#this also reminded me i wanna watch the dressmaker again

[kuroimarzipan]

stealing this bc i saw it pass my dash and then put in the thought as to what movies i would put on here so now im not about to let the thought exercise go to waste

[simone-garnett]

Title: the one where they’re f.r.i.e.n.d.s. word count: 12 360 rating: M. referenced sex but nothing explicit. Information: day vii of the killervibe fic week. friends to lovers, or as i prefer f.r.i.e.n.d.s to lovers.

           ao3  //  ffn

Iris and Eddie decide to get married in London.

It is an interesting location, and their uncertain about committing to it. But the others are completely supportive of it. And it is a small group of them; Eddie alone in the world, his friends also Iris’. And they deserved something lavish, something extravagant.

And so they all travel there, Iris and Eddie, Joe, Barry, Caitlin, Cisco, Wally, Jesse and Linda. Harry stays behind in Central City, mumbling about the city needing someone to stay and watch over it, STAR Labs needing at least one person to maintain it during the week that they would be gone.

(Cisco leans into Caitlin while Harry rambles away, telling her that Harry was secretly afraid of flying. 

She struggles to stifle her laugh, and she is sure Harry heard, the older man pausing mid sentence, eyes scrutinising her before he continues on.)

And after months of planning and organisation the week comes, the group arriving in Heathrow in the early hours of the morning, sluggish in their movements as they collect their luggage and hail a taxi. They require a few between all of them. Caitlin and Cisco manage to share a taxi between them, Cisco rolling his neck the entire cab ride, bemoaning the fact he had forgotten his neck pillow in America. She is more asleep than awake, her head drooping down before she manages to startle herself awake. It takes ten minutes before Cisco sighs, a hand on her shoulder as she falls easily into him, allowing herself to be overcome by sleep. 

It is a far too short trip, Caitlin muses, being shaken awake by Cisco when the taxi is in front of their hotel. Or at least, Cisco is a really comfortable pillow and she wonders if she can convince him to let her sleep against him for a few more hours.

He does. 

The pair of them unload their luggage and pay the driver, Cisco sending off a text to Barry to not disturb them before they both crash Cisco’s hotel room, his arms open as she crawls to him, Caitlin asleep before she properly settles against him. The vibration of his phone alarm a few hours later has him reaching out, hitting snooze before falling asleep.

But she cannot ignore it a second time, Caitlin reluctantly pulling herself away, a drowsy thank you to Cisco as she slips out of his room and opposite the hall to her own.

He feels colder laying in the bed without her, feels strange, wrong.

And Cisco can’t go back to sleep.

The week is spent in a mixture of helping Eddie and Iris with the final details of their wedding and sight seeing around the city. It is all beautiful, Caitlin getting misty eyed as she sees Iris in her wedding dress, a vision of white, a breathtaking smile on her lips as they nod to the dressmaker.

He had been responsible for ensuring the church was ready and prepared for the weekend, and Caitlin catches Cisco before he goes sleep one night, his eyes alight as he describes the location to her.

She sighs wistfully at the description, mind wandering as it paints an illustration of the location. He cuts himself off the moment he realises what she’s doing, his smile falling a fraction and then falling completely. Their goodnights are tainted with bittersweet memories, of another church which was going to hold a wedding, but instead had a funeral.

Sleep comes to them eventually, but it comes with restlessness and memories they would prefer to be forgotten.

They have an engagement dinner the next night, the group booking themselves at an exclusive restaurant, with large price tags and small portions. But it is worth it, a warm environment and laughs and an explosion of flavour on their taste-buds.

It’s wonderful, but then there is Eddie and Iris feeding each other dessert, the pair making faces at each other as they spoon the cake into the other’s mouth, laughing at the reaction. They distract her from her own dish, chocolate mousse sitting abandoned as she watches them be in love, so utterly in love.

“Do you think I’ll ever get that?” The words were supposed to stay in her mind, but they slip out, Cisco sitting beside her, catching her words. 

“Of course Caitlin.” 

She sighs, longing looks at the engaged couple, subconsciously rubbing her bare finger. The action is stopped by Cisco, his hand covering hers, a sympathetic look on his face as he pulls her closer, Caitlin resting her head on his shoulder. They don’t need to exchange words, Caitlin entwining their fingers together, a soft exhale leaving her lips.

Ronnie was on her mind, on both their minds now, the wedding she had planned never occurring, a funeral taking place instead. It had been years ago, but weddings were always a difficult thing to endure, always reminding her of what she was denied, what she longed for. “I don’t think so.” It comes out with a choked sob, her chair scraping against the floor as she pushes it back, rushing to her feet, an excuse on her lips about needing the bathroom.

He catches up to her, Cisco willing to follow her to the ends of the earth. The corridor where the bathrooms are located is as far as he needed to go. “Hey,” he calls out and she stills, shoulders up and arms pulled into herself. His hands are warm on her shoulders and she turns easily as he guides her, spinning her around to face him. But her gaze is concentrated on the ground below, chin pushing into her neck as she avoids even glancing at his feet. “Hey, look at me.” She does, eyes so open, her heart vulnerable. And he feels his shatter at the pain on her expression, the glossy sheen over her eyes making her eyes shine in the candlelight. He is barely aware of his thumb stroking the bare skin of her shoulder, or her hand resting on his chest, over his heart. “Caitlin, you’re a beautiful, wonderful, stunning, intelligent person. And anyone would be lucky to call you their wife. So none of this crap okay?”

She replies with a hug, Caitlin pressing her face against the crook of his neck, her arms tight around his torso. It takes him by surprise, Cisco pulling her closer, breathing deeply as the hug lingers. “Thank you,” she whispers, lips brushing against the skin behind his ear and it takes all his willpower to not shudder at the touch.

She pulls her face away, and he meets her gaze. “Anytime Caitlin.” Earnestness permeates his tone and she smiles for the first time that night. He doesn’t want to leave her side and she doesn’t let him, Caitlin gravitating to his side throughout the night, talking to him, touching him.

She relaxes with him and by the end of the night she is giggling carefree at his corny jokes. And he knows they are, but they bring a smile to her face and grace his ears with her laughter, so he considers them some of the greatest jokes he knows. 

But he hates that it is as they are entering their hotel rooms. They drop Barry at his room, their own a few doors down. And soon they are standing in front of their rooms, Cisco on one side, Caitlin opposite. The hug goodnight gently and quick and he lets her go, lips quirking into a smile as he says goodnight, taking the few steps to his room.

He is stopped with a hand on his shoulder, small and dainty and Caitlin’s. Cisco turns instantly, head tilted. “The night’s still quite young,” she starts hesitantly. “And the wedding is happening in the afternoon.” He doesn’t say anything as she pauses again, lips pursed as she tries to get her words out. But then finally, “do you wanna get drunk?”

“Alright, so if you’re gonna get smashed and laid... who are we going with here?”

It had taken them a few drinks before the idea arrived to Cisco, the man jumping up at the idea, startling Caitlin as he beams at her. The club they had found was everything they were looking for, strong alcohol and a good beat enough to convince them to stay. She rejects the idea outright,  no one in the club taking her interest. He pouts, complaining that she hadn’t looked, reminding her that it was for her benefit, and so she gives a cursory glance around before affirming her previous statement.

No one here was that interesting.

He swears to prove her wrong. All she needs to is go along with the idea.

