#thinking about this edit again 🫠

[thevelaryons]

WILLING LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER

Body of Water - Florence Welch // Wings of Fire: Darkness of Dragons, Tui T. Sutherland // VBS - Lucy Dacus // Fire & Blood, George R.R. Martin // My Dark Vanessa, Kate Elizabeth Russell // rollercoasterwords // unknown // Phantom Pain by Caitlin Conlon // Feeling Blue by Katy Tackes // Mike Townsend (Knows What He's Gotta Do) - The Garages // Eldest Daughter - Isabel Pless // The Collected Stories, Matthew Ward

[taegimood]

kitty or shark hybrid tyun thoughts pleasepleasepleaseplease

i already had kitty tyun in the works so you read my mind but omg SHARK TYUN ???!!!! i know we literally just talked abt this on discord but i never thought abt how it would actually work… i’ve never thought about marine hybrids before 🤔 would he need water ??? reverse sandy cheeks LMFAO but no the predatory aspect mmmmm we should talk abt this later

edit this is longer and kind of turned into more of actual writing (??) than the soobin one ugh sorry i’m so inconsistent i’m ekwkndndkfk almost don’t even wanna post it BUT ANYWAY ,,,,,

next on my agenda: cat hybrid!taehyun !!

cat hybrid!taehyun with perky dark brown ears that nearly blend in with his hair, and a sleek tail to match. he’d be reserved when you first bring him home, but not shy or nervous like soobin; taehyun would be cool, collected, on his guard but in a way that lets you know he still sees himself as one in control.

at first it would seem like he really couldn’t care less about your presence in the apartment; quickly getting comfortable enough to make it his own, but apparently you weren’t included in that sentiment, judging from the way he’d just side-eye you before carrying on with whatever he was doing as his only form of acknowledgement every time you attempt an interaction 🫠

it makes you nervous; was this the right decision? will we ever form a bond? little do you know… muehuehue

you knew that cat hybrids were notoriously hit or miss in terms of how affectionate or independent they’d turn out to be, but i mean come on — taehyun acts as though he doesn’t even need you at all !!

imagine the first time you try to pet his ears, him flattening them and immediately swatting your hand away to shrink back with a scowl; the way your stomach would drop as you quickly start to apologize 😭 but he’s already stalking away into the next room like a grumpy grouch >:(

it’s not that taehyun hates you or anything, it’s just that he doesn’t like his personal space invaded — or at least, that’s what he thinks at first, but more on that later 👀

him hearing you crying in your room one night cuz you’re just so frustrated and sad :(( wanting to build a happy comfortable life for him but he’s not even letting you try and you don’t know what you’re doing wrong 🥺 that’s the first time he’d feel a little twinge in his chest, an unfamiliar emotion that he can’t quite place as he finds himself wanting to… comfort you? hmm.. he decides that he doesn’t like this strange new feeling and continues on to his room instead.

but the next day you’d be shocked when you’re on the couch and he actually comes and…. sits.. in the same.. room.. as you ???? someone call oprah ✋🏼

he’d silently situate himself in the armchair away from the couch, opening up his book an educated mf and starting to read without a single word as you sit there gaping at him like 👁️👄👁️ not having any clue that this is his way of offering a small bridge for the gap you’re even a little suspicious tbh LOL but you get so excited regardless and even though you try to hide it, his sharp senses are quick to notice the change in your demeanor.

also you keep glancing over at him like every 10 seconds so that’s kind of a giveaway in itself

after that you’d begin to notice little things that he’d start to do that make you realize you need to let him be the one to decide when to come to you, when you’re allowed to touch him, etc — and honestly you’re just grateful to be making progress.

you’d be on the phone with a friend one day when they start asking about your new hybrid, taehyun’s ears perking up from the kitchen; (you glance over to see his head poking out and his boba eyes sparkling with interest before he catches you looking and instantly scowls, feigning indifference as he disappears again 😭😭 your heart clenching at the cuteness..)

him listening intently as you talk about him, surprised as you even defend him when your friend makes a comment about the cat hybrid stereotypes — “he’s not ‘hellish’ in the slightest. he’s been very good. he just likes his space, that’s all.”

but his favorite part of all would be when they ask you about his breed, what he looks like, etc; his chest swelling with pride as he hears you talk about how handsome he is, how strong and lithe he seems to be, and he finds a purr escaping from his throat at the praise as you boast about him.

after that, even more progress seems to be made; like him randomly coming up to you one day with an extra bit of his food in hand as he places it in front of you and says, “i brought this for you.” and walking away again before you can respond 💀

with how put-together he always seems, you’re finally starting to see how cat-like he truly is the more he opens up to you ❤️‍🩹

he starts speaking to you more often too, his voice a pleasant surprise to you; smooth and even-toned, inducing a bit of a blush from you whenever there’s a slight rasp or purr caught at the end of a phrase.

he perplexes you at first with how blunt or monotoned he can be, but you learn to read him better as time goes on, learn to understand his subtle undertones, and each flick of his ears or swish of his tail.

you’ve also learned that he can be won over with certain treats and presents… which ends up leading to the mess you’ve found yourself in now.

when you decided to buy a bunch of catnip, thinking it would be nice to bake him some desserts with it every now and then, you didn’t think you’d have to go out of your way to hide the stuff. since you brought him home taehyun has never acted out much aside from the occasional swipe of something off the edge of the counter when he’s bored; but he never scratches up your furniture or makes a mess of the apartment, so imagine your shock when you come home from a late shift one night to find your kitchen absolutely ransacked.

drawers and cabinets thrown open and their contents scattered everywhere, kitchen towels shredded to bits, and for a minute you’re terrified that someone broke in or something.. until you realize what you’re looking at.

catnip is strewn EVERYWHERE.

the tub of it fallen open on the floor has you gaping as your eyes follow the trail of it, from the cabinet taehyun must have smelled it from, to where it then spilled across the counter, before being knocked to the floor and.. rolled in??

with a start you suddenly realize that it’s too quiet.

taehyun is never one to come and greet you at the door, but this time, something feels.. different.

which is why you nearly jump out of your skin when you turn to go and look for him, ready to call out his name, only to find him standing in the entrance of the kitchen already watching you.

he’s so quiet that you didn’t even hear him approach and you’re convinced that in another life he would’ve made a great vampire or something.. taehyun salvatore has a nice ring to it iykyk

“holy shit, kitty, you scared me! why are you lurking like that? what the hell happened in.. here...”

your voice trailing off as you actually take in the sight of him and….

taehyun’s chest rising and falling at a quicker rate than usual, normally neat hair all tousled out of place, tail swishing sharply back and forth behind him, ears twitching — you meet his eyes and swallow hard. he’s never looked at you like this before.

his pupils are blown wide and taking in every inch of you, roaming over your body before locking onto your gaze, as if he’s looking straight into you, hyper-focused; silent and still and.…

predatory.

there’s a crackling tension in the air as something flickers in his eyes.

before you can process the speed that he moves forward with you’re being pushed against the kitchen counter with his body flush against yours, radiating heat as he rolls his hips, rubbing his face into your neck as a deep, growl-like purr reverberates in your ear.

you gasp, thighs pressing together instinctively, his tongue licking a rough stripe up to your jaw as he growls, “whose scent is this?”, and you barely even have time to remember the new coworker that he must be smelling let alone the time to answer him before he’s mouthing at your neck, muttering, “doesn’t matter.. i’ll just have to scent you myself.”

his tail curls around your waist and you inhale at the slight prickle of his sharp canines as he smirks against your throat;

“have to let him know that you’re mine.”

you don’t know how you got here, bent over the kitchen table as your previously aloof hybrid pounds you from behind, licking and biting at your shoulder and neck as he purrs roughly in your ear, your pussy clenching hard around his thick cock as he tugs your hair to bring your head up into a scorching kiss; whatever insane energy high that catnip gave him was all being released onto you right now, and you really can’t complain.. nor can you even remember whatever guilt you may have felt since at this point he’s fucked it right out of you.

he’d be telling you how your scent belongs to him, how no one else can have you like this; this sudden possessiveness coming out of seemingly no where, baffling you with the whiplash of taehyun’s deeper feelings coming out.

(feelings that he honestly didn’t even realize he had himself until that catnip got him good)

he’d so be the type to act completely nonchalant about it all the next day, to the point where you’d just about convince yourself that you went crazy and dreamed it all up until he’d do something to show you that no, you definitely did not.

standing at the sink washing dishes after lunch, lost in your swirling thoughts, when he’d come up behind you to place his own dish in the sink — chest ghosting against your back as he leans in just close enough for you to feel his smirk against one of the many love bites littered across your neck. quickly turning to face him but he’s already walking away, casually and without another glance in your direction;

later you’d be tidying up the apartment when he’d walk by you and his tail would curl sneakily around your waist, trailing over your ass as he passes by..

but it’s the last straw for you when you’re sitting on a conference call and taehyun slinks into the room, eyeing your computer, and you can already see the wheels turning in his head at the sound of your male coworkers going over their part of an example presentation.

your eyes widen marginally as his narrow — lip curling as he quickly deduces that one of them must be yesterday’s icky scent culprit — and you give him a stern warning look that he only ignores with a sly smile as he approaches where you’re sitting, your breath catching in your throat as he suddenly gets on his knees between your legs, just out of sight of the camera.

you’re about to mute your mic and ask him what the hell he’s doing when you hear your name being called from the screen, quickly averting your attention to answer your coworker’s question, when you feel the tip of taehyun’s claw begin to trace up your inner thigh.. ohhh boy you’re done for.

you’d be panicking as he’d tease his way under your skirt, flipping it up to reveal your panties that he’d so easily push aside, your voice coming out in a squeak when you try to continue talking as he nuzzles his face into your cunt.

trying to deter him by pushing his head away, but that only spurs him on more at the feeling of your fingers brushing past his mischievously twitching ears; your coworkers asking you if everything’s alright as the sudden warmth of taehyun’s tongue against your pussy sends a rush of electricity through you in the form of a choked-out moan that you can only disguise as a cough.

having to sit through the rest of your meeting as your naughty hybrid meticulously eats you out, his shameless rumbling purrs sending vibrations through your core while he laves at your juices, smug eyes glittering up at you the entire time as you try your absolute hardest not to squirm and moan.

it’s so filthy, so obscene, and he’s got you so so close to the point where you have no choice but to feign sickness and quickly hang up the call with reddened cheeks and labored breaths.

but taehyun pulls away immediately and you give a sharp whine before you can stop yourself.

you can see the satisfaction in his eyes as he poorly feigns indifference poorly on purpose ofc and states, “i’m bored,” with a move to stand up — but you’ve had enough of his teasing.

“nuh uh,” you breathe, your hand in his hair pulling him back in with a surprised little trill as your need to cum overpowers your conscience.

“finish what you started.”

and he’s more than happy to oblige as that same flicker from last night returns to his eyes, yanking you towards his waiting mouth as he ravishes your pussy with even more vigor than before.

“taehyun, y-you’ve been such a… bad.. k-kitty…”

and he eats it right up, the both of you knowing who really seems to be in control here despite your scolding words as you lose yourself on his tongue.

coming apart easily not once but twice before he finally sits back on his heels, licking the wetness from his lips and observing your spent form in satisfaction;

from then on it’s decided that taehyun does like his new owner after all, quick to jealousy but even quicker to remind you that you’re his; who’s the real owner here, to be honest? 🤔

and he even comes to realize that - you know what? - curling up with you for cuddles and head scratches really isn’t so bad after all. he could definitely get used to this ❤️‍🩹

my dom!taehyun agenda knows no bounds i couldn’t stop myself womp

also this feels to me like it had a much different vibe from the soobin one as in like a lot less detailed even tho it’s longer…? idk but later i wanna post more than just one thing for each member anyway so

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Thots of Matt eating reader out after she just shaved??🤭

love the way you think🫠

wrote this late last night, so not sure if all coherent - maybe just rambling brain rot. too lazy to edit it rn

matt murdock x fem!reader, mdni (18+ only!!)

aaaa so okay SO!!1

firstly I gotta say, and I quote forever and always, matt is a pussy eating fiend !! he don't care what you got, he's gonna eat. got a 70's bush? he's gonna chow down. haven't had time to clean yourself up beforehand? again, he's gonna gobble you up. he may have a preference (bc of his senses etc) - but he doesn't let that be known

BUT?? there's something just so addictive about eating you out after you just shaved, when you're all soft and smooth and silky - folds and pubic bone velvety to the touch and free of hair

I feel like it would be even more satisfying and enjoyable for him than usual, and he may even forget about getting you off. like the way your soft folds feel when he sucks them into his mouth, or simply just how good your pussy feels on his tongue

he would take all the time just leisurely licking you out, soft, pleased groans and moans muffling between your thighs - fingers digging into that crease, holding you still to his face. he'd be slow and teasing with it, changing things up without realising - unintentionally edging you. one minute, his tongue would be curled up into your pussy, tongue barely poking inside of you. the other he's on your clit, flicking over it. the next, he's sucking on it. the time after that, licking faint stripes up your slit

he also pays attention to other parts of your body without acknowledging it. maybe he trails kisses between your very inner thighs, spreading soft, open-mouth kisses over your heated skin - giving your poor, sensitive pussy a small time-out. his hands comfortingly stroking down your sides as if to reinforce his love for you

he also def reaches up to cup your tits when he eats you out, just saying ! just him extending his hands up to knead and squeeze them, as if to ground himself from his almost painful hard-on.. WHICH he has most definitely rubbed against the mattress a few times

more thots bc I can't help myself. but he doesn't let you get away, no matter how much you protest and push his head away - all you need to say is that small little word and it will immediately seize his movements. but you won't say it bc you don't actually want him to stop.. and he knows that 

maybe he likes it when you get just shy of overstimulation, when you're moments away from tapping out. when you crush his head with your spasming thighs, or when you make those strangled and choked moans, or when you're just twitching and jolting against his face, or when your grip in his hair tightens, or when you shimmy up the bed, or when your cry half of his name in a breathy whine, or when you cream on his tongue 

lastly, mr. matt murdock isn't about waste around here, so he never wastes a drop !! !! drinks you all up !! EVERYTHING !! since he can't see the messy state of your pussy after, instead, he runs his first two fingers over you - feeling the slippery and soft and puffy, soaked folds coated in spit and arousal. smearing everything around with A COCKY GRIN SLAPPED ON HIS FACE - feeling the literal mess he made of you

also also, he snogs you after to make you taste yourself 🫨

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

[shotanzz]

I wish you would do a full post dedicated to toxicity or angsty shortcomings in relationships with the boys 🫠 I loved reading the toxic head canons ❤️

angst hurts my heart but !!

RIIZE RED FLAGS based on astrology~

hyung line edition ❗️

reminder this is based off of MY opinions of their birth chart placements + aspects and is not exact fact unless I knew them myself and I am not a professional astrologer

Shotaro

Vague - not exactly a red flag but he cares a lot about the things going on within his personal life but sometimes he might prefer to keep things to himself due to paranoia of how his s/o will react or if they’d use it against him..he might have a fear of betrayal that can make him be pretty vague and unable to tell his s/o a lot of things in regards to him which can feel secretive to someone who wants a relationship with open info

Intense - His Scorpio moon paired with his Cap venus leads to a need for loyalty as well as his moon/mercury aspect making him very observant of your words and even remembering things you said a longgg time ago which can be overwhelming and feel even persecuting to some. He might also be paranoid in the relationship of cheating or disloyalty.

Coldness- When he's upset he might have a tendency to be cold yet indirect. He has a scorpio mercury and when upset or protecting themselves they can say things that really hurt or could be pretty cutting. He also has a libra mars so he'd be pretty passive aggressive or indirect with his upset.

Eunseok

Nonchalant- (reminder that nonchalant means that a person cares but acts in a way that suggests indifference/disinterest) He can sometimes be too nonchalant and can make someone overall feel as though he has no passion in the relationship when really he does but just doesn't think you have to be lovey dovey 24/7 or he cant express his passion super well as times

Outburst- Eunseok has a cap moon and moon/saturn aspects paired with a mutable mars so he doesn't express his emotions well or bottles them up which can lead to him getting triggered at random and having a spontaneous outburst out of NOWHEREEE due to suppressed feelings which can be super problematic to some

Insensitive- it’s not on purpose or with malicious intent but Eunseok can sometimes not realize that though a situation isn’t a big deal to him to someone else it might be, he also can forget the more subjective side of things which can accidentally hurt peoples feelings

Sungchan

Sensitive - His pride is high and his reaction to things may be 3x more dramatic than the actual event that happened. When he's been hurt emotionally (whether it was intentional or not) he has a hard time letting go of what happened and might even give a silent treatment until he feels you've shown remorse.

Insecure - He cares a lot about what other people think of him and that can bleed into his relationships. He might act one way in public but another way in private which can make his words/actions seem insincere or disingenuous.

Internal struggles- Has a hard time balancing his feminine side and masculine side and what I mean is he is someone super emotional and feels his emotions very deeply but might try to cover that side of him up with a masculine facade which can bring tension.

Wonbin

Avoidance - He might refuse to acknowledge the red flags or obvious shortcomings/problems in the relationship or himself and may take a long time fully accepting or facing these problems as they are or has a weak approach in attempting to fix or acknowledge the problems. Idealizes a lot of aspects and tends to withdrawal when things don’t match his vision.

Procrastination- Once again, has a hard time facing things head on and takes a while to put action into something and avoids the messier more negative emotions that one must face in relationships; he could also take a long time to let the relationship reach the next more serious levels.

Stubborn- It's hard to change his mind about certain things..in arguments he'll try to pull a "lets agree to disagree" but it's a topic where you both need to be on the same page. He might even just straight up go mute in arguments if he doesn't feel like his opinion was valued enough.

[readychilledwine]

✨️ACOTAR Booty Headcanons✨️

💕Peep the thigh headcanons here💕

Warnings - Butts. Fanart of butts. Nakey butts. Bubble butts. Lady butts. Man butts.

Up next? ✨️ Hands ✨️

✨️Body Headcanons Masterlist✨️ Master Masterlist ✨️

Edited to add - short plus size Elain sneak peak

A/N - for @lady-of-tearshed, I hope this meets all your dreams, my love.

A message from Mother - You, my sweet dear reader, are gorgeous as you are. You are real, touchable, and made with imperfections that enhance your beauty and uniqueness. You are a treasure. Do not compare yourself to a single body on this list.

