#this bad boy literally looks like it's held together by hot glue

[shrews-things]

What is it about budapesti buszok that makes them shake uncontrollably and nearly fall apart even on nice smooth roads

[yuzukult]

i’m bad too 18 || kdy & reader

title: i’m bad too - drabble series pairing: kim doyoung x reader genre: angst, fluff, eventual smut, goodboy!doyoung, nerdy!dy (basically he’s a dork) & badgirl!reader, hitman!au, oc-isn’t-a-hitman-but-she-could-be!au, word count: 1.8k warnings: none for this chapter a/n: just two more chapters left to the end !! :D taglist: @wownajaemin​​​​ @crescent-iak​​​​ @ncttboo​​​​ @byunbaekby​​​​​ @jinfizz​​ @doyoungyoung​​ @ahgayeah0305​​ @doyobun​​ @sexualitaeyong​ @mrkleelvr​​ @m1ss-foodi3​​ @hcwurld​​ ← previous chapter || next chapter →​​

Doyoung’s favorite drink is caramel coffee.

He doesn’t like it hot—you recall him mentioning, he prefers it iced, and he finishes it so fast that the cubes don’t melt and condensation doesn’t drip off the sides of the plastic cup.

So you shouldn’t be surprised that he’s at this very café. Especially since it is his spot, but it also shouldn’t be news to you when you’ve come here everyday for the past two weeks in hopes of running into him.

You wonder how he’s been doing. It’s been months since you’ve last seen him; forever ago since you saw him with that girl Karina, and you’re curious if he thinks about you as often as you think about him. He’s on your mind daily, sometimes by the hour depending on what you’re doing, and he feels like a drug you can’t quite quit (despite the shortage of time you’ve done fine without him).

And you admit willingly that your feelings for him come rushing back the moment you see that pretty smile dressed upon his lips when he laughs from his chest at the video his friend shows on his phone.

But you continue to sit in the corner of the shop, face behind your device as if you’re immersed in the technology when you’ve got your eyes on him the entire time.

Instagram doesn’t do justice. You never know what he’s really up to, you learn, because his feed only shows the happy pictures he poses for. But his stories—you stay for that. There’s some nights you’d catch him posting something with a scenery, a little heartfelt description written along the horizon, and it gives you a glimpse of how he’s vaguely feeling. Maybe they’re for you, well, you were hoping they were, but for a guy who isn’t the greatest in the romance department, he’s very artistic, so it wouldn’t be surprising if it weren’t for you.

Maybe it was for Karina.

Okay, there might be a slight chance that you were bitter about that chick. She hung out with Doyoung often, from what you speculate, possibly involved in the same friend group, having mutuals together (which, already is how she’s so different from you). She roughly reminds you of that emotion that runs through your veins when you first saw Doyoung talking to Joy; that clenched jaw, tightened fist, and a deep swallow to push down all your anger. Joy was just a friend, and you eventually learned that without having to go the hard route, but Karina… didn’t give you any reason to believe her friendly motives. But Doyoung isn’t yours, you have to remind yourself, and because he isn’t, there’s no need to get upset.

For one, the times you followed (don’t judge, you missed him but didn’t want to approach him if he wasn’t ready) him, Karina always stuck to Doyoung like glue. She was practically joined by the hip; batting her pretty long lashes, cheeks brushed with that coral pink blush like she’s all embarrassed because sweet boy Doyoung accidentally touched the back of her hand, and whenever she got the chance, she’d hold onto his arm tightly, pretending that she couldn’t catch her balance in those Ultraboost sneakers that were basically socks on a sole with no support.

“Ugh, you always do this,” one of his friends says, loud enough that you could hear from where you’re sitting. “How do you manage to beat me every time?”

“I learned the tricks,” Doyoung retorts, voice stable but his face all smug. “Doesn’t look like you did though.”

The other guy rolls his eyes before tossing his phone onto the table. “Forget that dumb game. I’m actually curious about something,” he begins, leaning over with his forearms pressed against the surface. There’s a mischievous smile that tugs on the ends of his mouth, and you rest back in your seat in curiosity when his tone changes. “You and Karina. What are the two of you?”

You nearly snap the pen you’d been fiddling in your hand.

Fucking Karina. Again. This bitch just keeps being brought up, doesn’t she?

Doyoung shifts in his seat, hands with his phone dropping onto his lap. A brow quirks, narrowing a strange gaze at his friend. “Why are you asking?”

“Mmm, heard there’s rumors going around about Karina liking you.”

“And,” Doyoung takes a sip of his iced coffee. “Why’s that matter?”

The friend clicks his tongue, groaning that Doyoung isn’t picking up the not-so-subtle hints. “Because. Have you seen her? Or are you just blind. She’s smokin’ hot like… literally any guy would want to get with her. And you too, which is kinda crazy—”

“—is it impossible to believe that someone attractive can like me?”

“I mean, no offense Doyoung, you don’t exactly look like the type that would sweep those types of girls off their feet. You spent most of the time indoors! Watching movies, playing games, maybe sometimes you go out to clubs and parties but barely and it’s with our geeky friends. Even I can come to terms that I’m a geek. Jocks or bad boys are what she would be into.”

Doyoung sighs. “Where are you going with this?”

“You should date her. Since, you know, you have that chance.”

He shrugs, bending the straw of his drink like he’s occupied with something else that’s going on in his mind. He’s quieter than usual, especially around a friend, and it’s left you pondering what’s got him so tied up. But then, you hear it.

“I’m waiting for someone.”

His guy scoffs in belief. “You’re waiting for someone. Who? That chick you were having friends with benefits with like a year ago? Dude, she was also out of your league. Rode a motorcycle, didn’t talk to anyone, hot, and somehow you got her attention. But dude, she’s been gone for a while now.”

Doyoung purses his lips. “Told her to come to me whenever she’s ready. Karina and I don’t really have something like… that. Not worth dropping the chances of her coming back and seeing me with Karina.”

“She’s got you that bad?”

A soft smile pulls on his lips, and he nods confidently. “Yeah, she does.”

When Doyoung and his friend pack up their bags to leave, he halts in his tracks. “Actually, you head out first. I’ll meet you later tonight, I won’t be going to the pre-game.”

The latter stares at Doyoung suspiciously. “Really? What’s up with you? Thought you said you were tagging along.”

“Yeah but… I gotta do something real quick. I’ll meet up with you.”

Strange, you think to yourself, because Doyoung seemed like he was going to leave too, until that very last second. Then, you notice something. When his friend leaves through those double doors, he turns and looks directly at you.

At you. Like he sees you.

You’re not a ghost, but you’re pretty good at camouflaging yourself with a crowd. You’re not the prettiest nor the ugliest, so being average has an advantage in this field, but Doyoung isn’t like normal people. He sees you, and even though you’re in a black baseball cap with casual clothes to match, he still can spot you in a sea of people.

“You’re here,” he says, his tone between a question and a statement. Part of you expects him to be angry, fuming with rage because you’re here instead of asking him to meet up. “You’re… actually here.”

“I’m surprised you found me,” you retort, standing up from your seat and gathering up your belongings. “I thought I was good at blending with people.”

“I’m in love with you, you expect me to not see the girl I’m head over heels for?”

You pause.

Bag not even slung over your shoulder, your heart does the complete opposite of your motions and races. He what?

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” Doyoung straightens his posture, trying his best to read the expression on your face. “Why… Why haven’t you called or reached out? Were you not ready until now?”

“I thought… you had a girlfriend,” you admitted, and truthfully, you’re not sure how Doyoung manages to get you to spill out your insecurities so easily. His eyes widened, and before he could say anything else, you interrupt his train of thought. “But that was months ago. It’s fine. I trained, and I’m back in the field, and I wanted to see how you were doing, that's all.”

“But you didn’t want to call me?”

You clear your throat, drifting your gaze elsewhere. “Like I said before. Thought you had a girlfriend. I don’t want to interfere with anything in your life that could be normal.”

He has a finger on your chin, directing your attention back to him. Your heart skips a beat this time, air sucked out of your lungs from his stare, and you swallow. “I waited for you, though. If you’re ready to come back, please come back. I have never dated anyone since I left your place, and I don’t intend to either. I made a promise and I’m keeping it.”

You hated reporting here.

There’s something ominous about this warehouse; it’s not just the people who occupy it, but it’s the building itself. Outside, it looks like an abandoned stone mill. Worn down walls, windows shattered, and located in a dangerous neighborhood, secluded from all the up-and-coming buildings that are being constructed a couple blocks down. The cars that came for drop off didn’t come here either, so it made the building even more mysterious and seemingly empty.

But the moment you stepped in the front doors—it’s like a factory.

A factory that manufactured everything from guns, grenades, to bombs, and so on. Everything that you wore on missions, everything you held between your fingertips, and everything you utilized in the field were all made here.

The headquarters.

Upon entering, you had to go through security. Guns are to be logged in, identities are checked through the system, quick but yet thorough pat down, and phones are chipped until you leave the premises. Needless to say, they were careful and even someone like you with so much skill and worthiness cannot go undetected here.

“Boss is asking for you.” A gorgeous girl says, clipboard in her arms. She’s got her hair tied in a low bun, glasses on with thick frames, and a pencil skirt to pair with her white blouse.

“I asked for boss, but yeah, that.”

She nods, bowing her head just slightly and you’re wondering how she even got in this field. Shy, quiet, and fragile, she seems, and you wonder if she knows what’s actually happening around here. “Please follow me.”

She takes you down a narrow hallway, far from where the other workers were posted, and takes you through these metal doors that looked too heavy for her to push, but the guards standing by the sides do it for her instead.

“Head on in. He’s waiting.”

“Right,” you gesture her a head nod in thanks.

Taeyong is seated at his desk, two additional guards standing on either side of the wood, and he’s fidgeting with the pen in his hand. “Lookie here. Our star player. Ten’s little sister. What do I owe the honor?”

“I want out.”

[kaaytea]

S/O does their makeup

⤷Includes: Akaashi, Kuroo, Bokuto, Sugawara

A/N: wow look I did self insert stuff for once, absolutely wild. I had a blast writing this so enjoy :))

----------------------------------------------------------

Akaashi

The both of you were lying on the couch in the living room, he was lying on top of you while you scrolled through Instagram

You landed on a post with a very pretty, shimmery smoky eye

Inspiration has struck ✨

"Kaashi?"

"hmm?"

"can I do your makeup?"

"..."

"ok"

Tired Akaashi = he really doesn't care as long as he can relax

He gets up off of you and waits for you to return with yo makeup bag

He mayhaps have dozed off for a bit while you were doing his eyebrows

You were just being very gentle with him and he was so relaxed he just-🥺🥺 sleepy boy

You had to wake him up to do his eyeshadow tho and you felt so bad bc he looked so peaceful

He hated the eyeliner

It felt weird and you poked his eye a few times bc he kept moving

3/10 he doesn't recommend not a fun experience

You on the other hand were loving the look rn tho

He had a shimmery black smoky eye w/ some sliver glitter on the lid, and winged liner

Originally you wanted to do lashes too but decided not to for his safety and comfort

"Akaashi I need you to open your mouth slightly"

".....huh?"

"I'm putting your lipstick on"

"ok"

He's so compliant, he knows how happy this is making you so he just rolls with it

When you finish he opens his eyes and looks at you and you just 😳😳

If you thought he was beautiful before he is absolutely gorgeous now

"can I see?"

" OH... uh yeah sure"

You give him a hand held mirror and....he actually really likes how he looks? Never really thought makeup was for him but.... apparently it is bc wOw his brows look good

Has a big smile when he looks back at you

" I really like it"

" I- you don't hate it? Really?"

" of course not, my eyebrows look cool :))"

Only Akaashi Keiji would describe his perfect eyebrows as "cool"

Kuroo

Ha ha a curious kitty

You had just finished organizing your makeup, you had been putting off going through all of it and getting rid of expired/things you didn't use but you finally did it and now everything is v v clean and organized

Little did you know this curious cat had been watching you the whole time from your bed

Literally didn't even know he was there till he spoke to you

"Could you do my makeup?"

"what? You really want me to put makeup on you?"

"yeah, I'm intrigued by it. I wanna know how it feels"

You just kinda shrug, grab a few products and go to sit in front of him on the bed

Doesn't fidget at all, he stays completely still throughout the entire process

Asks alot of questions tho

"what's this do?"

" That's an eyelash curler"

" It looks like a torture device"

At first you were just gonna put some eyeliner on him and give him a fun lip color, but then you added a bit of pink eyeshadow and some gold graphic liner...and some red liner on his lower lash line

Yeah you kinda went wild

He was snooping around in the lil bag you had your single shadows in when you heard him gasp

" is this heart shaped glitter??!!"

"uuh yeah"

"PUT IT ON ME!!"

He's very excited about the glitter 😌😌

You put it high up on his cheek bones/ under his eyes

By some miracle you were able to get lashes on him

He was very happy with how it turned out

" damn I look really hot"

"wait this isn't fair, how come you're like 10x more sexy now :("

"Some people are just born with it babe"

Deff sends a photo to Bokuto and acts like he's trying to slide into his dms

"Hey there big boy, heard you're good at spiking balls, maybe you could hit some other things for me ;))"

"HDJDBSKSJ!!!"

"WAIT WHY DO YOU ACTUALLY LOOK GOOD?? I DONT LIKE THIS!!!"

";))"

Bokuto

He's the one who asked you

He was really bored and just kinda flopped on your bed, it was one of those stormy days where you couldn't go out

He spotted your makeup bag on top of the dresser

Came up to you in the kitchen holding it like 🥺👉👈

"Can you make me pretty like you?"

"you're already pretty Bo"

"But I want to be as pretty as you.."

"....ok sit down"

"🥰🥰"

Will nOt stop moving, he is vErY fidgety

Opens almost every product you have and smells it

Was very excited to find out liquid lipstick smelt like cupcakes

You let him choose what colors he wanted bc of how excited he seemed

Was that a mistake?....maybe but the way his face lit up looking at all the colors was worth it

"YEs!"

"so you want blue eyeshadow with lime green eyeliner and purple lipstick?"

He's just a big puppy let him be 🥺🥺

You had to redo his eyeliner like 3 times bc he kept fidgeting

Liked looking at all the different brushes you had, he also ranked them by their softness level

Picked up one of your blending brushes and booped you on the nose with it

Explaining fake lashes to him is so difficult, he looks at you like you're explaining rocket science

"you just add a bit of glue on here, and then put the lash on your eye. They just make your lashes look really long and full"

"......eye wigs"

"I- no"

He was very excited when you finished

Immediately took on the persona of a rich lady

Was using one of the tote bags you use to carry your groceries as a "purse" and grabbed the small bitchy sunglasses you own

He looked really good

"ok ok, Bo thats enough"

"Sorry what? I don't speak poor person"

Sugawara

Sunday afternoon cuddles with Suga are the best

You guys were both lounging curled up together doing your own things

He was reading a book Ennoshita recommend and you were messing around on your phone

You ended up getting bored so you put your phone down to snuggle closer to him

You just kinda watched him read for a bit, admiring his features

He let out a small sigh and put his book down

"What are you thinking about?"

"Just how pretty you are"

"Well I think you're gorgeous"

He's such a sweetheart 🥺

You guys just kinda enjoy the silence for a bit as he pressed light kisses down your jaw

"Would you let me do your makeup?"

"mmm I don't know..."

"....I'll give you kisses"

"...."

"deal 👀"

Tells you not to do anything too crazy, which is fine with you

You opt for the classic cat eye and red lip 😌

He stays still for the most part but makes you take breaks when doing the eyeliner bc it feels funky

He has a habit of humming so he hums lil songs for you while you work 🥺

Had a blAst playing with your beauty blender, it was like a lil stress ball

He looks v v good with highlighter on, he's just got really nice cheek bones

Sorry babe but fake lashes aren't happening, he will physically resist if you attempt to put them on him

He liked the lipstick tho, it felt nice

You took a picture of him before handing him a mirror new phone background

Was kinda meh about wearing makeup but complimented your skills

He loves encouraging you and praising your skills bro

"you're really good at doing makeup y/n"

"well I'd hope so, I've been doing it for a long time"

"....."

"Can I get my kisses now"

"Of course you can baby"

The kisses were worth the wait :))

[bluefirewrites]

Heeeey, i hope you're feeling better after your presentation🥺 is it still headcanon time? bc i kinda have a sad one lol so in episode 6 when Luke blows the candle and his parents look around kind of sensing his presence what if thats a thing Luke used to do when he was little, he was so exited that he would blow the candles before emily and Mitch could start singing happy birthday, literally every year since he was 2

Oh boi. 

Oh boi.

We getting into it. 

I see it. I can totally see it. 

Luke has always been impatient. Since Day 1. 

Emily and Mitch know this. Oh, how they know this. 

Luke’s the kind of kid who waves around the macaroni artwork to show his mom, not even bothering to wait for the glue to dry. Who drinks freshly made hot chocolate, and he pants and complains about how it burns his tongue. Who jumps into the pool before Emily has the chance to put sunscreen on him. 

(‘Face first, full charge’ ammiright?)

So yeah, it was expected that he would be a bit too excited to wait for his parents to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ and just blow out the candles. 

Even in the presence of other kids, at his birthday parties, he would smile cheekily at his friends who would open their mouths to sing (or try to beat him in blowing out the candles- which never happens) but then get quiet once they notice smoke already trailing from the dead candle.

He thinks it’s so funny.  

Those years, Emily and Mitch found it endearing and adorable. 

Later years, beginning right around 12 years old, it started getting less endearing. 

This was when they would try to snap some pictures for the grandparents and they kept having to scold Luke for already blowing out the candles while Mitch fiddled with the Kodak. 

And then Luke, getting into his teen years, didn’t want to put on the birthday hat his parents always had him wear, and cheeky morphed into snarky, and Emily considered buying him the trick candles that won’t blow out because this was getting ridiculous. 

It got worse when Luke began his music journey.

Arguments broke out often between him and his mom over guitar and the band and how he wasn’t trying hard enough in school.

It came to the point when they had more bad days than good, and on the good days with no arguments, they were both still stewing over the last one. 

His 15th birthday was ugly. 

Luke had been trying to weasel out of birthday cake tradition that year, was almost out the door to head to Bobby’s when Mitch caught him and made him go back into the kitchen. 

He landed on this chair in an angry thud, arms crossed and frowning at the homemade cake. 

Emily eyed him from across the table, lighter in hand, “Are you going to be difficult today? Of all days?” 

No response. Then the candle was lit. 

Emily didn’t have the chance to take her finger off the lighter when everything got blown out and Luke shoved the cake away from him before storming out of the house.   

His 17th birthday was one for the books. Especially when it was the last birthday they ever spent with him. 

Or didn’t. 

Because he had a gig that same night. 

Luke came home late afterwards, attempting to sneak in quietly.

But he knew he was busted once he saw the kitchen light left on and his parents were seated at the dining room table. Cake in the center. 

They didn’t light the candles that year. 

All Emily and Mitch remembered about that night was yelling and arguing, slamming doors, and crying. 

They had no idea that they wouldn’t have the chance to make up for it the following year. 

The first birthday since Luke died was the hardest. 

Because he only died a few months prior. The pain was still fresh. 

They didn’t start having cake until some years down the line. 

Emily would always bake Luke’s favorite, chocolate cake, even though it was not a flavor that neither she nor Mitch particularly liked. 

But they already broke tradition before, they were not going to do it again. 

They would sit down, every year, the house always quiet- they knew better than to plan anything else, to go anywhere else during this time of year. They’d bring out the cake, they’d light the candle, hold each other’s hands, and blow it out together.  

They figured it was some sort of catharsis every time they blow it out, as if to make a wish, as if to wish that wherever their son was that he was content and at peace. 

But then this year, when he would have been about the same age they were when he died, something strange happened. 

It started off like any other year since Luke’s passing, with Emily struggling to bring the cake onto the table, Mitch’s hands reaching over to steady her. They lit the candle, but right before they could make their wish- 

It went out. 

Emily raised her head, trying to feel for the breeze that may be was carried over by the air conditioning. But no. She was stunned. Mitch shared the same look of cautious surprise. 

This never happened before. 

But the timing, always too quick to be blown out- it had them hoping- 

Could it be?

That day, there was something different in the air. 

When Mitch and Emily held hands and blew out the relit candle, they sworn they felt a gentle blowing of air from beside them. They sworn they felt a presence there in the house that hadn’t been there before. 

For the first time, Luke was there. It felt like he was there. 

But little did they know, that he was there, in his seat at the table, wishing he had the chance to wear the birthday hat one more time, to grin into the camera for Nana, to have been there to blow out the candles on his 17th-

Just wishing he had left things differently...

[knochengeier]

Drawfee Classpects???

I set a while ago to spitefully Classpect the Drawfee crew because they rightfully made fun of homestuck.

PREFACE:

I should state clearly that this is not meant as an attack on any members of Drawfee, and that I will be leaving out the majority of the negative aspects of the analysis. It should also be mentioned that this is more of an analysis of their online personas rather than who they actually are.

I did mention that I would leave out most negative things, but some things are core to a persons persona something they consciously and willingly put out into the world; again, this is not what I actually think these individuals are like, and is not a reflection of how I feel about them as a person. Things like "Julia doesn't know media" and "Jacob is the bad boy of Drawfee" that are explicitly stated as part of the persona is free game.

So, without further ado

——————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————

Caldwell, Prospitian Muse of Breath:

A Muse is the embodiment of and the inspiration to others through their aspect. The Muse class is one in a pair of incredibly powerful and rare classes known as the “master classes.”

Breath is the aspect of individuality, drive, optimism, and most importantly freedom.

As the Muse of Breath Caldwell inspires others to be themselves and be free, motivating creativity and driving others to pursue their dreams. Caldwells unbound optimism and resolve is a force to be reckoned with, in fact he so embodies freedom and enthusiastic ambition that he left Drawfee to pursue his own creative endeavors on the west coast.

Caldwell commands not only the forces of Skaia, but Skaia itself; his inspiring aura would be strong enough to end the war between Prospit and Derse in an instant, and even those that opposed him would find it hard to stay committed to their cause for long.

Caldwell would have the power to: a. control the wind, weather, and possibly even lightning by freeing the electrons from their atoms (though that might be an active ability) b. bypass any restraints, physical or otherwise, by any means necessary which c. Also means that he can most likely teleport at will and d. Probably turn incorporeal.

——————————————————————————————————

Nathan, Prospitian Sylph of Hope:

A Sylph is a person who passively invites the healing and generation with their aspect.

Hope is the aspect of possibility, inspiration, and positivity.

As the Sylph of Hope Nathan is the light that helps others with his positivity and inspiration, not only does he help people but he inspires them to create their own hope. A Sylph of Hope would be able to see the potential for positivity in everything, and seek to be as amiable as possible, in turn helping others do the same.

