#thinking about how I made my friends watch die hard for the first time this past Christmas
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MAMMON AS JOHN MCCLANE IF YOU EVEN CARE
#he would be SOOOOO sexy in a die hard scenario. I could be his Al………#obey me mammon#thinking about how I made my friends watch die hard for the first time this past Christmas#and at the end when John meets Al in person finally and they lock eyes and the music swells#the first thing my friend said was ‘this is more romantic than John’s reunion with Holly’#I love my friends I’m so glad they understand bc that was so important to me actually
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 | masterlist!
Dbf! Joel Miller x female reader
"God loves you but not enough to save you,"
summary: In the small town near Austin, Texas, you are trapped in a life of rigid expectations and silent suffering. As the preacher's daughter, you endure the mental and physical abuse of your father while your mother, bound by obedience, offers quiet love. Your longing for a father's warmth finds an unexpected solace in Joel Miller, your father's best friend and neighbor. In Joel's presence, you discover a forbidden sanctuary, where your yearning heart is met with a gentle strength you've never known.
warnings: 18+ only, Minors DNI, AU, No outbreak. (TW) mentions of substance abuse/alcohol use disorder, adult content, religion abuse, violence, blood gore, mentions of death, sexual abuse, sexual content, domestic violences, pedophilia, cannibalism, human trafficking, dad's best friend!Joel, HUGE age gap (i will not specify her exact age, but she's legal and Joel is 49), daddy issues, mentions of toxic family dynamic, Joel is widowed, Ellie is 16, angst, smut A LOT, forbidden relationship, soft and protective Joel, innocent and pure reader. your last name is Gibson. any other details will be explain throughout the story. inspired by the album Preacher's daughter by Ethel Cain and also mix with lana del rey vibes.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/86853b56ac9f012f170dff4dd82ccdf1/64b393236c61c014-16/s540x810/78c118d593abbe12b6a7b7946c317118c0d3c280.jpg)
𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡
❝ to my love, Joel.
,...found you just to tell you that I made it real far, i never blamed you for loving me the way that you did.
while you were torn apart, i would still wait with you there.
don't think about it too hard, honey. or you'll never sleep a wink at night again.
and don't worry about me and these green eyes,
baby, just know that i love you. and i'll see you when you get here.
i love you forever, Joel... ❞
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/55d94f6cd686c61148ed5fff6da1cf94/64b393236c61c014-ca/s540x810/e864a65447239898013fcbb7e4faf4b4893bd6fe.jpg)
THE PLAYLIST! (on spotify)👰🏼♀️
the preacher's daughter ▪️ dbf! joel miller
MASTERLIST!🐇
Chapter 1: "But I always knew in the end, no one was coming to save me,"
Chapter 2: "Because that's how my daddy raised me,"
Chapter 3: "I watched him show his love through shades of black and blue"
Chapter 4: "He looks like he works with his hands, and smells like Marlboro reds,"
Chapter 5: "Because for the first time since I was a child, I could see a man who wasn't angry,"
Chapter 6: "Let him make a woman out of me,"
Chapter 7: "You wanna fuck me right now?"
Chapter 8: "The fates already fucked me sideways,"
Chapter 9: "Christ, forgive these bones I'm hiding,"
Chapter 10: "and that's why I could never go back home,"
Chapter 11: "I don't care where as long as you're with me,"
Chapter 12: "If it's meant to be, then it will be."
Chapter 13: "Beautiful people, beautiful problems."
Chapter 14: "You put your hands into your head, and then smile cover your hearts."
Chapter 15: "Something's bad is 'bout to happen to me,"
Chapter 16: "Tag, you're it."
Chapter 17: "If he's a serial killer then what's the worst that could happen to a girl who's already hurt?"
Chapter 18: "He's cold-blooded so it takes more time to bleed"
Chapter 19: "Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise,"
Chapter 20: "You poor thing, sweet, mourning lamb. There's nothing you can do."
Chapter 21: "If we die tonight, I'd died yours."
Chapter 22: "I'm always going to be right here, no one's going anywhere"
-THE END-
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read it on wattpad!
the preacher's daughter by babyvenoms
ENJOY! and if you guys have any like visuals to this, or art that you made for this I would love to put it here, just let me know! thank you!! 🩵
#dbf!joel miller x reader#pedro pascal x reader#joel miller x reader#pedro pascal#joel miller#the last of us#pedro pascal smut#joel miller smut#the last of us hbo#dark!joel miller x reader#dbf!joel miller#joel miller the last of us#ethel cain#lana del rey#southern gothic#joel miller age gap#tommy miller#joel tlou#ellie williams#tlou#tlou hbo#joel miller x you#pedro pascal x you#preacher's daughter
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locked in a closet | oscar piastri
pairing: oscar piastri x landos bestfriend!reader
summary: lando norris locks his two bestfriends in a broom closet in hopes that they’ll stop hating each other.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0c223b899ac19cea20b768fb03c7ffb9/ef5343499b62559b-e1/s540x810/64af46de04db172e5f6be1a9d6a1b0a74d2fcca5.jpg)
liked by, oscarpiastri, yourusername, and 438,626 others!
lando.jpg: how can i get my bestfriends to stop hating each other?
view comments below!
oscarpiastri: you can’t.
lando.jpg: ☹️
oscarpiastri: you can pout all you want. We will never get along.
lando.jpg: why must you break my heart 💔
user1: it’s been a whole year lando…i don’t think they’ll ever get along
user2: NEVER SAY NEVER
user3: oscar this, lando that, can we talk about how good y/n looks?? 🙄
yourusername: THANK YOU!! nobody appreciates my beauty anymore 😒😒
oscarpiastri: what beauty?
yourusername: die?
user4: LMAOO
yourusername: maybe if, he who should not be named, wasn’t so annoying, we could actually get along!
oscarpiastri: i’m not fucking voldemort you can say my name
yourusername: o-os🤮c-ca🤮🤮🤮🤮 no i just can’t.
oscarpiastri: oh and i’m the annoying one??
yourusername: yeah! you are!
oscarpiastri: @/lando.jpg control her.
lando.jpg: guy please, can’t we all just get along 😞😞
yourusername: how would getting along with he who should not be named, benefit me??
lando.jpg: it would make me really really happy 😁😁
yourusername: i couldnt give less of a shit about your happiness lando
oscarpiastri: see? She’s a horrible friend, me on the on the hand would never be so mean to you.
yourusername: you told lando he looks like big bird two days ago?
user5: for two people who hate each other, they sure do talk a lot…
danielricciardo: why do they even hate each other so much? 🙄🙄
lando.jpg: oscar spilled his drink on y/n the first time they met. he refused to apologize. she refused to forgive him.
yourusername: you forgot to mention that my shirt was $300 😐😐
oscarpiastri: FIRST OFF who in their right mind buys a 300 HUNDRED DOLLAR SHIRT???!?!? and SECOND OFF, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!! I refuse to apologize for something that wasn’t on purpose.
yourusername: this is why your mom loves me more.
oscarpiastri: she does NOT.
nicolepiastri: …
oscarpiastri: MUM????
yourusername: i know that’s right.
user6: oscar and y/n would be so cute together if they stopped being so IMMATURE
user7: they should just #kissandmakeup
user8: me patiently waiting for the enemies to lovers 🧍♀️
user9: you’re going to be waiting a LONG time…
charles_leclerc: i think it’s time to give up on the idea them being friends mate 😢
lando.jpg: I SAY WHEN ITS TIME
user10: charles is just sick of getting caught in the crossfire 😭
user11: OMG IM NOT THE ONLY ONCE WHO NOTICES THAT ???😭😭😭
user10: NOO I DID TOOO!! it’s like every time oscar and y/n are having a glare-off charles somehow ends up right in between them
user11: AND THEN HE JUST STANDS THERE LIKE 🧍♂️
maxverstappen1: just lock them in a room and let them fight it out 🤷
lando.jpg: wait a damn minute…
yourusername: LANDO NO.
oscarpiastri: absolutely not.
— y/n has posted new photos!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b3e424709d1c070f31fc9d430f230ca0/ef5343499b62559b-f3/s540x810/5919570010f30616ee65059def8936e2a0d0bfe7.jpg)
liked by, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, alex_albon, and 502,528 others!
yourusername: p2, and now movie night in max’s movie theater <33
view comments below!
user12: cutting oscar out of the photo is DIABOLICAL WORK 😭😭
user13: oh to be y/n l/n :((
user14: y/n is literally living the DREAM
user15: the way y/n made SURE you could see that she cut oscar out of the photo
yourusername; i have no idea what you’re talking about ?? 😓😓
oscarpiastri: get off your phone and watch the movie 🙄
yourusername: stop staring and me and watch the movie 🙄
user16: clock it y/n!!!!!
landonorris: did you really have to crop out oscar?
yourusername: yes!
user17: landos trying so hard 😞
user18: they’re all having a movie night 😞😞😞 ??
user19: I SHOULD BE THERE 💔💔💔💔💔
maxverstappen1: this movie is so funny!!
yourusername: it’s brokeback mountain?
maxverstappen1: and it’s hilarious! 😂
user20: MAX WATCHING BROKEBACK MOUTAIN ??!?!??
user21: max thinking brokeback mountain is funny is so him??
charles_leclerc: this movie is so sad 💔💔💔
yourusername: yeah charles we all see you crying :(
user22: charles crying over brokeback mountain is SO HIM!!
user23: is everyone just in there phones during the movie?? 😭😭
oscarpiastri: nope! just she who should not be named 🤷
yourusername: the unoriginality is disgusting!!
maxverstappen1: i’m going to, as the kids say, expose everyone. @/oscarpiastri has not stoped staring at y/n all night.
maxverstappen1: @/yourusername hasn’t stopped staring at a photo oscar on her phone.
this comment has been deleted.
maxverstappen1: @/landonorris has eaten 2 whole pizzas.
maxverstappen1: @/charles_leclerc is crying like a baby.
maxverstappen1: @/danielricciardo keeps awkwardly laughing at the worst moments.
maxverstappen1: @/georgerussell63 keeps taking photos of his abs
maxverstappen1: @/lewishamiliton is secretly wiping away his tears
maxverstappen1: @/alex_albon has been whining about missing ‘his lily’ all night
maxverstappen1: @/carlossainz has gotten up to pee 10 times in the past HOUR
maxverstappen1: and @/logansargent has been hugging a teddy bear for the past 2 hours.
maxverstappen1: that’s what you ALL GET for not having MOVIE THEATER ETIQUETTE AND BEING ON YOUR PHONES.
yourusername: damn okay….
alex_albon: can you go get me my jacket in the closet? i’m kinda cold 🥶🥶
yourusername: yeah sure? 😭
user24: something’s brewing..i can feel it.
landonorris: @/oscarpiastri can you go get me my beanie in the closet? my ears are cold
oscarpiastri: yeah sure
— 3 minutes later!
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— 7 minutes later!
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— 2 hours later!
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— y/n has posted new pictures!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/dd18d712d9c4b44018357b88e1bb360e/ef5343499b62559b-64/s540x810/bb1665027d79daa486c7e8f68c3989441746d77e.jpg)
liked by, oscarpiastri, landonorris, maxverstappen1, georgerussell63, and 629,628 others!
yn.jpg: max’s door didn’t stand a chance against MY muscles 💪(ft, jimmy the cat♡♡)
view comments below!
user25: oscar in the likes?????
user26: wait a minute…
maxverstappen1: don’t worry i won’t make you pay for it 😚
yourusername: you locked me in a room with oscar. i wasn’t paying either way.
maxverstappen1: FINE. 😒😒😒
user27: did she just…say oscar name?
user28: in the whole YEAR oscar and y/n have known each other, y/n has NEVER said his name WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
user29: something happened in that closet
landonorris: hello, i am lando norris, and i would like to publicly apologize for locking my dear friends (especially yn) in a closet. it was stupid and inappropriate of me. i hope to gain back their forgiveness.
user30: did y/n make you do this?
landonorris: no… (yes pls help she’s locked me in my room and won’t let me out)
yourusername; i’ll let you out once you’ve learned your lesson.
oscarpiastri: nice kitty.
yourusername: thanks!
georgerussell63: um, what the fuck is this?
charles_leclerc: maybe management took over oscar’s account?
oscarpiatari: no? it’s me?
charles_leclerc: oh! then what the fuck is this?
user31: something DEFINITELY happened in that closet. why are oscar and y/n actually being civil????
landonorris: i don’t know but it’s scary.
yourusername: do i have to confiscate your phone too?
landonorris: no! Sorry i’m learning my lesson 😞
carlossainz: hahaha 😂lando is such a loser
yourusername: do i have to take your phone to carlos? 🤨
carlossainz: NO, no i’m sorry 😔
user32: is it finally happening?…the enemies to lovers we all wanted 💔💔
user33: your telling me landos plan actually worked and y/n and oscar are being civil now ??
user34: dare i say…oscar and y/n would be a cute couple
danielricciardo: why are you and piastri being cool with each other?
yourusername: isn’t this what you all wanted??
danielricciardo: yeah…i guess we did…didn’t we?
landonorris: I KNEW IT WOULD WORK!!
yourusername: you’re still in trouble, come give me your phone.
landonorris: okay 😞
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f0737930816c8e6e1a425131b204cb37/ef5343499b62559b-d0/s1280x1920/93c582e36fdcb37bbf272ec5810303e951c517cb.jpg)
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ed4b5e61b6b91fe340e5dbfdda0f28cc/ef5343499b62559b-1f/s1280x1920/1089f2f60e5378d5581cf95f53564779522bf161.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f73ca3d10b1aed10cb77f2d140f712a8/ef5343499b62559b-32/s1280x1920/385a72d6a8c8ffdf78fb8b21abe2434f709441fc.jpg)
— oscarpiastri has posted new photos!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8a144a716c42c58d59631a7c6121cbcf/ef5343499b62559b-8e/s540x810/246c79e52c151baafd0af2492547d8a4d2c930f4.jpg)
liked by yourusername, landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 727,918 others!
oscarpiastri: second date, kinda nervous. (she taught me that)
view comments below!
landonorris: second date and already making it instagram official? You’re so whipped 😒
oscarpiastri: didn’t you want us to get along better?
landonorris: yeah, GET ALONG, not GET TOGETHER 😒😒
user35: GET TOGETHER??? EXCUSE MEEEE
user36: THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS!!! IT HAPPNED IT FUCKING HAPPENED. FUCK EVEYONE WHO TOLD ME I WAS DELUSIONAL FOR SAYING THIS WOULD HAPPEN. GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT?? ME! I WAS!