Rhysand-

I like to start off strong..

Rhysand has a very bite-able booty.

He is slightly leaner than Azriel and Cassian, but he still has a firm butt.

Rhysand loves to wear tight slacks, just to watch your pretty little brain go blank when you see his ass.

He sleeps naked and it's hard for you not to just.. touch the booty.

To be fair, he loves to keep his hand (and hand print) on your butt, too.

Art by Amai actually just posted Rhysand butt fanart. Enjoy it below

Cassian-

John Cena has been described as having a military grade ass with an inhuman body.

Cassian also has an inhuman body, so it makes sense that my guy has a military grade ass.

Cassian has butt muscles in places you didn't even know you could have butt muscles.

It is intimidating. Very intimidating.

But you LOVE watching this man walk. Especially when he's walking to the bathroom to grab towels for aftercare.

Azriel-

Azriel's ass surprised you in the best way.

Azriel is lean compared to Cassian, so his bubble butt shocked you.

Much firm. Still jiggle.

You were ready for this jelly.

Azriel gets super shy when you tell him how good his butt looks, but he's like that one friend who secretly loves it and makes sure to wear the same pants/skirt/shorts the next time they see you so you are in love with their deliciousness again.

Sometimes, you just sneak up on Azriel and accidentally squeeze. In front of his family. But don't worry. He squeezes yours back.

Tamlin-

I'm disappointed I can't find this gif when I need it.

We can all hate on Tamlin as much as we want, but SJM herself says the man is muscular.

I imagine Tamlin was worried about his arms and chest being thicker than his legs, so he started hitting legs and glutes hard.

Then, the next thing he knows, he has a damn shelf.

He hates when you touch his butt though. He'd prefer you touch him other places.

But you bet your ass he is touching yours

Lucien-

I stand by Lucien having Chris Hemsworth's body type.

Lucien had the perfect, truly bite-able ass.

You constantly have your hand in his back pocket.

You constantly are giving it a little smack so it jiggles.

You always walk behind him.

Lucien loves the way you worship his body. He's insecure about his scars, so you loving every inch of him helps.

Eris-

Daddy 🫠🫠

Eris has the captain America Dorito proportions build, and I hope all of you know *exactly* what I am talking about.

I imagine Eris as slim muscular, and when I decided to do these, I needed him to have Chris Evans's ass

I mean look at it

Imagine that ass in Eris's finely tailored clothing.

Imagine that ass getting off a horse.

You're touching him. Constantly. And he loves it.

He loves that you seem to think he's some sort of God.

And he really loves it when you touch his butt because you begged him to treat you as his equal, meaning that ass of yours is in his hands quickly.

Helion-

You know when a guys thighs are so thick they become one with his dump truck? Helion.

He actually requires a CDL for his ass.

You can't really tell until he's naked and turns around due to the thickness of his thighs, but this male has ass for days.

And his ass is FIRM. There is not an ounce of fat on him.

He considers his ass a trophy of sorts, so touching it is only for those privileged to.

Luckily you have that privilege.

Oh, look.. I included the Archeron sisters

Feyre-

Don't accuse me of doing our girl dirty, but I picture Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit when I think of Feyre's body.

The reason you can't accuse me of doing her dirty is because the things I'd do if Halle Berry told me to do them are extreme.

I picture Feyre as very lean, very cut, and she had the cutest baby bubble butt.

She's definitely the friend who thinks she has no booty until you help her find the right outfit for the booty.

She also blushes whenever you touch it.

She wishes it was bigger sometimes, but a few spanks in, and she's telling you she's perfect as she is.

I wish I could find a better picture of this 🫠

Nesta-

Nesta I also picture as tight and lean.

For some reason when I read her, I picture Adriana Lima, but with blonde hair.

Maybe it's because I think Nesta has sultry vibes?

Nesta tries to keep herself small. It's ingrained deeply into her head because of her mother and grandmother that she has to be small.

She's also constantly training, so it keeps her tight.

She may not have the biggest ass, but that thing is the best apple you've bit

Elain-

If you don't know by now, you're about to: elain at minimum is slim thick.

I personally see truly happy glowing elain as mid to plus size, and I'm hoping for mid to plus size elain once this stupid shipwar is over.

Right now, though, elain is slimthick.

She's still recovering from her spicy sadness days, and her recovery has her doing squats in the garden

Ass. For. Days.

It's why she actually doesn't wear pants. She tried once and every almost had a collective mass failure heart attack.

So now, her booty is reserved for you and you alone.

You love it when she wears cheeky things in the bedroom.

I imagine elain is super into impact play because she loves the way you compliment her recoil.

I think she's secretly proud of her booty. She just doesn't want anyone else to know. So sssshhhh.

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp

[morgana-larkin]

Hi!! I absolutely ADORE your writing!! This is my first request so please don’t get mad 🙏🏾🙏🏾!!

Long story short Melissa accidentally snaps on the reader and the reader ignores her for gives her blunt responses for the rest of the day and Melissa makes it up to her 😏😏

PSA: it doesn’t have to be smut!!! That’s just the first thing that came to mind!

Hi!! I’m so happy you love my writing! And anon never feel guilty about sending a prompt, I was not mad in the slightest. I had a lot of fun writing this and it honestly took me over a day as I kept getting distracted. And obviously I’m gonna include smut if you ask for it. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: I’m still taking requests, I currently have 10 prompts to get too and 3 other pieces I’m doing, so please be patient if you send one!

Side note: don’t know if the gif fits but she looks so hot with that pen in her mouth 🫠

Make Up and Make Out

Warnings: feisty Mel, swearing, smut

Words: 3.5k

You and Melissa have been dating for 2 months now. While it’s still new, you know that you and Melissa love each other even if neither of you have said those 3 words yet. The Abbott crew knows, they were the ones that set you two up when they got tired that neither of you got your head out of your ass and asked the other one out.

It’s Friday morning and you're walking in through the doors of Abbott. You walk in and immediately see Melissa stomping angrily across the floor to her classroom. You decide to go and check on her and see what’s upsetting her.

You knock and open her door. “Melissa?” You say gently and she turns to look at you.

“What?” She bites out and you are taken back but you don’t take it personally.

“I came to check on you, you seem upset.” You tell her.

“I’m fine.” She grits out and you walk closer to her.

“You sure?” You press.

“Yes I’m fine, I just want to be left alone.” She tells you.

“You don’t seem fine.” You push. And Melissa is trying not to take her anger out on you but with everything going on and you keep pushing, her anger is rising.

“Y/n please leave. I want to be alone.” She spits out.

“Mel, if something is going on with you then I’m here for you.” You tell her and then Melissa explodes.

“Y/N! I DON’T WANT YOU HERE! I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE! DON’T YOU EVER LISTEN OR ARE YOU JUST STUPID!” She yells at you and you admit that it hurt.

“I’m sorry, I’ll let you be.” You tell her defeated and you look down at the ground as you leave her classroom.

As soon as you close her door, a couple tears spring to your eyes and you head to your own classroom which is down the hallway

Melissa silently stews in her classroom until the kids get there. She ran into Joe and his new wife this morning at the gas station. She seemed really happy with him, and it just reminded her of her marriage with him. She was happy at first too, and then it slowly declined. What if it happens again with you? She didn’t want to be with you due to her issues and feelings with relationships but after getting to know what it would be like to be with you, she couldn’t stay away. She’s thinking if maybe she should stay with you or let you go so you can go live your life with someone else that doesn’t have the issues she does.

The morning passes by and she’s seen you a few times in the hall but you ignored her every time. She knows she hurt you this morning when you came to check on her and she should apologise, but too many thoughts are swirling in her head, concerning you and your relationship.

At lunch in the break room, you walk in and get a coffee ready without even looking at Melissa and she sighs. You just get a coffee with your back turned to her, Melissa stands up and walks over to stand beside you.

“Y/n?” She says and you just glance at her before resuming what you were doing. “Can we talk after school at my place?” She says to you and you furrow your eyebrows. Is she really going to break up with you.

“I’m busy after school.” You tell her.

“With what?” She questions. You originally had plans tonight to see each other so she thought that might still happen.

“None of your business.” You bite out and she sighs.

“What about tomorrow?” She tries and you roll your eyes. You grab your lunch from the fridge, grab your coffee and leave. Leaving a hurt Melissa behind.

Once you get to your classroom, you close and lock your door. You then sit down at your desk and you sigh. You bring your knees up to your chest and you curl in on yourself.

The afternoon goes just how the morning went, everytime Melissa sees you and either waves or tries to talk to you, you ignore her.

When all the students leave, Melissa sits back in her chair and sighs. She’s worried that you guys aren’t going to last much longer and it’s all because of her. In that moment, she hears a knock at her door and she looks, hoping it’s you.

“Oh, hey Barb.” She says when she sees Barb standing there looking worried.

“Hey dear.” She says and enters, she closes the door and walks over to the redhead. “I’ve noticed some tension between you and y/n today.” She says and Melissa groans.

“I know, I yelled at her this morning by accident and she’s avoiding me and I don’t blame her.” Melissa says and covers her face with her hands.

“Why did you yell at her?” Barb says and brings one of the students chairs over to Melissa’s desk and sits on it.

“I ran into Joe and his new wife at the gas station this morning. She seemed really happy with him.” She says and removed her hands from her face

“I feel like there’s more to this.” Barb pushes. “Cause I doubt you still have feelings for Joe.”

“Ya there’s more. It made me think of how happy I was with him at first, before the problems started. And I thought, what if it happens with y/n too? Should I just back out now? And all those thoughts kept swirling around in my head and she saw that I was upset and came to check on me. She tried to get me to talk to her and I kept telling her to leave me alone, and when she didn’t, I snapped at her.” Melissa says and Barb looks at her, processing what Melissa just told her.

“Melissa, I know you know this but I think you need to hear it, y/n is not Joe. Your relationship with her is different than your relationship with Joe.”

“I know, and she’s so young Barb. What if I fuck her up the way that my marriage with Joe fucked me up?” Melissa says.

“Melissa I can’t give you what you need, I can’t give you reassurance because I don’t know the future. But maybe that’s a good thing. Why worry about the future when you should focus on the present.” Barb tells her.

“Easier said than done.” She says and sighs.

“I know. But answer this Melissa, do you want to lose y/n?” She asks and that catches Melissa off guard. She was thinking at the beginning of the day that maybe you’ll be better off without her but then she got upset when you started ignoring her. After getting a taste of what it would be like to not have you anymore today, she wants to stay with you. She hated that you ignored her today.

“No.” Is all Melissa says but it Barb knew how much thought Melissa put in to that answer.

“Then you need to apologise and explain.” She tells her.

“I want to do that right now but she said she has plans right now.” Melissa says and Barb chuckles.

“She lied, she has nothing going on.” Barb tells her.

“How do you know?”

“Because I ran into her on the way here and I asked her about her plans tonight and she said she’s staying home and possibly watch movies.” She tells her. And at that Melissa gets up and gathers her things.

“Thanks Barb.” Melissa tells her and she runs to her car.

Barb shakes her head and smiles. “I love those two but they can be such idiots.” She tells herself and then leaves to go home.

Melissa drives to your place and gets out and sprints to your door then knocks. You hear the knock but you don’t feel like getting up from the couch, so you ignore it.

Melissa thinks maybe you didn’t hear it so she knocks again but louder. You hear the louder knock and you get up as someone is here to talk to you and is willing to knock twice. You open the door and see Melissa there and your heartbeat speeds up. You think maybe she’s here to end things.

“Melissa.” You say.

“Hi, can I come in?” She asks.

“If you’re here to break up with me, I’d rather you just do it here.” You tell her.

“Well then luckily I’m not here to break up with you.” She tells you and you look at her confused. “I’m here to apologise for this morning and to explain what happened.” She says and you move to the side to let her in. She walks in and goes to your couch to sit down and you join her after closing the door.

“Ok, so what happened this morning then?” You ask and she takes a deep breath.

“I ran into Joe and his new wife this morning at the gas station.“ She starts and you put an arm on the top of the couch and lean your head on your hand and look at Melissa. “She looked happy with him, and it reminded me of when he and I were married. I was that happy as well, but only for a few years. And it made me think about us and what if it happens again like it did with Joe. I don’t have the best track record when it comes to relationships. A failed marriage and failed proposal isn’t something to brag about. I don’t want to ruin relationships for you either. I thought maybe it would be best if I let you go now and you could go live your best life without me.” She tells you and you look at her surprised. “Then when you went to check up on me, all those thoughts were spiralling and you kept pushing and I snapped and I’m sorry. When you were ignoring me today, I basically got a taste of life without you and I don’t want that life.” She tells you and then looks at your eyes. “I hope you still want to be with me, because I still want to be with you.” She tells you and you stare at her, mouth open.

“What if this happens again? And that time you actually break up with me?” You ask her and Melissa looks down with guilt, it was a fair question.

“I can’t promise you what you want to hear, I don’t know what’s going to happen, and it scares me too.” She looks up at you. “But right now I want to be with you. I love you.” She says and you look at her stunned. She said it, those 3 words.

“You love me?” You ask her and she nods.

“I do, I love you very much.” She tells you and you smile at her.

“I love you too.” You tell her and she looks at you shocked then she smiles. “And of course I want to stay with you.” You tell her and she beams.

She leans forward, she cups your cheek and she kisses you. You kiss her back immediately and you run your fingers through her beautiful ginger locks.

“Let me make it up to you. I want to show you how much I love you.” She tells you when she pulls back. You look at her a little breathless from the kiss and you nod. You two haven’t had sex yet as you were taking it slow. You couldn’t believe your luck today. It started out shitty but then she tells you she loves you and then wants to have sex.

She stands up and gets you to stand up too, then she picks you up bridal style and carries you to your bedroom. She places you on the bed, then straddles your lap and kisses you deeply.

She pulls your shirt up and you two break away from the kiss for a second then go right back to kissing. She snakes her hands to your back and unclips your bra, before she gets a chance, you take it off and throw it to the ground. Melissa laughs at your eagerness then pulls back to get a good look at you. She places her hands on you and touches you everywhere. “You have such a beautiful body.” She tells you and you smile.

“You’ve only seen half of it.”

“Ya, and I love what I’m seeing already.” She says to you and you blush. She then pushes you down and you lay on your back. She kisses your lips then she sneaks a kiss on your nose and forehead and you giggle. She then goes to one of your ears and licks and sucks on it. She then goes to your other ear and does the same thing, she wants both sides to get the same amount of attention.

After, she travels down to your neck, she kisses it and sucks in the middle and you gasp and arch your back. She ends up leaving 4 hickeys on your neck, 2 on each side, before travelling down to your chest. She leaves kisses all over your chest before putting a nipple in her mouth and sucking. While sucking and licking the nipple, she unbuttons your jeans, pulls the zipper down and sneaks her hand in your jeans and underwear. She pulls back from the nipple at the same time you gasp when her finger finds your clit. She then gets off the bed and takes off your remaining clothes, goes on her knees, pulls your body towards her and connects her mouth with your pussy.

“OMG!” You say. You’ve had sex before but for some reason many girls don’t want to do oral, which is a shame as it’s your favourite. You feel her smirk after you say that and you look down at her and she’s indeed smiling. She looks up with her eyes at you and sees you looking at her, and that’s when she decides to connect her tongue with your clit. You gasp and grab her hair, she moans as you grab and pull her hair a bit. The moan vibrates on your clit and you buck your hips, Melissa has to pin you down to stop you from moving. She doesn’t stop, she knows you’re close by the way you’re shaking. You come with a gasp seconds later and Melissa licks it all up.

She gets up and takes her shirt and pants off, then motions for you to move to the head of the bed, which you do. She then climbs on top of you and kisses your lips. You taste yourself on her and you moan and grab her head, deepening the kiss. Then she slips her tongue in and you lose all thought, except the thought of her. You reach her back and you unclip her bra and take it off. You want to feel all of her without clothing in the way. Once the bra is off you put your hands back on her back and feel all over, she has such soft skin and want to be able to feel it forever. You then migrate to her front and put your hands on her stomach and feel all of it and moan. You then move up and feel her neck then move down to her chest and cup her boobs. This time she moans and you begin playing with her nipples. You break apart from the kiss and Melissa can’t stop kissing you and moves down to kiss your neck.

“Hmm Melissa, please, I want your nipples in my mouth.” You tell her and she smiles. She knows you’re more of a breast girl as she’s caught you looking at her breasts more than her ass. She pulls away from your neck and slides up a bit so her boobs are in your face. You put one nipple in your mouth and put your hand on the boob and cup it while your other hand is playing with the other.

Melissa feels as you suck and move your tongue all over her nipple and she moans. Of course all her sexual partners that she’s had have always been interested in her boobs as they’re big. But all of them never really know how to properly use their mouth on them. But it seems you know exactly what to do to make her let out so many sounds. Then she realises that all her past partners also never did something else well and she wants you to try it.

Once you’re almost done with her second nipple, she speaks up. “My love, Amore?” She says and you pull back and you look at each other. “There’s something that I’ve always wanted to do and was wondering if you’d be interested.” She says and you look at her and smile.

“What is it?” You ask her and she bites her lip.

“Face sitting.” She says and you look at her.

“With you on someone’s face or someone on yours?” You ask.

“With me on someone’s face.” She says and looks down a bit embarrassed. You bring a hand to her chin and make her look up.

“What are you waiting for then? Come sit on my face.” You say excitedly and she beams.

“Really?”

“Ya, come on.” You tell her and she strips her underwear off then she moves up, grips the headboard and lowers herself on your mouth. Before she’s fully on she looks at you concerned.

“If you need air then like tap my leg 3 times or something.” She says and you nod.

She lowers herself fully and your tongue is immediately all over her entrance and she gasps. With your experienced tongue all over her pussy, it doesn’t take long until she’s grinding on your mouth. You have to hold her legs so she doesn’t block your air flow and you move to her clit. She’s moaning and gasping as you’re sucking and licking her clit so well and she’s starting to shake. She comes 10 seconds later and it all goes in your mouth and on your face.

She gets up and moves back down and kisses you. “Thank you.” She tells you.

“Of course.” You tell her and Melissa can tell that you’re turned on so much right now and moves her hand down to your entrance and pushes a finger in. You gasp and she starts sliding it in and out and then she adds another. She adds a thumb to your clit and you’re trying to grind but her body on yours is stopping you from moving. Then you realise her body is on yours, and you could move your thigh up straight to her core, so you do.

