#this also fulfills my idea of drawing her in my daily outfits

[albireon]

sketching some outfits

[camillemontespan]

can we talk about georgiana, the duchess of devonshire?

So, a few months ago, I asked my followers who would be interested in following a side blog about historical figures. I’m a huge history geek and I thought that if I started a blog about the people who interest me, I could add it to my CV and also just get back into my interests. Quite a few of you were down for it and I was so pleased!

I’m yet to make the side blog but I’m posting this as a test to see if you guys like it. If you do, I will make the side blog. 

@jovialyouthmusic​ @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore​ @moonlightgem7​ @walkerswhiskeygirl​ @rainbowsinthestorm​ @saivilo​ @pug-bitch​ @katedrakeohd​ @gardeningourmet​ @mskaneko​  

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Georgiana, the Duchess of Devonshire (1757-1806)

I love history for its people. I am not interested in battles or treaties; I am drawn to the people behind these events. I like discovering what made them tick, that drove their decisions and what impact their lives have had on future generations. If you ask me to date a certain event, I can’t do it, but I can give you a spoken biography of historical figures that interest me. 

When I moved to Devon two years ago, I was nervous but also excited for one reason: I believed I would be able to visit Chatsworth House, the home of the Duchess of Devonshire. Imagine my irritation when I realised that Chatsworth is actually based in Derbyshire, which is hours away from Devon itself. My ideas of weekend jaunts to Chatsworth as I admired the architecure and strolled around the gardens were ruined by this realisation. 

You may have heard of Georgiana, the Duchess of Devonshire. A film of her life starring Keira Knightley was released in 2008 which first brought her to my attention. Now, I’m not a Knightley fan - ‘I’m Keira Knightley, look at my jawww,’- because I find her quite wooden, however I was pleasantly surprised when I watched her performance. She brought a human element to this historical figure who was known for her fashion sense, crippling debt and controversial marriage arrangement. 

Georgiana is also the ancestor of Princess Diana. Many people compare their tragic stories and can see a mirror image. Married to man they didn’t really love, later forced to watch their husbands fall in love with another woman and say nothing, all the while maintaining dignity and poise on the world stage. 

So, without further ado, let me introduce you to Georgiana. 

 If Georgiana was your friend, she would be the one who would come over with a bottle of wine, over which you would put the world to rights and drunkenly proclaim, ‘I love you sooooo much!’ to each other, before deciding to have a spontaneous night out where you dance on the bar and pound shots. She would visit you the next day – you would be horrifically hungover, she would be fresh as a daisy.

Georgiana, the Duchess of Devonshire, was known for her charismatic and bubbly personality; her ability to make any outfit look beautiful (4 foot long peacock feather in her hair springs to mind) which made women everywhere try to emulate her - she literally set trends. She was also known for her passion for politics and her private life. 

On the surface, she had it all. But in reality, she didn’t. Underneath this larger than life facade was a tragic figure. 

For one thing,  Georgiana was addicted to gambling and racked up an eye watering debt. She borrowed money from her friends but never repaid them. Her mother warned her to be careful but to no avail.  Her mother also had a gambling problem and wasted money while playing faro. She didn’t want her daughter to continue her mistakes. Georgiana hid her debts from her husband for as long as she could, but eventually she had to tell the Duke, who paid off her debts and never mentioned it again. 

She had been expecting to get a bollocking but he stayed silent. To be honest, this made it worse. It’s like being told by your mum that she’s ‘disappointed’ in you, when you’d prefer her to shout at you for a few minutes and then forgive you. She struggled with gambling for years.

Second, and most importantly, her marriage was an unspoken controversy.  This is the thing that makes Georgiana an incredible character to study. I read her story and I just couldn’t work it out in my head - why would you put up with this? But then, you have to remember that divorce wasn’t an option for women in those days. Women were property. They were commodities. Leaving a marriage because your husband preferred another woman was not an option. 

It was the worst kept secret in society. Everyone knew that her best friend, Elizabeth ‘Bess’ Foster, lived with them and that Bess was her husband’s mistress. Georgiana had asked for Bess to live with them after she discovered that Bess’ sons had been taken away from her and she was living in awful circumstances. Georgiana was too good, too kind – and Bess took advantage.  Trust me, Bess is the villain in this story, no matter how often she tried to set her story straight. Diary accounts from Georgiana’s friends show that nobody trusted her. They could see her for what she was -a schemer, a leech. But Georgiana couldn’t. 

Bess stayed at Chatsworth and conducted a secret affair with her husband, which soon became public knowledge. Did Georgiana say anything? No. She let it carry on under her roof, without saying a word. In the film, she stands up for herself which is how it should have played out. But according to Amanda Foreman, the historian and writer of the book, this didn’t happen. Georgiana kept silent. 

 Although I wish I could shake her and tell her she deserves so much better, in a way I feel she shows a huge strength of character to put up with that. She continued her daily routine with dignity and carried on being a queen. 

 Now, this is when things get interesting and draws in another historical figure who I feel isn’t really known? At least, I didn’t know him, all I knew was that there are tea bags named after him. 

 The rumour is that she later fell in love with Charles Grey, a Whig politician  (later Prime Minister - I KNOW RIGHT? YOU GO GEORGIANA!) who had dreams of a bright, new world where all men had the vote. They were like minded and they could talk about these dreams together.  I adore how political Georgiana was and that she spoke publicly about her political associations in a time when women were expected to stay at home and mind their business. She actually brought about the trend of canvassing, where you go out into the streets and campaign for a party.  Having Georgiana on side meant the Whigs became popular quickly  - if anything, she became their figurehead. Anyway, I digress, but let me just say that she has so much depth. She is genuinely interesting.  

Right, Charles Grey. 

They had an affair and she became pregnant with his child. In short, she asked the Duke if she could leave him and be with Grey. After all, he was fucking her best friend and not giving a shit about her feelings. But, of course, the Duke refused. Hypocrite, yes. But the time period was different and he couldn’t risk the humiliation of being deserted by his wife – nor could she. Women who left their families were ravaged by society. She gave birth to Grey’s daughter, Eliza, in secret and the baby was raised by his family as Grey’s niece.  Again, that is a testament to her character. I’m sure many women would have felt broken after that. But she wasn’t – she visited Eliza frequently (who, when she grew up, named her daughter Georgiana after her mother. I think she knew by then) and she continued to partake in social engagements. 