user37: did i just step into a parallel universe where y/n and oscar are dating? because what the actual fuck is going on
maxverstappen1: 😨.
user38: SEE!! EVEN MAX IS ASTONISHED
user39; the period after the emoji is KILLING ME 😭😭
georgerussell63: Is that Y/n????? @/charles_leclerc
charles_leclerc: no? it can’t be?
yourusername: it is
charles_leclerc: AHHHHHHH
georgerussell63: AHHHHHHHH
user39: we did it ladies and gentlemen…after one whole year, the enimies to lovers has finally happened 🥲🥲🥲
landonorris: WE??? NAH BABY ME!! ALL ME!!
yourusername: heart heart
maxverstappen1: 🤨
lewishamilton: 🤨
georgerussell63: 🤨
landonorris: 🤨
logansargent: 🤨
charles_leclerc: 🤨
schecoperez: 🤨
danielricciardo: 🤨
carlossainz: 🤨
yukitsunoda0511: 🤨
fernadoalonso: 🤨
totowolff: 🤨
mclaren: 🤨
yourusername: OMG HE BOUGHT ME A REPLICA OF THE SHIRT HE RUINED, I FORGAVE HIM OKAY???
user40: only the seconds date and he’s already posting her?? oh he’s obsessed.
oscarpiastri: well, yes!
user41: 3 days ago they hated each other so much??? what happened???
yourusername: i’m a really good kisser
user42: DO YOU GUYS TGINK THEY KISSED IN THE CLOSET???
user43: maybe we do have lando to thank…
. . .
notes: one of the longest smau’s i’ve done! reminder that comments and reblogs are so greatly appreciated <33
#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri f1#oscar piastri#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x y/n#f1 social media au#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri fluff
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broke the sweetest promise (that you never should have made)
summary: your relationship with lando ends before it can ever really begin
parings: lando norris x ex!reader x harry styles
vicious speaks: this was supposed to be a cute little fic after i was inspired when listening to ‘electric touch’, and now it’s taken on a life of its own! i hope you enjoy this new mini series 💕 i had to make lando the bad guy, i’m sorry 😭 this is just setting the stage so there’s not a lot of harry but don’t worry, he’s in the next part!!
series masterlist
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liked by yourusername, harrystyles and others
lando we’re so golden ☀️
tagged yourusername
view all comments
yourusername we’re saurrr cute 💛
⤷ lando you definitely are 💛
⤷ fan1 can you put us all out of our misery and DATE ALREADY
⤷ fan2 fr!! yn’s looked like she’s been in love with lando for years and he’s been looking the same way lately 🥹
oscarpiastri two pretty best friends
⤷ yourusername missing our 3rd 😔💔
⤷ fan3 lmao oscar saw the shipping comments and said NOT on my watch 😭
⤷ oscarpiastri she can do better
⤷ lando SLOW DOWN SLOW DOWN
⤷ fan5 oscar PLEASE 😭
⤷ fan6 i fear osc isn’t joking
alexandrasaintmleux yourusername give me your hand in marriage NOW 💍💍 i’m SERIOUS
⤷ yourusername i’m all yours baby 😚
⤷ charles_leclerc i’m literally right here?
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux and?
⤷ yourusername is that supposed to mean something to us?
⤷ charles_leclerc damn okay
⤷ fan7 you got humbled so quick dkgjfjs
fan8 harry in the likes, what the hell 😭
⤷ fan9 maybe he’s an f1 fan
⤷ fan10 ooh i hope we’ll see him at a race!!
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yourusername has added to their stories
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replies
fan1 IS MY LIFE A JOKE TO YOU
fan2 you’re crazy if you think we believe you’re just friends after this
maxverstappen1 oh my God did it finally happen?
fan3 this is basically a hard launch, right?
oscarpiastri you already know how i feel so i’ll just say that if you’re happy, i’m happy ❤️
fan4 you won’t last long, lando will get bored eventually 🤷♀️
yourbff bitch you have some explaining to do
fan5 omg are we about to get love songs for the first time?
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69,654 likes
tmz f1 driver lando norris and singer yn were seen in a pretty heated fight at a studio earlier tonight! apparently lando left her alone in tears. for those who don’t know, he and the singer have been best friends for a few years now, with fans recently speculating online about a relationship confirmation coming soon from the pair but those dreams were crushed when lando was spotted kissing a mystery woman on valentine’s day (see last slide).
view all comments
fan1 omg he’s such a WHORE
fan2 YN STANS WE RIDE AT DAWN 🤺
fan3 this is so sad, man. you can tell yn loves him and i thought lando loved her but clearly that isn’t true. she deserves so much better!!
fan4 leaving her alone in tears is such an evil move…lando norris you shall die by my sword
fan5 it was clear lando wasn’t ever going to see her as a serious option. she did this to herself!!
⤷ fan6 yn didn’t do anything to herself, lando is the one who keeps stringing her along, especially lately.
fan7 our girl needs to cut lando off, take time to heal and when she’s ready, move on with someone who actually loves her.
liked by yourusername
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replies
fan1 damn tell us how you really feel 😭
fan2 this isn’t the confirmation post i wanted but i guess i’ll take it 🤷♀️
fan3 the fucking shade 😭😭
yourbff GET HIS ASS!
fan4 leave lando alone you weirdo
maxverstappen1 this is more information about lando than i ever wanted to know but i can appreciate what you’re doing it for
fan5 me when i lie
fan6 this is diabolical
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fan1 oh girl this is not it
fan2 this isn’t the serve you think it is
fan3 there’s still time to delete this
fan4 wow you really feel no shame in homewrecking
lando ❤️
⤷ itsaria you need to set the record straight about yn. people are in my dms calling me a homewrecker and i didn’t sign up for that shit, lando.
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yourusername i never wanted to bring this to social media but i was made aware that lando released a statement today that as you can see from above, is full of nothing but lies. we’ve been best friends for a few years now and i had been in love with him for almost all of them. we recently admitted our feelings for each other and decided to see where things would go between us. it was new, but we were relationship and he did cheat on me. i don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling but i haven’t seen or spoken to him since that night at the the studio and things between us are obviously not fine. i’m also pretty sure aria had no idea about me so please do not attack her. this is the last time i’m going to speak about this situation, as i want to move on with my life.
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theynsociety still not over taylor and yns surprise performance last night!!
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fan8 i’ve missed her so much!! she was literally glowing last night 🥹🫶
fan9 the fit!! THE HAIR!!! i have a feeling we’re about to enter her best era yet
fan10 harry’s always popping up in the most random places 😭
fan11 it’s been a long month, but clearly this break is doing wonders for her 😍
fan12 harry styles yn fan confirmed?
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taglist: @pansexualdarling
#harry styles x reader#harry styles series#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#harry styles smau#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fluff#harry styles#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris smau#lando norris fic#lando noriss angst#lando norris fanfic#lando norris#one direction fic#1d fic#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#f1#formula 1#fake instagram#smau#fake social media
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This is for the @6esiree contest that they are holding! I hope you enjoy it, and even if it doesn't perform well, I am glad to have made something long! Word Count 3.5k Alastor x Gen Z Reader Based on Song Older by Isabel LaRosa TW: Sexual content, stubbornness, gen gap, age gap, tentacles, begging
Dying wasn’t the first thing on your list of exciting things to do. I mean, yes, you were a 23-year-old living in 2024, so of course, your will to live was low, but that didn’t mean you were ready for it when it happened. No, instead, death came hard and fast, all because you had some serious FOMO and a quite pitiful YOLO moment.
One minute, you were having a great night out with friends, you had a handsome silver fox wrapped around your finger, and then the next thing, you woke to a red landscape of what you only assumed was hell. With your life, it made sense why ‘Hell’ was where you ended up. You died partying and sleeping with the older man, so it only made sense that this was where you would consequently end up.
A deep sigh left you as you looked at the chaos around you. The only good thing you saw so far out of this event was that you didn’t have bills to pay anymore. It looked like as long as you played your cards right, you could get anything here without needing money. As that thought crossed your mind, an ad for redeeming sinners played on a nearby radio.
The voice on the radio was alluring as all hell and had you questioning your life and undead choices. Not even five minutes into being dead, and you are already fawning over an older man's voice. It's good to know that living habits don’t die with you in the afterlife.
Your resolve not shaken, you make your way to where the voice spoke of the Hazbin Hotel and find yourself at the base of a hill, looking up at a grand building with flashing lights. A shiver runs up your spine as you realize how powerful whoever runs this place must be. Maybe pretending to want to be saved would be well worth your time, then.
Let’s get one thing straight here: you are no damsel; you may like your men older, but that doesn’t mean you need one. No, you are an independent queen who can do what she pleases. She just also realizes when to fold and when to hold her hand. Right now, seeking refuge from the fires and sex work was worth it; however, that didn’t mean you wouldn’t earn your keep all the same.
While you thought about these prospects and made your way up to the door, you noticed it was open without you even having to knock. Pushing your head through more of the door, it was clear to see what type of establishment this was…a chaotic one.
Just standing in the entryway, the sights before you were hilarious and intriguing. A cat at the bar grumbled as he watched a spider dance on the bar. A young lady resembling a lamb hurriedly tried to stop the provocative dancing while a gray woman yelled at the spider. A cyclops laughed hysterically while tossing what you could only imagine was a bomb. A small woman rushed around laughing and stabbing the air while a man who looked a little like the lamb girl walked through the room.
The deer caught your eye the most, though, and it seemed you caught his, too, as he was the only one looking at you and your entrance. You two held eye contact, a shiver running up your spine. Oh, you definitely could get used to staying here.
Nodding more to yourself than the deer man, you walked in further and cleared your throat, everyone stopping to look at you. With a slight wave, you smiled brightly and introduced yourself. “Heya, I’m Y/N. Nice to meet ya,”
The room was silent, causing you to laugh awkwardly. As you slowly backed away, thinking maybe this wasn’t a great idea, the lamb girl came over and jumped on you. Holding your arms and bouncing, she spoke excitedly.
“Oh my goodness, a new arrival! Hi, my name is Charlie. I am the hotel's owner,” She beamed proudly at the statement and motioned to the others all in the lobby area of the room, “And this is the Hazbin Hotel residents and staff! The cat is Husk, then Angel Dust, Vaggie, Cherri, Nifty, my father,” She leaned in and whispered, “Also known as Lucifer,”
Laughing at your surprised face, she pointed to the deer man last. “This is Alastor. He is the hotelier; he helps me run the hotel! Was it his broadcast that brought you in?”
You shook your head at the information overload and laughed softly. Nodding to the question, you looked at everyone around. “Yes, I actually passed not too long ago, and as I was weighing my options on where to go, I heard the message on the radio.”
Charlie beamed proudly at Alastor, who just smiled at you precisely as he had been this entire time. You couldn’t lie. He was drop-dead gorgeous. He was tall and fit, and if his voice sounded anything like how it did on the radio, you would be a goner for sure. He was an enigma and one you knew you had to be careful of if you wanted to make it out of this hotel with your head screwed on straight.
“My my, I am quite honored my radio show was able to bring in a petal quite like yourself, dear,” He spoke so smoothly, and you knew right then how right you were; you were a goner. “I do hope you are staying here with us to be redeemed as Miss Charlotte wishes; I am eager to learn…more about you, miss Y/N.”
You swallowed thickly, nodding. Looking at the others, you laughed and began some small talk while they decided where would be the best place to put you. The conversations ranged from how everyone died to how people got here, and you learned more about how hell worked. Learning that Alastor owned many souls only made him more appealing and dangerous.
As Charlie led you to your room, she made sure to inform you of the dangers of getting mixed up with Alastor. Being mindful of her warnings and the blaring alarms in your head that did not match the alarms between your legs, you made it a goal to avoid falling for Alastor at all costs. Oh, how wrong you were for that.
Alastor had his eyes on you the minute he felt your presence near the hotel. You were unlike any other woman he had seen. You looked young and still full of life, so how could someone like you have died so carelessly? Not to mention, he did find you oddly attractive, and your calm demeanor was refreshing. He wanted you and in more ways than just your soul.
He knew the best way to any woman's heart was to court her and get her to fall for him slowly till she needed him and him alone. However, you were a tricky one to get under the skin of. You were so damn stubborn and stuck in your ways of being the lead in your own life that allowing him any control seemed futile. However, the challenge you possessed was all the more thrilling to him.
It started off simple: He escorted you around the hotel. He wanted to lead you around like a gentleman, but you had your own plans. As he talked and explained a specific part of the hotel, your attention was elsewhere in your explorations.
“Y/N, dearest, are you even paying attention?” he asked you sharply as you looked at the paintings for the millionth time since your arrival. You really wanted to listen to him, but this was kind of boring. After becoming close with the others, you were eager to hear more about their lives than be trapped with the man you swore not to sleep within this proximity to you.
“Sorry, Alastor. Yes, I am listening. I was just wondering about some of the paintings; they are quite pretty.” You were honest, at least in the fact that you enjoyed the paintings. Someone had a knack for art, and you were not shy to admit it. However, when you soon learned it was he who chose all the art minus a handful, you quickly shut down your praise.
The next time Alastor tried to win you over and claim your soul was when he began opening doors for you. He never thought the day would come when he saw someone challenge him so brazenly. However, that was probably the day he fell in love with you, as he allowed it to happen.
“Uh…Alastor, what are you doing?” You looked at the opened door with your arms crossed, your body still midstep from when he raced ahead to open the door.
“I am being a gentleman, Miss Y/N, that is all.” He looked so innocent, but you had heard more stories and learned so much about him from the shadows. He was no innocent man but a cold-blooded killer. You wouldn’t lie, though, that his past and present only made you that more attracted to the idea of him. You wanted him biblically, and it only made you hate his advances more, as you didn’t want to lose your soul.
“No, thank you, Alastor. I can open my own doors.” You quickly took the door from him, closing it and reopening it before walking through. The look on Alastor's face was akin to pain and frustration. He was not a fan of your independent attitude and was willing to bet he could break you before the year ended.
Alastor resorted to making sure you always walked on the right side of the road, that your chairs were pulled out for you, and that your food was pre-cut; he even went out of his way to acquire a simple ruby necklace for you to wear so others knew you were accounted for. However, you were stubborn and not taking on his advances. All you would give him was that Cheshire grin and stubbornly push his buttons by mimicking his chivalry with your version.