“Oh, fuck.” She says when your thigh is putting pressure on her core. “What are you doing?” She says and slows her movements down.

“Wanting you to grind on my leg.” You say and she raises her eyebrows at you.

“How about I can grind on your leg after I make you come?” She offers and you nod and lower your leg. She speeds up her movements and you’re moaning and gasping. Not too long after you come and she slows down before pulling out of you and she licks her fingers that were inside of you. She then moves to straddle her thigh and starts grinding on it as promised. You can’t help but stare at this beautiful woman, who’s also your girlfriend, grinding on your leg. You put your hands on her hips to help and you tense up your thigh to give her more pleasure. “Oh god, y/n.” She moans out and she brings one of your hands to her boob to get more pleasure and you put your other hand on her ass and cup a cheek. “Do I feel nice and wet on your thigh baby?” She asks you and the only thing you can do is nod as the rest of your brain power has fucked off. “Hmm, you make me so wet, you and that magical tongue of yours.” She gasps out and you smile. She comes seconds later and you feel it drop on your thigh.

She pulls off of you and grabs the Kleenex on your nightstand and cleans you both up. She then lays down beside you and you both catch your breath. She looks at you and sees you’re already staring at her and she opens her arms out with a “come here” and you go and cuddle into her.

“I’m still so sorry for snapping at you.” She tells you and you completely forgot about that.

“It’s ok, I forgive you. And honestly, I forgot about it.” You say and she giggles.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

@lilfartbox1

Let me know if you want to be added!

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Happy Birthday, little finch.

Gif credits

Pairing: Jackson!Joel X AFAB!reader

Words count: 6731

Rating: +18 NSFW, Minors please don’t interact

Summary: Everyone forgets your birthday but you receive an unexpected invitation (wink) that will change the fate of the day.

Warnings: POV second person, smut, little power dynamic, little brat taming, begging, unprotected P in V (please, always use protections in real life!), Reader's age is intentionally unspecified, you can imagine an age gap between her and Joel or not, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), nipples play, Joel comes on reader's tits, just a little of pulling hair, soft!Joel, grumpy!Joel, pet names (little finch, honey, baby, babe), mention of fasting as a sarcastic joke (I don’t condone joking about no one’s eating habits), reader has hair (It is not specified how long they are or what they look like), reader can be lifted by big and strong Joel, reader has a able body, breasts and vagina and she wears a dress, apart from that no other description is given, reader is part of the Jackson community, I don't know anything about Jackson, I only know a few details about second game’s plot (including that detail, yes) so everything I describe is purely from my imagination and may have no bearing on the original Jackson, brief appearances by Maria, Tommy, Ellie and Dina, drinking, swearing, Joel calls reader “little finch” (I came up with this nickname just because my grandpa used to call me with a bird name when I was little and I always found it sweet, so here we go ❤️), Joel can draw (I don't know if it's true but for me it is, okay, allow me). I hope I haven't forgotten anything but if I do I'll add it as soon as I notice.

English is not my first language so please be kind, I always try to do my best, no proofreading (sorry), very little editing, I apologize for any mistakes. I'm writing on my phone, I hope the formatting isn't too bad 🥲

Thank you so much to anyone who will read this, I really hope you’ll like it, kind comments and advices are really appreciated ❤️

I've been listening to Hozier's "Talk" heavily while writing this so here it is, I'll let you know. It's such a beautiful song and I love Hozier so much 🫠

You wake up struck by a ray of sunlight that enters faintly through the half-closed shutters and dies right on your face.

You have no idea what time it is and your head feels heavy and confused, you turn over in bed thinking that maybe you can give yourself another 5 minutes but then you hear voices outside already awake and ringing and then you think that maybe it's really late. You sit up and retrieve the clock from the bedside table, it's 7 in the morning.

You get up and go to the kitchen to make some coffee and from the window you see some people already busy doing their work. Some children head towards the building designated as school in Jackson, happily laughing while they chase each others.

You yawn and open the cabinet in the kitchen where you keep the coffee filters, a precious supply recovered during an exploration that you jealously preserve.

The coffee is also the result of a find and therefore it was carefully rationed with the other members of the community.

You are grateful that it exists because this morning you really need it, last night you slept badly, continuing to toss in your sleep and always dreaming of the same thing again and again. You being swallowed up by a hole in the ground and no hand reaching out to help you. Just a great dream.

The coffee maker burbles a few minutes later, releasing the drink you crave.

Temperatures are milder in this season so you no longer need to put on a heavy jacket and snow boots, there is a bit of fresh wind but nothing compared to the harsh winter that has just passed.

Today in particular you feel like dressing better than usual, you go back to your room and open the wardrobe, carefully inspecting the few clothes hanging there.

You obviously don't have much choice because they're all salvaged second-hand clothes, but Maria gave you a nice pair of denim shorts a month ago and they look very nice on you.

You take it out of the closet and place it on the bed along with a white tank top that highlights your boobs just right, it’s nothing particularly fancy but it makes you feel good, you head towards the shower humming softly.

The shower helps you wake up, you dress and you leave the house feeling a bit better.

You meet a couple of people who greet you as you make your way to the library.

You enter, smelling the familiar smell of books and immediately get to work cleaning and dusting the shelves and the floor, like every day.

The morning passes peacefully, only a couple of people come in to borrow books, so after doing your chores you took the opportunity to rearrange thriller’s books section.

You're a bit shocked by the fact that no one told you anything particular but you don't mind, these people have a lot to think about and a lot to do.

When you leave it's lunch time, so you head to the common room.

The crisp air caresses your face and the sun gives you a little warmth that you missed so much, you really love this season in Jackson.

You enter the room filled with chatter that echoes off the walls. You take your place in line and once you have had your portion you sit at one of the tables.

No one reaches you yet. You're alone in a room full of people.

You see him in a corner, sitting with Maria and Tommy and you get lost for a while observing the way he moves his large hands, how his hair rests at the base of his neck, his big brown eyes, so communicative, the way his flannel shirt - which has practically become a distinctive trait of Joel - hug his muscles, the way his lower lip slightly twitch while he’s talking.

You’re totally captivated.

You can't help it and you know it.

Every time he spoke to you, even for just a few minutes, your body reacted unequivocally at his deep low raspy voice, his proximity always caused you trouble.

You like this man, much more than you are willing to admit.

Joel Miller.

You're friends, you might say. As much as it is possible to be friends with a man like him.

He's friendly, but always with an undertone of detachment that you can't define, as if he's afraid of letting himself go with someone and let his feelings flow freely.

And just as you're thinking this, he turns and looks at you for a moment.

You are sitting, yet your knees feel weak and you feel your cheeks redden knowing you've been caught.

You turn your eyes back to your lunch, quickly finishing your meal and bringing your tray back. You leave the common room feeling in a bubble.

It's stupid that he makes you feel like a little girl with her first crush but it always happens, by now you're resigned to always making a fool of yourself with him.

You walk home to do your household chores and then go to the patch of garden you've been assigned to take care of.

You meet various people along the way but again everyone just say hello, you see Ellie with Dina and they both wave at you and nothing more. In the meantime, Maria has left the common room and the only thing she asks you is how the courgettes you planted a month ago are coming along.

It's strange, but you shrug your shoulders and think that deep down today is not such a relevant day for others even if you hoped it would be because you now consider these people as your new family.

You stop thinking about it and focus on the things you have to do but a tiny piece of your heart hurts a little, just a little.

What the hell is wrong with people today? Only a month ago they throw a big party for Tommy and now nothing, not even a hint.

Okay, Tommy is higher rank, he is married to Maria, everyone sees him as a guide just as they see his partner.

And he goes on patrols, certainly offering others a greater sense of security and protection, unlike you who deal with less dangerous things.

That's probably why, you're just a minion in Jackson's pecking order.

You let off some steam by plowing your field with more force than necessary, small drops of sweat slide down your forehead and you end up hot and with your arms aching from the effort.

Stupid girl, stop thinking about it, it's not that important to have a birthday, not in a post apocalyptic world where everyone is struggling to get ahead.

But still, they acknowledged every single special day of everyone’s here before, except yours and nothing particularly relevant is happening, it’s been a couple of quiet weeks.

You're wiping sweat from your forehead with one hand when you hear a voice behind you.

"What are you doing tonight?" It's his voice, you'd recognize his among a thousand.

You turn around stuttering “uh, what?”

And there he is, flannel shirt, curls slightly blowing in the wind, mouth curved in a smirk, dark piercing eyes.

Fuck.

“I asked…what are you doing tonight?”

You feel the nervousness rising in your chest, it's the first time he's spoken to you in a week and you weren't ready in the slightest.

“Uh…oh…nothing special, I guess, I think I'll read a book and go to sleep early”

you say trying to maintain a certain apparent nonchalance.

“You didn't mention dinner, are you going to fast?” Oh, great. Sarcastic jokes, classic Miller behavior.

“No, of course not,” you reply, rolling your eyes.

He chuckles “okay, so, would you like to come to my house? I cook”

Fuck. Is that, a date?

You instantly feel your mouth dry as you try to reply “Well, it’s not like I have something better to do so yes, why not”

You don't want to make it obvious to this man how he makes you feel. There are worse things to worry about in this world, but letting yourself go with someone who always shows restraint only to be rejected - on your birthday, no less - doesn't seem as pleasant.

And that's how you usually communicate anyway, bickering.

Maria often laughs about it, you are both stubborn and neither of you ever wants to agree with the other.

One day she told you that she thinks you'll end up together and you practically laughed in her face. Not because you don't want to, but because you thought Joel didn't even see you that way.

Maybe Maria was right all along, who knows.

“Good, see you at 7”

And he goes.

You watch him walk away for a while, still with spade in your hands.

Suddenly this day became interesting.

You run into the house and take off your dirty clothes throwing them in the basket you keep in the bathroom and go to the shower.

While you're soaping yourself up you wonder what came into his mind.

As you rub your hair, you think that maybe he's making fun of you but Joel doesn't seem like the type to make a prank, he's always quite sarcastic but not a proper prankster.

It's part of his charm, he always looks grumpy but you know he's not bad, the way he looks at Ellie or his brother says everything about him.

He would do anything for the people he loves.

And he’s not mean, he was kind to you too.

You've spent more time looking at him, analyzing every chat you had with him than you like to admit, so yeah, you're pretty sure he's okay.

Once you get out of the shower you open the wardrobe and find yourself contemplating the usual clothes with which you have to make the best of things.

There is a cute dress that you have never worn because you have never found a particular occasion. It's quite short and low-cut, definitely not suited to Jackson's lifestyle, here everyone wears jeans and sweaters or t-shirts.

You think that maybe tonight is the time to dare even if you don't want him to burst out laughing and ask you what you've got in your head.

It's just a dinner.

He never mentioned anything romantic.

You're obviously nervous, because you like him and if it doesn't go well you should continue to see him every day anyway.

In the end you decide to wear the dress anyway but to tone it down with a cardigan and a pair of boots, so as to make it look less like "please fuck me" style.

You shake your head, how much trouble are you going to for Joel Miller.

However, you have to admit that it's the first really exciting thing that's happened to you since you've been here. You thought that surviving was enough so you obviously never complained about it.

You fix your hair after drying it, you look at yourself in the mirror and you think that you're not that bad after all.

It's almost time, you leave the house and walk the few meters that separate you from Joel's house with your heart beating wildly in your chest.

You climb the few steps to his porch feeling insecure and stupid for accepting, who knows what you expect from this lonely man.

You shrug and knock on the door, snuggling into your cardigan in the cool evening air.

You consider going back and pretending you had a mishap, but Joel opens the door.

“Hey, come in” he smiles at you. You cross the threshold timidly as a delicious scent invades your nostrils.

Who knew Joel Miller could cook?

You follow him into the kitchen and Joel pours you a glass of wine.

“Where did you find this?” you ask in surprise. Wine is a luxury that you haven't been able to afford many times in Jackson, usually the only thing they bring back after searches and patrols are bottles of cheap whiskey.

“I found it two km from here in an abandoned shop. It was stuck under a shelf, probably for years”

“Oh, great”

“Well they say that aged wines are better. Like men, don't you agree?” He smiles, winking at you.

He winked.

Fuck.

You try to hide your surprise by taking a long sip from your glass.

While Joel is busy checking on the stew you take a look around the living room.

It's a nice house, simply furnished like all the houses in Jackson, tidy and clean.

There are some sheets with drawings on the coffee table in front of the couch. You know Joel made them because you've seen him several times on his porch busy drawing animals. A squirrel, a deer, a small bird. He's really good at it.

And obviously his guitar, resting on a stand in a corner near the couch.

In a totally cheesy way you would love to hear him play something for you.

“So, do you like wine?”

You turn and see that he is a few steps away from you, glass in hand.

“Uhm, yeah, it’s good”

He gives you a smile “stew is almost ready”

“Can I help you with something?”

“No, don’t worry, you’re the guest”

You see him linger with his gaze on your legs and up to your breasts and you think that the dress wasn't such a bad idea after all.

He is wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans and is breathtaking.

You scan each other for a few seconds, without speaking. You are like two predators sniffing each other to see who will give in first.

“That dress looks good on you” he finally says and for the first time you notice that he is slightly embarrassed. He looks down at his glass and stares at it harder than necessary.

You still don't know why he invited you tonight but honestly at this point you don't even care. He's more handsome than ever, his hair still slightly damp from the shower and pulled back, that little scar on his cheek that you'd be eager to find out the story of, that smile he's giving you and his hands nervously gripping the glass, everything about him draws you in like a magnet.

"Thank you. You're not bad either." You giggle and you know that it’s definitely what you needed tonight. To feel attractive. To feel seen.

He comes back to the kitchen and after a few seconds he calls you “Dinner’s ready”

You sit at the table in the kitchen and he places a plate in front of you that smells of home, of memories and takes you back to when you were little and your mom cooked for you.

It's like Proust's madeleine.

Evoking sweet feelings with food is one of your favorite things to remember who you were, who you loved, and what was before this debacle.

It's melancholy but also comfort in a certain way, it's like holding on to the truest and most authentic part of you, the one that made you who you are today and probably allowed you to survive.

You take a bite as Joel looks at you in anticipation.

“Wow, this is good!” you exclaim “extremely good. Who knew that you were a chef”

“Ha! I’m really not, it’s just a stew and I’ve done it so many time that I can’t get it wrong at this point”

“It's still the best I've had in years, I need to get invited to dinner more often”

You chuckle and then you blush, because you've made it clear that you hope it's the first of many times.

Damn you.

You hadn't had a love interest in years, obviously, there wasn't time to think about that while the world burned and you had to fight to stay alive. But here, in this little bubble, where people have welcomed you and you have recovered crumbs of normality, it doesn't seem too stupid to feel something for Joel.

Is he grumpy? Sometimes. But he is also incredibly generous, to be honest. When you asked him, a formal contractor, to help you create the library he snorted, he told you that it wasn't necessary, that no one would ever go there anyway.

You shrugged and said that you would have done it anyway with or without his help, Maria had already given you permission.

The next morning you got up early to go and clean up the designated building and found him there, he was repairing a damaged window that wouldn't go up or down.

He grumbled when you asked him ironically what he was doing “someone has to stop you from opening a crumbling library”

You smiled, feeling your heart warm.

And so it was every day until the place was ready. Joel showed up early in the morning or in the evening, spent a few hours fixing the steps, eradicating moths, building shelves and cabinets, even a desk for you.

You've never talked in depth about your lives but you still know something you've heard through the grapevine. He's very secretive about his past so you never asked him any uncomfortable questions, the last thing you would want is for him to never share anything with you again.

The time he helped you with the library was the most enjoyable time you've had here so far and that's when you realized that your crush was more serious than expected.

“Do you want another glass of wine?”

“Why not, i don’t have to drive home”

He laughs “Yeah, no fines for you”

“At most a headache, but I'll think about that in the morning”

“Were you surprised when I invited you?”

he leaves you speechless for a moment and then you find, you don't know how, the strength to use irony, like you always do "I've known for a long time that you want me" you giggle and brush your hair away from your face while you say it.

"Oh yes? How strange, I actually thought it was the opposite” the smirk and the deep chuckle he gives to you goes straight to the most private part of you. Right there. It sits on your clit and you feel it tingling.

Fuck, this man.

You never experienced a flirty Joel Miller before and you were actually quite sure he wasn’t even capable of being so but he is.

“Oh shut up, finish eating” you scoff, feeling your cheeks turn on fire.

He lets go for a while and watches you amusedly fill your mouth with his stew.

“It's a pleasure to see you eat, little finch”

He started calling you that when you couldn't move the furniture in the library on your own. "I don't know how you thought you could manage on your own, little finch."

At first you hated it, now you pretend to hate it but you actually like it.

“Stop calling me that!” you still have to keep up a facade after all.

“Oh come on, finch is the cutest bird, don’t be offended”

“I’m no bird” you pout.

“Yep you are, finch. Delicate. Elegant. Pretty. You walk like you’re floating in the light air and your voice is a lovely chirping sound. It gets on my nerves sometimes, but I actually like it. A lot.”

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

You can't believe he said that.

You feel your heart melt like snow under the sun, your lips involuntarily curl into a smile, your hands tremble with the desire to touching him and between your legs a lustful heat invades you all over.

His face is relaxed, his eyes sparkle mischievously and his smile…his smile pins you to the chair.

You raise your glass in an attempt to drink some courage while he doesn't stop looking at you silently.

Just enough time to bring your lips close to the glass and you find yourself coughing, you're too distracted and the wine goes sideways.

Obviously.

You can't help but look like a fool in front of him, you don't even know how he thinks you're elegant.

“Jesus, are you okay?” he asks in alarm as he reaches up to wrap his arm around your back and pat you lightly.

To your surprise, his large, calloused hands can be very gentle.

“Oh my god, yes, yes I’m okay” you reply between coughs "I'll get over it now"

Now that he knows that you will survive he sits back down to his chair and scrutinizes you with an amused expression.

“Did I go too hard on you?”

“What? No, not all” you reply red-faced, while trying to regain some composure.

“Okay, if you say so” he places a hand on yours gripping the table “Has it passed?”

“Yeah, I think it is” You pour a little water into the other glass he has set and drink, this time slowly.

Finally you feel your breathing return to regularity and your cough gradually subside.“Thank goodness, little finch, think if I should have taken you to the doctor in that lovely dress” and laughs.