What I love about her, aside from her strength, is how she challenges the stereotype of women of that time. In fact, she was way beyond her time. She was the one who started the trend for getting outside in the streets and campaigning for the Whigs. She was a WOMAN who was out in the streets campaigning, despite not even having a vote or even thinking her gender would one day have one, and she was so much more than just fashion and money. She was an intelligent badass who cared about how the country was run. She didn’t let gender stereotypes and restrictions hold her back. I love how no matter how shit her home life was, she didn’t let that bring her down. If anything, politics was her escape. It was where she could feel valued. She made friends with the Whigs, such as Charles Fox, and they wanted to hear her opinion. They needed her on their side because her opinion mattered. She mattered.

She was ahead of her time. She had a hard home life but she carried on, trying to make a difference and prove her worth. Georgiana is my home girl and I will stand up for her because no one else did.

I know this wasn’t a coherent piece.  It was all over the place, right? But that’s what history does to me. I get excited. If I’m talking to you about Georgina, my hands will be all over the place and my voice will be rising in volume because I get so passionate about the subject. I wrote essays at uni for my history degree and they were so proper, just the way university dictates you write.  All I wanted to write was ‘read how amazing this person is! Give me an A for enthusiasm!’ I once got a lower mark for an essay because I made the mistake of being too enthusiastic, writing a really in-depth profile on the historical figure, but forgot to answer the question… My tutor said he could tell I really enjoyed writing it but I didn’t actually fulfill the point of the essay. It wasn’t a harsh criticism - he was happy I enjoyed writing it but obviously, couldn’t grade me a high mark. 

But that’s how I approach history. I could sit here and try to write something proper but I think that is one reason why history is often a disliked subject. It CAN be boring if taught badly. 

I remember my history teacher in high school, Mr Pia, who was the best teacher I’ve ever had. He scared all the young students because he was so serious and never smiled and I tell you, I was scared when I found out he would be teaching me when I was in my final year. But, when I joined his class, he surprised us in a lesson about Austria. He played Mozart and said, ‘I thought I would try to evoke the right atmosphere!’

I fell in love with his teaching then and there.

THAT is what makes history a good subject. You need someone passionate, who looks at it differently. That’s how I would like to approach it. It may not be for some people but it works for me. 

If Georgiana has peaked your interest, you can read the biography by Amanda Foreman which is incredible. I couldn’t put it down. Even give the film a go - Ralph Fiennes plays the Duke and Dominic Cooper (babe) is Charles Grey. It’s on Netflix. Spend your Sunday watching it. It’s a great adaptation. 

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 148

Episode: Futari wa Precure Splash Star 49 - “In Top Form! Forever Friends Under the Starry Sky!” Date watched: 29 July 2019 Original air date: 28 January 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/LingrF5? Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

words don’t do this justice

note: I may revise this later if i look back and think of more to say. I probably will, bit i wanted to push this out now for personal reasons.

This is it. The finale. We finally made it! From November to now, Splash Star has been a long road plagued by personal difficulties and stubbornness and some lost sleep along the way, but I made it! And boy do we have a lot to discuss!

The Plot

When we left off, Saki, Mai, Michiru, and Kaoru, were infused with the power of spirits and transformed into Cures Bloom, Egret, Bright, and Windy. Gohyaan mocks their resolve and points out how all life is gone and there’s no light, no wind, nothing. It’s a world of ruin, except for the four of them, and he’s about to fix that. They battle, and as the girls again try to explain why they consider life so valuable, Gohyaan explains his backstory. He is an existence predating the universe, and he doesn’t like the commotion of life, so he wants to go back to the quiet. The girls won��t let that happen, because they have so much to live for. Gohyaan destroys the entire Earth, and thinks this is the end for them, but no! Saki explains how she needs to lead the softball team to victory. Michiru wants to try baking bread, because Saki’s is so delicious. Kaoru wants to draw with Minori and Mai, Choppi wants to live in the Land of Fountains, Flappi wants to confess his feelings, and Mai wants to keep drawing everyone’s smiles. They stand up, gather their power, and all together they perform a brand new four-person finishing attack: Precure Spiral Heart Splash Star!

This is too much for Gohyaan to handle and as the girls proclaim the strength of their hopes and futures, he is blown away.

The spirits of the various fountains and the Fairy Carafe reappear, and they restore everything to its original, beautiful state. We see all six fountains one final time, as the girls stand in front of the Sky Tree as they realize that it’s connected to the World Tree in the Land of Fountains. Princess Filia is fully restored to power, and Korone returns to being a normal, non-talking cat. However, Michiru and Kaoru have exhausted the last of their remaining energy, and they begin to fade away. Saki, Mai, Flaapi, Choppi, Moop, and Foop all cry deeply, not wanting to let their friends go, and even Filia seems sad but unable to do anything. However, a miracle occurs as the spirits of the Land of Greenery flow into the two, and Filia deduces that the spirits themselves want to live with the Michiru and Kaoru. They’re restored to life, and Princess Filia finally returns to her place in the Tree of Life.

At this point the first ending theme begins to play as we get a montage of events: All four girls visiting the Fountain of the Sky at long last, fulfilling that promise. Waving a tearful goodbye to their fairies. Mai and Kaoru drawing in school. The girls sitting on Gourd Rock in the spring. Saki and Michiru baking. And then, the softball tournament. Kaoru and Minori have drawn a picture to support Saki, while Michiru baked some bread in the shape of Saki’s head. Kaya, Miyasako, Kenta, Hitomi, Yuuko, and Mai are all in the stands anticipating the game. Saki looks into the stands and sees Izumida, the former captain, and suddenly gets nervous. She walks out of sight, and Mai walks up to her. They hold hands and Saki comments about how holding hands lets Mai’s energy flow through her, a callback to an earlier episode.

Then Saki walks out onto the field. Next thing we know, we’re treated to a few of Mai’s drawings: Saki holding the championship trophy, indicating they won. Everybody gathered together with Saki: Mai, Michiru, Kaoru, Kenta, Miyasako, Kaya, Hitomi, Yuuko, Izumida, Ms. Shinohara, Saki’s parents, Mai’s parents, Minori, Kazuyua, Korone, and all the fairies. Basically, every major character in the series. How nobody saw the fairies is not answered, and I have to assume it’s actually a photograph that Mai copied but details aside, it’s a great picture.

We zoom out to see Saki and Mai sitting beneath the Sky Tree, closing the sketchbook, and the real credits roll.

The Analysis

I absolutely love every minute of this. Even with the powers of all four spirits, Gohyaan is a formidable opponent, but the girls hold their own and manage to overcome him in the end. What is the power of destruction next to an indestructible will? He underestimates the power, the value, of life, and that is his ultimate undoing. He gets the peace and quiet he wants.... at the cost of his existence. And, indeed, this explains the Uzainaa’s name. It’s derived from “Urusai na”, which means “it’s annoying”. Gohyaan is an existence that predates the universe, and he doesn’t like the commotion created by life. It’s a darkly mundane reason to want to try to destroy everything, and frankly he should find a new hobby, but maybe in the end he learned that life is precious. Doesn’t seem like it, though. Honestly I don’t have much to say about the battle itself. There’s some good scenes, like this part where the cures all flip Gohyaan, but it’s more of an exchange of wills than a physical fight. Both are important aspects, as I’ve commented many times, I just want to note that the physical stuff was done last episode.