When it came to Alastors courting skills and all his advances, you managed to turn them down in the same stubborn way. However, it didn’t go amiss by Alastor that each turn down went from cold and distant worry to more playful and light-hearted jests on your part. Was it possible you were falling for him, too?
He admitted to himself a while ago, just as you had that the immediate attraction you two felt despite the age and generational gap was mutual. He didn’t know how to break you while you were too worried about becoming his next meal, even though the way he wanted to eat you was not how you were thinking.
That was until one fateful day when the hotel was barren except you two. You had sat perched in the library reading some trashy romance novel, hoping to get yourself off while Alastor was busy with his work. Busy working till his shadow happened to inform him of what you were reading.
The book you had chosen was interesting in that the main female lead was a time traveler who managed to end up in the olden times as a helpless damsel needing a strong man to care for her—the complete opposite of what you were as a person. However, you wouldn’t lie that the thought of letting Alastor take care of you wasn’t electrifying; it just went against everything you stood for.
However, reading the book and getting to the more intense sex scenes where the woman is restrained and taken care of sexually only caused you to feel more of a heated desire for the man who had plagued your thoughts since you made eye contact with him all those months ago. Sighing deeply, you flipped to the next page and moaned softly at the words, wishing it to be you. You wondered how long your and Alastor’s game of cat and mouse would play out until one caved.
Alastor entered the room and looked over your shoulder. He was enamored with you rutting into your leg as you read the heated pages. He smirked as a tentacle wrapped around your throat and pulled your attention up from the book to his eyeline. “My dear, what do we seem to have here?” He practically purred, and you whimpered softly.
You were already so close to release on your heel that you didn’t realize the pleas coming from your lips. You needed an older man badly; you needed Alastor—someone who would worship your body. As the pleas left your lips, it didn’t take long for Alastor to pounce on you, his pent-up desire for the independent brat growing.
Alastor wasted no time and already had your sleep shorts pooled at your ankles, ratty nightshirt hiked up your back and drooping off one shoulder. Your inner thighs were slick and glistening with arousal from your earlier menstruations while reading.
Alastor hummed in amusement, bending you over the couch, his cold tentacles holding you in place as he moved down your back. His soft breaths tickled you as much as they excited you. He hummed as he saw your pussy in full view, a smile growing on his face. He touched it softly, slick coating his hand as he spoke, “My dear, you are already soaking; you were thinking about me, weren’t you? Thinking about me taking you just like that man does in that book.” He smiled wider, lining his face with your slick. “All you had to do was ask, beautiful.”
A tender hand pushes down on your back, further squishing your chest into the soft plush of the couch arm, his other hand grasping firmly at the fat of your backside where Alastor’s face is lapping at your dripping cunt. Soft mewls cry from your lips, hands reaching back to grasp his head, fingers tangling through the soft red and black locks, being mindful of his ears. He only grunts in response as he continues his onslaught on your most sensitive area.
What felt like minutes and hours at the same time passed; your legs were trembling, knees threatening to buckle under you with three orgasms already coaxed out of you on his tongue alone, milking you of your sweet, slick nectar. Your quiet, strained cries did nothing but aid the tightness in Alastor’s dress pants, his cock oozing arousal in his boxers, dampening the fabric beyond. Every involuntary shift of his hips causes more friction and tension with the fabric, sending a groan throughout your pussy.
Alastors noises vibrate against your cunt, shocking your overstimulated and oversensitive clit. All you can do is cry out as he pushes himself deeper, closer. his tongue is merciless and selfish as he threatens to swallow you whole. At this point, you're begging for him to relent, repeated pleas of his name falling from your lips as the familiar heat builds in your core, and you writhe under his hands. The cold slick of his tentacles digs into your skin as he takes hold of your ankles and wrists now to keep you open.
Everything becomes overstimulating as the world begins to spin. Your jaw goes slack, and saliva pools in your mouth as it threatens to spill over your swollen lips. Tears are streaming down your flushed face, your hair is frizzy, and your eyes are practically rolling to the back of your head as yet another release washes over you, sending a shudder through your body.
Alastor finally pulls his face away from the space he has claimed as his between your thighs, not without flattening his tongue over your cunt for a last taste gathering all of you he could. The tentacles held you tighter as he smirked and sat upright, admiring the mess he had made of you. A slick shimmer on his face as he licked his lips, “Delicious, better than any venison I have ever had, dove.”
As he stands up, his hand on your back pushes you back onto the couch arm. He kneaded the flesh of your backside, groaning at the sight in front of him. His hands meet your hips, pulling you back on his clothed erection. A small yelp escapes your lips at the friction against your sensitive area. Your frayed nerves against the soft material that soaks up your arousal and previous releases.
You whine as he rocks his hips slowly, grunting as he watches the material dampen quickly before he pulls away from your hips. His movements are hasty, and he does not waste any more time as he uses more tentacles to help not only hold your wiggling form but also get his clothes off him. He liked this sight of your half-dressed attire as he held purchase over you, dominance you refused till now to give up.
Once he was undressed, he bleated softly at the warmth of your puffy, swollen folds as he rubbed his cockhead up and down your pussy before catching your willing slit. He groans at the tightness that welcomes him; the slick, clamping, spongy walls that pulse around his dick almost milks him of every last drop of cum.
Your voice is hoarse, almost gone by the time his cock is sheathed in you, his cockhead brushing your sweet spot as you feel him abuse your need for him. You can feel every prominent vein of his cock against your spongy walls; they're practically ingrained in you as your pussy is molded to take his dick.
A creamy, white circle forms at the base of his cock as he pushes his length inside, his girthy dick stretching your weeping pussy with loud, lewd squelches. He doesn't give you time to compose yourself. He's selfish tonight, unapologetically so, because you had been toying with him for too long. After almost a year of cat and mouse, this is finally how he takes you. You drove him mad.
It isn't long until your backside is red, his hips pistoning into your sopping cunt, the sight of your slick pussy swallowing his red, angry cock so needily, sucking him in so desperately and clamping around him was addicting, and the feel even more so. His pace isn't lovely; he's mean, relentless, and bruising.
"Fuck sweetheart, so needy for me; you could have just told me how much you wanted this from the get-go. Saved us both precious time," he whined in your ear, his cock drilling into your tight hole as he nipped at your earlobe. Claws out, he uses his hands, kneading the fat of your ass, a sharp slap to your skin causing it to turn even more flushed and red as he fucked himself stupid using your cunt.
He was growing more and more pussy-drunk, drool forming in his mouth and pooling in his permanent smile, leaning over to place his lips onto the expanse of your shoulder. He pressed lewd, wet kisses against your supple skin, adding to the marks and bruises from his teeth as his demonic form began to take precedence.
With how hard he was holding on to you with his hands and tentacles, you were covered in bruises. He was marking you as his not only with chivalry and jewels but pretty marks that will mar your skin for weeks. He tightened his hold around your throat, pulling you up to a sitting position. He pumped into you harder, watching your stomach grow with his length in you. He groaned heatedly as he transformed more; his hand was pulling you up while his other hand began pushing down on the spot on your belly where he was poking through.
As you both whined and felt relief, he growled in your ear, “I will make you all mine, my Doe. Not a single person can have you now.” He pushed harder for a few more pumps before you two were spilling over one another. He filled you to the brim, his seed spilling out before he could even pull out of you. With a satisfied hum, he let his body slowly return to normal as he slid out.
You were fucked out beyond belief. He smiled, gently picking you up and placing your clothes back on you. He held you in his arms and sighed, acting as if he didn’t just release eons of pent-up sexual tension on you. He snapped his fingers, redressing, and walked with you in his arms to his chambers. There, he would repeatedly remind you who you now truly belong to. Soul or not, he was the one to dominate the disobedient brat you were.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel imagine#alastor x reader#alastor x you#alastor x reader fluff#alastor x you fluff#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin alastor#alastor imagine#alastor fluff#alastor#alastor the radio demon#the radio demon#human alastor x reader#human alastor x you#human alastor#alastor x reader smut#alastor x you smut#alastor smut#x reader#lunarwritings#moons#hazbin#hazbinhotel#hotel hazbin#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart
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FIRST MEET. - Simon Ghost Riley x Fem Reader short fic !!
— your husband, Simon, takes you to meet his best friend for the first time.
(divider from kodaswrld)
You laid in your husband, Simon’s arms. His hand absentmindedly running through your hair, other hand secured on your baby bump, gently caressing it.
After you had told him you were pregnant, he had been more protective than ever.
He was deep in thought, eyes focused on the ceiling. You knew that when he zoned out like this, it was because he was thinking of something serious.
“I wanna take you to see Johnny, luv.” His rough voice gruffed, eyes trailing down to meet yours.
Johnny. Simon didn’t speak much of him. You knew they worked together, but that was it. He always seems to go quiet when Johnny is brought up.
“R- Really?” You choked, wide eyes meeting his. It was a true surprise; he never spoke of the man, and now he wants to take you to see him?
“Yeah.” He whispered, slightly nodding his head. Simon had a tendency to be very…reserved. “It’s about time, I reckon.”
…
And just like that, you two were sat in the car, in silence. The radio was off; this wasn’t a time for music, Simon said.
Your hands nervously played with the ripped leather of the seat; a bad habit you had gained while being nervous. Simon didn’t mind though. Anything to ease your mind.
The drive continued on in tense silence, Simon’s hands gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white.
He was never good at showing his emotions, so you got better at reading him through the little things. He was sat up a little straighter than usual, his jaw was clenched, and he occasionally moved a hand to his chest to touch his dogtags.
He was nervous.
After what felt like an eternity, the car stopped. Simon got out, walked to your side and helped you out aswell. It seemed like you were in the middle of nowhere. Is this where you die?
No. Surely Simon wouldn’t do that.
His tattooed hand held your hand, starting to pull you along. You walked down a pathway, onto an open meadow, stopping by the cliff, overlooking the water.
Oh.
“Hey, Johnny.” Simon gruffed quietly, his eyes zoned into the distant sunset. “Finally brought the missus around. Sad you couldn’t actually meet her, but I know you’re up there watchin’ us.” You stayed silent, even tearing up as you watched your husband speak to his late friend.
“Even managed to knock her up.” He muttered, a chuckle-like sound following. “‘s a boy. We’re gonna name him Johnny.”
You two sat there, watching the sunset, Simon truly opening up to you. He told you everything about his and Johnny’s friendship, he told you how he passed, and everything after it. How Simon came here every week.
After the sun had finally set, Simon let out a soft sigh. “We need to get going, luv.”
“See you again next Friday, Johnny.” Simon spoke, before grabbing your hand, helping you up and beginning to lead you back to the car.
He opened his heart to you a little more today, and you’ll forever cherish that.
______________________________
Simon pushed the stroller down the dirt path, your toddler son babbling in there, playing with his pacifier.
Finally making it to the opening, he let out a sigh, “That path definitely ain’t made for strollers.” He watched the sunset with a smile again. “Johnny, meet little Johnny. Sorry we haven’t come by sooner, it’s been hectic since the birth.” Simon’s eyes were focused on little Johnny, as he took in another sharp breath. “You’ve properly met my wife now then, haven’t you?” Tears glossed his eyes as he moved his eyes to the sunset; it was more colorful than usual.
“You better keep ‘er company until I get there. But not too much, eh? She’s still my bloody wife, even if she’s up there now.”
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x you#simon ghost x reader#ghost cod#fanfic#angst#one shot#cod mw2#cod modern warfare#simon ghost riley angst#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x female reader#simon ghost riley x you#cod mw3
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“ DOOMED ー +18, mdni
ー aaron hotchner x fem!BAU!reader.
ー summary: three times he tells you he's leaving haley and the one time he does it.
ー content: angst, cheating, allusions to sex, crude words, ooc!hotch in the sense he would not be a cheater. NO HAPPY ENDING.
ー w/c: 1.4k
ー a/n: pain, cheating and guilt are my favorite emotions.
This is not a love story. But it began with shared cigarettes and a confession.
I - COME SHOVE ME OVER THE EDGE
"I think Haley is cheating on me." He's not looking at you as he says it, eyes on his feet as he takes a particularly long drag of his cigarette ー one of yours he asked for, you didn't even know he smoked until that very moment, but the way he held the white poison between his fingers and let only part of the smoke leave his nostrils showed you it wasn't his first time.
It's good he isn't looking as you aren't able to mask how wide your eyes opened, completely shocked at first, but it isn't the shock you wished to mask, the following shrug of your shoulders was the bad reaction to such confession. It shocked you because Haley was obviously in love with the man by your side, but then ー it made sense. Loneliness is a powerful motivator for the vastest of actions. And working with Hotch it was easy to see Haley was lonely.
"Complete silence wasn’t the reaction I was expecting."
"And what were you expecting?"
"Not entirely sure. Empathy? Pity?"
You grin to yourself more than to him, if he wanted one of those, he would've gone to one of the other girls. "Don't feel those when I see consequences catching up to the actions deserving of them." Hadn't he complained about your silence you wouldn't be so blunt. But it was almost like he was teasing you, hoping you would bite back.
You hear the air come out of his nose and he coughs part of the smoke he was about to inhale, surprised but amused at your response. Truth be told, part of him needed that, needed some sort of punishment, or so he felt. It's why he went to the roof after you to smoke, and not Emily.
"I think I'm gonna file for divorce," he says after some minutes of silence, watching as you put your cigarette out by throwing it on the floor and stepping on it.
"That's probably wise." It's a short reply to end a short conversation ー one you didn't really wanna participate in. You and Hotch aren't friends. He's your boss. Has been for six months, and by now you made it obvious to everyone that you enjoyed being alone and treating the job as what it is: A job.
As a young new female agent, fresh out of the academy you were designated to the white collar division. It wasn't as physically dangerous, but there you were forced to shut others out, the competitiveness and misogyny made it impossible to have them as family.
The BAU is different, but old habits die hard, especially the ones you gathered as protection.
II - YOU KNOW THAT I'M IN LOVE WITH THE MESS
Aaron teases you, breathless telling you he melted your icy heart, you let him know your heart is as icy as three months ago.
His fingers grip on your hips with much more strenght than before, it hurts in the best way and you know there will be red marks there in the morning as a treat and reminder. He uses the newfound support to thrust up into you, setting a new pace, faster, relentless, no warning.
You can't react any other way, a loud moan escaping your lips as your nails sink into the skin of his shoulders, a muttered curse leaves his just before a smirk is plastered on his face, amused at your pleasure.
"Sounds melted to me."
Replying to that is useless, so you don't. Enjoying the feeling of his body against yours and him throbbing inside of you holds more importance than protecting your ego.
