#thinks bruce springsteen is 'fine i guess'

[signals-over-the-air]

my current favorite work pastime is asking my boss his opinions on different bands/artists because his takes are just so fucking out of pocket and wild

[artaxlivs]

Eddie’s sitting in a lounge chair in Steve’s backyard. Well, it’s not a backyard perse, it’s a huge patio with a pool and then a whole fucking forest. Who’s house backs up to the forest? Do the Harrington’s own the forest, too?

Whatever, doesn’t matter. 

He’s sitting in the lounge chair in nothing but cut off shorts and his jewelry, slowly bakng in the sun. What’s left of his beer in it’s sun warmed can is held loosely in one hand when Max plops down in the chair next to him. El gently sits in the same chair as Max and the both stare at Eddie. He doesn’t look at them though.

After thirty seconds, Max asks, “What are you doing?”

“Just wait for it.” Eddie tells her, sipping on his warm beer but not moving his eyes from the poolhouse across the patio.

Both girls look over, shading their eyes with their hands. All three of them wait silently. After another minute or so, the poolhouse door swings open and Steve comes out, pushing something that looks like a vacuum cleaner. He’s wearing his headphones and sort of bouncing to the beat as he drags a big hose part of it over to the pool filter opening thingy. Popping the plastic lid off, Steve kneels down, reaches through the opening for the vacuumy attachment hose he’s holding through the pool side. It looks very complicated and Eddie doesn’t give any fucks about pool cleaning or safety or whatever the fuck is happening there.

What he cares about is all that lovely golden skin on display. Steve’s shirtless, modesty about that hairy chest or those bat bite scars nowhere in sight, wearing swim trunks so short that Eddie can see the little love bite he himself left on the inside of one of those thick thighs this morning. Left it so high that no one else would see it but he’d forgotten that this man is allergic to inseams longer than his pointer finger. 

Steve must get the hose attached because he stands back up, shakes the water off of his hands and gently lowers the pool vacuum into the water, holding the hose thingy as it sinks to the bottom. That done, he dances back into the poolhouse on barefeet, probably listening to fucking Bruce Springsteen or Queen because the guy actually has way more music cred than the kids give him credit for. There’s a click and low drone as he turns the filter on and the vacuum starts to roll around on the bottom of the pool.

Max turns to Eddie and grins. El doesn’t looks away from where Steve has disappeared into the poolhouse. “So we’re ogling Steve.” She says with a wolfish grin. No question. It’s a statement.

“Red!” Eddie sputters, looking away from the poolhouse to give her his best stink eye. “You are children!”

El makes a raspberry noise with her lips and rolls her eyes in a way that looks far too much like Max - or Mike.

Max scoffs, “We’re fifteen, you asshole. Tell us what you were looking at when you were fifteen and we’ll stop.”

Nope. He will not be doing that. No one ever needs to know what young Eddie was using for ....ew he’s not going to think of them doing anything he was doing at fifteen. Gross.

“Mayfield. You’re ruining it. Watch quietly and I won’t tell Steve.”

El grins too this time and settles into a more comfortable position. She and Max share a triumphant look and lean closer together. Probably to whisper to each other where he can’t hear them. Good. Eddie doesn’t want to know.

Steve comes back out, waves at them like the innocent babe that he is and then starts wielding a giant fly swatter - or wait, it’s a pool net. It’s like twelve feet long and Eddie can clearly see the muscles on Steve’s stomach and arms flex as he scoops out leaves and summer bugs from the middle of pool with it. By the time he’s satisfied with the now pristine surface of the pool, there’s a fine sheen of sweat on Steve. If Eddie wasn’t sitting next to two teenage girls, he’d probably be over there by now, climbing Steve like a fucking tree.

Who invited them? Oh wait, they did. Happy fucking summer he guesses.

The captain of the swim team disappears into the poolhouse again and when he comes out this time, he’s got a screwdriver and a lightbulb in his hands for some reason. Setting them on the edge of the pool, he dives in and Eddie was not prepared for that. Steve’s all sleek and long limbed, sunkissed as he barely makes a splash into the pool. When he comes up, he flicks his hair back and swims over to where he left the screwdriver, putting it between his teeth and pushing himself below the surface.

Steve really shouldn’t have let the girls come over to swim today. He should have known what watching this was gonna do to Eddie. Damn him. He hears the girls giggling and sighing as he watches his boyfriend replace the light in the pool underwater. Like, he’s under water the whole time. Jesus, how long can Steve hold his breath for and what else...nope, don’t think about it.

Eddie has zero idea of how much time has passed but eventually Steve gets out of the pool, drags the vacuum thing out - holy wet back muscles Batman - and puts it back in the poolhouse. Dripping and carrying a towel in one hand and his walkman in the other, Steve wanders over to the three of them and then shakes himself like a fucking dog, The girls squeal and Eddie doesn’t because he honestly needed the cool down.

“You guys enjoy the show?” Steve smirks.

Fucking ‘A they did. Thank you very much. Eddie can’t wait to drag Steve inside and ravish him now.

That doesn’t happen. Because the girls, while old enough to thirst after an adult man, are apparently not old enough for Steve to leave alone in the pool for the thirty minutes it would take for him to bend Eddie over his bed and fuck him - honestly they could probably make it happen in fifteen if they tried. So instead, they play babysitters all afternoon and when Hop finally picks the two troublemakers up, Eddie’s too goddamn sunburnt to get laid.

Very gently, Steve rubs aloe into Eddie’s lobster red shoulders and vulnerable spiderweb of scars across his stomach, the tops of his knees and across his nose. “And what did we learn?” Steve snarks at him.

“To put sunscreen on before you take your shirt off.” Eddie replies morosely from where he’s laying on his back on Steve’s cool sheets, staring up at the ceiling and deeply regretting his lack of foresight.

He almost jackknives up when Steve tugs the waistband of his shorts down to expose his still white underbelly and kisses him just above his hairline. “Mmmhhmm, there is one part of you that escaped the mean summer sunshine,” he sucks a bruise into Eddie’s skin where he’d left the kiss, tugging gently to help Eddie out of his scratchy jean cut offs. “And lucky for you, I’m a giver.”

Happy fucking summer indeed.

***That’s all there is of this one but feel free to check out my masterlist of full fics here.  If you’re thirsty for Bottom Eddie being feral over Steve, Drummer Steve is the one I suggest. If you’re looking for kinky & clueless Top Eddie then An Accidental Flogging is probably more your thing. Happy reading!

[krirebr]

Caught Up in Your Trap

Pairing: dark!Andy Barber x f!reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: You spend your first day in your new home. Part of the Trapped AU.

Warnings: Dark elements, kidnapping, human trafficking, drugging, training, punishment, isolation, injury, forced intimacy - Just trust me when I say that this is dark. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Masterlist

A/N: Oh my god, you guys. Uh, happy sin day, I guess?? 🤣 Because I am apparently incapable of just leaving a one-shot alone, this is a prequel to I Don't Want a Lot for Christmas spurred by some unhinged 4 AM thots. It is definitely the darkest thing I've written so far. Whoops.

Big thanks as always to @paperweight91 who was not only the fantastic sounding board she always is, and let me ramble on about all my research into furnaces of all things but also helped me figure out the title for both this fic and the greater AU it's now a part of (🤦🏻‍♀️ Seriously, Kris, just stop!). Hat tip to Bruce Springsteen for both, as well. I'm sure he'd be thrilled. 😂

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. Even if it's just screeching at me. As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

Andy pulled up at the address he’d been given, more surprised than he should have been that it was an abandoned warehouse. Of course, this sort of deal would be completed there. He should have known from the sorts of channels he’d had to go through to set it up. Connections left over from his days in the DA’s office. Well, that wasn’t the side of the law he was on anymore. 

He walked into the large open space that made up most of the building to find a man standing in the middle of a few folding chairs. He had a neatly trimmed mustache and was wearing sharp but tight clothing. He wasn’t who caught Andy’s attention, though. No, that was you, slumped over in one of the chairs, wearing the clothes you must have been taken in. Even like this, he could tell your pictures hadn’t done you justice. You were absolutely perfect. Or you would be, once he was done.

“Barber!” the man called out, a satisfied smirk raising his mustache. “How nice of you to join us!”

“Hansen,” Andy answered evenly. He nodded at you, “She ok?”

“Oh, she’s fine. Just on enough horse tranqs to move her across the country without her realizing it. She’ll only be out for another day or so.”

Andy walked over to you. “I’m sure you don’t mind if I check for myself. With the amount of money I’m paying you.” Hansen gestured for him to go ahead, so he placed a gentle hand on the pulse in your neck, pleased to feel that it was strong and steady. He took a step back and opened the untraceable banking app on his phone. He clicked the transfer button, moving an ungodly amount of money from his numbered account in the Caymans to the account Lloyd had given him. “Alright,” he said, “the money’s in your account.”

The other man snapped his fingers and someone appeared out of the shadows, holding a tablet. “And I’m sure you don’t mind,” Hansen said as the new man tapped his screen, “if I check for myself. With the amount of work I’ve done for you.”

They all waited in tense silence for the confirmation of the transfer to come through. Andy couldn’t take his eyes off you, eager to finally get you home. After everything he’d been through, this was what he deserved. The perfect wife, the perfect family, the perfect life. And he was going to do it right this time, taking full control until he had exactly what he wanted. Nothing left to chance. It was costing him a pretty penny, but it was worth it.

The man with the tablet nodded at Hansen, who clapped his hands together. “Alright!” he said. “Let’s get this done. My men will get her settled in your car while we finish up.” Two more men came out from the edge of the room and started to put their hands on you. Andy couldn’t help the growl that came out of him. Hansen laughed. “Don’t worry, Mr. ADA, they won’t hurt your precious new wife. You have my word.” 

Andy gave a hesitant nod, as they carried you out of the warehouse, clicking the unlock button on his car fob so that they could get you settled. He didn’t take his eyes off you until you were gone.

Hansen reached down and picked up a thick folder. “Everything you’ll need is in here. Everything for her new identity, all in order, all immaculate. Marriage license. Anything from her old life you might need. Although I’d get what you need from those quickly and then burn them.” 

Andy took the folder and briefly paged through it. New birth certificate, social security card, IDs, passport. Everything he’d need to start your new life. He put the folder in his briefcase. “Thank you. Anything else?”

Hansen smirked again. “Eager to get started?” He leered in the direction you’d disappeared. “Can’t say I blame you.”

Andy cleared his throat, not appreciating the way Hansen was talking about what was his. “Yes, I would like to get us both home. Are we done here?”

“Sure sure. You have a good time now,” he smirked.

Andy gave him a curt nod and then exited in the direction Hansen’s men had taken you. There was no sign of them by his car, but you were laid out across the backseat. He opened the door and leaned in to brush a gentle finger across your cheek. He wouldn’t be able to relax until you were secured inside his home. It was so close now.

This wasn’t your room. You’d woken up some time ago (you couldn’t say how long ago exactly. There were no clocks, no windows) in the most comfortable bed you’d ever felt. You thought it might swallow you up, it was so soft. Luxurious. The whole room was that way. Beautiful. Rich. You were dressed in a satin nightgown that wasn’t at all like anything you owned. You tried very hard not to think about the fact that someone must have changed you. The door was locked from the outside, a small keypad right under the doorknob. You tried banging on the door. Yelling for someone. Nothing. A quick exploration of the room hadn’t yielded anything either – the two other doors were also locked, a dresser held only men’s clothing. So you’d spent the last who knows how long just laying in the bed, trying not to panic or cry. You weren’t very successful at either.

The most disturbing thing you’d discovered since you’d woken up here was the set of rings on your left hand. One featured a large diamond, the other was a simpler band filled with comparatively tiny diamonds. The bands were fused together like you remembered your mom’s engagement and wedding rings being. It took a long time to normalize your breathing after that discovery.

Just as you were about to drift asleep again, for want of anything else to do, you heard a few soft beeps, the lock click, and the doorknob move. You leaped up and huddled in the far corner of the room between the wall and the bed, holding a pillow in front of you. There was nothing else in the room to use to defend yourself. Even the lamps were bolted down – you’d checked. 

The door slowly opened and a man walked in. He was tall, over 6 feet, and broad. He had dark, soft-looking hair, and a well-kept beard. He wore a gray cotton tee and jeans. If your adrenaline hadn’t been spiking, you would have found him so handsome. But as it was, you pushed yourself further into the corner.

He was carrying a tray, which he set down on one of the nightstands. From your vantage point, you could see a glass of water and a bowl. You weren’t feeling inclined to take anything from this man.

Your eyes cautiously tracked him as he came around to the foot of the bed. “How are you feeling?” he asked, his voice deep but gentle.

You didn’t say anything, just kept watching him. He leveled you with a stern look that sent a chill down your spine. His voice was much more rigid when he said, “I expect an answer when I ask a question, sweetheart.” 

You ignored him again, instead asking, “Who are you?”

He took a deep breath, flexing both hands. Extreme irritation passed over his face before it was replaced with a practiced calm. He sat at the foot of the bed and patted the space next to him. “Come sit,” he said. You didn’t move. “Now,” he growled. Something in his tone made it clear, not only that he would move you himself if he had to, but even more so, that you didn’t want it to come to that. You got up and sat on the far edge of the bed. He reached over and grabbed your arm hard, dragging you into his side. You cried out but he shushed you. “Alright,” he said, “I will answer your question once you answer mine. How are you feeling?”

This was the most scared you’d ever been. You had to take a few deep breaths before you were able to say. “I have a headache and I’m a little nauseous. And I’m very scared.”

He gently took your hand in his and cooed at you. “That’d be the drugs they used to knock you out. You’ll feel better when they’re completely out of your system. Eating will help. You can have some soup once we’re done talking.” He paused, for what you didn’t know. You didn’t say anything. He smiled. “You can ask your question now. Good girl waiting for permission.” 

