#this 'closing everyone out' aspect of Pirkko's arc doesn't reach closure until freakin' Gyala Delve so. yeah.

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

every now and then I just get myself thinking about the different mirror reflection moments between Flourish and Regrowth AU, and the layers they both add to each other through fresh context.

in both AUs, Pirkko sustains a severe facial injury during the battle for Orr-- in Flourish it's on the right, and in Regrowth, the left.

however, in Regrowth she adamantly refuses to leave the battlefield in spite of her wound because she knows that the Pact has no substitute for her; if she falls back, they all get overrun. she keeps fighting and fighting until no Risen remain, and by then... the damage can't be repaired even by their finest menders. she loses her left eye, which is later replaced with a mechanical prototype implant. to the casual observer it looks like some sort of high-tech monocle, but no. she was just lucky to have such gifted doctors at her side.

in Flourish, though? when Pirkko tries to insist that they need her there, that she can't afford to pull out-- Saoirse and Ceara take the lead, reminding her that she doesn't have to take it all on alone. they're a team, and they have her back-- no matter what. they promise to hold the front while she gets medical attention... so she does.

as a result, her wound is actually repaired in time by the menders, and she doesn't lose her eye-- though she does have some visible scarring around it. at first Pirkko's a bit insecure about how noticeable it is, but with time... she comes to wear the scar proudly.

that battle was the conflict that cemented their roles as a team.

and that scar is a reminder of it; a lasting symbol of their unity.

but when you add the two together, that's where you get the full story of what this event is all about; in Regrowth, Pirkko shoulders every burden, every conflict, every battle, no matter how badly it damages her in the process. she hides her pain and buries it deep; the world needs her more than she needs it, she reasons. just as the 'monocle' hides the far more severe injury she sustained, Pirkko keeps her true nature that much more hidden-- not because she's ashamed of it, but because she doesn't want anyone to worry. she's the hero who protects Tyria, not the other way around. she'll keep going and going and going until she breaks, because no one else can.

but in Flourish there are others who can. she isn't alone. she doesn't have to shoulder all these burdens and struggles entirely on her own. that's the way it was meant to be, but Regrowth Pirkko will never know this. she has no idea that she wasn't built to withstand this much pressure, and no understanding for how badly it's breaking her. Flourish Pirkko wears this scar as a symbol because she's not afraid of who she is, and she's not afraid of the world seeing her, either. she's proud to have faced this much adversity and made it through.

in Flourish it's the first step towards their cohesion as a team.

but in Regrowth it's her first step towards closing everyone out.