Drawfee is as much a show about success as it is failure, it’s something that people can watch and say “These people make mistakes just like me” and they inspire hope for those down on their art.

One of the longest held of these humanizing aspects of the show is the apology at the end of every episode, which only became a thing after Nathan disliked a drawing so much that he was compelled to apologize, and it stuck. As much as that drawing might have sucked it inspired others who weren’t happy with their art to keep at it, and we are reminded of that after every episode.

Nathan is one of the first members of the crew to assure somebody that even if the piece didn’t come out the way they wanted, that it still looks good and is impressive nonetheless.

Nathan is the glue that holds this session together; with the presence of a prince, a bard, and a lord this session should have been doomed since the start, but Nathan’s pure awe inspiring hope promoted the best in everybody.

Nathan’s powers would include: a. A buff akin to bardic inspiration that could affect people to fight harder b. Healing abilities c. Probably an energy beam d. Manifestations of other’s hopes and dreams in the form of glowy specters like a JoJo stand.

——————————————————————————————————

Julia, Dersite Lord of Void:

A Lord is the embodiment and commander of their aspect, not through inspiration but rather assimilation and domination.

Void is the aspect of confusion, secrets, and doubt.

As the Lord of Void Julia is the sovereign of secrets; unpredictable, unknowable, and the proprietor of unknown knowledge Julia uses her runes and studied knowledge to summon hideous abominations creatures from the void.

Void players have an inextricable link to the furthest ring; the furthest ring is the incomprehensible and unnavigable space that exists outside of the universe. The furthest ring acts as an impassable border between universes inhabited by massive eldritch gods called the “Horrorterrors.”

Julia would not only have the ability to traverse the furthest ring and visit other universes, but she would also have the ability to bend the horrorterrors to her will. She would be able to switch in and out of grimdark mode at will, and most likely would not be adversely effected.

Julias powers would most likely include: a. The creation and manipulation of black holes and the general desperation of physical matter b. The ability to turn invisible and probably teleport c. The ability to erase peoples memories and mute their senses, and d. The ability to speak, read, and write the language of the horrorterrors.

——————————————————————————————————

Jacob, Prospitian Prince of Rage:

A Prince is a destroyer of and with their aspect.

Rage is the aspect of fate, defiance, and rejection.

As the Prince of Rage Jacob is the destroyer of and through failure, negativity, and rejection. Jacob forged his own path, he destroyed his fate as a writer and destroyed the limits and expectations for what an artist could be, and he got a job at college humor despite the odds.

Jacob is also, or was, a punk; a subculture that is predicated on the destruction of barriers through rebellion.

Even though he can use Rage for good he often doesn’t; he is well known for stirring discourse, his particular brand of Rage elicits anger and hatred thanks to his flaming hot takes.

He is also known for his infinite petty anger at dumb things ex. “see animals shouldn’t live under ground,” “lizards shouldn’t have to lick their eyes,” “muppet is short for man-puppet,” “mayo is food lube,” and “if god’s ever been mad at anything I’ve said, he hasn’t done shit about it.”

Jacob’s abilities would be: a. Becoming physically stronger the angrier he gets, or somebody gets at him b. The ability to create and control lightning c. The ability to pacify or remove the anger from somebody d. The ability to make people fear him or e. turn against their own allies.

——————————————————————————————————

Karina, Dersite Knight of Heart:

A Knight is a person who precisely uses and exploits their aspect as a weapon or a tool.

Heart is the aspect of emotion, passion, and identity.

As a Knight of Heart Karina uses feelings as a weapon. Not only does Karina use her powers to literally use the emotions of her characters (see Schmidt and Nando) as a tool to effect others, but she also has deep passions like Neopets, Digimon, and Yugioh that she uses as a weapon to torment the Drawfee crew.

Karina is passionate about her identity, never missing a chance to mention any of her favorite things like Beelzemon, Seto Kaiba, catboys, or her Texan roots (Bucky’s).

Karina would have honed impulses, knowing when and where to act and how to do (or draw) something challenging. She also has the ability to hype up her friends, strengthening their resolve.

Karina’s abilities would be: a. She can create a powerful glowing weapon by materializing her soul b. She could find out the weaknesses, emotions, and insecurities of enemies c. She could split into multiple versions of herself to create a veritable army of clones, and d. Enter a soul form where she is basically impervious to most attacks.

——————————————————————————————————

David, Dersite Maid of Time:

A Maid is a person who heals and regenerates their aspect or with their aspect.

Time is the aspect of machines, music, and endings.

As a Maid of Time David heals time; more often then not time is not an abstract thing, and the responsibility of time players is to keep the timelines in order and fix paradoxes.

David, as the chief editor for Drawfee is responsible for taking whatever dumb shit the crew gives them and edit it to make the video palatable.

David is also interested in theater (see “Artists Draw Posters for Musicals (They've Never Seen)” one of the only episodes in which they appear) which is related to time through music.

An interesting thing to note about Time is that it is often equated with heat, fire, and lava, something David has experience with, revealed in the episode “Drawing What We're Thankful For In 2019” in which Nathan depicts David with an overheating external drive (something that is also mechanical).

David could: a. Essentially freeze time, making moments last for hours b. Heal paradoxes in the time line c. Fix events so they go favorably, or d. Speed up time to heal a wound

——————————————————————————————————

Tristan, Prospitian Mage of Light:

A Mage is a person who understands their aspect by experiencing it.

Light is the aspect of fortune, luck, relevance, and knowledge.

As a Mage of Light Tristan has an innate and personal understanding of lore; Tristan, through his interactions with pop culture, knows a lot about said things.

Mages often experience their aspect in a negative way, seen in the frequent possession of Tristan by the Lore Librarian, and his burden of knowledge about absurd and obscure facts about nerd media.

Tristan is one of the only people on the crew who understands how the game works and what the final boss’s deal is, but you know he’s going to be cryptic and vague about it because it’s funny. Tristan would have the uncanny ability to know what something is without having seen it before.

Tristans abilities are: a. Foresight, he can tell exactly when and where something will happen and manipulate them in his favor b. He can give people luck or take it away c. He can manipulate light and probably use it as a projectile, and d. Know exactly what has to be done at any moment.

——————————————————————————————————

Willie, Dersite Bard of Blood:

A Bard is a person who invites the destruction of or with their aspect

Blood is the aspect of bonds, stability, and unity.

As the Bard of Blood Willie actuates the severing of bonds and the dissolving of stability.

Willie is a change maker, he breaks down the stable and familiar structure of the established group dynamics in Drawfee often in an antagonistic way; Willie is well known for his hatred for Jacob, and his very presence elicits the rage in both of them.

Videos in which Willie appears are marked by hostility, but through him new and interesting things get made.

Being a bard isn’t all bad, Bards of blood are not one sided; A bard of blood has the ability to destroy using the bonds they have, uniting a group of people under a cause to destroy something, like rallying the crew against Jacob.

Willie, like a lot of the crew, has a lot of buffing abilities; utilizing his bonds he can make others more powerful and fight harder than they could otherwise.

Willie’s abilities are: a. Control of literal blood b. Group sync, he acts as a conduit through which the coordination and damage output increases, and c. Dismantle, he can break the bonds of atoms and make physical matter crumble away.

[bbrandy2002]

The Getaway

Part Two

A/N: This is obviously a continuation of a birthday fic I wrote for @ao719 that is now 2 weeks late 🙈 I was dealing with stuff, dont judge lol The writers block and doubts were for real yo! But thanks to my Tumblr bestie, who wouldnt let me quit, encouraged me, talked me through this thing and gave me ideas, it finally all came together.

Anitah, I apologize for being so late and the silliness of this fic and if it's terrible. I still hope you had a wonderful birthday and are blessed with so many more 💜

A/N/N: Thanks to @burnsoslow for beta reading and literally a thousand other things.

Warning: A lot of bad language, a miserable Drake Walker and violence involving tasers, fires, animals and car accidents ... No one dies people!

**Drake and Liam belong to Pixelberry, Nikolas belongs to me, the driver and mailroom guy belong to @burnsoslow​ and Liam's secretary belongs to @ao719​

Drake stepped out of the truck in a furor, cursing under his breath, to check on his damages. The front driver tire had fallen into a deep ditch, and it was evident by the thick mud it sunk into that it would be next to impossible to get unstuck without some assistance.

He shook his head, gritted his teeth, and the veins in his neck enlarged and throbbed. As he knelt down to assess the damages further, Nik hopped out of the truck and stood over Drake. With one glance, Nikolas clutched his belly and let out a loud continuous cackle that soon sent a storm of hot blood that seemed to collect in Drake's crimson-colored face.

And the laughter just got louder and louder.

And the laughter didn't stop.

In Drake's head, it sounded like a thousand Niks laughing simultaneously, each one with two horns, a pointy tail, and a pitchfork in hand. 

His anxiety took over.

He stood up, and in an attempt to let some of his anger out, he kicked the tire with an enraged shout that echoed beyond the heavily-forested valley and sent flocks of birds in a frenzy.

The tire's air must have been over-pressurized by the drop's force and popped as soon as Drake's foot made contact. He fell back onto his ass with a heavy thud causing Nikolas to screech out in more laughter. Drake sat up into time to see the front bumper and side panel fall to the ground.

"I think your truck is broken, Uncle Drake," the prince chortled.

Drake's head whipped around and glared at the boy. "No shit! What the fuck are you even doing here? You're supposed to be on a plane to Paris."

Nikolas shrugged. "This sounded more fun." 

"This isn't fun, you little asshole!" Drake jumped up and attempted to lunge at the boy, but slipped in the mud, caught his balance for a split second by grabbing onto a tree limb, then slipped again, before wiping out completely. "Son-of-a-monkey-fucker!"

Drake laid on his back, staring up at a large tree branch that hung overhead, praying to God the damn thing would just fall on him. 

Nikolas walked over to him and looked down on the face of fury. "Is it time for dinner yet? I'm staaaaaaaving!"

"Nikolas," Drake groaned then took a deep breath, his back mud-soaked and achy. "How? How in the hell did you pull this off?"

Nik plopped down on Drake's stomach, causing him to grunt loudly. "Easy. I told my dad you invited me, and he let me go. He was happy you wanted to spend time with me." The Prince smirked.

Drake gritted his teeth. "And he just believed you? Fucking Liam."

Nikolas shook his head. "No. I got Neal in the mailroom to pretend he was you on the phone."

Drake lifted his head and glared. "You mean that grease trap that lives in the ambulance down by the river?"

The young prince nodded. "Yeah. Except he doesn't live by the river anymore. He moved behind the elementary school .. said it had a better view."

There was dead silence for a moment as Drake grimaced at what he just heard before jerking his hips upward. "Get the fuck off me."

Nikolas stumbled to the ground with an uproarious laugh.

Drake reached into his front pocket and pulled out his cell as he rose to his feet. He was dead set on getting someone from the palace to retrieve this little menace to Drake Walker society before he found himself tied up to a cinder block at the bottom of Lake Boogaloo. The issue with his truck could wait.

Liam and Riley would already be on the plane with Bastien in tow, so calling them right now would be useless. He pressed the contact for the palace operator, hoping to be directed to the mailroom; if Neal was part of helping get Nik into this, his shady punk ass could come pick him up in the renovated ambulance that served as his home and part-time blood mobile. 

Pacing back and forth, Drake raised the phone to his ear, waiting impatiently for a ring. 

"Trish! Put me through to the mailroom." 

While he was distracted taking care of that, Nikolas was somewhat disappointed the trip was already over -- he had so many plans for his favorite uncle. With his arms crossed over his chest and a pout on his lips, he leaned up against the truck in a huff. "This sucks!"

The sounds of leaves crunching and brush moving around nearby caught his attention. Nik's eyes widened in fear when the black furry coat of a creature with a white stripe down its middle could be seen scampering around searching for food. The boy gasped and pinched his nose as the animal's foul scent started to become thick in the air and made his eyes water. "Uncle Drake," he called out in a nasally voice, "there's a skunk."

With a scowl, Drake lowered the phone and scrunched up his own nose. He took one glance at the animal, who didn't appear to be a threat, then glanced back at the kid. "It's probably more scared of your evil ass than you are of it. Just keep your mouth shut and don't move." The call with Neal resumed.

"But, Drake ..." Nikolas whined, trying to plead for him to listen but could tell his uncle would have none of it.

Frantic to scare the smelly animal away, the young boy searched the ground for something to throw at it: a large stick, a rock, Drake's Air Bud soundtrack. Those things might scare the skunk off, but they posed a risk of it spraying before doing so. Memories of the smell of Madeleine's office when he had one shipped to her came flooding back. It took a month for the palace to lose that scent. The prank was hilarious until it affected his comfort.

 A devilish smirk took shape as an idea popped into his head. “I need my backpack.”

Nik grabbed the top of the truck bed and stepped up on the rear tire and swung one leg over, then the other. He found his backpack and quickly unzipped it, pulling out night-vision goggles and a rope, then placed them beside his feet. He proceeded to move aside a bottle of industrial-strength super glue and the glass jar holding his tarantula, Barf. Finally, at the bottom of the bag, was the taser he “borrowed” from Bastien’s desk, and he quickly took it out. Holding the electrical gun in front of his face and twisting it around menacingly, he said, “Okay, Mr. Skunk. Get ready for a shocking experience.”

“No!” Drake yelled into the phone at Neal, “You can’t borrow my binoculars. What the fuck are you gonna use those things for at a children’s museum anyway?”

“The … the …” the man scrambled for an answer, “those dinosaurs … yeah … the dinosaurs. They’re, like, really tall, ya know? I want to be able … to, uh … see their faces and stuff.”

“I call bullshit,” Drake bit back, “I won’t be an accomplice in your bone watching … dinosaur or small boy.” He resumed his pacing, wanting to get the conversation moving along. “Now listen, my sister and brother-in-law are in Texas, Lord Beaumont is on a book tour, and the guards are off duty until the royal family returns. You are going to come pick up this kid.”

“Oh! I would love to come pick him up. He’s under 10, correct?”

Drake could practically hear the creepy mirth oozing from the man's gruff voice and spat back, "I'll be with him the whole time, you oily ass, ambulance-driving …  è piccola cagna!"

"What does that mean?"

Drake knitted his brows; he didn't really know, just that Nikolas called him that from time to time, and the word just kind of stuck with him. "Just ... just get here now!"

"Okay, okay! I'm coming."

The call ended. "God, I hope he meant that literally, and I didn't just get that fucko off." He slipped the phone into his pocket and turned to Nik. "Alright, listen up, assh ..." Drake stopped dead in his tracks and stood, stunned, at the first glimpse of a taser-wielding Nikolas with the gun aimed almost directly at him, with a tiny finger wrapped around the trigger.

"Wwwhatcha got there, boy?" Drake's voice sounded calm and friendly. He even managed to fake a genuine-looking smile. Inside, however, he was close to shitting his pants.

Nikolas licked his lips and closed one eye to find the perfect aim. "I'm about to fry that skunk with extreme vengeance. One ..."

"Nikolas, no! Give me the taser." Drake cautiously approached him with his hand held out.

"Two," the small but menacing voice continued the count.

"Nik, don't do it! Give it to me now!"

"Three.”

"Noooo!"

The piercing sound of Drake's shout startled the skunk, and it scurried out from the thick brush.

Nik jumped up with the taser. "Hey! Get back here, asshole." He aimed at the fleeing creature and pressed the trigger.

___________

The instant Drake's mocha-colored eyes fluttered open, an acrid mixture of what smelled like ass, sweat, rotten eggs, and his mother's hairy feet had bubbled up inside his nostrils. The aroma was slightly overshadowed by the 1200-volt prongs that had pierced just below the protruding vein in his neck, causing him to seize up and then drop like a rag doll to the dirt, and muck that littered the ground.

Close by, he could make out the discernible sound of footsteps crunching through foliage and bark and sloshing over wet earth.

Drake's cheek rested against the cold, soggy ground, even as the silhouette of the young prince crouched next to him with his little head tilted sideways and blinking owlishly. He saw the child's lips moving but blocked out the little shit until the feeling of electrocution and muscle spasms had waned.

Drake looked at the small face next to him that resembled his best friend at that age. Liam is a good man, Drake thought; he was a considerate child, too. We had fun together. We always had each other's backs and would do anything to protect the other, no matter the consequences.  Liam wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s just the best all around.  So …  how in the actual ass fuck did he produce the spawn of Satan? 

Is there any chance he’s ... Neal’s kid? 

Maybe Riley ... No, fuck, no. She wouldn’t.

The sky transformed from a brilliant blue to one streaked with gold and orange hues before Drake shook himself of the aftershocks that sparked through his body. 

The metal prongs left behind two bright red spots, resembling a large spider bite and stinging like hell when he pulled them out.  A thick layer of mud had dried and clung to his back, while a fresh layer adhered to his front. The numbness in his limbs had dissipated somewhat, but the pins-and-needles feeling remained. He was grateful the back spray from the skunk missed him, but the remnants it left on the nearby trees were stifling.

At this point, the only thing Drake wanted was a hot shower, a clean change of clothes, and to get stupidly drunk to the point he would pass out in bed and sleep for days. He scanned the perimeter and could make out the crystal-blue lake through a small clearing in the trees about 100 yards away.

Removing his filthy shirt and tossing it in the back of the truck, he eyed Nikolas, who was surprisingly quiet and subdued. The child was sitting on the lowered tailgate, swinging his legs, and trying to force his tarantula to eat a dead cricket. Drake rolled his eyes but was relieved the kid was staying out of his hair for now. He just needed to take a quick dip in the water, change his clothes, and hurry back in time for their ride home. Nik would be fine by himself for 10 minutes.

Drake let out a sharp tongue whistle that caught Nikolas' attention. "Listen up, kid. I'm going down to the lake real quick to clean up and change into some clean clothes." He opened the driver's side door and reached across the seat to toss his cell phone and wallet in the glove box while he continued, "You and your spider get in here and lock the door until I come back."

Nik dropped Barf in the jar and slapped the holed lid on it. "It's not a spider, Drake. It's a tarantula. A tarantula," he corrected with emphasis as he slid down from the tailgate.

"I don't care if it's your grandma's bladder control protection, get your ass in the truck, and don't move until I get back."

Stepping up in front of Drake, Nikolas sneered at an annoyed Drake towering above him. "I'm telling her you said that. And why can't I go with you? I wanna go to the lake, too," he whined.

Drake nearly doubled over in fake laughter. "There ain't no damn way I'm taking you. For one, you've ruined my entire trip. The one good thing I had in my life to look forward to, and you ruined it! And two, I don't know what the rules are about grownups, and nakedness, and with kids around, and all that shit. So the answer is no." 

Drake could tell by the beady little eyes glaring back at him that Nikolas would not give up on this. He let out a heavy sigh. "Look. Do what I tell you right now, and when I come back, I'll build a campfire, and we can make up some s’mores. How's that sound?"

“Okay.”

“Really?” Drake shook his head in astonishment that he actually won that argument. Without another word, he watched as His Royal Highness happily climbed into the cab of the truck and gave a thumbs up.

Did that taser kill me? I’m dead, right? He did it. Do you smell that, Cordonia? No, not that fucking rank ass skunk. It’s the smell of victory! Drake Walker is a god! I have the power back.

Grabbing his duffle bag from the back, Drake hurriedly made his way toward the lake. He felt a little on edge, leaving Nik by himself for even just ten minutes, maybe even somewhat guilty. But he was caked in mud from head to toe, and the grime was starting to seep and burrow around certain parts of his anatomy. Nothing was worse than having monkey ass.

Within minutes, Nikolas sat on his haunches and looked out the back glass. He hadn’t wanted to show it, but he did feel a little bad for shooting Drake to the point it drew blood. Also for causing him to crash his truck. And even though it was funny as hell to watch, the second slip in the mud was kind of brutal. Perhaps a little remorse was starting to set in as the words of his Uncle Drake telling him that he ruined the one thing he was looking forward to repeated in his head. Tomorrow he would return to normal, but Nik was determined to do something nice for a change for the rest of the evening.

With the quick snap of his little fingers, an idea formed, and it would be the perfect thing to make Drake feel better. Nik unlocked the door, grabbed his spider, and jumped out of the truck. He headed to the back and rummaged through the bags of camping items laid in piles until he found what he was looking for: a lighter and lighter fluid.

“I’ll make the bestest s'mores ever for Uncle Drake. That’ll make him happy.”

Nikolas had never built a campfire before, but he’d seen it done in a movie once, and that was good enough in his mind to practically make him an expert.

Feeling clean and refreshed, Drake dried off from his dip in the lake and put fresh clothes on. Making his way back to the site, he caught a glimpse of thick, black smoke protruding above the trees and the smell of burning rubber that traveled with the approaching evening breeze.

“Nikolas,” he muttered as his heart crashed into his stomach. He raced back as fast as he could, fearing the absolute worst thing had happened to the Prince of Cordonia. “I knew I shouldn’t have left him alone. Liam and Riley are going to kill me, and I would deserve it. I just hope he’s not …” he trailed off when the site came into full view. It was worse than he imagined.

His eyes searched frantically until relief washed over him when he caught his first glimpse of Nikolas sitting under a tree, eating, and seemingly unconcerned by the inferno that had lit up the dusky sky.

Drake rushed over to him and lifted him into his arms and held onto him tightly.  “Are you okay, buddy?”  

Nikolas chuckled, “I’m fine, Uncle Drake.”

He lowered him back on the ground and started patting him down, looking for burns or injuries. 

Drake let out a sigh of relief. “How? How did this …” he turned to look at the fire, then raised his voice. “Wait! You caught my goddamn truck on fire?”

Nik followed his uncle's gaped-mouth stare to the truck engulfed in flames, then screwed up his face. "Yeah ... about that. I think I used too much of that lighter fluid stuff building a campfire. But I made you something." He reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out a s'more, licked the melted chocolate off the side, then proudly held it up to Drake. "The marshmallow is exactly the way you like it, too: completely charred."

Drake dropped his head into his palms and repeated a slew of curse words and sounds that were not even human. As badly as he wanted to destroy everything around him at that moment, to release a fit of anger the likes of which no one had ever seen in him before, it appeared Nikolas had beat him to it: There was nothing left around there to destroy. 

He dropped his arms to his sides in defeat and looked to the heavens before surmising, “This is my punishment, isn’t it? I stole that taser from the guard as a kid and let Liam take the blame for it. I insisted Liam come with me in that boat during a storm, and he nearly drowned when it overturned. He got lost in the woods on my time. I pushed him too hard once during maze tag. I got stuck in that laundry chute all night, and Constantine took hide-and-seek away from him. This …” he motioned to Nikolas, who was smiling back at him with a big cheesy grin, “this is how he got me back for all of it. Well, you win, Liam! You win!  I hope you are having one hell of a time in Paris, schmoozing and laughing your ass off, because I have nothing left in this world but this …  hairy, lint-filled s’more with your son’s saliva all over it …  and it’s not even toasted right!”