Caitlin had then nodded slowly at his idea, going along with it more for Cisco than herself. But he was certain it would help her mood, endorphins and wonderful memories formed at this wedding hopefully enough to dampen the sting of her past. So he had dragged her to a booth, somewhere isolated where they could check out the strangers in the club.

She sits down beside him, more interested in her drink than the other people, but he carries on determined to find someone for her.

“Oh!” Cisco looks excited. “That guy looks cute.” Caitlin barely spares him a glance before nodding. “Caitlin,” he whines. “You have to look at him.”

She does this time, her gaze slowly raking up him, lips moistened with her tongue as she runs her eyes back down him. And it leaves Cisco feeling unsettled, his best friend blatantly checking a person out with the intention of seducing them. He quells the feeling, the good of Caitlin of more importance than his emotions.

“He’s good,” she concedes. “But I haven’t really flirted with anyone in a while. Don’t think it’d go that well.”

“Oh.” And he realises she is right. “Okay, practice on me then.”

That startles her, the empty cup slipping from her grasp, falling on its side and rolling on the table. “What?” Her voice is hoarse and he doesn’t get why.

“Flirt with me. I mean, who better to give you advice?”

She bites back a retort and he can see her push it back. “Are you serious Cisco?”

“Yeah,” and he sounds less confident, he feels less confident. But he wants to help her, Caitlin’s eyes searching his. And whatever she is looking for she finds it, a resolute look crossing her face.

No words come from her mouth, Caitlin giving him a critical look before it slips away. He feels nervous, heart rate picking up and she hadn’t yet made a move. She slides closer to him, her curves pressing against his side as she cups his chin, turning his head to look at her. It must be the lighting because her pupils appear blown, eyes dark as she drinks him in. “Hey handsome.” It is a throaty whisper and his hands itch to hold her, Cisco clenching them by his side, desperate for restraint. 

He is in over his head already and she has barely started. He wonders how he would ever be expected to forget this moment.

Her hands are normally so cold, but now they are burning through his shirt, fire left in its wake as she runs them over his torso. “Do you remember asking me whether I’d date you if you were the last guy on Earth?” It’s a strange pick up line, he thinks. But the memory is on the forefront of his mind now, Caitlin laughing at the question, a teasing smile on her lips as she calls him her brother.

It had stung a bit, though not more than the jellyfish had her, he remembers with a smile. 

She leans forward, hot breath ghosting his skin, lips brushing against his ear lobe. “I lied. And when you asked me if I wanted to take any of the guys home in this club and I said no.” Her hand reaches his neck, runs itself through his hair. And he grumbles deep inside his chest, the most delectable noise leaving Caitlin’s throat as she hears it, as she feels the vibration against her own chest. She leans into him, and he can feel her every curve, is sure that if he’d only look down, he would see a few as well. His hands find her hips, holding her firmly against him, praying she couldn’t feel him stiffening underneath her. 

He is looking up at her and oh, he realises belatedly, when did she move from beside him to on top of his lap? She is straddling him now, her hair falling over the sides of her face, blocking them off from the world. “What about that?” His voice is strained and she is cruel, rolling her hips against his erection. 

Her lips skim across the line of his jaw, barely touching his skin, only enough to have sparks erupt with her touch. And he wants to growl at her to commit, because this teasing was driving him crazy. “I was lying then too.”

“Oh?” he forces out, artificial lightness injected in his tone. Because he can’t make any assumptions, can’t be lead by his emotions and feelings in a time like this.

“Yeah,” she whispers and they are nose to nose, lips  touching whenever she spoke, just a touch, but enough to send fire through his veins, enough to steal the oxygen from his lungs. “Because you were here.”

It is wet and messy, their first kiss, and he can taste the fruitiness of her cocktail on her tongue, is sure she can taste his beer. There is no careful treading near the boundaries of their friendship, they storm across the line drawn in the sand, blowing it away as they made out in a darkened and isolated area of the club. Every fantasy Cisco had about kissing her, during those hours right before dawn where his mind would wander to things he normally denied, even to himself - all of them imagined their first kiss to be sweet, shy touches and gentle caresses. He had never imagined it like this. Rough. Frantic. Intoxicating. His tongue sweeps into her mouth, swallowing her moan, holding back his own as she grinds against him. And he can’t have enough, his hands holding her body against his, one drifting up to her hair, Cisco tangling his fingers in her hair. It’s perfect, she’s perfect. And he doesn’t want to pull away, not even to breathe, not if she may come to her senses and realise she could have any guy in this club easily. Including him.

They do eventually pull away, Caitlin biting his bottom lip as she does so, tugging it before letting it go with a pop.

“That was great practice,” she manages through laboured breaths, Caitlin’s fingers slipping underneath his shirt, dragging a nail lightly against the bottom of his stomach, just over the top of his pants, and she watches his reaction. His hips jerk up instinctively, eyes burning. “But I really think I need to practice some more.” Her eyes are dark and lips swollen and he is so totally screwed.

He gulps in a breath and she is holding hers in anticipation. “I’ll call us a cab.”

He wakes up in his hotel room, naked and aching in all the best places. And not alone. Her head is a nice weight on his chest, hair spread across her back and his neck, tickling his nose. They had sex together. Multiple times. And, he can’t help but admit, it was magnificent. But of course it would be, they knew each other for years, knew the other like they knew themselves, so of course sex would be no different, each inch of skin a new mystery they would easily learn and love.

A question floats through his mind, Cisco wondering whether he should wake sleeping beauty from her slumber. He decides against it - he would enjoy as much peace as he could be afforded and deal with the fallout later. Now though, now he will bask in the memories he was granted.

It lasts all of five minutes, a knock on the door waking her up. It’s comical, the way her head lifts from his chest, eyes wide and she looks like she is going to panic, she is panicking. He doesn’t think about his actions, Cisco pulling her head back against his chest, pulling up his blanket until it is covering her body up.

And then Barry strolls in, bouncing around. “Dude, what are you doing? Iris is getting married today!” The glee in his eyes is a sharp difference to his reaction to that of her dating Eddie, Barry now fully moved on from his crush on her, opening up his heart again.

“And you’ll be the prettiest bridesmaid Barry,” Cisco says drily, but the barb misses, Barry grinning harder at the words.

“Thanks Cisco.” Barry looks as though he wants to say something more, but Caitlin is still hiding underneath Cisco’s blanket, she is still pressed up against his body and she is most definitely still nude while doing so.

“So don’t you think you should be, you know, actually helping Iris right now Bar. I mean, isn’t that what being the maid-of-honour means.” And his eyes widen, a curse leaving Barry’s mouth as he runs out of the building at top speed, the door slamming behind him.

It is only when he’s left alone Cisco relaxes. But he’s not alone, Caitlin’s head darting out from the blanket, head turned to the door before twisting back to Cisco, gaze dropping down to his naked chest before immediately flickering back to his face, eyes wide and cheeks red.

“We slept together.” He can’t tell if she is surprised or horrified. He thinks it’s a mixture of both.

“Yes.”

“You and me.”

She still is leaning into him, her hand resting on his chest as balanced herself on him. “Pretty sure.” His voice is a little strained, but to be fair she is so close and it’s early in the morning and all he wants to do it touch her skin.

“We slept together.” She is panicking, voice shrill and loud and he needs to calm her down. 