You brought him home, the sanctity of your bed now tainted by your sins, so he wasn't wrong, he was melting your heart, finding a place for him there in the depths of your soul in the past three months.
It started slow, you aren't sure if it was his intention all along, following you every time you took your smoking break, buying your cigarette brand and giving it to you as a thank you for sharing it with him, buying you coffee and talking to you. But most of all, enjoying the silence with you.
A month in he offers you a ride home, lips to yours as soon as the car reaches your street. You couldn't wait, neither could he. Fucking in the car was never comfortable, but it was hot, the look on his face when you left the car after you both came, saying goodbye instead of inviting him inside was completely worth it.
In the daze of your desire you didn't even notice his wedding band intact on his finger. It became more apparent with time, so much so he began taking it off before meeting you in hotels. He thinks he does it for your sake, but you know it's actually for his own.
He feels guilty. You wouldn't like him as much if he didn't. But it would make things easier if he didn't have reason to be feeling that way.
"I talked to a lawyer last week." He gets sappy after sex, hands caressing your body with feather-like touches, promises made in loving tones you pretend not to hear. You know your place too well to show how easily swayed you are by him. You hum in reply, nodding into his naked chest. "I'll just wait for Jack's birthday to pass, I want to spend one last birthday without the weight of the divorce. Then I am all yours."
You try not to care, but you do. And worse than that, you believe him.
III - WHEN IT RAINS IT FUCKING POURS
You are angry and embarrassed, but mostly you just feel so humiliated it physically hurts both your head and your heart. Alone in a conference room, all you can do is think and relive how stupid the situation was and estipulate about what everyone was thinking about you.
A nice good-looking cop flirted with you, and you weren't bothered by it, you even flirted back lightly, nothing serious about it and it wouldn't come to anything, you weren't looking to date anyone. It was innocent and you are single.
Aaron didn't see it that way. Made a huge deal of it, told you and the guy off for not paying attention to the case and the way he looked at you... Your colleagues are profilers, the deal was to act normally, and now you know they know it.
It's not like you're the type to care too much about societal morals but the newest team member that doesn't open up ends up sleeping with the boss. No need for any profile course to know the type of assumptions to be made.
You may not care about much, but you care about your job and being seen as less than capable for taking your boss' cock every other day was not in your plans.
You can't even make a scene. Morally wrong women helping men cheat don't get to make a scene.
You get to wallow alone. That's your prize.
That and an explanation text as you won't be alone with the other for a while in favor of professionalism.
I'm sorry. l got overly jealous.
It's hard seeing you smile like that at someone else.
But soon it'll be just us and when you're officially mine everyone will know it.
Everyone will know it. You can only scoff at that. As if his jealousy fit masked as concern for the case wasn't enough for your team of profilers. Everyone knew now. No going back. From ice queen to office whore in a blink, all for a man who has been promising to leave his wife for almost an year now with no actions to keep such promise, nothing to prove his intentions but your trust to his words.
IV - NOT WORTH SAVING IT
You are on your annual leave when he finally does it, signs the papers Haley served him. The fact she was the one to file should be clue enough, but it took the excruciating knowledge of how long it was taking him to sign the damn thing to snap you out of his grasp.
It's just a coincidence, a bitter one to him at that, that Strauss handed your transfer papers and substitutes' files on the same day he signed and mailed back his divorce papers.
He tries to call you, goes to your house but traveling for your AL was your plan for that reason. You didn't want to talk, didn't want his honey-dipped words and warm hands to blur your good sense.
It's done. You are done. There's no way back, you were doomed from the start.
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#hotch x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#criminal minds x reader#hotch x you#lari writes sometimes
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Light my Love
~Light My Love by Greta Van Fleet~
Author's Note: requested! plus size reader :)) Summary: Quinn comforts Y/N after her Instagram comments start to get to her Warnings: negative language towards plus size, swearing Word Count: 2,172 Quinn Hughes x plus size fm!reader
Quinn and Y/N have been together since his sophomore year at UMich. They met at one of the football games where he has always said it was love at first sight. Well, at least on his part. She stood in front of him in the student section, and she turned around for only a moment and their eyes connected. It was safe to say, Quinn fell hard.
A smile instantly came onto his lips once he met her gaze, she shyly turned around as she’s never had someone look at her like that. With so much admiration from the moment they met each other’s gaze.
Quinn didn’t hide his attraction to her, he kept tapping her shoulder to talk to her. Needing to know more about the mystery girl in front of him. His friends were shocked to say the least, he was never someone who went out of his way to talk to a girl. He was always paranoid that photos would be taken and he would seem like a flirt or a creep.
But this girl was different, her smile was genuine, her eyes were bright and squinted so slightly every time he said something dumb. She was funny and competitive and so supportive of him and his dreams. Even though she was a die hard football fan, she was willing to learn hockey to support him. Long distance was almost impossible, if she didn’t fly to Vancouver nearly every weekend to spend time with him.
It was safe to say that he was madly in love with her.
It took a long time for Y/N to realize that he was in love. She was bigger, always has been. It was rare for a guy to even give her a second look, let alone pursue her the way Quinn did. Quinn didn’t notice the way his friends were looking at him that day. They were almost disgusted by the way she looked. Because why would Quinn Hughes go after a fat girl. She knew that’s what they were thinking.
But after they started dating, the boys didn’t say or act like it mattered. She was just Quinn’s girlfriend and she was content with that.
Quinn never shied away from his love towards her. He was never big on PDA, but he was never afraid to touch her or hold her in public. But behind closed doors, he was a romantic and he always has to be laying with her or cuddling with her.
Tonight was no different. Quinn had his head on her chest as he was half-asleep watching his brothers’ game. She was busy, scrolling through her Instagram comments. For the first time in their relationship, she unprivated her account. Which quickly led to a flood of comments about her appearance and how she wasn’t close to being good enough for Quinn.
The comments progressively got worse as the days gone on. She started deleting old photos, any photos that seemed to get in an influx of horrible comments. She knew that she wasn’t good enough for him. It was obvious but she never made her insecurities his problem.
There was never a moment she didn’t feel loved by him but she always felt that she never deserved it.
“Baby,” he mumbled as he ran his hands up and down her sides as he slowly opened his eyes. “What’s the score?” he muttered. She giggled softly.
“Still 0-0,” she muttered as she ran her fingers through his hair. He hummed as he slowly began to drift back into sleep, “Let’s just go to bed,” she said as she slowly ran her fingers through his hair once more.
“N-no, I’m watching this, I swear,” he said lifting his head slightly as he switched his gaze towards the TV.
“You sure?” she teased.
He hummed as he forced his gaze open, “What are you watching?” he asked, nudging the phone that was rested on his back. She quickly shut the phone off and placed it on top of the couch.
“Just some TikTok videos,” she lied as she shifted her gaze towards the TV screen, watching the Devils powerplay get to work. He hummed as he lifted his head, looking down towards her. For a while she wouldn’t look at him, he frowned as he took a hold of her chin, forcing her gaze towards him.
“You alright?” he asked quietly as he scanned her features. She nodded her head and he continued to scan her face. “Okay,” he let out softly before he leaned towards her and delicately kissed her for a few seconds before he rested his head onto her chest again. His eyes widened as he watched Luke wrist a shot towards the net.
“Baby, I think I’m gonna head to bed,” she mumbled as she ran her hand up and down his back. He lifted his head up again, staring down towards her.
“O-okay,” he mutter, grunting as he slowly climbed off of her, standing above her. Quinn held out his hand, waiting for her to take it. She gladly accepted it as she slowly got up from the couch. “Come on, love,” he said as he leaned down and took a hold of the TV remote and turned off the game.
~~~
For the past few days the comments have gotten worse and harder to ignore. Every comment was about her appearance, all of it was about how Quinn was too good for her. She was pulling away from Quinn, which was easy because he was on a roadie. She kept avoiding his calls, for different reasons.
It wasn’t completely unusual for them to have a lack of communication with him being gone. But it was usually Quinn unable to call her back. She would always text him the automated, can’t talk right now.
For the fourth time today, Quinn held his phone against his ear hearing the phone ring and ring. He clenched his jaw as he tilted his head back. Tonight was their last game for the roadtrip so he’ll be coming back home to see her.
“Shit,” he pulled the phone away from his ear as he stared towards their messages to see another can’t talk right now.
“She still dodging your calls?” Brock asked as he glanced towards the camera several feet ahead of him. Quinn took in a sharp breath as he hummed, “What did you do?” Brock asked, smirking slightly. Quinn shook his head, while tilting his head back.
“I’m trying to think of something I did but I literally cannot think of anything,” he countered while shaking his head.
“You think she did something? Maybe she just doesn’t want to talk to you,” Brock offered as he glanced towards the camera. Quinn kept his head low as he kept his eyes on his shoes. He clenched his jaw as he took in a sharp breath.
“You think she cheated on me?” he asked quietly, his heart began pounding hard against his chest. His breathing began to quicken. “She wouldn’t do that, would she? I mean she wouldn’t move to Vancouver with me if she was just gonna ch-”
“Okay, okay I don’t think she would cheat on you, that’s not what I was implying. Let’s not implode?” Brock offered, smacking his hand against his shoulder.
“Right, right, okay, I’m gonna call her again,” he mumbled as he walked ahead of Brock, to get a moment of privacy. “C’mon baby,” he said as it continued to ring and ring. It took several seconds before she answered, she didn’t talk at first. “Y/N, baby?” he let out as he glanced towards another camera, this time it was the camera for the broadcast.
“I’m sorry, I’ve been super all over the place. I love you, have a great game and I’ll be watching as always,” she explained, her voice was hoarse.
“It’s okay, I didn’t realize you had so many plans? I just missed hearing your voice,” he mumbled glancing towards the other players that were heading towards the locker room. He chuckled dryly as she took a sudden breath on her end of the phone.
“I-I miss your voice too,” she muttered sadly. Quinn could tell by the way she was talking that something was bothering her. “You’ll do great tonight, I love you so much,” she mumbled.
He smiled softly, shutting his eyes slightly, “I love you too, I’ll be home soon. You’ll be watching though right?” he asked shyly. He’s convinced that he does bad anytime she’s not watching him play.
“I’ll be watching,” she reassured, an evident smile on her lips from the tone in her voice. He chuckled softly.
“Okay, I-uh-I gotta go,” he muttered waiting to hear a reply but nothing. She ended the call without saying anything. He pulled the phone away from his ear, he stared towards the contact photo. It was a picture of them, only a few weeks back. She was smiling so big as he was kissing her cheek. He’s missed that smile.
“Is she alright?” Brock asked as he walked slowly towards Quinn.
“No,” he muttered as he walked passed him towards the locker room, hoping time would move by faster. He needed to get home for her.
Brock pressed his lips together nodding slightly before he followed after Quinn.
~~~
They won the game, 6-2, and Quinn finally returned home. He stepped into the apartment, turning the corner to see Y/N sitting on the couch. She pulled her gaze from her phone suddenly. Quinn met her gaze, he smiled widely. Usually, she would return the smile but nothing was there.
“How was the flight?” she asked, her voice was scratchy as she dropped her gaze to her lap. He furrowed his eyebrows, leaving his suitcase near the front door as he walked towards her.
He stood behind the couch, leaning towards her. His lips were near her ear, “What’s wrong?” he asked softly before he pressed his lips to her cheek.
She didn’t respond, she kept her gaze on her phone screen. Quinn shifted his gaze down towards her phone, noticing Instagram comments were on her screen. He read the first one, that mentioned his name and his chest began to feel heavy.
“What the hell,” he muttered reaching for her phone.
“Quinn-don’t,” she mumbled as she turned her phone screen off. He shook his head as he stepped back a few steps, pulling out his own phone, “Quinn, I said don’t,” she mumbled as she stood up from the couch.
“How long have these been on your posts?” he asked as he began scrolling through the awful messages.
“It doesn’t matter,” she muttered crossing her arms over her chest.
“It matters! You know what they’re saying isn’t true right?” he let out shoving his phone into his pocket. She clenched her jaw as she lowered her gaze to the floor. “Baby,” he mumbled as he stepped towards her, he rested his hands onto her cheeks. Looking deeply into her eyes.
She pulled away from him. “You know every person that sees us together has those thoughts going through their minds,” she let out, a sob leaving her throat.
“What thoughts?” Quinn argued back.
“That you deserve someone else! Not a girl who’s twice your size or a girl who can’t wear your jersey or-”
“You know I don’t care about that stuff! I love every inch of you,” he expressed as he stepped towards her. She shook her head as she stepped back.
“I mean seriously, Quinn, you don’t look at the girls throwing themselves at you on the glass and think how easy it would be for you two to be together? You won’t get embarrassed for being with the fat girl!”
“I am in love with you! I look at you and see the most beautiful girl in the world, why do you care what these jealous girls think?” he questioned reaching towards her again, he rested his hands on her waist, pulling her towards him.
“I’ve always cared what they think!”
“You should only care about what I think!” he expressed, he raised his hands up and took a hold of her cheeks. He stared into her eyes, “Because I think you’re absolutely stunning, the most perfect girl in the world. You make me happy, you make me feel loved. I don’t ever want you to feel anything less than beautiful and perfect, okay?”
“It’s hard when the entire hockey world hates me,” she mumbled as she looked into his eyes deeply. He pulled her towards him, kissing her deeply.
“They don’t hate you, they’re jealous that we are so happy,” he mumbled against her lips.
“Quinn,” she mumbled.
“Come on, let me show you how much I love you,” he said before he pressed his lips against hers for a few seconds. “And we’re turning your comments off, you’re not allowed to read those awful lies, okay?” he said as he scanned her face. She nodded slightly.
“Okay,” she let out softly.
#quinn hughes x y/n#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes imagines#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes#nhl imagines#nhl#nhl x reader#luke hughes#nhl fic#hockey#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes fanfic#luke hughes imagines#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes imagines#vancouver canucks fic#vancouver canucks imagine#vancouver canucks
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Limerence (ft. ILLIT Minju)
I don't even know what to call this. Somewhat of a fluff but not really a fluff either. Something that just pops into my mind.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9f4b5368dd5f2d7cc13f81f9435e2293/774fa6248af8de61-86/s540x810/6c873534a4400ffe8fd2445db657fa0a2f8f4ace.jpg)
"So he asked 'Is it better to speak or die?' "
"That's the stupidest story I have ever heard"
Minju leaves no chance for you to savour that feeling that comes after quoting something particularly clever. Or she's just being a jerk as usual.
"You are just anti-romantic"
You protest though you know she will have thought of a retort before you finish.