“I didn’t make it right?” Nikolas asked thoughtfully. “Hang on. I can make you another one.” He bent down, pulled out a marshmallow from the bag and rammed a mud-covered stick entirely through its center. Drake watched as Nik skipped over and held it next to the flames shooting out the window of his truck.

For several seconds, Drake contemplated whether he should just leave the child there and let nature take its course. Glaring back to the star-filled sky, he groaned, “You owe me big for this.”

Tugging Nik by his jacket hood to pull him away from the hot blaze, he startled the boy who then whipped around with the burning marshmallow and accidentally got it stuck to Drake’s shirt. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

Ten minutes passed, and the two were on the dirt road heading back to the highway’s main stretch. After patting out the fire on his shirt, Drake planned to call the fire department to report the inferno taking place in the woods. He laughed wryly when he realized the phone was still in the glove box of his burning vehicle. And it appeared Neal’s skank ass wasn’t coming after all, so the pair would have to flag down someone and hope they actually stopped. Thankfully, Nikolas had his backpack on, and Drake used the night vision goggles to direct his way along the darkened path.

Hand in hand and approaching the main thoroughfare, Nik’s legs were starting to tire, and his droopy eyes looked up. “Uncle Drake, will you carry me?”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Pleeeeeeease,” Nikolas begged in a high-pitched squeal that grated Drake’s teeth.

Drake stopped with a huff and crouched down. “Get the fuck on my back,” he commanded, “you’ve burned and shot the front part of me, so your ass is gonna have to hold onto the back. And I swear to God, Nik, if you so much as drool on me, you can sleep in the woods with the wolves and bears and poodles. Understood?”

With a tired nod, Nik wrapped his little arms around Drake’s neck and held on. As they proceeded ahead, the prince asked, “Would you tell me a bedtime story?”

Drake grunted, “You wanna bedtime story? I’ll tell you a bedtime story. It’s an ol’ Bianca Walker original that she used to tell me every night called ‘Go the fuck to sleep!’ The end.”

Nikolas sleepily chuckled. “I already have that book, Uncle Drake. My dad’s secretary, Charlotte, gave it to me and told me to put it in my room. She said if my mom or dad found it, just to tell them you gave it to me.”

“Of course she did,” Drake scoffed, thinking about the other person who found pure delight in annoying him.

Through the night-vision goggles, the headlights of a random car could be seen driving by, and Drake let out a relieved breath, knowing they were so close.

The night couldn’t end that easily, though. A sudden sense of unease enveloped Drake, telling him that everything was not as it seemed. His steps quickened, and his heart pounded away in his chest.

Feeling like he was being followed, he turned on his heels, then widened his eyes. 

A large brown bear let out a roar that echoed past them.

Drake shrugged his shoulders and muttered, “Yep. That’s about right.”

The survival training he’d learned from his Campers Anonymous group about bear encounters kicked in, and he completely stilled his body. That was until he heard, “BEEEEAAAR!” screamed over his shoulder and felt Nik’s body drop to the ground.

“Don’t move, Nikolas,” Drake ordered through a whisper.

It was too late; he was gone and headed toward the road.

Drake whirled around to see the bear on its hind legs, drumming its chest and licking its lips. “Shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Wait for me, Nik!” He took off running.

--------- 

Alyssa was headed back to Cordonia earlier in the night than she expected. With her hands firmly gripped on the steering wheel, she complained to her friend through the car's Bluetooth, “The guy showed up one hour late to our meeting spot, then drove through a McDonalds, asked if I wanted anything, proceeded to park behind a church and tell me he has condoms before the cops picked him up on a warrant! Worst. Date. Ever.”

Driving around a bend in the road, Alyssa slammed on the brakes when her headlights reflected off a small child darting into the road. As her tires screeched, she let out a deafening scream when a man came out of nowhere, followed immediately by a bear. The frantic man shoved the kid out of the way.

Though  the brake pedal was pressed to the floor, the car collided with Drake, and his body flew onto the hood before falling feebly to the road.

The bear sniffed at Drake and batted him around a couple of times before taking off into the woods.

When Alyssa was sure it was safe to do so, she and a crying Nik both crouched around a moaning Drake.

_________

The following morning, Drake's eyes fluttered open. His vision was a little fuzzy, but he could make out a doctor hovering over him and a worried Liam standing with Nikolas at the foot of his bed. He tried to speak, wanting to know what happened, but was unable to open his mouth.

"Don't try to speak, Mr. Walker. Your jaw was wired shut to protect the small fracture you suffered from the car accident. You also broke both legs and sprained your neck. You have a long recovery ahead of you, but shouldn't need to spend any more time in the hospital. You’re a very lucky man. Now if you’ll excuse me, I will get the discharge papers and check to see if the ambulance transporting you to the palace has arrived. His Majesty has offered to allow you to recover in his home." 

Drake took one look at a gleeful, bouncing Nikolas and shook his head as best as he could with a neck brace on and emphatically mumbled his indiscernible objections.

Liam chuckled, "Quit being so modest, Drake. I assure you it’s no trouble at all. Besides, it's the least I could do after you saved my son's life. And Nik here even offered to let you stay in his room to keep you company."

Nik nodded with a grin. ���Yep. For the next eight to 12 weeks, it's just me and my Uncle Drake hanging out all day and night.”

Drake tried to escape from his bed but couldn’t move without use of his legs.

Liam walked around to the side of the bed and put his hand on Drake’s shoulder. “Look at you trying to protest. You never were one to accept charity. I told you, I’m more than happy to help. You deserve this and more.”

A knock at the door diverted their attention and a head popped in. “I’m here to transport Mr. Walker back to the palace, Your Majesty.”

“Perfect! And on such short notice too. So glad my secretary could arrange this ride,” Liam exclaimed. He glanced down at his injured friend in the bed and smiled. “You ready to go home, my friend?”

No! No! That’s fucking, Neal. He doesn’t even have a real ambulance. I’m not going. Somebody, anybody, heeeelp!

[another-random-dom-2]

The Principal's Office pt. 2 - Michael & James

(The following is fantasy. All characters are 18 or older.)

Michael:

I didn't cry, as I kissed his shoes, or as the nurse who came in 'checked me for damage', as she put it. Apparently, that's mandatory after a beta student gets smacked in the nuts. Apparently, getting smacked in the nuts might be something I have to try my hardest to get used to.

James was long gone by the time I really pulled myself back together. I was so glad that Claire was waiting for me outside the office though. If you're going to go through something like that, you really do need to see a friendly face on the other side of it.

It was so shocking. Up until today, even after Selection made things weird, I'd have said that James, Claire and I were best friends. We *literally* went to kindergarten together! And then out of nowhere for him to just ... Anyway, when Claire put her arm around my shoulder and asked me how I was, and I could see on her face how bad she was feeling for me, that's when I cried.

I was so angry, and hurt, physically and otherwise, I tried to talk but the tears just streamed down my face. Claire held me close. I needed that so much. I started to blubber something about James, and how could he, but she just cut me off. And I couldn't believe that the words she'd said had come out of her mouth.

'James was right.'

I was sobbing, with a black eye and bruised balls, and my best female friend was telling me my best male friend was right to have done it. I felt a rage rise up in me, but when I pulled back from her hug to look at her, I could see how hard it had been for her to say it. How much she was hurting for me. So instead of screaming, I just bitterly asked her what the fuck.

I don't deserve a friend like Claire. Because, sad to say, she was actually right. She was right that James was right. She had seen the nurse come and go, and she knew enough about how things worked to guess the rest. And James hadn't done anything wrong.

Claire pointed out that all James had done was trip me, which wouldn't have even been the hugest deal before Selection. Just a dumb prank. I was the one who called him a name, and in front of people.

Claire's voice softened, like she was pleading with me to understand. I knew how important it was to her for the three of us to get along. She'd always been the glue. She went on, reminding me that alphas have to command betas' respect. They have to do what it takes, including, if necessary, a black eye or a nut-shot. And a beta, which, like it or not, is what I am, has to learn to take it.

I cried even harder when I realised she was right. I just had to learn to deal with a fucking crappy situation. It isn't like I have an alternative. I hope James isn't too pissed at me for disrespecting him like that. Claire is right, her and James are the best people to help me get in the right mindset, to get through this. Because they're my friends, and they care about me, it'll be easier to get used to how things are, with them.

I can still barely believe she had me crawl behind her when we went to our last class of the day. Or that she ordered me to show Lucy my bruised balls, when she asked Claire about 'your pet's black eye'. But I knew it was working. With Claire metaphorically holding my hand it was a lot easier to deal with. And this *is* the life I have to get used to.

The way Lucy giggled at my bruised sack though. The way Claire joined in. I knew she had to do it, but fuck if it didn't sting. When the final bell rang, I walked Claire home. I was still stressing about James, but she said she'd take care of it. I knew she would.

She said all I needed to do was get through my homework, and get a good night's sleep. And to be at her place bright and early in the morning, to carry her bag as we walked to class. I said 'Yes, Ma'am' and she grinned, patted me on the head like a puppy, and said, 'Good beta'.

Coming from Claire, it didn't feel so bad.

James:

Most. Fucked. Up. Day. Ever.

This wasn't what was supposed to happen. None of this. When I tripped Michael I wasn't trying to be all sadistic alpha. I was just being a dumbass, the same as any other day. Selection wasn't that long ago. Maybe I'm still getting used to the extra female attention, if you see what I mean. Like, I haven't exactly used my authority yet, in that area. They do say to take your time, and wait until you're ready.

Maybe that's why I let those girls convince me that doing something stupid like tripping up 'some loser beta', to show that I was getting into the swing of being an alpha, was a great idea. I figured Michael would get that I was just showing off for some honeys. I was gonna say sorry and thank him later, for the assist. No biggie. The next thing I know, he calls me a fucking dickhead in front of everybody. I didn't want to hit him, but if I hadn't, everybody would have thought ... And then that scene with the Principal. She said I had to do it, for him, me, school discipline, possibly national security. Fuck ... That woman is intense.

As soon as she let me go I was *gone*. Cut the rest of the day's classes and went home, feeling like shit. What the fuck was Michael going to say the next time I saw him? Or Claire? I felt so sick to my stomach the moment I realised that Claire would hear what I'd ended up doing to Michael.

By the time classes were over back on the campus, I was knee-deep in tribal warfare on a distant planet, thanks to the miracles of modern gaming. Just trying to take my mind off things. I probably would have continued battling my people's ancestral enemies well into the night, but I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket.

Claire just said 'I'm at your front door. Put down your virtual weapons and let me in.' She'd clearly guessed why I hadn't heard the doorbell. When I got downstairs and went to open the door, I just felt so sad about the way things had gone down. I was expecting her to be furious with me. But she just looked worried, and more than a little sad herself. Still I expected her to tell me how bad I'd fucked up.

Instead she looked at me, serious but calm, and asked me if I was ok. And when she saw the look on my face she just stepped through the door and gave me a huge hug. I hadn't realised how badly I needed one. I didn't cry, but I was a mess. She led me back up to my room. She was always the strong one, out of the three of us.

I told her that it was hard to believe she'd just stopped by to check how I was doing, given what I'd done. She took my hand and told me not to feel bad. Said that it had been Michael's choice to disrespect me like that, and that everything after that had just been me doing what I'd had to do.

When I pointed out that I was the one who'd tripped him, she said alphas need to learn to behave like alphas, and she made me look in her eyes as she said that I'm an alpha now. She talked softly about how everybody has a place in things. I have to be an alpha. Michael has to be a beta, and that means learning to swallow his pride. Which is true. A public outburst like that, out in the real world? The punishment would be a *lot* worse.

And then she smiled and said that she had a place in things too. I think my brain kinda stopped working right around that point. I honestly couldn't believe where she seemed to be going with this. Her fingers lightly stroked the palm of my hand as she said the Selection isn't just about how boys treat each other, after all. Girls like her also have a role to play.

Like, for example, if she happened to find herself in an alpha's bedroom, part of her role was to be ready and willing to drain every last drop of cum from his beautiful alpha balls, absolutely any way he wanted ... Holy fuck ...

Asking a girl if she's serious, when she's already rubbing your dick through your sweatpants, doesn't exactly scream 'cool and confident', does it? But I mean, it's Claire! I've literally known her as long as I can remember being alive. The three of us have always just been ... us. But the way she was looking at me; that was new.

It was hard to think after she'd pulled down my waistband, as her fingertips stroked my suddenly rock-hard dick. And her words, the things she was saying ... That as an alpha I have a duty to live like an alpha, and women, like her (did she actually just wink at me?) have the honour and pleasure of giving alphas like me what they need.

She told me it was about time I started playing my part, fully. I don't fully understand how the smirk on her face was so sexy to me, as she said that being an alpha isn't all fun and games, like kicking betas in the nuts. It's also hard work, like fucking hot sluts in their tight holes. She saw the look on my face, and just grinned. 'What, too soon?'

My brain still wasn't working right, but I still laughed at that. Her hands were still stroking and caressing me. She got me naked, and sat me down. "Ok, stud," she said, "I have two questions for you, and in a few minutes I expect answers to them both. The first is which of my holes would you like to cum in first? The second is which 3 of our female classmates do you want to fuck this week?" I think I just stared at her, with my mouth open. She asked me if I understood, and I just nodded.

She asked me if I'd like some inspiration, while I considered my options. I just nodded again. With another of those strange, new smiles on her face, she got down on her knees between my legs. Then she opened her mouth, and leaned forward. And then I found out what heaven feels like ...

[kimarchive]

“keep it moving” | lil’ kim by mtv news, 2003.

"I'm locked in a five-year contract with [Kim]," said Cease, who's signed as a solo artist to Queen Bee Records. Other than albums that Kim herself has recorded, Cease's poor-selling but critically acclaimed 1999 solo debut, The Wonderful World of Cease A Leo, is the only release to come from the Queen Bee Records imprint since it was founded in 1998.

-- by Shaheem Reid, with additional reporting by Sway Calloway, Jeff Cornell and Quddus Phillipe Kimberly Jones is dying to go Hollywood, but some people are hissing that she already has. She definitely isn't the same 'round-the-way girl the Notorious B.I.G. introduced us to in 1995. Little Ms. Jones has estranged herself from old ideals and friends from her 'hood that she once considered family. She's got a fresh attitude to go with her new set of Hollywood and high-society buddies and associates, people such as Hugh Hefner, Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Don King, Donatella Versace and Victoria Gotti.

Kimberly doesn't even look the same — she switches hairstyles almost as often as she changes rhyme flows. Plus she's got a new surgically altered nose to go with her voluptuous, augmented breasts. "When I decided to finally do that is when I realized I was a sex symbol," she has said about her implants. "It's something that I felt would make me have more fun with my photo shoots and enhance my look a little bit." But going Hollywood for Kim really means just that: She wants to make movies. Her dreams have nothing to do with forgetting where she came from, or — as they might say in her native Bedford Stuyvesant neighborhood — "acting brand new." Kim maintains she's the same Brooklyn girl at heart: feisty, focused and determined not to fail. Like Will Smith and, more recently, Queen Latifah, rap's Queen Bee wants to make it big in Tinsletown. Yeah, she's appeared in such flicks as "Juwanna Mann" (2002) and "Zoolander" (2001), but Kim knows she's capable of bigger roles and more explosive performances. "Being involved in different entities of the game is so much fun 'cause you don't just get stuck in one genre," she explained. "I like to be here and there. My personality and my character are versatile." But unlike the aforementioned rap legends, she still wants to keep the music industry buzzing about her material. "That's one thing I don't like," Kim said, referring to how some of her fellow MCs' music careers suffered as their movie careers took off. "Will [Smith] was doing it at one point. Regular rappers were trying to [sell] five million [albums] and he was doing seven million, with flicks out that were doing $50 million a week. That's the type of success I want to follow. I think what happens is that the rappers [who] have success in Hollywood kinda start ignoring their music. I don't think it matters to them anymore. I ain't gonna front, [if] you're getting $20 to 25 million a film ... even $10 million a film is enough to make you say, 'I don't have to do an album this year.' [But] I wouldn't do that." And that's no Hollywood talk, either. Kim not only has a movie called "Guns and Roses" due out this summer, she has a new LP, La Bella Mafia, in stores now. Named La Bella Mafia after a 1997 made-for-TV movie, "Bella Mafia," in which widows of mob figures take over the family business, this LP has been heralded as Kim's best work since her trailblazing 1996 solo debut, Hard Core. On Mafia, she runs away from the syrupy melodies and hooks that hampered 2000's Notorious K.I.M.'s "How Many Licks" and "I'm Human," which seemed to pander to radio and dancefloors. Kim's latest opus is a return to the streets, where she enlists such sound-shapers as the always-unpredictable Swizz Beatz, Scott Storch, who has co-produced some of Dr. Dre's classic jeep thumpers, and Mobb Deep's master of morose tracks, Havoc.

"She's a star, [and] people respect stars," said Havoc, who first worked with Kim on Mobb Deep's remix to "Quiet Storm." "She's smart, and most of the decisions she makes are good musically. She's among the top people in the game, and she's better than a lot of [guys]. You don't have a choice but to give her that respect." "I think she's on top of the game," concurred Queen Latifah, who recorded with Kim on the soundtrack for the Academy Award-winning film "Chicago." "I just bought her album the other day and I love it. I think it's [about] her growing up. She still ballsy, and she's still gonna pop junk to any other female rapper out there, but I like where she is right now. I like to see her in control of where she wants to go. I'm proud of her." And while Kim loves the praise she's received from her peers and fans, she feels things could still be a lot better. Although Mafia put her on pace to equal or surpass the numbers she posted with her biggest selling LP, the double platinum Hard Core (despite its lukewarm reception, Notorious K.I.M. still sold over a million copies as well), Kim wasn't pleased with La Bella Mafia's first-week sales of close to 167,000 copies. "A lot of people say 'Kim is up there,' " the Queen Bee lamented, "but I don't feel that I'm up there 'cause I haven't accomplished my goal yet, which is to sell 10 million records of one album. Imagine what people will say when I reach that point." One thing people do talk about is how long it takes Kim to churn out albums. There was a four-year gap between the first two records, and even with the widely heralded Trackmasters and the spirit of Mafia co-executive producer B.I.G. fueling this album's beats and rhymes, it took years to make as well.

"It's kind of hard because I like to take my time to make things perfect," Kim said, explaining why she always has such a long gap between projects. "I went into this album thinking, 'I'm just going to have fun with it.' I said, 'I'm going to do what I want to do. Let me do this the way I feel B.I.G would have wanted me to do this.' He's the one that taught me everything I know, and he tells me things still. That's why B.I.G is listed as the co-executive producer on my album. It's just me and him." What also slows down production is the fact that you just can't keep the black Erica Kane locked in the studio for too long. She's got her manicured hands dipped in far too many projects to be getting stuck in a sound booth all night. For one thing, she's got a new clothing line, Hollyhood, still in development, with a launch tentatively planned for the fall. A true fashion aficionado, Kim's wild outfits, trend-setting hairdos and modeling stints for Mac and Candies and have given her a strong presence in the fashion world. Hobnobbing with clothing kingpins with last names like Prada, Versace and Armani have only strengthened her cause. "When she did 'Guns and Roses,' she was on the mark," LisaRaye said of Kim's spin as Chastity, the vixen of the bunch. In addition to the movie, the two worked together on a song for the film's soundtrack. "We filmed that movie in 18 days, so you know how quick and steady the flow was," she continued. "She was actually excellent." "It was fun," Kim said with a grin. "It's like a female 'Young Guns.' Us five females, we're like sisters. When we all got together it was nothing but love. For the most part, we were all sisters on that set — we all had each other's back. I like to surround myself with good people — positive people committed to their work." 

And make no mistake — if you're not committed to Kim, you can't be down. At her album release party a few weeks ago, celebrities such as Dave Chappelle, Mobb Deep, Jagged Edge and Wayne Wonder came out to one of Manhattan's newest hot spots, the Lobby, all ready to hail the Queen. Conspicuously absent were Kim's longtime running mates, Lil' Cease and the rest of the Junior M.A.F.I.A. Kim and the J.M., all friends and protégés of Biggie's, had been virtually inseparable since they were introduced back in 1995. The originally nine-member crew appeared on classic songs together, put out a gold album and performed at countless shows nationwide. When B.I.G. died, they leaned on each other during their collective time of mourning, and his memory was the glue that held them all together. And the bond was deep. When Kim went solo, she looked out for her boys as their careers stagnated. If they needed money, she hit them off. If one of her guys got in trouble with the law, as Larceny and Cease were known to do on a few occasions, Kim, the perennial mother figure, always bailed them out. At one point, the clique was so close that they all lived together in Kim's New Jersey mansion. But since then, the group's relationship has soured, and the Queen Bee has had to literally clean house. "Well, you have to move on and you have to grow," Kim said, visibly holding back venom and opting to give a more politically correct answer as to why she no longer associates with Cease and Co. "You can't be taken advantage of for too long, and it's a case where unfortunately, [the relationship] just went bad. In the same sense, I hope they do well and [that] they can find God in their hearts." On La Bella Mafia's "Heavenly Father," however, Kim's a little less restrained. She raps, "And was it enough that I split 20 percent of what I make?/ Was it enough that I cut n----s half of what I bake?" 

Lil' Cease is just as angry with Kim these days as she is with him. His biggest beef with her is not that she cut him off — it's that she won't let him go. He's so miffed at his onetime homegirl that he's started a "Free Cease A Leo" T-shirt campaign.

"I'm locked in a five-year contract with [Kim]," said Cease, who's signed as a solo artist to Queen Bee Records. Other than albums that Kim herself has recorded, Cease's poor-selling but critically acclaimed 1999 solo debut, The Wonderful World of Cease A Leo, is the only release to come from the Queen Bee Records imprint since it was founded in 1998.

"She's putting all this stuff out like she's not messing with me right now," Biggie's puffy-cheeked former best friend fumed. "I feel like if you [are] not messing with me, give me walking papers so I can do me. We had our differences [and] I thought we could patch them up, but honey is doing her thing. I'm not knocking her, but she still got me under paperwork. [I've] been trying to get in touch with her, [but] she's ducking me. I call the office, [but] she don't want to talk to me. I go to the office [and] I can't see her."