He pulls himself up into a sitting position, Caitlin leaning back, sitting on her legs, breathing heavy. “Alright Caitlin, I think you need to breathe for a bit. Copy me,” And he does exaggerated breaths, hands on her shoulder as he holds her steady and together. She copies him, and soon she is breathing normally, a grateful smile on her face.

“You okay?” And even in this situation he is soft with her, Cisco taking her hand in his, squeezing it gently. She gives him a small nod, and he breathes a sigh of relief. “Okay good. Also do you mind putting a shirt on. Not that I don’t mind the view, I do, it’s just...” He drifts off Caitlin having glanced down and realised the state of her undress. She scrambles out of the bed and he dutifully looks away, laughing as she picks up the first shirt she can grab - his - and slips it over her head. She runs wildly around, her bra hanging on the bed frame, underwear missing and prepares to leave. The pause at the door gets his attention, hair flying and her head turns to face him.

“We need to be downstairs in two hours Cisco.” Then she slips out the door, her hotel room opposite his own, the key in her hand.

And she disappears, leaving him and his thoughts alone. Collapsing back on his bed he sighs. This would go one of two ways, and both paths frightened him. 

She was early to the chapel. He doesn’t think she would be, but that was a stupid thought. When was Caitlin ever late for anything? She’s like a nervous cat, jumping at his presence behind her, skittish and unsure how to proceed. “Hey Cisco.” She sounds happy, bubbly. But it is all wrong, it isn’t genuine and Cisco hates it.

He sighs, taking her hand in his, fiddling with the ring she was wearing on her right hand. Contact seems to be enough, Caitlin deflating, a more real version of her taking its place. “We should probably talk about last night.”

Invisible hackles rise, but his hands tighten on hers and she doesn’t run away. That’s a plus, he thinks. “There’s nothing to talk about.” She sounds frosty, but that is only surface level. She couldn’t hide her emotions from him, not her nervousness, not her fear, not from him. “We were drunk, that’s all.”

He scoffs at her attempts to brush it off. “We weren’t that drunk.”

“It might ruin our friendship,” she says pleadingly, though he wasn’t sure what she was pleading for. “You’re the most important person in my life Cisco, I couldn’t imagine my life without you.”

“Alright then.” He nods to himself, an idea forming in his mind. “Well then, what about this - what happens in London, stays in London.” She is going to object and Iris will probably hate him for smudging her lipstick, but he presses a finger against her ruby lips, eyebrows arching at his action. She stays silent. “I know how important our friendship is to you, hell you’re the most important person in my life. I think about all the memories I cherish most - you’re in every single one of them Caitlin.” Her breath hitches and he doesn’t know if he’ll regret letting that piece of information slip. “All I know is that I can’t let last night be brushed off as a mistake. I just - I need you Caitlin, even if it is just in London. I promise as soon as we’re back at Central City -” he throws her a weak smirk, “- I’ll be your BFF again, no more sexy times.” She nods against his finger, and she’ll definitely need to reapply her lipstick.

“Okay,” she whispers.

“Okay.” And his smile is wider and brighter and he feels lighter. “I should probably add that you look beautiful Caitlin.”

She blushes at his words, eyes averted as she smiles to herself. It is a precious sight and he stores it in his memory. “You look handsome too.” She drags her eyes over him, winking as she catches his gaze. “This is definitely a good look on you.”

“Cait-lin,” and oh, his voice was husky. Her eyes gleam as she catches it.

“What?” And her look of innocence has deviousness written across it. “If all we have is London, I should take full advantage of that, don’t you think?” 

He takes a step toward her, a smile on his lips as he hears her words. “Oh really?”

Caitlin nods. “I was thinking after the reception.” He is right before her now, eye-to-eye because of her heels.

“I like the sound of that.”

The wedding goes off without a hitch. The ceremony is small and intimate, beautiful enough for Caitlin to have shed a tear before Iris even makes her way down the aisle, holding onto Joe. And she isn’t sure what is more beautiful, Iris’ face when she sees Eddie standing there, or Eddie’s, his jaw dropping at the sight of Iris, eyes shining in adoration and love, the man barely able to breathe.

But then Iris is right next to him, smiling at him and then he can breathe again, knowing that this woman, this beautiful, incredible woman, was willing to promise him the rest of her life. But every so often Caitlin finds herself stealing a glance at Cisco, the man captivated by the ceremony.

Iris steals her attention back in her vows, teasingly saying Barry’s name and not Eddie’s. There is a collective sharp inhale from everyone else, but her eyes are sparkling and lips smirking and Eddie’s laugh echoes through the chapel. Because she continues on saying that Barry’s name felt wrong on her lips, that Eddie is the only one she could imagine confessing her love to, promising her life to. It was Eddie, only Eddie, only ever Eddie.

She has the man crying before she ever finishes, Cisco discreetly wiping his own eyes. And he steals a glance at Caitlin, heart thundering as he catches her unwavering gaze focussed only on him. They are both brought back into reality soon enough, watching on in happiness as their two friends slip the wedding ring on the other’s fingers, a wet laugh leaving Eddie as he fumbles, his tears making it harder to see clearly.

And everyone cheers as they exchange their first kiss as husband and wife.

Cisco and Caitlin promised it that it would end in London, that they wouldn’t continue anything, not with their friendship being so important. Because it was. It was the most important thing in their lives, and ruining that, continuing their little affair and potentially ruining the greatest thing that had happened to them, that wasn’t even a possibility.

(There was the potential it would lead to something greater and stronger and more intimate than they could ever have imagined. They are too scared to even imagine a reality where that may occur.)

And so they sneak in lingering touches and longing looks while the others remain oblivious, too wrapped up in the wedding to notice the pair. The reception is perfection, for Iris and Eddie, for everyone. It isn’t traditional by any means, but they had intended a larger gathering back in the States, after their honeymoon in Italy. And so they have a dinner, everyone who attended the wedding going. It was less formal than the pre-wedding dinner, a room rented out, cheap food, lots of alcohol and good music.

He manages to convince her to do one dance, laughing at her stilted movements. And he guides her, hands on her hips, his body pressed up against her back as he shows her how to move with the music, how to let it wash over her and control her. She teases him back, reminds him he is just as bad at dancing than she is, if not more. But she doesn’t let him leave her. Because he does lose himself in the music and she wants to lose herself in it as well, wants to lose herself in him, his touch, his presence.

They wear themselves out, fatigue catching up to them late at night. Iris and Eddie had already headed off to their rooms and Cisco was thinking that they should do the same. He drags her to Barry who was talking to Joe, a cup of alcohol in his hand. “Hey guys, I think we’ll head back to the apartment now. Or this one is going to fall asleep on the dance floor.” A drowsy Caitlin still has the strength to glare at Cisco, pulling her hand out of his to cross her arms.

“Excuse me, I am completely awake right now.” Even as the words come out she is yawning. Joe laughs at her, crinkles at the side of his eye as Cisco cocks an eyebrow up, a smirk on his face as she pouts to him. Cisco thinks that Barry have gotten another drink during the little dispute.

“Come on sleeping beauty,” he mutters, pulling her out of the room. “Let’s get you into your bed okay.”

She stumbles into him, laughing to herself. “I’d rather be in yours.” He jumps as she squeezes his butt, her expression sinful.