Your head swung to look at him. That hadn’t been what you were doing. Had it? You were woozy and scared and just trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. That was most important, so you let his comment go and repeated your question. “Who are you?”

He squeezed your hand. “I’m your husband, sweetheart. My name is Andy.”

That was the answer you’d been terrified of since you’d seen the rings on your finger. He was fucking crazy. He had to be. The best you could do right now was to get as much information out of him as you could. “And where are we? Is this your house?” You were trying to keep your voice steady, but you could hear the tremor in it.

“This is our house, sweetheart. Just outside Boston.”

Your eyes widened and your heart rate picked up in panic. “Boston?? No– That’s– How did I get here?!” This was even worse than you thought. You were nowhere near home, nowhere near anything familiar.

He just looked at you for a moment with narrowed eyes. Then he nodded and said, “Ok, I’m going to be honest and explain it to you, because I think it will help you understand your place here. But in the future, you need to know that I don’t appreciate having to explain myself. Good wives don’t question their husband's actions. Now, since I’m going out of my way to make this clear for you, I expect you to sit quietly and listen. Can you do that for me?”

You clenched your hands into fists, wanting to rage at him for how he was speaking to you like a child, but you knew you needed this information. You needed everything you could get if you were going to get out of here, so you tried to control your breathing and nodded.

He looked at you like he wanted to scold you for something, but then visibly changed his mind and began. “I’ve had a hard life, the last few years especially, I’ve been through a lot. Things haven’t turned out the way they were supposed to. I wanted a family. I thought I had one, but– It wasn’t how it was supposed to be, and then I lost even that. I wanted to try again, but I couldn’t put in all that effort without a guarantee that I wouldn’t wind up with nothing again.

“I’m a lawyer. I used to work as an ADA and now I’m in defense. In both jobs, I’ve made a lot of connections with people from different walks of life. Through that, I found a man who provides a service – if you let him know what you’re looking for, he’ll find you a person who fills those needs. So I told him that I was looking for someone to build a family with, a good wife. He presented me with a few options, and I chose you. For a hefty price, his men picked you up and brought you here. They also put together all new paperwork for you, a whole new identity. The old you doesn’t exist anymore, do you understand? You’re Mrs. Barber now, property of your husband. I bought and paid for you. I own you, every part of you.”

You saw his hand start to move toward your thigh and you jumped up, quickly pressing yourself against the wall. You just stared at him for a moment and then the panic truly hit you, but this time, it was accompanied by blinding anger. “That’s human trafficking, you complete fucking psycho! The fuck is wrong with you?!” Once you’d started screaming, you couldn’t stop. “You can’t just buy a wife, you fucking cuck! I’m a person! People are going to look for me!” He stood up and came at you and you swung out with your fists, your nails, your knees, whatever you fucking could. You connected a few times, drew a grunt from him before he somehow pinned your wrists behind your back. You screamed as loud as you could, but it did nothing. 

He frog-marched you out of the room as he said, “I was hoping we wouldn’t have to do this so soon, but you need a timeout, honey. Some time to calm down in the quiet room, and then we can try again and go over the rules. You just need some time to think by yourself.”

You tried to pay attention as he pushed you through what looked like a little apartment: a living room, a kitchenette. He stopped at an innocuous-looking door with a keypad on it, just like the one in the bedroom. He turned you away so you couldn’t see as he entered the code, one hand still keeping your wrists in a bruising grip. Before you’d even realized he’d opened the door, he was shoving you into the room so hard you briefly left the ground. The door slammed shut behind you. You hit the floor hard and groaned. You stumbled up onto your hands and knees. You heard another beep, then the grinding of a lock. Then nothing.

The room was pitch black. You weren’t even sure where the door was now, as there wasn’t any light coming through the cracks. You crawled around, trying to get an idea of the space. It was small and empty as far as you could tell. But there was a low rumbling noise that seemed to fill the room. You couldn’t pinpoint the source just from listening, it felt like it was coming from everywhere. The floor under your hands was bare, concrete. Your hands brushed through cobwebs and other detritus you couldn’t see. You cautiously held a hand out as you continued to try to map out the room, terrified you’d smack your face right into the wall. It made contact with something hot and sharp. You pulled it back with a hiss, pain radiating through your palm. You felt the first few wet drops. Shit. You were bleeding. You’d cut yourself. Fuck. “Hey!” you called out as loud as you could. There was no answer. “Hey!” you tried again, “I’m hurt! I’m bleeding!” No response. “WHAT THE FUCK?” You were screaming now. “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! LET ME OUT!” Nothing. God, this room was already lightproof, maybe it was soundproof, too. He wouldn’t be able to hear you, wouldn’t know you were hurt. You couldn’t tell how badly you’d cut your hand so you raised it above your head, hoping that might at least slow down the bleeding. It was dirty you were sure. God, how long did it take for cuts to get infected? You hoped you wouldn’t find out. You didn’t even know what you’d cut it on. What if it was rusty? Shit, when was your last tetanus booster? You couldn’t remember exactly. Fuck. You really didn’t want to die from tetanus in some random basement in Massachusetts. A tear rolled down your cheek. He couldn’t leave you in here too long, could he? No. He would come get you soon.

You had no idea how long you’d been sitting in the dark, your knees pulled up to your chest, one arm wrapped around them, the other still held in the air. Your shoulder was so sore, but you were too worried to lower your hand. You wished you could see the cut, know exactly how bad it was. You wished you knew how much time had passed. With no frame of reference, no external indicators, you were afraid you’d lost the ability to tell the difference between hours and minutes. It’d been hours. It had to have been hours. How long was he going to leave you here? He had to come back soon. He had to. You took some perverse comfort in the fact that he’d spent a lot of money on you. That had to mean that he wouldn’t just leave you here. He’d want a return on his investment. You tried to ignore the chills that thought gave you.

You’d been crying on and off. It made you feel pathetic but what else were you supposed to do? The panic, too, ebbed and flowed. You’d been trying to keep your breathing even, trying to ignore how small the space was, how dirty, how dark. Deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. It wasn’t doing much to calm you, but at least it gave you something to focus on. 

Just as a fresh wave of tears overtook you, a blinding light came in, directly opposite you. You squinted and raised your uninjured hand in front of your eyes, but that didn’t do much to help.

“Oh sweetheart,” Andy’s voice cooed, before gently lifting you by your arms and herding you out. He half-carried you through the finished part of the basement while your eyes continued to adjust. Before you knew it, you were back in the bedroom you’d started in. He gently sat you down on the edge of the bed and crouched in front of you. You felt dazed. The room was too bright. You didn’t know how you could keep breaking the record for the most scared you’d ever been. There had to be a ceiling, a limit. You’d hit it soon, wouldn’t you? 

You still had your hand raised and cradled to your chest. Andy touched your wrist and you flinched. He raised an eyebrow in question and you whispered, “I got hurt.” He sighed and gently tugged at your wrist again. This time you let him guide your arm down, moving your hand so you both could see it. It was a little grimy and definitely red, slightly swollen maybe. There was a little dried blood, but not much. The cut was so much more shallow than you’d imagined when you were trapped in that room alone. You felt incredibly foolish. You’d thought you were going to lose your hand over a glorified paper cut. 

Andy carefully moved his thumb over a raised patch under the cut that you now realized was a minor burn. “Did you touch the furnace?” The furnace – that’s what’d been making that noise. That’s what you’d cut yourself on. That’s where he’d thrown you. What the fuck? You were lucky you hadn’t hurt yourself even worse. You looked up from your hand to see him frowning at you. “Why would you do that? Sweetheart, you have to be more careful. That was a very stupid thing to do.” He got up and walked into the ensuite, opening a cabinet under the sink.

Was he seriously scolding you for getting hurt in a dangerous room he’d locked you in?? The rage from earlier was starting to return, but it was still tempered by your fear. You did your best to keep your voice even when you replied, “It was completely dark in there. I couldn’t see anything.” A little growl came through your words, but it wasn’t anything compared to what you were actually feeling.

He came back holding a small first-aid kit. “Well then that’s a good reason to keep your hands to yourself, isn’t it?” He sat down and opened the kit, pulling out a few wipes and beginning to somewhat roughly clean your hand. “Sweetheart, I’m here to take care of you. That’s my job as your husband. But I need you to be a good girl and not put yourself in harm’s way.”

“You threw me in there!” you said, your voice starting to get louder, despite your best efforts to keep calm.

“Because you were bad and needed a time-out!” he yelled back at you. He threw the dirty wipes into the trashcan beside the bed and took a deep breath, visibly calming himself. He grabbed an ointment from the kit and began applying it to your hand. “That’s why we’re going to talk about rules now. They’re there to keep you safe and both of us happy. When you don’t follow them, something like this can happen.”

You didn’t say anything. You had to be smart if you were ever going to get out of here and antagonizing him wasn’t smart. He didn’t seem to expect a response anyway as he just silently placed a bandage on your hand and then got up and put the kit away. He came back and sat right next to you, turning so he could look into your eyes. You tried to turn your head away, but he grabbed your chin and forced eye contact. 

“Alright,” he said, his tone already so fucking patronizing. “A good thing that came out of your little tantrum is that now we know the areas we need to focus on most for improvement – manners, respect, and attitude. I did some thinking during your quiet time too, and I’ve adjusted your training schedule to focus on these things. It’ll be good for both of us.”

What the actual fucking fuck? “Training schedule?” was all you managed to get out.

Andy nodded. “I’m sure you’ve figured out that we’re in the basement right now. I have a beautiful big house upstairs that I can’t wait to show you. But you’re going to have to earn it first, prove to me that you know how to be good, that I can trust you before we can go upstairs. That’s what the training will do. I’m going to teach you exactly how to be perfect for me, everything I want, and in return I’m going to give you a perfect life, so much better than what you had before. We’re going to be so happy together, sweetheart. I promise.

“Now, it’s going to take time. I understand that. And I’m going to be patient with you. I know what your life was like before. I know that you probably never expected that you’d ever get to have this. Change can be scary. Dreams coming true, it’s scary. But I’ll be here to guide you through it all. I’m going to give you everything and all I ask of you in return is that you be good for me. That’s all.”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to sob. What the hell was this? How could this man, this stranger, be so completely deranged? Be smart, you chanted to yourself. Be smart be smart be smart. And if you opened your mouth now, you knew exactly what would come out. So you kept it shut and let him continue.  

“So first, let’s talk about your tantrum. I don’t appreciate being spoken to that way. The language and the names, it’s unacceptable. So, no swearing going forward. And I think a good rule for you while we’re downstairs will be for you to address me as Sir. Once we’ve moved upstairs, you’ll be allowed to call me Andy, but whenever we’re down here, it’s Sir. Do you understand?” He looked at you expectantly. You clenched your jaw and nodded. “I expect a verbal response when I speak to you, sweetheart.”

“Yes,” you gritted out. He raised an eyebrow at you and his gaze hardened. It took you a moment to realize your mistake. “Yes, sir,” you corrected yourself.

“Very good. As your husband, I expect you to give me the respect I deserve. That’s something we’ll work on. It’s very important that you don’t question me. I know what’s best for you and you need to trust that I will give you whatever information you need to have. If I haven’t told you something, it’s because you don’t need to know, ok?”

He paused again. What kind of Stepford hell was this? What had you done to deserve this? You took a deep breath. Then another. And another. Then, finally, you were able to force out a “Yes, sir.”

He smiled. “You’re so smart, sweetheart. You’ll be upstairs in no time. Now, you’ll start learning your routine tomorrow. I’ve taken some time off work for our honeymoon, so I’ll have plenty of time to get you settled and acclimated. We’ll go over wardrobe and makeup requirements in the morning too. Now,” he slapped his thighs and stood up, “your soup from earlier went cold, so how about I go get you a fresh bowl while you take a quick shower and get all that dust and grime from the Quiet Room off you?”

You held back a grimace at him calling that room that, as he walked over to one of the other doors and unlocked it. He talked to you like you were a child. All of this was so fucked up. But a shower sounded incredible. You had no idea how long it’d been since you’d had one. So you just nodded and let out a quiet, “Yes, sir.”

He beamed at you. “Everything you’ll need is in the bathroom. I’ll be back in just a few minutes.”

You stood and waited til he was out the door, listening to the beeps and grinding locks once he was gone. Shit. You were really fucked. You went into the bathroom and closed the door behind you. There was no lock on the inside. Of course, there wasn’t. 

You didn’t waste much time in the bathroom, desperate for a hot shower. You vaguely registered that the counter was stocked with all sorts of beauty aids – expensive lotions and serums like he’d bought out a department store beauty counter. The shower too, was equally well stocked. So much fancier than the Target sale items you usually stocked your bathroom with. But the shower felt incredible and that’s what you chose to focus on. 

When you were finished, you came out of the shower to see that the bathroom door was open. You could hear Andy moving around in the bedroom. You shuddered and quickly wrapped a plush towel around yourself. There was a fresh nightgown waiting for you, soft pink, all silk and lace. You grimaced and wondered what you’d need to do to get a pair of sleep shorts and an old T-shirt to sleep in. Probably more than you were willing to do, if it was even possible. You dried off quickly and slipped the nightgown on. 

When you exited the bathroom, he was sitting on the bed, the tray of food sitting next to him. There was a bowl of soup and a cup of water, along with a small plate with a few crackers. The dishes and utensils were all plastic. Nothing you could hurt him with. You sat down and watched him carefully as you lifted the tray onto your lap. He didn’t say anything so it must have been allowed. Your hand shook as you brought the first spoonful up to your lips. The soup was warm, not hot, certainly not scalding. Another hope dashed. Throwing it at him would only result in him getting wet. And angry. Not worth it. 

As you ate, you realized just how hungry you actually were. The nausea from whatever drugs you’d had had covered it up, but you were starving. You barely even tasted the soup, you just needed to eat. God, how long had it been since you’d had food? You wouldn’t bother asking Andy. You knew he wouldn’t give you an answer.

After he watched you eat for a few minutes, he said, “What do you say, sweetheart?”

