#this ask came in like a day after i got an ask misgendering merry so

[northern-passage]

god i hope this doesnt sound sexual but does M! Lea have bottom surgery??????

maybe not sexual, but still rude to ask? :(

i debated answering this, but i figured i've gotten a lot of new readers recently and decided to take it as a chance to kinda readdress a few things. no hard feelings towards you anon, i get similar asks occasionally that are far ruder than you and i assume you were asking genuinely.

i've talked a lot about Lea and their various gender identities previously and while i haven't directly answered this question before it's not a secret (and if you're a patron you will have read the snippets and seen the nude art i've drawn of him anyways). Lea has not had bottom surgery, but he has had top surgery. like i said, it's not a secret, so i would feel silly refusing to acknowledge it, but it's also not something i like to address in this way.

my rule is that if you wouldn't ask someone in real life this question, you probably shouldn't ask it about a character. yes, they are fictional, but i've found that, especially online, it tends to set a precedent that leads to people asking more and more rude and intrusive questions, and being trans myself a lot of the time it makes me very uncomfortable and typically leads into harassment. i also don't like answering them because transphobia is real and even though these characters are fictional, i don't want to potentially imply that questions like this are "acceptable" and have people walking around in real life thinking they are entitled to real trans people's privacy. IF really tends to have a problem with entitlement and misgendering and obsessing over trans/nb character's agab and genitals, which is partly why i have the no nsfw rule regarding asks to begin with.

however, to be clear, my issue with this kind of question is not that it is sexual - in fact i dislike treating trans bodies as inherently sexual or as something that is "off-topic" and it frustrates me that i have to take these precautions when discussing my characters. but, again, we live in a world full of transphobia and it makes these conversations challenging at best and dangerous at worst, especially online where everyone gets to be anonymous.

i always intended for my characters to come out in-game, as the player/character gets to know them, in an attempt to avoid that entitlement and to make it more organic (though it hasn't really worked out that way. so it goes) but i've only just recently felt comfortable drawing and writing more explicit work with Clem and Noel, and that's been kind of a big deal for me, hahaha.

so i know going forward people will be curious and this will probably come up again as the game progresses and i write in more explicit scenes, and i just want to make it clear my stance on these kinds of questions and that i tend to either delete them and/or block people that send me transphobic asks or leave similar invasive comments.

[tssidesfics]

TSSides Anti-Fairytale AU

I’m not coming for fairytales. They have their place, but as an aromantic person...I do not feel seen. And then I decided to re-watch Enchanted (pirated, of course, because fuck Disney). And then this idea happened. 

Patton was a child-king who married his best friend when forced to, and then she died in childbirth. He’s given Roman everything he could, but he’s lived his life dictated by the advisors who’ve used him as a puppet king his whole rule. He’s miserable because he doesn’t like how the system functions but he thinks he’s chained to tradition.

Roman copes with his complicated relationship with his father by questing and almost dying, like, every other week. Anxious attachment for days. Boy keeps trying very hard to find a princess and can’t seem to figure out why nothing will stick. To which Patton goes “oh. He got it from me. Oops.”

All I know is Remus is aromantic and aplatonic and exactly as chaotic as he should be.

Roman’s birthday. Ball. The classic. He greets all the noble families and he’s seen those losers a bunch before, but this time, he meets a new “girl” with a family he usually hates who intrigues him. He is not a girl and I will not be misgendering him because ew, but, gist: Virgil, transphobic rich parents forcing him to conform to gender roles, absolutely miserable, in Peak Bitch (gender-neutral) form. Roman mistakenly believes he’s cured and talks Virgil up a lot. Convinces himself he’s fallen madly in love.

Problem is, he tells Patton, who’s shocked he found a “girl” but absolutely is on-board, and then goes to the family to ask for Virgil’s hand and there’s no Virgil.

Thus begins the Mulan ripoff but openly trans where Virgil poses as a boy servant at the castle because his parents can’t get into the castle willy-nilly and it’s the safest place to be. Absolutely loathes Roman’s very existence because that dumb bitch flirted with him while he was a girl and therefore VIrgil thinks he is The WorstTM. Then Roman catches him grouching about and decides to solve this by teaching him sword-play, mostly to give him the excuse to beat on a dummy with a sword-shaped stick. 

Meanwhile Roman is just le sigh I did it again. I connected more with a boy than a girl. Why did she have to run away? Now I’m doomed to be weird.