He manages to get her into the cab, the ride home quiet, the knowledge of just what they were planning on doing hanging over them. Before they had the excuse of alcohol, but now they were sober  and cognisant of just what they were going to do. What they wanted to do.

They can barely touch, each of them awkward as they pay the driver and go up the hotel lift. “Caitlin,” he calls before she enters her room, Cisco’s hand resting on his door handle. She hums, turning her head. And she can see his eyes, dark and blown and she feels a little weak in the knees at the sight of him, barely restrained lust and desperation rolling off him. “I’ll leave my door open.”

Caitlin isn’t sure either of them will survive the night.

She sneaks into Cisco’s bedroom, closing the door behind her, a teasing smile on her lips as she leans against the wood, Cisco jumping in surprise. But that quickly turns into something else, a ravenous look on his face as he sees just what she’s wearing, a pale blue slip cutting off mid-thigh barely covered by the robe around her shoulders. “God Caitlin,” he whispers reverently and she can already feel the effects of his glance, of his words, a fluttering in her stomach. And is then she takes him in, the crisp white shirt unbuttoned and sleeves rolled to his elbows, bow tie loosened, hanging from his neck. And she loses whatever advantage she thought she would have by surprising him, heat in her gaze as she drags her eyes up and down his body. She loved Cisco in a suit, had always done so, had always appreciated the sight it gave her, but seeing him like this, it sent shock waves through her system. Catching his gaze was a mistake, pupils dilated, sucking her in until she was drowning in those chocolate pools. She thinks she says some things, thinks she swears. But she isn’t sure. All she knows is that something snaps inside Cisco, and that the distance between them was too much, any distance was too much.

He stalks to her, determined and sure, sweeping her up in his arms. She pushes herself off the door, leaning against his chest as he kisses her, Caitlin melting at his touch. And here, sober, she finds herself just as easily succumbing to the lust swirling inside her, tendrils extending their reach to every fibre of her being and she gets her wish, losing herself in his touch and taste.

They break apart, the kiss too short, too chaste for them to feel content with. And he offers her his hand, Caitlin slipping her own inside, guided as he tugs her away from the door and to the bed.

They stand at its foot, the atmosphere thick with the weight of their future actions. But it doesn’t deter them, Cisco’s touch tender as he reaches up, slipping the robe off her shoulders, the material dropping to the floor.

“I’m going to take my time tonight,” he growls and she nods, desperate to have his hands on her once more. 

But they don’t get any further, an insistent knocking on his door. “Who is it?” And there may be a slight undercurrent of anger, but it was justified, Caitlin inches away, watching him with dark eyes, anticipation burning between them.

“It’s Barry. Can I come in?” And he feels horrible because his first instinct was to say no. But Caitlin. Bed. Nakedness. He wanted it.

A sigh of resignation leaves him, Caitlin already bending to pick up her robe, wrapping it tight around her. Thank you he mouths, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss against her mouth, lingering because he can, because this was potentially the last time he could. “I’m coming.”

If Barry is surprised at the sight of Caitlin sitting on Cisco’s bed he says nothing, Barry joining her on the mattress, falling backward against it. “I hate being single,” he moans and they know they won’t be alone that night. Sighing Cisco joins them, the three of them cramped up on the queen sized bed, Caitlin stuck in the middle. They stare at the ceiling, more painless than looking at each other. “Do you think we’ll ever find the person we’re meant to be with?”

Caitlin laughs. “I think my question is more of a ‘will they stay alive long enough or will they turn into abusive dirtbags?’” Cisco reaches for her instinctively, taking her hand in his, rubbing his thumb against the inside of her wrist. The touch seems to calm her, Caitlin exhaling loudly, squeezing his hand in gratitude.

Barry winces, mumbling an apology, Caitlin brushing it off easily.

“Gosh, we’re pathetic single people aren’t we? Destined to be alone...”

“We aren’t alone though,” Cisco pipes up, and she knows he is looking at her, can feel his eyes burn into her and it’s like an itch, this need to turn her head and meet his gaze, the more she ignores it, the more it is the only thing on her mind. “We have each other.”

Silence fills the room at his words, comfortable and not awkward. Barry twists onto his side, back to Caitlin as he wishes them all a goodnight. It is startling, the thought of him sleeping on Cisco’s bed, assuming they would all do so too.Caitlin turns her back to Cisco too, afraid of what would happen if she were to face him, to meet his gaze, their plans unspoken and hanging between them. And so she holds it inside, disappointment clawing at her heart, a sense of loss washing over her.

Barry drifts off first, Cisco whispering his name, sighing when he got no response. “This isn’t how I planned to spend the night,” he grumbles, and he shifts onto his side, moving his hand to her hip, curling it over her bone as he leans into her. “Barry Allen, fastest cockblocker in Central City.” 

“Let’s just go to sleep Cisco, we leave tomorrow morning,” she mumbles, closing her eyes as she wills oblivion to come swiftly.

But he continues on as if he hadn’t heard her. “I had such good plans too. I was going to kiss you right here.” He rests his weight on his elbow, leaning down to press a kiss underneath her ear. “And another here,” he shifts lower, “and again here...” he quietens, choosing to instead press kisses down the exposed slope of her neck and across her shoulders.

“Stop it Cisco.” There is a warning in her tone and he concedes to it, elbow giving way as he lies beside her. 

“I really did had it all planned.” He whispers it now, and she strains to hear his words. “I was going to slip one strap down, going to suck a hickey high on your neck and so whenever someone would see it they’d know you were sleeping with someone. And I was going kiss every inch of your skin, going to finger you until you couldn’t take it anymore, until every time you saw my hands you’d think of tonight and this bed and just how incredible it was. You were going to lose your voice tonight, and the neighbours were going to learn my name as I sucked your clit and as my tongue -”

She rolls awkwardly, a glare on her face. “Cisco, I swear you better shut your mouth before I kick you.” He looks at her confused, eyebrows pinching as he struggles to understand why she would react like that. “Don’t start something you won’t finish,” she huffs, turning her back to him again as realisation dawns on him.

“Are you turned on Cait?” He sounds incredulous, disbelieving. 

“I will kick you,” she threatens and he laughs, a tender kiss against the base of neck.

He is serious however, in the next moment, voice soft as he whispers his apologies. “I’m sorry we couldn’t have our final night together.”

There is a tremour in her voice, a thickness that made his heart lurch. “Maybe it just wasn’t supposed to happen Cisco.”

And he can’t explain to her just how strongly he thought she was wrong. But the words won’t come to his tongue, and so he sighs, resting his forehead on the top of her spine, and he falls asleep.

Barry wakes up, nudging Caitlin first and then Cisco awake. He is brighter than he was last night, not affected by a hangover whatsoever. She wants to linger in the room with Cisco, wants to say goodbye to whatever had happened, what could have happened, what never happened. He wants it too, wants to reach out and hold her back. 

But Barry slips his arm in hers, rambling on a mile a minute as he walks to the the doorway. And he continues to chat to her, pausing at her doorway, leaning on the wall beside it, smiling as he catches up with her, Caitlin reminding him off their checkout and flight time.

They pack up sombrely, a sharp contrast to Barry who was bouncing around his room, having already packed his items in a flash. They all meet in the hotel lobby, Iris and Eddie having gone on ahead, starting their honeymoon bright and early. Joe wasn’t happy, complaining their flight back was so early and, given how little Wally and Jesse could look at each other without blushing, Cisco figured Harry would be having a fun time when they arrived back in the States.