God, he used that word like it was your name. It made you want to scream. You swallowed down all your anger and a spoonful of soup before you said, “Thank you, sir.” 

He gave you a satisfied smile. “See,” he said, “I knew you had good manners.”

You shoved the spoon into your mouth to prevent any sort of comeback. This fucking asshole. Luckily he let you eat the rest of your meal in peace. But he never took his eyes off you.

Once you were done, Andy put the tray on the dresser and then declared it bedtime. You watched him cautiously, as he went to the dresser and took out a pair of boxers and a cotton tee. He changed right in the middle of the room and you turned your head away. You caught flashes of skin, that if he’d been anyone else, in any other circumstances, would have had you drooling. It was becoming hard to breathe again. What else would he demand from you tonight?

You chanced a glance back up at him to find him changed and staring at you. You swallowed nervously. “Come here,” he said firmly, holding his hand out to you. You slowly, so slowly, made your way to him. As soon as you were in reach, he grabbed your elbow and pulled you the rest of the way in so that you were nestled into his chest. “I know,” he said, stroking one hand down your back, “that we’re both thinking about our first time together, but I’d like to wait.” He ran the fingers of his other hand down the strap of your nightgown, slipping onto your bare skin. “Give you a chance to get fully adjusted. Give us both a chance to get to know each other.” His voice slipped down an octave as his fingers traveled across your chest. Your body bowed to get away from him, but he didn’t seem to notice or care. “Give us a chance to enjoy each other.” His breath hitched as his hand traveled down to your breast, the other hand on your back had stilled, holding you close, stopping you from getting away. He moved his head as close as he could to yours and whispered, “I want it to be special.” Then, before you could try to back away, he was kissing you. It was firm and demanding, giving you no option but to let it happen. He angled his growing erection into your thigh, and with the way he was holding you, you couldn’t lean away from it. His tongue forced its way into your mouth and you couldn’t help the way you whimpered. It felt like it might go on forever, when he finally pulled back, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m so happy you’re mine,” he whispered. 

And then he was out of your space, leaving you trying to breathe again, alone in the middle of the room, as he climbed into the bed. You just stood there, unsure of what to do, your lips still tingling. Once he was settled on the side of the bed closest to the door, he called your name. “Come to bed now,” he said, and there was no mistaking it for anything other than an order. You ducked your head and climbed onto the bed, terrified of what might come next, but also desperate for sleep. This day had left you exhausted and confused and scared and so angry. It was all too much.

You tried to lie down as close to the edge as you could, but he pulled you in close so that your back was flush to his front, his arm thrown over your waist. “I'm so proud of you,” he whispered into your hair, “getting through your first day without having to go to the punishment room.”

Your mouth went completely dry. A room you hadn’t been to. Somewhere worse than the quiet room. “What's–” your tongue struggled to form the words. You took a breath and tried again. “What's the punishment room?” You caught yourself at the last minute and added a quiet “Sir.”

His hand caressed your side. “You keep being my good girl and you won't have to find out.”

Tag list is open

@stargazingfangirl18 @yenzys-lucky-charm @thezombieprostitute @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @bval-1 @km-ffluv @texmexdarling @ladyvenera @foulpersonahandsvoid

[bookishwenchmeltha]

Sifki2024 Playlist

@sifkiweek Okay, so, I have never posted a playlist to Tumblr before, and I'm hoping this works right. If not, my apologies in advance.

This jumps all over in terms of time (they've been alive a thousand years plus, so there are a lot of valid options!), genre (Cole Porter to NIN to Dolly Parton to Springsteen), and connection (unhealthy relationship, childhood sweethearts, pining, madness, and a little nod to Sif as goddess of the harvest via Sting). I hope you enjoy it. :)

“Gone” – U2 You're taking steps that make you feel dizzy Then you get to like the way it feels. You hurt yourself you hurt your lover Then you discover What you thought was freedom is just greed.

“The Old Ways” – Loreena McKennitt As we cast our gaze on the tumbling sea A vision came o'er me Of thundering hooves and beating wings In clouds above Turning to go as you call out my name Like a bird in a cage spreading its wings to fly "The old ways are lost, " you sang as you flew And I wondered why.

“A Matter of Trust” – Billy Joel Some love is just a lie of the heart The cold remains of what began with a passionate start And they may not want it to end But it will it's just a question of when I've lived long enough to have learned The closer you get to the fire, the more you get burned But that won't happen to us 'Cause it's always been a matter of trust

“Here You Come Again” – Dolly Parton Here you come again Just when I'm about to make it work without you You look into my eyes and light those dreamy eyes And pretty soon I'm wondering how I came to doubt you All you gotta do is smile that smile And there go all my defenses Just leave it up to you and in a little while You're messing up my mind and filling up my senses

“You’re So Vain” – Carly Simon You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive Well you said that we made such a pretty pair and that you would never leave But you gave away the things you loved And one of them was me

“You’re No Good” – Linda Ronstadt Feelin' better now that we're through Feelin' better, 'cause I'm over you I learned my lesson, it left a scar Now I see how you really are

“He’s a Pirate” – Klaus Badelt (Pirates of the Caribbean)

“Cold” – Annie Lennox Time it may take us but God only knows How I've paid for those things in the past Dying is easy it's living that scares me to death, ooh, yeah I could be so content hearing the sound of your breath, ooh, yeah

“Charade” – Henry Mancini When we played our charade We were like children posing Playing at games, acting out names Guessing the parts we played

“Truly Madly Deeply” – Savage Garden I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need I'll love you more with every breath, truly, madly, deeply do

“Torn” – Natalie Imbruglia Well, you couldn’t be that man I adored. You don’t seem to know Seem to care what your heart is for But I don’t know him anymore. There’s nothing where he used to lie. My conversation has run dry. That’s what’s going on. Nothing’s fine, I’m torn, I’m all out of faith.

“Secret Garden” – Bruce Springsteen She’ll let you in her heart If you got a hammer and a vise, But into her secret garden, don’t think twice. You’ve gone a million miles, How far’d you get To that place that you can’t remember And you can’t forget?

“Something to Save” – George Michael We're moving further from heaven And closer to the deep blue sea 'Cause I have no secrets from you And I have nothing left to hide And I'm open to all your questions Why can't you reach inside like I have Like I have for you And all these games that you play Don't tell me how a man should be

“Come Undone” – Duran Duran Words, playing me deja vu Like a radio tune, I swear I've heard before Chill, is it something real? Or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers Lost, in a snow filled sky We'll make it alright to come undone

“Fields of Gold” – Sting See the west wind move like a lover’s soul Upon the fields of barley Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth Among the fields of gold I never made promises lightly And there have been some that I've broken But I swear in the days still left We'll walk in fields of gold

“Found Out about You” – Gin Blossoms Is there a line that I could write That's sad enough to make you cry? And all the lines you wrote to me were lies Months roll past the love that you struck dead Did you love me only in my head?

“Possession” – Sarah McLachlan Through this world I stumble, So many times betrayed, Trying to find an honest word, To find the truth enslaved. You speak to me in riddles And you speak to me in rhymes. My body aches to breathe your breath, Your words keep me alive.

“Everything You Want” – Vertical Horizon You howl and listen, Listen and wait for the Echoes of angels who won't return. He's everything you want, He's everything you need, He's everything inside of you That you wish you could be. He says all the right things At exactly the right time, But he means nothing to you And you don't know why.

“Days of Wine and Roses” – Cassandra Wilson The days of wine and roses Laugh and run away Like a child at play Through a meadowland toward a closing door A door marked “nevermore” That wasn’t there before. The lonely night discloses Just a passing breeze Filled with memories Of the golden smile that introduced me to The days of wind and roses and you

“Night and Day” – Billie Holiday Night day you are the one Only you ‘neath the moon and under the sun. Whether near to me or far, It’s no matter, darling, where you are I think of you night and day.

“Demon Seed” – Nine Inch Nails It keeps growing And I can feel it breathe I have been trying To behave myself

“Two Princes” – Spin Doctors Marry him or marry me. I'm the one that loves you baby can't you see? I ain't got no future or a family tree, But I know what a prince and lover ought to be, I know what a prince and lover ought to be.

“The Sweetest Taboo” - Sade If I tell you, if I tell you now Will you keep on, will you keep on loving me? If I tell you, if I tell you how I feel Will you keep on bringing out the best in? You give me, you give me the sweetest taboo.

[ltwharfy]

"Bob's Burgers" Season 9 Episode Ranking Rewatch (Long Post)

So, I've been rewatching "Bob's Burgers" from the beginning and ranking the episodes using the spreadsheet that @babsvibes created! If you want to know why I'm doing this or how I view the 1-5 rating scale, you can check out my Season 1 post! If you want to check out any of the other seasons, I've been using the "bob's burgers episode ranking rewatch" tag for all of them.

Now, on to Season 9:

Average (Mean) Score: 4.55

Mode (Most Common) Ranking: 5

Ranking Breakdown: 12 5s 10 4s

Season as a whole thoughts:

"Bob's Burgers" is turning nine and it's feeling *uses inhaler* fine!

Seriously, this is just another really excellent season in my opinion. It joins Season 4 and 8 as one of the seasons to not getting any episodes rated lower than a 4, and it's average score is good enough for 4th place of the currently ranked seasons below 7, 4, and 5. In some ways, it reminds me a lot of Season 7- a great mix of humor and heart along with introducing some new characters and other innovations- it's definitely representative of the series at its best, in my opinion.

Some thoughts on specific episodes (and feel free to ask if you want my thoughts on an episode I didn't comment on):

"Just One of the Boyz 4 Now for Now": It's a tough call, but this might be my favorite season premiere and my favorite "musical episode" (ie: one with more than the typical 1-2 songs). All the songs are absolute classics and great parodies of romantic comedy tropes! it's really a brilliant episode. It's hard to name a favorite song, but I think I might have to go with "Friend Zone" just because "Now let's kiss over this cake/'Cause it's your birthday, I guess" always cracks me up. The baby rat subplot is also really fun, and a great use of Hugo. And this episode gives us another (brief) appearance of Louise's Boo Boo crush, which is one of my favorite running gags! A great way to start the season.

"The Taking of Funtime One Two Three": While we're on the subject of great songs (or we were recently) "let an egg roll, from your egg hole" and "if wooly mammoths had had wheels maybe they'd still be around" are among the "Bob's Burgers" song lyrics that are always living in my head. Sadly, I rarely have an occasion to say either of them in conversation. I do like to say "To what end, people?!" occasionally, so thanks for that, Trip. Anyway, this is another classic "The Belcher Kids and their friends have an adventure episode" with a healthy does of Mr. Fischoeder and some fun moments with Yuli the security guard, one of my favorite minor recurring characters.

"Tweentrepreneurs": I love this episode because it helped inspire one of my favorite future career headcanons for Louise (and an outlined multichapter fic I'll probably never write). While taking over the restaurant or being a film director seem like the most obvious future career for Louise, this episode has the biggest of about three canon moments that inspired my "Louise Belcher, future labor union organizer" headcanon. I worked in the labor movement for several years and I just think would Louise would love it- taking on the rich and powerful, helping other people stand up for themselves, causing good trouble- it's a really good fit for her. And here she is, leading a walkout at age 9! (And, given my fondness for her relationship with Rudy, I have to mention that it's her concern for his health that is the final straw leading to the walkout.)

"Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street": Probably my favorite Halloween episode; definitely has my two favorite Halloween costumes! Rudy and Bob are probably the two characters I relate to the most, and it cracks me up that their costumes in this episode are totally things I would do: "what? It might look like I'm wearing normal clothes, but actually I'm totally Paul Rudd or Bruce Springsteen, can't you tell?!" Also, I don't think I've mentioned before how much I love the guy who's about to throw the candy into the incinerator. He's really one of my favorite one-off characters. Dude just got out of six month coma, doesn't know what day it is, still goes to work...and apparently will just throw anything into the incinerator that anybody tells him to (unless he gets a more compelling reason not to)? I think he might rank second after the "Boyz 4 Now" security guard as my favorite nameless one-off character.

"I Bob Your Pardon": Maybe my third or fourth favorite Thanksgiving episode! I've always had an interested in politics and journalism (I wanted to be a journalist when I was a kid) so this hilarious small town Thanksgiving turkey pardoning scandal really hits a lot of the right notes for me. If I had become a journalist, I definitely would've stolen "Well, somebody better call Huey Lewis because I may have found myself some news" as my catchphrase. And the end credits song is a total banger! "Don't you taint my mayor!"

"Better Off Sled": An excellent Christmas episode! Generally speaking, Louise and Logan's dynamic isn't really my jam, but I enjoy them here. The one-upsmanship of the snowball arms race is a lot of fun, and the "stupid Christmas" ending is sweet but not too sweet and feels totally in character for Louise. Also, I can't help but love this exchange: "Then why does it look like your butt could take a sheet of fresh-baked cookies out of the oven?" "Genetics?" (Kristen Schaal's delivery of "genetics?" is one of at least three times on the series when she absolutely kills me with her delivery of a single word). All that being said, I think Teddy is the real comedic MVP of this episode- pretty much everything he says cracks me up! And I love that Rudy is basically the one who saves the day for the Belcher kids! And Knitcracker, I can't believe I didn't mention Knitcracker yet! (That said, it's still not my favorite Christmas episode since it doesn't involve any references to murder mannequins.)

"The Helen Hunt": I feel like this might be one of my least popular shipping opinions but...I like Teddy/Kathleen! Not in the sense that I want to create fic or art for them, but I just think they are kind of sweet together. Like with Roger and Judy from "Aquaticism" they have that "awkward middle-aged people finding each other" vibe that this awkward middle-aged single person finds appealing. And I think her pretty easygoing, laidback nature is a nice contrast to how stressed out/excitable Teddy can be. And I always enjoy people who watch odd sports! Okay, Teddy/Kathleen aside, I also just enjoyed that they did a followup to "Housetrap", and the father and hot son plumbing duo subplot is so cute! "You, you make plumbing fun..."

