#thinking it’s an earlier OS tron

[lordfries]

[aliceslantern]

Heartlines, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 15--Child

Twelve years ago, Xemnas betrayed the royal court of Radiant Garden to his father, Xehanort. Prince Ienzo flees to another city and begins university in the aftermath, hoping the anonymity will protect him from eager eyes with ill intent. The darkness spilling across the country, as well as an individual from his past, cut short Ienzo's new beginning and bring new conflicts to light. Strained between the desires of his magic and his heart, Ienzo's choice will change him forever.

Modern Fantasy AU, Soulmates, Zemyx. Updates Fridays until it's done.

Chapter summary:  Ienzo's pregnancy progresses.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Six months later

“Behind you,” Demyx spat. Ienzo ducked, just barely feeling the droplets of Demyx’s spell against the Heartless.

“Thanks.” Ienzo gathered more magic under his hands. It was easier--more volatile--than ever. “A few more, baby.”

“Are you enjoying this?”

“...I have to cope somehow.” He slashed through the remaining ones in the clearing and brushed the dust off of his hands. “That’s the last of them.” Ienzo’s heart was still racing. He placed a hand on his belly. “What can I say? She’s bloodthirsty.”

Demyx laughed a little. His hand joined Ienzo’s. “She’s really pummeling you.”

“I think it’s the adrenaline. Must feel good.” He gave him a kiss. “Come on. We have to go get ready. You’re going to be late.”

Demyx’s smile faltered. “Does it matter?”

“It’s your college graduation. Of course it matters. I’m so proud of you. Summa cum laude, Demyx, it’s a big deal.”

“...That’s only ‘cause you helped me.”

“Adding a few commas and semicolons into your papers isn’t much.” He took both his hands. “Come on.”

It wasn’t a long walk home from the woods. It had rained earlier that morning, a spring rain that made everything fresh… and muddy. They’d both need a shower before they headed over to the university.

The last few months had made things both more complicated and simpler. It was easier to be pregnant than Ienzo thought, especially once the morning sickness subsided. He had more energy and, yes, more power . He was still able to go to class, simply covering his belly with an illusion; as long as nobody got too close, they wouldn’t be able to know.

While being more powerful attracted more Heartless, it also made his work with Cid easier. They were cracking small parts of Xehanort’s OS, which had allowed them to fell tiny pockets of his in the country, taking back a few small bastions. At least it was progress, and after so much stalemate, it was welcome.

His contact with Ansem, limited as it was, tapered off entirely. Ienzo did not even know if his father knew of his pregnancy, what had happened. All he knew was that one meeting everyone was frantically asking one another where he’d gone. They all had their theories; that he’d been killed, kidnapped, that he was running his own reconnaissance missions. But why would he leave? Why now? It was a question that kept Ienzo up at night.

Ienzo actually had to move his bedroom into the basement, an extra layer of defense against his magic. On top of that… while Demyx still received mail at his old apartment, he stayed over so frequently that he did essentially live there. Once his lease was up in June, it would be permanent. Even just grit his teeth and bore it; it wasn’t as though Ienzo could get doubly pregnant.

It was still odd, to see himself in mirrors, to see his belly and to feel the baby move. He swore he felt  her aura growing. Thinking about her… gave him hope.

Though with the hope was anxiety.

While they seemed to be gaining a little ground against Xehanort, it didn’t seem to be happening quickly enough to offset the harm. On top of this was the stress of oncoming parenthood; he was only barely an adult himself. They didn’t have the things she’d need , and there was only about two more months before she would be born--

Ienzo showered quickly, pulled on a sweater. Demyx was putting on a tie, smoothing the strands of hair out of his face. “You clean up nicely,” he said.

Demyx exhaled. “Not that anyone’s going to see it under that thing.” He gestured to the black robe.

Ienzo touched his arm. “Hey,” he said. “Relax, will you?”

“There are just going to be a lot of people around you.”

“We’ll manage,” he said. “Now get dressed. Come on.”

Ienzo felt as though he were standing in two lives. Aeleus so indulgently let them take a photo or two at Ienzo’s insistence; Demyx’s shock at this (Ienzo hated being in photos, especially pregnant) distracted him enough to comply.

One life was watching his soulmate cross the stage to earn his degree while their child moved gently inside of him.