"There's a lot of truth to what Cease was saying," Kim retorted with a snarl before clamming up. "I don't really want to get into that. The only thing I'm concerned with is La Bella Mafia being in stores. The whole truth will come out later and I can't wait." Although Kim is being clandestine and won't say exactly when her and the Mafia started to fall out, she is more than willing to reveal when her relationship with her former manager, mentor, friend and Notorious K.I.M.'s executive producer P. Diddy went south. "I can honestly say that during the whole process of [making Notorious K.I.M.], Puff and I were like a brother and a sister arguing," said the 26-year-old. "One minute we'd be the best of friends, and then the next minute things weren't working out at all," Kim said. "Sometimes Puffy likes people to do whatever he says. I'm a creative person, an entertainer. I'm a boss lady. A lot of times when you [are] working with a boss man, you have to respect each other's opinion. I just wanted my respect and because I was young and female, I don't think he gave it to me fully." "I'm a hard coach from beginning to end," Diddy said unapologetically about his meticulous work ethic. "I'mma push an artist to [be] the best. Some artists feel [like], 'I've grown up, and I don't want you to push me this hard no more.' I can't really do that. I'm not crazy or anything, I just want to be the best. We gotta be the best every time." Kim said she was also hurt because when times got tough for her after Notorious K.I.M. received mixed reactions, Diddy abandoned her. "I loved Puffy with all my heart, [and] if you look back, I was the only one supporting him. [At the time we were making my album] I wasn't even signed to Bad Boy," she vented. "During those times I held his hands, like, 'I know these people hate you right now, but I'm with you, dawg.' Puffy can be very selfish. I had to let him go do him and I had to go do me. I needed people at that time that was going to support me 150 percent. I was only getting 50 percent. Unfortunately, I don't speak to him at all."

P. Diddy, who seems indifferent about the split, offers a simpler explanation: "I think it's [about] people outgrowing each other and people wanting different things." While Kim hasn't cut off all her old friends, she has been gravitating toward a new crowd on the road to becoming a better-rounded person. One of her biggest cheerleaders now is Victoria Gotti, a multimedia personality and the daughter of late mob boss John Gotti. The two met over a year ago at an event in New Jersey and have built a nurturing relationship. They've done their share of partying and have at least one big adventure in common: The line-slinging siren recently held her buddy to a long-standing promise to appear in one of her videos. In February, the pair braved the bitter cold to shoot the unreleased clip for Kim's song "I Came Back For You" in front of the Brooklyn Bridge. Gotti says she'd do anything for her homie. "It's weird because she's everything she is onstage and nothing like her [persona]," Gotti said, describing why such a diverse group of people show Kim love. "She is a chameleon. She can just rise to [any] occasion and fit whatever mood everybody's in. That's the one thing I adore about Kim, [and] that's the first thing that shines through. Forget her looks, forget her outrageous outfits — she's got personality that's second to none." And what Kim's hoping for is that soon, her success in all fields will be second to none. Even as her fan base broadens, she maintains that she'll never forget the gig that first put her on to all the other opportunities. In fact, she is as hungry as ever to stand out and rock the mic.  "I don't ever worry about competition," she says confidently in regards to her fellow female rappers. "I do a totally different thing from all these females. Everybody feels that 'I have to be at the top.' We can all be at the top selling records. There is no 'I'm better.' I know I'm a Queen and I do what I do.' "

    And what she is doing is everything.

[marshmallowprotection]

I lied. I had to do it tonight I'm so excited. Since you guys wanted to hear about my RFA Kids Au, I had to actually write about the children for you guys. So, I don't really have any partners for the RFA, I left that open ended mainly for the cast except for Jihyun and Saeran, obvious reasons being spoilers, but the children are my precious babies and I'm glad to share them with you all.

If you want more of them, let me know.

Su-Jin Kim

Sujin is the precious apple of his parent's eyes. He is perfect to them, and he always does what he's told to do. He is loud and he is always showing his love and affection towards others. You could often find him as a kid trying to hug the legs of anyone he could get his hands on. He's very empathetic, and seems to always feel the emotions of others just as strongly if not stringer then they do. Because of this fact, he is a very big crybaby and people often tease him for it. He tries to take it in stride but sometimes it's hard for him to cope with that. His Dad gets it, and that's why his Dad is his idol; Because he knows what Sujin is dealing with firsthand and he reassures him that he should always be himself and it will be okay in the end because of that.

Sujin is also deaf, rather, hard of hearing in both of his ears. One is better then the other but he really has no depth to most sounds. He has implants but he heavily relies on KSL(Korean Sign Lanaguge) to communicate with people. This barrier is what makes it hard for him to connect with others at times. Sujin does struggle to make friends of his own, but he is close to the other RFA kids because they're often around each other and interacting. He's a positive boy and does his best to be kind. He's friends with all of the other RFA kids because he's just that sweet.

Ha-Yun Ryu

Hayun is a very sweet girl, and she's always had this air about her that makes other people want to be her friend or be close to her in some way, shape, or form. She's always looking out for others and a lot of people feel like they can come to her when they need someone to speak with. Zen's daughter is a princess and she's always been spoiled rotten by her parents. That doesn't mean she's a bad egg! She's actually very polite and always minding her manners with people, and like her Father, she has a way of dazzling people with her outward beauty since she heavily took after him rather then her other parent with her red eyes and white hair. She's got a good head on her shoulders as she aspires to be a famous Idol, and fashion icon. She's very bubbly and always smiling, she's kind of oblivious but in that way that makes her a pure blessing on this planet that you want to protect. Is it because Hyun has tried to shelter her? Probably, but God, she's an angel on this Earth.

She's very active on her social media and has a very positive presence with the public! Just don't you dare think about trying to flirt with Hayun because her Dad is always warning her about the dangerous of men out there! He would do anything for his daughter, and I feel had personally for the boy that ever makes Hayun cry. Speaking of boys and loving them, Hayun has a big crush on Jun, and she has since they were children but she thinks that he doesn't like her more then a friend.

Ji-Yeong Kang

Jiyeong was adopted and she cannot remember a time in her life without Jaehee and her other parent as they've been with her since she was a very young girl. They've always been there. She loves them and they love her so much; She wouldn't have her family any other way at all. She's an outgoing girl who is always trying to study and reach the next peak on her journey without bothering others along the way. She's polite and very straightforward, a trait she picked up very quickly from her Mom and it just stuck to her like glue as she got older; However, she is quick to upset, her exterior may look tough but it doesn't take much for her to be on the verge of tears.

Unfortunately, her hot temper can land her in some bad places sometimes and she is always scolded when she gets into trouble but rewarded for having such a strong moral compass. She is a dedicated friend, and kind tend to be the Mom of her friend group just because she wants to make sure that nobody gets hurt.unless they deserve it. She's close friends with the Choi Girls, mainly Minsu, causing some kind of havoc.

Jun Han

Jun is so much like his Father that it might strike you with whiplash. He looks like his Dad, but his eyes are his other parent's eyes. He's intelligent, and got this brand of humor that could only come out of the Han household. He's very soft spoken, and he often doesn't express it when he's upset or depressed. He just grows quiet and balls it up inside when he knows he shouldn't. He struggles with his Dad being so busy all the time, but he makes up for it as best he can by hanging out with his friends or petting Elizabeth. He's very good friends with not only Jihyun's daughter, Lucy, but Yoosung's son, Sujin, as well.

Jun is his chosen name, and its the name that he's gone by since he was young. He will not respond to any other name that you call, as he refuses the feminine name that was attached to him at birth. You see, Jun is Trans, and he's always known that he was a boy, even if he didn't have the words to express it. For a long time in his youth, he was angry and often threw tantrums when he would have to wear dresses and hang around others. His parents knew that their baby needed help for his problems, and they realized very quickly that Jun was well, Jun, and the rest is history. There was a small struggle with Jumin as he can to grips with what it meant for Jun to be Trans, but, he and his partner are more then supportive of their son and they would do anything for him to ensure his happiness.

Min-Ji & Min-Su Choi

Minji is the older twin by five minutes, and Minsu is the younger twin. They both are the spitting image of their Dad, with the red hair just as vibrant now as it was the day they were born. The small difference between them is that Minji was born with heterochromia, having one golden eye and one brown eye, instead of both golden. They are polar opposites" much like their Dad and Uncle are. It's a kind of cute dynamic when it comes down to it. These two are the world to Saeyoung and he is happy to say that they are great kids. Minji is shy, and she often doesn't know how to cope with people. She often struggles with crippling social anxiety and Minsu is always there for her sister, she took the big step when they were young and held her sister's hand when she cried or became too scared to speak with other people. She is quick as a whip, and picks up language just as easily as her Father does. The first thing that she learned was KSL so that she could better communicate with Sujin, who she has the tiniest crush on. She's very close to her cousin, Nari, as the both of them are quiet and tend not to get noticed by others.

Minsu is encouragble and has the biggest prankster tendencies out of anybody in her family. She picked up on Saeyoung's tricks and improved them without even trying. She's always laughing and having fun, but it can land her into trouble if she's not careful, its great that Jiyeong is with her to stop her from doing anything too dumb, but it really doesn't make that much of a difference. She's bubbly, and she's always quick to speak for herself and her sister without being asked to do so. She's always trying to be a good sister, if anyone hurts Minji she will destroy them with her bare hands. She's got the smallest crush on Jiyeong but she's not about to admit it.

Lucy Kim

I don't even have to say a lot about Lucy because she is pure and honest and kind. She's not my OC, so I haven't really fillet developed how I want to write her just yet. The best daughter that Jihyun Kim could have ever have asked for, and he spoils that girl rotten. I read her as sweet, and very close with Jumin's son out of pure choice.

Nari Choi

Nari is literally sunshine and she deserves everything that the world has to offer and more than that. She is the daughter of my MC Lila, and Saeran, and she's always smiling. She's got her Mother's brown eyes and her messy hair, and her Father's hair color. She's named after a Lily, and its clear that Saeran did that deliberately, and Lila liked the sentiment just as much as he did. Nari never really has had a lot to say, she was a quiet baby and she always held onto people's hands for silent comfort. She is a soft-spoken girl who often doesn't go out of her way to get attention because she likes being in the background, and she absolutely adores gardening because it's the one thing that her Parents are always doing together and sharing together in and around their house. Nari is often found underneath trees and amongst the tall grass just bathing underneath the sun rays, and she aspires to be a florist when she gets older! She very well may be able to do that because her parents are always behind her back and supporting everything that she wants to do or try even if it seems silly to others.

She's very close with her cousin, Minji, and you often don't see one without the other attached. They just floated to each other because they silently understood that the other didn't want to jump out into the spotlight. They often share each other's company in the quiet, and its a normal thing for them to read books in the same room.

[purplesurveys]

525

This survey is literally called Adult Survey so let’s see just how bad I am at being one 👉😎👉 What grocery store do you shop at the most? My mom does most of her shopping in SM supermarkets, but sometimes she’ll stick with Freshto.

Which stovetop burner do you use the most? Uhhhh I haven’t used the stove in a while, especially since it almost exploded in my face the last time I used it – but I used to go with the rightmost one since it was the largest, and it fit the pan that I typically used. Do you use a dishwasher or wash dishes by hand? We wash dishes by hand here. I can’t name you anyone who actually bought themselves a dishwasher here in the Philippines.

What color is your favorite laundry basket? Idk, I don’t have a favorite. What color was your first car? White. If we’re talking about the car bought by my parents.

What was your first job? Never had one yet. What is the best job you've had? What is the best pharmacy near you? Not sure about the best, but we have one right across the village that we head to. Do you use public transportation? NO. Public transport in this country is an embarrassment, a joke, and one of the reasons I’m hell-bent on moving out entirely. If you ever needed a country that has trains regularly break down every week (forcing its passengers to walk to their destinations even when they’re nowhere near), trains with poor air conditioning, smoke-belching jeepneys, buses driven by murderous drivers, and public transportation that all in all will force you to wake up 3 hours earlier and STILL end up late to school/work, the Philippines is for you. Which bank do you use? I don’t have any sort of card yet.

Do you have a credit card? ^ What is your favorite fast food restaurant? As questionable as every branch of theirs smells like, I have to give the crown to KFC. What do you want to name your kids? Olivia and Mia are pretty much locked in for me. Still clueless about boy names. How many tattoos do you have? No tattoos. What year did you graduate high school? 2016. Three years, but it’s felt like forever ago. What chore do you hate the most? I haaaaate washing dishes. Thankfully Gabie loves doing it, so it’ll be easier for me when we move in together haha. What is your favorite shampoo to use? Dove is fine. How do you remove stains from clothes? Water and tissue usually do the trick. Do you carry pepper spray? I don’t. I really should. What highway do you drive on the most? Marcos Highway. I live on it and have to go through it if I want to go anywhere. Do you like driving? It’s convenient and I like being out on my own time without the pressure of tiring out/going overtime on a personal driver; but being stuck in traffic for hours all by yourself can be very draining. What is your favorite radio station? I listen to 93.1 in the morning for my favorite radio program, but for the rest of the day I’d switch between that, 99.5, 94.7, and 87.5. What do you use for an alarm clock (phone, stereo, actual clock, etc.)? I use my phone and I have like 5 alarms set everyday because I’m pretty difficult to wake up. Which department store do you shop at the most? I don’t shop for stuff a lot; most of my money goes to food haha. Which dollar store is your favorite? Do you shop at the dollar store often? We don’t even use dollars, sis. What is your favorite gas station? I don’t have a favorite but I like going to Petron just out of habit. Do you burn candles often? I never burn candles. How do you relax? It depends on what I feel like doing. I can choose to watch YouTube videos, watch Friends, take a survey, take a nap, or binge-eat. What's your favorite app on your phone? Twitter or Reddit. What do you cook the most? I can’t :( When was the last time you relaxed in a hot bath? Over a year ago? I dunno, I don’t get to do this a lot. Do you take showers or baths normally? Showers. What is your favorite candle scent? Whatever smells like food, like a bakery or cinnamon. Floral scents make me gag. How much does it cost for you to laundry (if you use a slot machine)? Do you make your bed every day? Yes. It feels so much nicer coming home to a fixed bed. Do you have any pets? Yes, I have a dog. Do you have kids? Nope. Are you married? Also nope. Do you save receipts? Receipts from important dates, sure. I like keeping the little details. Do you use re-usable bags at the grocery store? I think my mom does. What color is your carpet? We have a big brown carpet in the living room, but other than that the rest of the house isn’t carpeted. Have you ever burnt yourself with the glue gun? No and I am too scared to know what it feels like so I’ve never held a glue gun before. We actually had to use one fairly recently to make props for an org event, but I told my orgmates I wasn’t gonna help in that department and I could work anywhere else I was needed instead. Do you write checks? Nah. I’ve had my parents ask me to pay with one, though. Ever had a garage sale? My parents never held one, but we’ve been to several. What have been some of your best garage sale finds? I don’t think we bought anything from them. What time do you wake up in the morning? Depends if I have something to do that day. Are you a morning person? God no. I hate having to report to school early and I usually need an hour or two to adjust to the surroundings. I have a 7 AM class on Wednesdays and Fridays and my brain just refuses to cooperate every time.

Are you more of a morning person now than you used to be? Haha I don’t think I ever was a morning person. Do you like to read? I used to. Nowadays I’ll read something every now and then, but it’s not my favorite hobby anymore. What was the first election you voted in? 2016. Who is on speed dial in your phone? We don’t have speed dial. Do you play games on your phone? Sure. I used to have no games at all cos I thought it was a waste of storage, but now I have like 10 games on my phone because of all the advertisements I see hahaha. What phone do you have? I have an iPhone 8. What was your first phone? I keep forgetting the exact model, but it was the iconic Nokia one that had a green screen and early versions of Snake and Space Impact. What kind of computer do you have? I was too young to ever pay attention to the brand and the model, tbh. I did reach the era where connecting to the internet meant weird sounds and not being able to use the landline, so there’s that. Wall calendar or desk calendar? Phone and laptop calendar. If you read a daily devotional, which one are you using currently? I don’t. What is your favorite book? I’ve read a lot of books but I don’t think I’ve encountered my favorite yet. What is the strangest food you've had? I absolutely love Indian food and would do anything for it, but gulab jamun was pretty horrid. The taste confused me so much and the wet, sticky texture didn’t help either. What do you do when the power goes out? Curse out Meralco on social media, especially if it was an unannounced outage. Then I’d stay with my dog so that he doesn’t get scared. Does your home have a basement? Nope. How often do you clean? My mom likes to be in charge of general cleaning, and she does so once in a few months. How often do you go grocery shopping? An hour or so seems like it. Ever bought a lottery ticket? Nah, I don’t want to grow obsessed with it hahaha. Do you gamble? Nope. What does your purse look like? My *wallet has several essential cards/IDs, my savings, and old receipts and papers I never got around to throwing away. Do you ever sleep on the floor? No. I slept on the floor a lot as a kid and I hated it, so I stay away from the possibility completely now. Which room do you stay in the most? Mine? What is your bedtime? I don’t have one, but I always strive to be in bed by 10 or 11 PM. Ever worked two jobs or more at once? This hasn’t happened to me. Do you live in an apartment, condo, house, or dorm? I live in my parents’ house. What does your dream house look like? Modern, minimalist, square-shaped, lots of glass, white. Describe your dream wedding. I haven’t figured out what location I want, but I wouldn’t want it to be in church, at the beach, or in a barn. I want an all-white (or at least almost all-white) motif, a laaaaarge guest list (I’ll only get one wedding so I’m making it huge lmao), free flowing drinks, cupcake racks, and I wouldn’t want it to be too formal nor too casual. That’s like 6 elements out of the hundred I’ll probably end up thinking of, but it’s a start. How often do you go on vacation? As often as my dad is home, so like a few times every 4 months. What is your favorite type of weather? Rainy/stormy, dark, and bleak. What do you do when you have a sore throat? Hate myself. And continue eating whatever because a sore throat isn’t gonna stop me from eating delicious food. How often do you go see a doctor? When it’s required lol Do you have acid reflux? I don’t. Do you snore? I snore only when I’m ridiculously exhausted after a day. And when I do it’s only like once then I stop. Are you on birth control? I’m not. I don’t need it currently. What kind of toothpaste do you use? A normal one? Idk, I just use Colgate. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I have glasses. How often do you wear make-up? Only when I go to parties, which isn’t often. Do you put on make-up in the bathroom or the bedroom? Gabie usually puts makeup on me in her room. Do you have a swimming pool? Nope. What is the first site you go to when you turn on your computer? It differs, based on what I feel like doing/have to do. Typically, though, it’s Twitter. Which email service do you use? Gmail. How often do you check your email? Everyday, because I guess I’M AN ADULT NOW AND I HAVE TO SUCK IT UP. How old were you when you got your first phone? I was 7. I’m pretty sure my parents didn’t want to get it for me, but I was 7 in a private school, everyone was getting their own phones (and this was when phones was starting to get big among kids), and I was feeling pressured to get my own. What was your favorite boy band back in the 90's? I wasn’t conscious for most of the 90s. Did you own a Britney Spears album? Nope.

[morningfears]

A Party Song

Rated: M (There’s smut! No one under 18!)

Request: Fratboy!Calum. Your brother is president of Calum’s frat and he’s hated Calum since the day he overheard him talking about wanting to ask you out. What happens when he hears that you’re hooking up with Calum at a party??? (Chaos, that’s what happens.)

Words: 4.5k

Requests are open!

“I feel like this won’t be the only time I say this tonight, but I feel like this is probably a mistake.”

Your friends laugh to acknowledge your statement as the three of you stare up at the illuminated house at the top of the hill. The thumping bass of a Top 40 remix is loud enough to be heard at the bottom of the stairs where you stand and the scent of weed has you wrinkling your nose. You watch, a sigh falling past your lips, as girls in cute dresses and boys in khakis and polos climb the stairs two at a time to reach the front door. The house looks like a scene straight out of a bad teen comedy and the thought of ascending the stairs makes your stomach churn.

“No,” you revise after a moment of silence, turning to spare glances at your friends, “this is most definitely a mistake. We should just sneak into a bar or something. The bouncer at the Tavern likes you guys.”

Hannah rolls her eyes as she turns her head to face you. “I don’t get why you’re so worried about this,” she laughs as she takes in the people marching toward the stairs, “it’s not that bad. This is actually a pretty chill party for them.” She pauses for a moment as she turns her head to face the house before she grins and reaches for your hand. “You have to attend at least one frat party during your college years. If you didn’t, did you really even go to college?”

“I know this is a chill party for them,” you huff as you stare at the familiar Greek letters, “I’ve heard plenty of stories from Josh and his friends. I’d be fine with literally any other frat. Just not the one my brother happens to be president of. I don’t want to watch him get shitfaced and act like a douchebag. Besides, he won’t let me have any fun if he realizes I’m here. He’ll send one of his goons to watch over me and make sure I don’t drink or dance or have any fun. Or, worse! He’ll stick to me like glue himself!” Hannah and Kourtney watch as you frown up at the illuminated house before you shake your head and turn your head back to them. “Doesn’t that other frat have that paint party every year? We can just wait until next year and go to that. I don’t mind, honestly.”

Kourtney rolls her eyes at your rant as she reaches for your free hand. “Sweetheart, breathe. It sucks and I know you hate to admit it but your brother is the president of the most fun frat on campus. They throw the best parties and, honestly, what other experience could you want? Besides, there are so many people here tonight that you probably won’t see him. Hannah and I will do our best to keep you away from his goons and help you have some fun. This frat does have the cutest brothers. I mean, have you seen Luke Hemmings? He’s so fucking hot, I can’t take it.”

“He’s a total ass,” Hannah huffs as she and Kourtney pull you toward the stairs. “Ashton Irwin, though, he’s an attractive sweetheart. And, I mean, he’s a senior. A mature man is what I need,” she states with a wink in your direction. 

Both Hannah and Kourtney giggle about their respective crushes before Kourtney turns her attention to you with a grin. “What about you?” she questions, “You’re here all the time, you know all the brothers. See any that have caught your eye?”

“I can’t look at any of them for more than five seconds or my brother will go ballistic,” you sigh as you fall into line just shy of the top of the stairs. “He saw me talking and laughing with Calum back when he and Luke were pledges and I thought he was going to kill him. He’s held this stupid grudge against Calum ever since. It’s the worst, most insane thing ever.”

Kourtney and Hanna both nod their heads sympathetically as Kourtney pats your arm. “That is insane,” she pouts, “and totally unfair. You’re an adult. You should be able to go on dates or talk to cute frat boys if you want. Calum is super cute and you guys would be adorable together.” She pauses for a moment before she squeals and squeezes your hand. “It would be super fun if the two of you were together! You could totally have a Romeo and Juliet type situation, yeah? Forbidden love is so hot.”

“Romeo and Juliet were, like, twelve,” you sigh, “and so many people died. I don’t want my brother to kill Calum because I’m sure he would if he caught us.”