"Bed, Bob, and Beyond": One of the things I've noticed in this rewatch, is that I really enjoy the three-story episodes (aka vignette episodes aka triptychs aka who knows what else some folks have called them.) I think what I really enjoy is that the reason for them is always different, and therefore it always says something different about the characters and their situations. it's not just the Simpsons having a trio of non-canon Halloween adventures ever year. I think showing Linda and Bob having a stupid fight, and the kids view of it and their efforts to get them to reconcile, was a really clever use of one of these stories. Also, if I am ever asked to do an English accent, I will likely say "I'm watching footie on the telly in the pubby where the beer is". (Which is probably offensive, so please don't ask me to do that!)

"Every Which Way But Goose": Another thing the rewatch has made me appreciate more: Jimmy Jr. and his relationship with Tina. I never hated J-Ju, but I will say that I probably took him and the Tinimmy relationship for granted- it's been there since almost the beginning but I never really thought much about it. But the rewatch has helped me realize how funny of a character J-Ju is (it's just a really funny voice by H. Jon Benjamin) and how the Tinimmy relationship has given us some really funny episodes- most notably this one and "Ex Mach Tina", which are both all-time classics in my book (and, of course, they play a big role in "Bob Actually" as well, but I like that one for other reasons as well.) To me, it's clear from this episode and others that J-Ju does care about Tina...he's just very much a 13 year old boy. So, he's occasionally thoughtful but more often dumb or oblivious. Also, the end credits song to this one is another classic. I wish I could go to a concert of "Bob's Burgers" music just so I could scream out "secret kiss with Bruce the Goose" with thousands of other excited concert goers, because that is what that lyric deserves, dammit!

"The Gene Mile": So, I recently posted about how much I enjoyed some of the Rudy moments in this one. This is another great "Belcher kids and their friends" adventure; and I really wish that Courtney and Alex had more appearances in stories like this- where they and their relationship with Gene isn't really the center of the story- they are just part of the gang! It's always fun to watch different combinations of the kids have fun together. Also, nice for Large Tommy to get his largest role- going back to Season 1 of the rewatch it's funny to think that he was introduced much earlier than some of Louise's more iconic classmates (Rudy, Chloe, Millie, Jessica, Harley, etc.).

"P.T.A. It Ain't So": I feel like this might be the first example in the rewatch of an episode that really grew on me. A lot of the episodes I've given 5s to were ones I remember loving as soon as I saw them. Or they were "sleeper hits" that I had basically forgotten about before rewatching. This episode I remember when I first saw it, and I remember thinking it was fine but nothing great. But on rewatches I just find myself enjoying it more and more. I really love the Kim and Sons hardware store bird subplot- especially the ridiculous flyer the kids make. Also, it's fun watching the kids play with their pipe in the background (such a great kids being kids moment)! But the PTA stuff is great too- I love the fact that Tammy's Dad is Linda's PTA bestie for some reason! And Linda's idea of Colleen being in the shark suit for the dramatic revelation! And the Bleach Boys! Also, as someone who headed a neighborhood political group for a while, Joanne's line "Do you have any idea how many emails I send a week? No, you don't because no one reads them" resonates with me.

Random thoughts (stuff that doesn't affect the ratings):

-More great new characters continue to arrive on the scene! Hi Susmita! Hi Arnold!

-I would totally watch Randy's movie "A Life, Well, Steved". "And I thought to myself, 'I can't take another hurdle. I think I am that baby turtle.'" That's some beautiful, profound stuff there.

See you in the Season 10 post! It could be pretty soon since I've already watched rated it all- just need time to write!

[abracazabka]

hi dre :))) i was wondering if you had any bruce springsteen recs? i listened to some of his older stuff (born in the usa and born to run albums) for most of my childhood bc my mom liked him so i was thinking of listening to his other stuff but he has A Lot of songs so idk where to start lmao

also, off topic, but listened to a new song recently and thought it was maybe something you'd enjoy? it's Young In America by Barns Courtney :)

to answer in reverse order:

I probably would very much like that song & will check it out, because I like a couple Barns Courtney songs, namely the song called "99," which is good if you haven't heard it! ty for the rec!! :))

Now, onto Brucie:

My favorite albums of Bruce's are (though I of course love the albums you mentioned) Darkness On the Edge of Town & The River.

Though, Bruce's earliest stuff is good too, if you want to go chronologically! He's got two albums from around '73 (Greetings from Asbury Park, N.J. & The Wild, The Innocent, & the E Street Shuffle) that are great & are full of instrumental emphasis, which I personally love.

I personally prefer Bruce's "prime," I guess you could say, which was the late 70s into the 80s.

His newer (late 90s & on, I guess) stuff sometimes gets more country, which I like (The Ghost of Tom Joad & Devils & Dust has some good stuff)! But some people prefer the more rock sound, or jazzy ballad sound - I prefer such sounds, so it's fine to not have a favorite in the recent stuff, haha, I'm all for older sound.

With Bruce, you gotta get into the vibe of an album, he has a lot of different aesthetics, so to highlight some of those...

Individual songs that are my favorites & not on the albums you mentioned:

"Adam Raised a Cain" (Darkness On the Edge of Town)

"Hungry Heart" (The River)

"Fire" (The Promise)

"High Hopes" (High Hopes)

"Tougher Than the Rest" (Tunnel of Love)

"Waitin' on a Sunny Day" (The Rising)

"Better Days" (Lucky Town)

"Human Touch" (Human Touch)

"My City of Ruins" (The Rising)

"Working On a Dream" (Working On a Dream)

"State Trooper" (Nebraska)

"Turn Back the Hands of Time" (Turn Back the Hands of Time)

"The Ties That Bind" (The River)

"Girls In Their Summer Clothes" (Magic)

"Open All Night" (Nebraska)

"Badlands" (Darkness On the Edge of Town)

"The Price You Pay" (The River)

"Candy's Room" (Darkness On the Edge of Town)

"Atlantic City" (Nebraska)

"Devils & Dust" (Devils & Dust)

"Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)" (The Wild, The Innocent, & the E Street Shuffle)

"Racing in the Street" (Darkness On the Edge of Town)

"Blinded By The Light" (Greetings from Asbury Park, N.J.)

"Cadillac Ranch" (The River)

"The Promise Land" (Darkness On the Edge of Town)

"Ghosts" (Letter to You)

"The River" (The River)

there's a TON of great singles too, & songs I did not mention (I can't go on naming favorite songs forever, since I'll name almost his whole discography, LOL)

so take this! my BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN FAVORITES playlist, which features all these songs & more:

This is a long post, but I'm not normal about him, sorry! Ty for giving me an excuse to ramble about him!!

Hope this helps!!! ❣️💜

[nazmazh]

Playlist: The Drive Home

(This, of course, is not universal, and represents my personal tastes)

That hazy, dreamlike feeling of drifting along back home after some sort of gathering - A party? A good dinner out? A carnival or fair? Whatever it was, it was pretty great, but you're all feeling a little run down, now. Maybe there's a light rain or snow in the air, reflecting the streetlights to wash over you and the car completely. Or maybe you're out on the highway, under an open sky of stars. There's perhaps a little touch of melancholy, but in a fond sort of way. Nobody's jumping up and rocking out, but everyone's singing along to those classics they recognize - You're all keeping each other mutually-awake, if nothing else. You're going to cross through this liminal space all together, and stretch it out , so that you can hold on to that wonderful feeling from before, for as long as you can.

Fleetwood Mac - Dreams [Honourable Mention to Rhiannon]

Elton John - Tiny Dancer

The Beatles - Hey Jude

Don McLean - American Pie

Tom Cochran & Red Rider - Good Times

Jimi Hendrix - Angel

Jeff Healey - Angel [Yeah I honestly couldn't decide. And I know that the Hendrix original is the one most people know, I'm putting Healey hear because more people should know him and his work]

David Bowie - Starman [Yes, I'm going with this over Space Oddity, though that one probably would fit as well. I'd put Ashes to Ashes ahead of it too though]

Paul McCartney & Wings - Band on the Run

BareNaked Ladies - Brian Wilson

Foo Fighters - Baker Street [The original by Gerry Rafferty would also work, depending on your personal preferences]

Soul Asylum - Runaway Train

Blind Melon - No Rain

Blue Oyster Cult - Burnin' For You

Jay & The Americans - Come a Little Bit Closer

Tommy James and The Shondells - Crimson and Clover [Perhaps Joan Jett & The Blackhearts' version instead, if you'd prefer]

Ninja Sex Party - Everybody Wants to Rule The World [Yes, specifically their cover. The Tears for Fears original is fine too, but I really like their version, okay? The song itself is still familiar enough that I don't think it throws off the vibe I'm going for here]

Queen - Somebody to Love

Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

REM - Man on The Moon [Honourable Mention to Losing My Religion]

Boston - More Than a Feeling

The Cars - Just What I Needed

The Guess Who - No Sugar Tonight // New Mother Nature

Bruce Springsteen - Thunder Road

Andy Kim - Rock Me Gently

Blue Rodeo - Lost Together

Glen Campbell - Southern Nights

Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline

Darius Rucker - Wagon Wheel [Old Crow Medicine Show's original is very good too.]

Thin Lizzy - Whiskey in The Jar

David Lee Murphy - Dust on The Bottle

Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen

The Buggles - Video Killed the Radio Star

Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There

Creedence Clearwater Revival - Have You Ever Seen The Rain?

Semisonic - Closing Time

Night Ranger - Sister Christian

The Outfield - Your Love

Allman Brothers Band - Jessica

Styx - Mr. Roboto

Avicii - Hey Brother

Fastball - The Way

The Wallflowers - One Headlight

Counting Crows - Mr. Jones

Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man

John Denver - Take Me Home, Country Roads [Memey-ness or not, it's an all-time great sing-a-long]

The Moody Blues - Your Wildest Dreams

Mika - Grace Kelly

The Cure - Friday I'm in Love

Spin Doctors - Two Princes

The Weeknd - Save Your Tears

Cage The Elephant - Ain't No Rest for The Wicked

The Heavy - Short Change Hero [Yes, I have deep nostalgia for the first two Borderlands games, or at least the vibe of them. Why do you ask?]

Goo Goo Dolls - Black Balloon [Maybe Iris instead. As upbeat as Slide is, I think the subject matter of the song is perhaps a bit too heavy for the concept I'm going for here]

Don Henley - The Boys of Summer

Looking Glass - Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)

Traveling Wilburys - Handle With Care

Garth Brooks - Hard Luck Woman [Cover of a Kiss song. Maybe a bit obscure, per my guidelines. But y'know what,?I've let other covers I've liked than originals better go in here instead of the originals. So screw it. It makes the cut!]

Manfred Mann's Earth Band - Blinded By The Light (Technically a Bruce Springsteen cover, but this is so very much the definitive version)

Billy Joel - Piano Man (Although, Only the Good Die Young, For the Longest Time, and River of Dreams are strong contenders)

Toto - Africa

Baltimora - Tarzan Boy

Van Halen - Dreams [Just edges out Right Now]

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - Into The Great Wide Open

Steve Miller Band - Rock'n Me

.38 Special - Back Where You Belong

ABBA - Dancing Queen

Blondie - The Tide Is High

Eagle-Eye Cherry - Save Tonight

Lady A - Need You Now

The Rolling Stones - Wild Horses

Rush - Limelight

Aliotta Haynes Jeremiah - Lake Shore Drive

Cyndi Lauper - I Drove All Night [Contrast with Roy Orbison's version]

Mr Big - To Be With You

Matchbox Twenty - 3AM

Personality test

Best song to hear on the radio in a car full of friends when it's dark and warm and raining outside and you're all kinda tired but still having a good time

The song that would play in the movie about your life at the part where you finally snap and enter a violent, freewheeling action scene

The worst song you can imagine playing in the background of a deeply personal or intimate moment

A song you'd want played at your funeral

A song you WOULD NOT WANT played at your funeral

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 157

The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo/The Doctor’s Wife

“The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo”

Plot Description: an unsuspecting but hip hacker is hired by Dick Roman to break through Frank’s firewall and gain information in the Winchesters

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died

Oh. The Leviathans are doing a “fun” little eugenics project before before just turning humans into breakfast, lunch, and dinner

Well, I guess Frank IS dead. Sorry Frank.

Awww I love Charlie 💖 she and I have similar looking work desk

Dick’s EXTREMELY THINLY veiled metaphors…they’re not even metaphors. He’s explicitly saying his plans, they just sound like hyperbole

Ooooo Bobby is gonna turn vengeful but I don’t think it’s gonna be Dick

Damn near choked on my lunch when Dick told Charlie’s boss that she was in the same league as Bruce Springsteen and Eli Manning as irreplaceable people…where he is absolutely replaceable like Tim Tebow…and Joe Biden. Just DYING here

I’m trying to get a better look at Charlie’s apartment decor…just looks cool. They’re making plans to break into Dick’s office

Dammit Bobby…DAMMIT BOBBY. You can’t just hitch a ride in Charlie’s bag via flask

I know it was fine and culturally relevant at the time this came out to reference [fandom redacted], but it does sour my mood

I can’t believe the writers pretended that even just the description of Charlie’s tattoo isn’t at all sexy…

The WAY Dean is so very good at walking Charlie through flirting with men

You know that vague sense of unease you get at the end of Blink because you have no idea which statues all over the place could be Weeping Angels? I’m getting that way with every background extra for Leviathans, and like…much more than I had with any demons

Oh. Except the background extras from the private airport were actually………Sam and Dean

No, Bobby. Stay focused.

God he’s so creepy. Which is good for a billionaire who’s also a biblical monster but damn. It does seem like a fun role to get to play

Don’t put what to do about Bobby on the back burner guyssssss

“The Doctor’s Wife”

Plot Description: The Doctor is lured to a sentient asteroid outside of the Universe by a Time Lord distress signal and soon realises his TARDIS is in grave danger.