Well then assassins break into the castle and Ever-Paranoid Virgil immediately susses them out as bad news and uses the remnants of the ball to absolutely wreck them when they try to kill Roman and his father while they’re taking a rare opportunity to chat and bond. Patton decides he is Adopting This Child, fuck you, advisors, he’s as thin as a stick, and Virgil now gets to eat with the royal family. 

It’s the first time Patton has ever actually told his advisors to go fuck themselves. It’s the first step toward a positive turnaround and it happened because Patton’s dad instincts took over and nothing in the world is more valid than that, fight me.

Enter genderqueer icon morally neutral witch, Janus, all pronouns, who’s trying to topple the monarchy to enact lasting change and didn’t want to dirty her hands right away, but honestly people are so unreliable. So he gets onto Patton’s crew as a handmaiden and excuse you who gave the king permission to be actually endearing?

Roman feels slightly weird because Patton’s calling Virgil “kiddo” and he’s not calling him his son but he also treats him very similarly as he does to Roman and Remus, which isn’t great but is significantly better than it could be, but Roman’s got a crush. 

Then Janus finds out Virgil’s trans and reveals this. Virgil thinks he’s about to get blackmailed into murdering the only people who have ever cared about him and then Janus just rolls their eyes like “excuse you I’m evil not psychopathic. I can give you a potion to make your body reflect your mind. You in?”

“Great, so my only cure to stop feeling like frozen trash reheated in a forest fire is to accept the highly dangerous bribe of a definitely evil witch! Thanks! I hate it!”

Yes Virgil memes even in a fantasy world where Tumblr doesn’t exist.

Also Virgil and Roman are bonding. A lot. They’re getting very close and Virgil even lets slip that he loves Roman and then tries to fling himself out a window. Roman gets touched, stops him, and tries to kiss him, but Virgil leans away. Roman expresses confusion.

“I...I love you, but I don’t want to kiss you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either. But I’ve...never wanted to kiss anyone. For any reason.”

“But...you still love me?”

“I do. I’m sorry.”

Roman...doesn’t feel as rejected as he thinks he maybe should? Honestly, it’s not totally a relief, but it’s just kinda...neutral. It’s not even a disappointment. 

Well, Janus is not evil and actually wants to run a kingdom (instating a committee mixed of educated rich fucks and working class receiving education) a whole lot more than Patton, who thinks she’s just...kinda awesome and very misunderstood. There’s a lot of hissing and grumbling that they’re not misunderstood, they’re evil, they don’t even have a tragic backstory, they just kill people to enact the change they want to see, just because they got ditched in a forest as a baby and was raised by a magic snake means nothing. The snake was a very loving and supportive parent.

Roman talks to Patton and Patton is like “fuck marriage rules. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck my advisors. My kingdom is a haven for the gays. All the gays. Of every color. Come here and be merry and queer.”

Virgil’s just like “yo no reason but in this new world where it’s okay to love whatever gender is it maybe cool to be a boy when the world says you’re a girl?”

Janus draws a knife and glares at Patton and Patton’s just like “even if my partner wasn’t threatening to kill me I’d say it was fine why?”

“No reason.”

“Virgil.”

“What?”

“Is there something you want to share?”

“No.”

“Is there something you need to share?”

“Fuck you.”

“You’re being defensive again, Storm Grouch.”

Virgil sticks his tongue out. “Fine. People used to think I was a girl and I have a stupid body. Happy?”

And Patton learns from Janus the fine art of Validating The Fuck Out Of Gender.

The advisors stage a coop and lock Janus in an anti-magic cage, and then at the same time Virgil’s biological nightmares track him down and steal a spelled green apple from Janus’ shop they give Virgil. You know the drill. Deep sleep like death, yadda yadda.

Well, they immediately claim the body making a big dramatic deal about how they have to bury “her” and they’ll take “her” home to see her off and it’s so tragic, just as they were reunited, when the reality is they have the antidote back home, they’re just looking for control over his life again.

Except Roman goes off. “He is staying here where he--where he will be buried under the name Virgil dressed properly and if you came anywhere near his body I’ll kill you myself.”

Guess what constitutes a totally platonic, non-kiss related act of queerplatonic true love, bitch? Fighting your transphobic partner’s parents over their dead body.

Kingdom’s retaken, sweeping reform while Patton retires to be a stay at home dad to fix his relationship with his kids. Virgil gets formerly adopted. The stepparent is actually a morally neutral genderqueer witch who runs the kingdom fairly and justly, the central love story is trans and aromantic, and my queer ass is something resembling happy.