The flight is tense, Barry in the middle of them and oblivious to the tension, head bopping to whatever music was playing through their headphones. They can’t look at each other, can’t even look in their direction, hearts beating hard in their chest.

It will be a long flight, and they know it.

“Well, here we are.” Their Uber pulls up at Caitlin’s apartment and she doesn’t want to be here, not yet, not when it meant that the bubble they were in would have to burst. Barry had taken a different cab, residing in a different area of the city, leaving those two without any excuse for separating. And they found, the moment they both got in the cab, they were thankful for these last few moments together.

“Yeah,” she says sadly, her smile falling. “I guess we are.”

And he sense her mood shift, Cisco taking her hand in his. “Hey,” he murmurs. “We’ll be okay.” The nod is jerky, Caitlin biting her lips and back her tears. And she isn’t sure why her eyes are stinging. She would be seeing him in a few days, STAR Labs still waiting for them to return. But she felt as though she were saying goodbye.

“Thank you Cisco.” It’s a breathy whisper and his hands tighten around her in response. “For everything.”

“You don’t have to Caitlin.”

“No,” she interrupts, eyes flashing in determination. “You’re always there for me, and I don’t say it enough.” Words of appreciation get caught in his throat, Cisco letting go of her hands to lean forward, the seatbelt digging into his chest as he pulls her into a hug. He breathes in deeply, her scent filling his nostrils, warm and familiar and he doesn’t want to let go.

“Alright you two,” the driver snaps and they pull away from each other, as if burnt. They had forgotten about him, about where they were. “I got other people to pick up.”

Her cheeks are red from embarrassment, Caitlin opening her door, stumbling out of the door and going to the boot where she picks up her luggage. He peers out of the window, waving at her as the car pulls away, tilting his head until she became a spec in the distance.

And all he wanted to do was go back to her.

It is supposed to be normal, everything is supposed to be normal. They were in Central City again, back in the regular grind of life, co workers and best friends and not lovers. But it wasn’t normal, nothing was normal anymore. Not when he still itches to hold her, to touch her, to kiss her.

It isn’t like he had never had these feelings for her, but they were repressed for so long, Cisco content with friendship. But now, now he knew what it was like to feel her against him, knew the sounds she made when she was close to an orgasm, when she was needy, when she pleads for more. And he knew he would struggle, knew that these feelings were unleashed and that they would only grow.

He doesn’t unpack when he gets home, simply ditches his bags by the door and curls up on his bed, sleep overcoming him, a jetlagged Cisco exhausted. 

It isn’t the best idea, not when ten at night rolls around and he is wide awake, unpacking and pacing and cursing his decision to sleep earlier. There is energy burning inside him and no outlet. But it is preferable to sleep, flashes of memories and fantasies blending into each other, arching bodies and soft skin aroused noises and Caitlin. He dreams of Caitlin. And he wants.

He jumps when he hears the vibrations of his phone against his bedside table, Cisco’s heart stopping as he sees her name on the screen. Shaky hands pick up the device, answering the call he had never expected.

The sound of deep breathing fills his ear and how can she be breathing when he can’t seem to take an inhale. The hesitation is obvious and he hopes, he just hopes that she desires what he does. That London wasn’t an end but instead a beginning. “Cisco.” 

“Yeah.” His voice cracks but he doesn’t care.

There is a huff and he knows she has made a decision, whichever way it would go. “I can’t sleep Cisco.” There is a quiver in her voice and he can feel his skin heating up. “What if I’m still on London time?”

He knows what she is saying, doesn’t need to hear the words.

And one second he is in his room, the next he is in hers, Caitlin laying in her bed, hair mused from sleep but eyes wide awake, dark and unblinking as she takes him in. There is an itch underneath his skin, a need to touch her, to hold her and she watches him unblinking as he stalks toward her bed, Cisco crawling over bed, stopping when their bodies were only a hairbreadth apart. And then his hand is cupping the back of her head, tugging her close as his mouth devours hers, pent up emotion that had been building since they boarded the aeroplane, a day ago.

She melts against his mouth, hand cupping his face, holding him close. And it is Caitlin who deepens the kiss, tilting her head, nose pressing against his cheek as she opens her mouth to him, licking at his seams until he complies.

 “I need you Cisco.” It is murmured softly, Caitlin looking at him through her lashes. She guides his hand from her hair, dragging it slowly down her body, his gaze following its movements. And she can feel it burn against, the trail marking her skin, tingles left in its wake. His finger gets caught on the top of nightgown, tugging it down, the reveal of more skin leaving his mind heady with the idea of what would happen, his skin buzzing at the feel of her. But she pulls his hand lower and the material slips from his hold. The touch sets fire through her, his palm pressing against her stomach and lower, Caitlin guiding him to where she needed him.

He can feel her wet and it was because of him. It was for him. “Cisco,” she repeats and his name sounds like a prayer, Caitlin gasping it, eyelids fluttering closed as his fingers trace the seams of her lips through her underwear. “I need you.”

There wasn’t any doubt - they weren’t going back to being merely friends, they couldn’t. Not after this, not anymore.

He wakes to Caitlin watching him, trepidation and determination warring on her expression. And he wants to wipe the lines on her forehead away, wants to kiss her until she was smiling against his mouth.

He wants it so much and he isn’t surprised by it, isn’t afraid of its intensity. Why would he? She had been his best friend for years, and he had always hurt when she hurt, always wanted to make her smile and feel better. But it hadn’t been like this. Their relationship had shifted on its axis and he finds himself wanting more, wanting to do more for her. The idea of her finding another man to share this intimacy with, to find comfort in someone else’s arms - it was so thorough repugnant to him and he finds himself wishing that she would just choose him. He had already chosen her.

“Any chance I can just sleep in for a few more hours.“ The lightness of his words are belied by the tightness in his chest.

“Well it’s a Sunday,” she replies, dropping her head onto his chest, the softness of her cheek pressing against his pectoral muscles, her hand resting low on his stomach. The fine hairs of his happy trail tickle the inside of her palm.

He hums in reply and she feels it all the way down to her toes. “So you’re not kicking me out of this bed. Because it’s very comfy and I might not ever leave.”

He means it teasingly, but he loses the amusement mid sentence and her heart stops at the thought of her coming home to him every night, having his arms around her tight, falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. He had always made her feel safe, feel cared for, feel loved. “I wouldn’t mind.”

He freezes at her words. His heart stops being and he wonders if this is still a dream. “What’s happening between us Caitlin?” It is a hoarse whisper and it feels serious, the atmosphere shifting around them, enveloping them in a bubble, the world around them fading away. “Is it just sex?” 

“No.” It was torn from her lungs, an earnestness which puts his mind at ease. “It could never be just sex.” Her voice is quiet, soft. “Not with you.”

“Then what is this between us?”

“I don’t know,” she whispers. He sees her moving beside him, feels her chin digging into his chest as she rests it on him, drumming her fingers against his side. “But I want to know where it goes.” It’s a terrible angle to hear such incredible words. He wants to say something eloquent, but he must take to long because a shadow crosses her face. “Unless you don’t...”

