#this au has been rotating in my mind like a microwave dinner for WEEKS

[butnodamage]

SCREAMING AT YOUR WYLLSTARION CAZADOR-TADPOLED AU. THE POSSIBILITIES. I AM TERRIFIED AND TRANSFIXED. zero zero pressure to write it but just your snipped has sent my mind spinning - I would love to hear any other headcanons you thought of for it. all i can think of is how cazador could possible hide a. the vampirism literally we joke about astarion being a walking poster boy but everything cazador says basically has the tag ‘said the evil vampire’

b. his massive ego - if he’s weakened like everyone else, i think almost everyone else in the party could destroy him in sparring, and on top of laezel absolutely calling him weak i wonder if he would be able to prevent himself from throwing a massive and violent fit that presumably would end with casualties

c. his relationship with astarion?? like I always wondered if astarion behaved wildly different around cazador than other people, on top of the fact that he’s never had the respite of being away from him like he has in the game - my imagining even based on your excerpt (which is wonderfully and vscerally written i could feel the dread :’)) is that he would be in full freeze or fawn mode but I don’t know how he would think about trying to make himself valuable to the party without cazador choosing for him - which i can guess would go just about one way :( plus wyll and shadowheart certainly have high enough wis to vibe check that dynamic and I cannot imagine they would come away with any assessment but a sea of red flags.

also really interested to see how this would interact with other characters’ problems - wyll’s evolving perspective on ‘who is a monster’ and being able to discern between people who seem monstrous vs people who are, especially before and after karlach would be really interesting to explore if he weren’t immediately able to clock what’s going on. and god. i don’t know whether cazador meeting mizora would be the best thing or the worst thing, i feel like they could do such awful things together but at the same time are both too much of an egotistical lunatic obsessed with power to play nice with each other. maybe they’ll kill each other. fingers crossed.

anyway apologies for the massive rant, I just think it’s such a brilliant idea and would definitely read it if you decided to write it!! again no pressure at all, even rotating the concept in my mind is a gift that I thank you for :) have a great day!

AHHHHHHHH thank you so much, anon!!! :') I haven't posted fanfiction in years, so the love this bonkers au has gotten has blown me away. I've been stewing on this idea for a while now, and I don't want to give too much away, as I would like to continue this fic, BUT…let’s scheme just a little, because this au has also had me frothing at the mouth.

In the game, Astarion's goal is to ensure his safety/place in the group. But with Cazador in the picture, everything shifts to the goal of Keeping Cazador Happy. So, yeah, I think he’d act VERY different. Sort of like how he is in the romance scene at the goblin party, where he’s clearly terrified and cagey with Tav, but trying to hide it. I also don't think that Astarion would realize right away that Cazador can't compel him. He'd keep following Cazador's orders because that's what he Has To Do. Cazador, of course, would insist that Astarion use his "skillset" to secure their position in the group. And who better to trap under his thumb than Wyll Ravengard, son of the Grand Duke? (But once Astarion figures out that he is free of the compulsions...well. Who better to sic on his Master than the Blade of Frontiers? That is, if he can persuade the Blade not to target Astarion as well.)

Cazador, for his part, would be eager to return to Baldur's Gate and complete his Ascension asap, but he finds himself infected, debuffed, and stranded in a place where he suddenly has no authority. His ego will take a massive bruising and need an outlet of some kind to make him feel more in control... (cue very bad things for Astarion).

That being said, Cazador does have some points in his favor:

Cazador is not only a vampire lord, with all the powers that entails, but also a powerful mage. So, even debuffed, he's still got some tricks up his sleeves.

Cazador is a patriar in Baldur's Gate. He knows how to play politics and manipulate people's desires to get what he wants. He could play the rich lord, kidnapped along with his "son" (a ploy that might be even more successful with an ally...perhaps a certain Tav?).

Several of the tadfools, like Shadowheart, are quite perceptive--but they also have their own secrets to distract them. There is one person I personally don't think Cazador could ever fool, and that's Karlach. After ten years surrounded by devils, she'd take one whiff and smell the bastard on him. But Wyll would likely catch some bad vibes as well. If he were to discover their vampirism, he'd be faced with the difficult decision of what to do with Astarion: can he justify killing a spawn to weaken a vampire lord, who is decidedly the much greater threat? What makes one monster more monstrous than another? Who is he to make that decision? (*softly chanting* angst angst angst)

The tadpoles add an interesting dimension. On one hand, I think, being the egoist that Cazador is, and having once been a spawn himself, he would HATE having other voices in his head. On the other, Cazador is shrewd, power-hungry, and knows how to play the long-game. He'd want to figure out how the tadpoles work, and luckily for him, he has an obedient spawn to use as his guinea pig (see chapter 2...).

No matter how it shakes out, Astarion is going to be having a Bad Time, at least for a while.