#thirsty Lando compilation

[artemispt]

[artemispt]

I saw this comment on IG:

And totally remembered this moment:

Like c’mon… Yes, the domesticity 😭

i,, the insistent way he pushes it towards lando,,, domesticity

from @interlagosed post <3

[trillgutterbug]

all right all right you've done the Who Fucks/Who Can't Fuck even with a Sex For Dummies book in their peripheral vision for Narcos. Can you grace us with your thoughts for Star Wars? Who Fucks? Who Couldn't Fuck Even If the Force Sent a Ghost Specifically to Give Them Guidance on How?

lol well since this subject could literally take lifetimes of dedicated scholarly work to properly interrogate, star wars being what it is, i’ll just give you my condensed thoughts on main movie characters, although full disclosure that this list has been compiled primarily by the bae, @kaasknot, who has extremely valid and accurate opinions about these things.

Fucks:

1. poe. this is obvious. requires no further explanation. 

2. lando. also requires no explanation. capes.

3. palpatine, apparently. i do not believe this retconning party line about a clone.

4. speaking of clones: the clones! but only each other. they have negative game when it comes to anyone who doesn’t share their exact genetic material.

5. R2. possibly fucks the most in the whole sw universe, as evidenced by his regular onscreen ~*interfacing*~ with every CPU he uhh comes across. also just has wild bde for someone with technically no d.

6. leia. she should be top of this list tbh. incidentally i ship her and poe like whoa, for obvious reasons.

7. i’m putting chewie on this list even though i know i’m wrong, because i’m also thirsty

Does Not Fuck:

1. luke. is ace!

2. obi-wan. is in the dictionary under ‘virgin.’

3. maul. is next to obi-wan in the dictionary under ‘virgin,’ so that when you shut the dictionary, their pictures kiss. 

4. jango. only managed to reproduce via test tube. however, this is a deliberate lifestyle choice bc he is simply too cool to fuck.

5. boba. is not too cool to fuck, is simply painfully awkward.

6. KYLO. NO ONE HAS EVER FUCKED LESS THAN KYLO. ABSOLUTE DISASTER. CRIES IN BED. PREMATURE EJACULATION. MAKES HORRIBLE O FACES. HAS A THING FOR FEET. THINKS TALKING ABOUT CHILDHOOD TRAUMA IN MORTIFYING DETAIL IS SEXY. INAPPROPRIATE BONERS AT ALL HOURS AND LOCATIONS. USES HIS WHOLE TONGUE DURING KISSING. GROSS AND BAD. please refer to my ao3 for extremely detailed descriptions of how bad kylo is in bed.

[artemispt]

[artemispt]

[artemispt]

https://twitter.com/rafastefbaes/status/1662843861670961153?s=46&t=c5TzFoZclHJBjyR-5qpelw found this carlando pic on twitter, haven’t seen it doing rounds on tumblr, definitely deserves to be seen haha

Omg thank you anon! 🫠

Carlos knows how to make Lando go insane.

[artemispt]

I think it’s the same moment ❤️🧡:

a carlando pic per day till bahrain 60/92