"There's nothing romantic about this story"
"It's a love story for christ's sake"
"Where's the 'love' ?"
You slump back in your chair, defeated. Either she's too dumb to understand your point or you are just bad at telling stories. The latter's probably more likely.
The story's not an ordinary one in the first place. It involves a knight and a princess but it ends neither with a 'happily ever after' nor a bloodbath where they both rip their hearts out. There isn't even an ending.
'Is it better to speak or die?'
The last sentence on this paper of the dusty hard covered book which has turned yellow from the years it have endured. It's a mircale how it's still intact.
You mummur the question under your breath, trying to make sense of the words. But they are still nothing more than a jumbled mess in your mind.
The funny thing is, this is not your first time reading this story. You are actually too familiar with it. The setting, the characters, the way it almost seems to tell the secret you have carefully hidden; it doesn't make sense that you are still confused what this single question everything has lead up to mean. Still, you are here, no wiser than the first time you have read this tale.
In some time immemorial in an unknown kingdom lived a princess and a knight, each a good friend to another. Perhaps because of this closeness, the knight started to feel something more than companionship to the princess. Feelings that shouldn't exist given their scoial status. The princess knew it too though she ptetends to be oblivious. Nonetheless, the knight found himself unable to express his desires - torn between the fear of losing what he currently has and the turmoil of hiding himself. So one day, when he took his usual walk with the princess through the garden, he mustered up the courage to ask one single question.
"Is it better to speak or die?"
The End.
Anyone can guess at this point that the knight meant if it's better to put his feelings into words and sacrifice their friendship or die knowing that he will never have what he wants. You wish it's that simple.
You and Minju have been stuck in the same page for an hour now, still having no idea how to progress your assignment. The task was a paper on an in depth analysis on a tale of your choice. Now you regret not choosing 'The Tortoise & The Hare".
"Why do you choose this one anyway? There are like a million other better choices"
Minju says, gesturing at the endless shelves of books that surround you on all sides. Not millions but perhaps a thousand other choices you could have made in this rectangular bank of knowledge; the local library.
Somewhere distinct, you hear a bell chimes, signaling the arrival to the later hour of the night. You glance at your watch. It's already 9 pm. A cough reasonates from the counter near the entrance, emitted by none other than the librarian. The ghastly old woman seems to be signalling that we don't have much time left.
I don't have much time left.
Minju's translucent pupils are fixed on you, still waiting for your answer. You break out of the haze.
"Because it's.."
'Relatable'. The word is 'Relatable'. But she doesn't need to know that. Never.
"Interesting I guess"
You finish, not quite daring to meet her eyes. She might see the guilt of your dishonest words in them.
"Seriously? This is interesting? Next time you think something is interesting, feel free to ask my opinion"
"Not everyone have great taste"
You mean it to be a playful jab but her face distorts to something along the line of fury and hurt. And her lips part.
No. Please don't be mad.
Please.
"Jerk"
Her words put out the flames of fear threatening to rise in your chest. There. All good. She's not mad.
You let out a sigh of relief but quickly mask it as a half formed scoff. She can't know. So you waver her attention.
"Tell me then. What's your opinion on this story apart from it being hopelessly stupid"
Her lips stretch to a soft smile. You have put her back into her comfort zone.
"It's not about love like you think. It's about cowardice"
"Enlighten me"
She crosses her arms, the pose she always takes before her rosy lips spill out a waterfall of the most beautiful syllables. It also makes her look superior. The table, which is the only thing between you two seems like a brick wall now.
"The knight doesn't say 'I love you' or anything of that sort, does he? He's scared out of his wits so he decided to go for a safer alternative. That question. It literally says 'I'm a coward who can't even properly confess' "
Is she mocking you?
Probably not. She doesn't know. She will never know.
Still....
'Is it better to spek or die?'
A coward's attempt at love; complicated and imperfect. At least he has the courage to mutter those cowardly words.
"You are not wrong but can't it be that he's just scared of losing her?"
Yes. You are referring to yourself.
But she won't know.
"He already loses her after saying these words"
"You don't know that. You don't know what the pericess's answer was. She could have accepted him"
"You don't know that either"
Now she's fighting you with your own words.
"What would you have answered if you were the princess then?"
Is that an indirect confession? An attempt to ask her opinion without facing the shame that comes after rejection? You hope not.
"I don't know...I would probably ask him to speak in English"
"Not funny at all"
Your answer makes her raise her brows in disbelief as if saying - "I know I will never not be funny to you. You are too obsessed with me not to."
But that's impossible. She doesn't know.
Has she spoken these words aloud, you would happily agree with her. But that's just momentary courage. Your tongue would be tied to knots in a hearbeat if that ever happens.
That begs the question again.
'Is it better to speak or die?'
"Whatever" she says in exasperation. "I'm not lovey dovey enough for this"
"Seriously. Just tell me what you would have said"
There. You are pushing again, desperate for that answer even if it's not directed at you. You would cling to a tiny hope if it's ever a positive one.
"I don't know. Probably tell him to speak because I don't want anyone going suicidal mode because of me"
"He will still go suicidal if you reject him after he confess"
"Why are you asking me those? Were you in such a situation before?"
You surpress a chuckle that nearly slips your tongue.
What a fool you are Minju. You can't even spot the truth that's hidden in plain sight. The truth that has gone rusty and rotten because it has been locked up for so long. Still, it's not her fault.
You have hidden it so well.
She doesn't need to know.
"Yes"
You can't believe you say the word. It's as if someone has possessed you and put those words on your tongue.
"Poor you"
And just like that, it ends.
You have expected her to push you, given her curious nature. You want her to lend you the courage to say those words you have mummur countless times in your dreams. But she just leaves you hanging there like that. Cruel.
Can't blame her though.
She doesn't know.
Another cough pierces through the invisible viel that has seperated you two from the world outside.
9:25 pm.
5 minutes away until this tedious session of back and forth ends.
Why is it that you don't want it to end?
The papers in front of you are bare as they were an hour ago. The book still turned at the same page. The question that haunts you still lies there, imprinted in black.
'Is it better to speak or die?'
Neither. Because that's a stupid question just like Minju said. It's constructed to mess with your mind. You gotta stop dwelling on it.
"Anyway-"
Chimes
That sound. It can only mean one thing.
Minju pulls her phone out of her pocket, the glow of it illuminating her angelic feature as she turns it on. Not a moment sooner, her lips hold the prettiest of smiles.
And in all the wrong ways.
"Gotta go"
Her dismissal cuts through the tense air as she hurriedly put the papers back into her bag. Is she that desperate to get away from you?
"My boyfriend's waiting for me. We have a date tonight"
You are not angry. It would be wrong. Though it's only natural to envy the one who's living your fantasy. But the faults are not in our stars.
"Alright. Goodnight"
Minju's footsteps echo on the mahogany floor as she finally escapes the torturous session you have put her though, flying away to an embrace better than yours in every way.
But it's ok.
Because she doesn't know.
She gives a quick wave to the old librarian who does nothing to reciprocate the action. That hag doesn't know how lucky she is.
"Minju"
You call before the rest of her form disppears through these creaking doors. She turns on her heels, a stray strand of hair clinging like an unifinished piece of art to her forehead. The shadows cast by the moonlight does nothing to hide her.
"Yes?"
You breath.
And utter.
"Is it better to speak or die?"
___________________________________________
Took the famous question from the movie "Call me by your name". Though I alter the story. Thanks for reading this madness.
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Ghosting
Post!Hydra Dark! Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
‘I’ve been ghosting…I’ve been ghosting along, ghost in your house, ghost in your arms.’
Summary: Maybe his tendencies are odd, but maybe the two of you are just meant to be? He doesn’t want to be the ghost that looms around, but what choice does he have?
Warnings: Stalking, dark themes, 18+ content, not intended for minors! Reader gets harassed in the beginning, Bucky is…he’s a little crazy but he means well. Isn’t he so dreamy? Trust the process here.
A/n: I had this idea and I’m going to poorly execute it! Not cannon whatsoever, post Hydra/Winter soldier Bucky but…old habits die hard.
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“You want to come back to my place?”
You scrunched your nose. “That’s um…that’s a kind offer, Connor, but I’m kinda tired.” You politely say as you leave the restaurant.
It’s a bold offer for him to make after a first date- a lousy first date. He made you pay half the bill, made subtle comments about your choice of outfit, talked about himself the entire time. Now, he has the audacity to ask for a lousy hook up.
He looks at you with a confused smile. “No? Oh…okay.”
“I don’t know if you were…expecting something but…I just don’t think we’re the best match.” You say honestly.
He scoffs like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Okay, wow, um…I was trying to be nice because you’re clearly desperate-”
“Desperate?” You choke out a dry laugh.
“-but hey, go ahead and be a tease, that’s fine.”
“What?” You squint, shaking your head. “I’m sorry, I’m a little confused.”
“Yeah, it probably doesn’t take much.” He says with a serious look.
“Wow, what a wasted night.” You say to yourself.
“Yeah tell me about it, you sat there going on and on about your parents and I’m not even going to get head? Hey, newsflash! Your parents are probably just disappointed they have a screw up of a daughter. Seriously, you’re so fucking boring.”
You huff in disbelief, not able to wrap your head around how mean his words are.
“I’m gonna go.” You say. “I hope you can find a decent personality.”
As you turn, walking back in the direction of your apartment, he shouts a few choice words in your direction. You only wrap your coat around you tighter.
Though you hate it, tears burn your eyes. Silently crying in the dark, you place a call to your best friend.
“Hey! How was the date?” She asks in a cheery tone.
Immediately you sniffle. “Pretty bad.”
Your soft sobs echo off of brick walls, all the way up to Bucky sitting on the roof of the building you pass. The sound is enticing, causing him to look over the edge at your figure.
Somehow, he knows that he should just stay where he is, it’s really something he doesn’t need to get involved with.
But…he finds himself hopping over to the next roof, following you. It’s like he’s enticed to do it. Part of him - the small part that’s still sane- recognizes how crazy and creepy he’s being.
The much larger part of him doesn’t give a fuck.
Rooftop to rooftop, he’s like your shadow, listening to your conversation, watching the surroundings around you to make sure you don’t get hurt. He aches for you, utterly displeased that you are upset. Which is a crazy idea because he knows nothing about you.
Well, not for long.
See, it’s like the universe is on his side. Because though he’s not trying to keep track of you, you’re constantly crossing his path. Over the next week, he quickly learns your schedule. He learns that you leave your apartment building at 8am to go to work at the overpriced coffee shop down the street, you usually get off at 3pm. Then your night plans alternate, one night you go to a college class, the other you go to a friend’s house where you don’t come back until very late.
You grocery shop at a Whole Foods, you don’t shop for yourself, you like music, you play the guitar. He watches you open your apartment window and sit on the sill, smoking a cigarette once in a while and that’s how he knows you’re stressed.
At first, he ran into you purely by chance.
But it became almost too easy to pin you down when you lived the same, boring life.
On the coming Saturday, you go on another date. He doesn’t know this until you and the man come into the bar he’s in.
You look gorgeous, like always. You seemed to have this classic elegance about you, and this guy…well, he’s wearing brown shoes and black trousers so there’s no hope.
He tries not to stare, but you laugh so beautifully and your smile is sparkling, then he’s angry because this fool is making you laugh and smile.
You have much hope for this guy, Noah is his name. He’s sweet, he’s funny, he…is so insanely boring.
But you push past it and claim that everyone is a little off on first dates. He pays for your drinks and offers to call you a cab home. What you don’t expect is for the way he grips you sharply in the alleyway of the bar, kissing you heatedly. You awkwardly laugh and try to tell him this wasn’t really your style, but he’s rather persistent.
You feel stupid. Did you give him the wrong signs? He was so good the entire night and this is how it has to end?
“Noah, wait. Wait, stop.” You say, trying push his hands off of you.
“You’re really gorgeous.” He huffs, pulling the strap of your dress down so he can suck on your shoulder.
“I- thank you but really, I don’t want you to do this.” You struggle again, only to be pushed back harder against the brick. Your head hits it and pain blooms in your skull.
“No, it’s okay.” He claims, holding your hands down.
You begin to panic, frozen in fear as you start begging him to let you go.
“Hey.” A voice suddenly says.
You look over at the man who has a very scary look in his eye.
“I think the lady wants you to stop.” He says.
Noah rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you mind your own business?”
Bucky looks at your quivering lip and determines that he can’t do that.
So he sighs, then calmly comes to grip Noah’s shoulder and rips him away from you. He stumbles back, aiming to throw a punch before Bucky stops his fist and punches him in the face, hard enough that he falls to the ground.
You gasp, fixing yourself and quickly wiping your face. The stranger turns to you, eyes searching you.
“Are you hurt?” Bucky asks.
“No. Thank you.”
He nods, then motions to the street. “I’ll get you a cab home.”
You aren’t completely sure what to do, it was all so strange. Looking back to Noah on the ground, you quickly get away from him, trusting this stranger more than anything now.
He does exactly what he says and hails you a cab, watches you get in and shuts the door behind you.
There are no other words spoken.
You drive away and that’s where it’s left.
Or so you think.
In all actuality, that little interaction has been fueling his growing obsession. He’s paying closer attention, in every shadow, you could find him there. But you never do.
From the fire escape, he sometimes- lots of times- he sits when he can’t sleep. He sits on the ledge, concealed in darkness, and silently observes you. Bucky determines that you were strategically placed in his life, you had to be.
The universe was never on his side, so why was he being rewarded now? If he didn’t understand it, it’s because his brain is still trying to connect wires back together. Oh but it does make sense, you’re this shining star, you’re the lark bird with a broken wing and who is he? He’s the man to help.
He recognizes the look in your eye, the gaze that searches for salvation in every person, he knows desperation because it’s been under his mask for years. He could be your savior.
He is.
No, no he won’t force anything. You’ll have to ask, admit that you strive for something other than the cards you have been dealt. But you couldn’t do that if you keep ignoring your ghost.
He’ll pull the sheet off of his head, that’s what he’ll do. He’ll strategically plan the way your paths will cross again, like any good soldier does, and it’s going to open that shut door. He won’t have to look for an open window anymore, physically or metaphorically.
Saturday night. You’re dressed up. You leave your flat in heels and a backless dress. You should really put on a coat, that shall around your shoulders won’t keep the chilly air away.
He watches from the adjacent roof top, he makes sure you get in your cab alright.
He knows you’re going to your best friend’s birthday night out at the city’s newest jazz club, a very elegant place, he’s heard you discussing it with her for weeks.