The other was the fact that he was an extraordinarily powerful prince pregnant with an even more powerful heir, and there were potentially eyes everywhere.

The ceremony ended. The university was offering a lunch for the graduates and their guests, and Ienzo was going to be sure Demyx went and enjoyed every bit of it, especially with his friends. Lea, Riku, and Yuffie had graduated as well in their various fields. And then he was going to make Demyx go to a graduation party, even if it exhausted him, even if he could only drink soda. He deserved at least a little more fun. Finally, Ienzo saw him relax a little, taking selfies and chatting happily with friends.

“How are you feeling?” Kairi asked him, whisper close. Ienzo didn’t look pregnant at this moment in time, but all their friends knew.

“Good. We ran into some Heartless this morning on our walk. She loved every minute of that fight.” He sighed. “Good for her. I have a feeling there will be a whole lot more fighting.”

She squeezed his hand. “I’m glad to see you, though.”

“I wasn’t going to miss this. He deserves it.”

“Yeah. He does.” She hummed happily and led him back over to the table. “So I’ve been working with Aqua, and we’re wondering if there might be a way to help restore Heartless to their previous selves with my power.”

His eyebrows shot up. “That’s--”

“I know. Could be a game changer. We just… gotta find a safe place to capture some, that’s all.”

“Tell me what I can do to help.”

“I will--if anything happens.”

The day eddied on happily, uneventfully. Quietly. For this, Ienzo was glad. Demyx finally seemed to be feeling some of the pride and excitement he should’ve had all day. Dinner nearly over, Ienzo had to excuse himself to find a restroom. The corridor was markedly silent when he left, almost uncomfortably so; he tensed. He almost thought he saw something moving, but nothing came of it; swallowing this fear, he returned to the table and his friends.

---

Demyx started looking for work in earnest. He’d had to take a test to be a fully certified teacher; Ienzo had helped him study, getting… creative, with the rewards. (He was infinitely glad Demyx was not uncomfortable having sex with him while he was pregnant.) He was able to tutor some students in their homes. It felt almost like they were waiting for the other shoe to drop, even as they bought some things for their baby.

As much as Cid would let him, Ienzo worked with Tron. The work was not physically draining, but still the man was worried about him being unconscious so long with the baby. It felt as though they were making more small gains. Cid unencrypted whatever they were able to pull and passed it to Even, who studied voraciously.

More time passed… Ienzo felt himself getting heavier and heavier, his power more unstable. Once he was doing dishes, and the baby kicked him, and everything breakable in the sink shattered. Aeleus just rested a gentle hand on his back and began to pick the broken bits out of the sink.

Heartless hunted him more mercilessly now, even with Demyx around. Aerith and Aqua reinforced the wards on the townhouse. It only helped so much. The baby was growing only stronger as the pregnancy progressed.

Ienzo knew he would not be giving birth in a hospital. It was simply too much risk.

“Shouldn’t we get me out of the city entirely?” Ienzo asked. “Away from… people?”

Even nodded. “Quite. Aerith was kind enough to lend us her cottage again. She’s also a skilled healer, so you’ll be in good hands. I know your work with Cid is important… but as soon as is safe to do so, we should leave.”

Demyx squeezed Ienzo’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.”

One of these days in early summer, Even took him aside. “Have you… done any reading, into what the birth will be like?”

He raised an eyebrow. “I know how children are born, Even.” Ienzo sighed; he was feeling breathless, the baby pressing against his lungs. “I… I’m afraid I haven’t had much time, between my work, and the Heartless.”

He shook his head. “It’ll be different for you,” he said. “Not just the… intense release of magic when she’s born, but the labor will be…” He thought a moment. “Historically, very short.”

“Isn’t that good?” He’d tried not to think about the actual process too much, but it was getting to be time.

“Very brief, but… incredibly painful.”

He scoffed. “Of course.”

“Moreso than for most humans. Her aura has to separate from yours.”

“Would anesthetics help?”

“I’ve been looking into it. I’m hoping that I can make something which will make it easier for you.”

“...Yet, not an answer to my question.”

Even scowled. “I can ease physical pain. I’m not sure what can be done about the magical pain.” A sigh, then his expression grew wistful. “In another world this would be a time of joy, of celebration, of ritual. Your mother would be by your side… or your father. You’d labor in a warm bath with flowers and herbs… and not have to worry about monsters striking you at your most vulnerable.”