Let’s talk Michiru and Kaoru. Officially, they don’t get new designations even with the powers of Moon and Wind, because the idea at the time was still that Precures were only ordinary girls, but I think they deserve to be called Cure Bright and Cure Windy. Their journey is heartbreaking, even if their death was an inevitability and they were given a new lease on life very quickly. They never deserved what they got, but their tragedy is a part of this show I honestly forgot about, and I think it makes it more powerful. I knew Splash Star was an underrated gem but I had forgotten the depths of tragedy the Kiryuus were in, I kind of thought everything was pretty hunky-dory when they got back. Their journey escalates this show to a higher tier in my view, and I’ll have to remember that when making recommendations.

Obviously, they already had powers from being Dark Fall denizens, and getting Cure abilities doesn’t make them innately better, but it’s a great next step for them, epitomizing the journey they’ve undergone from mindless servants of Akudaikaan to friends and sisters who have a network of people who care about and support them, discovering their own interests, and getting to live life. They are every inch heroes in the way that Saki and Mai are and they have been done dirty by the franchise writ large.

The epilogue gives us a lot of things I really wanted. Michiru and Kaoru finally get some casual clothes, and they are really stylish.

Also, we fast forward to spring and see them in spring outfits and Michiru’s outfit is extremely similar to Nagisa’s spring clothes.

I’m happy to see them living normal lives, practicing baking and art and getting to experience life, finally. They seem so happy and I’m sure they have a bright future ahead of them and GOD DAMN IT TOEI WHY DO YOU IGNORE THEM. They were lucky to get Figuarts.

The softball championship game is something else I honestly forgot happened. I commented back in the last softball episode (35 I think) that we would never see Saki lead the team to victory the next year, because the show didn’t get a second season. Well, they took care of that here, and Saki did live up to her promise to Izumida by winning the championship.

In general it’s a lot of tying up loose ends that I really appreciate. Flappi finally confessed his feelings to Choppi and they’re a couple now, Kenta and Miyasako are still going strong as a manzai duo, Yuuko feels inspired by his encouragement even if they don’t seem to be a couple, and... well, the last closure we got on Saki and Kazuya was in the Christmas episode, but that’s just as well because Saki’s only love is Mai. For real though I love that the episode closes out on them being close, and you can choose to interpret their friendship any way you choose. It’s just perfect for this show.

Oh and there’s a little epilogue after the ending theme. On the TV broadcast it was probably a preview for Yes! 5, but we don’t get that here. Instead we get  , some stills of Saki and Mai thanking everybody for watching, and saying that Precure will continue for a long time! And boy, truer words were never spoken.

Next time on precure Daily, I’m going to revisit a little Splash Star something that I forgot to do sooner. After that, I’m going to try to push out a retrospective on the entire Futari wa era, before we change up the formula big time with Yes 5. My goal is to finish Yes 5 by the end of 2019, but if I’m really good I might even be able to start GoGo this year. I don’t want to drag another show out for 8 months, so we’ll see where we end up. I hope to see all of you again soon!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 1 Zekkouchou Nari!, in the title of the episode.

[littledreamybeth]

Daddy cares

Have fun with this! Feedback always loved and appreciated! (Pictures are not mine!)

Harry wakes up earlier this morning than he usually does, his sleep disturbed by loud coughing that comes from his love who sleeps beside him. Still drowsy, he sits up and peaks a little glance at her and instantly a worried expression appears on his face. She looks a bit pale, a layer of sweat covers her forehead, little sweat beads running along her temple, her nose is all red and even though she is entirely wrapped up in the thick, white sheets, they still don’t provide her the warmth that she needs. Her whole body is shivering. Harry leans forward, carefully lays the back of his hand on her forehead and hisses at the hot feeling that engulfs his hand. She is burning!

“Damn baby, you’re hot than fire.” He mumbles, running his fingers through her messy and dishevelled hair. Another wave of coughs escapes Y/N’s mouth and Harry fears it is going to damage her throat and he scrunches his face at the horrible sounds. It seems like there is no way for him to work at the studio today because his responsibility is going to be taking care of his wife the whole time. He instantly grabs his smart phone which lies on his bedside table and types a quick message to Jeff.

Sorry mate, can’t come to work. Missus has caught a fever. Need to take care of her. H.

After sending the message, he gently shakes his love’s shoulder in attempt to wake her up. All he receives his Y/N groaning and curling more into his side. “Wake up, darling.” Harry hums in her ear, his fingers gently caress the soft but warm skin of her cheek. She inhales and exhales from her mouth because her blocked nose prevents her from breathing properly.

“Y/N baby, c’mon open those eyes for me.”

“What do you want, Harry?” She finally answers slightly annoyed, supported by a few more coughs. Her voice sounds hoarse and cracks while speaking as if she had screamed a lot. She squints her eyes and gently massages her temple with her thumbs in order to get rid of the headache that has developed now and tortures her.

“You have a fever darling and you have been coughing a lot,” Harry informs his wife.

Y/N groans again, throwing the blanket over her head. “Please god, not today! I have to be at work!”

Harry looks at her like she had gone crazy. She is sick and all she thinks about is work? Another people probably would have been happy to have a free day however Y/N has always been a hard-working person and shares a deep passion for her profession.  

“You’re sick. Don’t you listen to me? There is no way you’re going to work today, love,” he says with a determined attitude.

“I have an important meeting I need to attend. I cannot miss it, Harry.”

She hastily gets up from the bed, however her vision starts to blurry immediately because her motions were a bit too fast and if Harry wouldn’t have hurried on time, she probably would have been lying on the ground. Harry steadies her, one hand grabbing firmly on her forearm while the other hand is supported on her back.

“This meeting must go on without you, love. I’m not letting you go today,” Harry says. “Just call off. You and the kids are under my watch.”

Y/N wants to refuse however as on cue, they both hear tiny footsteps on the floor coming from the hallway and they stop in front of their bedroom. The door is pushed open and two little heads appear through the gap with smiles on their cute faces. Harry’s heart warms every time he sees his children and he returns the smile the both offer their parents.

“Aye, you up so early?”