That’s where he’ll be.
Dressed the part in a suit he’s lifted from the dry cleaners, he’ll lurk around the bar, hide within the crowd, stay far away from the dance floor.
Nostalgia seems to make him feel a little sick, the music, the theme, everything seems to be reconnecting him to the boy he was before.
James Buchanan Barnes. That’s who he needs to be now. Charming and all smiles and smooth talking, he could do, can’t he?
Irritation bites at his nerves when opportunity doesn’t present itself for a while. You seem glued to your star-of-the-show best friend. He admires your loyalty, your blind adoration for a woman who tends to brush you off often for much more interesting people.
How dare she? If you were stitched to his side, he’d never make you feel pushed out, he’d give you his attention, he’d make sure you knew you were the most important thing in the room.
He’s bitter now.
He needs a drink. The idea of it soothes more than the alcohol does, given the fact he could drink three entire bottles before feeling something. That’s a painful disadvantage of the serum in his blood, he couldn’t even effortlessly get drunk to forget his troubles.
At the bar, he orders whiskey neat and pushes his hair back in a huff.
“Hi, could I get another glass of champagne?”
There it was, that voice that’s better than every song being played here.
You stand beside him, smiling at the bartender.
“Actually.” You change your mind. “A Martini, please. No- just a double Tito’s with three olives. Please.”
The barman chuckles at your request and begins to make it for you.
You’re here, all elegant in your green silk dress that compliments your eyes, smelling like your nice perfume, the one you spray on your wrists and behind your ear. Suddenly, Bucky is at a loss of words.
He’s waited around all night and you’re finally here.
You sigh in dissatisfaction, it’s a noise he never ever wants to hear from you ever again.
“Thank you.” You thank the barman again as he slides your drink to you.
Bucky watches you take a sip, he envies the martini glass for the way your lips wrap around the rim. Your eyes shut as you taste the alcohol, dark lashes flutter together and you look just like a doll.
“Rough night?” He questions.
You face him, an excuse on your lips but you pause when you recognize him.
“No, no my evening has been fine. I’m sorry, you look so familiar. Have we met?”
He thinks it’s cute the way you pretend you don’t remember him.
“Briefly, I believe. Outside of the-”
“Outside that bar. Right. You…helped me.” You state, obviously feeling a little embarrassed even though he isn’t sure why you would be.
“That guy was a dick, don’t worry about it.” He says, drawing your eyes back to him.
“Thank you…most people would’ve just kept walking.” You say, genuine tone, vulnerable face.
“Most people suck.”
You laugh, and it’s the best sound he’s known. He smiles, watching you tuck away a strand of hair that has fallen from your updo.
You introduce yourself now, giving him your name to hold, not like a secret.
“I’m James.” He says.
“James.”
His name has belonged on your lips for over a hundred years.
“I like that name.” You determine, sipping on your drink. “What brings you here tonight, James?”
He’s quick to think on his feet.
“A failed double date.”
You give him a questioning look.
“How was it failed? She wasn’t a damsel in distress?” You joke, and he smiles at your smile.
“No, she left with another man. Honestly, it’s fine, I wasn’t interested in her.” He lies, adoring the pout you gain on his behalf.
“That’s a shame, you seem like great company, James.”
He hasn’t been told that for as long as he can remember, well, he can’t remember much, actually. But he does know that he loves getting to know you face to face, not just learning from a distance. There would never be a distance again, he knows this, feels it in the way you accidentally touch his arm as you laugh in conversation.
You feel as if you’ve known him for ages, you haven’t but he sure knows you.
“Why look so drab if you’re celebrating your best friend’s birthday?” He asks, watching you toy with your empty glass before the bartender takes it away.
A sigh leaves your perfect lips. “I’m happy, of course I am…I just, well, sometimes I get looked over. It’s fine, it’s not my night, it’s hers…but somehow it happens very often when her and I go out. I suppose it’s just easy for people to forget I’m around, especially her when she has so many people’s attention.”
He shakes his head, you might as well have confessed to a crime. Those words shouldn’t have left your mouth.
“You’re not easy to forget.” Bucky tells you, his clear, blue, eyes heavy in yours. “In my opinion, you’re much more memorable and-and admirable than her.”
He hasn’t spoken this much in forever, he’s surprised he remembers words as big.
You blush at his compliment. “Really?”
“Really.” He coos. “Girls like her are a dime a dozen, but not you. I could tell from the moment I saw you, you have something far more interesting than her.”
You selfishly let his words flatter you for a moment.
“She’s my best friend since high school, she’s really been there for me so for that I am grateful but…well, she has a tendency to make me a sidekick. I don’t like being Robin.” You laugh.
Bucky pretends he knows who you’re talking about.
“You deserve to be the hero.” He chimes.
You giggle. “I am no Captain America.”
That has him at a loss for words.
You don’t notice though. You look over to the stage, the band plays a slow throwback, a smooth jazz song.
The alcohol bas mostly calmed your nerves, and the way your best friend has yet to notice your absence, has you making an offer you’d never make.
“Are you a fan of Frank Sinatra, James?” You ask.
“Never heard of him.” He jokes, definitely finding it far more amusing than you do.
“Do you dance?” You question now, boldly taking his hand.
You haven’t figured out the deal with the gloves he wears yet, but you don’t ask in fear you’ll offend him.
And though he said he’d stay far from the dance floor, he’s blindly guiding you to the space where the others sway, it’s like he’s enchanted by the low lighting on your skin, or the way you’re so willing to let him in. He’s not even sure he remembers how to dance, but he falls right into the rhythm like it’s always been with him.
Gentle, he’s oh so gentle with you, you have no clue how much he’s thinking about the touch he’s giving you.
It’s you who gets flirty, hand sliding over his shoulder to gently hold the back of his neck, you gently press into his rather broad frame.
You can see the way your best friend’s eyes finally find you, and she’s immediately curious.
You’re immediately frightened.
She’s going to want him, she’s always had the same taste as you.
You let out a shaky breath and look away.
“What’s wrong?” He immediately asks in a protective tone as he feels you go rigid in his hands. His defense is up, he looks around the room for a threat.
“Nothing, sorry. I’m sorry, I’m okay.” You let out a soft laugh, laying your head on his chest.
The action immediately distracts him.
Here you were, falling right into him like you were meant to, his perfect girl.
He tucks that loose hair behind your ear, he lets his fingers gently trace down your spine until he comes back to hold your waist.
“Your heart’s beating pretty fast.” He says close to you, not thinking about the possibility of you asking just how he could tell.
“I’m trying not to step on your shoes.” Is all you say with a fleeting giggle.
As the song closes, you’re in some sort of dream land. It’s not the alcohol, even if it was a strong drink, it’s all him.
That elated feeling continues as he pulls you away from the crowd, and it dissipates right when your best friend finds you.
“There you are!” She smiles at you. “I see you’ve made a friend.”
You should just go home.
“This is James.” You say, watching them greet each other.
“It’s my birthday, James.” She tells him in her tipsy tone.
He looks at her birthday sash and nods. “I can see that. Happy birthday.”
“Thank you. You can give me a gift later if you want.”
You should really just go home and put on your sweats and a movie.
But then you feel his hand on the small of your back.
“We’re actually going for a stroll.” He says, because what else is he to say? That your friend’s actions aren’t attractive? How she comes on far too strong in the worst way? Perhaps he’s only in this mindset because he can see the way your face fell when she posed a threat.
She’s no threat, sweet girl. No one is a threat to you, ever, not now that I’m here.
He says it with his eyes as you look up at him in question. The gentle nod he offers has you easing. A stroll sounds nice.
You find yourself agreeing? How is it so easy to agree and tell your friend good night? It’s as easy as your hand around his- large- bicep as the two of you walk the glimmering night streets of the city.
He makes you feel so…secure. Maybe this is how girls get kidnapped and turn up dead in alleyways, but you feel the need to trust him with your life.
You feel the need to grow obsessive over every word and touch he gives you.
Maybe that’s how you end up showing him your apartment. He acts like he’s never seen it before.
And he has not one intention on things going further- well, maybe just one. But he’s a perfect gentleman, drinking the coffee you make him, complimenting your music collection, asking about the instrument in the corner.
It’s all you who gets closer.
And as your lips touch, you can’t help but think this is insane.
You should pull away, but then he grips your waist and deepens the kiss and you completely lose your mind.
He’s a stranger in your home, on your lips.
But is he really?
“I’m sorry.” You immediately say when he pulls back and turns his head away. “I-I don’t do this, a lot of girls say that, but I really don’t do this.”
He knows you don’t, and the fact that you’re doing it with him has him trying to control himself.
“I’m sorry.”
You apologize too much. He’s going to have to fix that.
“No, no.” He says, looking back down at you. “Don’t. It’s me, not you.”
“I’ve heard that before.” You laugh awkwardly, anxiously.
His hand comes to your cheek. “Hey, no it really is me. You’re perfect, I…am not.”
Your brows droop together. “You seem pretty perfect to me…I’m pretty sure I like you. Is that crazy?”
How sweet, how innocent.
He struggles with his emotion like he always does, too confused to put things into words, and the confusion turns into irritation and soon he’s huffing and drawing both hands to your face, like it will help.
“Not crazy.” He says. “I like you too, I’m certain of it…but I am not perfect, do you understand?”
He’s a magician, or he’s drugged you. James speaks assertively and it’s like you’re in a daze, just nodding along.
He sees that spark in your eye, in that moment his suspicions are confirmed. He’s watched you strike out on dates because you try with men who don’t understand what you need. Only he knows, only he knows you want someone to comfort and lead you. That’s how he gets you to do as he asks, which all just consists of changing out of that damn gorgeous dress and relaxing on your sofa with him. But in the long run, he knows you’ll follow with your blind loyalty and never forsake him.
He doesn’t let you be nervous, thinking he’s expecting something from you. He sits and lets you decide how close you want to be next to him, and that’s because Bucky is confident you’ll be following right along in his plan without his assistance.
You sit about five inches away from him, knees curled to your chest in your flannel pants and you bunch your sweater sleeves around your hands. When it’s supposed to be a two way conversation, you hardly notice how he lets you do all the talking.
That’s because he isn’t sure how to go about explaining things to you yet, he has to wait for the moment he’s confident you’re all in on this.
“It’s weird, I feel so comfortable around you…like I already know your presence.”
You do, you just don’t know that.
Bucky hums, then is immensely pleased with the way you draw yourself closer.
“Sometimes people are just like that. Familiar.” He says, slightly stiff as you turn to lean into his shoulder.
“I’m glad you seem familiar, James.”
That’s a statement echoing in his haunted mind, bouncing off walls as he carries you to bed and tucks you in after you fall asleep against him, it’s with him in the following days when he shows up in your life again after you had the fear you were never going to see him. You woke up and he was gone, no note, no number to call and you cried and felt pathetic and yet, here he is now.
Bucky is waiting outside the coffee shop as you come out after your shift, he looms in such a way you almost don’t see him.
“James.” You say in surprise, heart beating a little faster at the abrupt introduction of him. “Hi, I-I didn’t- were you waiting for me? Meeting someone?”
Bucky smiles at your nervousness. “I was waiting for you.”
Interactions like this become common. Before you realize it, you’re getting to know someone who has you memorized perfectly. There’s no concern on how to reach him, because he always manages to find you, he’s always there when you need him. And weeks pass and Bucky wants to hear you say his name a thousand times over, his obsession grows and you know it.
The best part? You don’t mind it. Sure, it’s an adjustment, your whole life has been a constant fight for attention. So when he’s here, physically ignoring people when you’re near him, your first reaction is to think it won’t last.
He assures you through his actions that he is here to stay, because when he wants something, he takes it.
You could classify this as dating, wouldn’t you? Those nights he takes you away to places where it’s just the two of you, those are dates in your mind. To Bucky? There what life is meant to be like forever.
A month after the meeting in the bar, you’re sitting in your lounge chair, murmuring about how much you hate your job and the fact that you can’t seem to get a better one, it’s a conversation Bucky hears often. And somewhere from the moment you’re draped over his lap and his hand nudges your chin up when you get blue, you sigh.
“You never touch me.” You say, large eyes blinking at him.
Bucky grows confused. “That’s not true.” He states.
Your head rests against his collar bone, face almost nuzzles into his neck and you reach for his hand.
“I don’t know the feeling of your skin.”
It’s in this moment that he knows you’re ready for the truth, as much of it as you can handle.
When you started to fall for James, you knew he was different, had a different energy about him. Never in a million years did you expect him to start explaining a story so dark and horrid, and it’s only the version he alters for you, not having it in him to taint your perfect mind with the entire nightmare.
He talks more than you’ve ever heard him talk, for thirty two minutes you sit in his lap with wide eyes and a pale expression, trying to wrap your head around it. You have about a hundred and one questions and can’t fully form any, you wait until he finishes, then he looks at you with something so humble and vulnerable.
“…What?” You breathe. “What!?”
You’re off of his lap, pushing the sleeves of your shirt up and starting a pace while you try to process the information. He sits there, watching you, letting you get through the shock.
“James- you know that sounds crazy, right? Metal arm, wanted by the government, over a hundred years old- crazy.”
You continue to mutter and work through the sheer fear of ‘oh God what did you just get yourself into?’, then after about eight and a half minutes, you settle.
Just like he knew you would. Because that’s the kind of woman you are, able to think things through from an alternate perspective.
You stand before him, hair tucked behind your ears and you breathe.
“I want to see.” You state, sure of it.
“Why?” He questions.
“I might not believe you otherwise.”
You believe him, of course you do, this is something that could only happen to you. The more you think about it, this story explains things. Like the way he always hold you with his right hand, how he goes rigid at the mention of things that could be triggering for him and you had no clue.
Bucky processes it, then stands.
A glove comes off, a perfectly normal, large, right hand is under it.
Then, the other.
You blink, staring at the metal that has been revealed, shiny and silver.
He swallows hard, then pulls at the hem of the henley shirt he wears. It lands on the floor and you don’t move, just let your eyes explore the new discovery. Up his right arm, toned bicep, broad shouldered, expanding chest, down his stomach and back up and then…
His head turns, he looks away when you see it, the scarred skin of his left shoulder. It’s jarred, metal meets flesh and you can’t look away.
Maybe you should be repulsed, but you aren’t. You step forward, hand raised and he flinches slightly.
“Can I? I-I’ll be gentle.” You whisper.
If you were not made just for him, you would have left already, screamed perhaps, anything but let your fingertips graze his skin with no anger or malice behind it.