“Admit it, though,” Hannah presses with a grin, “if your brother wasn’t an issue, you’d so be all over Calum.”

“He’s cute,” you admit begrudgingly, “but it doesn’t matter. I can’t do anything about any crush on anyone until my brother graduates.”

“But you have a crush on Calum,” Kourtney squeals, “that’s so cute! Oh my god, we have to help you hook up with him!”

“Don’t let Josh hear you say that,” a familiar voice calls from the top of the stairs. Your eyes widen for a moment, fearing the worst, before the familiar blonde ushers the three of you forward. “I don’t want your brother killing one of my best friends,” Michael laughs as he pulls you into an embrace, “but I’m so in to help you two hook up. He’s been whining about how cute you are since you met and how unfair it is that your brother keeps you locked away from the outside world.”

“Thanks, Mikey,” you laugh as he releases you, “but I’m good. I think Calum’s cute but I prefer him alive. So, no hooking up tonight yeah? Just let me enjoy the party. If you want to help, though, you can keep Josh and his goons away from us? Or at least play lookout so I can hide from him.”

“Of course,” Michael assures you with a grin as he follows the three of you to the door. “I’d be happy to help you avoid your brother so you can actually have some fun. Now, let’s go get wasted!” You grin at Michael to convey your thanks before you step through the front door to join the chaos. 

Dancing bodies are packed far too tightly into the open space of the living room, each with a red cup in hand, and those who aren’t dancing spill into the kitchen and hallways. There are people lining the stairs, people spilling out the door into the backyard; it’s all  simultaneously overwhelming and comforting.

“There’s no way I’ll see Josh,” you breathe, slightly relieved, as the four of you enter the kitchen, “there are so many fucking people here.”

“This is a slow night,” Michael laughs as he passes you a cup filled with hunch punch, “but you should be fine. Josh usually hangs out by the stage, keeping an eye on everything, so avoid the front of the room. Back of the dance floor, kitchen, and backyard should be the safest places for you.”

“Thank you, Mikey,” you laugh as you pull him into a hug, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Hate your college experience because of your overprotective big brother?” he offers with a grin before he grabs his own cup and holds it out. “Cheers.”

After downing your first two cups of hunch punch and chatting with the few brothers you know won’t tell your brother about your presence, Kourtney and Hannah drag you toward the back of the dance floor. A better Top 40 remix, one that doesn’t hurt your ears, is blaring through the room and the effects of the copious amounts of alcohol in the hunch punch are starting to hit you. It doesn’t take long for the three of you to find a rhythm, your hips moving to the beat in a way that you hope looks better than your usual drunken dancing.

You’re not sure what you’re expecting but it only takes about a song and a half before Ashton and Luke are cutting in and stealing Kourtney and Hannah from you. Both girls pause, not wanting to leave you alone, but you’re quick to usher them away. You point to the backyard, letting them know where you’ll be, before you grab another cup from the kitchen and step out into the cooler night air.

You step out onto the deck and allow yourself a quick glance around, searching for any of your brothers friends, before you relax and focus your attention on the backyard below. A beerpong table decorated with the fraternity’s letters is set up in the middle of the backyard and a group of brothers is crowded around it. Calum is at one end, a smile on his face and a pink tinge to his cheeks as he laughs at one of the brothers completely missing the table with their shot, and the smile that turns up the corners of your mouth is automatic. His smile is contagious, you muse as you lean against the railing and watch the game, and you’re not sure if that’s a good thing.

Your brother has always been excessively overprotective. His tactics have always been to attack first and buy your forgiveness later but it’s all gotten to be too much. You want to live your life without worrying what he’ll say or do to any of the people who get too close to you. You don’t want to have to look over your shoulder to have a good time.

You appreciate the love and the desire to make sure you don’t get hurt but you just wish he’d realize that sometimes you have to make your own mistakes in life. And if those mistakes are boys with tattoos and gorgeous smiles, well, so be it.

You’re so deep in thought that you don’t realize Calum has left the beerpong table until a familiar voice asks, “What are you doing here? And why is your brother not glued to your side?”

You’re surprised to find Calum standing beside you, a cigarette in hand and a smile on his lips. “He doesn’t know I’m here,” you shrug. “My friends wanted me to have some fun and they didn’t feel like going to the Tavern so…”

“So you’re sneaking around right beneath your brother’s nose?” Calum questions with a grin. “I like it. I didn’t know you were so bold.”

“Usually, I’m not. Michael’s playing lookout. I thought about leaving but Kourtney and Hannah are with Ashton and Luke and I can’t make them leave yet,” you smile as you turn to face Calum fully. “What about you? I thought you spent as little time here as possible because my brother hates you.”

“I do,” Calum assures you, “but I stay for the parties most of the time. We have a reputation to uphold, you know?” When you laugh at his words, Calum grins and shakes his head. “I actually wasn’t going to stay tonight but Michael caught me before I left. I’m guessing you’re the reason why.”

“He, Kourtney, and Hannah have this ridiculous notion that we should hook up but I told them I preferred you alive. What did you do to piss Michael off? It seems like he wants you dead,” you tease with a grin.

“Seems like it,” Calum agrees, “because he knows how much I like you and how hard it’s going to be for me not to make a move while you’re here.”

“You’re doing a good job so far,” you breathe before Calum takes a step closer.

“Not really,” he shrugs, “I’m kind of failing miserably at this because you’re standing right in front of me and your brother has no idea you’re even here.”

“He’s going to know if the two of you don’t come with me,” Michael huffs as he steps onto the deck and grabs your arm. “Someone told him they saw you and Calum together, he’s on the warpath. You two can hide in my room. If you fuck in my bed, I’m going to murder you both.”

Michael ushers you and Calum up the backstairs and down the hall into his room. “I’ll be back for you guys when he can’t find you and calms down. I know you’re going to so there are condoms in my drawer but if he comes searching for you guys up here and he throws you out of the house naked, I’m going to take pictures and post them all over the internet. And for the love of God, be quiet if you do fuck.”

With that, Michael slams the door to his room shut and leaves you and Calum in the dark. You’re both quiet for a moment before Calum pulls his phone from his pocket and turns on the flashlight. “Want me to turn on the lights or are you good in the dark?” he questions as he turns to face you.

“We should keep the lights off,” you sigh as you glance around the room and move to open the curtain, “that way he won’t know anyone’s in Michael’s room if he does come up here.”

Calum nods in agreement as he moves to sit at the foot of Michael’s bed. He watches as you pace around the room for what feels like a lifetime before he pats the bed beside him. “Sit down,” he laughs as he watches you worry with the hair tie on your wrist, “we’ll probably be in here for a while. He can get persistent. I’m not that bad of company, am I?”

“No,” you sigh, “of course not. I just don’t want him to have any more reason to dislike you. It’s so unfair that he’s holding a grudge from us just talking to each other. It’s not fair, honestly.”

Calum hesitates for a moment before he sighs and turns to face you. “It wasn’t just us talking,” he informs you quietly, “he overheard me and Luke talking about you. I told him that I thought you were gorgeous and wanted to ask you out. Josh overheard and has held a grudge ever since. I get that he loves you and wants to protect you but it’s not fair that he tries to control your life. I’m not sorry that he overheard me but I am sorry that he won’t let you enjoy college and live a little.”

“Do you think Michael was serious?” you question.

Calum raises an eyebrow before he asks, “What do you mean?”

“Do you think he was seriously okay with us having sex in his bed? I know he said he’d kill us both but then he said he knew it was gonna happen anyway and to just be quiet. So, do you think he’d kill us or he’d be okay?”

“He’s gonna demand we pay for dry cleaning but I think he’d be okay,” Calum answers slowly, “why do you ask?”

Calum watches as you stand from the bed and begin to pace around the room once more. “I’m tired of letting him control my life,” you breathe with a shake of your head, “I’m tired of hiding and running and living my life the way he’d be okay with. I just want to do something fun. I want to make some mistakes. I want to kiss you! Not that that’s a mistake, or anything, it’s just something that I want to do that he’s not cool with. I just, I’m tired of it all. I love him and I love that he’s looking out for me but I can take care of myself. I don’t want to keep letting him dictate my life.”

“Then don’t,” Calum shrugs as he stands. “Do something you want to do, make some mistakes. Kiss me,” he offers as he steps closer to you, his hands moving to rest at your hips. “Not that that’s a mistake,” he teases with a grin.

You pause for a moment, eyes locked on Calum’s face to search for any sign of hesitance, before you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss. He tastes like hunch punch and cigarettes and normally, you’d find the combination to be noxious but with Calum, you can’t bring yourself to mind.

The only thing that you can focus on is the feel of his soft lips against yours. His fingers are firm against your hips, gripping just hard enough to pull you tighter against his chest, as he allows you to lead the kiss. He wants you to feel comfortable, to feel like you’re in charge for once, and it makes your crush on Calum grow that much greater.

He gives you the reigns as he allows you to push the leather jacket from his shoulders. He removes his hands long enough to shrug out of the jacket and as soon as it hits the floor with a thump, his hands are back on your hips, dipping slightly beneath the hem of your top to brush his thumbs across your hipbones.

Calum melts into the embrace as you pull away from his lips to trail kisses across his jaw and down the column of his neck. “I know you’re trying to be a gentleman,” you breathe against his skin as your fingers trail down to the hem of his t-shirt, “but I’m a big girl. I can handle myself. This isn’t how you normally act with a hookup, is it?”

“Is that what this is?” Calum questions as he tightens his grip on your hips, “A hookup?”

“At the moment, yes,” you breathe against his skin, “just in case we don’t survive the night. If we both survive, though, I’d love for it to be more than that and I’d love all the cute, sweet stuff that comes with being more.”

“Guess we’d better survive the night, then,” he breathes as he steps the two of you back toward the wall. 

Calum’s lips meet yours in a passionate kiss as his fingers grip the hem of your top. He bunches the material just below your breasts as his hands splay across your ribcage. The feeling of his cool rings against your skin is almost too much as you feel yourself growing desperate for air. Calum allows you to pull away, your chest heaving and your eyes closed, before he tugs the material of your top up and over your head. 

As soon as the fabric hits the floor, Calum’s mouth is on your neck. He knows that he shouldn’t, knows that it will probably decrease his chances of surviving the night, but he can’t help himself as he marks your collarbones with his teeth. While your mind is caught up in the feeling of his lips on your neck, his hands move to cup your breasts.

“Calum,” you breathe as you shift your head to give him better access, “just do whatever you want. Fuck me like you want to. Just do something, please.”

You can feel the vibrations of Calum’s laughter against your neck as he reaches around your back to unsnap your bra before he pulls away just enough to watch the material fall to the floor. His eyes are glued to your chest for a moment, his pupils darkening with lust, before he crowds you against the wall and returns his lips to yours in a heated kiss.

As his fingers pop the button on your jeans, your hands dip beneath the fabric of his t-shirt. You allow your hands a moment to roam, to commit the feeling of him to memory, before you break the kiss and tug the material of his shirt up and over his head. Calum tosses his shirt to join yours before he helps you out of your jeans and returns his lips to your neck.

“I want to take my time,” he breathes against your skin as his fingers dip beneath the waistband of your panties, “but we can’t. Not here. So, this is going to be quick. Can you be quiet for me?”

As he slips a finger into your heat, you suddenly doubt your ability to remain quiet. “Probably not,” you answer honestly as your nails leave crescent moons on his biceps, “but I’ll try.”

“That’s not good enough,” he breathes as he pulls his hand from your panties and makes quick work of his own jeans. “Hang on,” he orders before he crosses the room to Michael’s nightstand and pulls a condom from the drawer. In the time it takes him to return to you, you’ve stepped out of your panties and Calum can’t help but stare at you.

He’s wanted this moment for so long that he can’t believe it’s finally happening. He wants to savor the moment, truly enjoy his time with you, but he knows that your brother will be searching for the two of you until he finds you so he has to make this quick.

Pushing the thoughts of what damage might be done to him out of his mind, Calum shoves his boxers off and steps out of them on his way back to you. He’s quick to roll the latex over his length before he grips your hip and presses the tip of his cock to your entrance. “Is this really okay?” he questions, wanting to give you one last chance to back out.

“Calum, please,” you breathe as you reach for his biceps once more, “it’s more than okay. I want to do this properly later but for right now, please just fuck me.”

Calum nods his agreement before he pushes into your heat, his movements slow as he allows you a moment to adjust. When you moan at the feeling of Calum filling you, he’s quick to press his hand over your mouth. “We don’t want to get caught,” he reminds you as he makes an experimental thrust. When you nod at him, Calum sets a quick pace that has your eyes closing and your head falling back against the wall.

Calum is almost embarrassed at how quickly his climax builds but when he feels you clenching around him, just as close to the edge, he doesn’t feel quite so bad. He crowds you as close to the wall as he can without interrupting his rhythm as he moves his hand from your hip to rub tight circles across your clit. His fingers are quick to match his pace and he can still hear your muffled moans against his palm as he pushes you over the edge.

Calum follows almost instantly, his own high hitting him hard as he loses his rhythm and thrusts sloppily to ride out your orgasms. He stills for a moment after, his hand still pressed firmly across your mouth, before your tongue licking his palm has him pulling away.

“Sorry,” he breathes as he pulls away and ties the condom, “forgot for a second.”

“’S okay,” you grin as you work on steadying your breathing, “I didn’t mind.”

Calum opens his mouth to retort, to tease you, but he hears footsteps in the hall and rushes to gather your clothes. The two of you quickly tug on whatever clothes you can find, him missing a sock and you missing your underwear, before the door slams open and your brother, followed closely by a panicked Michael, steps into the room.

“What the fuck?” your brother demands as he takes in your disheveled appearance, “You slept with Hood?”

“What?” Michael laughs nervously, “No, they didn’t have sex. We were all building the Lego Death Star! See, the one on my desk. I went to get drinks but we’re out of Sprite so, you know, we can all just go to the convenience store and get some. So, no sex. Just Star Wars and Sprite.”

You pause for a moment, your eyes locked on your brother, before you glance at Calum out of the corner of your eye. He sends you a subtle nod as he stands up a little straighter and you follow suit.

“Yes,” you sigh as you fix your brother with a firm stare, “I slept with Calum. So what? I’m an adult. I can do what I want or who I want. I love you and I appreciate you looking out for me but I need to be my own person. I need freedom to make my own decisions and if that means getting my heart broken by a cute frat boy, then so be it. But you have to let me make mistakes or I’ll never grow. You won’t always be by my side to look out for me. I need to learn how to handle life on my own. I know you’ll always have my back but I need you to trust me.”

Your brother is quiet for a moment as he stares between you and Calum. His eyes are still angry, his posture still rigid, but he hasn’t lunged for Calum and you take that as a positive sign as you send him a smile. “You’re always going to be my big brother and I love you. So, let me be an adult, okay?”

He loses his resolve as you reach for his hand and shakes his head. “I love you, too,” he sighs as he pulls you into an embrace. “I don’t like this, I don’t like him, and I sure as hell don’t like the idea of you sleeping with him. But I’ll step back. I know you need to learn how to be an adult without me around. I don’t like it but I know it’s necessary. That doesn’t mean I won’t hesitate to kick his ass if he hurts you, though.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” you smile as you pull away from his embrace. “Thank you.”

Your brother nods before he turns to face Calum, a glare on his face. “I will end you if you hurt her. And don’t think this is going to make your life any easier, Hood. I still don’t like you. And you,” he huffs as he turns to face Michael, “you need to get better at lying if you’re going to help your friends sneak around. A Lego Death Star? Come on, man.”

“What?” Michael huffs as he turns to follow your brother back downstairs, “I really am building a Death Star!”

You roll your eyes as you listen to the sound Michael defending his hobby to your brother fade down the hall. After a moment, you turn to face Calum and smile sheepishly at him. “I guess we survived the night, then.”

“I guess we did,” he agrees with a smile. “I guess that means we get to give this a shot?”

“If you want to,” you nod, “I’m okay with that.”

“I’m more than okay with giving us a shot,” Calum agrees quickly, his smile growing larger. “Do you want to go get something to eat? There’s a diner down the street, they have great omelettes.”

“What are we waiting for? I’m starving.”

[demi-angel-novel]

Chapter 2

     After two years we return to the aging and decrepit orphanage. Its once pristine wooden floors are now stained in an old and patchy green paint, with the smell of mold and rotting wood wafting through the air with its foul odor.  As the orphanage, it self-was sweating from the humidity of the southern climate.  

On the two sides of the orphanages, walls are two twin staircases, each connecting at an overarching balcony which rests in front of an ancient and old copper bell.  Its surface now rusted and green due to its old age.  But there seems to be an oddity on this day.  Crouched in front of the bell are three children, each no more than twelve.  Two boys and one girl.  And they seemed to be discussing something.

“Tom, are you sure this is a good idea, I mean, you know more than any of us how bad she is!”  John whispered harshly

“Thomas, this is not a good idea at all!  if what John told me was real, why would you do anything to make her mad?!”

“Because that old puttana deserves it!  Plus, it’ll be hilarious to see her face!”  he chuckled.

“Yeah, your right, it would be pretty fun...but what if we get punished, We’ve seen your back, Tom, what if she does something worse?”  John asked meekly as his body began to shiver despite the summer humidity.  And to this Thomas just shrugged.  “Thomas, you can't be serious,” Indica said dismayed

“I am entirely serious, well as much as I can be.  So, are you guys ready or not?” he asked with a clap as he awaited their response, and to his question the two nodded as they each grabbed a sack and two buckets, each filled to the brim with strange materials.”thanks you guys, alright, everyone in positions!  This is gonna be fun!”  Thomas whispered excitedly 

And so the trio made their way to their positions.  In one of Johns buckets, he ran the edge of the opening on the floor in front of a wooden door, coating eh ground in a slick reflective liquid as he dripped some on the rails. Indica stayed at the beginning of the right staircase as John made an arc around her as she held her sack. As John mad his way back up to the door he held his other bucket as the two looked toward Thomas as they awaited him to start.  And as he saw his best friends primed and ready, he now stood underneath the lever, as he held out his other hand as three fingers fell as he mouthed.

3...

2..

1.

And with that last finger, he yanked down the pully with the bell striking its hammer delivering a deafening sound throughout the building.  As Thomas drew in as much air as he could before bellowing  “FIRE FIRE HURRY  GET OUT!!!”  And with that, a rush of clicking sounded as the caretaker burst from her door giving it a sickening crack as it hit the wall, and as she sprinted onto the liquid John hurled the contents of the bucket atop her, splattering her with glue.

“What on earth is thi-”  Before she could finish John shoved her forward causing her to slip and slide down the long staircase.  Unable to slow down at all.  And finally, she rocketed towards the front wall, landing back first as she groaned and tried to stand slowly slid on the back of her neck.  And do to the commotion the other kids came out and saw the display and everyone laughed their butts off at the caretaker.  Unable to suppress it as the old toucan tried to stand and fail.

The trio each rushed to the other as they gave each other a great big hug out of their excitement as they laughed along with the other children each complementing the other over and over again.

“You both were amazing!  I'm so proud!”  Thomas laughed giddily

“Oh man, we should e thanking you for being crazy enough to come up with it!”

“He’s not lying Thomas, none of us would have thought of it.”

“enough it was all of us!  Now let's go and check on the old toucan”  Thomas said.  The trio leaned over the balcony as they saw the caretaker pick herself up.  Her face red and filled with unyielding rage as her very body began to jitter and shake as her eyes bore holes into the laughing children as with one sentence, ended all the joy in the room, as she spoke with that cold and grating voice of hers.

“Who.  Did.  This”  She snarled, her voice was cold and steely as her anger was cracking her mask of calmness as she bore holes into every child, freezing them on the spot as they could only look at her.  With just a look alone, she turned every child into stone.  “If whoever did this atrocity doesn’t speak up ow, Everyone shall receive a punishment!  No matter what!  So I suggest you make your way here, now.”  If they were frightened before they surely were now, everyone could still remember the pain from their own punishments, the stings, he burns, the feeling of their back aching in never-ending ghost pains.  And especially the screams, those screams would follow all of them for as long as they’d live.  And now everyone was begging each other to confess and other just stood in place, no sound, no movement, only fear was left for them.

T-Thomas, what do we do I can't get another punishment again, the last one still hasn’t healed!  It still burns!”  John spluttered

“J-John don’t be a coward about this!  We-”

“Indica you’re just as scared as I am you’re literally shaking in your shoes”  He whispered sharply.  And so the two went into a mini argument before Thomas broke it up.

“Silenzio!  The both of you! here’s what's gonna happen the both of you go down the other flight of stairs and blend in with everyone else.  I’ll take the hit.  Don't worry about me, I’ll survive, just go”

“Survive?  Tom two years ago you cried for months as you could barely sleep cause of pain,  and you still wince whenever you talk about what happened,  W-we’re taking it together!”  John whispered

“He’s right, we’re friends, and we have each other back, no questions asked”  Indica agreed.  But Thomas’ face stayed the same, he wouldn't budge.

“Both of you go down now.  I’m not taking that as an answer,...just please allow me to take it this time.  Alright?”  Thomas pleaded John and indica both looked beside themselves as they couldn't believe what Thomas was saying, they were each about to open their mouths again, but as they looked into their friend's eyes there was no way they could change his mind, it was set in stone.  And with that they relented and gave their friend a hug as they gave their parting words.as they made their way down. 

“Fine, you crazy boy.  Just please stop doing this to your self, you aren't a superhero you know.:  Indica scolded.

“ Good luck Thomas, please don’t get yourself killed doing this.  You don’t have o protect everyone all the time..”  And with that they each broke apart.  With Thomas whispering this as they went out of earshot

‘I know, thank you’  And with that Thomas made his way to the balcony and peered over the rail at the fuming caretaker as she began a ten count, and as she made her way to three he got her attention.

“hey old Toucan, shut up we cant understand your squawking, we need English!  We don't speak bird!”  As he yelled that out the caretaker's face turned as fast as lightning as her eyes burned with hatred as she looked up at Thomas.

“YOU!!”  She roared

“Yes, me!  So what are you gonna do huh?   You gonna jab my eye out with that nose of yours?  Oh, my dearest apologies your beak my mistake, their both so long I  forgot which is which/  SO how about we make this short.  Are you gonna burn everyone’s brain cells or are you gonna actually do something productive so we can get on with the day, it's humid and we need water!  And your spit doesn't count.  We’d rather drink sand that that poison!”  As Thomas looked at the caretakers face it turned a new shade of red as he eyes and nose seemed to release smoke as he breathed in and out like a wild animal that was angry or furious at is pray with every deep and hot breath she released a wave of heat spread throughout the room.  as she said only to words and each sounded inhuman,

“come here.”  She growled and with his signature grin, Thomas said.  “With pleasure, just don’t kill me with your breath before I actually get your punishment.”  And with that thought out the whole night and most of the morning, there were cries and screams of pain echoing throughout the orphanage in an unending symphony of bloodlust and pain traveled throughout the orphanage as an unconscious Thomas laid in his bed for two days due to blood loss.