You've never seen him laugh so much.

He is intelligible most of the time but tonight he is an open book.

“What's wrong with this dress, Miller?” you ask, ironically, you may be clumsy but not to this point and you want to try to get back at him.

"Nothing. You don't see many of them in Jackson, that's all."

“It doesn't look like anything special to me,” you say, as you realize he's staring insistently at your tits. “Do you see anything special, Miller?”

He shrugs “It’s pretty low cut for nothing”

You bend over slightly, resting your forearms on the table smiling at him, exposing your boobs even more. He is sitting in front of you and still watching at them.

“You're pretty good at it after all, little finch” his eyes have become darker and it's as if a small flame is burning inside them.

You feel a certain pride rising in your chest.

“Now you look like the embarrassed one, Miller, have you seen how things have changed?” Your smirk doesn't go unnoticed by Joel who squirms in his seat as if it has suddenly become uncomfortable.

"Can you tell me something? Why did you invite me tonight?” you’re pushing him, and you know it. And actually, you like it, for once you feel like you have the upper hand.

“Isn't it obvious, finch?” he mutter.

“Maybe, but I'd like to hear it from you. Use your words, Miller, I know you can."

“When you asked me to help you to arrange the library I thought you were crazy. Then I realized I was wrong. It was a nice idea. It was a great idea actually. No one here can go anywhere anymore, and in any case there is nowhere you can go so it is comforting to know that there is always a way to take refuge elsewhere, at least for a few hours, reading a great book. So yes, finch, I like you. I like you because you gave us back some beauty.”

“Fuck Miller, you can make speeches whenever you want”

“It's just one of the reasons I like you, you’re also smart and thoughtful and gorgeous but yeah, that’s it, I’ve said it”

His gaze is languid, you'd almost say longing. Maybe you managed to scratch a small piece of the invisible armor he built to protect himself.

One moment you were bickering as usual and the next Joel fucking Miller left you speechless.

No sarcasm, not an ounce of irony, he sounds sensitive and vulnerable.

It's so strange to see him in this light, the only other time it happened to you you were in the library, he found a children's book and held it in his hands looking at it in silence.

For a moment you could have sworn you saw tears in his eyes, he looked helpless and hurt and then it was the usual Joel, complaining about the mess and the weight of the boxes you had made him lift that gave nightmares to his back.

You get up from the chair without even realizing it, as if it were an involuntary movement that your body needs.

You stop in front of him, who is still sitting, his arms abandoned on the table, his gaze following you questioningly.

You put a hand in his hair and let it run through his dark curls while he instinctively closes his eyes, abandoning himself completely under your touch.

You would like to say something but you don't want to ruin the moment and in any case you can't find any words suitable to describe how you feel.

Moved, yearning, grateful, overwhelmed?

All these things together at the same time.

You let your hand linger on the base of his neck, stroking softly

“Look at me” you whisper.

And his gaze turns, his whole body turns, and you've never seen him so clearly. He rests his large hands on your hips and his gaze pierces you as he lands on yours.

You feel his grip tighten as you lean over him and leave a shy kiss on his lips. Small. Brief. And another, instinctively. And yet another.

And another until his lips part on yours and fit perfectly in a long sigh. He tastes like wine and loneliness and desire.

It’s manly but tender and demanding for more.

Your tongues meet and it's like an electric shock that surprises you but at the same time it's inevitable like when two surfaces rub together generating energy, it is an unwritten physical law that holds you together despite having used all your strength to keep each other at a distance for months.

Now, all you can do is give up.

You kiss him like it's the last thing you do in your life, his eager hands roam your hips, gripping your ass and squeezing tightly.

He part from your lips just the time to stand up and wrapping you entirely in his arms, his mouth searching for yours again, eager, his hands stroking your back while you feel just like a little finch in the most comfortable nest you could find.

“God, I want you” he mutter in your ear nuzzling at your sensitive skin.

“Take me. Just… take me, Joel”

It’s a dreadful need that you feel deep in your bone, the last shred of love you could find in this broken world, a sweet feeling of release that you desperately wanted.

You can’t think straight and don’t want to.

He take off your cardigan and reaches for the hem of your dress and lifts it up roaming your thighs feverishly, squeezing and stroking, his fingers digging into your flesh as you moan softly into his ear. He pulls it up to your waist and you help slide it off your head.

He bends down to take off your boots and throws them on the floor in an unspecified place, then he gets up and takes you back in his arms. He's still dressed while you're almost naked and exposed in a pair of black lace panties and a matching bra. You might be intimidated but you're not. You let yourself be held and explored by his hands. His calloused fingers, rough but gentle, touch you everywhere, giving you goosebumps. He lifts a hand to one of your breast and squeezes it through the fabric.

You can't help but let out a muffled moan while he is filling his hand with your flesh.

“Do you like it, finch? Me squeezing your boob?” he says in a whisper, looking into your eyes.

“Y-yes” you mumble “give me more”

There's a smug, lecherous smile painted on his face as he reaches for your bra and unclasps it with a single gesture.

He slides it off and drops it on the kitchen floor. Your nipples stiffen in an instant, hit by the air, he takes one between his fingers and pinches it, pulling it gently and then his mouth is on it swirling his tongue and sucking it. You squirm at the sensation, digging your hand into his hair again, pushing his face into your breast “more, more” you stammer. You feel his smile spread across your skin and his teeth bite lightly into you.

“You’re ravenous, aren’t you?”

You pull his hair and tilt his face slightly to regain eye contact. “Do you mind?”

“Absolutely fucking not.”

“Good, you can continue doing what you were doing” you smile defiantly. You like to provoke him, especially now.

“You're bossy for a little finch, I like that”

he smiles back, his eyes shining bright with thrill and anticipation.

He returns to greedily licking and sucking like a thirsty man on your nipples, another loud moan escape from your lips.

“Fuck, you’re so good”

“I just started with you, you have no idea what awaits you” he whispers.

“Mmm then less talking, Miller, show me”

Without having to be told twice, he picks you up, much to your surprise, and places you on his couch in the living room.

“Woah, Miller, easy”

“You told me not to waste time talking” he shrugs. chuckling.

He pulls you to the edge of the couch “spread your legs”

You open your legs a little but he is visibly not satisfied, he takes your knees and opens them more "Like this. Now stay still” he orders.

He kneels between your thighs and pulls your panties aside.

You feel his fingers trail up your thigh, slowly, taking the time to slide lightly over your skin, causing you a mixture of tickling and excitement.

You writhe when you feel his index finger grazing your pussy lips, wandering up and down caressing for a little bit before sliding it between them and wetting it completely in your juices.

“You’re soaking wet, baby”

You can literally feel your cunt dripping when he keeps going up and down, briefly sinking into your hole with the tip of his finger and then on your clit, moving in circle with two fingers over your bundle of nerves.

You’re whining again, you’re growing impatient and he perfectly knows that

“Joel…”

“Yes, Finch?”

“You're doing it again”

“What”

“You know what. Do you want to torture me?”

"No. I just want you to beg me."

“God, you’re impossible” you roll your eyes out of exhaustion and arousal.

He stops completely.

“So are you, babe. Can you please let me do what I know best?”

He presses on your clit with two fingers and you squirm.

“Fuck. Okay”

He starts teasing your clit again, moving his fingers up and down to gather your wetness and spread it all over your lips.

“The thing is, finch, your pussy is so good. Look at her, I can’t rush it. She deserves to be loved nicely and slowly”

He is sitting on his heels just taking his time with you and you can’t be more eager to have him in your hole but you breath, resigned to wait for his pace.

He teases your entrance again, this time with two fingers, pushing in a little deeper.

His thumb is still taking care of your clit, moving a little faster than before.

“Eyes on me, babe”

And you do, you lock your eyes with his and you see hunger and lust and wonder.

He’s admiring you and you feel flattered.

He brings his face closer and sticks his tongue out, licking you from bottom to top and then again, letting it slide between your lips.

His beard is scratching you, his tongue stops on your clit swirling around it, jerking it slowly, again and again until you see him closing his lips on it and sucking gently.

He’s devouring you at this point and you mewl and cry and scream for more.

“Jesus - fuck - oh my goodness”

Your fingers are entwined into his curls and you’re pushing his face against you as much as you can, his tongue is fucking your hole now, he delves into you and lick all he can and you start to feel an incredible warmth rising from your core, in your tummy, to your chest.

He finally lets his index and middle finger sliding into you, pumping slowly in and out of your dripping wet cunt.

“Joel, oh my God I - ha! - I can’t, oh God”

“Yes, you can. Just like that, baby, give it to me” he whispers softly against your skin.

You’re on the verge of coming, the most incredible orgasm is knocking at your senses, overwhelming and brutally crushing into you.

“I’m com - oh GOD - yes,Joel, fuck”

He praises you again “come for me, soak my fingers, come on”

And you do. You gush all over his fingers like it was the last thing you do in the world, your legs shake and your heart reach an impossible pace that leaves you breathless.

He keeps licking and pumping into you until you calm and you can’t take your eyes off him bowed between your thighs, he drives you wild.

He stands up grunting at his poor knees and you giggle, he raises an eyebrow at you

“I wouldn't laugh considering the fact that I just made you scream my name”

He sits down on the couch next to you, circling your waist with his big strong arm and pushing you against him.

You bury your face in his chest “Aw, you’re so touchy, Miller” and you giggle again.

“You’re such a little brat.” He says, stroking your hair “But see? I wasn’t lying. It's been many years since I last did this but I still know what to do”

You raise your eyes at him “yeah, I give you that. You���re fucking good” and you place a kiss on the hairless part of his beard “but I-”

“What?” he interrupts you, looking at you maliciously

You bite your lower lip, feeling hot again just for the way he’s holding you tightly watching you with lust in his eyes.

“I want your cock”

“Oh. It’s time to beg, baby”

“Joel…”

“Beg for it, little finch” he’s smiling but his voice is firm and slightly authoritative

“I never beg” you scoff

“You will start now, sweetie, if you want to see me naked”

You look at him with exasperation, rolling your eyes immediately after “okay, Jesus. Can you please give me your cock?”

“Manners, babe. Ask gently”

You ask yourself what have you done wrong to fall for such an unbearable man “Good Lord”

“Beg with conviction”

“Joel Miller, could you do me the courtesy of fucking me? Please?”

You’re smirking hard. You definitely love to get on his nerves.

“You’re getting into trouble with this attitude, you know that?” He reaches one of your nipples and pinches it hard making you whimper into his arms.

You turn serious, looking him in the eyes intensely, licking your lip before saying “Fuck me, Joel. Please.”

“Mmm yes, just like that baby, it didn't take much”

He finally stands up in front of you. He takes off his shirt, revealing a strong, broad chest.

You can see a thin strip of hair disappearing under his jeans but apart from that he is almost hairless, his skin is delightfully dotted with freckles that make your mouth water.

He throws off his shirt and bends over to remove his boots.

Your eyes linger on his back, on his tense, rippling muscles, you can't believe how gorgeous he is, after all you think it was worth begging for this but you will never tell him.

He unzips his jeans and takes them off, remaining in his boxers. The sight of his deliciously soft tummy drives you completely insane. You’re craving him like you never did with anyone before.

“Kneel on the couch for me, baby” he orders and you immediately do, you turn your head just in time to see him taking off his boxers, freeing his already hard and swollen cock. Your knees sink into the pillows and your hands rest on the armrest, you are completely exposed to his will.

He gets behind you on his knees, gripping your hips and pulling you towards him.

“Fuck me Joel, please, fuck me now” you cry

“Such a good girl, begging for my cock like that. You learn quickly, little finch”

You only feel the tip poking at your entrance, he slides his cock against your dripping folds “Beg once more, babe”

You writhe, it’s more than you can take right now, you want him desperately.

“Please, Joel. Please” your voice sounds distraught but you don’t care, not now.

He enters you with a single thrust that makes you scream “Fuck!”

He’s big, so big that his cock burns in your center.

“I told you you were getting into trouble, baby, if you wanted me to be gentle you should have behaved better”

It's a small punishment you can bear, after a few seconds you already got used to his intrusion, you never felt so full before and right now you couldn’t ask for anything better.

He begins to move slowly, in and out of you, sinking deeper each time and reaching that spot that makes you see stars.

His loud grunts numb your head, his fingers dig into your hips as he thrusts into you, maybe he will leave some marks and the thought excite you even more.

“Oh God, please don’t stop, please”

He’s pounding into you incessantly, every thrust more deep leaving you short breath, you’re so wet that every lewd sounds coming from your cunt is making you feel like you’re on the brink of falling apart.

“Fuck, you look so pretty like that, babe, the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen, so perfect for me”

You whine even more at his praises, feeling your pussy clenching hard around his cock.

“Joel please I’m-”

“I know baby, I know, I can feel you, squeezing my cock just right, God you’re taking me so good”

You basically spasm on his cock right now, legs trembling as your sink your fingers in the fabric of the couch desperately trying to hold your posture.

He holds you tightly by your hips, grunting with each thrust into you, hitting your cervix again and again.

“Come for me baby, come all over my cock”

You’re quivering so hard that you almost think of being on the verge of losing your mind.

You cry his name feeling so full and dazed while your orgasm explodes inside you.

He pumps into you until you calm down but he’s still throbbing against your walls “Where do you want me?”

“On my tits - please”

He comes out of you and you lie down on his couch, his throbbing cock is in front of you, he takes it in his hand, milking it a couple of time before releasing his cum all over you. He moans loudly as he paints your tits and chest with his pleasure.

He lies down on top of you, groaning “God, this was amazing”

You feel his sticky seed spreading on your skin but you don't care, you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him softly.

He moves to the side so as not to weigh you down and takes you in his arms again.

You hide your face for a moment in the crook of his neck, inhaling his woody, citrusy perfume, with a hint of the natural sweaty scent of his skin. He smells amazingly.

“I could get used to it” you giggle

“Me too, little finch” and he leaves a kiss on your hair.

“Oh, you made completely forgot about it, do you know what day it is today?”

“No, should I?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you. It’s my birthday.”

His eyes widen, “Really?”

“Yep”

“Well then happy birthday. Did you like your present?”

“It’s the best I’ve ever received”

You kiss him again, knowing how true it is.

“We should take a shower,” he laughs.

“Yeah, you’re… well…all over me…but to be honest, I like it.”

He smiles widely “Come on little finch, I might have another gift for you in the bathroom”

“Oh, then I can’t wait to unwrap it”

[crappymixtape]

soft sweet sounds

EDIT -> there’s a part II cos 🫠 — okay, well apparently you get this from horny!me at 7:30am on a monday ( idk what my problem is 😵‍💫 ) – roommate!steve comes home from work to hear you in your room upset and he just can't help himself from offering you a shoulder to cry on | ( 958 words – roommates -> something?, tiny fluff, tiny smut, steve x you )

S O F T S W E E T S O U N D S 🎶 touch tank, quinnie

It had seemed silly to Steve at first, living with you. Living with his best friend, but it was cheap and made paying the bills easier because god knew Family Video wasn’t making him rich anytime soon. And you’d figured out a routine, shared your work schedules, told each other when you’d be out late or staying over with your boyfriend — or Steve with someone else. Cooked dinner together and watched movies until 1am and no pressure. Ever.

Until now.

He’d just come home from his shift at Family Video and could hear soft crying coming from behind your door. His stomach twisted with worry as he sat his keys on the counter, wondering what happened, wondering what your asshole boyfriend did this time.

Steve hated him. Your boyfriend. He was a complete douchebag and if it wasn’t him forgetting to pick you up at work it was making plans and flaking out an hour before, so you’d have to excuse Steve for assuming your crying was his fault.

Walking down the hallway Steve pressed a his palm to you door, the other resting on the handle.

“Hey,” he called out, gentle, sympathetic, “Everything okay?” And as he slowly pushed it open, he swore what he saw was going to kill him right there on the spot.

Your cries weren’t cries at all, not even close to sad or upset as his brain worked overtime to process what he’d walked in on.

You.

Laid out all pretty on your bed.

Panties hooked around your knees and your shirt rucked up your stomach. Hand pressed between your thighs as your fingers drew tight, messy circles over your clit. A pinch between your brows with how good it was making you feel, so good you didn’t hear the door at first, but then you did hear Steve.

Heard him asking if you were okay.

Heard him coming into your room without knocking and it was all just a second too late.

“Oh shit–Jesus Christ–oh my god–I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, fuck-“

“Steve??” you gasped, yanking your sheets over your body in a failed attempt to hide as he practically tripped over his own feet and back out into the hallway.

“Fuck. Shit,” he pressed his back into the wall, chest heaving and heart hammering heavy against his ribcage, unable to breathe. What was he thinking??

A huge invasion of privacy. A fucking rookie move. ‘Doesn’t anyone knock anymore??’ he hears a voice mock in his head. There’s no way you’d trust him after that.

Burying his face in his hands he groaned, you idiot! Waited for you to yell at him to get out, to take his things and find somewhere else to live, but then your door slowly opened again revealing a sliver of your face. Cheeks flushed and pink, a lighter tinge than the deep red that had settled on his.

“Shit,” he hissed under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut for a minute as he let out a heavy sigh. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I just heard crying and–but obviously you weren’t crying—I just thought something bad happened and–and I know how he can get sometimes, so I thought you were upset and maybe I’d try and cheer you up, but I didn’t know you were in there doing that and–“

“Steve,” you said softly, cheeks still pink. Still warm from teasing yourself. Still warm from Steve, “It’s okay.”

He opened his eyes slowly and looked at you through the crack in the door. Your curls perfectly messed. Framing your face. The soft curve of your lips, the long sweep of your lashes, the half smile you were giving him and he exhaled. A small sigh of relief.

“I’m really sorry,” he said again, features still pulled down with concern as he roughed his hands through his hair, still stressed and worried about what you’d think of him now.

“It’s okay, it was really sweet of you to worry about me,” you reassured him, opening the door a little more. Enough for him to see you’d put on a pair of pajama shorts, you shirt half tucked into the waistband in haste.

“Sure, course,” he murmured, the lines of worry on his face melting at the sound of your voice.

“I broke up with him,” you confessed, chewing at your bottom lip. The sting of having an ex now instead of a boyfriend still fresh, but the lack of weight on your shoulders told you you’d made the right decision.

“Oh,” fell from his lips softly, sorry again, his mouth pulling down into a half frown again.