“...And I would be ten or fifteen years older, and ready for such a thing.” Ienzo rested his hand on his belly. “Part of me wonders… if he found out, and then… fled. I know this is merely… my hormonal brain, doing the talking. But…”

“You have doubts. He hasn’t been part of your life in a while. That’s natural.” He offered a small smile. “It will be difficult, I won’t lie. But we’ll help you.” Ienzo ran his fingers along the bump, feeling the baby press against it. “Well. Too late to back out now.”

“...Quite.”

---

But nothing went as expected.

He was thirty-eight weeks into this pregnancy now, the magic so volatile he can barely do anything without unanticipated consequences. They were gathering their things to leave for the seaside and had just sat for a late lunch. Ienzo had been unusually hungry all day; he’d eaten two grilled cheese sandwiches and was considering asking for a third.

“I’ll be glad, to get away,” he murmured, tracing his finger through the crumbs. The baby kicked him restlessly, and he stroked her.

“I’m excited to meet her,” Demyx said, taking his hand. “Though I already know what she looks like.”

“Yes… unfortunately, she was always predetermined to look more like me. You’d have better luck with the second one.”

He snorted. “Second one? We have to survive this one first.”

Ienzo smiled. “Well. If the Forecast is true… then there will be time for that in the future.”

Demyx kissed his palm. “More? You demolished that last one.”

He exhaled. “Yes. Thank you.”

Demyx took his plate back over to the counter, pulled out the bread and cheese.

And Ienzo felt a cramp.

It wasn’t intense, insofar as these things go, but it was most definitely not one of the practice cramps he’d had. A cramp, and then a warm trickling between his legs, pattering softly on the floor.

Demyx’s eyes were wide, terrified, his skin pale. “ Please tell me that’s pee.”

Panic made it hard to breathe. “I wish it were.”

Demyx grabbed the roll of paper towels and began wiping it up. Ienzo could hear him breathing heavily. “Don’t move,” he said. “I’ll… I’ll get Even.”

The accused breezed into the kitchen. “What do you need me for?” He saw their terrified expressions, Ienzo’s wet clothing. Then he, too, went pale for a moment. “Oh. Oh, child.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t suppose… we can get there in time.”

Even just shook his head. “Not unless you want to give birth in the backseat of the car.”

“What do we do?” Demyx asked.

He thought a moment. “We get Ienzo clean and comfortable. We call however many magic users are willing to come. And then we… manage. I’m a doctor; I’ve delivered babies. I think I can handle delivering yours.”

Another cramp, more painful than the last, had him gasping. Ienzo could feel her shifting inside of him, down. “We’re not ready ,” he hissed through his teeth. “We don’t have any… any diapers, or bottles, or… storybooks.”

Demyx knelt next to him and took his hand, not so much as flinching when Ienzo squeezed it hard. “We’ll be okay.” He helped him gently to his feet. The two of them brought him downstairs into the basement. Shakily, Ienzo took off his wet clothing, slid on his thin white cotton robe. A third contraction had him gasping and clinging to Demyx.

“I knew it would be fast,” he gasped. “But that couldn’t have been more than… five minutes…”

Even came up and down the stairs with pillows, towels, plastic sheeting to protect the mattress. Medical supplies. The things they’d intended to take to the cottage. Demyx lit a few candles, sang softly to him. This seemed to be the only thing that eased the pain at all.

“She must like that,” Ienzo said dazedly. Time was moving weirdly; all of a sudden there was a basin of water on his dresser, and Demyx was dabbing his forehead with a wet cloth. He was vaguely aware of people poking their heads in, Aeleus saying that so-and-so had arrived and was reinforcing the wards at the property line. The rest of him was focused on the gristle knot of pain that threatened to tear him in two.

“Can’t we give him something?” Demyx asked.

“I don’t have anything body safe that will help.”

He was eased back gently onto the pillows. “How long has it been?” He barely sounded like himself.

“A little under four hours,” Even said.

“Really? Already?” And yet it felt like an eternity. “I’m so… thirsty.”

“You can have some ice.”