[grapefruitguan-blog]

Serendipity At Sea (OSW)

“All passengers, thank you for boarding the S.S Ferry!” the intercom boomed, “We hope you enjoyed the ride. Please have a safe trip, and come again!”

You stepped out of the creaky boat onto the harbor, where the salty scent of the ocean hit you like a tidal wave. The seagulls flew across the cloudless blue sky, and the hot, bright sun was in its full glory.

You almost forgot what this felt like; this was home.

Your hometown was a sleepy seaside port with a measly population of 500. Right next to the coast line, many cruise ships and tourists would stop by to admire the clear waters and varied species of sea life. Everybody knew each other, and remained as one happy family.

That is, until the storm hit.

You were only ten years old when your father, a fisherman, never returned from his journey. That day, the other men and him were determined to catch lobsters, in which could only be found during the stormy seasons. Because of the difficulty to catch them, the prices for the red crustacean were high. Gearing up in raincoats and hauling nets into their ships, you still remember your dad’s last words to you.

“(Y/N), I’ll be back, okay? Dad is strong. I’ll always be back for you,” he chuckled, ruffling your hair.

He never did. That night, you received the devastating news that your father had drowned along with several others during the storm, as the waves became too rough and the lightning struck their ships. You and your mother had left town to migrate to the city to live with her family.

Now, at the age of eighteen, you decided to come back.

As you stayed in the city, you fell in love with Kwon Hyunbin, an upperclassmen that went to the same school as you. For months, it was everything you had wished for, until you discovered who he really was.

It started with his overprotectiveness. You used to think he cared about you just a little extra, but it changed when he refused to let you have any male friends, and not letting any male get close to you.

“(Y/N),” Hyunbin snarled, “You aren’t allowed to talk to Kenta anymore.”

“What, why? Kenta’s like my best friend, we have science togeth-”

“I said, you can’t talk to him! You’re MY girlfriend, not his.”

He started calling you derogatory names instead of your own, beating you whenever you did something he didn’t like. You’d cake your skin with makeup, desperate to hide all the purple and green marks that stained your skin. As the days continued, you were starting to feel hopeless.

That was when Ong Seongwoo helped you.

Ong was your best friend from your hometown, where the two of you would run to build sandcastles together after school. Like you, his father was a fisherman, and the two of you first met when you were four and were arguing over who had the prettier seashell. He remained in your classes for the rest of your years, but all the other kids thought he was weird.

“Ong is so weird! His teeth are so weird!”

“Gross is Ong! Ong is gross!”

“Hey! Stop talking like that about my friend! The rest of you aren’t any better!”

When you were six, you stood up for him in your kindergarten class, soon getting into an argument with the other girls, and eventually getting in trouble for pulling their hair. Ong, when finding out, insisted to stay with you during your time-out.

“Ong, you don’t have to stay with me!”

“No, (Y/N), I have to! You stood up for me to those jerks.”

Ong had called you, full of worry that something bad had happened. The two of you had been pen pals since you left, but Hyunbin didn’t allow you to write anymore. When you told Ong, he firmly spoke into the phone.

“(Y/N), you need to come back home.”

“Ong, I can’t, I’m scared that Hyunbin will literally kill me.”

“He’ll have to get through me first. Just come back home.”

You took Ong’s words to heart, slowly creating a plan to leave. Wordlessly, as Hyunbin went out one night with his friends, you snuck out with nothing but a backpack, and took your route to escape. Ong had promised to be there waiting for you at the harbor where the ferry would drop you off.

He was.

As soon as you stepped out, someone hugged you from behind, making you jump in surprise.

“Wow, you still hate me that much?”

“Ong?!”

“Hey there, (Y/N), it’s been a while.”

He was no longer the awkward little boy in your elementary school class, growing into an extremely handsome man. He now towered over you, his black hair tousled in the wind, flashing a smile so bright you swore you saw a lightbulb.

“You hungry after that ride? It’s on me.”

Ong and you went towards the street vendors, recognizing a familiar face.

“Oh my gosh, Kang Daniel? Holy crap, I could barely recognize you!”

The blonde boy working the stand looked up, his face lighting up.

“(Y/N)?! It’s been years since I last saw you!”

As he was making you and Ong’s food that he insisted was on the house, he let you in on what was currently going on in the town.

“Everyone’s all crazy over that urban legend again,” Daniel said, rolling his eyes as he flipped the takoyaki, “Ong’s been a target for all the girls in our school.”

Your town had a famous myth that your ancestors had sacrificed a whole kraken octopus to the goddess of the sea. To thank them for their work, she blessed the town and its people that whenever the girls would turn the age of 18, they would find true love. You never believed it, but you secretly always wished that it was true.

“Ong’s popular with the girls now? Man, I used to get into fights with them to make them stop teasing him.”

“He is,” Daniel nodded, sliding you your food, “but he doesn’t ever shut up about you, and how amazing you are.”

Ong punched Daniel, turning red.

“Don’t listen to him!”

You continued laughing and stayed with Daniel for another hour until you parted ways. The two boys bid you farewell, and you were on your own again. As the sun quickly started to set and be replaced by the stars, you decided to walk around the harbor, stopping exactly where your father last stood.

“Dad, are you still watching over me?”

You sighed, knowing it was hopeless to even ask. You sat down on the boardwalk, dangling your legs above the water.

“(Y/N)? What’re you still doing here? It’s almost 10 PM.”

You turned to see Ong, wearing a grey pullover and black sweatpants. A pair of glasses rested on the bridge of his nose, curious as to why you were still out, and not at your friend’s house.

“Oh, hey, I’m just thinking about some stuff,” you said, looking up, “care to join me?”

He sat down next to you, as the two of you talked for hours about eachothers’ lives, the stars, and it finally got to your relationship with Hyunbin.

“He’s going to come after me, Ong, I just know it,” you said, shakily, “he knows I’m gone. I think he’s waiting for me to either come back, or to grab me himself.”

“He’s not going to get far. Remember, he has to get through me first,” he reassured, patting your back, “I promise I won’t let him get close to you.”

“Why do you even care so much? You were the only person I kept in contact with when I left, and why are you so quick to helping me all the time?”

He sighed.

“Do you really want to know the truth?”

You nodded.

“You did the same for me, didn’t you? When all those kids in our class would make fun of me, you even got yourself in trouble by sticking up for me. (Y/N), it’s the least I can do.”

“Don’t they all like you now?”

“Yeah, because of how I look. Not for who I am, they just think I’m good looking. It almost sickens me,” he scoffs, “it’s all kind of fake.”

He picked up a pebble, before chucking it into the vast blue.

“(Y/N), have you ever seen a rock before it’s in the ocean?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” he continued, “it’s bumpy and rough, and it hurts when you step on them. But rocks that’ve been in the ocean are smooth.”

“Is this a science lesson? You always sucked at it,” you teased.

“No, it isn’t, it’s a deep metaphor,” he laughed.

“The waves in the ocean gradually wear away at the rock, smoothing it out over time to get rid of all its rough edges.”

After chucking another pebble, he faced you.

“I promise, (Y/N), I’ll be your ocean. Hyunbin hurt you so many times that I can’t even count anymore, and I promise I’ll wear all of it away. I don’t care how long it talks for you to heal, because if it’s the last thing I do, I promise to glue all your broken pieces back together.”

“Ong, I’m speechless, this is just so sudden-”

“(Y/N), I’ve liked you since the day our dads introduced us to each other at the harbor. But, for twelve years, I’ve always been terrified of telling you. I told myself that I had to tell you when you came back,” he said, instantly turning red.

“I’m not expecting an answer, I just needed to get it out.”

You shook your head.

“I have something to say as well.”

“Even when I was with Hyunbin, the only reason why I didn’t become depressed was because of you. You decided to stick with me throughout all those years, and all the days where I felt like giving up, you were the reason I didn’t. For a while, I felt guilty for liking you even though I was with someone else.”

You took a deep breath.

“I don’t believe in superstitions, and I honestly found the legend with the ocean goddess super silly. But if I’m going to find true love in anyone, it has to be you.”

“Please don’t be lying to me,” Ong whispered, “I’ve literally dreamt about this day for so long, that you honestly have no idea.”

You gave him a hug, burying your face into his pullover.

“I’m not asking to be something right away, (Y/N), and I really don’t mind taking it slow. I’d honestly wait for you until the end of time.”

He held you tight, almost as if he let you go, you’d disappear too.

“I wonder how our dads would react to this.”

“Honestly? They’re probably laughing together up in Heaven,” you laughed.

“Well, it all just happened by chance,” Ong chuckled, “Who would ever have thought that the girl I’ve been in love with for twelve years actually likes me back?”

“Ong, I’m trying to enjoy the moment right now.”

“Oh, got it.”

The two of you remained next to eachother until the sun rose up the next day. Hyunbin indeed try to call you and demand for you to come home, but as Ong stated, he’d have to get through him first.

It turns out that Ong had already reported Hyunbin to the police, and you all received word a week later, about how Hyunbin was put under house arrest. You haven’t heard a single word about him since.

After confessing to each other on the night at the harbor, you and Ong were closer than ever. All of the girls were extremely jealous of you, but couldn’t deny that you and Ong just suited one another perfectly. His fan club left you alone, knowing that Ong would never let them live if they hurt you.

The two of you would still go to the shore the same way you did when you were kids. He’d give you countless piggyback rides, always insist on you to wear his jacket, and always made sure that you should never be treated anything less than perfect.

When the time had come to decide on career paths, Ong decided to become a fisherman just like his dad was, and you decided to help Daniel’s family run their shop. Each morning, Ong left at the crack of dawn, but never forgot to kiss you on his way out.

“I love you.”

“Mhm, me too.”

Life was treating you well. Like Ong had stated, he did “wear away all your hard edges.” Your skin that once had green and purple patches all over it was now fully healed, and they weren’t going to come back any time soon.

One sunny day, Daniel was working his family’s food stand as a two tourist came to order, talking about a couple they saw earlier.

“Do you happen to know that couple who’s by the shore right now? They’re so precious; it reminds me of my days in young love,” gushed the woman.

Daniel smiled, sliding the food towards the tourists.

“Yeah, I do. They were childhood best friends.”

“Hmm, that’s serendipity at its finest,” her husband mused.

“Serendipity?” Daniel asked, “What does that mean?”

“It’s the occurrence of events by chance in a happy or lucky way,” the woman smiled, “I blessed this island eons ago with it with the blessing of true love!”

Daniel stared at the lady, convinced that she was just crazy, but bid her farewell.

As the “tourists” walked away, they spotted you and Ong together by the shore, still laughing together while holding hands. The two of you ran across in the vain attempt of catching a seagull, grinning like you had won the lottery.

“Serendipity, huh?” the woman smiled, “It’s a beautiful thing.”

“Not as beautiful as you, my dear.”

The couple descended into the ocean, transforming back into their godly forms, only leaving behind traces of seafoam.

Ong and you now fell into the water, surrounded by countless sea turtles and bright coral. He grabbed your hand, pulling you closer towards him. A crowd of seahorses and starfish watched you two share an underwater kiss before darting away quickly. Giggling, you both rose back up to the surface.

“So,” Ong started, “was that our first kiss?”

You grinned and kissed him, tasting the saltiness from the sea on his lips once more.

“That doesn’t mean it has to be the last.”

[nautilusopus]

The Number I

Chapter 9: A Repeat of the Previous Chapter in a Move that Could Conceivably Be Called “Lazy”

I'm still taking suggestions on better titles for this thing. I pulled "To Live" out of my ass in five minutes after I realised I was literally right about to post the first chapter and still had the .rtf file saved as "This Was A Mistake". Nietzsche quotes sure are abusable out of context, huh?

Thank you to @auncyen, @cloud-and-tifa, @fury-brand, @limbostratus, and @cateringisalie for dealing with me pestering them about this shit.

Four years after meteor-fall and Cloud Strife still isn’t himself. The thing that haunts him comes always at the same time… and when it does, on a distant far-off world, a needle moves. Twisty AU. Contains graphic depictions of violence

She had been stroking his hand for the last five hours. Any minute now, she'd tell herself. He's fine. He's stayed together through worse. Any minute now.

She could hear the buzz of conversation downstairs. Cloud wasn't quiet, either, softly murmuring about Mother, and Her Reunion. She was pretty sure he hadn't blinked once, which was one of the less eerie things she'd seen him do tonight. She quietly reviewed the conversation she'd had with Barret on the way off the airship.

"He's in a bad way," he'd said, and she'd immediately feared the worst. So technically speaking his present state was a pleasant surprise. He was still alive. He hadn't had any relapses of the conditions he still refused to see a psychologist for. He hadn't run off to go die alone in the Wastes.

Cloud hid too much, was the problem. He somehow managed to both trust them implicitly and not trust them at all. Tifa thought that after four years he would have loosened up about it, but if anything he'd gotten worse. They'd been as patient as they could, since having a social life outside of his mother (either one, really) was a new experience for him, but Cloud seemed to be cottoning onto this. Any help offered seemed to make him wary, as though it were a trap.

He would never talk about himself unless very directly prompted either. In fact, the very concept of doing so seemed to send him into a mild panic. She didn't remember much about the boy from Nibelheim she had thought was a bit creepy when she was young, but she was certain he hadn't been like that. Cloud never talked about what had made him that way, either. They weren't sure he knew himself.

She decided to try talking to him again, to see if that prompted anything. She'd run out of conversation at hour three and didn't know if he'd remember she'd been repeating herself over and over again, so she opted for a story instead. A very old one, about a barren woman who made a bargain with the mountain for a child from the fey, and the horrible things it had done to her neighbours in the name of fleeing its mother and repaying its debt to the gods in the earth, until one day she was forced to drive a spear of mage-cast iron through its heart. She'd always been fond of that one when she was little, and had once spent an entire week drawing different kinds of dresses the mother might have worn, and different kinds of spears she would have used to kill the bargain child. It was one of those stories that hadn't quite aged well, in the same way that "cock" used to just mean "rooster" once upon a time. Not that there was anyone left alive that would catch the double-entendre.

Perhaps an old story in Nibeli wasn't the best thing to be reciting to Cloud right now; he barely remembered the language, and had all but lost the stories of the gods. (The proper gods, the ones that stoked the hearth and shaped the black earth around flame, not the twelve they worshipped here around Midgar.) It was just one more bit of culture Shinra had buried that they'd never get back. He probably didn't even remember getting his ears pierced.

Eventually the slitted pupils twitched, and shifted, and he turned to look at her -- not in the right way, not in a way a human would ever move, but he couldn't have known that. She gave his hand a squeeze.

"Sorry," he'd said, and was confused for a minute before remembering the fight they'd had over five hours ago. It had likely been minutes from his perspective.

They had talked for awhile, and things had almost felt like they had before, when they'd been travelling. It had been months since they'd had a good spar. Cloud had been giving her casting pointers, and she'd been teaching him hand-to-hand in turn. He was a fast learner. She'd have to see how much he remembered.

Marlene knocking on the door jarred her from her train of thought.

“Are you okay? I heard something loud.”

Next to her, Cloud muttered "fuck" in a voice that might have been slightly too loud, and she shot him a look before getting up and opening the door to Marlene.

“We’re fine. Is Yuffie still with you?”

“She went downstairs for drinks," said Marlene. Of course she had. It was long past ten. “...Can you come make me a float?”

Tifa considered it for a moment. It was absolutely past her bedtime, but this was a special occasion, and she probably wouldn't get much sleep knowing something was wrong with her family and they were talking about it in the other room. “Yeah, alright."

She said, before turning back to Cloud. “You’re okay here, right?”

Cloud nodded -- gods, she hated it when he moved after getting like this -- and scooted himself off the bed. “Gonna stretch my legs a little, actually. Everything still feels weird.”

Marlene led her back downstairs to the kitchen and eagerly dug a notebook out of the bag she'd brought over for her stay. It said "RECEPIES!!! by Marlene Wallace Age 5 6 7 8" on it in bright orange highlighter, and Nanaki had brought her pressed lilies from an entire continent away for her to glue to the cover. Tifa hoped one day she'd be able to take Marlene to see live ones.

Marlene flipped the notebook open to a new page and began taking careful notes as Tifa poured her root beer from the tap at the bar, then scooped ice cream into it. She presented it to Marlene, who held up a hand and climbed up on the counter, digging through the spices available until she found the cinnamon, then sprinkled a few liberal shakes into the glass and began to stir it.

"It's a new one I came up with right now," she said proudly. "They make vanilla cinnamon candies, so they should make vanilla cinnamon drinks."

Tifa decided not to clue her into the existence of lattes just yet and nodded as Marlene finished stirring and took a drink. "It sounds really good."

"It tastes good, too," said Marlene, licking a bit of ice cream off of her chin, and Tifa didn't doubt it. They'd had her making hard drinks for them at one point, after all. Tifa had begun teaching her tricks she could do with the cups. "Can you help me make a new one with meat?"

Tifa nodded, then glanced back towards Reeve, who was now discussing the election. "Sure. We can do it upstairs if you promise not to spill your drink."

She led Marlene back up to her room, where she'd been staying for the night, and she briefly considered sleeping arrangements before resolving to deal with it later. If worst came to worst they could all just pile into one or two rooms together. They'd all dealt with worse.

They spread out blankets on the floor, and Marlene upended a box of markers she'd brought with her next to her notebook.

"So, what kind of meat?" asked Tifa.

"Chicken. There's this food cart in the market that has it on a stick, and they cook it so it doesn't even taste like chicken. But not in a bad way. I wanna do something like that."

They spent the next few minutes alternating between discussing ingredients and drawing pictures of kebabs in her notebook, stealing sips out of her root beer float (which was, in fact, delicious). Marlene's stuffed tonberry leered at them from the corner. Tifa tried not to look.

"Where's the green?" said Marlene at one point. "I want to draw the spices."

Tifa felt around for the marker on the blanket, then carefully stood up. "Scooch up for a second," she said, then began to shake out the blanket. After a moment, they heard a quiet clatter, then the sound of something rolling before settling against a hard surface with a click.

"I'll get it!" said Marlene, and began to squeeze herself under the bed. Tifa could hear the sound of her rummaging, and a moment later returned out from under it with a marker and a wooden box.

Marlene began to undo the latch, and Tifa sprung from where she'd been standing, staring blankly at what was happening, and snatched it out of her hands. "Don't touch that!"

It had been the wrong thing to say. Marlene's eyes began to fill with tears, and Tifa quickly knelt by her. "Hey, no, don't -- it's fine, it's just..."

"I didn't know," said Marlene, her face beginning to screw up. "I didn't see what's in it, I swear!"

"It's not..." Tifa was staring at the box in her hands. The wood was like ice in her hands, in contrast to how its contents had felt when she'd first discovered it, almost burning hot. Her thoughts quickened.

It was insane. There was nothing this would accomplish, surely. Maybe it wouldn't do anything at all. Maybe...

"Stay here, alright?" she said, and gave Marlene a quick hug before snatching the white materia out of the box and quickly heading downstairs. Cloud said something to her as she passed him, but it barely registered. She left the bar and began walking briskly down the street.

There were four spots she knew would probably work. The little town in Mideel was too far away, as was the Candle. She was never, ever going back to Nibelheim. So that left the old broken down church.

The walk into the ruins was fairly long, and her phone rang twice on the way there. She ignored it -- she would call back as soon as this was over and done with.

The inside of the church was still warm, at least compared to the outside. There was still a little spot on the floor that had been cleared of dirt where Cloud had set his bedroll two years ago. Tifa looked at it for a moment, and knelt in the dirt in front of the pool of water.

There was a spot in the dirt, too, that showed signs of disturbance -- the spot where she'd buried her medal. Tifa stared at it contemptuously. A medal, of all fucking things.

It was the closest she'd get to being able to bury all those victims of the stigma. Victims she'd killed.

She clutched the materia tightly in her hands and tried desperately to find the knowledge of how to use it that it had placed in her head. As before, it was nigh-impossible. It almost seemed designed so that one couldn't use it.

Tifa still didn't know what the materia was meant to do. She knew what it did, but it was impossible to tell if that was the spell working as intended. What was even more unfathomable was the entity it put her into contact with in order to use it. She sat there, and she reached, and reached, and reached...

The sky was choked with grey. The infected were in the streets, their eyes like Cloud's, empty and inhuman, staring towards the swirling mass of shadowy matter above the city. Loud crashes could be heard, even in the distance. Tifa ran towards the source, dodging the people that cried out for her to help, and the claws of things that sprung out of the earth to rake at her legs. She would help. She would help them all.

The white materia clutched in her hand almost seemed to buzz, and she felt it pulling her through the ruins to a specific spot. She followed, even as the world seemed to shake apart above her head. It was drawing her towards a building -- a ratty old church, long since abandoned.

She burst through the doors, looking around for what led her there, and the air in the building seemed to thicken as she caught a flash of something in the pile of dirt towards the front -- a luminous green thread, vanishing as soon as it appeared. The

Lifestream. It had led her here? The men at Cosmo Canyon two years ago had said it would destroy whatever was a threat to the Planet. There was certainly a threat to the Planet, and it wasn't in some old abandoned church.

She stood in front of the dirt, gripping the white materia as tightly as she could, as though that would make it work more. Something was different about her using it here; the wall she seemed to have to punch through seemed thinner, or perhaps she was just closer to it. She centred herself, trying to not force the memories, to let the spell come to her, and then something caught and pulled her in, and she Saw.

Humans had long since forgotten how to listen to the Planet. They are not meant to speak to it. The consciousness at the centre of the world, of all things, the force that had lent her a spark of itself that would one day be washed back into the fathomless ocean it had sprung from, was vast, and old, and furious. What it knew was years, and depth, and anger; and for the first time, Tifa, a human, saw it all. And it saw her.

She steeled herself against it. Try. She had to try. If Cloud had survived this, so could she.

It spoke to her then, and its voice washed against her, threatening to drown her out. The white materia burned in her hands.

She didn't know if it knew words, but she began to talk anyway.

Jenova is here, she began. The Calamity from the Skies. It came here two thousand years ago, and it's poisoned you and it's poisoned us. We can't fight it ourselves.

It roiled against her. A response would have been nice. She felt herself drifting, and she tried to remember that she was standing in a church in what was left of Midgar, begging for the lives of humanity.

We need help, she told it. Help us. The stigma, it's -- it's killing both of us. That's... you need to help. If you won't give me that power, you'll need to use it yourself. Help us.