Alexandria and Tommy, three year old twin siblings, one boy and one girl, nod their head in unison. They are Harry’s biggest pride and he would put his own life on fire for them just to make sure they’re safe and sound. The same goes for his wife. She has given him two healthy babies and he cannot ask for more.

“Come here, my loves! Give daddy a big hug.”

The children instantly run to their father and Harry catches them, lifting them up at the same time. Each of his strong arms wrap themselves around their tiny bodies and he makes sure they do not slip out of his grab. He receives sloppy kisses on both of his cheeks.

“How did you sleep, hmm?”

“Good daddy,” Alexandria responds.

“Good daddy,” her brother repeats.

Y/N watches at the daddy-children conversation in awe. She always loves the way Harry treats their kids and how much he shows interest on what they have to say. In their house, all the choices they make are chosen democratically so the twins do not feel left out.

“Wanna say good morning to mummy?” He turns them so they can make eye contact with their mom and even in her terrible state Y/N puts a smile on her face and waves at her babies. The twins wish their mommy a good morning and after that Harry sets them down. He instructs them to go to their bedroom and wait for him. He is going to take them to school since Y/N is not able to. She would normally bring them to school and pick them up afterwards but today the roles are being reversed.

Harry opens his arms for his love and invites her in. Her warm body is pressed against his chest and he strokes her back soothingly.

“Go back to bed love. You need to rest. I’m gonna lay a bottle of water and medicine on your night board. After I dropped the kids off, I’m gonna take good care of you, okay?” He kisses her forehead tenderly.

“Thanks, Harry,” his wife responds and he helps her getting back to bed and covers her up tightly.

It rarely occurs that Y/N becomes sick- it’s more Harry and the kids who are catching a cold often. She is very grateful she has a strong immune system which keeps her safe but especially today her body has to give up on her and it makes her feel a sting of betrayal because the meeting she would have had at work is very important. Maybe her sickness was a clue for her to take a time-out and concentrate on herself.

She barely takes time for her to relax because she dedicates her whole strength and power to the kids, Harry and their household. She is constantly on her feet and Harry admires this ability of hers. She is his wonder woman.

After making sure his wife fell asleep, Harry goes next door to his kids’ bedroom. Alexandria is sitting on the floor and playing with her dolls while Tommy is drawing a picture on a white paper.

“Okay, my loves!” Harry claps his hands. “We need to get ready for school, so what do you want to wear?” The twins take their father by his hands and individually lead him to their closets. A few discussions are made where Harry has to explain them why they cannot wear a certain piece of clothing but soon they agree on the same and the kids are instantly dressed up.

Preparing breakfast for them, putting them into their lunch boxes and then right into their backpacks and also changing into his daily outfit, Harry calls his twins to the foyer of their house.

„Why can’t we give mummy a kiss daddy? “ His little girl Alexandria asks her father with curiosity in her eyes right after Harry refused them to give his permission.  The twins never miss to give their mother a goodbye kiss when they’re out for kindergarten and the little girl she is she just doesn’t understand why Harry tells her they’re not allowed to do so. Harry zips her thick jacket close and slings her scarf around her neck so she is kept warm, his lips touching her forehead gently. He repeats the some process with Tommy. “Mummy does not feel well, munchkin. We don’t want you two to become sick either, do we?”

Alex and Tommy instantly shake their head in denial. “No daddy, we don’t.”

“Alright, then let’s go!”

He leads them to their Range Rover and buckles them up with the seat belt. “It’s not hurting you, is it?” he questions his son.

“No daddy,” the blonde boy responds. Harry positions himself behind the wheel and after he starts the engine, they finally drive off. Harry would not be Harry if he wouldn’t turn on the radio and sing along with his children. They always prefer his songs and Harry has no problem to fulfill the wish as long as it is his kids. Their happiness is his happiness and to see their smiles on their cute faces is all that he wishes to see for a life time.

When they arrive at the kindergarten, Harry carefully takes Alexandria and Tommy out of their seats and leads them into the building. He helps them to get free from their jackets.

“Behave my loves, is that clear?” he orders softly. “Treat your teacher and your friends with kindness and make sure to involve everyone in your games, okay?” He pulls them in for a hug and after quick kisses and a “See you later”, Harry is back on his way home. There are a lot of ideas swimming in his head about how he is going to spoil his wife for today. First he would make sure to check up if her fever is down and if she had taken her medicine, then he’s going to prepare her a nice bath and afterwards he’s going to cook her a delicious meal. It has been a long time since Y/N has witnessed his cooking skills and now it’s necessary for her to fresh up her mind.

He parks his car in their garage and enters their house. He goes up the stairs to look for Y/N who is still sleeping peacefully in their bed. She has taken her medicine and the bottle he set up for her a while ago his now empty. Harry walks close to her sleeping form and drops on his knees beside her. Laying his hand on her forehead once again, he realizes she’s not that warm as she was in the morning. Thank god. Her fever had subsided for a bit.

Feeling his touch, Y/N opens her eyes and meets his husband’s loving gaze on her. “Hey...” she greets him with a whisper. Harry leans forward and presses his lips on her forehead.

“How you’re feeling, darling? Is there anything I can do for you?” he asks. “Shall I prepare you a relaxing bath, hmm? What do you think about it?”

“That would be lovely, dear,” she responds, a flash of appreciation runs over her face. Harry stretches his hand out for her and slowly helps her to get up. Then, he slings his arms under her legs and lifts her up with a quick motion. Y/N squeaks out of surprise but laughs as she wraps her hands around his neck. He carries her to the bathroom where he instructs her to strip down her pyjamas while he lets run the hot water into the bathtub.

With a content sigh, Y/N takes her place in the bathtub and enjoys the feeling that overwhelms her naked body. Never had she been so relaxed and so calm. Harry watches her in admiration but decides to give her some space. He does not want to invade her privacy. So, he descends the stairs and goes directly to the kitchen where he starts to prepare his special meal. Y/N’s absolutely favourite and the kids also have a liking on it.

Half an hour later, Y/N joins him, looking extremely content and there was barely any trace of the fever she had a few hours ago. Of course, the coughing has not subsided completely but she looks more alive.

“Hmm, something’s smells so good in here,” Y/N comments and hugs her husband from behind. She nuzzles her cheek on his back and enjoys his closeness to her. “What does it might be?”

“Made your favourite, love.” He turns around and takes her face between his hands. “You look better.” He hides his face into her neck, the scent of her vanilla body lotion hits his nostrils and engulfs his senses .

“I feel better, thanks to the pills you gave me and the bath,” she says, her fingers playing with the tiny curls at the nape of his neck.

“I’m glad about it.”

“Are you going to pick up the kids?”

“Of course,” he replies.

