#this became half a trauma story half him being a simp for max

[oofkemal]

kemal my baby kemal my darling kemal my ragtime pallllll~ how are things going with his dad? do you think there's a chance kem may try to get out of the trailer for good anytime soon, or is he still locked in with father dearest? regardless, how is he feeling about the current makeup of his life? he's got a lot of good things going for him now after a seriously rough patch, so is he feeling excited about his life somewhat? i would like to know his thoughts :>

ok only bc u asked so nicely xx

soo as of rn, he's...... unofficially living with but basically living with max <3 n trip by default ig jshbs <3 like i feel he is there most nights but he kinda doesn't feel comfortable fully ' moving out ' just bc he does wanna still keep tabs on his dad ? so even if he spends most of his time with max, he does still have his stuff with his dad and he will still go there every so often to just make sure his dad isn't dead / in trouble ? there are still occasions where he will go pick him up from the station or carry his drunk ass home...

like he does wanna ditch the whole situation with his dad but the main issue kem has is still wanting to have a relationship with him and kinda hoping that ' this time's the last time ' and having that mentality that they can move on from whatever shitty time that was kem's childhood and adolescence, and that his dad will sort himself out. he rly just ...... wants a dad : ) but he is sick of it and wants to bail and not care about it anymore but kem really does see his dad as his responsibility and if anything happens to him it's his fault and he should have been a better son. he also really hates his mom for leaving bc it's another reason why he doesn't think he can leave :) so he's kinda a bit trapped in that sense bc he really feels like...... if he tries and hopes then he's disappointed n if he doesn't then he's a shit person who deserves the life he has x

it's not like every interaction he has with his dad gets violent, and tbh i feel like the physical side of abuse certainly slowed down once kem got taller than his dad and did those summers fixing ppls roofs or whatever ppl do in the 90s, like i feel by 18 he was def a Big guy, it's kinda a reason why ppl r unsettled by him ?? big friendly scary giant. and so if his dad was trying to hurt him physically then it wasn't impossible to stop him bc he wasn't this meek little kid anymore

but obviously there's still a lot of trauma that comes from his dad so even being with him, silent or otherwise, just being in his presence makes kem feel like shit ! he's uncomfortable, tense, scared, fed up, like...... and i think bc he has become so comfortable and familiar with max too, he has sorta found a place where it feels like home bc he feels so good w max and it's the complete opposite kind of living situation than what he has at 'home'.

i think max has helped him realise what he wants in the way he feels. like he wants a home to be a safe space and warm n loving, the way it shud be & he's never rly had a home in that sense other than what he's experiencing with max so ... i think he'd..... definitely give up his dad and all that drama to ensure he could keep what he has now if that makes sense... but he is holding on to that idea that he can have both <3

so yeeee i think he's excited !! lmao i know he is <3 like he is in love w maxine sinclair hello ????????? how cud he not. but ya ! i think that... he has mixed feels when it comes to his dad, i think he ....... wud rather die than introduce max to him so ? i think he's slowly coming to terms with just completely cutting off that part of his life bc deep down he knows his dad ain't shit : ) like max's love has shown him self love ???? bc he'd have never ever ever expected to deserve to feel this way or have anyone feel it about him ?? he's so not used to it and so he's like... huh... maybe i can have nice things xx