“I know,” a small sigh pushed itself from your lungs as you leaned against the door frame, wrapping your arms around yourself.

“Anything I can do?” Steve asked, and he meant it. He’d give you the world and all the stars and galaxies. Give you whatever you asked for. Anything.

“Uhm,” you murmured, a little shy, but feeling bolder as Steve took a step toward you. His hair falling messy across his forehead, big brown eyes edged with long lashes. Your best friend. Your roommate. Your Steve. His lips parted ever so slightly, hanging on your silence. Waiting.

Anticipating.

“Could you help me?” you asked, swallowing down the nerves in your throat as your hand reached out to tangle your fingers up with his.

“H–help you?” Steve’s voice sounded strangled, like he couldn’t quite understand what you were asking of him, and so you decided to show him instead.

“Yeah, please?” and you lifted the hand that was wrapped up in his and pressed his palm against the plush of your waist. Pulled him back into your room. Tugged him down into you and kicked the door shut behind you and asked him to help you forget about things for just a little while.

crappymixtape™ • steve harrington masterlist // stranger things masterlist ♥️ reblogs and comments keep me going, friends! ily! ♥️

[eoieopda]

[visual content blog recommendations]

we see fic recs all the time, but i don’t think i’ve ever seen rec lists for visual content (gif/art/gfx/etc.) creators! they’ve been dealing with a bunch of shit lately between reposts, tumblr garbage, etc., so i wanna shout-out some favorites. thank you for keeping us fed!!

disclaimer: this is not an exhaustive list!! if you have recommendations of your own, please feel free to expand on this yourself and/or drop some of your faves in the replies for others to see. self-promo is always welcome here, too ✨ p.s. some of these are recent finds for me, so pls expect to see more of them on my blog. eta: i will be adding more as i go!!

[bts]

@yooboobies — réka’s gif sets are *chef’s kiss* and the ART? omg. the talent!!! 😭 we simply have to simp.

@cordiallyfuturedwight — apart from being one of the coolest/funniest people i’ve found on army tumblr, i am a kayla stan because the niche themes for her gif sets (ex. bangtan turtlenecks series) feel like they’re made 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 me 👏🏻 even though they absolutely aren’t, lmao.

@hopeinthebox — the bts as reductress headline + incorrect bangtan series are probably my favorite pieces of content on the entire internet??? also, lizzy is absolutely gd hilarious. tags are 11/10. a blessing upon my dash.

@kimtaegis — i’m not visually artistic enough to say this in a way that makes sense, but annie’s gifs are just… stunning? like, the colors? idk about the process that goes into that, but i imagine it takes a lot of time/finesse to be this vivid.

@kithtaehyung — ryen is the renaissance man of army tumblr, fr. not only can she write (like!!!) but she’s multi-faceted and insanely creative with her graphic design. i want her to tutor me, lmao.

@raplinenthusiasts — ooohhhhh my god. the coloring of their gifs makes my brain go brrrrtttt. this bts x the office set is on my “always reblog” list; i’ll share it every time i come across it.

@heybaetae — this set in particular is on my “always reblog” list, no matter how many times i’ve done so already. also, idk how to describe this, but kelli’s gifs are just…. crispy 🤌🏻 like, so satisfying with the…. texture? filtering? contrast? i’m an idiot re: editing terms, but go peep them and you’ll know what i’m trying to say.

@kth1 — literally who could ever forget maggie’s 100 days of (member) series??? the amount of work that had to go into that? unfathomable.

@jeurias — i want to wallpaper my house and office with their gfx. i’m deadass.

@jinstronaut — emmeline has been doing her “a jin a day while he’s away” series for OVER 250 DAYS NOW. i have never been nor will i ever be able to commit to anything to this level.

[multi/skz/atz/svt/etc.]

@starryoong — do not get me started on starry’s paintings, sketches, etc. because i will never shut up. ever. j’adore 🫠 is also a five-star human being.

@irlvernon — my queue is probably 80% max gifs at any given time. god-tier, fr. a must-follow for carats, as far as i’m concerned.

@vcrnons — incredible gifs, lovely human, and also the writer of some of my favorite svt fics??? we stan.

@yelhsaart — i don’t have any words for how much i love their art so please imagine guttural screaming instead. asdfghjkl!!!

@hizuillu — ……breathtaking. legitimately stunning skz art. like…… i have heart palpitations.

@snug-gyu — THE USE OF COLORS. i’m always a simp for pantone-inspired sets; they just scratch an itch in the back of my brain, and BOY HOWDY, is my brain satisfied 😵‍💫

@yunwooz — again, i have no idea what i’m talking about when it comes to the gif-making process, but the colors!!! the COLORS!!! like, taking a mv that’s not super vivid/is fairly greyscale and bringing it to life? ya know????

@booskwan — you want incredible gifs? they’ve got em. you want stunning gfx? they’ve got em. seriously, idk what to tell you except “pause right here and go follow immediately”.

@haechannabelle — listen……. annabelle’s art style is 😗🤌🏻 (that’s a chef’s kiss). the use of color, and the technique, and and and — ! ALSO, i must mention that she took, like, 50 hours to compile a boycott-friendly k-pop playlist. their vibes are simply impeccable.

rev. 4/10/24

[miseta]

Chapitre 4 ➺ Hell Clasico

Starting over In Madrid

Misa Rodriguez x Reader (Nicky/first person)

After moving to Madrid as the new Real Madrid photographer, Nicky's eyes can't look away from the pretty face of Misa Rodriguez. But how is she going to handle her growing desire for the Canarian goalkeeper when her working contract's strictly forbidding her to date players?

Chapter 1 ➺ A harder job than I thought Chapter 2 ➺ Clearly on a bad slope Chapter 3 ➺ Calmly panicking

4K words

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"You don’t come after training because we’re still grounded ?" 

Misa’s text made my heart lifted. With the Clasico and games abroad coming, I had a huge amount of work that was keeping me out of the stadium. I had shut myself in my office for three days now, importing, retouching photos, thinking about the next games’s visuals… Due to the fact that resisting the goalkeeper was becoming more and more difficult, I had to admit I was relieved to be able to avoid her.

I thought a moment about what to answer. As soon as she had stood up from that bench on the evening at the park, Misa had been her funny self again. She had joked happily. We had said goodbye at the entrance of the parking. Like friends do. If she had been disappointed, she had been hiding it well. 

And now she was texting about me for not coming to our photo meeting in a casual yet flirty way again…

"Feels like I’m the grounded one… work is having me trapped in my office!" I texted back.

"👉🤓" 

"🫠👋"

She started typing and stopped. Her text bubble didn’t reappeared. I sighted. I hated having to be distant with her. I sighted again and buried myself back into work. 

Fifteen minutes later, loud erratic knocks boomed against the door of my office.  "What…?". Without waiting, Misa, Hayley and Sofie burst into the room. "Here she is ! You believed to could get rid of us that easy Nicky?" Hayley asked while the three girls came around my desk. Misa had bring a ball and severals biscuits with her. "What are doing here?!" I said already annoyed. I had a feeling they weren’t here to help me… 

"We’re checking if you’re still Nicky and not a robot." Misa dropped the biscuits on my desk and started to play with her ball, making it rebound between her foot and thigh. Sofie was leaning toward my computer’s screen. "Do you have new photos of me?". Hayley was observing my cameras under every angles. "I’ve never seen this one, would you recommend it Nicky?" The dull sound of the ball rebounding rhythmically was constantly filling the room. I wasn’t believing how fast they had created such a mess.   

"Guys, a girl needs to focus right now!" I said, eyes closed, a hand on my forehead. "Oh, you can keep working, don’t mind us." Hayley had taken a camera and was back at taking pictures. Sofie joined Misa and they went passing each other the ball. There was no way I was going to be able to concentrate in this chaos. 

Edit just ten more photos tonight. I said to myself. I grabbed back my pencil and graphic tab, opened a photo of Olga striking, and started to erase an unwanted grass twigs on one of her socks.

On the corner of my eye, I saw Misa’s face approaching the screen while chewing a mouthful of biscuits. "What’s this? Are you drawing?" She pointed at my tablet. The sound of the ball was still resounding, Sofie had taken over. A few crumbles fell off the goalkeeper’s mouth. "Misa! The keyboard !" I blowed hard on it to make them go away. "Perdòn!" She stood back and tried to swallow her snack. She gestured to me to explain again.

That girl can be such a pain !

"No, I can’t draw, I’m just correcting details. A pen is more precise that a mouse". I said to her.

"Oh vale ! Can I try It ?" I glared at her. "I mean not now! When you have the time. And… I can teach you football in exchange". She ended up showing an innocent smile.

That girl will drive me mad! 

"Misa! Leave Nicky alone and come to my IG Live, the fans wants to see you !" Sofie called from the farthest corner.

"Coming! Nicky, take a biscuit, son muy buenos!"

They kept going like this until they were forced to leave with me. I had painfully managed to do half the work I wanted to be over. Tomorrow is another day, they say. 

***

Alas, next day was just the same. They came after their practice and occupied themselves more loudly than ever until my boss finally came to have them go away. With all of that, it was miracle I had finished everything at a rather early time on the eve of the Clasico. That meant I could attend the motivation speech that followed today’s training session.  

Sitting in the stands, the speech wasn’t captivating after all. Maybe I hadn’t enough knowledge of football to really get it but I found it lasting forever. The players weren't into it either. Olga’s legs were showing signs of impatience. Linda was slowly drifting. But despite my tiredness, I wanted to check on Misa and Hayley, so I kept waiting. 

I caught them at the building exit. I could sensed their nervousness behind the frank smiles they both gave me as a greeting. 

"Hey Nicky, great speech eh..?" Hayley hugged me, she was so tensed. "Thanks for waiting but I need go home. I’m off, girls, see you tomorrow !" Misa patted her shoulder as she left and she roughly brushed her hair in return. 

I turned to the goalkeeper. "How are you coping?" I asked her gently. She shifted her weight from one leg to the other. "Estoy bien…", she answered peering down, her foot kicking at the floor vainly. She obviously wasn’t. 

"Do you want to walk ?" I said without any back thoughts. I just wanted to help my friend to feel a bit better. She nodded. 

We went touring the sport campus. We tried to talked about anything but the Clasico. At first, Misa was jumping in place every now and then to get rid of her stress. She relaxed when we started to tease each other. 

"Misa, you can’t be with a ball without showing off! That’s insane!". 

She smirked. "I’m athlete Nicky! Football is my life, of course I play with my ball all the time". She side glance at me, her mischievous tone and satisfied smile back. "I did 65 rebounds yesterday." 

I giggled "Is that much ?". Misa’s both disappointed and irritated air had me laughing out loud. 

She slapped me on the arm "Jajaja, muy divertido! Enhorabuena Nicky! I don’t care about what a girl who work al Real Madrid and knows nothing about football thinks!" 

It was my turn to faint annoyance. "I see trainer Misa is long gone before she even started… you are a very reliable person." She opened her mouth but was out of answer. I had had her sulking again. Grumpy Misa was one of my favorite. 

I took a pleading look. "All right, you are the best Misa! Now, when do we start training ?" I was sure the training part would lift her spirit. 

She side-eyed me again, still vexed. "Have you at least ever play football ?". 

I pretended to search my mind. "It happened... twice maybe. First was at school, and second on the alley in front of my parent’s house". 

She snorted. "No es posible…" She shook her head and continued, her voice suddenly curious. "For real, why did you want to work for a football club?" Her mocking tone gone had me really wonder how much I wanted to tell. 

"I needed a change in my life. Anything was… not going well. I had a rough break up and was really unhappy in my previous job…"

"I’m sorry to hear that" she said with a concerned look. 

I half laughed half sighted. "It’s ok now. I’m glad to be here. I really like Madrid". We were reaching the exit of the building again. 

"Bueno… and do you like your new job too ?" 

"Yes, I’m quite found of it… and of my new exasperating friends" I went back teasing her a little as we headed to the parking. 

"I’m happy you’re good with us", she said, not reacting on the teasing part this time. 

We arrived in the middle of the car park. I didn’t know if we were going in the same direction so I gestured on the right  "I’m parked this way". 

"I’m parked over here but I’ll go with you to your car, I can do with walking a bit more " she replied although she sounded far less stressed now. 

We reached my vehicle and faced each other to say goodbye. "Thanks Nicky" Misa softy spoke. Her features were less drawn. The walk had soothed her a little. 

"You’re looking better. Are you sure you’re ready to go home ?" I inquired one last time. 

She opened her mouth but nothing came out. Instead she simply smiled and looked away. "Misa?" I frowned not knowing how to help her anymore. 

Her head turned back to me. She bit her lip and her eyes stopped on mine. Then she slowly moved forward. My brows went up, having me frozen in a surprised look as she took my hands in hers, and I knew that that was it, that there’s was no escaping this time, and that I didn’t gave a fuck.

I half closed my eyes, my head slightly bowed while she leant over. My gaze stayed on her quivering mouth as she approached mine. At last, she pressed her lips. I let out a short breath. I was surprise by the tenderness of her kiss. Her mouth was soft, its movements slow.

I kissed her back. Letting relief fill me up. Completely abandoning myself as her taste and scent washed over me. Our noses brushed against each other. The grip of our hands tighten as we went on kissing, softly still, slowly still. 

Finally, she withdrew her lips from mine, a soft smile lingering on them, having me missing their contact immediately. My eyes couldn’t leave hers. 

"I’m ready now" she whispered. I exhale and shyly smiled and she released my hands. "Good night Nicky ». She stepped back and turned over. My gaze followed her until she disappeared behind the birch trees growing between the parking spaces. 

***

Aitana Bonmati was running fast, dribbling everyone coming for her. She armed her strike and shoot between Ivana and Olga toward the penalty area. The ball landed right on Salma precise foot who immediately kicked hard at the upper left corner of the goal. Misa jumped with all her strength and the tip of gloves deflated the ball, preventing Barcelona to strike once again. 

The match had been hard and demanding from the very beginning. Barça team had been pressing Real Madrid players, having them constantly cornered near their penalty area. Misa had already saved five goals but as Mariona Caldentey had outpasted all the defenders for the third time and send a particularly well aimed kick to Caroline Graham Hansen, the goalkeeper had gone on the wrong direction and the ball had rolled easily in the cage. Misa had sweared, gotten up, and send a long clearance skillfully recovered by Hayley. Hayley was a fast runner too. She had passed the ball to Athenea, who had dribble passed Irene Paredes and used the one second of disorganization to find Linda. The kick from Linda’s head had miraculously flied through the expert gloves of Cata Coll, and crashed on the net behind her, filling the stadium with unexpected joy. 

Returning from the halftime, Barça had pressed harder and harder without succeeding at scoring yet an other goal. After a clever discussion in locker room during the break, the real Madrid was holding well against them for the first time, Misa’s many saves putting and end to theirs brilliant sequences of passes. And the unbelievable had happened at de 78th min. Naomie had succeeded at loosing Alexia Putellas’marker to get the ball from Oihane’s throw-in. Her quick arched shot had found Olga on the left side, who had managed a shot worthy of the World Cup. She had stricken from her rather distant position straight at the right upper corner, giving Cata Coll an impossible job. The stadium had burst screaming, echoing Madrid players all hugging together to celebrate their first time ever leading Barcelona. 

It was extra time when Misa’s body crashed on the grass again from saving Salma’s strike. The Madrid player were back at having a hard time. I could see they were physically drained, their feet barely touching the ball anymore. 

They all took position, ready for the corner, Misa giving directions to her teammates as she prepared herself for the upcoming action. Salma struck. She crossed the ball back from the goal line. The ball descended on Alexia in a perfect neat curve before she sent it crashing to the net. Barcelona had come up to the score, victory slipping through the Madrid girls'fingers at the 95th minute. Now, the match was going extra time. I saw Misa down in her attempt to save to ball, kicking the grass with her fists in frustration. As well trained as they were, the team was exhausted. With Barça clearly dominating, the extra time was going to be a living hell. 

Misa passed by me as she exit the tunnel to ran toward her goal after the short break. I took a shot of her face, a mix of deep concentration and extreme fatigue. My heart sank. I had been covering the match with other photographers from the start, trying hard to focus on my job rather than on the ongoing actions and the increasing pressure on Misa. 

The game resumed. Madrid team formed two compact lines in front of the goal. They had received new guidelines: keep on defending and don’t take another goal at all cost. Their strategy, and Ivana’s agile foot prevented a new shot on target finding the net. The only two more attempts of Madrid met Cata’s gloves, her clearance sending the ball back on their half pitch again. But, they hold on again and again the entire the first half of extra time.

During the second, fouls and cramps multiplied on each sides, chopping the play in numerous sloppy actions and hardening the footballer’s job by giving them unnecessary minor injuries. Misa’s attempt to grab a shot by Mariona sent her rolling on ground and her knee hit the goal-post. The ball luckily found the cross-bar and was quickly cleared by Kathellen. But Misa was still down, grasping her knee between the puffy fingers of her gloves. I shuddered. No please! Let not it be a serious injury! I silently prayed. The medical staff came over after the referee had blown the whistle. With several of her teammates surrounding, I could barely see what was going on. 

I waited, trying to breathe properly, not looking at the last picture I took of Misa, curled up on the grass, her features distorted by pain. After what was feeling like an hour, the med staff went away and the small crowd scattered, revealing Misa standing on her feet again, though she was breathing hard and slightly limping. I relaxed a little.

The goalkeeper settled back in front of her caged but she gave the ball to Ivana for her to do a long clearance. She clearly hadn’t the strength anymore. The ball was back in her penalty area in a heartbeat but the match had Madrid finally find the key to put up a very strong defence. When the whistle blew again, it was to put an end to the game at last. 

The penalty shoot out would decide the winner of the Copa de la Reina. More than ever, the outcome of the match was now resting mostly on Misa’s shoulders.

The goalkeeper and the rest of the team gathered around the trainer near the bench. I crossed eyes with Misa and I smiled, my fist clenched up in the air to show her my support. She didn’t seemed to see me. Nothing exists apart from the game when she was playing. 

Madrid opened the shoot out with Olga. She shot, scored. Cheers burst. 

Misa jumped on her line. Caroline Graham Hansen scored as well. 

Claudia kicked hard on her right but Cata had understand where she was aiming. Her body blocked the ball, having Barça yelling in triumph. 

Aitana scored. 

Athenea scored. 

Mariona scored.

Hayley scored.

Last ball. All was resting on Misa. If she failed the ball, everything was over. 