Logan is probably one of the advisors and the only one with sense who probably starts knocking off his coworkers after the coop because they’re all deeply, deeply stupid. Remus probably spends half the story making friends with a troll he brings in to save the day in the third act.

[twinklecheeks]

Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 11

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does.  You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  

Side note: Sorry it took me over a week to post this! I just started my last semester of college and I also have a part time job, so I’ve been super tired. I’ll try to be more consistent.

Warnings! Pregnancy, Smut 

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,

Word Count: 2k

Christmas Eve 12/24/2019

Y/n: *Wakes up and stares at Jeff peacefully sleeping*

Jeff: *moans*

Y/n: *looks down and notices Jeff has a boner* Hmmm *gently rubs the swollen tip of Jeff’s cock*

Jeff: *thrusts into y/n’s hand*

Y/n: *Smirks and quietly gets out of bed to lock the door* *Pulls Jeff’s boxer’s down and sees his cock slap against his abs* *Softly licks the base of his Jeff’s cock all the way to the tip and sucks the head*

Jeff: *moans* mmm fuck.

Y/n: *You use the entirety of your palms and fingers with just how big and long he is. You hum greedily as you do this*

Jeff: *wakes up and smirks* I guess it’s a very Merry Christmas to me.

Y/n: I can suck on your cock all day daddy *winks*

Jeff: *groaning at how fast you’re going* F-fuck baby the way you’re moaning. You’re gonna kill me *bucks his hips*

Y/n: Shhh, I don't want them to know I’m sucking your cock ;) *continues to deepthroat feeling him twitch*

Jeff: Oh my fucking god baby yesss. Fuck me, fuck me, over and over. I swear I’d be fucking you every nigh- JESUS FUCK *cums inside her mouth*

Y/n: *swallows and sucks his cock clean* That was a great way to start Christmas.

Jeff: *laughs* Me cumming in you?

Y/n: *smirks* Mhmmm, I love it when you’re in me ;)

Jeff: What time is it?

Y/n: It’s 7:42am. I think your mom is already up cooking.

Jeff: Well if you want to see the Christmas parade at 11 w/ Jonah’s family, round 2 in the shower has to be a quickie.

Y/n: *looks down at his cock* You’re still hard? You just came a bunch in my mouth.

Jeff: I’m always hard for you babe *winks*

*After the Christmas Parade*

Suzie: I loved the parade! New York is so pretty during Christmas.

Vardon: Christmas is also more fun w/ snow.

Jonah: Guys it was fucking freezing outside.

Y/n: It was only 38 degrees.

Jeff’s mom: Oh good you guys are back. Marie (Jonah’s mom) and I are almost done with the food.

Jeff: Ma you’ve been cooking since like 6am. Have you had a break?

Jeff’s mom: We also did some last minute shopping/ gift wrapping. Everybody gets to open one present today and the rest tomorrow.

Y/n: You guys open presents tomorrow?

Jeff’s dad: Yeah, doesn’t everybody?

Y/n: Well in the Hispanic/ Latinx community, we call today Hispanic Christmas. So we open our presents today and then we spend the 25th stuffing our faces in left overs. We open on the 24th cause we’re too impatient and yes, we know Jesus was born on the 25th.

Jeff: Maybe we can do that w/ the girls next year.

Jeff’s mom: *tears up* Oh god you’re going to have daughter’s next year.

Jeff: Maaaa don’t cry again.

Y/n: Oh we are definitely doing hispanic christmas. If my sister comes over, she’d want to open the presents like a week before. She’s the most impatient. One year, she opened presents at like 3-4pm.

Jeff’s mom: I’m such a cry baby. Now help me set up the table!

*everybody helps set the plates and food*

Jeff’s dad: does anybody want to start the prayer?

Jeff: I’ll do it.

Karyn: Really? The last time you did it was Easter 2005 and you couldn’t stop laughing.

Jeff’s mom: Karyn.

*everybody holds hands*

Jeff: oh Heavenly Father, thank you for all that you’ve brought us. I know that Christmas is about you but I’d like to say thanks. Thank you for keeping everybody here in good health because I don’t know where I’d be w/ out them. I’m grateful for the supportive family and friends you have given me and most importantly, y/n. I know we were very rocky until recently but you brought her into my life for a reason. She was changing me into a better person and I was too stubborn to accept it. Now she’s going to be the mother of my 2 amazing daughters. Those babies already have me wrapped around their fingers and they’re not even here yet. I can’t wait for the day y/n and I get married and have however many babies you give us but don’t make it twins each time cause that’s gonna make my hair gray fast

Jeff’s mom: Jeffrey-

Jeff: okay I’m just kidding… kind of but you know what I mean. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and the rest of my family. Amen.