Silence again. The air around her smelled like burning ozone. Far above her and in the distance, she felt a discharge of magic -- an enormous one, if she could feel it this far away. The kind she'd seen combatants let loose on death's door, a blade in their heart, their life dripping out onto the ground.

Her heart sunk into her stomach, and she thought of Cloud, still wasting away, fighting an opponent that was stronger than ever. She thought of her friends, still trying to evacuate the city as things made of black rotting smoke clawed their way into being began ripping apart anyone unfortunate enough to be in the way. She thought of how, even if they won, Cloud would have a month left to live. Perhaps two. That they might have six, or twelve, until they were eventually claimed by the stigma as well. She thought of how this man had died once already, and would continue to manifest again and again as long as there was a single drop of Jenova left. She thought of the decrepit remains of the world and the families they'd fought to preserve. She thought of how there was nothing she could do about any of it.

The materia in her hand began to glow. The spell gradually faded from her mind, until it locked itself behind the wall again. She stood there, defeated. She hadn't managed to cast it after all.

And then the Planet unleashed its fury.

It had been festering there, for almost two thousand years, and had been building more and more over the last hundred. It had built towards the humans draining its life away and the parasite burrowing into its veins. It was two thousand years of pain and anger on an incomprehensible scale. The white materia would summon a force to destroy whatever threat remained to the Planet. Before Holy, there could have been Weapons. And before Weapons, there were the Cetra. The Weapons were dead, and there were no Cetra left alive to shape the will of the Planet, to temper and channel its force. Tifa had reached the Planet, but Tifa was only human.

By the time they'd discovered the damage done, it was far too late to stop it.

Holy burst from the patch of dirt in a torrent. When it arrived in the form of a violent maelstrom that lasted three days, it burned away Jenova with the wrath of the world She and the humans She had infested had destroyed.The rain sank into the sores of anyone unfortunate enough to be caught outside, and the flesh sizzled and disintegrated upon contact. Tifa watched, her clothes drenched, as it carved away at their bodies. One child had a patch on her arm that looked like a particularly bad rug burn. Another was missing a chunk of his forehead and part of his eye, and was unmistakably dead and stigma free. The injured-but-alive took cover inside the buildings, while anyone carried those who couldn't walk inside.

As the storm continued, she began to observe. Some were stepping out into the rain, deliberately. She watched it mangle their bodies. She watched more and more pour out, as it became clearer what the rain did. There were even more on the second day, and more still on the third.

All this she watched in complete silence. She set about moving the bodies somewhere they wouldn't be washed away.

They found Cloud eventually, when the rain finally stopped. He had been lying on the remains of a skyscraper in the ruins, his left arm and chest bloodied from the rain and from the multiple stab wounds all over his body. It had taken him another day to wake up, but he was somehow still alive. He kept looking at his arm and doing something with his mouth that she thought might have been a smile. She thought he was delirious from blood loss at first, until she noticed, exactly, what part of his arm he kept looking at, and what parts of his flesh the rain had removed.

Most people had not been as lucky as Cloud. Most people had had the sores on their faces, rather than their arms.

Tifa did not speak to anyone for a while after that. How could she? What was there to say? Few had recognised her, fortunately enough -- she had been drenched. They had aired a televised service a few days later, formally thanking her for the cure. She didn't say a word during that either.

Cloud didn't say much to her during that time, either. Or maybe she didn't remember him saying much. He seemed afraid to, she assumed. Barret had stayed at Seventh Heaven another month, joined at the hip to Marlene, who he frequently checked for sores on her arms. He would often sit by her at the bar. "You did your best," he'd say. "You did the only thing you could do."

That had been the part that hurt the worst. "The only thing you could do".

It seemed that was all she'd ever been able to do.

"Tifa."

Tifa turned to see Nanaki and Barret standing behind her. She looked at them. Barret looked back and saw the white materia in her hands. He looked back up at her face incredulously, and Tifa threw the white materia into the pool in the church in frustration.

"Didn't work anyway," she said, looking away from them.

"What in the world were you --"

"Nothing. Look, I chucked it," she continued, cutting off Nanaki. "I shouldn't have been keeping it under the bed anyway, we should've known Marlene would find it. We're lucky she hasn't gotten to anything else."

"...What were you trying to do?" Nanaki sat down and watched her patiently.

"Something isn't right." She could feel her hands shaking slightly as what she might've almost repeated caught up to her, and she clenched her fists to keep them still. "You know he wouldn't just snap like that. We know something's wrong, and we're all just..."

"You can't fight this one away, Teef," said Barret, sitting down on one of the pews. Tifa sat next to him. "Cloud can handle it in the meantime."

"Sometimes he can't," said Tifa. "He probably wouldn't accept help anyway."

"You ain't his caretaker," said Barret. "And not the world's, either."

"We used to be," she said, and there was an uncomfortable silence for several moments.

"...I am not sure the Planet would know what this is to begin with," said Nanaki. "But thank you for trying."

"No. I know that. I threw it out. We're done here." She stood up, then paused. "...Don't tell Cloud. Alright?"

Nanaki cocked his head to the side. "And what are we supposed to tell him, should he ask?"

"Not this. It'll just make everything worse. You know how he... how we -- you know how it’ll go."

“He’s rubbing off on you,” said Barret. “Thought you had more sense than that.”

“Let’s just go,” she said, and strode out the door, leaving the white materia behind, like she should have done in the first place.

She returned back to the bar and found the front room empty. She checked the back and found Cid and Jessie camped out in the back room. Jessie was asleep, but Cid was lying against the couch, smoking a cigarette. Tifa stood in front of him, cleared her throat, and waited.

Cid put out his cigarette. “What the hell kinda bar doesn’t allow you to smoke in it?” he growled.

“The kind that I live in,” she said. “The whole place is gonna smell now.”

“Think I’m entitled to one fuckin’ cigarette, lady.” He stood up and stretched. “Everyone else went to bed.”

"'Bout one in the morning. Mind tellin' me what you ran off for?"

"I thought I had a lead," said Tifa uncomfortably.

"...And?"

"And I didn't."

Cid continued to stare at her.

"It was nothing," she said, a bit firmer this time. "I wish it wasn't, but it was."

"This ain't gettin' to you, is it?"

Tifa shrugged. "We've dealt with worse and come out--"

"'Cause if it is that's nobody's business but your own, but you're gonna rip yourself apart trying to pretend everything's fine when it's not. Just look at your boyfriend over there." Tifa shifted uncomfortably at the word boyfriend, and Cid rolled his eyes. "Fuckbuddy, then. Whatever you two are callin' it."

He got up and stretched himself out with a pained grunt. "No shame in admitting you're outta your depth. Shit, we've all been that way for four years."

"...I want to help," she said after a moment. She suddenly felt very tired as the events of the day began to catch up to her.

"Ain't that the fuckin' statement of the year," muttered Cid. "I'm heading out back for a smoke. Your bed's probably full by now. No one likes Cloud's piss-poor excuse for a mattress." Cid disappeared around the corner, and a moment later she heard the screen door swing open and then shut.

Tifa removed her boots, which were still a bit muddy from the church and the half-melted snow slush up north (she'd been there earlier today, hadn't she?), and quietly crept up the stairs. She made a quick stop to her room to change into sleep clothes (which were really just some of Cloud's "civvies" she'd decided were comfortable), stepping over a sleeping Barret on the way over. It seemed nearly everyone had filed into her room. It was slightly larger, which left more space for blankets. A quick headcount indicated Nanaki was the only one missing.

She left a quick peck on Marlene's forehead before leaving. She probably owed her that much.

She checked Cloud's room and found him and Nanaki curled up against one another in his bed. If it could be called a bed, anyway. It was really more of a cot: the mattress was only a few inches thick, and there was a single blanket and a single pillow for comfort. No, that wasn't right -- there were two pillows now. One of them was hers. She wasn't sure how she'd missed it before.

She'd have to see about buying him something warmer when he wasn't looking. She knew from experience he wouldn't accept it as a gift. Cloud didn't do gifts. If anyone got him anything, he'd wind up either "paying it back" or "working it off". The actual chair for his desk had been an uphill struggle as it was. They could barely get him to do birthdays, and not just because he didn't quite remember when it was.

Tifa carefully slipped in behind him, since Cloud was already using Nanaki's stomach as a pillow -- Tifa shook her head in exasperation -- and slipped under the blanket. Cloud jerked awake and twisted around to look at her. He was still using Barret's shirt, it seemed -- he was practically swimming in it.

"It's me," she whispered.

Cloud stared uncomprehendingly at her for a moment, then nodded and rolled back over. She wasn't sure if it was because he didn't remember her leaving, or was too tired to know what was going on. She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt toward the latter.

She hooked an arm over his shoulders -- partially to keep him from jumping out the window again without her knowledge, and partially because she wanted to. He relaxed into her grip, and a moment later she heard his breathing even out.

For a moment, Tifa wondered if he actually needed air.

She scolded herself for considering it. Of course he needed air. You probably couldn't genetically engineer someone to not need air, could you?

Perhaps you could. It was possible to genetically engineer someone to be able to walk through walls, after all.

It would be so much easier to deal with if they just knew what it was they'd spent five years splicing him with. What kind of thing Jenova was, what the world it had come from was like, if it had come from one at all. Cloud had a lot of issues understanding the passage of time -- perhaps She experienced it differently? Anything that had been preying on planets for an unfathomably long amount of time would have to. And She would have to be a preditor, naturally, because she couldn't think of any bigger predator out there that would eat something that already ate the Lifestream. Maybe there was something lurking out there that ate galaxies, and Jenova was just the space equivalent of a rabbit. She certainly seemed to spread like one.

Sometimes she'd find herself thinking of Her as a disease Cloud had -- other times, as a person. When they'd been fighting Her on the ground, they'd thought of it as more of an animal. She wasn't really sure which one was more correct.

On that day four years ago, though; the sky filled with fire, the low roar of something immense entering the atmosphere, of Meteor hanging in the sky, seeming like more of a living entity than a chunk of rock as it began tearing through Midgar to reach the earth below it... she wasn't sure what to think of it then.

The noise it had been making was the worst. She wondered if it was anything like the music Cloud claimed to hear. She'd asked him to hum the tune once, but he'd just shaken his head. "It doesn't have one I can make," he'd said.

She wondered how much time he spent listening to it that they didn't know about. By the time she managed to get to sleep, the sky had already begun to lighten.

A noise roused her from her sleep. When she opened her eyes, the bed was empty. She heard the mumbling, crackling chatter of a poorly-tuned radio. Perhaps Cloud was fixing it? Then she heard a low growling, and she sat up.

Nanaki had backed up against the opposite wall, ears flattened and teeth bared. Across from him was Cloud, who was sitting at his desk wheezing faintly.

She got up from the bed and slowly approached his chair. "Cloud?"

Cloud didn't respond. The distressed look on his face quickly faded away to one of indifference. He looked hollow.

The last time Tifa had seen that look on his face it had been four years ago on the Highwind, when he'd tried to slit Barret's throat.

Then his head tilted towards her and the eyes focused on her, and a new expression appeared that looked wrong on Cloud's face. He seemed inquisitive, in the same dry sort of way one would look at an interesting bug. His arm moved.

Tifa had seen enough, and immediately ripped him from his chair and pinned him to the ground with a loud thud, twisting his good arm behind his back and applying pressure to his throat with her other hand to partially restrict his breathing. No human could match the strength of a Soldier (or something very like one) no matter how strong they were, but Tifa had the element of surprise and, unlike Cloud, eight more years of experience than him from the tuition of a trained professional. She wasn't sure what kind of training the thing using Cloud had, but she'd gone toe to toe with Soldiers before. It would have to do.

She heard Cloud grunt involuntarily as he hit the ground, but he didn't do anything to free himself. She kept contact on him anyway.

Nanaki crept into place beside them, still on edge. "There's something wrong. It shouldn't be here."

She looked sharply at him. "What shouldn't?"

Nanaki just paced anxiously. "...I don't know."

Cloud began to struggle against her then, and she braced herself against him more firmly as Nanaki prepared to pounce if necessary, but then she paused. His movements were all wrong -- not a former MP attempting to break himself out of a hammerlock. He didn't even try to blast her off into a wall; it was just uncoordinated thrashing.

"Shh... shh, c'mon, it's okay," she said, doing her best to sound soothing while maintaining the pressure on his neck. "It's okay... wake up." Could he even hear her like this? He'd never been straightforward with her about the whole thing. Might as well try anyway.

By this point the noise from their struggling and Nanaki's growling had gotten attention, and a moment later five more people burst through the door into his room. They stared at her. Tifa stared back. Cloud continued thrashing.

"Don't just stand there," she snapped, as Cloud gave a particularly spirited thrash and she was flung off, prompting Nanaki to pounce on him instead.

It took the combined efforts of Tifa, Barret, and Cid to wrestle him back into the bed. They were probably a bit rougher than they should have been, given he was a bag of broken bones at this point. She'd apologise to him later.

A few moments later, he stopped moving entirely. Tifa very carefully released her grip on his arm, panting heavily, and saw with a brief flash of relief that he quickly pulled it towards himself but made no attempt to leave the bed.

Everyone was quiet for a moment.

Tifa took a deep breath. "...You --"

"I know." He sounded tired. "I remember."

Tifa looked away and turned to the others. Barret let go as well, looking worried. Marlene was now peeking in through the doorway, her eyes wide and her face drawn. Reeve just looked grim.

"That's what that was?" she asked again.

Cloud closed his eyes. "Mm-hm."

"You in any pain?"

"Yep. You gonna break my legs next, too?"

Well, at least he was coherent. Yuffie sat down on the bed next to him and ran a weak healing spell through him. There probably wasn't much point in getting him to take anymore pain pills right now.

Barret stood up. "Marlene and I are gonna have a chat," he said firmly. Tifa nodded. Cloud rolled back over into his pillow, causing Barret to simply shake his head and walk out the door.

"...What time is it?" asked Tifa after a couple minutes of silence.

"A little after eleven," said Reeve. "We would've woken you up, but we thought you'd both appreciate a bit of a lie-in." He sank into Cloud's chair and sighed. "A good thing, in retrospect.

"I wouldn't have let him leave," said Nanaki. "I was watching."

"He could've run off anyway. It's not like you could've barred the door or anything," said Yuffie.

"I shouldn't have slept in," said Tifa curtly. "That's really all there is to it."

"I'm right here," muttered Cloud into his pillow, and everyone went silent again.

Eventually, they all filed out of the room. Tifa got up to leave as well. Closed the bar might be, but she still had dates to check and product to rearrange. Cloud caught her arm on her way to the door.

"I'll just be downstairs. Alright?" she said.

"What if it doesn't stop next time?" he said. "What if I wind up like that again, and it doesn't go away?"

Tifa glanced back at the door. What could she possibly say? She'd long since run out of fodder for lies to keep him stable.

"If I did... you'd kill me, right?"

She turned to look at him sharply. "Cloud --"

"I don't want to wind up like that ever again. I'd already be dead anyway, right?"

"I'm not killing you." He looked away at the anger in her voice, but this wasn't something she'd back off on. "You'd still be alive, and we'd find a way to fix it. But I'm not killing you. You..."

"But if there wasn't anything left to save, then --"

"There would be. And I'd -- we would find a way to do it. And you're not convincing me any other way, so you might as well drop it."

How dare you ask me that? was what she also wanted to say, but didn't. How dare you ask me that after everything?

She hoped he knew it anyway. He ought to.

She stood there for a moment, trying to come up with something else for him to reply to.

"...Why don't you come with me downstairs?" was what she came up with eventually. "You can help me check dates, and we can talk."

"Your customers aren't gonna like that I've been around your food," he said flatly.

"They don't..." She hesitated. They would know now, wouldn't they? If Cloud had been outside with no glasses, or if the paramedics had talked about what they could've seen...

"...Fuck 'em," she said eventually, with more confidence than she felt.

Cloud let out a short huff of laughter. "That's bad form. What if somebody heard that?"

"Nobody's gonna hear it."

"Well, I heard it."

"Guess you did. C'mon." She offered a shoulder, and he got to his feet with a pained groan and hobbled his way downstairs. She glanced at his swords lying by the bar and sighed. One thing at a time. At least they weren't in his room.

They spent the next few hours combing through their inventory. She talked to him for a while about the cave she'd spent several days clearing out. He'd asked a few questions every now and then, mostly about what kinds of things she'd punched, but otherwise kept quiet. Yuffie stopped in at one point, and by the time Tifa remembered she was supposed to be yelling at her for skimming thirty gil off a register she had already slipped out the back door again. She eventually got Cloud started chopping vegetables, since he at least knew how to handle a blade. He seemed to enjoy it... probably. It was always hard to tell. She didn't think she'd ever seen him properly smile once.

Come to think of it, she wasn't sure when she'd last smiled either.

[pbandjesse]

Today was really good until the end when I had a panic attack. Awesome. My alarm went off at 630 and I felt good but I snoozed my alarm anyway and then woke up later then I wanted. Oops. But it was gone. I had toast and a spoonful of peanutbutter. Got dressed, rested for a minute, and brought one of my bags of clothes to Mcad. The free shelf was so full today! I got 2 pretty crystal teacups. But Sweetp knocked on over and it broke. I was able to glue most of it together but it will only be able to be used for a plant. A good representation if my day. We have a pretty large group today but they all seem sweet. A good mix of boys and girls. A few from last year. A couple little girls who already love me. I was a bit tired but I put my best face forward. Our theme this week is portraits and so we started with a round of exquisite corpse but just faces. And then we worked on drawing the different facial features. Franny, our contact in the con ed office, came and said she might need me to work on the afternoon because the ta for that class was sick but they were able to find someone else. Which is good. I was super tired. We had a nice break. But one of our students didn’t come with a snack or a water bottle or a lunch?? Her parents gave her $4 for the vending machine. Which we don’t allow the kids the use the vending machines usually but this was an expection. Not cool though cause then we have to deal with everyone asking to go all day. I had a nice time drawing with the girls and practicing eyes and impressing everyone with my limited drawing skills. Which only look impressive to people who can’t draw. But I got to help them out and give them some ideas to improve. It was chill and nice. When we went out for lunch I almost hit Katherine in the face with a soccer ball. Oops. But she was okay I didn’t kill her. It got really hot though and i started sitting in the sun but I had to move cause I was for sure going to burn. So we all moved to the shade and talked and it was nice. It was a fun morning. I headed over to glamdoll and got myself some donuts for later and went home. My new pusheen tablet case came!! A very cute grey cat. Because I want everything in my life to be super cute. And my ear feathers came. They are like cuffs. Me and Jess are planning this forest nymph and memaid photo shoot thing and so I’ve been collecting stuff. And I love these so much. I might play around with it this week. I have a dress maybe took. I was very overheated so I got changed and had the rest of the leftover ramen. I should have probably gotten groceries today but I’ll do that tomorrow. Just not particularly interested in food or cooking right now. But I can’t afford to eat out constantly even if I want to. I read and watched some tv and tried to deal with my poor rubbed raw thighs. I put ice on it but it didn’t help much. Eventually I laid down while I had a show on but I just fell asleep. I got up and had a snack before I caught the bus for skating. We were at the other rink and I felt good and strong. I bought the rest of my badges and stretched and felt great. We got high fives from our teacher for passing our test and worked on our backwards crossovers and our swingrolls, which is a new thing. I still have trouble with backwards crossovers but my teacher held my hands literally and figuratively,and that helped a lot. I need to stretch more off ice. We also practiced our spins. Which is where I fell in both my knees. Which made me wobbly for our practice time. Not cool. I fell a few more times. With the last one I turned my ankle weird and had to get off the ice. I got a drink and got back on but I got off 10 minutes early. I felt bad. But it’s fine. Then while I was in the bus I got a very long rejection letter from a job I applied for. Which made me feel worse. I got to my apartment and wanted to put my patches on my backpack. But I couldn’t find it. And I literally looked for 15 minutes in my tiny ass apartment and thought maybe i donated it by accident and i was to hot and I just wanted my backpack and this is where i had my panic attack.I found my backpack in my laundry basket and l just laid on the floor and sobbed for a few minutes. I pulled myself together and had ice cream and a bath and touched up my hair dye and flicked water at Sweetp. He accidental knocked over the cup I used for the icecream. So glass all over my bathroom floor. Great. I think I cleaned that up alright. When I cut open my foot well know for sure. I glued that together with the pieces I could find and now I’m just chilling. I am super sore but I don’t feel upset anymore, not really. I am going to make a sandwich and get ready for bed. I hope you all sleep well tonight and take care of eachother. Goodnight everyone.

[hypnoticphan]

Arrhythmia

Summary: Scientists have come up with a way for you to tell if you’ve found your soulmate. When you are born, you receive a sterling silver cuff which has your soulmate’s pulse in it, so that you can feel connected at all times. You can also see their heart rate on the silver. When you meet your soulmate, the silver of the cuff turns a brilliant shade of indigo, so that you know you’ve found your one true love.

Words: 5.5K

Prompt: credit to phanfic (like four years ago haha) :)

Warnings: major character death/suicide, depression, drug use, major illnesses

;~;~;

Phil Lester wasn’t sure true love actually existed. Maybe it was just a hoax to get people to believe in life and to have something to look forward to in their boring, day-after-day lives. Oh, you don’t want to go to work today? What if you run into your soulmate on the way there, while they’re rushing to get to work too and they spill their hot, chestnut-coloured coffee on you and you realize that you like your coffee the same way? You don’t want to meet with your teacher for that assignment you missed on Tuesday? What if your soulmate is waiting in the hallways for their friend while you’re walking into the classroom of your shit teacher who is making you do a make-up assignment? You didn’t see your soulmate in the hallways but you didn’t do your make-up assignment either, so you get detention. You could skip it, but what if your soulmate has also gotten detention that same day? One more thing in common right?

(Love is a grandiose delusion that left him empty and soulless.)

Phil didn’t think he’d ever find his soulmate, or any of that bullshit existed. He was 27, for God’s sake, and all of his friends had found theirs, and they were always talking about how amazing it felt to finally be with someone who was meant for them, who would support and accept and love them whatever they did, no matter what happened and frankly, Phil was sick of hearing about what he’ll never get to experience. Whenever Phil thought about not meeting his special one, his breathing got faster and he felt like he had just run two triathlons without proper training.

Of course, he felt his soulmate’s heartbeat from the sterling cuff that was still silver and would probably always be. The pulse was weird; irregular. It was fine one minute, and then it would be so fast as if Phil wasn’t the one who had run two triathlons, but his soulmate had. Then the next minute, it would plummet down to nearly nothing. It was as if his soulmate was on his deathbed at all times, and to be completely honest, it scared Phil so much. It was worse than knowing your soulmate was out there but never being able to meet them. The thought of his soulmate actually dying was terrifying.

(He could’ve had him but he wasn’t fast enough; he was too slow. He lost him.)

