#thinking i'll either use a sylvan esso track or a half alive track bc those bands have been where my mood has been

[brockachu]

i said yesterday on twitter (and i guess i wanna express the sentiment here as well b/c idk it explains how i approach ~all this~) that how i experience hockey is like this:

i consume hockey the way howl swallowed the shooting star. i see these beautiful, funny, bizarre little threads of narratives skipping across the surface of the nhl fandom landscape and i shove them down my throat and hold them deep in my chest. and at the very least it gives me a way to feel my feelings (because not all my hockey feelings are entirely about hockey, not most of my hockey feelings are entirely about hockey; not most of anyone's feelings are entirely about where or what they're expressing them through. humans transmute things. it's what we do)

and sometimes, if the lil creature that ate my heart & came out of my chest has been satisfied, the star bits i swallowed get to become something fun -- video edits, fic, memes, photoshops, doodles, fanart, or even just me shooting the shit and sharing ideas & opinions

idk if y'all need to understand that about me or how i hockey blog. but expressing it this way is helping me puzzle myself out