#thinking abt how his moustache would tickle when he kisses you-

[kabra-malvada]

Your honor that is my wife.

[sammys-magical-au]

ooooo i wanna hear about your gunther/mack/burt throuple headcanons!!!!!

(Anon I just wanna say thank you so much for sending me this ask it made me very happy 🥹)

Obviously there’s a lot of poems involved - mostly written by Burt but Gunther and Mack have both attempted it a couple of times. Gunther quickly found out that writing is definitely not a skill he has but surprisingly Mack has a way with words too

Mack is literally always the little spoon. Always. The best cuddle sessions for him are when he’s sandwiched in between Burt and Gunther, bc my boy is severely touch starved

Lots of kissing. Like legit so much kissing. And neck kisses from Burt will always melt both Mack and Gunther bc y’know. Big bushy moustache. Plus it’s soft so it probably feels really nice on the nape of the neck ☺️

Gunther is such a protective boyfriend, but he also worries the most out of the three of them. The one time the rest of the crew saw their head of defence reduced to literal tears was when he woke up one morning to find Burt missing and he was so distraught thinking about what might’ve happened to him he burst into sobs when Mark gave him a shoulder pat to reassure him

Btw Gunther’s love language is 100% touch and he gives the best hugs, but he’s kinda shy abt it bc he’s trying to keep up the “macho” persona and look tough. Thing is, he loves holding people/being held so much that that’s why Mark touching his shoulder made him cry when he was worried about Burt

Mack loves alien biology and is constantly infodumping on Burt and Gunther, who sit and listen happily to his ecstatic ramblings about the cool flower he found in the woods behind their cabin

Burt is definitely the one who wakes up at 3 am to ask “would y’all still love me if I was a worm?”

Mack has a ridiculously adorable laugh. Plus he’s really ticklish, and Gunther and Burt are both stronger than him. I’m only a little ashamed to admit I lost sleep last night thinking about tickle fights between the three of them with Gunther grinning like a fucking maniac as he tickles Mack while Burt holds his arms and whispers sweet nothings into his ear from behind that Mack can’t even really hear over his own laughter 🫣🫣

Idk if I can see them ever having kids but if they did they’d be rlly good dads 🥺 Gunther would be the protective dad who teaches them how to fight and everything about guns n stuff, and probably also the fun dad who lets them do dangerous shit their other two dads wouldn’t approve of. Mack would probably be the stricter dad, usually the one who has to say no to things when Burt and Gunther say yes/can’t say no. Burt is the lenient dad, and probably the one who encourages them to value the arts

^ bonus points for this one if the Captain becomes the grandparent bc I mentioned b4 that Mack sees them as a parental figure

Also, Burt has a lovely singing voice. Mack does too but he’s usually way too shy to sing. Gunther can belt out a song at the drop of a hat (especially if he’s drunk), even though he’s utterly tone deaf and his singing voice is horrid enough to drive the local alien fauna away for a few hours. Gunther does not care about this.

Gunther and Burt both snore. Loudly. But fortunately Mack is a really heavy sleeper and it doesn’t bother him - in fact he didn’t even realize his boyfriends’ snoring was a problem until Celci approached him and demanded to know how the fuck he can sleep at night with that racket, since she’d slept in the Captain’s cabin the previous night (👀) and been woken up several times by the noise since it was a warm night and they’d slept with the window open (Celci’s a light sleeper tho and usually finds it hard to get to sleep anyway. Definitely not something I can relate to ahaha… 🫠)

Gunther still has Comet, his pet bearded dragon, who was very helpful in alleviating Mack’s mild fear of reptiles, although Gunther still has to hide Comet whenever Celci comes over. Some people can’t be swayed even by Comet’s charms

Ofc they’re all some form of polyamorous, but in addition Gunther is bisexual, Mack is pansexual, and Burt is demisexual

Additionally, their favourite colors are literally the pan flag (Gunther likes blue, Mack likes pink, Burt likes yellow)

I actually did not realize how extensive the brainrot was until making this post ummm