He continues to look away while you explore, and even though you’re filled with curiosity, a sour feeling stirs in your stomach at the thought someone did this to him.
“What is it?” You ask, your index running down the metal, watching it flex almost human like.
“Vibranium.” He says, tone bare.
“This is like…Stark technology stuff.” You gasp, watching his fingers flex.
He lets out a shaky breath at the Stark name, you make a mental note to not speak of it again.
Your hand skims the expanse of his chest, firm, tense. Had you truly not realized just how huge he is? Down his flesh arm, fingers follow valleys of muscle until they slip right into his. His hand is warm and entirely engulfing yours.
The other, it holds the back of his neck, lost in his hair, forcing him to look down at you, just in time for you to lean up and kiss him slowly.
You’re okay with it, all of it.
Perhaps you’re secretly just as crazy as he is?
With your hand in his, he has no choice but to grab your waist with the thing he viewed as a weapon. You do not hurt, he does not maim you like he has feared, you draw closer to his body and show him kindness and comfort.
There was no going back now, you couldn’t reject him now. Not when you’re shifting your head to allow him to deepen the kiss. The sky outside could be falling and you’d still be here, barefoot in your living room, tip toed to reach him. His hand leaves yours to cup your jaw, fingers flexed into skin like he could sink claws in.
Your hot. It’s a heat that blooms inside out and you find your hand twisting in hair and the other drawing his hips closer. Perhaps your actions shouldn’t come like this after he explained how tortured he is, but he does not stop you. In fact, it’s Bucky that nips at your lip, drawing you away in shock.
“You bit me.” You state, shocked.
“Sorry.” He says deeply.
Licking your lower lip, you shake your head. “No, it’s fine.”
That had to be it, that connection he felt, it’s because you could handle insanity.
Huffing against his lips, you breathe, open mouthed into his. “Is the serum a real thing?” You question before his tongue slips to yours.
Without a word, he’s gripping your sides and pulling you up, feet dangle before your thighs trap his waist, just one arm holding you there.
Okay. Serum’s real.
It’s hot mouths on each other until you tell him to take you to your bedroom.
“Listen to me.” He says as he sits you on the bed. “Don’t give me this just because you think it’s what I want.”
Immediately you shake your head. “No, no, I want this.”
He strokes your hair. “Think this through, there’s no going back after this, okay? You’ll be tied to me, you’ll be guilty by association, if you have me this once, I’ll want to keep coming back.”
Your heart hammers inside your chest, knees press together and your lips hang apart.
“You won’t have to keep coming back if you stay.” You say, reaching out to grip the top of his jeans. “I want it all.”
Psychotic, absolutely psychotic for speaking the words you speak and mean it so deeply. How could you say such things and still look like an angel? And how could you make him feel the way he does when you do nothing at all?
Bucky’s drunk, he’s gone, he doesn’t even know if it’s him or yet another alter ego that is enjoying all of this. But he’s undressing you and feeling every single valley and curve and soft spot. His lips are everywhere, pressed to your bare skin as you trust him with the most vulnerable parts of yourself. He’s kind to you, bringing you to a point where he knows you’re going to be relaxed enough for it. It’s his fingers that draw it out, they’re warming you up, causing your head to tilt back in ecstasy.
It courses in his blood, the rush he gets from watching you twitch and moan.
There’s stars that dance across your vision, they linger and burn, especially when you start to come down from the high you haven’t felt in awhile and he’s kissing your chest while lined up to your entrance.
“You can tell me no.” He offers one last time, but you shake your head fiercely.
“I want it.” You say, hand in his hair. “Do you?”
Does he? What a silly question for you to ask. He wants your everything, he wants to lay his claim and make you belong to with him. He wants to know you inside and out, wants to feel the way you’ll shudder and cry when he pushes you off the precipice.
“Yes.” He whispers, heavy eye contact as he stares down at you. “I want this. I want you.”
Your free hand comes to gently clutch the dog tags that hang from his neck, and you’re slightly breathless as you drag him down to your lips.
“You have me, you have me.”
Those pesky wires in his brain? The ones that are half connected? Well, they’re short circuiting. Maybe the wrong ones connect, because the level of possession he feels now isn’t one he thinks is normal. As the asset, he wasn’t allowed to possess anything, he was the possession…and before? Before the war and the snowy day in Austria and everything, he was sure he didn’t feel this way.
This is new, this is entirely because of you.
One hand braced at your head, the other grips the underside of your knee, keeping it far from the other and he pushes into you, maybe too fast.
The gasp that escapes your lungs is sharp and long, your eyes squeeze shut and he mirrors your drawn brows.
“I know, I know.” He comforts. “Breathe. There you go, just like that, my girl.”
His girl.
Toes are curled into the sheets. Maybe it’s because you haven’t done this in a while, or maybe because he’s so…big. You hide in his neck, chest heaving, fingers gripping his hair in hopes of relieving the pressure.
“Am I hurting you?” He asks, trying to get you to look at him.
“I just- ah, I need a second. I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing for things.” He grunts in your ear. “We could stay like this for an hour, if that’s what you need.”
With the slight adjustment of your hips under him, you breathe out. “I-I’m okay, please, do something.”
Your normally soft voice has gained an octave, it’s bordering a whine, pinched and breathless and oh so desperate. And just like that, he slowly drags out and back in and it’s the best feeling he has ever known, better than the relief that comes after the electric shock stops.
He’s courteous, he’s gentle and slow and it’s soothing to the burn between your legs, all the way up until you get comfortable and needy for more.
Holding his jaw, you kiss him deeper, with no concern for how messy it is.
“More, please.” You say into his open mouth.
“So polite.” He teases, moving a hand up to your hip.
You choke on your inhale as he quickens his pace, driving into you in such a vulgar way, you’re threatening to arch off the mattress. But he holds you down and you take it, you take it as well as he knew you would, with nails digging into his back.
“Oh- like this. Ah, James, it’s so good.” You say, slack jawed and whiney.
You sound perfect, because you sound like this just for him. He has to grunt with a face of contortion.
“It’s because you take it so well, such a good girl.”
You blush violently at the moan that you let out, and from the way you flutter around him, he has a feeling you like the name you don’t get called often.
He might not 100% remember doing things like this, but he figures it out perfectly, encouraging you to tell him what you want and how you want it. But you’re so shy. He’s practically buried in your cervix, and you’re acting shy.
He laughs at you.
“You’re too sweet.” Is what he comments before making it his mission to figure out what it is exactly that you want.
That unserious and unspoken thought that you had to be a little crazy in order for you to be so perfect, it might just be true. Because Bucky sits back on his knees and grabs your hips, pulling them up to match the way he thrusts deeply into you, and you love it.
You love it so much, you curse and he gains a look of surprise.
His angel girl is writhing and cursing.
“Fuck, I think you’re in my stomach.” You laugh, you laugh. He’s fucking you in a way soft lovers would cringe at, and you’re laughing with pleasure.
You’re perfect.
Bucky doesn’t even know if he’s fully conscious anymore, he has to be, right? It’s not guaranteed with the haze in his head and the film over his eyes and the voice that whispers over and over.
Take, take, take. It says.
брать, брать, брать.
It sounds good in both languages.
Almost as good as the sound of you practically shouting praise. Maybe it’s intense for the first time, but nothing about this relationship was going to be subtle and calm.
You don’t want it to be.
That knot forms in your stomach, it shoots heat everywhere, your heart beats so loud you’re convinced he can hear it. Your back will ache from the way it’s arched, but it all feels too good to be a concern.
“I’m getting close.” You cry, legs shaking around him, hand over your mouth.
He leans back over you and takes the hand away, caging it to the pillow, under his.
“I want to hear you. I want to hear the noise you make when you come for me.” He tells you, hot breath mixing with yours.
You nod, wide eyes, aimed to please.
Bucky’s fingers curl with yours and that’s how he keeps your hand while the your other is damaging the skin of his back. He is no stranger to pain, and the fact you don’t mean to inflict it has his lips on your throat. His teeth graze the skin, like he’s the wolf ready to rip it apart. When he does bite the skin and you jolt at the feeling, you can only assume it’s a tic that he comes with.
His tongue presses to ease any discomfort, and hips are heavy into yours as he drives you to the point of breaking apart.
It’s high pitched and sob like, how you cry and tense against him. That hand squeezes his to ground yourself, and your head tips back, pressed into the pillow, and you lose it.
He watches in amazement and that voice is so pleased.
Mine, mine, mine.
It all pushes him overboard.
He does his best to work you through it, then he’s pulling out too fast and fisting himself to finish the job, painting across your stomach and he can’t look away.
You mourn the loss of contact, but far too overwhelmed to do anything about it. You look at him with blurry eyes, hot tears have leaked into your hair and he’s looking at the way his spend lays across your skin.
Then, deep blue eyes flick back up to yours and he’s….proud.
“You with me?” He asks in a husky tone.
You nod with a heavy head.
That’s when he finally lets go of your hand, moving to rub your cheek before he grips your jaw. Not tight, nothing to hurt you, but he grips it and your swollen lips part.
“It’s you and me now. You’re mine, do you understand?”
You shouldn’t love the sound of that but you do. So you nod, eyes heavy, skin aflame. He wipes tears, kissing you sweet and like he’s following orders, he cleans you up wordlessly.
Later, he’ll watch you sleep because you can’t fight it anymore, and he’ll know that feeling in his chest has settled. He’s a ghost with a home now, he’ll stay because you invited him in.
#bucky barnes#the winter soldier#bucky barnes fanfiction#marvel#bucky barns x reader#the winter solider x reader#the winter solider fanfiction#bucky barns imagine#james bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x you#the avengers#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barns fanfiction#smut#james barnes#bucky barnes smut#the winter soldier smut
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AS SAID BY JASON TODD/ROBIN/RED HOOD * assorted dialogue from multiple dc universe sources, adjust as necessary
i did it once for dramatic effect and it just got to be a habit.
you can't tell, but i'm dozing off under this mask.
a whole night in paris... and i managed to not kill anyone. not bad.
you made the same mistake everyone does when it comes to me.
i want to warn them... but i know i can't.
don't know, don't care. i got my hands full.
do you remember the last time we were together?
looks like you guys could use a hand!
i'm looking for someone.
i'm afraid it's about to get much worse.
the angry, reckless vigilante bit is my thing.
i'm not good or bad. i'm just practical as hell.
you and i are more alike than you realize.
i get it. starting over is scary as hell.
i don't even need to turn around to know that's you.
thanks for thinking of me. i'm happy to help. honored, even.
i generally have several madness-inducing hallucinations before breakfast.
nothing in the real world can be as frightening as what we can imagine... right?
you don't think i understand what it's like to be abandoned? forgotten?
i'll be damed if my best friend is going to die... because he was dumb enough to trust me.
i'm sorry. i'm never going to be the hero you want me to be.
next time i see you, i'm going to kick your butt for this dying crap.
you have ten seconds to walk way. nine... oh, screw it.
there are better ways to spend your energy.
that looks like it's gotta hurt. well, i say that like i'm speculating or something. i know it hurts.
we chose to be a family.
if there's hope for us... there's hope for everyone.
you still haven't figured it out?
life's just a game... and this time, you lose.
i seem to have made myself an enemy of all the bad guys.
it's too late. you had your chance.
i'm just getting started.
hard to forget that night, huh?
in a way, this was the site of your first great failure.
ah... memories.
you can't stop crime. that's what you never understood.
you want to rule them by fear, but what do you do to those who aren't afraid?
i'm doing what you won't.
i'm taking them out.
now tell me... how does it feel?
is that what you think this is about?
i don't know what clouds your judgement worse. your guilt or your antiquated sense of morality.
i forgive you for not saving me.
he took me away from you.
i am no one's son.
what do you think this was all about?
welcome to planet earth, baby.
fear isn't the answer.
you son of a bitch.
we were friends, helping each other pick up the pieces of our lives.
it might not be a popular thought, but not everyone wants to be alive.
can you hear it?
funny, i actually escaped death.
the past keeps dragging me back.
they're not monsters. they're victims of programming, abuse, and trauma.
they can change.
fact is, they're just like us.
we became something else.
you hurt a lot of people.
we don't discriminate here.
sometimes you don't know what you want 'til you learn what you don't.
trust? you? i'll give it a try. but i'll tell you right now, i'm probably going to screw it up.
guys like us? the life we lead? we're never truly alone.
i have no idea who you people are.
you pompous ass.
before i kill you, i want the truth.
i'd like to think i'm an open-minded guy.
sure it was fun. but does that mean it was right?
sometimes i wonder if i'm just part of the problem.
i'm not doing one more damn mission with them unless you get me someone i can trust to watch my back.
knew you couldn't do it.
it's official. class is in session.
#rp meme#mcflymemes#rp memes#rp prompt#roleplay memes#roleplay prompt#rp starters#ask meme#ask memes#roleplay meme#jason todd#roleplay inbox prompts#rp inbox meme#inbox prompt#inbox meme#sentence starter prompt#sentence starter#sentence starters#red hood#GIFT FOR YOU BLYTHE ILY!!!!
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Bleeding ࿐ྂ Kinktober. 20, oct.
(late post)
— pairing: Alicent Hightower x lady in waiting!reader
— type: smut, angst, Kinktober (House of the Dragon Edition)
— kink: period sex + blood kink
— summary: Alicent did not want to be Queen Consort. She did not want to be King Viserys' second wife. She did not want to be Aegon II's mother. Alicent Hightower just wanted to love girls.
— word count: 2k
— tags/warnings: kinktober 20th day, female!reader, young!Alicent, period sex, blood kink, light dubcon, friends to lovers, friends with benefits, rough sex, tribadism/scissoring, argument, nipple play, underage sex, light unconscious sex, mild hurt/comfort, mild angst, lactation kink, breastfeeding, light dumbification, overstimulation, degradation, choking, family issues, crying, dacryphilia, sexism, curse words, implied/referenced cheating, breast worship, religious guilt, sexuality crisis, aftercare, love triangle (Alicent Hightower x reader x Rhaenyra Targaryen), motherhood themes, mommy kink, Aegon Targaryen II mentioned, minor Alicent Hightower x Viserys Targaryen, minor Alicent Hightower x Rhaenyra Targaryen, minor Gwayne Hightower x reader, ambiguous/open ending, lesbian!Alicent, bisexual!reader, sub!Alicent, dom!reader, canon divergence, porn with plot. no use of y/n. english is not my first language.