“I do,” he rushes out in an exhale. He pushes himself to a sitting position, collecting her in his arms. “God Caitlin, of course I do.” She relaxes in his hold, a smile on her face which lights up the room. And how can he help himself, Cisco leaning in, Caitlin meeting him midway for a kiss. It is different, a tender meeting of two heart, chaste and pure and he cannot hide his joy when she pulls away. “Should we tell the others?” There is a hopeful tinge to his voice, and although she shakes her head, it doesn’t diminish the happiness swelling inside him.

“What if something happens between us, we can’t drag them into this.” She is worried, he can hear it in her voice, but she ploughs through  it, committed to it, to them.

“This might change things between us. Are you ready for that?”

“It doesn’t really have to change anything.” There is a demure smile on her face, her voice dropping several keys. “We’d just touch more.” Her fingers dance across his skin, sliding up the slope of his neck, tangling with his locks. “And we’d kiss more,” she whispers, pressing her lips on the underside of his jaw, grinning as his fingers flex against her hips. She trails her lips up to his ear, a soft kiss on the back of his ear. “And spend more time naked together.” She tugs at his earlobe with her teeth, Cisco stuttering her name. “Much more time naked.”

He turns his head, catching her lips in a kiss, stealing her breath away. “I like the sound of that.” He mumbles it against her mouth, smiling as she giggles into the kiss. It is slow and languid, her arms winding themselves his neck, holding him close.

She pulls back from him, nudging his nose with the tip of hers. “You’re still my best friend Cisco,” she says seriously. “No matter what happens between us you’ll always be my best friend.”

The smile he gives her is soft and tender and she feels the tension roll off her. “Ditto Caitlin.”

He seals it with a kiss.

There is a certain thrill, they discover, in hiding the relationship from everybody else. An excitement that courses through their veins every time the kiss at work, knowing anyone could come in and stumble upon them, a giddiness when they would touch each other in increasingly risque ways, a game between them for who would cause the other to crack without alerting anyone.

They get a few glances, confusion as Barry and Harry and Iris catch them in compromising positions. But it gets brushed off, and dismissed as something they would normally do, Caitlin and Cisco always incredibly close and loving toward each other.

 The actual dating... they don’t even need to hide that. Going out for dinner, spending entire evenings together on a couch and Netflix, it was so common before London that no one suspects their actions. Caitlin was right - much of their lives didn’t really change. 

But she was wrong, because so much of their lives did.

Barry is the first one to realise there was something going on between them, months after they had returned from London.

It is due to a eyelash curler of all things.

The guys were having an evening separate from the girls, Barry and Cisco taking Eddie out for drinks and bonding, Iris and Caitlin encouraging them to go out, the two discussing their own plans for the night. Barry met up with Cisco beforehand, the pair making their way to the bar, Eddie planning to meet them there after his shift concludes.

And so Barry arrives at Cisco’s apartment at lightning speed, waiting as Cisco finishes getting ready for the evening. Bored he decides to quickly check his reflection, hoping that his running hadn’t ruined his hairstyle. 

Barry finds the curler lying in Cisco’s bathroom. He had taken his wallet out of his pocket, double checking he had enough cash on him, his keys falling out with it. Bending down to pick it up he discovers the curler on the floor and picks it up, eyebrows raised. He keeps it in his pocket, wandering back to Cisco’s lounge, sitting casually as he racks his brain trying to figure out who it belonged to.

He decides to just confront Cisco directly, Barry pulling it out when Cisco enters his living room finally ready for their night out. “So, what’s this then?” He smirks at the look of panic on Cisco’s face, Barry snorting in laughter as Cisco’s mouth opens and closes numerous times.

“Umm...”

“You’re sleeping with someone?” How he manages to get it out through his laughter is a miracle.

Cisco snaps his fingers, pointing to Barry with a smile on his face. “Exactly. I met someone in a bar and then slept with them.”

“Really?” His tone would be considered sceptical if Barry hadn’t come up with the suggestion himself.

Cisco nods vigorously. “And and and you’ve never met them because it was a one time thing. Never even got a name.” There is an audible sigh of relief from Cisco, Barry crossing his arms, ready to discuss this further. But he is distracted by the time - they would be late if they don’t leave now and Cisco is dragging him out of the room before he could object.

The next day has the trio in the labs, working on a way to defeat their latest meta.

“Hey Cisco,” Caitlin calls out around lunchtime, digging through her bag. “Did I leave my eyelash curler at your apartment last weekend during our Walking Dead marathon? Because I can’t find it anywhere.”

Barry’s brows furrow, gaze flicking between Cisco’s alarmed expression and Caitlin’s confused one. “That was yours?” He settles on Cisco. “Why did you say it was from someone you’d slept with when it was just Caitlin’s?”

An ungodly noise leaves her mouth at his question, hands quickly covering her mouth, eyes wide in shock. “He what?” It is a strangled sound from her throat, Caitlin starting to cough, punching her chest until the cough clears.

“He said that the curler belonged to -” It strikes him, the man staggering back hand reaching back to lean on the desk behind him. “Nooooo.” It is a mixture of disbelief and surprise and Cisco has his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands before straightening up. “Really? You two?”

“Yes, okay. Yes.” His hands are open, trying to placate Barry, Cisco moving toward him slowly. “Caitlin and I have been...” He drifts off, trying to think of the correct word. His sways his head left to right, a grateful smile directed to Caitlin pipes up.

“We’re together Barry. But you can’t tell anyone.”

He had calmed down since the revelation, but the knowledge that he couldn’t share the information with anyone has him whining. “Why?”

It is Cisco who answers. “We’re still getting use to it Barry. This is years of friendship we’re talking about. So we’re just taking it very slowly.”

“Not that slowly,” Caitlin teases, a sly smirk on her face as she winks toward Cisco, her head thrown back in laughter at the look of utter surprise on his face, the man taken aback by her action. But then he breaks into a smile and its blinding, the fondness he held for her, the love he had been hiding from everyone.

And Barry can’t believe he hadn’t seen it before, hadn’t suspected it in the slightest. Because watching them together, the change was subtle but it was dramatic, and he didn’t think he would be able to unsee them as anything but a couple. It was different to how they used to look at each other, but really wasn’t that much different....

“You guys.” And he sounds as if he will cry at the sight of them, his arms stretching wide. There is no reluctance, though Cisco does roll his eyes as they go to him, a group hug filling them with warmth, the knowledge that one of their closest friends knew and supported them a relief. “I’m so happy for you.” And yeah, he definitely sounds choked up. “So, when did this happen?”

“London.”

“London?!”

They aren’t aware that Iris sees them a few months after Barry finds out, Cisco and Caitlin too caught up in each other. He is working, or he appears to be, but it is lunch time and there was a lull in crime and Caitlin was standing behind him, leaning down. Iris stifles a gasp as she sees the other woman press a kiss against his cheek, Cisco turning his head, capturing her lips in a soft kiss. 

They pull apart relatively quickly, Caitlin pressing a gentle kiss against the side of Cisco’s temple before straightening up, walking out of the room.

They don’t know Iris is there, don’t even know she was coming to the lab today. And she stays there, watching the space, the memory replaying in her mind over and over until it drove her crazy.

And she couldn’t keep this knowledge to herself.

“They’re dating!” It’s an explosion of hurt and excitement, Iris bouncing in her spot. She had dragged Barry to her house, Eddie sitting on their couch alongside Barry as she paces before them.

“Who?” It is confusion. Eddie. 