Alexia armed her leg. Kicked. The ball flew on the opposite of the goalkeeper. 

It was it. Madrid had lost. I forgot to take pictures, focusing on the limp body of Misa still laying on her back, her gloves on her face. As the Barcelona players hugged together in victory, the sturdy figure of Alexia was crouched at Misa side, muttering to her words I could not hear. She heaved Misa to her feet, helped her taking off her gloves. I could see her face wet with tears, her eyes puffed and closed as she was still sobbing. They leaved the pitch, Alexia’s arm over Misa’s shoulders. One of other photograph was shooting restlessly at them while they headed toward the tunnel. I couldn’t suppress a surge of anger. 

I got up, quickly took the steps that separated me from the man with the camera. 

"Give her a rest ok ?!" I shouted in his direction. The man stared blankly at me, astonished. In addition to my strange behavior, he probably wasn’t speaking English. 

Noticing my action, Misa and Alexia had stopped. When she saw me close, Misa lowered her head as if she couldn’t bear to look at me. Alexia stared kindly at me, guilt still her eyes as she knew she had partly caused the sadness of her friend. 

"I can take her to the locker room if you want" I said, instantly shocked by my own words when I couldn’t leave my job. 

Misa lifted her face again. Alexia looked at the goalkeeper to see if she was ok with that. Misa nodded and I took over Alexia to guide her through the tunnel. 

I made Misa sat on the farthest bench of the locker room. Everything was quiet here, the screeches of the celebration only a distant echo. The goalkeeper had stopped crying. Her board shoulders and muscular body seemed so fragile somehow. I took a seat beside her, not knowing what to do now it was up to me to comfort her. 

"I’m sorry" I simply said.

"We were so close!" she cried. "Let’s just go! I don’t want to be there, I don’t want the puta silver medal again!" She blown her nose hard and rubbed her red eyes with a towel laying by. Exhaustion was oosing from her at every levels. 

"No Misa you can’t go" I responded and caught a surprised side eye, as surprise as she could be in her current state. "You can’t go because everything’s not about wining or being better or best ! You can’t go because football doesn’t have to be that. It’s not about the score, the cup or whatever. Football is an emotion, a battle, a shared experience. And first and foremost it’s a spectacle and you put on one hell of a show as a team and as a player tonight! If you go, nothing remain, it would mean nothing. You have to go back Misa." 

Silence settled between us. I felt exposed and embarrassed by the words I had just spoken. It was ridiculous, saying obvious things like that to a seasoned footballer when I was barely discovering the sport. 

The goalkeeper exalted deeply. "You lied to me" she said, gotten me confused. She chuckled softy "You acted like you didn’t know a thing about football". She painfully stood up and waved me to do the same. "But you do" she said smiling as we faced each other. The tall woman pulled me into a hug, her head resting on my shoulder and I hold her tight against me. I gently stroked her back, her jersey was wet and she was clearly stinking of sweat but I didn’t care. I just wanted us to stay like this, clump together.

After a minute or so, we parted and smiled softy at each other. In spite of her weariness, Misa was looking less drained. She was waiting for... something while expectantly looking at me. Her dimples back with her grin enlighten her tired face. I kept smiling, my mind racing to figure out what I should do, what I could do… what I wanted do to. When she thought I wouldn’t do anything, Misa’s smile faded a little and she started to turn around. 

"Misa, wait…" I grabbed her arm and pulled her back against me. I only took a glimpse of her surprised yet eager face before I kissed her.

I grasped her face, pressed her mouth harder against mine. Misa let out a whine, the sound of it had my body set afire. I slowly made her step back until she hit the lockers room’s door. She gasped at the contact, put one of her hand in my hair, the other gripping the fabric of the bottom of my shirt. She opened her lips, her taste filled me up entirely and had me moan with want.

Our heated kiss had enlighten all my senses and turned my body into white iron. I felt my hand acting on her own as it went under Misa’s jersey and up her abs. She wimped again, her own fingers going under my shirt and touching the skin of my waist. Her soft and full lips were enveloping my mouth, our breathings had become jerky.

Fevered by my desire of her, I led my hand down her stomach to the strap of her shorts. She groaned and froze. "Wow! Nicky wait…" I stopped neat. She took her hands off my back and gently seized my face. "I have to go back" she said, a burning gaze on me. I breathed, trying to tame the flames devouring my insides. I smiled and repeated, "You have to go back". She placed a last kiss on my lips and got off the room.

Right now, Hell Clasico was finishing on a heavenly note.

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Chapter 5 ➺ Valleys and peaks

[asgoodeasgold]

Silver fox Matthew

I think this is a Matthew Goode thing, rubbing his buzzcut. He does it in interviews as well. It's 🫠🫠.

Also, silver fox Matthew 🩶🦊, hello!

Anyway, on a less shallow note (yes, sorry about that), Official Secrets is a wonderful film (essential viewing really, based on a true story) with a fantastic cast, and Matthew is great as foreign affairs editor for The Observer Peter Beaumont. I highly recommend it.

I wonder if Matthew used the dog clippers again for this one? 😆

📷 Official Secrets (2019) my edits

[spiderlandry]

steady ticking of a clock (part 1) — ethan landry

Description: You and Ethan became childhood friends when you began talking to each other across your balconies in New Jersey. You both reunite in New York City, older and yet still young; consequently making Ethan face what could have been and what could be.

Pairing: Ethan Landry x GN!Reader (they/them)

Warnings/Tags: unedited (but will edit soon🤝), fluff, angst, open ending but it will be resolved in part 2 🫠, a bit unrealistic college life but for plot reasons

Word Count: 3.4k

Author’s Note: ignore the new york/jersey inaccuracies ive never been there

Ethan once came up with a plan to stay in one spot forever. A point in time that he can live over and over again, never having to move forward with the uncertainty of what shall come next. That point was his childhood aprtment in New Jersey, the week before you left. His solution was a time machine—and he laid out his plans to you when you were almost teenagers.

Your apartment was right next to his. Your balconies were close enough that you could hold a conversation, and your secret meetings soon became the highlight of Ethan’s day. It may have been the mystery of it all; always separated by a fissure between the two platforms but still finding a way to communicate.

Ethan knew the reason he spoke to you was because he felt bad that you were new to the building, and overheard you talking on the phone to a friend back home and telling them that you’d felt lonely in the new city. He even surprised himself with the way he began the conversation with demanding you become his friend rather than asking politely like his father taught him to.

You never had the chance to talk to him face-to-face until you broke the news of your moving to another state once again. It was a vivid memory, the way Ethan’s heart cracked, and he rushed over out into the hallway and told you to meet him out there. He hugged you and said, I’m going to make a time machine so we can live here forever.

Perhaps he had taken your presence for granted, because the next week, you were gone. He never went out into the balcony again.

And now, in New York City, at a frat party Chad dragged him to, Ethan began to think that maybe it wasn’t too late to change his major to theoretical physics and get started on that time machine.

Because you were there. In front of him.

Though you were older, taller, and had an air of confidence around you he‘d never seen but figured you could always have—your smile never changed. The hair was different, but the curve of your lips and the wrinkle of your nose stayed the same. You held a drink in your hand but it wasn’t alcoholic, and Ethan’s mind ran wild with the prospect of your interests and the reasons behind them. You‘ve gained more life experience, just as he had. But that excited him. He wanted to know more, know everything, and know you just as much as he knew you then.

“It’s been a while,” you said. It did a good job of snapping him out of his stupor.

“Um—yeah,” he stammered, putting his hands in his jacket pockets. “It has.”

“You live in New York?”

He scratched an invisible itch on his neck. “Since the last year of high-school. You?”

Maybe his heart broke a second time when you said, “Oh, no. I’m just visiting.”

He was so sure it worsened the one he already had from the first time you left. But there’s no way he’d let you know, if he had anything to do with it.

“How long are you gonna be here, then?” He tried to brush off the slight tremor in his voice, the way he tapered off the question. Hopefully you forgot his tells.

“I’m just here for a few days,” you shrugged. He realized that you sounded sad about it too, but maybe it was wishful thinking on his part. “I’m going back Sunday.”

He held back from asking where exactly you were going back to, but you must have read his mind because you added: “I’m in Chicago now, by the way. Probably dumb, but do you remember—“

The answer tumbled out of him on instinct. “That’s where your brother wanted to go for college.”

A sweet smile graced your face upon hearing it. “Yeah,” you chuckled. “He’s—that’s why we moved again. You go to Blackmore?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “This is just—“ he cringed when somebody bumped into him, spilling a bit of their drink. He subsequently moved to lean against the closest wall out of the way. “I don’t party. Not really. I hate it.”

Pausing, you thought for a moment. “Let’s go outside.”

Ethan hoped he still meant something to you. He was a sentimental person. When he loves somebody, that love will always be there, whether platonic or romantic. But he didn’t know what you were like. Maybe you’d become cold, or mean, though he doubted that because your smile warmed him like the sun.

“How’s the family?” You asked, keeping a short distance from the frat house, leaning against a fence.

“The same,” he sighed. “You?”

“The same.” You grinned. “Does Quinn study here, too?”

“Yeah, yeah she does.”

There was an awkward beat where neither of you knew how to continue this conversation. So much for being childhood friends, he thought.

“Are you…are you with anybody?” You suddenly asked, Ethan’s heart dropping upon hearing it.

At his bewildered expression, you clarified, “I mean at this party! Did you come here with a friend or alone?”

He laughed, relieved. “Yeah, my friend dragged me here. Why? Are you?”

“Visiting my friend. I was just asking because…you know…maybe we could ditch the party for a bit,” you shrugged.

“Really? I mean,” He was a tad too excited. He cleared his throat, reverting his voice back into a lower register, “Really?”

It was your turn to laugh. “Really. I can just text my friend, he’ll understand.”

“Where do you wanna go?”

“Anywhere.”

Walking under the moonlight with nobody else around, Ethan gradually became more comfortable getting to know you all over again. He found out you chose to follow in your brother’s footsteps in studying law in Chicago. You liked milkshakes, your cat was still alive and kicking, and your favourite food was the same as it was years ago.

You got to know him, too. He told you about his major, about his friends, about what he hated in college along with its advantages. You seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say, and though it’s not a competition or anything, he was so sure he was more interested in you than you were of him. He hung onto your every word. He finally opened up the locked box containing his most precious memories of you (every single one of them, that is), and he could add to it again.

There was no doubting of your ability to draw him back into your orbit, regardless of the time lost. Hopefully he would be the same to you.

Look, Ethan hated icebreakers. But when you suggested to play twenty-one questions, he couldn’t possibly turn you down.

They were simple questions. Favourite colour, the place you wanted to travel most, anything either of you thought of.

But you asked: “First love?”

He did not hesitate to answer: “Pass,” Ethan shook his head. “My turn.”

“Wait—hey!” You protested. “You cannot do that.”

“I can do what I want.” He was grinning, but there was a pit in his stomach telling him not to let you find out that he’d never been with anybody.

“Why don’t you wanna answer?”

“Because I don’t!”

You hummed. “I bet you’re still heartbroken,” you teased. “Fine, let’s keep going.”

He didn’t think to ask you about your first love. Maybe he did it on purpose. He really didn’t want that kind of knowledge, it would eat at him knowing he wasn’t yours.

Why, though? As you both reached Ethan’s dorm building, he looked at you—whywhywhywhywhywhy—Why did he hate the idea of him not being your first love?

He didn’t have time to think about that.

He invited you into his dorm with a smile, screaming internally.

Seeing you sitting on his dorm bed was straight out of his dreams. Surreal.

“You’re a sophomore, right?”

“Uhm, yeah.” He sat down at his desk, fidgeting with his hands. “I forgot you’re a year older than me.”

There was a few moments of silence where you were just…staring at him. He resisted cowering under your gaze because it really did look like you were just zoning out.

Unbeknownst to him, you had to force yourself to close your mouth at the sight. You had an elevated view of him just sitting there. But it was the way he sat with legs spread far apart, with a devilish grin, leaning back—how could you focus?

“I can’t believe you forgot,” you continued as if it that didn’t just happen. “I never used to let you live it down. I never would have, if I hadn’t left.”

He shook his head. He never wanted to imagine what could have happened if you stayed.

“What else would have happened?” He began. “If you stayed, I mean.”

“We probably would have gone to high school together,” you said nonchalantly. “A friend group, maybe? How was your high school experience?”

“Not…great.”

“Me too, actually. It would’ve been better if you were there.”

“Let’s change the subject,” he nervously laughed. “How’s pre-law?”

In the middle of your conversation, at almost midnight, Ethan’s phone pinged with a text from his roommate.

Chad

hey bro not gonna be home tonight im staying at taras

That’s when he got the idea.

“What?” You blurted. He looked at you, confused.

“What do you mean, what?”

“You’ve got that look.”

“What look?”

“Like you just realized something.”

He stared up at you, amazed that you could read him so easily even after the time apart.

“Do you wanna stay over?” He asked before the courage ran out. “I have some clothes you can wear, and I’ll sleep in my roommate’s room since he’s not coming home tonight.”

Thankfully, you agreed.

SATURDAY

You woke up with twenty messages from your friend asking where you were. You frantically responded saying you were fine, along with your friend cancelling plans. You went to get Ethan to wake him up.

Much to your surprise, he was already in the tiny kitchen, preparing breakfast.

“Since when do you wake up this early?” You took the mug of coffee he handed you. Even if he never knew how you liked it, it was still somehow perfect.

“Just for my special guest,” he teased. “After all, can’t have my lawyer starve to death.”

You laughed as handed you a plate and got one for him, too.

“Are you busy this weekend?” You asked.

Ethan stopped his actions for a moment, and you were sure he looked confused.

“Uh…no. Why?”

“Wanna take me sightseeing around the city? I’ve never been to New York before.”

His head tilted like a puppy, and those doe eyes certainly weren’t helping.

“What about your friend? The one you’re visiting?”

“He cancelled,” you shrugged. “We’ve been hanging out the past few days, anyway.”

The sweet boy, your Ethan, smiled and said he would take you. After you both finished breakfast, you went back to your hotel room to shower and change.

Being with Ethan again re-energized you. You didn’t know what it was about him, maybe it was how you imagined a future with him when you were kids until you were so rudely ripped from each other’s lives too soon, or how he grew up to be a good guy like you always thought.

Spending the day with him, he said he’d take you to his favourite places He called himself your tour guide.

“Oh, yeah?” You bantered, walking side by side on the street. Though the city was loud, the bubble in which you entered while with Ethan was quiet. “Are you gonna take me to all the tourist spots?”

“No,” there it was again. That devilish grin. Not devilish, not really. You were sure he didn’t mean it to be so mischievous but his half-lidded eyes made you think otherwise. “You’re getting the Ethan Special.”

“And what might that be?”

“Places that aren’t this crowded.” He shrugged. “One might even call them…underground.”

“You’re dumb,” you laughed as you reached the subway station. “Where’s the first stop?”

“You’ll find out.”

It was a tiny, locally-owned bookshop in Brooklyn. When you walked in, the old man at the counter personally greeted Ethan with a grin.

“I remember you said you love books,” Ethan mentioned sheepishly, trailing you as you gawked in awe of the shelves. “The guy who owns this place is a family friend of ours, so we got a discount. I’ll pay for whatever you want.”

Your head snapped to his direction. “No way, E. Nope.”

“What—why?”

“Books are expensive. I have my own money, anyway.”

“Come on, Y/N. Just let me pay once. My dad’s covering college costs so I’ve been saving.”

“You’re so spoiled,” you smirked. “Fine. But once. And I’ll only get one book, I don’t wanna hurt your bank account.”

“You’re so lame, dude.”

You playfully shoved him. God, the proximity between you two was intoxicating—the place was small.

He convinced to get you three books once he saw you eyeing certain ones. You reluctantly agreed, but with the promise of paying for lunch.

You kept your promise, paying for him at his favourite Indian restaurant.

Despite his insistence not to take you to touristy spots, he said he couldn’t let you leave until he took you to the Brooklyn Bridge.

Though it was crowded, it was perfect because Ethan was with you the entire time.

The way he was taking care of you, watching out for you at every moment, wasn’t lost on you at all. It warmed your heart. But you began to dread tomorrow, when you had to leave.

Ethan’s curls blew in the wind. The sun kissed his skin like it was made for him, and your heart hammered against your ribs while you stared at his side profile looking to the expanse of the river. He was beautiful. Your legs were numb but you never wanted to leave.

“Shit,” his swear caught you off guard. “I forgot I told Chad I would do the grocery shopping this week.”

“Did you tell him where you are?”

“No, he probably thinks I’m getting groceries right now.”

You smiled. “Then let’s get groceries.”

“But—but what about your trip?”

“What about it? Let’s go!” You ran ahead of him, and he chased after you.

You and Ethan went back to his dorm to drop off the books and get his car. There was something surreal about seeing him so grown-up. As kids, you never clearly envisioned becoming an adult except that you wanted Ethan in it. Sitting in the passenger seat, the domesticity of your actions made you realize how much of a disservice moving away was for your younger self. You were robbed of seeing Ethan grow up with you, somehow.

Getting groceries with Ethan was more fun than you expected. He made it fun, cracking jokes and even offering to buy you snacks.

After you’d both unloaded the groceries, Ethan asked, “What now?”

The fatigue had caught up to you rather quickly. You suggested a movie, he agreed. It was supposed to be simple.

Somehow, some way, you ended up in his arms as the sun went down. By then he had already relaxed himself against the couch and fell asleep.

You felt a buzz from your jacket pocket, a text from your friend coming through; one who knew about your spending the day with Ethan.

how was it?

i think i fell in love with him

SUNDAY

Ethan was up all night tossing, turning, and thinking. Spending a whole day with you right next to him was all he’d ever wanted in life. Forget his other dreams, he needed you. Nothing trumped how he felt being with you.

He sent you a text first thing in the morning.

when’s ur flight?

You responded a few minutes later:

at three.

doing anything today?

not really

can I take you somewhere? i’ll pick u up

You weren’t sure what he had in mind, but you agreed regardless.

Turns out, it was the Morgan Library and Museum. You marvelled as you entered, and Ethan, unbeknownst to you, admired your beauty while you turned your head up to the high ceilings.

You were to leave today. He had to tell you what was on his mind at some point before that or else he was positive he would go crazy.

In a small, particularly secluded and quiet corner in the building, he stopped walking. It took you a few seconds to realize, but when you did a few feet ahead of him, you strode back in bewilderment.