I just…why would he trust that the distress call ACTUALLY can’t from “one of the good” Time Lords??

And that’s what you get for buying that lie

OMG I FORGOT NEIL WROTE THIS ONE!!! Mr Gaiman, I’m sorry for being incredulous, but god I hope he doesn’t ever see this

“Biting’s excellent! It’s like kissing only there’s a winner.” Did he write this from/for present day tumblr??

Like…I KNOW what “the little boxes will make you angry” means but it’s another thing to HEAR all those Time Lords that got lured there

Michael Sheen as House is just…..he HAS THE RANGE, DARLING

Omggggg his sad little “don’t we all?” when Amy tells him he wants to be forgiven for what he did to Gallifrey 😭😭😭

That’s not good…

I do have a much different reaction to the reveal of how House repairs Uncle and Auntie than I probably did when I first saw this episode. I’ll hold off on whether it’s at all their fault too til later

Not saying that the Doctor isn’t right to be angry at the situation, but can Uncle and Auntie REALLY be blames?

Oh, Idris/the TARDIS is such a Gaiman character (affectionate, absolutely affectionate) from my experience with his work

Oh noooo, House just abducted Amy and Rory. That…is gonna be the worst mistake it made

OMG 💀 Uncle and Auntie are literally just like

The TARDIS calls Amy the orange girl. Cute

Wait, is…is this the one where Amy and Rory have to face all sorts of horrors in the TARDIS??

BOLD of the Doctor to look at the TARDIS junkyard and not think at all about how HIS TARDIS will feel about piecing together a new TARDIS out of parts of old ones after his reaction to the repairs on Uncle and Auntie…..just sayin

Oh. It is…I think.

She always took him where he needed to go ❤️❤️

Nooooooo. There it is, Amy and Rory got separated…again and again. I hate the pain they go through in this one. She’s done nothing wrong but he’ll yell at her because she’s made him wait again after already waiting 2000 years

Like…did he think he could JUST BUILD a TARDIS without putting the soul of a TARDIS in it??

Look. I know House is messing with them and all, but if I found out there was ANY possibility that I could believe the person I was with could loathe me so much that they’d write “KILL [NAME] DIE [NAME] HATE [NAME]” over and over and over all over the corridor where they died??? I don’t think I could so easily and so quickly run into their arms even when I found out that was an illusion. Yeah, I’d still go with them, but…..

I’m also having a different reaction to the whole the name of the TARDIS thing…

Oh it’s nice to see Nine/Ten’s control room again, at least i think that’s what it was. Feels so long ago now

“She’s the TARDIS?!” “And a woman” “did you wish really hard?” “Shut up, not like that”

There are some REALLY good lines. Great job, Neil!!“Fear me, I’ve killed hundreds of Time Lords” “Fear me, I killed them all”

She just wanted to tell him hello. She stole him away from Gallifrey seven hundred years ago and only got to say hello this once after all that time

[straycatboogie]

2023/03/03 English

BGM Hiroshi Takano - 目覚めの三月

Today I worked late. It was a fine day, and I felt sad as usual. But I tried to keep my routine without thinking that sad mood. I put my memo pad on the table and started writing my ideas in English with my frixion pen. I also read a book, listen to music, and post various interesting topics or the link of my blog in some chat groups on WhatsApp. If I keep on doing "what I should do", my feeling starts following that task. Sometimes I think that everything seems to be in vain. What can this task mean? But, probably I would keep on doing this routine even if the world would end. It is not for any beautiful ideal, but just because of my nature.

Today I read Peter Barakan's book "Oh This Side Of The Radio". Japanese have a great expression. "People have the past". In this book, Peter Baracan talks about how he influenced Japanese culture of music, and how he changed that culture through the activities as a DJ, a journalist, etc. Reading this, I thought how it is impressive because he kept on worked as an introducer of music through his life. Can I live the life without any wondering like him? It makes me think that. Me, although I have kept on having an ideal of writing something since I met Haruki Murakami at my teen days, but I admit that I once wondered a lot. Even now, I am just looking for how to live in darkness.

That Peter Baracan's book gives me an interesting topic, which is about the difference between Japanese culture and English culture. When Peter Baracan does his DJ in English, he does talk about some hot and serious topics as politics and international issues. I thought about my experiences by that. I also talk about that kind of politics when I am with friends on Discord or WhatsApp even if I don't know politics well. In Japan, it is different to stand on the stage to talk about politics in a calm and gentle mind. Indeed, we can talk about that on Twitter, but on Twitter it often products some frictions and battles losing gentleness. Therefore it is difficult not to get in any battle, but treat others as friends and do discussions.

How does that difference come from? Thinking about that, it became the time to start my work. I guess that is related with the phenomenon that protest songs of politics rarely become any great songs on the hit charts. Are there any great musicians as U2 and Bruce Springsteen in the world? Indeed, I won't think that it should be thought as "Japan is wrong" simply. This is never any irony. That kind of gentle phenomenon can be the greatness of Japanese culture. Japan have its great point of view so Japanese should follow that, not copying other countries' culture automatically. We can sing "our" protest songs or love songs. I like Mr. Children and Spitz, and I enjoy those Japanese tunes like grunge and britpop. That's great!

[nazmazh]

Playlist: The Drive Home

(This, of course, is not universal, and represents my personal tastes)

That hazy, dreamlike feeling of drifting along back home after some sort of gathering - A party? A good dinner out? A carnival or fair? Whatever it was, it was pretty great, but you're all feeling a little run down, now. Maybe there's a light rain or snow in the air, reflecting the streetlights to wash over you and the car completely. Or maybe you're out on the highway, under an open sky of stars. There's perhaps a little touch of melancholy, but in a fond sort of way. Nobody's jumping up and rocking out, but everyone's singing along to those classics they recognize - You're all keeping each other mutually-awake, if nothing else. You're going to cross through this liminal space all together, and stretch it out , so that you can hold on to that wonderful feeling from before, for as long as you can.

Fleetwood Mac - Dreams [Honourable Mention to Rhiannon]

Elton John - Tiny Dancer

The Beatles - Hey Jude

Don McLean - American Pie

Tom Cochran & Red Rider - Good Times

Jimi Hendrix - Angel

Jeff Healey - Angel [Yeah I honestly couldn't decide. And I know that the Hendrix original is the one most people know, I'm putting Healey hear because more people should know him and his work]

David Bowie - Starman [Yes, I'm going with this over Space Oddity, though that one probably would fit as well. I'd put Ashes to Ashes ahead of it too though]

Paul McCartney & Wings - Band on the Run

BareNaked Ladies - Brian Wilson

Foo Fighters - Baker Street [The original by Gerry Rafferty would also work, depending on your personal preferences]

Soul Asylum - Runaway Train

Blind Melon - No Rain

Blue Oyster Cult - Burnin' For You

Jay & The Americans - Come a Little Bit Closer

Tommy James and The Shondells - Crimson and Clover [Perhaps Joan Jett & The Blackhearts' version instead, if you'd prefer]

Ninja Sex Party - Everybody Wants to Rule The World [Yes, specifically their cover. The Tears for Fears original is fine too, but I really like their version, okay? The song itself is still familiar enough that I don't think it throws off the vibe I'm going for here]

Queen - Somebody to Love

Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

REM - Man on The Moon [Honourable Mention to Losing My Religion]

Boston - More Than a Feeling

The Cars - Just What I Needed

The Guess Who - No Sugar Tonight // New Mother Nature

Bruce Springsteen - Thunder Road

Andy Kim - Rock Me Gently

Blue Rodeo - Lost Together

Glen Campbell - Southern Nights

Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline

Darius Rucker - Wagon Wheel [Old Crow Medicine Show's original is very good too.]

Thin Lizzy - Whiskey in The Jar

David Lee Murphy - Dust on The Bottle

Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen

The Buggles - Video Killed the Radio Star

Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There

Creedence Clearwater Revival - Have You Ever Seen The Rain?

Semisonic - Closing Time

Night Ranger - Sister Christian

The Outfield - Your Love

Allman Brothers Band - Jessica

Styx - Mr. Roboto

Avicii - Hey Brother

Fastball - The Way

The Wallflowers - One Headlight

Counting Crows - Mr. Jones

Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man

John Denver - Take Me Home, Country Roads [Memey-ness or not, it's an all-time great sing-a-long]

The Moody Blues - Your Wildest Dreams

Mika - Grace Kelly

The Cure - Friday I'm in Love

Spin Doctors - Two Princes

The Weeknd - Save Your Tears

Cage The Elephant - Ain't No Rest for The Wicked

The Heavy - Short Change Hero [Yes, I have deep nostalgia for the first two Borderlands games, or at least the vibe of them. Why do you ask?]

Goo Goo Dolls - Black Balloon [Maybe Iris instead. As upbeat as Slide is, I think the subject matter of the song is perhaps a bit too heavy for the concept I'm going for here]

Don Henley - The Boys of Summer

Looking Glass - Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)

Traveling Wilburys - Handle With Care

Garth Brooks - Hard Luck Woman [Cover of a Kiss song. Maybe a bit obscure, per my guidelines. But y'know what,?I've let other covers I've liked than originals better go in here instead of the originals. So screw it. It makes the cut!]

Manfred Mann's Earth Band - Blinded By The Light (Technically a Bruce Springsteen cover, but this is so very much the definitive version)

Billy Joel - Piano Man (Although, Only the Good Die Young, For the Longest Time, and River of Dreams are strong contenders)

Toto - Africa

Baltimora - Tarzan Boy

Van Halen - Dreams [Just edges out Right Now]

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - Into The Great Wide Open

Steve Miller Band - Rock'n Me

.38 Special - Back Where You Belong

ABBA - Dancing Queen

Blondie - The Tide Is High

Eagle-Eye Cherry - Save Tonight

Lady A - Need You Now

The Rolling Stones - Wild Horses

Rush - Limelight

Aliotta Haynes Jeremiah - Lake Shore Drive

Cyndi Lauper - I Drove All Night [Contrast with Roy Orbison's version]

Mr Big - To Be With You

Matchbox Twenty - 3AM

Guess who finally finished his long-overdue playlist project?

That's right, I finally did!

Here's a chain of those playlists separate from the original set of questions Teaboot posed, so that they can be found in one convenient place:

[boognish-worshipper]

Blue Monday

(this should be sorta short, at least shorter than the last one i posted hopefully 👀 also wow this is my second completed piece, 2 in 1 day babyyy)

inspired by a dream i had lolz

How does it feel

To treat me like you do?

When you've laid your hands upon me

And told me who you are?

Trevor never really liked the 1980s. It wasn’t until the near end of the decade that he began shifting his view on things around him. One thing he knew though was that he never really liked the generic pop music that was churned out constantly. Hearing hits on the radio didn’t do much for him, except maybe a headache from the earworm-like tunes. People like him didn’t exactly flock to the discotheque. When he met Michael though, he had been forced to listen to all types of 80s music. He was rather fond early 80s pop rock (aka that shit labeled “new wave” or whatever the fuck) whereas Trevor liked late 70s hardcore punk. They had discussed their taste in music a long while ago, so Michael almost fainted from shock upon learning Trevor’s dislike for the 80s, music and all. The two had been listening to some random station in Trevor’s truck when the topic was brought up.

“What?! The 80s’re golden, man! Ain’t nothin’ like it!”

Trevor merely scoffed at his flustered demeanor.

“Yeah, well for me it’s been shit. At least up until now, I guess.”

“Dude, I gotta give you some song recs-“

“Ehh you don’t gotta do that-“

“No, I do! Tell you what. I’ll make you a mixtape with some of the best songs I know that I think you’ll like.”

“Ugh.. fine.”

Trevor kicked up his feet as another song played on the radio, some Queen song Michael was really into. He told Trevor that Queen was one of his favorite bands, relaying to him about the first time he saw them in concert. He gave him a soft smile in return, watching how passionate Michael was about his interests.

“Listen, next time I see ya I’ll have the tape ready. You said you were into punk or something right?”

Trevor felt his heart flutter faintly. He didn’t think Michael would remember that.

“Uh.. yeah. You didn’t forget?”

“Of course not man, I ain’t some jerk who don’t listen to what you gotta say.”

He felt heat creeping onto his cheeks, choosing to look straight ahead so he wouldn’t have to look into Michael’s eyes.

“Cool, cool. Thanks.”

“Of course.”

The two sat and chatted for a little while longer, with Michael talking to him about his favorite movies or whatever song that came on that he knew by heart. Trevor felt warm around him, especially whenever Michael carried himself in conversation with all the confidence a person could have.

The next time they met, he handed Trevor the cassette. He placed it in his palm with both hands, eyes glimmering at him with a childlike sort of glee.

“I really hope you like it, T.”

The contact made him feel warm again, but it was slowly approaching an uncomfortable heat. He pulled his hand back, looking over the cassette. On a piece of masking tape, relatively neat handwriting read “Songs 4 T” with a small smiley face on the side. He looked back up at Michael, who was bashfully glancing to the side and scratching the back of his head.

“I uh… I wasn’t sure what to label it but it’s yours so.. yeah.”

Trevor grinned lopsidedly at him, and he thought it was sort of cute how meek he became.

“I appreciate this Mikey. Thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah. You don’t gotta thank me though, I just figure you need some taste in your life for once.”

“Hey, fuck you. Punk rock happens to be very uplifting.”

“Oh I’m sure it is T, with all the screaming and whatnot.”

The two of them chuckled and parted ways. Shortly after leaving, Trevor suddenly realized he didn’t have a walkman or anything like that to play it on. He’d have to either buy one, or shake some random civilian down and steal it. He shrugged, thinking to himself that the latter could wait for another day. He had enough money to buy one.

When he heard the unfamiliar beat start on the cassette tape, he was immediately hooked. He wasn’t expecting Michael to be into that true new wave synth pop music. He thought that he just stuck to his regular pop rock like Queen and other artists like them. The steady beat and wonky noises that filled his ears caused him to be enamored with the sound. The post-punk vibe resonated with him, feeling himself basically melt into the music. Michael remembered.