“Caitlin and Cisco. They’re dating...” Her jaw drops. One look of surprise, one look of guilt. “Bartholemew Allen you better tell me what I want to know.”

He caves.

He tells them everything.

“I can’t believe they’d hide this from us.” Iris stops, smirks, mischief dancing in her eyes. “Well, we can change that.” She looks between the two men with her. “And you’re both going to help me.”

Hiding their relationship wasn’t the best idea in the world, not when Eddie and Iris seem intent on setting their two friends on dates. And they can’t really resist their efforts without seeming strange, Cisco had been bemoaning the lack of romance in his life, Caitlin promising Iris that she would try and move on from the scars Jay left on her. And she finally seemed as though she were, a few scattered dates before the fateful trip to London.

But Julian didn’t light up anything inside her, and Lisa, Cisco was sure, is someone he has seen on the wanted board in the police station.

(Iris concedes that maybe finding a stranger in a bar wasn’t the best idea for organising Cisco’s blind date.)

They try other people, but the couple don’t appear to show any annoyance at the constant barrage of dates they were set up on, smiling the next day as they exchanged anecdotes of the previous night with each other. The looks of adoration aren’t hard to miss between them and Iris feels like screaming, the poor charade of just-friends crumbling the moment they are in the same room together.

“So this isn’t working,” Iris huffs, crossing her arms as Eddie sits across from her on the table, taking her hand.

“What are you thinking babe?”

“We need the big guns.” Her eyes spark and both Barry and Eddie know not to try and stop her.

Cynthia comes over to STAR Labs the next day, some half formed excuse stuttered out of Barry’s lips before he zooms off to practice.

Cisco is free to assist her with the problem plaguing her bounty agency, the man ready to work and talk tech with whoever was willing to listen. And Cynthia was. She hovers over Cisco’s shoulders, listening to his words and explanations, nodding, asking for clarification on points she doesn’t understand. It’s different, a more calm Cynthia. A Cynthia that spoke only to him.

Caitlin was working on another issue, her expertise not relevant to the problem. And so she is largely ignored, and largely ignores them. Which means she is unaware of the gentle touches Cynthia does on his shoulder. Which means she is unaware at the closeness between Cynthia and Cisco.

But Cisco isn’t oblivious. Confused and unsure how to mention it to Cynthia, but not oblivious.

With the end of the day comes the end of the problem, Cynthia beaming at the improved technology Cisco was passing over to her, eyes bright when she sees the strength of the gun, sees just how the gloves harness and amplify her strength.

Cynthia presses a kiss against his cheek, in what he assumes is thanks. But then she checks him out, blatantly checks him out, winking as she catches his surprised look before she enters the lift, heading up to the top, and he doesn’t know what to think anymore. “See you around Ramon,” she had said before she left.

And he isn’t sure what to expect when she does.  

He takes a seat at his desk not half an hour after Cynthia had left, huffing to himself, abandoning any pretence of doing work. Because her actions were on his mind and he needed to talk with someone. His best friend. “Caitlin... I think there’s a meta affecting people’s minds.” The snort of laughter leaving her lips doesn’t fill him with confidence.

She turns her head to him smiling, but he doesn’t seem amused, seems troubled, and so she drops her work turning to him. “And why do you think that?”

“Cynthia.” The blank look on Caitlin’s face wasn’t something he wanted to see, Cisco realising that now he’d have to explain everything to her. “She was flirting with me.” He rushes the words out, as if speed would detract from its meaning.

Caitlin rolls her eyes, rolling herself to Cisco’s desk. His brows furrow as she places the back of her hand on his forehead, head cocked to the side. “You don’t seem to have a high temperature.”

“Rude.” He pushes her hand away from him. Missing the contact instantly. “I’m serious.”

“Cisco,” Caitlin starts slowly. “Cynthia has always flirted with you.”

That revelation takes him by surprise. “What?”

“Yeah, haven’t you wondered why she's always so awkward around me?” He shrugs, Caitlin rolling her eyes, ruffling his hair affectionately. He yelps, brushing her hand away from his hair. “You’re the cutest thing.”

He pouts, crossing his arms over his chest. “Okay then Miss Smarty-pants, why is she being so blatant then?”

The question hangs over them, the look of mirth on Caitlin’s face dropping. “They know.”

He doesn’t need an explanation for what she was referring to. “They couldn’t possibly.”

Caitlin gives him an unimpressed look. “Barry knows.”

He tilts his head, pondering her argument. “.... They know.” But it still doesn’t explain everything. “And they sent Cynthia to do what exactly?”

Caitlin smiles, devious and chilling and he loves it. “I don’t know, but I do know how to find out.”

(He loves her).

It becomes a point of pride, the couple wanting to admonish their friends for trying to force them out of secrecy. And Cisco just wants to mess with them.

Barry is terrible with secrets, and a small amount of pressure exerted by Caitlin has him folding, telling them the plan. That apparently Cynthia was to flirt with him, the resulting awkwardness a source of amusement and would hopefully have them confessing the relationship.

And so he tries to flirt back.

She leans back in surprise when he moves closer, flirting just as obviously, and he can hear Iris gasp, her gaze flickering to Caitlin’s neutral expression, Caitlin not reacting to the sight in front of her. She appears disinterested. It takes them by surprise.

Cynthia recovers quickly, smiling as she slides her hand up his torso, Cisco’s stomach clenching at the touch. “Are you saying you’re interested in me Cisco?” There is a coy smile on her lips and he gulps, adam’s apple bobbing as he commits to the plan.

“I’ve never denied it Cynthia. I knew there was a reason that the universe tried to show us we were -” he blanks, searching for the right word. “On similar wavelengths, compatible.”

Her eyes brighten and oh, he thinks, this was a terrible idea. She was much better at this than him. “I agree. We should really explore what it is between us Cisco.” Her finger runs down his torso, Cynthia close, too close. But he can’t flinch, can’t show any sign of discomfort. Can’t let them win.

“Maybe over dinner?”

His words take her by surprise, eyes widening. They had clearly never planned for it to go this far. “That sounds perfect.” And the waver in her voice was audible, Cynthia clearing her throat to disguise it.

“So it’s a date?” He tries to sound excited for it, but the smile on his lips too wide, too bright.

“Yeah.” She nods, pulling away from him. And he can breathe normally again. “Where do you want to go?” He was successful, this charade was working. 

And he’s a little too confident, the words slipping out without second thought. “My apartment, Friday night, 8 o’clock. I’ll cook you some of mama Ramon’s famous recipes.”

And as soon as they are out he wants to take them back, wants to pluck them from the air and eat his words back up. What he would do to run through time and stop his past self. But he can’t. They are in the open and Cynthia is nodding, a smile on her face, a few words before turning on her heels and leaving the room.

“I look forward to it.”

Caitlin is in his apartment before the date takes place, sitting down by his kitchen table, a smile on her face as she watches him run around, preparing dinner for another woman. “You can help any time you know?” 

She laughs at his words and he feels himself relax at the sound, shoulders falling and a calm washing over him. “Are you really sure you want me helping with the cooking?”

There is a moment to ponder her words before he nods. “Yeah you’re right, we’d die of food poisoning, and it wouldn’t even be intentional.”

She pouts at him, sticking her tongue out as he laughs. “I’m not that bad,” she grumbles and he switches the stove off, Cisco moving to her, kneeling in front of her.