Everybody: Amen

Jeff’s dad: Hun are you crying?

Y/n: *sniffles her nose* NO. Maybe…. I wouldn't have thought Jeff was religious.

Karyn: Only during Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.

Jeff’s Dad: Karyn stop teasing your brother. Now that the prayer is over with, let’s eat!

Jeff’s mom: Marie and I spent all morning cooking. Also, since this is y/n’s first Christmas w/ us, I wanted to bring some of the food she eats during the holidays.

Y/n: What food?

Jeff’s mom: *shows the Pernil* (pernil is pork shoulder)

Y/n: NO YOU DIDN’T *tastes the food* AND IT TASTES JUST LIKE OUT MY DAD MAKES IT. How did you make it?!

Jeff: She asked me a couple of days ago what you eat during the holidays and I found your sister on instagram. I got the recipe from her.

Jeff’s mom: I saw that it was a Puerto Rican dish so I asked one of my friends who knows how to make it to show me the steps.

Y/n: Oooo imma try not to cry again but THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Jonah: Can we eat now

After Dinner

Y/n: I ate so much, I think I’m having triplets. But thank you once again. I was pretty nervous to come here because I didn’t know how y’all would react to me.

Karyn: Just know that when we get mad, it’s at Jeff cause he’s always the one that somehow messes up.

Jeff: What time is it?

Suzie: It’s 7pm. Should we watch Christmas movies and then open presents before bed?

Vardon: Let’s watch the Grinch

Jonah: *ignores Vardon* Any other suggestions? Please. ANY OTHER.

Karyn: Y/n what do you watch for Christmas.

Y/n: Well, my personal favorite is Jingle all the Way but the Christmas Line up in my family is usually Home Alone 2, A Diva’s Christmas Carol, A Very Brady Christmas, the I Love Lucy Christmas episode and other’s I can’t remember.

Jeff: I mean, we are in New York. Home Alone 2?

Everybody: Sure.

*After watching Christmas movies*

Jeff’s mom: It’s 9:45pm. I think we should be opening our one present before we go to bed.

Jeff: Youngest to oldest! So my niece goes first, then Vardon, Y/n, Suzie, Jonah, etc.

*Jeff’s nieces and Vardon opens their gifts*

Vardon: No way. Jeff got me airpods! Thank you *Hugs Jeff*

Jeff: You’re welcome. Now time for y/n to open her gift from me.

Y/n: Oooo okay. *opens gift and sees two little gold bracelets* what are these for?

Jeff: I always see babies w/ the small little charm bracelet. You mentioned your sister and you never got that from your parents but your older brother did. I wanted to do that for our girls even though they're not here yet. So once we pick out the names, we’ll get the charms.

Y/n: *sniffles* Dammit why do you keep making me cry.

Jeff: Cause I don’t want you to ever forget how much I love you.

Jonah: Can we move on from this sappy shit so I can open my gift.

Everybody: JONAH.

*After everybody opens their presents*

Y/n: Thank you so much for accepting me on such short notice.

Jeff’s mom: Hun we’re family now. You’ll always be a part of us. Same for the Antonyans. We know how much Jeff misses having us around since he’s been living in LA and y’all have been a family to him.

Jonah’s mom: I love Jeff like he my own son. He help us so much.

Jeff’s Dad: Y’all just have to make sure to visit us often. Get’s kind of lonely here w/ Karyn living in Kentucky, Jeff living in LA. I mean Steven lives in the city w/ his kids but we miss having all of you together here.

Jeff: I’m starting to think that having girls runs in the family. Karyn has a daughter, Steven has twin girls and now I’m gonna have twin girls.

Jeff’s mom: I mean you never know if the nurse made a mistake. They thought your brother was a girl for half my pregnancy. Then they did the last ultrasound a week before I gave birth to him and they said he was a boy.

Y/n: Oh god I don’t even want to think about that. I’m already stressed out about the babies possibly being deaf now I gotta be worried if the nurse misgendered them….

Karyn: The babies are gonna be deaf?

Y/n: Hmm?

Jeff’s dad: You just said there’s a possibility the twins will be born deaf.

Y/n: Fuck. I did say that, didn't I… Jeff, you wanna help me out here?

Jeff: Ummm. Damn we weren’t planning on telling anybody this for a couple of weeks. We got a call a couple of days ago after we did some genetic testing and the doctor said the babies have a high chance of being born hard of hearing/ deaf.