I thought I was mistaken

I thought I heard your words

Tell me how do I feel?

Tell me now, how do I feel?

The rest of the tape was satisfactory, with Trevor underestimating how superb Michael’s taste in music was. He didn’t expect to like a single song, plotting a lie in advance if Michael asked him what he thought of the tape. His favorite song was definitely the first one that played. He knew he’d have to ask Michael what song it was the next time they hung out.

“Blue Monday. New Order. Used to be Joy Division before one of the members passed?”

Trevor had liked Joy Division. He didn’t know that they had rebranded themselves for a different type of sound under a new name.

“The tape didn’t suck to be honest. Liked the sound.”

Michael beamed at him. Trevor felt the same warmth again.

“Good. I was ah.. hoping you would.”

Trevor would go on to cherish the tape, listening to “Blue Monday” over and over. He eventually went out and got some New Order cassettes to have for his walkman, and courtesy of Michael, got a few more mixtapes with artists ranging from Bruce Springsteen to Prince. He would always love the one labeled “Songs 4 T”, making sure to never lose it.

//20 something years later…

Trevor had been driving around in his now-beat up truck when he heard it. He had left on Michael’s favorite radio station, forgetting to change it.

“Coming up next, New Order’s Blue Monday-“

He wondered why the name sounded so familiar, until he heard the opening beat play. He sat in shock at the sound, memories flooding back to him. It was like he was launched into the late 80s, to when him and Michael were just getting to know each other. He cranked the volume as high as it could go, turning a couple heads in the process. He sped up, flying through a red light at a relatively empty intersection. He had several cars honk at him, and a few profanities thrown his way but he didn’t care. He felt like he was floating, the words coming back to him twice as hard.

I see a ship in the harbour

I can and shall obey

But, if it wasn't for your misfortune

I'd be a heavenly person today

He wondered a lot about who he’d be today if Michael never faked his death. He thought about it again hearing the words pour out of his blown out speakers. It only made him press harder on the pedal, coasting down the Grand Senora Freeway. He shut his eyes briefly, trying to relive the first time he heard the song. It reminded him of what he thought was a better time, taking him back to when he first recognized those feelings he had for his partner. The familiar warmth flowing through him.

I thought I told you to leave me

While I walked down to the beach

Tell me how does it feel

When your heart grows cold?

[janiedean]

First off, I'm a HUGE fan of I'll be the frosting to your cupcake, one of the first fics I reread and a comfort fic staple of mine from the on.

Having said that, I recently learned English isnt your first language, and I'm shook. How do you write in such a flowy ample vocabulary precise english? Are you half British or sth? Have you live outside of Italy? What's your secret? What are your tips, please help a sister in need!

first of all thank you so much you're too kind ;v; and I'm really happy that it's been... ALMOST TEN YEARS and it still holds up ;v;

that said hahaha well I'M VERY HAPPY I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY MASTERED THE POWER OF NOT MAKING IT KNOWN ENGLISH IS NOT MY MOTHER TONGUE MUAHAHAH but in all seriousness:

no I'm not half british, my aunt was a high school english teacher but that was it and she definitely didn't speak english to me growing up beyond giving me the basics

no I haven't lived outside Italy just been on vacation in english speaking places so those two guesses aren't correct but

take into account that I'm 33 and I started learning english srsly when I was like twelve and I started writing in english when I was.... nineteen going on twenty so the way I write now is because I pretty much wrote in english nonstop since then, obviously whatever I wrote in 2007 had a worse vocabular/wasn't as good as it is now so count that a lot of that is practice

now basically i know it'll sound like ARE YOU SERIOUS but: I learned first translating songs by hand which meant I spent two years with a vocabulary translating bruce springsteen's and bon jovi's opera omnia that I had booklets for (YES THE INTERNET WAS ON 56K I HAD THE DAMNED LYRIC BOOKLETS RIP) and that.. I mean it didn't give me the widest vocab ever but it got me started, and then I jumped the bridge and started reading in english at.... eh I was 15 but like I got into stephen king, read a few of his books in italian, then got one I already had in italian in english for kicks and realized it... was better not translated so I swallowed the whole OH GOD I WON'T UNDERSTAND 1/5TH OF THE WORDS thing and went for it and like I can 100% assure you that if you get through the dark tower's second book and the indecent level of nyc slang in it you won't ever go back

(then being a masochist I went straight for steinbeck and if you manage the grapes of wrath at the level I was you're good X°D)

now like... that shows because every single time I take english tests like HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE WORDS/WHAT IS YOUR WORDING CHOICE/WHAT DOES YOUR WRITING SOUND LIKE I without fail get as results that I pronounce like someone from new jersey/pennsylvania and I use words like someone from maine and that I read like king which... LIKE I LEARNED 95% OF MY ENGLISH on all of that so that makes sense

now the thing is after king I basically went like okay if that writer's english or writes in english I'm not checking the translations so basically I've read in english for twenty years and like... if you want to write you have to read and like I swear that when I was in high school I didn't need to open grammar books beyond the basics or actually study english at all bc having actually read stuff I like... having seen the word/expressions used on paper meant I knew how to use them so there was that but like the point is that if you read a lot your vocabulary automatically gets wider and if you see how published people you like write that helps you too because it gives you the background, makes you see how people break the rules etc

with this I mean... like you know everyone is like YOU HAVE TO WRITE SHORT SENTENCES IN ENGLISH UNLESS YOU'RE A CLASSICAL AUTHOR OR YOU'RE WRONG? okay like I always struggled with it bc I tend to be long-winded, then one day I ran into michael chabon who not only has the kind of refined vocab I can only dream of, but he also has no issue dropping six-lines long sentences (or a 12 pages stream of consciousness of a parrot without a dot bless him) and he won a pulitzer prize and while I am certainly not michael chabon and I can only dream of being 10% as good when it comes to that mix of craft, if he can do that then who stops me from six-lines sentences? yeah, no one XD

and I mean like... just to say one re how you re-elaborate things, the whole thing I do with using parentheses on another new line to say how characters are feeling or switch pov for a moment etc etc is a thing I absolutely lifted from king bc when I read him doing it I decided it was genius, but like at some point I started doubling or tripling the parentheses if I wanted to show what someone was thinking superficially and subconsciously which is a thing king doesn't do but at some point it happened and I liked it so I did it, and that's like the only conscious example I can give you but like you develop your style also based on what you like reading and what comes easy to you but that's things you find out through practice and again... if you like specific writers most likely it'll show up in your writing but that's fine everyone has their role models

also like... I personally don't gaf if supposed english tradition says I can't do something I'd do writing in italian ie abusing semicolons and long-winded sentences, like... if you're good at specific thing that your language allows and english doesn't don't gaf and write it in english anyway who cares

tldr the tips are: read a lot in english, consume a lot of media in english, practice a lot because you get better/get the hand of it with time (again if you read my lost fanfic on lj written in 2008-2011 it's nowhere near the same level as what I write now but not even the stuff I wrote in my spn days is at the level I am now etc), read a lot also in your own language or in any other you know, write as much as you can, if you feel like you're copying your favorite writer don't gaf and go ahead anyway at some point you'll sound like you and not like whoever your fave writer is and be constant because again 50% is reading a lot and 50% is practice, I know it sounds like the discovery of hot water but I swear I managed that without living anywhere else and only reading/writing/talking to people on the internet so... it does work X°D

<3

[doctapuella]

Ok now you have to (if you feel like it ❤) do top 5 or 10 SEXIEST boys.

im HYPERVENTILATING this is the most magical prompt. i'm just some dumbass online but somewhere within me is the soul of an academic, one who spent yesterday binging brian david gilbert videos, so obviously i have overthought every detail and must first define the terms and parameters of this project and its scope:

i don't want to make this just a list of "who are my fave music boy crushes" because then i'm gonna talk about emotions and emotions are disgusting (citation: i'm a capricorn). i also just don't want to end up with a list of the physical features that i'm most into (soft tummies, chest hair, smol fluffy boys in general) because then it's gonna get really repetitive. but there will still be overlap between this and the previous list. my personal (very biased and subjective) academic definition of "sexy", therefore, will be predominantly physical and based on the following three variables:

eyes & expressions made with said eyes (also contributes to point 3 on this list, but is important enough to consider as a variable on its own)

frontal impact, defined here as "nice chest and tummy area" because i refuse to ignore it completely

vibes, defined here as "the ability to make me, famously a person who cannot shut up, speechless"

and so, with that, onward:

1. bruno ravel: okay so maybe i made my list of parameters with this specific boy in mind, and i refuse to apologize for it. he's my all-time favorite boy for a reason. (for many reasons, but lots of them are emotional so we won't go there.) he's just??? my boy????? best smile, best vibes, best frontal impact, and wooooo boy his eyes i had a breakdown over his eyes once!!!!! at least once. can't be sure. my brain kinda blacks out a little. i almost didnt even include him bc i didn't think i'd be able to string together any words with actual content. i got plenty of words though!!!!!

2. brad gillis: fucking breaks my mind??? normally i will rant and ramble about every detail about a boy but. brad. [also the rest of these boys have the blandest names im so sorry its so unfortunate.] i have such intense brad thoughts and i can put almost none of them into words. he's goofy as fuck, but then he can shift right to the intense eyes that stare into my soul and make me want to do literally anything he says. also like, physically? he's so ideal. somewhere on my phone is a screenshot from @shelickedthebeater sending me a pic of brad and said "hes very shape, i must say. rachels-perfect-boyfriend-shape" and she was so right to do so. AND this is prob true for most of them but it's so extra true for brad, that in 2022 he can absolutely still fucking get it.

3. dave meniketti: this man's singing voice in the 70s hit me like a shot to the fucking brain and i've never been the same. he's so fascinating to me because sometimes i'll see a pic and be like "hmm yeah i guess i like him fine" but? pictures cannot do him justice, i tell you. when he is performing, ohhhhhhh my god i just wanna be on my knees in front of him. just trust me when i tell you he has the sluttiest vibes in the best possible way.

4. eric carr: how can i even begin okay so, obviously, number one fluffy boy. he's not number one overall boy but he shot to the tops of my faves list real fucking fast. i'll admit i had a serious anti-kiss bias for absolutely no good reason, and i fought being into this boy for so long. i had a whole series of emotional breakdowns over it. and in the end, i like emotionally imprinted on him like i was a little baby duckling. but we aren't here for emotions, we're here for silly boys with intense drumming style and a body that i need to spend all of my free time licking.

5. bruce springsteen: listen. all of the boys on this list are just some guy, and bruce is the most "just some guy" of them all. ok wow jeans and white tshirt, whatever. we've seen it. but oh my god something about his energy fucks me up so bad????? like i've heard his songs my whole life and then one day pinterest was like "can i offer u a bruce in these trying times" and my brain went "oh???? yes u may???" and here we are. he also has some quality to his voice that turns my insides to jello. but there's also a very, idk, normie aspect to him (his just-some-guyness) that makes me write tags like "boyfriend vibes".

6. vivian campbell: i fully want to bang viv at all stages of his adult life but i would like to dedicate this spot on the post to the viv era that stopped me from being a phil girl (wow, that was a whole time in itself, huh). late 90s viv. the beginning of his shirtless era. specifically viv during the '99 concert in tokyo. i went from "idk he's not really on my dl radar" to "okay yeah he's very nearly the tops of my list" just from this one show. it opened my eyes to a whole new world of this boy. he starts off the show in a super tight black long sleeve shirt with mesh panels oh my god and then changes into a red leather shirt??? and by the end he is shirtless and sweaty as FUCK and alskdjfldsjflkjsdfsadf mesh time

7. bobby blotzer: look i said i'm basing this on mostly physicality and i really like his physicality. i like the intense stare and goddddd he's got a great chest/tummy situation. he's like squishy and dumb and fuckkkk i love that. but like really i fuckin love watching him drum?? his drumming energy is so great and i want to harness the energy (just the energy, not the boy) for my own nefarious purposes. (i mean, i will use the boy for said purposes too, just not in a harness. (on his knees.))

8. phil campbell: idk man i think this is another voice-related one for me. i took no notice of him until i heard his welsh accent and then my eyeballs widened and suddenly i was ready to be all over that. and!!! so glad i started looking!!!! this boy has peak soft tummy and i want to die kissing it oh my godddddd!!!!

9. simon le bon: ok so half the time he's the dorkiest fuckin weirdo on the block. but the other half of the time sir please yes?? also also bearded simon just hits so nice wow. honestly, sometimes he's like too normie-attractive for me. like, a model? with discernable abs? hmm no not for me. but his empty-brain vibes and smile just fuck me up in the end, so he gets to be on the list.

10. tom petersson: this whole band has the strongest BDE and tom is soooo pretty and idk?? he's kinda like simon in that he's almost too conventionally attractive for me to want to jump on, but he has enough of a goofy side to even it out. and he wears some suuuuper low unbuttoned shirts with his tight pants. and smiiiiile oh my god his smile. like, by virtue of status of being in one of the greatest and most influential bands ever, he absolutely earns the title of sexy.

[roamwithahungryheart]

Hey all! Reposting the edited version of the Valentine’s Day themed preview of a Defending Jacob fic I’m working on inspired by the Bruce Springsteen song ‘Living Proof’. Written for the lovely @just-one-ordinary-fangirl  ‘s 1000 Follower Challenge, hope you enjoy it!

Sundays were often hectic. Laurie knew she’d be hard-pressed to coax a full sentence out of Andy. She’d watch him as he worked, papers strewn across the kitchen table, a slice of pizza wilting in his hand. But today was going to be different. Today was Valentine’s Day.