He’d read stories about one soulmate dying and the other staying alive, and it was apparently the most painful process. Not only are you suffering from heartbreak, but since the world has become aware that there is another half to a person, it feels as if God has reached into your body and ripped out your entire soul, and then glued it back together with eyelash glue and stuffed it back into your body. It feels like your soul is always breaking and God is always putting it back together, but scrappily. It’s like learning that your grandmother has died, and then your cat, and then your mother. Three times the heartbreak, and for some people, the pain is unbearable, so they go to meet their soulmate in whatever comes after death.

Phil walked down the street to the Starbucks while thinking these disheartening thoughts. His mother had known her soulmate for three months, and those three months resulted in Phil’s conception. After the third month however, his mother’s soulmate died and she was constantly looking at her bracelet when she thought Phil wasn’t looking. It was quite sad, actually. As much as he loved his mother, he never wanted to end up like she did, with an ink black bracelet to match her ink black heart.

(He did, and it was his entire fault; he could’ve had him, he could’ve saved him.)

Phil knew he needed to go out to find his soulmate because it wasn’t like his soulmate was going to walk into his front door and propose to him right there. He went out once a week, other than to school, just to give his soulmate a chance to find him. He would go out to the shops for an hour or two, or he would go to the Starbucks down the street. It was almost December, and the closer Phil got to the Starbucks, the stronger the smell of peppermint and gingerbread and nostalgia and the cold, wintertime air got and he could feel his soulmate’s heartbeat getting faster and he thought Oh no please not here because soulmate’s souls are literally tied together, and whenever his soulmate’s heart irregularity happened, he got emotionally tired and he had to stay home from school because of how drained he got. Phil quickened up his pace so that he could find a booth to sit in and rest.

As soon as he walked in, however, he saw the most beautiful boy he had ever seen standing at the till, and that boy was holding his chest and he looked in so much pain. Phil felt the urge to go over to the tall boy and help him, but he was mesmerized by the way the beautiful stranger’s forehead wrinkled when he frowned and how his slightly chapped pink lips moved as he said I’m fine, I just need to sit down, thank you and how his long, black skinny jean-covered legs strode to the only open booth and how his alluring deep brown eyes framed by dark lashes looked up through his brown fringe and into Phil’s icy blue ones. Phil broke eye contact with the stranger and looked at his cuff, which was turning a periwinkle blue while heating up. He took a step towards the stranger’s booth and the cuff turned to an azure blue, and Phil looked up to meet the stranger’s eyes. His right hand was over his heart, and so was his cuff. Phil’s cuff was the same color as the stranger’s, so Phil took four more steps in his direction and watched the stranger’s cuff turn from an azure blue to a darker, more striking blue. Phil was only a few steps from the stranger’s booth, so he went to sit down in the booth. The stranger’s dark brown eyes went from Phil’s blue-gray eyes to the now electric indigo cuff and back to Phil. The stranger put his hand down and held his cuff to Phil’s, which was resting on the table. The electric indigo darkened to the perfect shade of indigo and Phil saw his own heart rate jump on his soulmate’s cuff as his warm hand closed around Phil’s icicle hands.

(His cuff is black now. He was too slow.)

“I’m Daniel, but you can call me Dan.” The stranger whispered in a husky voice. Daniel. Like the name of a prince.

“Phil.” He was still in shock. He’d always thought his soulmate would be a girl, but this beautiful boy who was sitting in front of him was better than any girl he could have dreamt of. Of course, love and soulmates know no bounds; gender doesn’t matter to the powers beyond the human race.

“Phil, it’s nice to finally meet you, and I hate to ask this of you since we just met, but do you have any money?” Dan winced and put his hand over his heart again. “I think I need to get a cab to the hospital. I spent most of mine that I was carrying on me on the macchiato I ordered.” Phil looked at his cuff and saw Dan’s heart rate getting faster and faster and Phil rushed to get money out to show Dan, his soulmate, and Phil couldn’t help but think that he would’ve gotten a caramel macchiato too.

“I’ll quickly call one for you.” Phil pulled his phone out and realized how much his hands were shaking, from the shock that he had found his one true love, and that there was something wrong with that one true love and that he wasn’t moving fast enough.

(He needed to dream. He needed to see him.)

“I’ve been wondering, why does your heart do that thing? It’s scared me for as long as I can remember.” Phil studied Dan, from the slight sheen on his wrinkled forehead to the way his leg shook underneath the table whenever his heart rate spiked up.

“Have you ever heard of arrhythmia?”

Phil’s heart dropped as that sounded like a serious condition. “I think it sounds familiar, but what is it?” Dan began to get up from the booth, but Phil knew that that was most likely a bad idea, so he went around to Dan’s side of the booth to help him get up.

(Dream forever. See him forever.)

“Where are you trying to go?” Phil grabbed Dan’s clammy, freezing hands and his thin forearms to steady his weak, shaking body and a jolt of what felt like electricity pulsed through wherever Phil came into contact with Dan. “Please help me outside so I don’t alarm the people in here.” Dan looked down into Phil’s eyes and Phil could see the pain in them. Phil felt himself nod in response to Dan’s request, but wasn’t really aware of it. Phil knew he was running on autopilot now, his body’s automatic response to finally finding his soulmate, but realizing that he was more sick than Phil could’ve ever imagined.

He helped Dan out of the coffee shop and onto a bench just outside of the front door. Dan took a shaky breath and started to explain his condition to Phil.

“My heart… it doesn’t perform the way it’s supposed to. It’ll be working fine one minute, then the next… it’s not. Basically, the top half of my heart “unsyncs” with the bottom half of my heart and it ‘flutters’. I’m sure you’ve felt what I’m describing.” Phil watched how Dan’s trembling fingers curl to form the quotation marks and how the left side of Dan’s mouth curled up at the end in a sad smile, and Phil couldn’t help but think about how pretty his hands, as well as his lips, were. Every single thing about this boy that he just met was pretty, beautiful, mysterious, and Phil was sure that he loved him already. The flash of indigo when Dan lowered his hands reminds Phil that of course he loved him already, this was the person he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with, through thick and thin, through sickness and in health. Emphasis on the sickness, Phil thought.

(Together. Forever.)

Dan continued to explain his situation to Phil, and of course Phil was paying attention, but he was also lost in his thoughts. Thoughts about the twinkling sound of Dan’s extremely articulate voice, the perfect pitch, not too high and not too low; thoughts about the way Dan’s lower lip jutted slightly to the side after every sentence, and the way his almond shaped eyes crinkled at the corners, and Phil couldn’t help but think about what Dan was going to look like when he gets older.

The cab pulled up right as Phil was thinking about how he was going to tell his mom that the love of his life, the person he was so sure either didn’t exist or was halfway across the world so that he would never meet them, was not only a guy (albeit beautiful), but was so sickly that he was constantly going in and out of the hospital because of some stupid heart condition that was apparently not severe enough for the doctors to help Phil’s soulmate get rid or cure it for him.

(He loved him so much. He couldn’t believe he was gone.)

Dan tugged on Phil’s sleeve when the cab honked at them. “Way too impatient, these cabs,” Dan laughed for the first time since Phil and him met, and Phil’s heart nearly stopped. This is it, Phil thought. This is love. Dan’s laugh echoed around Phil’s head, and Phil could already tell that he would remember that wondrous and heavenly laugh until the day he died.

(It wouldn’t be long now.)

“Do you think you’ll ever get better?” Phil’s voice shook with fear, shock, and anxiety, as well as a little bit of excitement from finding his other half. He helped Dan into the cab and asked the driver to take them to the nearest emergency room.

“Don’t go dying in my cab!” The cab driver said jokingly, but it shook Phil to the core. Dan joked back with the man in the front seat, but Phil was too busy thinking about his mother and how affected she had been from his father’s death and he didn’t want that to be him, but the driver wasn’t driving fast enough. Phil could feel his entire being begin to shake, and Dan must have as well, as he placed his hand on Phil’s knee. Phil looked down at the gorgeous hand that cupped his kneecap and physically felt his body, and mind, relax. It was so reassuring to know that his soulmate was finally beside him and comforting him, even though Phil knew he should’ve been doing what Dan was doing for him.

(No more comfort, he’s constantly shaking.)

They reached the emergency room and Phil helped Dan walk into the reception area after paying the cab driver, and after checking in, they sat and waited for the next available doctor.

“Do you have to wait every time?” Phil could feel his anxiety rising again, and he could barely contain his emotions. It felt like a dam inside of him was going to burst, and he was going to cry and laugh and scream all at the same time. There was so much that had happened in the past half hour that his body did not know how to process the information that was thrown at him. First, he met his soulmate, who turned out to be deathly ill, who also was a guy, but still had a smile that was more radiant than a sunrise in the crisp winter air, had eyes that sparkled brighter than all the stars on a clear summer night, and had a laugh that could resonate around the entire atmosphere and still come back to you and open your heart.

(Never again will he see that smile, or look into those eyes, or experience his laugh.)

“Yes, but I usually get moved to the top of the waitlist because it’s a heart problem I’m having. I think they have a scale on which they place the person, and then they’ll figure out your urgency from there. Or something like that.” Dan chuckled softly at the end of his explanation, and it made Phil’s heart flutter like Dan’s did, but the difference was that Phil knew that this fluttering was the result of love, not the result of an ailment that could cost him his life.

(Even though eventually, it did.)

Phil waited with Dan for what seemed like ages, but every time Phil checked his phone, it was still the same minute that it had been, only 10 seconds later. When Phil looked around the waiting room, it was surprisingly empty. The only other person was the nurse at the reception desk, and she had walked away to the printer that was hidden from their view.

“So how old are you? I guess while we’re waiting, we can get to know each other since we’ll be spending the rest of our lives together.” Phil looked at Dan, and Dan stuck his tongue out at Phil in a playful manner. How can he be so nonchalant about the fact that we’re in the hospital right now? Phil took a deep breath in and decided to humour Dan, to make both himself and Dan feel better.

“I’m 27, how old are you?” He stared at Dan’s face and unbeknownst to Phil, he was subconsciously trying to commit it to memory.

(It wasn’t enough. He doesn’t remember.)

“23, so that’s a pretty big age gap, in terms of soulmates. Do you remember your cuff being silver for four years before I was born?” Phil thought back to his younger years, but he couldn’t place a memory in his mind ever noticing his cuff colour before high school. Of course, he was distracted from the fact that Dan had used the word soulmates out loud, so maybe if he thought harder, the memory would resurface.

“No, but I suppose I could look back on old pictures and see.” Phil paused for a couple seconds, trying to come up with an interesting question before settling on the most uninteresting “What’s your full name?”

“Daniel James Howell, yours?”

“Philip Michael Lester.”

“Wow, we literally have the most boring names in existence!” Dan laughed and Phil felt the flutter again, his heart jumping to the frequency of Dan’s laughter.

(Never again though. The void is all he feels.)

“Did you ever think you’d end up with a guy as your soulmate?” Dan blurted out after abruptly ending his laughter.

“No, I always thought I’d meet a girl. But you’re better than I ever imagined.” What? Phil felt his blood rush to his cheeks, making his face beet red in embarrassment from his blatancy, and looked down at his hands that were wringing themselves, from disquietude or from mortification, he couldn’t tell. The more he thought about it however, he knew he felt completely comfortable and didn’t regret telling Dan how he truly felt. This is the man I’m meant to be with, why should I be embarrassed? He most likely feels the same way, Phil thought to himself. He looked up at Dan and he was smiling slightly down at Phil, showing a dimple on the right side of his slightly blushing face. Again, Phil’s heart did a somersault.

“Philip, I feel the exact same way. You’re already amazing to me, and I’ve known you for not even an hour.” Phil closed his eyes and let the words Dan spoke run over his body, feeling as if a hot shower was relaxing his muscles and sending goosebumps travelling down his extremities and back up to his heart. “Would you be even more amazing and run over to the water fountain down the hall and grab me a cup? I’m parched.” Phil’s blue eyes opened to Dan’s amber eyes, and Phil immediately stood up and began to walk down the hallway.

Dan had calmed Phil down so much, just by talking and being by his side, that he was able to walk down the hallway without sprinting to get back. It was true what the people advertised, that as soon as you find your soulmate, you never want to leave their side again. Phil could feel his left arm and leg getting colder, and he realized that he had been sitting so close to Dan that their bodies had been touching, and Phil felt like there was a string attached to his and Dan’s hearts, and he was being tugged back to Dan sitting just down the hallway and around the corner. There pretty much is a string, it’s just invisible and implanted into our DNA, Phil figured as he reached the fountain. There was a stack of cups just to the left, and Phil grabbed two and began to fill them up.

(His DNA is broken.)

Phil was so lost in thought about the situation that he was in that when he found himself going back to Dan, he saw two doctors running in the same direction and for a second, didn’t think about it. But when he watched the doctors turn the corner, he stopped dead in his tracks and began to squeeze the two paper cups in fear, causing the water to flow out and down his arms and onto the floor. Phil dropped the cups and broke into a sprint down the hallway, rounded the corner, and found Dan slumped on the floor, unmoving, and surrounded by the doctors and a nurse who lifted him onto a gurney, wheeled his body through the door into the emergency bay, and closed the door behind him. A nurse that was assisting the doctors caught Phil on the way to the door, explaining that he shouldn’t see this, that it was best if he stayed out here, that only family members are allowed beyond those doors, coming up with every excuse in the book, but the last sentence that she spoke snapped him out of his dream-like state.

He looked at the nurse, broke free of her grip, and showed her his cuff. “I just found him, he is my soulmate, and I have to see him!” Phil cried out, and he felt his whole body turn cold as he continued on by saying, “I can’t lose him, I just met him.”

(He’s lost him and himself.)

The nurse began to speak to Phil, but her words got lost somewhere between her tongue and his eardrums. It felt as if Phil was moving in slow motion, caught underwater and unable to breathe. He was taking gasping breaths, but all that was going into his lungs was more water and he began to drown in his own tears. The nurse put her hand on Phil’s back and led him to a chair, and Phil could vaguely hear her tell him that she was going to check on Dan and come back to give him updates. Phil looked at the ground where Dan had been laying ten seconds ago, and in the distance heard the door click behind the nurse with a sort of finality that broke Phil down. He cried and sobbed and wept, because he could feel Dan slipping away from Phil, moving between his fingers, feeling like blood or some other viscous liquid, and Phil couldn’t catch him in time.

(He’s all gone; if only he moved faster, he’d still be here.)

What seemed like hours later, but Phil knew was only minutes, the nurse came back, accompanied by a doctor. Phil felt like he was in a movie, that this was much too dramatic and sad for it to be happening to him, but it was and he needed to see it through to the end. He stood up and walked over to the doctors, meeting them halfway because they were walking much too slow and Phil needed to know how his soulmate was doing now.

“Phil?” One of the doctors asked, even though there was no one else in the waiting room and he was the only one with scintillating eyes from the amount of crying that was still ongoing. Phil nodded. “Dan is fine, and he’s sleeping. To put it in simple words, his heart had gotten tired and needed to take a rest, but it’s up-and-at-’em now. You can go see him whenever you’re ready, which we are assuming is right now.” Usually, Phil would be somewhat offended at being spoken at like he is a child, but he knew that that was the best thing for his brain, which was slow-moving from all of the shock of the past two hours. Phil nodded again, and the doctors led him through the doors and down a couple hallways, to a door that read “Emergency Bay #2” on it. Phil followed the doctors through, and spotted Dan through the curtain that surrounded his bed in a little forcefield against the world, even though Dan needed protection from his own self. His heart rate shot up faster than he thought possible, and all he wanted was for the doctors to leave so that he could be with Dan alone.

“We want to discuss the option of a pacemaker for Dan, but we can wait until after he wakes up and is feeling better.” Phil nodded for a third time, never taking his eyes off of the sliver of Dan that he could see peeking through the curtain. He never wanted to take his eyes off of him again.

(Now, all he can see is blackness.)

The doctors left the room, closing the door behind them, and Phil practically lunged at the curtains, throwing them back to reveal Dan with multiple wires attached all around his body, on his arms, chest, stomach, and legs, and Phil couldn’t help but think about how he looked like a robot. There was a chair placed on Dan’s right side, and Phil slowly moved to sit down beside Dan. Now that Dan was in Phil’s eyesight, Phil didn’t want to move too fast, just in case Dan evaporated right in front of his eyes.

As soon as Phil’s bottom hit the chair, he began to cry again, but this time it was silent. He felt overcome with emotion, fear from the fact that Dan had almost left him, stress from the fact that Dan was laying next to Phil, looking like something from a sci-fi movie, and relief from the fact that despite collapsing and being a robot, he was still here and snoring slightly. Phil reached for Dan’s hair, which had flopped down onto his forehead. He pushed it back, revealing more of his face, which had turned towards Phil. He took Dan’s hands in his own, and laid his head down on the bed next to Dan. Thoughts and images of Dan smiling and laughing crossed his mind like sheep jumping over a fence, and soon Phil was the one snoring.

(The only images now are of him empty and cold.)

~;~;~;~

“Hey, sleepyhead.” Phil’s eyes fluttered, but stayed shut. He was just so warm.

(He’s so cold. Why is he so cold?)

“Hellooooo?” There was a soft, melodic voice working its way through Phil’s slumber. Phil stretched his legs out, and slowly lifted his head up to meet the eyes peering down at him. Dan.

“How’s it going?” The casual voice that was being used made Phil slightly annoyed, but any feeling of vexation that crossed Phil was pushed away by the feeling that washed over him when Dan looked at him with a goofy stare on his face, waiting for a response.

“Oh, you know, it’s going great. Just in a hospital with a boy I just met, who just woke up from near death.” Phil couldn’t help the slight sarcasm that snuck into his voice, and he immediately regretted it. Dan didn’t seem to notice however, and tittered at Phil’s remarks.

“Not just any boy though,” Dan said, sobering up slightly. “Your soulmate.”

(His soulmate.)

“Soulmate.” Phil said slowly, trying the word in his mouth. It felt foreign, like an object that he should spit out because of the choking hazard it presented. However, he pressed on. “You’re my soulmate.”

“Yes, and you are mine.” Dan took Phil’s hands in his own and Phil felt a pleasant feeling cascade down his body, radiating from where Dan’s fingers were intertwining with his.

“Do you feel that?” Phil whispered, unsure if he was asking Dan or himself.

“Yes,” Dan whispered back, and shifted his body over. “Come lay up here with me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not going to break me, I promise.”

(It turns out, it would happen the other way around.)

Phil stood up from the chair and pulled back Dan’s covers. He swung one leg up, but before he could bring the other one up, Dan asked him to turn off the heart monitor.

“What?” Phil asked in alarm. He couldn’t believe Dan wanted to turn off the one thing that would warn them of what just happened.

“Hey, don’t worry. The beeping just freaks me out, and once an episode happens, it won’t happen for a little while again, plus they have me loaded with drugs, so I’ll be fine.” Dan gave a few reassurances to Phil, then grabbed his hand and gently tugged on it to signal that he wanted him to get into bed again.

Phil settled into the bed and laid his head against Dan’s chest, partly because that was as close as they could get, and partly because he wanted to hear the bastard heart that was betraying its owner. He could hardly hear the beats, but they were there. It relaxed him more, and Phil snuggled into Dan, feeling as if he was going to fall asleep again. The entirety of Phil’s body was now electric, and it felt extremely powerful but soothing at the same time. Phil couldn’t believe that he had lived without this feeling for 27 years. He never wanted to leave this bed; never wanted to leave Dan’s side.

(That feeling is gone. Forever.)

“What were you dreaming about?” Dan’s soft, mellisonant voice broke through Phil’s train of thought.

“You.” Phil said simply. “It was all you.” He closed his eyes and began to drift off in Dan’s arms, his head softly bobbing with the beat of Dan’s heart. As he finally fell into the arms of sleep, Dan whispered something to Phil, which was followed by a kiss on the top of Phil’s head. Phil was too deep in his almost-sleep to register what Dan had said, and the last thing he thought was I’ll just ask him when we wake up what it was that he said with a soft smile remaining on his face as he drifted to sleep.

(What he said is all that he can think about now, those words echoing around this empty room and this empty heart.)

~;~;~;~

As Phil opened his eyes from his second nap of the day, he could sense there was something wrong. He didn’t want to disturb Dan though, just in case he was sleeping, so he didn’t call his name. Phil lay on his chest for a couple of minutes before a feeling of dread washed over him. Dan is so cold. Why is he so cold? Phil reached to grab Dan’s hand to see if his hands were cold too, and felt his head press more into Dan’s chest from the awkward angle he moved himself into. At last, Phil realized what was wrong about the situation he was in. Where are Dan’s bastard heartbeats? Phil scrambled out of bed, no longer caring if he disturbed Dan, as long as he woke up and reassured Phil again. But as soon as he laid his eyes on Dan, he could tell it was an empty shell of what he once knew. Slowly, he moved his eyes from Dan’s still chest to his limp wrist, looking to confirm what he already knew was happening.

Blackness, screaming, pain, anger.

~;~;~;~

Black.

That’s what his life is now.

He doesn’t leave his room, he doesn’t eat anything, despite the pleas from his mother. He never opens his curtains, as he doesn’t want to see the springtime coming into existence. Springtime symbolizes rebirth, regrowth, love, and hope. Things that are missing from Phil’s life ever since his cuff turned jet black.

He has been contemplating this for a while now, but he knows today is the day. Laying on his bed, he thinks back 3 months. It’s been 3 months since his soulmate left his life.

The only thing that resonates around Phil’s room is the last thing that Dan said to him. He tried to decipher what it was for so long, until one night, while he was sleeping, he realized. Now it’s all he hears, along with a couple of lines on repeat.

Love is a grandiose delusion that left him empty and soulless. Of course, he could’ve had him but he wasn’t fast enough; he was too slow. I lost him. His cuff is black now. I lost him. He needed to dream. He needed to see him. If he dreams forever, he’ll see him forever. He loved him so much. He couldn’t believe he was gone. It wouldn’t be long now. He has no more comfort in his life, he’s constantly shaking. Never again will he see that smile, or look into those eyes, or experience his laugh. Stupid illness. I wish it could take me. Eventually, it does, albeit in a different way. He’s lost him and himself. He’s all gone; if only he moved faster, he’d still be here. Now, all he can see is blackness. The only images now are of him empty and cold. He’s so cold. Why is he so cold? His soulmate. That feeling is gone. Forever.

Phil closes his eyes and the pill bottle clatters from his right hand, onto the wooden floor. He can feel himself growing colder, just as Dan did. While he was laying on him, nonetheless. It’s all my fault. What Dan said as Phil was falling asleep on him is all that he can think about now, those words echoing around this empty room and this empty heart.

“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.”