Karyn: My doctors told me the same thing. Luckily my daughter turned out fine

Steven: I wasn’t a carrier for the gene…

Jeff’s mom: We’ll love those babies no matter what. If we have to learn sign language for them, then we’d do it. I’ll fly out to LA once it gets close to the due date to help out.

Jeff: Thanks ma. Means a lot.

Y/n: Thank you so much. I don’t know if my own parents would forgive me by then to be there for the birth.

Jeff’s mom: Anytime sweetheart. My god look at the time, It’s 10:15, we have to go to bed before Santa comes.

Jonah: Haha, but santa isn-

Jeff: Jonah you better better not finish that sentence cause my nieces are here and I don’t wanna see the magic ruined for them.

Jonah: What I was saying was, isn't Santa a little late?… He should’ve been here by now…

Going to bed

Y/n: I am so stuffed. Christmas turned out a lot better than I thought.

Jeff: See, you had nothing to be afraid about. Also, good job on keeping the deaf thing a secret haha.

Y/n: Hey! It’s been on my mind since we found out. WAIT. Jonah and Suzie.

Jeff: What about them?

Y/n: they were there…. What if they tell everybody else.

Jeff: Suzie would never… Jonah on the other hand… I have little faith in him.

Y/n: I’m afraid to check my phone.

Jeff: Same. I haven't looked at it all day. On the count of 3…

Y/n: One….

Jeff: Two.

Y/n & Jeff: Three. *looks at phones*

Y/n’s phone: 82 text messages & 24 missed calls

Jeff’s phone: 77 text messages & 21 missed calls

Vlog Squad GC

David: Was what Jonah said true?

Natalie: Is it serious?

Jason: Y’all I’m so sorry

Zane: There has to be a way to fix it. My babies will be okay right?

Erin: I’ll postpone my wedding until the babies are okay

Carly: Oh no Carly and Erin jr :(

Corinna: The babies are gonna be deaf?

Mariah: Is it confirmed?

Heath: Have y’all seen other doctors?

Matt: Guys they’re busy. I don’t think we should be spamming them on Christmas.

Toddy: We’ll stop one they answer us!

David: I’ll put in whatever money you need for surgeries or anything.

Jason: Guys stop. They’ll tell us everything once they’re ready.

(end of conversation)

Jeff: I’m gonna kill Jonah.

Y/n: Oh hun, so will I…

The next chapter might take a bit because I’m still thinking what will be in it. You guys can give be suggestions and I can give you credit for it!

Comment if you want to be on the taglist!

Taglist: @elvlogsquad​ @siemprestan​ @zavidzobrik​ @galxydefender​ @iminlovewithenchilidadas​ @ilsolee​ @ranprivate @one-sweet-gubler  @sunwardsss @shamalamashams @michellemxndes

[thevoidwell]

100 Reasons to Love Vivia Nihar

Inspired by @wrongshatteredrealms and their post about 100 reasons why Destin Karn is their favorite character from Shattered Realms.  This post took a while to make, but Vivia really deserves it.  It’s quite long, I warn you.

1. She loves her country even after everything the people in it put her through

2. She is a feminist icon

3. Her nickname is “Little Fox” and that’s just adorable

4. She’s so strong in spite of her mental health issues

5. Her mother committed suicide and she still manages to go past the place where it happened all the time without breaking down each time

6. She just cares about Stix so much and would die for her

7. When she realized just how much Serafin has been manipulating her, she tried her best to do something about it

8. She is a pirate princess who also happens to be a lesbian, and honestly you can’t get any cooler than that

9. “Do I look like I care about plums?”

10. “Now would be the right time for the gardener to complain about his plum trees”

11. She has that habit of patting the sides of her face like she’s checking to make sure her mask is in place

12. She calls Merik “Merry” and it makes me laugh every time

13. She’s the Chosen Daughter of the VOID WELL, which nobody thought existed

14. The lack of patience she has with the vizers is amusing, but she takes it to an art form with Serrit Linday and it’s priceless

15. Her annoyed internal monologue about how it seems like five thousand servants have stopped to talk to her, interrupted only by another servant coming to talk to her before she mentally changes the count to five thousand and one

16. All the pining for Stix in her POV chapters with the constant repetition of “Too good for me”

17. When she saves Merik’s life by showing up out of nowhere and cutting off Garren’s head

18. When, upon cutting off Garren’s head, she gloats by saying “Come back from that”

19. Even when Merik constantly misgenders Cam in Windwitch, Vivia still has a hard time believing he’s a girl

20. Later in Bloodwitch when Cam is introduced as a boy, Vivia immediately believes it (Merik, take lessons from your sister)

21. Her own brother thinks she’s intimidating and trying to have him killed, but she really just needs a hug

22. “I could have just as many titles if I wanted”

23. The way that as soon as she realizes Stix is missing, she goes into an absolute panic because what if something happened to her???