Laurie turned to look at Andy as they lay in bed that morning. He was content, one arm across his chest, lips gently twitching. Careful not to wake him, Laurie rose from the bed slowly and tiptoed to the bathroom. Leaning forward to inspect her reflection, she smoothed her tousled hair and splashed her face with cold water. Laurie popped her lips and breathed deeply, releasing the tension in her shoulders. She shouldn’t be this nervous. She crept back into the bedroom and stood in front of the long mirror by the door. Her slender hands cradled her stomach as she turned sideways, looking for even the slightest curve. The sound of creaking bed springs startled her. Andy stretched and let out a long, deep yawn. Laurie straightened her shirt and sprawled out on top of the comforter, her hand entwining with Andy’s.

“Look under your pillow.” Laurie smiled.

Andy fumbled beneath the pillow and pulled out a red envelope. “Look in the nightstand.” Andy smiled back, a playful glint in his eyes.

Sure enough, there was another red envelope sitting in the top drawer. They huddled together, and Laurie chuckled as she read Andy’s words. No matter how many sweet nothings they whispered to each other, Andy would always fool around just to make Laurie smile. He loved the way her eyes softened and her head tilted when she smiled. And though she often chided Andy with a soft slap on the shoulder, she loved that she still felt the same warm spark of excitement every time he surprised her.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” Laurie’s words were muffled against Andy’s shoulder, and she wrapped an arm around him as he leaned down to kiss the crown of her head. “Please tell me you’re not working today.”

Andy huffed in amusement. “I think I can take a day off.”

“Thank God,” Laurie laughed “I can’t remember the last time we had a lazy Sunday.”

“I guess we should make up for lost time.” Andy pulled Laurie against his chest, his lips trailing from her neck to her collar bone. Laurie wriggled underneath him and tilted his face to kiss him long and hard. They hadn’t been this close in months. It was as if they were experiencing their first kiss all over again.

Finally coming up for air, they made their way into the kitchen, hands clasped tightly together. A large bouquet of roses sat on the kitchen island. Laurie could tell they were house-broken, their stems beginning to bend, but it didn’t matter. Andy made breakfast with the methodical patience of a seasoned chef. Even now, years into their marriage, he still wanted to impress her.

Laurie didn’t have her usual morning coffee. She didn’t eat the bowl of grapefruit on the side. Andy’s eyes narrowed as he watched her pick at her plate.

“Laurie, are you okay?” He draped an arm over his chair and frowned.

“I’m fine.” Laurie said, her cadence rising as she fought the urge to spoil the surprise. She placed her fork on the table and sipped her glass of water.

“Uh-oh,” Andy smirked “you’re hiding something. I’m gonna get you to break. I’m a very successful lawyer, I have my ways.”

Laurie leaned forward, resting her chin in her palm. “Try me.”

“What movie did we watch on our third date?”

“Alright, you asked for it.” Andy laced his fingers together and lowered his head, ready to interrogate. “What’s my full name?”

Laurie rolled her eyes. “Andrew Stephen Barber.”

“Casablanca. Showcase Superlux theater. Friday night. You spilled your drink opening the door for me.”

“Damn,” Andy muttered “she’s good.”

Laurie sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. “Next question.”

Andy’s shoulders dropped as he exhaled and went in for the kill. “What do you wanna call the baby?”

“Are you ready for this?” Laurie reached for Andy’s hand, moving his wedding band back and forth as she always did when he needed reassurance.

Laurie slapped the table in defeat. “How did you know?”

“Just a hunch.” he shrugged. “Oh, and I found three tests in the trash.”

“Can’t wait.”

Permanent taglist: @hiddelstannerbarnes  @redlipstickandblacktea @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho @djeniiscorner @its-tortle @darlinstyles @k347 @ixalit @iguessweallcrazyithinktho @cevansfics @capchrisevaans @hawkeyeandthewintersoldier @musette22 @mcubabydotcom @worksby-d​ @caplanbuckybarnes​ @caplanreads​

[mattprivettwrites]

The best songs of the 1970s

“What started out as a joke has turned into a disaster!” - Stu Nahan, Rocky IV

So my employment has me in my car a lot, which means I’m listening to the radio a lot. If I’m not listening to a podcast or baseball game through my phone I also have SiriusXM, which of course has a plethora of musical options. I gravitate to the 70s and 80s channels because, well, of course I do.

Something else about me you may or may not know is that I love ranking things. I have a Note on my phone I’m regularly accessing that is nothing but different types of rankings. 

Thus, you can imagine my excitement when the 70s on 7 station announced a listener-voted Top 700 Songs of the 70s countdown over Labor Day weekend. It was a fun listen. They went through it twice over the four day weekend, and I was laboring much so I heard much.

It prompted me to think: What are my top seventy songs of the 70s? Surely I wasn’t going to come up with a top 700. After all, some in that list were real stinkers. But seventy? No problem. And indeed, it wasn’t hard to come up with that many songs. The hard part was narrowing it down. And once I did, there were still so many songs on my list I had enough for more lists, so I expanded it to 140, then 210, and... well...

I’m about to give you the authoritative list of the 350 best songs of the 1970s. I originally put out a Top 70 list on Facebook a few weeks ago. Much that of that list remains the same, with a few changes. But now there is much more. I’ve divided these into five “volumes” of seventy songs. They are my picks, but I welcome your feedback, because what’s a good set of rankings without debate and discussion.

Vol. 1 (1–70)

Chicago - “25 or 6 to 4”

Billy Joel - “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”

The Doobie Brothers - “What a Fool Believes”

Queen - “Bohemian Rhapsody”

Boston - “More Than a Feeling”

Elton John & Kiki Dee - “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”

Gerry Rafferty - “Baker Street”

ABBA - “Waterloo”

Don McLean - “American Pie”

The Eagles - “Take It to the Limit”

Fleetwood Mac - “The Chain”

Lynyrd Skynyrd - “Free Bird”

Billy Joel - “Until the Night”

Looking Glass - “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)”

Stevie Wonder - “Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours”

Elton John - “Philadelphia Freedom”

The Bee Gees - “Stayin’ Alive”

The Knack - “My Sharona”

Derek & The Dominos - “Layla”

Chicago - “Just You ’N’ Me”

The Emotions - “Best of My Love”

Jefferson Starship - “Miracles”

Aerosmith - “Dream On”

Joe Cocker - “You Are So Beautiful”

The Who - “Won’t Get Fooled Again”

Carly Simon - “You’re So Vain”

Electric Light Orchestra - “Livin’ Thing”

The Rolling Stones - “Beast of Burden”

Queen - “We Will Rock You / We Are the Champions”

Billy Joel - “My Life”

Journey - “Lights”

Toto - “Hold the Line”

Michael Jackson - “Don’t Stop ’til You Get Enough”

Pilot - “Magic”

Bruce Springsteen - “Born to Run”

Led Zeppelin - “Stairway to Heaven”

Styx - “Babe”

Stevie Wonder - “Sir Duke”

Orleans - “Still the One”

Samantha Sang - “Emotion”

Foreigner - “Feels Like the First Time”

ABBA - “Dancing Queen”

The Four Seasons - “December, 1963 (Oh What a Night)”

Marvin Gaye - “Trouble Man”

The Spinners - “Rubberband Man”

Kansas - “Carry On Wayward Son”

The Jackson 5 - “I Want You Back”

Chicago - “If You Leave Me Now”

Bill Withers - “Ain’t No Sunshine”

Earth, Wind, & Fire - “Shining Star”

Olivia Newton-John & John Travolta - “You’re the One That I Want”

Yvonne Ellman - “If I Can’t Have You”

Fleetwood Mac - “Don’t Stop”

Billy Joel - “Just the Way You Are”

The Eagles - “I Can’t Tell You Why”

Free - “All Right Now”

Kenny Rogers - “The Gambler”

The Bee Gees - “Night Fever”

Player - “Baby Come Back”

The Ides of March - “Vehicle”

David Bowie - “Starman”

The Five Stairsteps - “O-O-H Child”

Carole King - “I Feel the Earth Move”

Elton John - “My Father’s Gun”

Jefferson Starship - “Jane”

Stevie Wonder - “Higher Ground”

Electric Light Orchestra - “Mr. Blue Sky”

Seals & Croft - “Summer Breeze”

The Temptations - “Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone”

Chicago - “Old Days”

——

Vol. 2 (71–140)

The Who - “Baba O’Riley”

The Eagles - “Hotel California”

Billy Joel - “Prelude/Angry Young Man”

Aerosmith - “Walk This Way”

The Four Seasons - “Who Loves You”

Gerry Rafferty - “Right Down the Line”

Chicago - “Make Me Smile”

The Bee Gees - “Too Much Heaven”

Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band - “Old Time Rock and Roll”

Elton John - “Your Song”

Earth, Wind, & Fire - “September”

Queen - “Somebody to Love”

Paul McCartney & Wings - “Live and Let Die”

The Village People - “Y.M.C.A.”

James Taylor - “Fire and Rain”

Led Zeppelin - “Whole Lotta Love”

The Spinners - “Could It Be I’m Falling in Love”

Three Dog Night - “Joy to the World”

Jim Croce - “I Got a Name”

Billy Joel - “Stiletto”

The Jackson 5 - “ABC”

Styx - “Come Sail Away”

Dobie Gray - “Drift Away”

Ozark Mountain Daredevils - “Jackie Blue”

Stevie Wonder - “I Wish”

Credence Clearwater Revival - “Up Around the Bend”

The Hollies - “Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress)”

Daryl Hall & John Oates - “Rich Girl”

Elton John - “Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting)”

KISS - “Rock and Roll All Nite”

Fleetwood Mac - “Go Your Own Way”

Carl Douglas - “Kung Fu Fighting”

Steve Miller Band - “Jet Airliner”

Chicago - “Saturday in the Park”

Led Zeppelin - “Immigrant Song”

The Beatles - “Let It Be”

Three Dog Night - “An Old Fashioned Love Song”

Bad Company - “Can’t Get Enough”

Grand Funk Railroad - “We’re an American Band”

The Bee Gees - “More Than a Woman”

The Charlie Daniels Band - “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”

The Doobie Brothers - “Listen to the Music” 

Black Sabbath - “Iron Man”

Chic - “Good Times”

Billy Joel - “Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)”

Harry Chapin - “Cat’s in the Cradle”

The Bay City Rollers - “Saturday Night”

Elton John - Bennie and the Jets”

K.C. & The Sunshine Band - “That’s the Way (I Like It)”

Lynyrd Skynyrd - “Sweet Home Alabama”

Carole King - “It’s Too Late”

The O’Jays - “Love Train”

Billy Joel - “Piano Man”

Foreigner - “Double Vision”

Chicago - “Feelin’ Stronger Every Day”

Peaches & Herb - “Reunited”

Deep Purple - “Smoke on the Water”

Wild Cherry - “Play That Funky Music”

Marvin Gaye - “I Want You”

Orleans - “Dance With Me”

Earth, Wind, & Fire - “After the Love Has Gone”

Van Halen - “Ain’t Talkin’ Bout Love”

Paul McCartney & Wings - “My Love”

Little River Band - “Lonesome Loser”

Stevie Wonder - “Isn’t She Lovely?”

Steely Dan - “Reelin’ in the Years”

Cheap Trick - “Surrender”

The Sugarhill Gang - “Rapper’s Delight”

Maxine Nightingale - “Right Back Where We Started From”

The Who - “Who Are You”

——

Vol. 3 (141–210)

Gloria Gaynor - “I Will Survive”

Led Zeppelin - “Kashmir”

Chicago - “Baby, What a Big Surprise”

Sister Sledge - “We Are Family”

Jackson Browne - “Running on Empty”

Olivia Newton John - “Hopelessly Devoted to You”

Vicki Sue Robinson - “Turn the Beat Around”

Billy Joel - “Big Shot”

Starland Vocal Band - “Afternoon Delight”

Rupert Holmes - “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)”

Queen - “Don’t Stop Me Now”

Andrea True Connection - “More More More”

The Guess Who - “American Woman”

The Doobie Brothers - “Black Water”

Paul McCartney & Wings - “Band on the Run”

Stevie Wonder - “Superstition”

Elton John - “Someone Saved My Life Tonight”

James Taylor - “Your Smiling Face”

The Rolling Stones - “Miss You”

Chicago - “Beginnings”

Bachman-Turner Overdrive - “Let It Ride”

Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band - “We’ve Got Tonight”

Styx - “Lady”

Three Dog Night - “Mama Told Me (Not to Come)”

Journey - “Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’”

Foreigner - “Cold As Ice”

10cc - “I’m Not in Love”

Credence Clearwater Revival - “Have You Ever Seen the Rain”

K.C. & The Sunshine Band - “Get Down Tonight”

Billy Joel - “Summer Highland Falls”

The Delfonics - “Didn’t I (Blow Your Mind This Time)”

Electric Light Orchestra - “Don’t Bring Me Down”

The Bee Gees - “How Deep Is Your Love”

Ike & Tina Turner - “Proud Mary”

Elton John - “Levon”

The Doobie Brothers - “Long Train Runnin’”

Seals & Croft - “Diamond Girl”

Redbone - “Come and Get Your Love”

Kenny Loggins - “This Is It”

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band - “Blinded By the Light”

Roberta Flack - “Killing Me Softly With His Song”

Paul McCartney & Wings - “With a Little Luck”

The Bellamy Brothers - “Let Your Love Flow”

The Carpenters - “Superstar”

Blue Oyster Cult - “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper”

Stevie Wonder - “You Are the Sunshine of My Life”

Eddie Money - “Baby Hold On”

Ted Nugent - “Cat Scratch Fever”

The Eagles - “Best of My Love”

The Four Tops - “Ain’t No Woman (Like the One I’ve Got)”

Chicago - “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Chairmen of the Board - “Give Me Just a Little More Time”

The Cars - “Just What I Needed”

Queen - “You’re My Best Friend”

Thelma Houston - “Don’t Leave Me This Way”

Heart - “Barracuda”

Isaac Hayes - “Theme from Shaft”

Daryl Hall & John Oates - “She’s Gone”

Rod Stewart - “You’re in My Heart (The Final Acclaim)”

Billy Joel - “She’s Got a Way”