“What are you doing standing here, come on.”

“I…” he sighed. “I have to tell you something.”

Your face visibly dropped along with his heart.

“What is it?”

“I think I have f—”

You immediately held your hand up, “Don’t say it.” You whispered, glancing around as if there were people around to hear.

Ethan’s face felt hot. “Why?” You couldn’t have possibly known what he was going to say, could you? Or maybe you just read his mind so easily. “You don’t know what I’m gonna say.”

“Please, Ethan.” You knew that look. Subconsciously, your mind permanently burned his face the day you told him you were leaving. This time, though, he stood more confident, taller, more sure of himself. And you didn’t want to go down this path. You begged him not to say it.

“Let me say it,” he pleaded as you did. “I want you in my life. Forever. Preferably as—like, maybe, more than friends. Or not. Whatever you want. I can take you on dates, we’ll call every night, and I’ll visit—”

You covered his mouth with your hand, effectively cutting him off. He saw the sheen in your eyes.

“Don’t,” you whispered.

His heart shattered like you had taken a hammer to a glass wall.

Once you were sure he got the message, you took off your hand.

“We can be friends, Ethan.” You blinked back tears. “But not more than that.”

“That’s—I’m good with that.”

“You don’t understand,” you shook your head.

“I think I do.”

“You don’t.” You snapped. “Because I want to be with you, too.”

A flicker of hope in his chest extinguished in the next second.

“Then let’s be together.”

“We can’t,” you insisted. “I don’t do distance, E. And I want to this—us—right.”

You stared into each other’s eyes, both begging for opposite things in silence.

Ethan was thinking, you could tell. He clenched his jaw.

His mind looped only one scenario at this moment. One where you stayed. He let himself think about what would happen if you hadn’t left, just this once, he let himself indulge in the fantasy, and asked:

“If you stayed,” he took a deep breath, pulling you closer with a caress of your jaw. “Could…could you have fallen in love with me?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, unable to look him in the eyes. He pulled up your chin in retaliation. “I would have.”

“What about now?”

“You don’t want me to answer that.” I already have, you thought.

That was when it hit him.

You were his first love. That’s why he hated the thought of someone else getting to love you the same way he always wanted to.

His heart tied itself to yours across that balcony, years and years ago, without warning. He was meant to find you, and he knew that you would both find each other time and time again, against all odds.

“Bet you wish you made that time machine now, hm?” You joked, lightening the mood after a beat.

To his surprise, he laughed. With his heart still in pieces in your hands. Without his knowledge, you had left your future in Jersey.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Do you think it’s too late?”

“It is,” you put your arms around him, resting your head on his shoulder and reveling in his warmth. “But you know what?”

“What?”

“You don’t need it. Because we’ll be friends. Stay in each other’s lives, no matter what. Then, when the time is right…”

“We’ll find each other again.”

[madi-writes-things]

Nobody Pt. 5

(C.Sturniolo X Reader)

Summary:

Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places

Word Count: 906

TW: Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), Hurt Comfort, Crying, Not Edited, Hangover (again, I’ve never even had a full beer. So this is probably not realistic 🤷‍♀️), Liquid Tylenol (self indulgent, but I personally struggle with swallowing pills. Any thing other than my iron pills is liquid 🫠), mentions of a dead sibling/toxic family, birthday stuff

A/N: I have over 100 photos/videos from the hozier concert… it took so long to find the Chris pics 🙃.

-Madi <3

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

Pain. Excruciating pain all throughout my skull and body. I reach out and realize that Chris isn’t in the bed with me. When I finally muster up the strength to open my eyes I see a bottle of water, liquid Tylenol, and a note on the nightstand.

Out filming with the boys, I’ll be back soon. I got you the liquid Tylenol, I know you struggle with pills (especially if you’re nauseous). Make sure you drink plenty of water, and try to eat something :)

I quickly take the accurate dose of Tylenol, nearly in tears about the fact that he remembered my struggle to swallow pills. My hands shake as I lift the water to my lips, my mouth feeling dryer than the Nevada deserts. The thought of eating right now made my stomach churn. I rolled over, and tried to imagine Chris holding me. As much as it sucks, it’s the only way that I can sleep at this point.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I hated leaving her alone this morning, but our video is supposed to go up at 6:00 today and we hadn’t even filmed it yet. I left her a little note with some pain meds and water, I honestly hope that she didn’t wake up yet. The thought of her waking up disoriented, without me there is one that I’ve been trying to push to the back of my mind.

“dude, she’s fine. We’re almost home, and she probably just rolled over and went back to sleep if she did wake up.” I look at nick when he says it. I know he’s probably right, but it doesn’t stop the incessant bouncing of my legs.

I finally decide to change the subject to something that I’ve been thinking about for a while. “What are we doing for her birthday?” I know she doesn’t celebrate her birthday usually, but I think she deserves a celebration. Nick and Matt both make faces at me, conveying my thoughts. “Listen, I know that she doesn’t celebrate, and I understand why… but I want to make her feel loved, we’re basically the only family that she has.”

“we’ve tried to do birthday stuff with her…” Matt starts, staring straight ahead. “I promise you, she’ll just cry.”

Before the conversation can continue, we pull up to the house. I’m out of the car before Matt can even get the keys out of the ignition, and I’m up the stairs in no time. When I open the door she’s laying peacefully on her side, the water bottle is empty and the Tylenol has been opened.

she looks so peaceful. Her hair falls gracefully across her face, and her arms wrap around her body. As I get closer I notice something odd about the way she’s lying.

there are obvious tear tracks down her face, and he’s holding herself tight… it resembles the way that I hold her.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

I feel hands on my face before I register the fact that I even fell asleep. Soft hands, brushing the hair from my face and pulling me gently from my slumber.

“Hey baby” that when my eyes open. There he is, crouching in front of me. Chris. “There she is.” He’s practically giggling, which makes me smile.

I sit up quickly, making myself a bit dizzy. He just holds me upright, a slight look of worry in his eyes.

Suddenly his hands are on my face again, wiping away my tears. He wasn’t supposed to see that, he can’t know that I cried myself to sleep because he wasn’t there to hold me. That’s not allowed when you’re fake dating someone, you aren’t allowed to need them this much.

“”“”“”“”“”

I can’t get out of Chris’s bed. I no longer sleep in my own, and as soon as I opened my eyes this morning I regretted it. For a moment, right when I woke up, I felt like it was going to be a normal day… but then I saw the date when I opened my phone.

I contemplate trying to sleep through the day, when I hear the door creak open. I roll over to see Chris balancing a personal sized cake in one hand, and a ballon that says “20” in the other.

I’m crying before he can even make halfway to the bed. As soon as he sees me crying he rushes to set the cake down and comfort me.

“I know baby” there it is again, even when we’re alone it slips out sometimes. I live for the moments that I can pretend that he loves me too. “I know you don’t really celebrate, and I understand why, but I also think that you deserve to feel cared for and celebrated by the family around you.”

now I’m crying even harder.

I hate today, partially because it reminds me of my brother, but also because I feel like I’m not allowed to be happy on a day that centers around him. Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to celebrate, my parents practically refused to acknowledge me on my birthday after his death.

“Here, I had nick get your favorite flavor” he shows me the cake that was formerly sitting on the nightstand. He places two candles into the cake before lighting them. “Make a wish.”

I wish that this wasn’t fake, that someone could actually love me as much as Chris pretends to.

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann

[readychilledwine]

Flight Patterns Part 2

Summary - After years of hushed whispers and leads, Azriel has finally found Cassian's lost sister, Aerilyn. What he found with her was unexpected, though.

Warnings - Slight power abuse, mentions of trauma and scars. Scene jumping to ensure I got two of the dragons introduced.

A/N- We are getting a fairly calm Aerilyn in this part since they are doing everything they can to make her feel comfortable and safe, but Caged animals tend to be the most dangerous. This is also going to give us a peek at her and Rhysand and the incoming slow burn between them. The next few parts will flow smoother, but still have some jumps to ensure I get the dragons introduced quickly. Only next time might be Rhys seeing one up close. 🫠

Edited to add - my brain is not getting me the euphoria I like to have when I post, please do not be surprised if I edit this before posting part 3.. maybe I looked at it too long, maybe I'm being critical of myself, but we be here 🙃

Word Count - 4970

Part 1 Part 3

Aerilyn did not know what to think of the small being in front of her. Her first instinct was to laugh, but she held it in picking up on her less than amused body language as the male she knew from somewhere spoke to her. They'd been communicating back and forth in her first tongue for over an hour, but it was clearly something the other female struggled with. A dead language she had called it. 

Now she was testing Aerilyn's ability to speak common. "Rhys said you knew letters but cannot speak to me in this language," her voice drawled out. 

Inaccurate, Aerilyn thought to herself. But we can play this game for a little while. She cocked a brow, blinking in faked confusion. 

The female rolled her eyes. "I told them you'd be a lost cause. Feral beasts are best left to other beasts." She blinked again, knitting her brows together. She stored the insult in her mind for later, ignoring the heat pooling in her blood to bite back. 

She did know this. She had tricked the male in her head well if he thought she had less education than a child. "I assume you don't know your name then?"

"Ari," she whispered. "Name Ari."

The female nodded. "So you can understand me but not speak the language I'm speaking?" She blinked blindly again, grinning internally when silver eyes rolled in annoyance. "I will inform the High Lord." The small fae left with her arms crossed and Aerilyn sighed. She walked out the balcony, staring at the city far below her and admiring the pretty sparkling lights. 

She'd only ever seen a village from dragon back as they moved from place to place in search of food and safety. 

Her childhood with them and their riders had been happy. Filled with laughter and adventure. Until they made the mistake of traveling across the continent. 

Rumors had reached their ears of a city that would welcome riders and their drakes. Aerilyn and her mount had been left behind to guard the mountain they currently held shelter in, and one by one 6 other winged beasts returned to her. Riderless and in mourning. She was still young at that point, barely into her adulthood, and was now tasked with learning to control 6 other mounts on top of her own. 

She whistled softly 4 times, she knew they were near. And the wind shifted rotation before lightning stuck high in the clouds, revealing a large body and ever faithful wings gliding.

-

"I'd just throw her back in the woods," Mor stated. "She had 4 drakes, and we have no clue what they can do. Do you really think having her here is safe?"

Cassian growled, his fist closing tightly under the table. "She's my sister."

Azriel avoided his gaze, jaw slightly clenched as he stated the one fact they all knew. "She's dangerous and a liability. We can't even speak to her to tell her we mean her and them no harm."

Amren rolled her eyes. "I think she's lying about that. I think she can speak common. I think she chooses not to. Just as all riders have throughout the history of time."

Amren shifted as all eyes landed on her. "She knew I was asking her name. Her accent is thick and heavy, but she pronounced everything clearly instead of struggling through it like a truly uneducated and mute fae would."

Cassian shook his head at Amren in disbelief. "She lived in the woods, Am. There's no way-"

"She speaks a completely dead language last used by dragon riders," Amren cut him off, annoyance slipping into her tone as she stared at the general as if he had gone stupid overnight. "She is somehow alive after her wings were cut so deeply that parts of her skin were still attached. Or did you forget the condition you received them at your feet in?" Amren turned her head to the window as a flash of lightning appeared from nowhere. "She may have been alone when you found her, but she wasn't always alone."

Rhysand jumped as a loud crash of thunder shook the mountain. "It wasn't supposed to rain today," Azriel said slowly as he moved towards the window. "We need to warn people to get inside. Look at how dark the clouds are." 

Amren's eyes went to the clouds, a small smirk on her face. "We're about to see one of the beasts in her arsenal. Might want to go calm your little mate, Rhysand"

Rhys shook his head. "Velaris is shielded from magic. My people and court are safe."

Mor spoke softly, a reminder to everyone in the room. "Not all drakes attack with magic, Rhys. Some can use the elements. Summoning the storm was the only magic it used, and the shield doesn't stop weather. Now, it gets to control the severity of it." 

As if confirming Morrigan's warning, lightning struck Ramiel and thunder shook the ground again as rumble fell from the mountain top. The jaws of the three Illyrian males all twitched. 

The sky became a show of lights as heavy rain began to pound down on the court, gathering faster than the ground and Sindra would be able to handle it. "It's going to flood the court," Mor realized slowly. "We are trapped in the valley of a mountain, Rhys. It's going to flood the court until it gets her back."

Rhys went up the stairs, rage fueling every step as Cassian kept pace with him.

Aerilyn jumped from where she stood near the balcony, watching as her true mount showed the Night Court not even a fraction of what he could do and a glimpse of the destruction he could bring. She knew he could level this little city, but had asked him not to through their bond. 

Rhysand gripped her arm, turning her so quickly her head spun and pointed to the sky with his brows raised as if he expected her to answer. She cocked her head to him, blinking twice before pulling her arm from his grasp and moving towards Cassian faking fear. "What is your beast doing?" Rhysand growled at her, his eyes blazing with fury she had never seen or felt before. She didn't answer and he exploded.

"What the fuck is happening to my court?!" The demand in his voice had Aerilyn almost trembling. "What in the fuck is that thing doing?!"

She stared at him doe eyed, moving closer into the protection Cassian offered and keeping up her act. "Rhys, stop, she clearly doesn't understand you."

The High Lord looked enraged. Yanking the bond so hard Aerilyn released a small scream and fell to her knees. Cassian knelt to her immediately, craddling her head and holding her close to him. He had never felt powerless because of Rhysand, but he did now. "Call. It. Off." He growled at her. "Call your damned beast off before I kill it."

She held her chest, eyes wide as she looked between Rhys and Cassian. The High Lord's eyes softened temporarily, realizing his mate had no clue what that string was. Anger came back to him as another round of lightning stuck closer to the House of Wind. 

Aerilyn knew that was a warning. A loud warning that if he hurt her again, if he shouted at her again, if he even detected fear down their sacred connect, the gates to hell would be opened, and death would follow. 

Rhys went to the balcony, opening it and bracing himself as winds whipped and rain pelted him. He began to watch the sky, watching for any sign of the beast hiding in those dark clouds. A flash of light allowed him to have eyes on it, and he turned to his mate, finger pointed to where he now knew the dragon was hovering. He offered one last time, "Call of the drake, or I will blood Mist him."

Aerilyn looked between him and Cassian. Her brother's jaw was tight. "Rhysand, she doesn't understand. It is protecting her."

"And I'm protecting my fae and home," Rhysand growled to his general. "A home you also swore to protect, Cassian. Remember your place."

Cassian stood, his eyes narrowing. "Isn't my place at your side, brother?"

Rhys put his hand down, realizing the error in his sentence. "Cassian-"

"Don't bother." The illyrian male knelt back down to his sister.

"Please," she whispered. "Don't hurt him." Cassian's face fell slightly. "Gentle. Kind." Aerilyn was still playing her cards. Knowing she could not drop the faked persona until she knew one of them was going to protect her, until she knew one of them would return her. "Scared."

Cassian placed a large hand on her cheek. "You or the dragon?"

Her brows knit. "Both," Rhysand said slowly. "They're both afraid." The High Lord caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, realizing now how much he behaved like his father in this incident. 

The rain lightened up at Aerilyn's command. Her mound came closer to the balcony, but still far enough away to prevent any physical attacks. Aerilyn moved to the balcony, and Rhys and Cassian both watched as her face fell into deep sadness. "Enlil," her hand went out and the dragon approached, getting close enough to her palm to allow her to touch his muzzle.

The males both immediately noted two things:

The first was that this dragon was truly a work of art. A large scaled body that appeared grey, but those scales had began to reflect the lights and surroundings, hiding him within plain sight to anyone looking. He had wings that Rhys could only describe as being similar to painted glass as gentle light passed through them. Even his ice blue eyes were beautiful, and shockingly to them both, filled with love and worship towards the female hugging him.

The second thing they noted was where Aerilyn and Enlil were touching was glowing with a faint blue light. It was as if the contact between them was a sign of magic. And to Rhysand's horror, he realized it was. He knew enough about dragon's and their riders to know this was a bond formed between their souls. His mate was this dragon's true mount. 

And that meant had he misted this dragon, he would have killed her too. 

The dragon could live without the rider, the rider could not live without the dragon. That bond was too fragile, too sacred, too powerful.

Rhys approached slowly, holding a hand back to Cassian. He knew drakes could understand the languages of the fae, and made an offer. "There is a cave, in the mountain," he pointed to it. "It used to be a dragon pit back when the Night Court had riders in their armies. It can comfortably fit 14 dragons." 

The drake seemed to understand his offer, those crystalline eyes flicking back to his rider. "You can bring your hoards of treasures and other friends there, you will be safe there as she is here."

Rhysand dropped the scent ward he had on their mating bond, allowing the drake to sniff it out. He flew back slightly, sparing one last look towards Aerilyn and turned the rain to no more than a light Mist before flying away. 

Rhys motioned for his mate to enter the room again and shut the balcony doors. He hid the hurt in his heart as Aerilyn tucked herself into Cassian's side again, using him as her shield. 

A shield from him.

Rhysand's shoulders fell in defeat. "I need to know what I welcomed into my court."

Aerilyn just simply tucked further into Cassian's side, her soaked hair dripping onto the hardwood floor below her as she shivered. 

Rhys nodded, closing his eyes, and walked out of the door. Amren, Azriel, and Mor all waited in the hall. "Amren, I need you to find books of the different types of drakes, preferably with pictures." The ancient being nodded and immediately left to go to work. "Azriel, how many were actually in the cave?" The shadowsinger didn't answer, his jaw set in a clenched hold. "I realize I fucked up, Azriel. I don't need you to tell me how badly. I already know."

"She has 7 total dragons in her possession. They all look different." He reported back calmly what his shadows had discovered. Azriel went to the door, knocking before entering. He greeted Cassian and Ari softly before shutting the door behind him.

Mor looked at Rhys. "You have to fix that." 

The male nodded. "I will. After he calms her down and gets her to sleep."

-

Cassian held Aerilyn tight after he made her change into different warm clothing. She couldn't help but cuddle closer into him. 

It was familiar, and she knew that. She knew his scent, his smile. She knew what he was to her, and she to him. 

He placed a long kiss on her temple, a prayer going to any God that listened one more time as he wrapped a large wing around her. No words passed between the siblings, and no words needed to. 

Her eyelids began to feel heavy quickly as his calloused hands began a long forgotten motion, running through her hair and scratching her scalp in all the right places. 