24. How she gets chills when Vizer Sotar calls her “My Queen” because no one’s ever called her that before

25. She put in so much work for the under-city but got recognized for none of it

26. She came up with a really awesome speech but didn’t get to say it

27. When Cam is talking about Paladins and magical doorways in Bloodwitch and externally Vivia is like, “Yeah, okay” when internally she’s basically saying, “What in the world is he talking about - ”

28. She completely tricked Merik into believing that the boat miniature was actually representing a Dalmotti trade ship

29. She also tricked Merik into believing that she believed him when he lied about where the miniature was

30. When she’s just so done with Linday in the council meeting and she keeps mentally making her ideal punishment for him even worse

31. Until she’s thinking about how he should be drawn, quartered, eviscerated, and burned to ashes and she gets distracted from the actual meeting

32. How flustered she gets when Stix kisses her on the cheek

33. How she constantly refers to that moment as “the kiss” even though it wasn’t a real kiss because it was so emotional for her

34. She quite literally jumps into a valley filled with seafire to save the people of Lovats

35. When Merik saves her from dying as she plummets through the valley of seafire, she acts like it’s an everyday occurrence and proceeds to just go about her business

36. She has a hard time trusting Cam at first, which makes sense, but as soon as he mentions the message that Stix sent her, Vivia immediately trusts him because it’s better than risking the chance that Stix might not need help

37. “You may lower your water” “Oh may I?  I’m so glad to have your permission”

38. She has plans to put more women on the High Council once she’s officially queen

39. When Vivia, a person who has never had a real conversation with Safi, knows within about five seconds that the reason Safi wants Marstok to trade with Nubrevna is because of Merik

40. Over the course of Bloodwitch, she goes from barely interacting with Vizer Sotar to going to talk to him for literally everything and asking for advice and help

41. Anybody could say any random thing and she’d find a way to connect it to the fact that Stix is perfect and amazing

42. When she gets the message from Vaness suggesting a meeting over trade, she just starts laughing because she thinks it’s a trick, then when Stix says she should go she’s like “okay”

43. That kind of infuriating thing where she writes a message to Vaness via the Wordwitched paper after telling the empress she got home safely and we don’t get to know what she said

44. “You can keep [the pencil].  I have others” “As do I.  We’re not that poor”

45. How she bickers with Vaness for well over two pages about whose fault it was that the Truce got broken and who needed help more

46. When she thinks Merik is dead, the extent of her reaction is pretty much “Aw, that’s too bad” but when Stix goes missing for a day, she’s in an utter panic and asking Vizer Sotar where she could possibly be

47. How she learns to stop apologizing to Serafin and stop feeling guilty over the things he does to her

48. When she’s anxious over something, she stops and remembers [insert advice from her mother].  It doesn’t sound like a lot but when you remember that the whole country thinks her mother was insane and you remember their mother-daughter relationship, it’s sweet

49. That moment in Bloodwitch where her thought process is basically “I like how Stix always calls me ‘sir,’ it shows we respect each other but not in terms of royalty...wait why is she calling me ‘Your Highness’ now, does she not think we’re friends anymore?...oh thank God she called me ‘Viv,’ we’re friends for sure”

50. Nubrevna needed food, and it wasn’t getting food, so she just decided to steal it

51. She’s unbelievably calm when Merik holds a pistol to her head

52. She tries so hard to stop the Fury but doesn’t realize that the Fury is a reincarnated Paladin who happens to be pretty much immortal

53. For all those times Merik thought about how she treated her crew like servants, you don’t see her chaining people to the deck for 10 hours at a time

54. She is shameless about her piracy because she knows it’s for the greater good of Nubrevna

55. When she orders the generals to do something and they refuse, and she realizes that her crown was taken away and she hadn’t even been there for the vote like...poor Little Fox

56. When she has that realization that Jana had managed to bear with the shadows instead of nurturing them as Serafin had, and that made her even stronger than him

57. “Vivia was ready to be Queen” yes!!!