That’s what he does an hour later. The twins are so excited to see their father again that they almost take him by surprise as they’re in for a hug. Harry runs his fingers through their blonde hair and gives them a kiss individually.

“Did you behave well my loves?” he asks them.

Both of them nod their heads.

“You have amazing children, Mr. Styles,” the teacher claims. “They are very kind and very polite and treat everyone equally. You taught them well.”

Harry smiles at the compliment and pride fills his body.

“Daddy, can we buy flowers for mummy?” Tommy questions back at the car.

“You know what buddy? I think this is a brilliant idea! Let’s buy flowers.”  

They head to Harry’s favourite florist where he’s always used to buy flowers and ask his kids to pick put the most beautiful bouquet they find. Alexandria and Tommy instantly agree on one and Harry buys it.  

Y/N’s eyes gleam full of joy when her three loved persons enter their house and Tommy carries the bouquet in her hand. The little boy steps forward to its mother and hand her over the gift they made for her.

“Are these for me?” Y/N inquires. Tommy nods his head. She takes it out of his tiny hands and kisses his temple, motioning Alexandria to come over. “Thank you my bubs. I love you.”

“We love you too,” the twins respond.

“What about meh?” Harry pouts, burrowing his face in his hands, pretending to be a crying child.

“No crying, daddy!” Alexandria exclaims and runs to her father immediately, followed by her brother.

“Daddy,don’t cry,” Tommy comforts him. “We love you, too.”

“And what about mommy?” Harry whines. “Does she love me too?”

Y/N rolls her eyes at him, laughing and nodding her head. “Yes, you dork, I love you, too.”

“Prove it!” Harry provokes her and gestures her to join them. She complies and places a soft, gentle kiss on his lips.

The rest of the day is spent with Harry playing with the kids and eventually watching a movie as a family. When Harry starts to sneeze he is aware that Y/N has infected him but he can’t complain about because he knows exactly she’s going to take care of him which means he can spend more time with his family again.

[ffwriteradvisor]

The Mary-Sue Phenomenon

What is a Mary-Sue?

Back in the heyday of the term, nobody could really agree on the exact qualifications. It was one of those ‘I’ll know it when I see it’ type things, though there were always the ‘red flags’ that most people agreed meant one was present. Importance to the plot, being favored or at least being noticed by the rest of the cast in some way or another, highly competent for their situation and background, excessive levels of detail in the design compared to everyone else, incredible powers that may or may not align with the canon up to that point, being ‘special’ in some sort of way,... and being ‘girly’ in some fashion.

Yeah.

The first and most readily visible problem with this is that a lot of this covers the standard protagonist role. More often than not, your protagonist is ‘special’ in some sort of way, possibly because they have a unique ability that sets them apart from their peers or are at least competent enough to get through the story to reach a good ending, making them both memorable and important to the plot. Being relatively important and ‘on-camera’ more, they tend to have interesting designs, though how flashy and complicated those designs are vary on creator tastes and the allowances of the medium.

The second is that this ‘list’ of qualities is that the primary ‘targets’ of a ‘Mary Sue hunt’ are going to be female or non-traditionally masculine characters who have the quality of... well. Existing. The few that I would say don’t run that risk are those that are in the background (thus being shoved out of the protagonist role or even being part of the secondary cast in most cases) or ‘prize’ characters of some description, typically some form of damsel or romantic conquest role.

Even being a ‘canon’ character isn’t exempt from this. It’s not even uncommon. You can find a dozens, if not hundreds of lists of characters canon to their works that have been called Mary Sue based on the lightest of ‘sins’. I saw Barbie make the list for having a number of movies (that are often tongue and cheek and rarely subject to any form of continuity) that put her in various careers and roles based on the various outfits she’s been put in over the years and being *gasp* blonde.

Yes, someone gave her hair color (one that a fair few real-life people have) as a reason why Barbie (a doll designed to represent a blank slate for her owners to use as whatever they need her as, who also has media based around that base concept) is a Mary Sue.

Again... Yeah.

So that gives you an idea of how meaningless the label is in practice.

Let’s take a look at a couple ‘qualifiers’ from a few different quizzes and lists concerning the subject.

‘Name is weird / name is too fitting or special for character’

‘No distinct personality / Personality traits are informed but do not actually come across in the text’

‘Too perfect / lacking flaws / stated flaws do not actually exist’

‘Dark and troubled past / backstory is contradictory and doesn’t make sense / given a mental illness’

‘Too many skills / skill set is vast and poorly defined / too competent / always better than everyone else’

‘Beautiful / fashionably or flashily dressed / unusual or remarkable appearance that doesn’t detract from attractiveness’

‘Unique weapons / unique magic / unique resources’

‘Chosen one / special destiny / has one or more traits that allows both angst and specialness’

‘Unique appearance / strange eyes and hair color’

‘Doesn’t play by the rules of the setting / changes the rules of the setting by existing’

‘In a relationship with one or more canon characters / gets special treatment from those in the setting / changes the personality of the characters in setting’

‘is clearly the most important character in the story’

Most of these - outside of the parodic Sues, who tend to be over the top by design and are usually the result of people going down lists like this while trying to check off every box - are marks of authorial inexperience, either on a technical level or with the setting they’re using. Others are simply character design choices. I’ve never noted a character as being terrible just because they were designed with blue hair or pink eyes. Yes, it could be obtrusive in a setting where nobody else has such things, naturally or not (hair dye is a thing, as are colored contacts), but it’s not an automatic fail. Some characters are going to be beautiful or care more about their appearance than others do - it helps make for a diverse cast.

And then there are things like the mental illness bullet point.

Speaking as someone who lives daily with mental illness, part of which is the result of my ‘dark and troubled backstory’ - which, while not the most awful thing that’s ever happened to anyone in real life, would be taken as over the top in fiction because there’s roughly 18 solid years of incredibly varied and occasionally absurd traumatic events, such as having a carafe of hot coffee poured over my head once during a social event while not being allowed to make noise -, I don’t necessarily have a problem with characters who have the same thing.

I do have a problem with people who make characters like that and then proceed to do none of the research and/or never bring it up outside of the one mention of it, but that trait on its own is not a sin.

Research and respect make for a world of difference when it comes to writing, if nothing else because it’s better than just using something that many other people deal with on the daily as a source of draw-and-discard drama or a quick and easy path to character sympathy.

I mentioned earlier that a lot of the most ‘obvious’ Mary Sues tend to be parodies. Even the one that originated the name ‘Mary Sue’ was so over-the-top that nobody in their right mind would think that the author was doing anything else than sporking the archetype they had just named. There’s other cases that are less obvious, but I prefer to defer to the law of ‘Is it hurting anyone? No? Then mind your own business and don’t ruin anyone else’s day’ when it comes to such things.