The Hues Corporation - “Rock the Boat”

Steve Miller Band - “Fly Like an Eagle”

Thin Lizzy - “Jailbreak”

Supertramp - “Give a Little Bit”

Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes - “If You Don’t Know Me By Now”

America - “Sister Golden Hair”

Pure Prairie League - “Amie”

The Temptations - “Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)”

Prince - “I Wanna Be Your Lover”

Van Halen - “Eruption / You Really Got Me”

——

Vol. 4 (211–280)

Led Zeppelin - “When the Levee Breaks”

The Clash - “London Calling”

Chicago - “(I’ve Been) Searchin’ So Long”

KISS - “Detroit Rock City”

Bobby Womack - “Across 110th Street”

Bad Company - “Feel Like Makin’ Love”

Billy Joel - “I’ve Loved These Days”

Jim Croce - “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown”

Aerosmith - “Sweet Emotion”

Ace - “How Long”

James Taylor - “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)”

The Chi-Lites - “Oh Girl”

Frank Mills - “Music Box Dancer”

Amii Stewart - “Knock on Wood”

ABBA - “Take a Chance on Me”

Grand Funk Railroad - “Some Kind of Wonderful”

Elton John - “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”

Fleetwood Mac - “Dreams”

The Sweet - “Fox on the Run”

Herb Alpert - “Rise”

The Eagles - “The Long Run”

K.C. & The Sunshine Band - “Boogie Shoes”

Marvin Gaye - “What’s Going On”

Todd Rundgren - “Hello, It’s Me”

Black Sabbath - “Paranoid”

Paul McCartney - “Maybe I’m Amazed”

The Rolling Stones - “It’s Only Rock and Roll (But I Like It)”

Boston - “Don’t Look Back”

Billy Joel - “Streetlife Serenader”

Journey - “Wheel in the Sky”

Poco - “Crazy Love”

Blondie - “Heart of Glass”

James Gang - “Funk #49”

Kansas - “Dust in the Wind”

Kenny Loggins & Stevie Nicks - “Whenever I Call You ‘Friend’”

Steely Dan - “Do It Again”

Natalie Cole “This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)”

Billy Preston - “Outa-Space”

Boz Skaggs - “Lido Shuffle”

Leo Sayer - “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing”

Alicia Bridges - “I Love the Nightlife (Disco ‘Round)”

10cc - “The Things We Do For Love”

America - “Ventura Highway”

Smokey Robinson & The Miracles - “Tears of a Clown”

Donna Summer - “Hot Stuff”

Edgar Winter Group - “Free Ride”

Chicago - “Wishing You Were Here”

The Jackson 5 - “The Love You Save”

Carly Simon - “Nobody Does It Better”

Parliament - “Flashlight”

T. Rex - “Bang a Gong (Get It On)”

Ohio Players - “Love Rollercoaster”

Chuck Mangione - “Feels So Good”

Jackson Browne - “Doctor My Eyes”

The Eagles - “Take It Easy”

The Ramones - “Blitzkrieg Bop”

Seals & Croft - “Get Closer”

Queen - “Killer Queen”

Carol Douglas - “Doctor’s Orders”

Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band - “Her Strut”

Billy Joel - “Vienna”

Average White Band - “Pick Up the Pieces”

James Taylor - “Handy Man”

Thin Lizzy - “The Boys Are Back in Town”

Walter Murphy - “A Fifth of Beethoven”

Three Dog Night - “Shambala”

The Three Degrees - “When Will I See You Again”

Jim Croce - “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim”

The Commodores - “Machine Gun”

Led Zeppelin - “The Song Remains the Same”

——

Vol. 5 (281–350)

Bachman-Turner Overdrive - “You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet”

Billy Joel - “Miami 2017 (I’ve Seen The Lights Go Out On Broadway)”

Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band - “Still the Same”

Al Green - “Let’s Stay Together”

ABBA - “S.O.S.”

The Cars - “Let’s Go”

Ted Nugent - “Stranglehold”

Elton John - “Rocket Man (I Think It’s Going To Be A Long Long Time)”

Styx - “Renegade”

Eddie Rabbitt - “Every Which Way But Loose”

Alice Cooper - “No More Mr. Nice Guy”

Daryl Hall & John Oates - “Sara Smile”

Chicago - “Lowdown”

Love Unlimited Orchestra - “Love’s Theme”

Rod Stewart - “Maggie May”

Paul Simon - “Slip, Slidin’ Away”

Robert Palmer - “Bad Case of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor)”

MFSB - “The Sound of Philadelphia”

Ambrosia - “How Much I Feel”

Electric Light Orchestra - “Evil Woman”

Bruce Springsteen - “Thunder Road”

ZZ Top - “La Grange”

Gino Vannelli - “I Just Wanna Stop”

Gilbert O’Sullivan - “Alone Again (Naturally)”

Fleetwood Mac - “Say You Love Me”

The Doobie Brothers - “Rockin’ Down the Highway”

Golden Earring - “Radar Love”

Ram Jam - “Black Betty”

The Eagles - “One of These Nights”

Meco - “Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band”

Billy Joel - “Honesty”

The Bee Gees - “Tragedy”

Queen - “Stone Cold Crazy”

Chic - “Everybody Dance”

Bread - “Everything I Own”

Olivia Newton John - “A Little More Love”

The Trammps - “Disco Inferno”

Neil Sedaka - “Laughter in the Rain”

Marvin Gaye - “Got to Give It Up”

B.J. Thomas - “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head”

The Village People - “In the Navy”

King Harvest - “Dancing in the Moonlight”

Ohio Players - “Fire”

Nicolette Larson - “Lotta Love”

Main Ingredient - “Everybody Plays the Fool”

Barry White - “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe”

The Kinks - “Everybody’s A Star”

Michael Jackson - “Ben”

Elton John - “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road”

Dionne Warwick & The Spinners - “Then Came You”

Nazareth - “Love Hurts”

Eric Carmen - “All By Myself”

Foreigner - “Hot Blooded”

Bobby Caldwell - “What You Won’t Do For Love”

Foghat - “Slow Ride”

Andy Kim - “Rock Me Gently”

Cheryl Lynn - “Got to Be Real”

Captain & Tennille - “Love Will Keep Us Together”

The Miracles - “Love Machine”

Blondie - “One Way or Another”

Elvin Bishop - “Fooled Around and Fell in Love”

Leo Sayer - “When I Need You”

Little River Band - “Reminiscing”

Hudson Brothers - “So You Are A Star”

Exile - “Kiss You All Over”

Mountain - “Mississippi Queen”

Heat Wave - “Groove Line”

Sugarloaf - “Don’t Call Us (We’ll Call You)”

Hot Butter - “Popcorn”

ABBA - “Mamma Mia”

[mmmmmmygodstopfuckinlying]

Part2

The next dayyyy.

Class started but Rena and Satoshi were nowhere to be seen. Keiichi had already ran through the halls looking for them. Satoshi was probably mad because he forgot about his homework but he had unlocked some new secrets in Mario. He planned to impress Satoshi with them but whatever he guessed.

-they are outside in the woods-

“Soooo Shion had sum makeup in her bag. That’s for u…keiichi has a Bruce Springsteen cd…ewww no thanks!!! Rika had a flask…that’s ours now…mion had some Pizza Hut coupons…lol guess we’re getting a pizza later”

Satoshi had ransacked everyone’s bags and he and Rena emptied their bags to so that it looked like they were also victims. “Omg we have to blame this on satoko”

“Oh also I took all the money as well so we can get some of those clothes at the mall we wer looking at.” Satoshi saw the kewlest sweatshirt. It was from the gap but it was like blue n purple. But it was like 50 bucks. “Girl wait I have an idea. I’m saving the money for something else I know how I can get that sweatshirt”

——later—-

They went back 2 Satoshis house again. Satoko wasn’t home so they went thru her room and looked at her diary: “Dear diary my brother is sooooo mean to me. He is a bully!!!!” Bla bla bla. Lol honestly teppei sucked n deserved to die n so did his aunt. But sometimes he agreed w them n their choices.

“Omg tomorrow we HAVE to bring this to school and like leave it in someone’s desk. It would be funny I think” Rena said

Just then the phone wrang. “Who is this.”

“Hey it’s me Keiichi! Wat r u doing right now?”

He held the phone away from his face. “Rena it’s Keiichi should I tell him to meet me at the mall” and they laughed.

“Hey I couldn’t hear u what did u say?”

“Nothing. What do u want.”

“I was wondering if I could come over n we could play Mario I have 2 show you something”

He held the phone so he and Rena could both hear it. “Yea do ur parents have any alcohol? Maybe u could being that. I’ll let u come over if u do”

“Well…maybe they’ll notice”

“Omg it’s literally not a big deal I used to do it to my uncle all the time. Just full it back with water so it looks like nobody took sum” he rolled his eyes

“Um well ok…I’ll see you soon then I guess”

“Yea don’t forget the alcohol see u later”

Satoshi hung up “We are gonna go get cross faded girl”

They went to his room and hot boxed. He had to to deal w keiichis ass.

30 mins later they heard a knock. Satoshi opened the door “Hey”

“Hey best friend!!! …Wats that smell”

“God you are such a goodie two shoes. Anyway where’s the alcohol” He grabbed it out of keiichis hand. “cool thanks. Come in”

Keiichi walked in and set up the famicom. “This tv is old I don’t even no if I can set this up”

“Are u calling me poor? R u?”

“Um no I didn’t say that. It’s retro that’s kewl”

Rena whispered to Satoshi “He is so dumb I swear to god” “Girl I know right”

“So Keiichi we were thinking of going to the mall tomorrow. Maybe you could come”

“Oh kewl kewl. Yea I’ll come the sports store had this kewl BB gun on sale that I wanted”

“Yeah the Gap had this kewl sweater…it was like 50 bucks tho…so…”

He stared at Keiichi expectantly. He knew he would look sooooo good in this sweater. He wanted to pair it with his acid washed boyfriend jeans n his converses he stole. He bought the jeans JUST so he could pair it with the sweater.

“Hmmm well we could go check it out I guess. Anyway who wants to play Mario”

Rena rolled her eyes “Who wants to fall asleep am I right” Satoshi hip bumped her “Who wants to order a pizza” she said staring at Keiichi

“Yea that sounds good to me guys. Why r u staring at me?”

“Well unfortunately whoever took our bags at school stole all my money so we r wondering if you could get it n we pay you back” Satoshi said blinking his eyelashes “Or do you not like me enough”

“Yeah cool cool. Okay that’s fine…thanks for letting me com over btw”

“Yeah ur welcome. Anyway Rena u gotta see the mag I got at the store today, Debbie gibson is in it” they sat at the table reading the magazine drinking keiichis alcohol.

“Cool I wanna join” Keiichi sat with them.

Satoshi sighed “Cool do u like debbie gibson? Sorry Bruce Springsteen isn’t in this magazine you wouldn’t like it. Anyway Rena this top is so cute, u would look soooo hot in it”

Keiichi tried to join in. “Yea you would look pretty in it. Did u guys catch last nites baseball game?”

“Ummm what kind of loser likes baseball” Satoshi rolled his eyes. Rena and Keiichi both looked at him. Satoshi went back to the magazine n read the astrology section. “My guys look what it says about Geminis this month. Apperantly I am going 2 get rich and get lots of money. Wow that would be nice”

“Wat does it say about Aries” Keiichi didn’t care about girly astrology but he wanted 2 look like he fit in

“It says this month u will feel charitable…hmm that’s nice of u.”

“Wow that’s kewl. Anyway what pizza do we want” they ordered the pizza. Satoshi and Rena started smoking weed again. “Guys what are u doing?” He looked shocked

“I guess what they say is true it’s hip to be square I guess” Rena said smoking the weed and passing it to Keiichi “I thought u wanted to fit in with us.”

“Um ok…”he tried to smoke but he coughed. “why would you wanna do this guys it doesn’t seem very fun”

They showed him how to smoke weed. If he was willing to smoke w them maybe he was a little Kooler than they thot. Keiichi smoked a lot and they thought it would b funny to just let him.

The door bell rang “Keiichi go get it”

It was SHION!!! “OMG what does that ugly ratchet dusty bitch want. Keiichi tell her we went to the mall. Tell her we waited for her but she never showed up n that I’m mad at her”

So he did. “Um why r u at Satoshis house by itself.”

He wanted to answer but he couldn’t think of anything to say “Ummmm well” he was so fucked up he didn’t know what to think “Well his plumbing was messed up so he wanted me 2 look at it for him”

“Whatever just let me in” she pushed her way in “Keiichi are u smoking weed? It’s like I don’t even know U!!!”

Then the pizza came! Keiichi took it

“Keiichi that’s a lot of pizza for just 1 person. Ur sooo high” she laughed at him mockingly “Keiichi why r u listening to Debbie gibson?”

“Ummmm well g2g. Sorry they are at the mall like I said I guess they waited for u”

He shut the door in her face

“Stupid bitch”

He took the pizzas to the other room “She’s so stupid I’m a little sick of her Tbh”

“Omg us too! She thinks she’s all that. Well newsflash…SHE ISNT!!!!” Rena said flipping her hair

“Watever guys let’s just play Mario I guess since Keiichi doesn’t want to have fun.”

They played Mario except Keiichi was so fucked up he couldn’t even play. He was just looking at the screen trying to figure out what path Mario needed to take to jump over the pipe.

“Keiichi what r u doing. U are sooo dumb. Okay let’s prank call people” Satoshi picked up the phone and called the irie clinic.

“Hi is this the irie clinic?”

“Hello yes this is! How can I help you?”

“Oh shit sorry I thought this was the nambla hotline” Satoshi hung up and he and Rena laughed their asses off

“ummm. What’s nambla” Keiichi asked and then laughed his ass off at himself since nobody else seemed to think he was funny

“Keiichi we have soooo much to teach u.” Rena said

They ate the pizza n watched tv. Well maybe Keiichi had friends after all…