and he was cute, and we started to fuck around. Eventually he decided he wanted to bottom (i.e. get fucked), and so we started having intercourse…

I started to smell the distinct smell of fecal matter very soon. I thought “whatever, I guess you should expect a little smell when having anal sex.” I continued, and the smell continued to get worse.

Eventually, we finish, and I pull out – only to see a stream of shit spew out of his ass. It was everywhere. I mean, fucking everywhere. It was explosive diarrhea-type shit, on my bed, on me, on the wall even.

… and then my roomate walked in.

I found out later that the dude had a severe bowel problem of some kind, and really shouldn’t have bottomed. My ex-roomate is still a friend of mine, and I still have to assure him that that’s not what gay sex generally looks like.

#13 Quite not what Pict was expecting..

Sucking a chicks nipple in the dark. She was loving it. All of a sudden there is liquid.. Lactating.. sick. So keep going, she seems to be loving it.

Lights come on, dun dun dunnn, I had been sucking the pus out of a boil.

  #14 This story by TI-83 doesn’t have a happy ending.

I remember this story happening to an acquaintance a few years ago.. So said acquaintance meets up with a few friends and they roadtrip for a night of drinking and debauchery in Canadia. The group ends up at a strip club and the protagonist of the story ends up picking up one of the strippers by the nights end. For some unknown reason, this guy thought it was a good idea to go down on the stripper before they do the nasty. They all drive home the next day and all is good. The day after driving back, the guy wakes up in the morning and can’t open his eyes and proceeds to freak out. Paramedics are called. Turns out that the stripper he had gone down on had crabs. The crabs had gotten into his eyelashes and surrounding areas. Literally his eyes were crusted shut from the various liquids his body expelled (blood, plasma, etc.) as a result of the crabs feeding off his lifeblood. Horrible stuff.

  #15 Pay heed to what Sobe86 says at the end.

I was going out with a girl, and one night we got drunk and had sex without protection. She wasn’t on the pill, so she had to go to the pharmacy and get a morning-after type thing.

So a few days later, we were fooling around in the dark. I fingered her a bit, went down on her. I noticed it tasted a little weirder than normal, but didn’t say anything. She repaid me in similar fashion. Afterwards I go to the bathroom, and turn the light on. My whole face and arms are covered in blood. I look like a vampire after a feeding frenzy. Initially I thought it was a cut on my face or something, but I couldn’t find anything wrong. Also, the blood was not like any blood I’d seen before, like it was really thick and gooey. So I go back to the bedroom, turn the light on, and her entire lower regions are bathed in this syrupy horrible red gunk. It’s all over the bed sheets, and all down the side of her legs.

She understandably freaks out. We call emergency services etc. At first we thought I cut her down there with my fingernails or something. But it turns out when a girl uses emergency contraception, it can wreak havoc with her menstrual cycle. And I spent 5 minutes lapping up her period blood. We never spoke of it again. Remember kids: if she isnt on the pill, use a fucking condom.

  #16 I-330‘s guy will never keep a pet cat.

Last summer my husband and I were living with roommates who had a cat. We were drinking and started getting hot and heavy, he stripped down and jumped on the bed, said something about it being wet and jumped back up. One of us had left our bedroom door cracked and the cat had gotten stuck in the room, and pooped all over our bed. Worse is that apparently this cat was sick with worms. My poor husband was covered in kitty diarrhea, blood and worms.

#17 What emorrow64 shares is more than just a bad experience.

Goin down on a guy can be like being locked in the trunk of a car with old cheese. WASH YOUR BALLS! And it wouldn’t hurt to trim a lil. The grossest sexual encounter I’ve had was a guy who sweat so profusely it was dripping on me, then he flipped his sweaty ass around into my face to attempt what I can only assume was a 69 position but was more like bein force fed a butt sandwich and I could see the sweat glistening on his ass/ball hair, that, and the cheez smell coming from his balls made my eyes water and I threw him off me and ran to the shower. 30 minutes of soap and hot water and I still didn’t feel clean.

  #18 An all-time classic story by rivalthecreator but just as unpleasant at the same time.

Steve and his girlfriend Samantha went off to college in August. She went to Florida State, he went to Penn. So, she decides to fly to PA to visit him. He was really happy to see her so he decided to give her some oral action.

He had done this numerous times before and he always enjoyed doing it…but for some reason, this time, she smelled really horrible, and she tasted even worse. He didn’t want to offend her though because he hadn’t seen her in months…so he put a Jolly Rancher in his mouth to cover it up, even though it didn’t do much to help.

In the course of eating her out, he accidentally pushed the candy inside of her… and stuck a finger in to grab it out. He took it out, and put it back into his mouth and bit it. Only…it wasn’t the Jolly Rancher.

It was a nodule of gonorrhea.

As in, the blister-like structure that gonorrhea makes filled with diseased pus was the size of a fucking Jolly Rancher and the poor guy BIT it. I guess it was really dark in the room. He freaked out and started vomiting all over the place when it exploded in his mouth…

He demanded to know what was going on, turns out she had cheated on him at a club like, the first week of college, and fucked some random guy and the stupid bitch had no clue what was wrong with her. She noticed a strange smell though.

So now, Steve is freaking out that he now has gonorrhea of the mouth and God knows what else.

#19 The description by Criscoxl is actually gross, but the thing as a whole is very cute!

So this one time I’m having sex with my girlfriend right, and it was all good and sexy so we finish up and everything seems cool.

Then about 9 months later a fucking little human being comes out of her pussy! I mean just like pops out and I saw that shit with my own eyes!

The little fucker is still living with us.

http://ift.tt/2fytvHN