Sure, I have a marked dislike for a few particular ‘Sue’-types - Possession Sues, INOS (In Name Only’s), and Gary Stus are a particular annoyance to me, usually because they enjoy a level of popularity for things I don’t appreciate, such as harems, casual douchery, and ‘hard men making hard choices’, often at the cost of characterization or a decent plot. But that’s more a matter of taste than anything else.

Now, if there’s one take away that I would say everyone should avoid (not just as a matter of taste, but from a point of view of an author that likes to make quality work), it’s to make a character who warps everything around them to the detriment of everyone else. There’s no problem with a little wish fulfillment - hell, there’s no problem with a lot of it either! Go wild, have fun! Don’t make fun of other people for doing that too, so long as you’re all following the laws of common decency! - , but you should always remember that no character is perfect and that the rules set for the story (regarding other characters, the society, the plot, and the physics) should apply to all of them.

If you so happen to pick a silly version of those rules because you are writing a silly story / just out to have some silly fun, GO FOR IT. It’s all fanfiction. It isn’t ‘real’. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, even if there are some people who really want to start that fight.

As a final point - I’d like to say that the only unifying trait of ‘Mary-Sue’ characters is that someone decided to call them that at one point or another and that there’s nothing wrong with having a little Mary Sue as a treat.

[lil-loucifer]

1-50 fool

1. Your first OC ever?

Not gonna lie, it was a fuckin Naruto OC I made when I was six

His name was Rei and he specialized in fire-based jutsu 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

Uhhhh, right now I think my favorite is Aurelio Morgenstern, since I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to develop him lately

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

Not really?

4. A character you rarely talk about?

Fuckin Enfer Incendie. A guy with an asshole french name that translates inaccurately into “Hell Fire”

He’s a demon who uses, you guessed it, fire-based powers.

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? 

I can’t decide oh fuck but it’d probably be Enoch Branwen???

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

A lot of my old OCs are white with dark hair because I wasn’t creative back then (Still have trouble with creative designs tbh)

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

I sent a character in for an SYOC a while ago, but she stopped writing it…

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!

Sorta? I’ve been putting together an RP/suggestion blog using Aurelio Morgenstern as an RP character

He’s a demon hunter who lives in a relatively uneventful small town that’s still high in supernatural activity. There’s a local demon hunter community there, but he’s kinda shunned for fighting using the magic of a demon, Azazel. 

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

I mean, I’m 100% down to give Lucian Caelius Luminita to a friend of mine for her story, bc I have nothing to use him in. 

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? 

I… Totally suck at designing overcomplicated outfits, so my OCs normally wear simple clothes

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? 

Aria Hamilton (not related to Hamilton in any way, seriously) is the only upbeat character I’ve ever created.

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

A friend of mine and I have been developing this fuckin story for like, a month or so, about her character, Crystal Ruiz, being raised by one of my (sort-of) good parent OCs.

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? 

Wayland Smith is a huge crack-type character who unintentionally winds up causing catastrophic destruction in the most ridiculous ways that often come off as impossible and inhuman. What’s worse: This man cannot die and literally only exists for me to come up with ridiculous scenarios to have a good laugh.

I made him for The Sims Freeplay and he became the guy who pissed everyone off whenever I got a daily mission that required negative interactions.

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory 

Wilk Argentum: part of an extraterrestrial race made to assimilate with the human ace to determine whether or not they were worth saving after their society collapsed following a major thermonuclear war. 

He got along with the remnants of society well, and went on several adventures with people who befriended him, but ultimately, he unwittingly fulfilled his primary programming by condemning the human race to death, despite it being the only thing he’d ever known.

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

HELL FUCKING YEAH MAN ASK ME ABOUT ANYONE YOU SEE ON HERE I’MA ANSWER ANYTHING

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? 

Faith Branwen, probably. 

17. Any OC OTPs? 

I got these new characters, part of a four-person superhero team I made up for DC Universe Online, and two of them; Wendigo (Power: nature-aligned magic and shapeshifting into man-eating creatures) and Morningstar (Power: Creation-based abilities) slowly develop from casual dating to really strong-ass feelings for each other

There’s also this guy, Dante, who I always wind up shipping with his ex, Michael, but I don’t know how I’d get them back together yet.

Also most of the characters I ship with my friends’ OCs have a special place in my heart, especially if we develop their relationships :3

18. Any OC crackships? 

Not really?

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

Jack Winters was the first OC whose story I really shared with another friend, and we got super close from sharing the stories and eventually getting to know each other, and not just our OCs. Hey guys, shipping gets you places.

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

I only really have one OC with confirmed singing talent, and that is Alto Artrose, who is, ironically, a soprano. 

21. Your most artistic OC

Wilson Pendleton is basically Delson Rowe pre-superpowerification. 

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? 

A friend and I normally joke about Lucian Luminita being a much worse parent than we actually portray him in the story; mostly due to him being a single father, who is also a vampire, raising an angry werewolf child. 

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

Dante “Seraphim,” also known by his codename Lucifer, was originally going to be called Lucifer as his true name, and be a child of the personification of Death, being sent to ensure that people die when they are supposed to. And if they don’t, they get murdered by the Reaper’s Son. 

The idea was scrapped, but eventually revisited by several other OCs later. 

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

Aria Hamilton, because she’s the only one here who isn’t fucked up.

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

My fuckin Homestuck self-insert, Luke Napier. He’s basically me, but physically fit, attractive, and actually handles his responsibilities properly. 

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? 

Nah, not really. 

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? 

Dante “Seraphim’s” story wound up being heavily influenced by the song “Take Me To Church,” with it’s whole ‘growing out of religion’ theme. 

28. Your most dangerous OC? 

Enoch Branwen, the “Atropos” of this Branwen Moirai. The Branwens preside over the mortality of gods; when an immortal’s time has passed, it is Enoch who is sent to dispatch them. She has killed numerous entities, and is responsible for the Fall of the Old Gods. 

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

Aurelio Morgenstern, Wilson Pendleton, and Sora Williams; the problem children.

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? 

Maybe Enoch’s girlfriend, who still doesn’t have a concrete name. 

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Aurelio Morgenstern blogs about his activities as a demon hunter, not that anyone really listens.

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? 

Ian (motherfucking) Grey. This kid’s story throws him into a killing field made for children with magical powers, where he eventually gets possessed by the Wormwood Star; an entity that throws his magical abilities into overdrive. 

Ian has a natural affinity for healing magic, and the Wormwood Star strengthens him to the point where he can heal from injuries almost instantly. The horror of his game isn’t the threat to your survival, it’s from all the pain you endure as you fight your way out of this hellhole. Your enemies can’t kill you, you can’t kill them. But they will hunt you and hunt you until your mind breaks and you can’t fight anymore. 