Demyx handed him a cup of ice chips one of them must have made. He didn’t think it was possible to feel this much pain. “She’s coming,” Ienzo said.

“I know.”

“I’m having our baby.”

“I know. And you’re handling it like a champ.” Then, in a lower voice, “is he supposed to be this out of it?”

“Considering he’s currently in more pain than a person can physically perceive? He’s much more lucid than his mother was.”

The next cramp was so intense he nearly screamed. Demyx rubbed his shoulders, brushed the sweaty hair out of his face. “Where am I?” Ienzo asked.

“In your bedroom.”

“No, I mean…” He grit his teeth, choking on another contraction. “The dilation, where is it?”

Even checked. “Nine centimeters. Nearly time to push.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know, love. But we’ve got you. Demyx, help me turn him onto his side.”

“His… side?”

Even made an exasperated noise. “Poor thing’s in enough pain without forcing him to give birth on his back. Goes completely against the shape of the birth canal.”

Ienzo could barely move on his own. He felt so dreadfully exposed.

“Can you support his left leg?”

Feeling the calluses of Demyx’s hands on his skin was a cold comfort. The cramping, if anything, grew more violent; he felt his mouth open in a small O of pain. He heard the snap of gloves as Even put on a clean pair, and then more intense than the pain was the pressure , moving downwards. “I feel--”

“Do you want to push, Ienzo?”

The soft candlelight made everything hazy. “I… I think so…”

“Go ahead. Go on, love.”

Ienzo looked at Demyx, and for just a moment everything was perfectly clear. Demyx touched his sweaty face. “You can do this.”

“I can do this. Right.” He took a deep breath. When the next pain seized him, the next wave of pressure, instead of being pummeled by it, he tried to ride it, what it was telling him. He could feel more acutely the magical fracturing, his daughter’s energy beginning to rip from his, to tear.

“Good, Ienzo. Keep going.”

It was exhausting, the agony threatening to reach a fever pitch; he thought he might faint--

“Remember to breathe.”

He realized he hadn’t been, and the blackness retreated--

“It’s okay, Ienzo. Again. It’ll be over soon.”

The rest of his body felt limp, strange. The pain gutted him, rose and burrowed and rose--

“She’s crowning, Ienzo, she’s almost here--”

“Whoa, I can see her head.”

The agony swallowed him whole, pulling against his whole being , his magic shredding--

No, wait, don’t go--

And he felt her pull free.

The pain eased so suddenly he wasn’t sure if it had ever been there, replaced by a strange… almost pleasure , a warmth soothing his stomach, his vagina. He flopped onto his back and sagged weakly against Demyx, breathing hard. The magic was loud, was everywhere--

“She’s here, Ienzo. She’s here.” He thought he saw Even smiling.

His daughter was placed against his chest and he grasped at her, cradling her bloody head. Demyx kissed his cheek, her head. She gasped and cried-- “Oh, god. Oh, my god. Hi. Hello.”

A snip of scissors against the umbilical cord. The snip brought him fully back to his senses, to the baby in his arms. “Welcome back,” Even said softly.

“The magic--” It was all around them, making things almost purplish, faint flickers of light popping around the room.

“Don’t worry about that. You’re not quite done here. Demyx, take the baby, please.”

Demyx wrapped her gently in a towel and took her into his own arms. Ienzo saw his eyes and knew he had fallen in love.

Compared to the rest of it, delivering the placenta was easy; almost, in fact, pleasant, though Ienzo had heard stories that this was the most painful part. Even disposed of it quickly. “You’re already healing,” he said softly. “You’ll be alright in a few days, I’m sure of it.”

He let his legs ease down and lay back more fully against the pillows. Demyx was cradling her, singing softly in a language Ienzo did not recognize.

“Let me tell the others the good news,” Even said. He took off his gloves. Ienzo could see the pride in his eyes. He kissed Ienzo’s sweaty forehead. “You rest a moment. I’ll get you some water.”

Demyx perched next to him on the bed. He’d wiped the fluids off her. Sure enough, Ienzo could see the soft tuft of violet-silver hair. “You did awesome ,” he said.

“It seems my body has some kind of natural… painkiller. It no longer hurts at all.” In fact, even the sweat-soaked sheets felt good against his skin. “Could I--” Demyx eased her gently into his arms. Ienzo kissed her. He felt tears rush to his eyes, hot. “Oh,” he said softly.

