#thirsty Lando compilation

[artemispt]

[freeuselandonorris]

in the vein of lando scrunch faces, how about top five lando moments (with. ✨intention✨, if you will 👀👀)

lmao thank you anon i am assuming this means the ones that make me most thirsty and/or where he's the most fruity little beast? yes? cool good excellent

frankly i could compile a top 50 for you but here are 5 highlights

1. the brazen thirst moment - watching this clip never gets any less insane. i really do try not to speculate about the actual, real-life sexuality of people i've never met and try my hardest to practice separation of church and state where RPF is concerned but my god lando makes it hard sometimes (that's what she said etc etc)

2. cooling down after singapore in the sluttiest way humanly possible - this clip is actually pornography. i don't know how it was broadcast on daytime tv. absolutely insane.

3. can't find a gif but when he went into subspace doing neck training and said 'thank you' so breathily it freaked even morgan out (honestly that whole video really)

4. the crop top - shame it was at the behest of james corden, but otherwise this is 10/10 no notes and he should wear outfits like this more often please and thank you

5. the fruity lil wink - a recent entry because i hadn't seen this until about three weeks ago, but it's an incredible mix of extremely slutty, extremely camp and also sort of really endearing that i simply cannot cope with actually!!

and a bonus with a plea attached: another one of my favourite lando moments is that bit in the red flag green flag video where he says "i'm a scorpio and let me tell you all about it!" in a sort of valley girl accent and waves his little flag. and somehow i have NEVER seen a gif of it?? if any of my talented gifmaker mutuals or followers are reading this please consider this a request, i will love you forever!!

[trillgutterbug]

all right all right you've done the Who Fucks/Who Can't Fuck even with a Sex For Dummies book in their peripheral vision for Narcos. Can you grace us with your thoughts for Star Wars? Who Fucks? Who Couldn't Fuck Even If the Force Sent a Ghost Specifically to Give Them Guidance on How?

lol well since this subject could literally take lifetimes of dedicated scholarly work to properly interrogate, star wars being what it is, i’ll just give you my condensed thoughts on main movie characters, although full disclosure that this list has been compiled primarily by the bae, @kaasknot, who has extremely valid and accurate opinions about these things.

Fucks:

1. poe. this is obvious. requires no further explanation. 

2. lando. also requires no explanation. capes.

3. palpatine, apparently. i do not believe this retconning party line about a clone.

4. speaking of clones: the clones! but only each other. they have negative game when it comes to anyone who doesn’t share their exact genetic material.

5. R2. possibly fucks the most in the whole sw universe, as evidenced by his regular onscreen ~*interfacing*~ with every CPU he uhh comes across. also just has wild bde for someone with technically no d.

6. leia. she should be top of this list tbh. incidentally i ship her and poe like whoa, for obvious reasons.

7. i’m putting chewie on this list even though i know i’m wrong, because i’m also thirsty

Does Not Fuck:

1. luke. is ace!

2. obi-wan. is in the dictionary under ‘virgin.’

3. maul. is next to obi-wan in the dictionary under ‘virgin,’ so that when you shut the dictionary, their pictures kiss. 

4. jango. only managed to reproduce via test tube. however, this is a deliberate lifestyle choice bc he is simply too cool to fuck.

5. boba. is not too cool to fuck, is simply painfully awkward.

6. KYLO. NO ONE HAS EVER FUCKED LESS THAN KYLO. ABSOLUTE DISASTER. CRIES IN BED. PREMATURE EJACULATION. MAKES HORRIBLE O FACES. HAS A THING FOR FEET. THINKS TALKING ABOUT CHILDHOOD TRAUMA IN MORTIFYING DETAIL IS SEXY. INAPPROPRIATE BONERS AT ALL HOURS AND LOCATIONS. USES HIS WHOLE TONGUE DURING KISSING. GROSS AND BAD. please refer to my ao3 for extremely detailed descriptions of how bad kylo is in bed.

[artemispt]

[artemispt]

https://twitter.com/rafastefbaes/status/1662843861670961153?s=46&t=c5TzFoZclHJBjyR-5qpelw found this carlando pic on twitter, haven’t seen it doing rounds on tumblr, definitely deserves to be seen haha

Omg thank you anon! 🫠

Carlos knows how to make Lando go insane.