Basically, imagine Dark Souls with no weapons. 

33. Your shyest OC?

Can’t really say :c

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Dante “Seraphim” has a twin sister, Aria. Her codename is Lilith.

35. Any sibling characters? 

Aside from the “Seraphim” twins, the Branwens are one of my favorite sibling groups!

They’re like the moirai, but they decide when gods die. Faith, the eldest, predicts the lifespans and destinies of the gods when they’re created. Wolfgang, the middle child, watches over the world and ensures that all the gods and deities are doing their jobs, playing their roles, and having faith in the Branwens’ writings.

When a god steps out of line, or refuses to lie down and die, they send Enoch to do what must be done. 

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? 

HELL YEAH I do. 

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human 

Lucian Luminita is a vampire, the Branwen siblings are sorta-gods, Dante and Aria “Seraphim” are half-angel and half-demon, respectively, etc.

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? 

Enoch Branwen and Aria Hamilton. 

39. Introduce any character you want 

Lemme tell you about Become Death:

He’s an ally of that superhero team I mentioned earlier, with Wendigo and Morningstar. Obviously, “Become Death” isn’t his real name, but it’s a nickname that just stuck.

Death is an enigma. He doesn’t really know who he is, where he’s from. He just knows that his job is to punish the wicked. The evil. He takes no pleasure in killing, but it’s what he does best.

Before he died, Death was an infamous serial killer. He was brought back to life by an unknown entity for an unknown purpose, but now, he works in the dark to preserve the light. 

He also hasn’t been developed beyond the fact that he wears a fancy suit, and there’s a skull mask grafted onto his face. 

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

Most of the fondest memories I have about OCs is just taking about them with my friends!! 

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

Throwback to the time I commissioned my sister to draw my Persona 3 OC and he came out looking exactly like a fucking Haikyuu character with a gun (tw for suicidal imagery and guns)

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? 

Uhhhh my fuckin Percy Jackson OCs

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

Dark clothes and expensive fashion, friends. A lot of leather. 

Also punk rock. It’s good. 

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

They all have pretty unique concepts and stories, as far as I’m told.

45. A character you no longer use?

Luke Napier. Every incarnation of him has ben replaced with a “Jasper Morris.” 

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

Nah, nobody’s seen me write a story ^_^ 

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? 

I’m pretty sure @theninjabookworm101 has at one point during our friendship. 

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

Nobody is innocent

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

Aria Hamilton, purely for the sake of poking fun at her crush

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wantIf you want, you can tag your ask answers with #yetanotherOCmeme so I can check them out too `v´9

Hnnnnggghhhh alright so lemme tell you about this time I tried to do worldbuilding

So I made this fuckin steampunk-themed world once, right? And it’s still largely unfinished, and there’s only one real place that’s developed in any capacity and that’s the city of Durendal in the nation of Wayland. The Waylandian city is widely known for being amongst the most historical cities in the world. It was one of the most rapidly-advancing cities during the industrial revolution. It was in Durendal where most scholars and inventors joined together to create the first stable airship. It is in Durendal where the strongest council of magicians established its headquarter. It was in Durendal where the infamous Wick Rebellion was cut down by Royal Protector Daniel Maxim. And it is in Durendal where the Licht Sisters will face off against a conspiracy against the Grand Sovereign of Wayland itself. 

(That’s not really an OC thing, but hey, it’s the only story concept I have saved rn that I didn’t share from)

[anneedmonds]

Je Suis Pretty Bloody Relaxed

I’ve just been away for four days and I didn’t do any work at all! Four whole days without my laptop! Taking childbirth out of the equation (and those necessary, blurry months either side) I haven’t spent that much time entirely work-free since I went to Florida for the New Year which was in – please hold whilst I Google my own life – 2013. Over six and a half years ago.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been on holiday since then, I’ve relaxed since then, but never – not for more than about two days in a row – have I been parted from my trusty MacBook Pro. We can’t be separated, usually, and I’ll tell you why: if there’s ever going to be an administrative crisis, such as a server going down or a client wanting some sort of detailed analysis of a brand campaign or an app developer needing the login to my developer account, you can guarantee that it will happen approximately seven hours after I’ve left home. So having my laptop with me is like being in a mobile office – I have everything I need, apart from a chair that spins (surely a must) and a stapler (probably not so important these days), and I can fulfil almost every type of task from whichever far-flung hotel room or holiday home I’ve hunkered down in.

But the only problem with this mobile office scenario is that the temptation to check in on things is just far too strong. You start off by logging into BA.com to choose your seats for the flight back and before you know it you’ve tinkered with your website design, spent four hours reorganising your Youtube videos into keyword-optimised categories and written a quick comparative piece on budget sunscreens. Instead of being out in the warm, lying beneath a fig tree with a glass of something chilled, you’ve spent the majority of your precious afternoon in a boxy hotel room listening to the air con unit wheeze, drinking a minibar coke that’s so expensive it’ll potentially require its own secured loan.

So for this trip I left the laptop at home. I should say, in the interests of complete transparency, that I left the laptop and the children at home. Which was a real first. Mr AMR and I have been away for a couple of nights in the UK on our own together, but never abroad. It felt incredibly odd for the first three, maybe four minutes and then we just wiped away our tears and got on with the difficult task of doing absolutely anything we wanted to do, at whatever time, without having to constantly look around us to check whether one or more small child was trying to escape/eat something inadvisable/draw on walls with a red crayon.

I jest, obviously, we missed them an enormous amount on the first day.

I can highly recommend a short break without your children, if you can manage it and you have trusted family members that can step in to take care of the babysitting element. We don’t really have family that nearby, so it’s a very infrequent occurrence for us, but boy is it reviving. My children are my absolute raison d’etre, the lights of my life – I often feel quite physically pained on the occasions I have to go away for work – but I would say that, on rough calculation, a two night holiday somewhere hot without your dependents in tow gives the same degree of relaxation as 4,356 days somewhere hot with them.

It’s like concentrated, hyper-boosted relaxation time. You really do completely switch off – it’s amazing how quickly you can go from highly-strung hunter of missing felt-tip pen lids to laid-back, zen goddess. I was so relaxed by day three that I could barely speak – I was so relaxed that I let a wasp feast on a speck of air-dried ham that had stuck to my knee. And I have a fear of wasps that nears phobia level.