"You're safe, sis," Cassian mumbled, falling into a light sleep of his own. "No one will ever hurt you again."

-

The inner circle sat at the dinner table, waiting for at least Cassian to appear. 

Azriel was the last to see the siblings. He had said she was fine, just shaken up. Cassian he had not mentioned. 

They heard a set of foot steps approach the room and Cassian entered silently. He took the plate from the place that had been set near Rhys to force proximity and moved it further down the table. He began taking food without permission from the High Lord and ate in silence. 

Azriel began to eat as well, not wishing to push a clearly angry male to speak. Mor looked down then to Rhys, her eyes pleading with him to fix the situation. 

"Cassian," Rhysand started slowly. The general grunted in response. "Is she okay?"

Cassian set his fork down. "Considering you threatened the only thing she's known as family for the past 300 years? Sure, Rhys, she's fine. She trusts us so much already." Cassian went back to eating, effectively ending any conversation before it could begin. 

Rhys just looked down, pushing his own food around on his plate. He could feel she was heavily asleep, that her dreams were pleasant. "It was attacking my court, our home."

Cassian looked up at him slowly. "Because we kidnapped her from them and theirs. Because she doesn't feel safe and somehow that thing knows through the bond they share."

Amren's interest peaked, "She's bonded to one?" Rhys and Cassian both nodded. Amren just settled into her chair, silver eyes now ablaze with excitement. The ancient being sipped the liquid in her glass, a small smirk forming. "Woo her, Rhysand. That dragon will only leave if she dies, and if they were a pack, you could now have 7 damn near indestructible beasts at your whim."

Cassian pushed his plate away, standing and leaving the table.

The undeniable smell of anger was radiating off of his skin and tainting the air. Rhys felt his shoulders fall in defeat. 

Cassian never left the table without finishing his meals.

He did tonight.

-

Aerilyn woke up to the sun shining in her room and the smell of something bitter. She wrinkled her nose as she sat up and caught sight of the short haired male who originally found her.

He was sitting in her room, looking out the balcony, a cup with steam rising from it in hand. He had a thick book resting on his lap and parchment on a table next to him.

Azriel raised his hand to her, motioning for her to come closer with a single finger. 

She stood next to him, following where that finger now pointed. In a deep gentle voice he asked her, "Name?"

A solid black dragon with scales like spilled oil was sitting at the entrance of the cave put Rhys has allowed them access to. They were on shifts, watching her room perfectly from that ledge, and protecting each other. "Achlys." 

Azriel nodded and held the book. "Type?"

Aerilyn went through the pages, doing her best to focus on pictures instead of reading. She finally reached the page regarding drakes of poison and pointed. Azriel pales slightly before adding the gentle giant to his started list. Under Enlil was pages to books and his power type. Now, under Achlys name was pages referring her. 

He had 5 more spots set, but did not push her. He held the mug filled with the bitter black liquid up to her. "Try it."

She took the mug, fingers grazing his scarred hands and sniffed it. She took a tiny sip before looking at Azriel with a look of absolute devastation and betrayal. 

Azriel couldn't help but to let out a loud laugh as he saw her eyes going wide, her bottom lip pouting out, and her nose scrunching. He took the mug from her and pulled out a separate parchment piece. 

It has her name on the top along with little observations he's made regarding her. Under dislikes he added "Black Coffee," with an amused smile. 

"Mean," she glared at him as he continued to laugh. Azriel faked insult and put his hand to his chest. Aerilyn couldn't help the sympathy flowing through her as she took on of his hands in hers. "Fire?" He just nodded, allowing her to study them. 

Aerilyn wanted to drop the act. She wanted to ask who did this to him, where they were now, but she couldn't.  She settled with kissing his palm. 

Azriel moved to her closet when she was done. Picking a soft two piece outfit for her. He spoke slowly to her, trying to ensure she understood. "Change and then food."

Her stomach made a noise of agreement and he laughed again, leaving the room to allow her to change from the t-shirt Cassian had been wearing yesterday. The clothing left little to the imagination. It was a deep plum color, but the fabric was sheer. The top dipped low in the front and ended before her navel, the long sleeves were sheer. The matching pants were also fairly sheer after the modesty paneling that would prevent her from being exposed. 

Azriel entered the room as if knowing she was changed and immediately took her hand, pulling her into the hallway.

Aerilyn's mouth began to water as they went down the stairs, and her stomach made an when louder noise that had the male pausing, sending her a small look of sympathy, before continuing.

The house was stunning. Lavish furniture, golden balcony and lanterns. It was the most expensive place she had ever been, granted most of her days were spent in a cave surrounded by beasts and their individual hoards. 

Azriel pulled her into a dinning room where the inner circle all sat waiting for him. "Brought a friend to breakfast," he said simply as they all stared in shock. He pulled a chair out for her, sitting her down across from Cassian before moving to sit next to her. 

He began to pile food onto a plate, occasionally putting something under her nose to smell and only adding it if she nodded. Eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, and countless fruits now sat on her plate. 

He gave her the option of water and some dark purple color liquid that smelled like berries. 

Cassian offered her a small smile. "No coffee?"

Azriel didn't freely give them the smiles he had been handing her. "Tried that. She looked at me like I just stolen everything warm and wonderful in her world."

A beautiful blonde laughed lightly. "Well you either drink coffee one or two ways, Azriel. Black or loaded with caramel and sugar. Balance is needed, Az!"

The room fell into hushed silence as the male who stood on the other end of the string Aerilyn had been studying entered. 

He stared at her for a brief moment, his lips almost giving into a twitch and his eyes softening. He continued his walk to the head of the table and sat. "Good morning." A chorus of "Mornings" welcomed him as he began to take food. He looked directly at Aerilyn, "Man erin"

"Man Erin," she whispered back. 

"Eat." Rhysand said to everyone. "We have a long day ahead of us."

Rhys and Aerilyn kept glancing at each other as they ate. One looking away when the other would notice them. She felt herself slightly flushing under his gaze, feelings she'd never had beginning to mix with the fear she felt towards him.

He was beautiful. Incredibly beautiful. Dark hair, a chiseled face, tanned skin. His eyes felt like starlight. 

She wanted to map those eyes, log them like the ancient kings, watching them for hours until they were all they knew.

Rhys also felt emotions mixing with what he knew what physical attraction. The twins had done well cleaning her and allowing her features to be seen. Long dark hair fell into waves down to the curve of her ass that Rhysand wanted to sink his teeth into. Her high cheekbones and delicate jawline framed lush blush lips and eyes like melted chocolate. 

She would be easy to physically fall in love with, and if he could woo her, if he could drop his pride long enough to open vulnerability between the two of them, maybe it would be easy for him to emotionally fall for her as well.

-

Cassian and Azriel led Aerilyn out of the House of Wind to an open area filled with sparing dummies. Cassian was radiating, he had been since the two shadow wraiths changed her into the training leathers she saw Illyrian warriors wearing when she'd spy on the camps. He had been since he inspected her perfected braided hair that was tucked and twisted to keep it out of her face and prevent it from being a target. 

He had been since he saw his sister, exactly as she should have been.

Azriel moved away from them, setting something else up and then sat and waited for Rhysand. She knew he was joining them. Cassian pulled her to a table filled with battle maps and empty parchment as if it was his favorite personal space and he began to write.

Can you read? His handwriting was sharp almost as if he moved his hands like he was dicing an enemy with a knife instead of handling a pen.

"Yes," Aerilyn said.

Cassian rose a brow. You know what yes and no means?

"Yes."

He nodded a small smirk forming. Do you know how to fight?

Aerilyn looked at him, her own dark brows raising as Rhys and Azriel made their way over. She took the pen from Cassian, shocking the three of them. I fly dragons. I had to learn to fight.

Rhys sucked in a breath. "You can read and write." She nodded at him. "You just can't speak our language." 

She wrote again, lying through her teeth still for reasons she was forgetting as today's kindness had become an almost comfort, all of them studying her like hawks that found prey. Never made it that far. Letters in your language have too many sounds. And there's weird bull shit rules. Like "to, two, and too." Who uses 3 words that's letters should all sound the same creating the same word 3 times but for some reason they all evidently mean something else? 

Azriel closed his eyes, hiding a laugh with a cough and cleared his throat. "Yup. Definitely Cassian's sister. Makes what you two are doing next possibly easier, though." 

Rhysand picked at his leathers, trying to remain indifferent despite the joy flooding both him and Aerilyn. He went into her mind again, finding one pathway that wasn't a mess of trauma and mistrust. He began following it to see if he could figure out what all Aerilyn knew. Her thoughts were in several languages with an occasional one in common tongue. Ancient Ruskian, the Old tongue, the language of the long lost elves, and several others.

A slow realization hit him and he looked at his brothers immediately expressing it to them in their minds. "You were not alone in those woods, were you?"

Aerilyn kept her eyes locked on the parchment, shaking her head. Can we just get the fighting over with? I don't want to talk about that.

Cassian almost began to bounce, beaming with excitement and joy. "After we warm and run, sunshine," he ruffled her hair as her face dropped completely.

No one said running would be involved. Aerilyn immediately turned towards the door, only to be stopped by Cassian quickly ripping her back and turning her to throw her over his shoulder. "No way, little one. You are not getting out of this, Aerilyn."

Aerilyn looked at Rhys, eyes pleading. "Please?" Her voice reminded him of red aged wine. Sultry, sweet, capable of convincing him to spend all of his money.

He wanted to give into her, to give into those big chocolate brown eyes begging him to stop this from happening, but they needed a baseline or her knowledge in everything to keep her safe, even if that safety one day was no longer with him. 

He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, darling. It is for your best interest."

Aerilyn collapsed 30 minutes later onto the training mat. They were trying to kill her. Rhysand sat next to her, lightly laughing as he handed her water. 

Aerilyn hated cardio. She had always hated cardio. She did not even understand why cardio was a thing. She took the water, taking a drink before rolling to her stomach and laying in defeat. 

Rhys poked her side, "I think she is done, Cassian." He could feel it through the bond, read it in her body language. He admired the pieces of her hair that had fallen from the braids. He watched her chest rising and falling. She had taken off the longer sleeved training shirt a while ago, exposing her toned arms and back in the tanktop. Despite the tanned skin, a peek of white was showing. A peek of a scar was showing. 

She stiffened as he moved the shirt more and he blanched. 

No care had been taken when her wings were removed. Deep thick scarred skin sat where her wing should have been. Cassian froze when he saw them as well, the night that her small wings where thrown to his feet immediately coming to the forefront of his mind. 

Aerilyn moved away, standing with her back to the three of them, her posture began caving in on itself as her mind screamed insecurities at her. 

She knew of beauty standards. She knew scars were not considered beautiful, and despite not being raised in normal society, she wanted to be beautiful. She wanted to be seen as beautiful. 

She backed away as tears began to fall. "It's okay," Rhys moved to her, speaking softly. "It's okay, Ari."

She shook her head before breaking into a run into the house. Shadows followed her as Cassian stopped Rhys from following. "Give her a second," the general kept repeating.

But how was he supposed to give her a second? How was Rhys supposed to let his mate lock herself in her room and be alone? 

How was he supposed to leave her alone when she didn't believe she was beautiful?

A loud roar broke them all from their trance and their heads snapped to the opening near the mountain. Azriel began to back away, panic and fear setting into him as a large red and gold bodied drake flew towards Aerilyn's balcony. 

They didn't need her to tell them what kind of beast that was nor the destruction it could bring. 

They all already knew, and this confirmed a deep set fear they had. 

Aerilyn had access to a fire Drake. 

Rhysand put himself between Azriel and where the dragon flew. 

"No one speaks a word of this. Knowledge that there is a fire Drake does not leave our boarders. I do not want to deal with Beron anytime soon. It's bad enough we already have to hide the Storm Drake from Tamlin."

Cassian released a shaking breath. "What happens if this all comes out, Rhysand?"

The High Lord shook his head, his mind reeling. "You will lose your sister, I will lose my mate, and those poor beasts that simply want to live and protect her will be hunted or used until their deaths. We keep it quiet to keep them safe."

The three brothers nodded as the flame dragon began to fly back to the cave, something sparkling in its claws.

Azriel, despite his fear, let out a small laugh. "It took a lantern." 

The statement broke the tension that had been building between the three males since her arrival. Cassian's loud booming laughter lead to Rhysand's own deep chuckles, and then Azriel's own rang out joining them. 

Aerilyn appeared seconds later, a guilty look on her teary face. Her hands clasped in front of her, and she rocked back and forth. Her small motions made their laughter increase and soon her own bell-like giggles started. 

She realized slowly, watching the three of them laugh and feeling Rhysand's unadulterated love for the two other males, and the sheer happiness he felt, that she could get used to this. She walked to Azriel, the book on drakes and his sheet in hand to the table and wrote a few simple words. "Hestia. Fire Drake. Likes gems and gold." 

Translation - Man Erin - "Good morning"

Tag list: @kemillyfreitas @jesssicapaniagua @elijahssuit @biancabldss @hellwantfuckme @justdreamstars @ladybirdbeetle7 @amygdtjhddzvb

**Tumblr was being odd and would not allow me to actually tag a few people. I'm looking into it! If you'd like to be added to the taglist, please let me know 💜

[mrghostrat]

i’m not sure if someone already asked you this, but now that you posted flawless, you’ll finish atws? or you’ll start posting the editor au? so sorry if you answered this question before

yea i wanna focus on atws next because its been sitting there for too long. editor au is still in progress, much longer to go than flawless, and i might not even write it privately until i have the next chapter of atws done

but fuuuuck man, just to vent for a minute

i’m trying so hard and nothing is killing my motivation more than this fic. i can only ever write like 50 words at a time, and it’s pulling teeth for every letter. flow doesn’t exist. even after editing down this scene, or trying to skip past it and write the funner bits that come later. i think my inspiration is just dead for this world and it’s gonna take a playlist or multiple rereads or some other kind of external trigger to get me in the mood for it again.

i’m upset that i’m struggling with this world, but it’s also frustrating that of course it’s the one that’s everyone else’s favourite 🫠

i don’t think it’s demand avoidance because i’ve had so many days where i think about it and get myself amped up like yEAHH gonna write streamers today!! and then i open my doc, fully medicated and all, and everything dies on my fingers.

[estebanocon]

Ok, here's my recap of seeing Esteban over the Singapore GP! I've been attending every Singapore GP since 2017 and have supported Esteban each year. For me the highlight from this year was finding out that not only does he recognise my face, he also knows my name. 🥹

The video above is a compilation from two days: Thursday and Saturday. Full story below the cut. 👇

PRE-RACE WEEKEND / ESTEBAN'S BIRTHDAY

I've been travelling since late July and my flight back to Singapore from Vancouver was actually on Esteban's birthday. I had already committed to editing a video to celebrate his achievements at Alpine. Some of you (bless y'all, seriously) answered my open call for art/video/message submissions and I spent the afternoon before my flight putting it together. I'm happy I got it done and I was even happier when Esteban commented thanking us for it just before I got on my plane. You can watch the video on Instagram here.

THURSDAY

A.K.A. The day after I arrived back in Singapore after 2 months on the road and a 16-hour time difference. I have no idea how I wasn't severely jetlagged lol.

I got to the paddock entrance after 1pm, early enough to still get a spot in front of the barrier, but gosh there were so many people this year. Either F1 has really exploded in popularity (especially with the younger generation) or we just have more fans from overseas coming to Singapore for the race (why tho, it's so hot y'all). Luckily I had a friend with me and he was kind enough to help me take videos when Esteban arrived.

My friend hadn't hit record yet so the video missed Esteban saying "good to see you again, how are you doing?", and you can scroll back up for the rest. ☺️ He thanked me after I asked if he'd seen the birthday video and then there was an awkward moment when I didn't know if we were doing a fist bump or a handshake but man's a gentleman and didn't make me feel weird about it. 🫠

I don't know why after seeing him so many times I still get nervous but I was, and I struggled to take the cap off my marker so he could sign my cap. He very kindly took it from me to open it himself but my marker betrayed me and wasn't working properly (now that I think about it, it also happened the very first time I asked him to sign my hat back in 2017 🤡). Thankfully the girl next to me offered her red marker which actually worked (though Este stabbed the life out of it first to be sure). 🙏

I initially wanted to hang around in the evening with some friends who were coming after the pitlane walk. But at 7pm it was already super crowded and I don't even know why (all the drivers, TPs and media are already in the paddock at this point and won't come out till late that night). So yeah, I just went home to not tire myself out before the race weekend actually started.

FRIDAY

I've accumulated quite a bit of merch since last year so I was bringing a different one on each day for him to sign haha. In the selfie I'm wearing a shirt he signed the day before.

I normally try not to take up too much of his time because he always does his best to make sure all the fans get something from him. I only had one shirt for him to sign but after he did, he continued standing in front of me so I just took out my phone for this picture and then he went on his way. Este is bestie fr. 😭🫶

I didn't hang around outside the paddock again on Friday night because I went to watch OneRepublic. ✨

SATURDAY

The best day for me because this was when I managed to get most of my selfies (including with Mick, who I missed on Thursday because he came with Esteban and obv I have priorities) and also because Esteban managed to drag the car out of Q1. 👏

It was also a good day because I asked Esteban if he could write my name on the cap and as I was trying to spell it out for him, he cut me off because he knew, he just didn't see it was me at first because some guy had draped a huge flag over my friend and me for him to sign. 😭🫶

We tried to wait outside the paddock after qualifying but they started chasing us out at 12am and since they had armed police out in full view, we decided to not fk around and find out. (At previous SGPs they'd stay in the van so we never actually saw them.) Also didn't help that Esteban chose that moment to leave so people started mobbing him and even though he tried to stop at first, security physically pushed him to the exit. 🥲 (which was probably for the best tbh)

SUNDAY

I actually gave Este the wrong hat to write my name on (I wanted him to write it on the cap from his store, not the Alpine one) so I had to ask him again and he kindly obliged.

That night I was lucky to catch him just before he left the circuit, there were some fans running alongside him because he wasn't stopping but he stopped when he saw me. 😭🫶 I got a quick hug and he said see you next year so I guess the greedy mfs at SGP are going to continue getting my money smh.

BONUS ESTE'S BESTIES

Here's a picture of stuff I got signed by Este, as well as some gifts I got from other Esteban fans! And also, a picture of me and Fiq who I met for the first time on race day.