“No,” he whispers, and the air isn’t light anymore, a tension settling in the room. “You’re the best.”

The smile is small, but it means everything to him, Cisco pulling himself to his feet, moving to get ready, Caitlin rising with him almost instinctively. And up close he can see her emotions more clearly. He can see the worry in her face, Caitlin gnawing at her bottom lip. “Hey,” his hand finds the bottom of her chin, tilting it up until she meets his gaze. And she can’t hide anything from him. Never really could. “You okay?”

She nods, and he can feel her swallow thickly. He wants to say the words, the three words that were weighing on his heart. Instead he leans forward, Caitlin melting into him as she kisses him, tension rolling off her in waves. 

They break apart slowly, Caitlin reaching up to his mouth, wiping his lips clean with her thumb, maintaining eye contact with him the entire time. He catches her arm as she moves to pull her hand away, dry lips pressing a lingering kiss against the inside of her wrist.

“You need a clean shirt,” she says eventually, voice scratchy. And she runs, leaving him alone in his lounge room. He is alone with a clawing feeling inside him, stomach flipping as the minutes stretch. She comes back with a clean button up shirt flung over her shoulder. And she can’t meet his gaze, her hands grabbing the bottom of his shirt, lifting it up slowly.

There is a tension in the atmosphere he never expected, Caitlin clinging to his shirt, unable to meet his gaze. He picks the other off her shoulder, sliding his hands through it. And she buttons up his shirt slowly, staring from the bottom and working her way up. “You don’t to go this far if you don’t feel comfortable.”

“I won’t if you don’t want me too.” It is a whisper. It feels wrong to do anything but that.

She meets his gaze then and the emotions swirling inside it takes his breath away. “I just -” She cuts herself off. She doesn’t need to say anything more.

“You know you’re the only woman I...” He hesitates, unsure if he should say those words, unsure if she was ready to hear them. “You’re the only one I truly care for,” he finishes and he prays she can read between the lines, can understand what he means.

She nods, a watery smile on her lips and she doesn’t, not really. “Yeah, of course.”

He kisses her then. He kisses her because he adores her and loves her and he can’t imagine being with anyone else. He kisses her because he can’t stand the look on her face, can’t stand being away from her. And something unlocks inside him, her hands winding themselves around his neck, a muffled moan against his lips. 

The whimper that leaves her mouth when they break apart has him leaning back into her, holding her tight against him. 

“I’ll sneak out now,” she says, glancing at the time. She stops at the door, turning on her heel, a shy smile on her face as she adds. “You look nice.” Her words send his heart into overdrive and the words are going to slip out accidentally. It is too big and important and she is such a big and important part of his life.

But then there is a knock on her door.

Cynthia was here,

but so was Caitlin.

There is a flurry of movement, a panicked Caitlin running into his bedroom. “I’ll be okay here, won’t I?” she hisses.

He rolls his eyes at her question. “I don’t know what you think I’m going to do tonight, but none of it involves her in my bedroom okay?” She nods rapidly, shutting the door to him. And she leans on the wood behind her, sinking slowly to the floor, clutching her hand to her chest, over her heart. It is beating hard and there is an uneasiness she doesn’t understand.

It is Cisco, and he would never hurt her, never do anything against her. And Cynthia was just playing with both of them. But still...

Caitlin closes her eyes, rests her head against the door and breathes deeply. And she listens.

Cisco is much more panicked than her now he was left alone. He opens the door to Cynthia, a smile on his face as he takes her hand in his, a kiss against the back of her palm partnered with a wink. 

She rolls her eyes at his antics, but the smile tugging on her lips betrays her amusement. “You look good,” she says and it’s strange, feeling her eyes rake over him. With Caitlin he felt hot, but Cynthia was his friend.

He does the same with her, a noise of appreciation leaving him as he takes in the dress she was wearing partnered with the leather jacket. “And you look beautiful.” It is true, she really does, the deep blue of the dress and loose hair is a very nice look on her. But she wasn’t who he wanted.

He snaps out of his thoughts. “Oh! Food.” He abandons her by the door, rushing to the kitchen. “I’ll just put this on low,” he calls out, Cynthia following him slowly. “I wasn’t sure how long it’d be so I prepared it early.” She runs her hand up his back and he stiffens immediately.  “Just wait a moment, the food is almost ready.” His voice is difficult to keep steady, but he succeeds.

“I’m hungry,” she pulls him away from the stove, pushes him against his kitchen bench, the granite digging into his back. “Just not for food.”

“Oh really?” 

“Surely you’ve felt it,” her voice is low and she is good, he thinks to himself. And committed. “This spark between us.”

She stares at his lips and licks her own. “Of course.” He puts his hand on her hips. It is more to hold her back than to show affection. He hopes that she doesn’t notice.

“Then why are we fighting it.” Cynthia drifts off, voice soft  and leans in close, lips so close to his own.

And he can’t.

“Okay, alright!” The squeezing of his eyelids does nothing to alleviate the pressure he felt against his heart. “You guys win. I can’t kiss you.” He cracks one eye open, a smug look of satisfaction on her face. She pulls away from him, and he can breath easy with the distance between them.

“And why is that?” She crosses her arms over her chest, tapping her foot impatiently, the constant and consistent noise pushing him over the edge.

“Because I love Caitlin.” The words rush out of his mouth, sufficient and clearly, nothing like the jumbled feelings bouncing around inside him. He is barely aware of the door opening behind Cynthia, more focussed on her shifting smile, now soft and genuine, and it gives him the strength to continue, knowing at least two of his friends was supportive of the relationship. “I love her and I’m in love with her.” His gaze flickers behind Cynthia, Iris having burst into the room, Eddie and Barry behind her. And she is bouncing on the spot, her hand covering her mouth doing nothing to hide the look of glee on her face, eyes misty as she hears his confession. And Eddie is beside her, both his hands on her shoulder. And god, Cisco thinks to himself, what he would do to be able to hold Caitlin like that in public.

Caitlin.

He turns to the bedroom door, the petite frame coming out of the room slowly and hesitantly and his heart is in his throat. She doesn’t acknowledge anyone else in the room, the world him and only him. It’s almost in slow motion, watching Caitlin approach him, stopping only a few steps away from him.

“Look,” he starts, gaze on the floor. “I know you’re not ready for that, and that Jay hurt you real bad.” He hears her sniff, can see through his periphery Caitlin lift up her hand to her face, but he doesn’t have will to meet her gaze, afraid of what he might see in it. “I don’t expect you to say it back, but it’s true and I don’t think I can lie anymore. I’m in love with you Caitlin Snow.” He chuckles to himself. “And I have been for a while.”

Cold fingers slide across his jawline, and he leans into her hand, gaze slowly lifting as she closes the gap between them, feet now centimetres. Her hand lifts his head up, eyes searching his own for the truth. And she finds it, is overwhelmed by it, by his love for her.

She’s crying he realises belatedly. She’s smiling and it’s beautiful like a supernova, big and stunning and deadly if you’re too close, and he is too close, but he doesn’t mind being burned by such a beautiful thing. “I love you too Cisco.” Her chin trembles and he thinks that maybe he should kiss her. He most definitely should kiss her.

He does.

And his friends fade into background, all his attention, all his energy spent on kissing the woman in his arms, his best friend, his princess. His soulmate.