Demyx took one of her tiny fists into his hand. “I know. I… can’t believe it. We made this. You made this.”

“I hope we made the right decision.”

“...I think we did.”

[sandpillar]

hey briar! i adore your music taste fr i was wondering if you have any favourite albums or stuff youd recommend? doesnt have to be around any specific genre, just love your taste

hope you don't mind me making this reply public. my music taste is all over the place and i have very different "phases" where i get into a specific genre/scene and it's the only thing i listen to for months... and honestly i'm not sure i can introduce you to an artist you don't already know. that said!

ruth white is a pioneer whose work i enjoy immensely. flowers of evil is darker and even more experimental than her other albums, but 7 trumps from the tarot cards and pinions comes very close. she also has an album of classical music rendered digitally called short circuits and it's so so good.

wendy carlos had a similar project, switched-on bach, that's also worth a listen! isao tomita's rendition of holst's planets suite is another early electronic masterpiece. i only really know about these because of eilish, a very good friend of mine whose music i adore, especially her latest album (it’s pay-what-you-want on bandcamp!)- her long-standing interest in the early days of synthesizers is very clearly reflected in her music.

i've only just discovered puce mary, but apparently she's a household name in industrial/noise/whatever you want to call it music. i do think ruth white influenced her - the line "when the low heavy sky presses onto you like a lid", the subdued monotone, the fractured droning... the drought, her 2018 album, definitely feels like a marriage between flowers of evil and a throbbing gristle album. insanely good. pharmakon is a similar artist with a more guttural sound, her bestial burden knocked me out. it's like musical body horror.

everyone's heard of daughters' you won't get what you want by now and for good reason! it's one of my favorite albums, ever. i can't listen to ocean song without a chill running down my spine. their 2010 self titled is also really good, but can't really get into their earlier stuff.

sliding more into rock, anything by idles is really good punk; joy as an act of resistance is what introduced me to them and i think it's a very good first impression! lunachicks are a trip and luxury problem is so so fun. my favorite rock band ever is screaming females - nothing beats marissa paternoster's songwriting, voice and guitar skills. all at once was the album of the decade for me. i'm also embarassingly into hole, though everything besides celebrity skin and live through this is a miss for me. sheena ringo is also really good! her latest album is a good entry point to her extensive career as it's a collection of new tracks and rerecordings of more classic songs.

on more electronic music, vessel, amnesia scanner and against all logic are artists i find myself coming back to, especially their albums punish honey, another life and 2017-2019, respectively. i discovered tsuzing literally today and i'm in love with 東方不敗 (undefeated east, maybe?), his 2017 album. caterina barieri is an artist i’m just now getting into, but i already really like ecstatic computation. i also like “hyperpop” types like 100 gecs, 4s4ki and dorian electra. i'm sorry.

since i've started studying japanese i've been trying to listen to more japanese musicians and i came across うたかたの日々 (utakata no hibi, days in the form of music(?)), which is this 1983 album by musician/project (information is sparse) mariah that features armenian vocals - i haven't heard anything like it. yumi matsutoya is also really good, though not as experimental, especially the dancing sun and 天国のドア (heaven's door).

on the pop side of things - rina sawayama is one of the only current pop girls i find interesting... she feels a lot like what marina & the diamonds was trying to do back in the day; she's a relative outsider to the music industry coming in fully aware of the mythology surrounding pop singers. but her approach is very different - where marina always had a wink and a nudge to let you know she wasn't really buying what she was selling, rina seems to pay genuine homage to the genre. her debut, sawayama, feels like a pilgrimage through pop and it's full of absolute bangers. it's a tragedy that the clubs closed just as it came out...

couldn't really fit these anywhere, but: fiona apple, pj harvey, carne doce, vitor ramil, infected mushroom, kate bush, lorn, genghis tron, novos baianos, naomi elizabeth, tierra whack, sophie, cocteau twins, elza soares, rammstein, huszar, sunn o))), os mutantes, roisin murphy, bedouine, sickboy, ana frango elétrico, xiu xiu... so many artists i'm either always listening to or have been listening to lately. this is huge and i probably left something out LOL i'd love to get your recommendations too!! i love your taste as well and i really enjoy listening to new music