58. No matter what Merik does, chances are her response would be “ugh” or rolling her eyes because they are Siblings™

59. She doesn’t have as many of the action or fight scenes as the other characters, but I’m still always so excited for her next chapter because she’s just so amazing

60. When she decides it’s time to stop trying to be a good daughter and start trying to be a good ruler

61. When she mentally agrees with Vizer Sotar that Cam’s “door” is, in fact, a wall

62. When she’s simultaneously annoyed and impressed by how much clay and water Vaness put out before their meeting to make her feel safe against the empress’s Ironwitchery

63. That trick she does with the water at the meeting with the vizers

64. She reminds the High Council that it was Jana and not Serafin who signed the Truce, so he should not get the credit

65. When she stands up to her father and says that there is no way he’s fit to lead an army after having almost died

66. “I decide who holds the title of Admiral and I haven’t appointed you”

67. When she basically tells Serafin that he’s a pathetic soldier and he exaggerated all of his accomplishments, like Vivia, you tell him

68. The internal jealousy when she thinks Stix is seeing someone else

69. When she canonically thinks that Vizer Sotar is the only one on the council who has a fully operational brain

70. She does such a good job of pretending that Merik is dead at his funeral

71. For all she was talking about how the meeting with Vaness would be pointless, she actually stayed in touch with the empress and it’s a good thing she did

72. For that matter, she didn’t give up on Vaness’s negotiations when the empress had to end their meeting abruptly to talk to Habim

73. She isn’t physically described too much in the books, so the reader gets to have their own image in their head of what she looks like, more or less

74. Even though she’s proven to be good with a blade, most of the time she honestly doesn’t need one because of her Tidewitchery

75. When she sends Linday off to do something menial just so she can have a moment alone, but (unfortunately) he barks at some servant to do it instead, and she has to put up with Serrit Linday for even longer

76. When she internally calls Linday “slimy”

77. She stays so remarkably composed while the vizers tell her that her throne has been reclaimed by Serafin, even though her life is falling apart

78. She still goes to Jana’s garden sometimes

79. Most of the country thinks she is weak because she’s a woman and because her mother committed suicide, but omg Vivia can GET THINGS DONE

80. When Vaness dropping the pencil is actually reassuring to her because it means that she’s a human and not 100% perfect, 100% of the time

81. Her friendship with Stix is just amazing - so much mutual respect and support

82. Her self-esteem is nonexistent, but Stix trying to boost it always seems to make her day

83. She worked so hard to get the food for Nubrevna that it was so heartbreaking when she realized it was all for nothing

84. For that matter, the same goes for her efforts for the under-city

85. In Windwitch she mentions how she hates spiders, but later she gets a spider off Merik when he doesn’t notice it’s there #SisterlyLove

86. After Stix kisses her on the cheek, she literally just stands there because she’s just so 😍 overwhelmed 😍

87. When Serafin jokes about Vivia possibly having arranged for Vaness’s death and she’s horrified at the idea but externally is like “yeah...ha ha ha”

88. When she was a kid, she found an abandoned room in one of the palace wings and she decorated it herself and called it her fox’s den, which is the cutest thing ever

89. When she realizes that the Void Well is the Void Well and she knows she should bring her father down to heal him but some part of her doesn’t know if she should...she’s just so confused and, I repeat, really needs a hug

90. That moment where she’s so busy that she doesn’t try to put on a façade and Stix actually notices and she’s just so touched

91. When Vivia decides that even though she doesn’t know Cam, there is no way she’s going to stand there and do nothing while Garren cuts off his finger

92. When she has no idea what just happened but she’s glad she saved Merik’s life, so this one time she has no regrets

93. When she is so overwhelmed by all the negative things happening that she thinks to herself that this must be what drowning feels like, and it’s just so painful to read

94. That moment in Windwitch where she’s so scared that something might happen to Merik or her crew and she feels like she’s somewhere between Serafin and Jana and she doesn’t know which side is the better one, so she makes that decision to save the city even though she thinks it’ll kill her

95. When she manages to start over with Merik and put everything in the past

96. How all of her irritation towards the vizers goes out the window whenever she talks to or thinks about Stix

97. How she’s so frustrated by Vaness at first but by the end has a lot of respect for her

98. The way she acts in front of the council in comparison to the way she acts when she’s alone

99. She’s part of Vix, an amazing ship!!!!

100. In conclusion, Vivia is such an incredible character and deserves all the love in the world.  Thank you for reading 🙂

[evelyntransitions-blog]