Maybe it’s different if your kids are older, and going on holiday with them gets easier, but still. What can be more rejuvenating than passing on nearly all your responsibilities to another person? You can still stress about whether you’re going to accidentally damage the hire car, with its €1500 insurance excess and wobbly wheels, and you can still worry about the mosquitoes and the currency exchange rate and whether the “do not disturb” sign will actually stop the cleaner from opening the door when you’re still in bed/naked in the shower/on the toilet, but ultimately you’re fretting over the small-fry.

Holiday anxieties are not the same as parenting anxieties. And of course you return home to the same old insecurities and worries �� whether you shout too much, whether a temperature of 39C requires a call to 111, whether any supermarket will ever stock girls’ white knee-high socks ever again – but I can’t help but thinking that a few days’ respite from the relentless, often repetitive daily routine is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.

Also I must say this (soppy part): the excitement when you’re on the return journey, knowing that you’re going to be reunited, is almost as good as the relaxation. My two tiny people were asleep, but I risked waking them up and I scooped them into my arms (separately, I’m not Hulk Hogan) so that I could give them a squeeze and have a good old smell of their hair.

Question: do holidays with kids get easier, or is it just that the demands on you change? Are holidays with children ever truly relaxing? I ask this non-rhetorically, because mine are so small and I have no idea what’s coming to me. I like to imagine that holidays with teens are easy-peasy, because you can surely just drop them off at the windsurfing depot and pick them up again at tea time, but then do they roll their eyes at you when they’re not allowed to use their phones in the restaurant? Do you have to watch them in case they fall in love with the bar-tender and then sneak out of the adjoining room (interconnecting doors!) in the early hours of the morning? Let me know. I’ll begin mental preparation tomorrow.

PS: I went to Provence for a wedding and it was no kids allowed, which was possibly one of the greatest gifts the bride and groom could have given to their guests. I mean at first, I did think, oh, the children would’ve looked so cute in little smart outfits and it would have been such fun taking them to all of the lovely old towns, but after approximately eighteen seconds it dawned on me that I would be going to a wedding. With wine. Not pregnant. Totally at liberty to wallow in a hangover for as long as I wanted.

As it happened, I didn’t really have a hangover but the wedding was epic. I don’t want to embarrass her, but @maddiechester was the most gorgeous bride and did half of her speech in fluent French, which impressed me to the point that I almost cried. (I cry at odd things.) It also made me want to scrub up on my French, so I think I might download one of those online courses that I can listen to through my earphones. Y’know, in my spare time. Any recommendations, drop them below.

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[foamingkitty]

Motherhood can strip away your identity. Here’s how to get it back!

Annie Ridout is founder and editor of The Early Hour – a digital parenting and lifestyle magazine for people who are up early. I was introduced to Annie last year when she ran a story about our family gap year on her site, and we have stayed in touch ever since. She is also a freelance journalist (the Guardian, Red Magazine, Stylist), copywriter and speaker. She has two children (a three-year-old daughter, and nine-month-old son). 

Annie reached out to us and offered to give us her expert tips for regaining her sense of self after becoming a mother, and we thought this would be a wonderful topic for our Tuesday Tips series. I love her tips below — especially the one about spending two hours alone each week. I could not agree more about how beneficial it is to have time to yourself! Read below for more great tips (and feel free to leave your own tips in the comments section below!)…

……………….

When my daughter was born, I was instantly infatuated. She amazed me in every way possible; I’d never known love like this. It was powerful. But her birth coincided with the loss of my full time job as a copywriter (I was freelance, so had no maternity rights).

Until this point, my social identity had been largely associated with how I was spending my time. For the past few years, I’d been a freelance writer. Before that, a Masters student. And now I was a mother. An incredible job, a rewarding and fulfilling job, but it felt like ‘mother’ didn’t encompass the whole me.

When my daughter was 10 months old, I started working two days a week for an online magazine. The following year, I set up my own (The Early Hour). Now people saw me as a writer and editor again – and I began to feel more visible. It added a new layer to my life.

It’s ludicrous that full time mothers should feel as if what they’re doing doesn’t matter, but that is often the reality. We’re not paid for our work. I know how it feels to submit fully to motherhood, but then feel you’d like something additional, for yourself, that doesn’t involve your children. If you feel similarly, these tips may help…

Here’s how to regain your sense of self as a mother:

1. Spend two hours alone, each week

Two hours sounds like nothing, right? Well you’d be amazed how few hours you get entirely to yourself each week. What with the baby that won’t sleep, toddler who wants another snack, partner wanting to offload his work issues. So set aside two hours and leave the house.

If you’re in a relationship, ask your partner to put this time in his diary – he’s on child duty. And go for a walk, or to the cinema alone, or for a coffee and to read your book. If you’re a single parent, ask a friend or family member to help out for two hours; it’s a tiny favour to ask. You could even do a swap.

2. Write down your goals and dreams

What does your perfect future look like? Would you like to live in another country, in a bigger house, out in the countryside, or in a bustling city? Would you like another baby, or a new job? Do you dream of starting your own business? Get it down on paper.

Create a mood board with images (cut out of magazines, printed off Pinterest) or draw a picture. If you’re not feeling creative, simply write a list. Once you’ve committed it to paper, you’ll automatically make changes to your life to enable these things to happen. You’ll be amazed.

3. Make a new friend

As a mother, you’re faced with loads of potential new friends, but you may not feel hugely confident when it comes to introducing yourself. However, that mother across the room at soft play is probably feeling EXACTLY how you are: a bit lost, keen for a new mum friend.

So get talking to her. If you don’t know what to ask, start with her child’s age or name. Or tell her something about your kid (eg. my daughter always heads for the ball pit first. My son loves to just sit and watch from the sidelines). A new friend can feel as exciting as a new love interest.

4. Take a look at your wardrobe

If you’re slumping around in tracksuit bottoms and old trainers, you probably won’t feel your best. Putting on a new outfit can make you feel (and look) like a completely different person. It’s great for self-esteem. So get some new clothes, and feel transformed.

You don’t need to buy expensive designer wares, you could raid the rails at your local charity shop, pick something up on Ebay or borrow a sewing machine and make something. You can find inspiration here on Babyccino or on Pinterest.

5. Ask your friends for help

Sometimes motherhood can feel like an endless list of chores; like you are simply the person who puts food on the table, laundry on the line, washes dishes and fills out forms. But to your friends, you’re much more than that. So ask them what you mean to them.

Meet a friend for a coffee and tell them you can’t remember who you were before you became a mother. Ask them what three words they’d have used to describe the ‘old’ you. That might be ‘fun’, ‘spontaneous’, ‘reliable’, ‘kind’. Now remember: you are still all these things, alongside being a mum.

The post Motherhood can strip away your identity. Here’s how to get it back! appeared first on Babyccino Kids: Daily tips, Children's products, Craft ideas, Recipes & More.

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