Day 55 Taking the good with the bad

Both yesterday and today were heavy work days. Yesterday in particular was hell due to some scheduling mishaps. The lady who schedules me typically does a good job, she just fucked up REALLY BAD this time. I was left on a closing shift with one of our older co-workers until 10pm. Needless to say from 7:00pm till 11:45pm we were swamed with customers. Just the two of us. She forget to have a 9′o clock. The manager for the night in an attempt to be responsible for the customers decide to call me off my lunch to help them. 12 minutes out of my half an hour lunch, just what I needed in all the stress. From where he was standing I couldn’t blame him, but all things considered i’d have been closing constantly during the holidays, and with the last heavy day I had excluding my lunch, this happening today practically threw me over the edge. I was ready to cuss up a storm. I let every customer know I was pissed though, as politely as I could. I wasn’t able to get all my closing work done that night, but I did take off my last break early to get boxes. To add a fucking on top I had a couple who checked out three minutes after we closed, that I wouldn’t had even gotten around to if I wasn’t running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get things done and running late to clock out. Lucky them. On the sort of bright side it snowed that night on the way home from work. Heavy enough where it was a little harder to see but light enough to where the roads weren’t slick, and it could be enjoyable watched from the comfort of my drivers seat, as I irresponsibly scarfed down warm fast food fries. I couldn’t bring myself to cook that night after all the bullshit.  Today (technically not today because it’s roughly 1am) was different. Got to work  early to grab some food from the work sponsored pot luck, which I forgot to bring something for...oops ;u; Got on in a timely manner. Took a hot steamy poop somewhere in between there due to gorging myself on food, and guess what? When I asked to leave for the bathroom the manager just said “Go ahead” as opposed to “Can you wait? or Can you make it quick? or even “Do you mind just taking your break now?” Dealing with the company being too cheap to pay for their employees basic human functions was not on the agenda today. Almost all the customers were nice and an old lady told me she liked my hair, and kept begging me not to dye it blonde in the future. Kinda funny. 

The only things that bothered me was the mild annoyance of one of the managers seeing if I could stack potato chips on these removable/adjustable shelves. Stacking was easy, adjusting almost made me scream. The other thing was one girl who came in after the old hair gal’ who was like “you can do x thing with your hair. Well you might not worry about this other x thing because YOU’RE A GUY.” AHHHHHH. I kinda just let out this depressive “oh”. The girl was really nice and asked what was wrong, but the dysphoria kicked in really hard and my energy to tell her was just shot. All of the depression in one short instant. It’s weird, I get a lot of customers, particularly male who misgender me without knowing. This isn’t unreasonable at all despite how much I loathe it because frankly, I don’t do anything to try to pass as female all that much at work. There’s a lot of “thanks bud” or “you’re the man” it’s endearing. A lot of guys have a natural firm respect for other guys, the other ones try too hard to be intimidating and just wind up looking extremely insecure or just make one mildly uncomfortable in dealing with them. Nonetheless the dysphoria doesn’t set in. In this particular instance however, I found myself feeling more like shit than ever. I think it was the following “YOU’RE A GUY” it was unbrief. That and I was hearing it from a girl, that made it worse. Like, I want to fit in with girls, particularly young college age girls, and if one exclaims i’m male without a second thought, it kinda hurts deeper. It makes my existence feel empty. That’s the only way I can describe. Physically I about threw up and my body just kinda felt gross, like goo. Like I was going to melt into the dry dusty sales floor, and be one with the dirt. My breathing growing ever heavy I could barely bring myself to check people out. The temptation to call the manager and say “I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM AGAIN. I NEED TO DRINK WATER. EVERYTHING IS CLOSING IN. I CAN’T EXPLAIN. PLEASE. YOU GUYS SAID YOU’D HELP ME WITH ANYTHING RELATED TO MY TRANSITION, DYSPHORIA IS PART OF THAT.” It was obviously anxiety too. I grinned and beared it though. Just kinda blanked out so to speak and checked out customers, as a safe assumption. After I got done with the work day, I got some more food.  Headed home and upon arriving back at the apartment I found my roomate and her boyfriend watching the television program titled Drake and Josh. They always make things better. I remember doing a bit of improv with her boyfriend after that, trying to get him to take a peice of gum I got from work (it was part of some work gift thing they had in the break room). He hates gum, but the improv got him to eat it. I’m not sure how. Played Pokemon after that, still am. Good shit. Oh and I got a text. My best friend said I could stay over at his house on Christmas Eve after I texted him about it earlier. I’m not sure if i’ll post on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, but yeah... MERRY CHRISTMAS...in advance