— tagging list: @baybaybear1 @blessedbymoon @p45510n4f4shi0n @lina-lovebug @moonnicole @badger-reads @turdettethefirst
— crossposting: AO3
Ever since Alicent had given birth to Aegon, she had grown distant from her best friend, Rhaenyra, and had become more lonely. Rhaenyra did not like Aegon because he reminded her of the male children her father had lost, he reminded her of her mother's brutal death during childbirth.
Sometimes, not even Alicent herself liked her son. Every time she looked at those violet eyes, the rosy cheeks and the silver hair, she was reminded of King Viserys. How he had fucked her tight cunt without even worrying about her pleasure. How she had kept her eyes open throughout the entire act, hoping it would end soon so she could distance herself from the older man's sweaty body and return to her own chambers.
Looking at the little boy made Alicent think about how their fates were set forever. She would just be a brood mare until Viserys no longer had the strength to keep fucking her. And Aegon would be just a lamb in the midst of all that chaos from Targaryen family. An heir, or not. A king, or not. Perhaps just a stupid adult with stupid kids in the future. Just as she probably would be too.
She was so afraid that Aegon would stop being a cute baby and become an evil man. This happened to most men. Their mothers gave birth to them with so much love and they were destined to die little by little watching their boys' development, each maternal disappointment being like daggers inside their hearts and inside their wombs, who had bled so much to bring their children into the world.
Alicent could even picture Aegon in his future, visiting brothels, masturbating like a dog in heat, making bastards in the streets, being a shame not only for the Targaryen family, but mainly for Alicent, his own mother. She wanted to put him back in her womb and stop him from anything evil he could do or be.
"Your Grace, did you call me?" Your voice discreetly entering the Queen's private chambers, avoiding looking at her figure under the sheets. It was nothing you had not seen. You had helped her during Aegon's birth, but you also knew her body for other reasons. You were her lady-in-waiting since her childhood, always close to her despite being a few years older. Otto Hightower had entrusted his daughter's good reputation to you since the three of you moved to King's Landing before her and the King's marriage. You did your tasks splendidly, too perfectly.
Especially into her bed.
"I thought you would not come, love..." Alicent murmured with a more fragile way than she intended and you tried hard not to show any pitying face. You were still angry about your last argument.
"You call me, I come. It is always like that, is not it?" Your passive-aggressive accusation made her swallow hard with shame and self-loathing. She was not the best person to deal with feelings. Ever since her marriage to Viserys, Alicent had been confused. About her faith. About her sins. About her extramarital desires. About Rhaenyra. About you. Especially about you two.
Gods, she wanted both of you so much that sometimes it hurts. Alicent wanted not to be married to the King, she wanted not to have a child, she wanted to be free. She wanted to be a man.
The young redhead fiddled with her fingers for a few moments, sitting on the bed and still covered by the silk sheet. She wanted to apologize for the argument, to say that she would try to talk less about her chaotic friendship or situationship with Rhaenyra. However, she knew that none of this would help. You were angry by her past confession about sleep with Rhaenyra a few times before her marriage to the King. You thought you were special to her. You really thought you were the only one, since Viserys Targaryen was just a puppet in Otto's hands. The affair with her was special. Or at least it should be.
You sighed after her long silence, seeing how Alicent looked away, choosing to look at any part of the chambers that was already so well known to her. "Why did not you call your friend Rhaenyra?" Your mockery tone did not go unnoticed and she flinched.
"I am... Bleeding. Rhaenyra does not like licking my vaginal blood." She said embarrassed. You knew what that meant. Alicent always hated admitting how turned on she was when those days came. The days she was sure she was not pregnant again. It was a mix of relief and arousal. She was so sensitive, so fucking needy...
But this time, you did not lower yourself between her thighs. This time, you looked at her with a cold gaze. So cold that she did not think even the strongest Dracarys from any Targaryen could melt.
"Then you want me to lick all your pretty little cunt to ease your pain and arousal, just because the princess is disgusted by that?" You questioned without a hint of affection that was always there, tearing your light blue dress with gold details with an almost animalistic speed. Now there was only resentment that she was reaping due to her own actions.
Alicent's already big eyes widened, pink lips parted with complete shock, as if you had said the most perverse thing that could come out of a girl's lips. "A-are you insane? Mind your tongue and do not dare to use that kind of language with me!" She tried to growl, to look intimidating. Tried to look like a Targaryen. Tried to sound like Rhaenyra.
But she was not a Targaryen. She was Alicent. Alicent Hightower. The ambitious teenager who spent hours inside the Septs, kneeling in front of some statue. She was also Alicent Hightower, the teenager who begged the Gods for forgiveness and mercy every time she pictured her best friend and current stepdaughter rubbing the wet core with some silver hairs on her lips, while you, her lady-in-waiting, would eat her out until she squirt all over your face.
This thought had appeared in Alicent's mind so many times that she had already surrendered, fucking her fingers inside herself under the sheets several nights. Like a true pathetic whore.
"You have no right to treat me as if you were just my Queen." It was your turn to growl, lower but much more intimidating, checking if the door was really locked before walking towards Alicent's bed with long strides, not caring about her wide eyes as you pulled the sheets away from her body, revealing the semi-transparent nightgown that highlighted the curves acquired since Aegon's pregnancy.
"BUT I AM YOUR QUEEN!" Alicent yelled, trying to deprive your of her dignity, but it was too late. You had seen the dry crimson stain on her fingers, causing you to laugh instantly.
"You are nothing but a spoiled greedy whore. That is what you are." The whisper filled with sarcasm made Alicent curl up even more into the pillow. "How long have you been trying to fuck your disgusting needy hole without even being able to cum?"
Your question went unanswered and you finally snapped, losing your patience and grabbing her neck, pushing her further onto the bed as you climbed onto the bed while you climbing on top of her vulnerable body. "Answer me, Your Grace!"
However, now your plea sounded more desperate and hurt than angry. She could see how your eyes were full of tears and how you were trying your best to fight them off. You hated feeling so hungry for Alicent. She should be your responsibility, nothing more than that. You should not care if she was thinking about Rhaenyra or not, as long as she did not tarnish the reputation of House Hightower or Viserys' reign. "SEVEN HELLS, ALICENT! ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!"
"Over an hour ago, love. I was thinking about you two, you and Nyra..." Alicent sobbed after your shout, tears streaming down her soft cheeks as well, slightly losing consciousness for a few seconds from crying so much. She did not realize what you were doing with her body until you arched your head back, a strangled moan escaping your lips with pleasure and agony. It was then that she felt a different wetness rubbing against hers. It was not just your juices. It was... It was blood. Just like hers. It was the blood from your cunt mixing with her blood.
"O-oh, Gods. You are bleeding too..." Alicent whimpered, trying to move so she could keep up with the rhythm and give you even more pleasure, but your hands that kept her legs open stopped her. She moaned, looking at you with big sad eyes, which you ignored without any mercy, your gaze focused on the way your blood-stained cunts met each other, swollen clits pulsing against each other.
If it had been before, Alicent would have found it disgusting. She would find it disgusting how you started squeezing her breast when you increased the speed of your hips. Her breasts was still so large and heavy with Aegon's milk, she had created more curves and unfortunately some stretch marks, and you loved every part of all of this, playing with her nipple and smirking between moans when some milk flowed out.
She should find repulsive the way her own milk ran down her belly, some spots reaching the place where the two of you fit. You raised an eyebrow despite the haze of pleasure, as if you were asking permission for something. Instead of answering, Alicent also pressed her own breast, her hand now wet with breast milk, before she reached for both cunts, rubbing yours and then hers, getting them more overstimulated so you could move with more easily.
It was a disgusting mess. The gooey sounds, the blood and milk mixed on your buds, the way her nipple was still dripping. You were the first to cum, biting your lip until blood came out, avoiding moaning the Queen's name too loudly. Your cunt spasmed until your legs shook, your body falling on top of Alicent and the sight of your intense climax made her reach the release too. Even knowing the possible consequences, Alicent did not hold back. She moaned your name like a whore. Like the cheapest prostitute in the brothels on Street of Silk. Like the women that all the Targaryens fucked hidden from their wives. Like the women her firstborn and perhaps her next sons would fuck in the future. Like her future daughter would moan around some man's cock, if one day she had the divine blessing of giving birth to a little girl to try to protect her from all the evil in Westeros.
Alicent caressed your cheeks, grateful that you did not mind the mixture of blood, juices and breast milk that stained your face as she gave you affection, pulling your soft mouth close to her left nipple so that you could be breastfed like a baby. Her baby. You did not know what to say, you were too overwhelmed by the situation. Every argument with Alicent Hightower ended like this, feeding you as if you were a little orphan child and she a childless mother or a widowed wife. A widowed Queen.
"I wish we could be happy, love..." Alicent whispered with some melancholy, placing a kiss on your forehead and letting a tear escape. "B-but... But I hope my brother Gwayne will be a good husband to you. The husband you deserve. The husband I cannot be to you or to Nyra." You did not answer, nodding weakly and looking at your betrothal ring with the perfect green jewel on top. You did not want Gwayne Hightower. You did not want Alicent Hightower to be a man. You just wanted Alicent the way she was. A girl. Your girl. You wanted Alicent Hightower to be your wife. And she wanted that too.
HOTD Edition - Masterlist
Criminal Minds Edition - Masterlist
Venusbyline's Kinktober 2024 - Masterlist
#venusbyline#venusbyline's kinktober#kinktober 2024#kinktober#kinktober masterlist#kinktember#november writing challenge#november writing prompts#writing challenge#my fics#my writing#alicent hightower x reader#alicent hightower#alicent hightower x you#alicent hightower x female reader#hotd smut#hotd x reader#hotd x you#hotd fanfic#house of the dragon#alicent hightower x rhaenyra targaryen#alicent hotd#alicent x reader#alicent hightower smut#alicent x rhaenyra#rhaenicent#rhaenicent x reader#smut scenarios#smut fanfiction#hotd angst
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hiii! i read your fic about reader x vi where the reader passes and omg it broke my heart so…for the sake of my sanity! can we have a pt 2 where it expands on the days afterwards and how vi grieves ! alsooo if you could maybe a time skip where vi either moves on (that girl would NEVER) or she stays single until she herself eventually passes :(( anyway thank u sm!
hello! first off, thank you for reading my fic, and i'm sorry to have broken your heart 🥺 i just had that idea rolling around in my head, and i couldn't help myself. ;-; but i'd be more than happy to do a pt 2 where we look into how vi copes (she Does Not Cope).
tw//mention of character death (reader), vi x f!reader
part 1
--------
Life instantly becomes meaningless after you die. It's as if the world is void of colour, leaving everything in shades of grey.
It's horribly depressing, but it makes sense. You were what gave her world meaning, you were what give her world beauty and now...you weren't there anymore.
So what was the point of anything?
She slips into drinking again, heavy liquors that numb the pain and made the grey world go away. She's angry, she's fury as she punches anyone who dares look at her for even a second too long. She's tired, exhausted and all she wants to do is sleep. But sleep isn't kind, it eludes her and when she's able to catch it, all she sees behind her eyes is you.
You laughing.
You smiling.
You holding her close and telling her everything is going to be alright.
You.
"You can't continue on like this," Caitlyn says, having appeared at Vi's door five minutes ago. She's a concerned friend, her brow furrowed with worry. "You...this isn't what she would want." She struggles for a second to find the right words. "She'd want you to heal and find some sort of peace and—"
"You think I don't know that, Cait?" Vi interrupts and she sounds exhausted. Her voice is hoarse, dry from thirst and sucking in too deep breaths when she cries. "You don't think I know she wouldn't want this for me?" She gestures around herself, at the mess of her small apartment and the mess that is herself. "I...try so hard to even get up in the morning but it feels so fucking pointless because she isn't here when I open my eyes."
Something akin to pity flickers through Caitlyn's eyes as she watches Vi slump down onto her bed, her head in her hands.
"I loved her for so long," Vi murmurs. "Since I was thirteen and didn't even know what love was." She lifts her head to stare at the ceiling. "And when I finally gathered up the courage to confess to her at sixteen, I was so happy when she returned my feelings." A weak smile curves her lips as she lowers her head, looking right at Caitlyn. "We had plans. We talked about how we were going to leave this place and explore the world. See what we could bring back to Zaun to make it better. We were going to take Powder so she could finally fly on one to those airships and..." Vi trails off, going quiet.
Caitlyn finds herself at a loss for words, unable to compile what she feels for Vi into speech. She knows how grief feels. She's more than aware of how it crushes and consumes you. When her mother died, she didn't know what she was going to do. How she was going to cope when someone so important to her was gone.
She can relate to Vi to some extent but to lose someone you loved with your entire heart, soul and mind...
Caitlyn very slowly makes her way over to Vi and sits beside her. Then she places a careful hand on her shoulder and says, "I'll never be able to fully grasp how you're feeling, and I won't pretend to even try. But...think of her and ask yourself if this is how she'd want you to waste your days."
Vi thinks about it, lets Caitlyn's words dance around in her head before you appear in her mind's eye.
"I'd be real pissed if you just laying about doing nothing," you say, frowning with your arms crossed. "I mean, I'm glad you love me enough to wallow so hard but fuck, Vi."
Vi laughs wetly, tears already forming in her eyes as she stares at you, wistful.
"Shut up," she mumbles before her chest is shuddering with heavy breaths, a thick sob leaving her throat. "I just...I just miss you so much. You weren't, fuck, you weren't supposed to leave."
Your frown turns into a sad smile, and you look away, as if trying to hide your own tears.
"I know, honey, I know," you reply, words thick on your tongue. "And I'm so sorry for leaving you, you know that, right?"
Vi nods, wiping away still falling tears.
"But I don't want you to live this way, sweetheart," you tell her. "Fighting every day and getting shitfaced. I thought we were past this after your pitfigher phase."
That pulls a genuine laugh from Vi, with a snort and all, as she cackles. That has you laughing too, your grin wide and toothy, and God, you're so beautiful.
Even in death.
"I'm losing my mind, aren't I?" Vi says as she looks up at you, and you move your head to the left and right before shrugging.
"Maybe a little bit, but that's fine," you reply before leaning in close, and Vi sighs desperately as your foreheads touch. "But you've never been truly sane."
Vi reaches for you and swears she can feel the warmth of your skin beneath her fingertips.
"I love you," Vi rasps, eyes closed tight as she holds you close.
"I love you too," you mumur, and Vi feels your hands smooth over her cheeks. "So do me a favour and try and be happy, okay? Go outside and do something that isn't reckless drinking and violence. And take a damn shower, you're gross."
Vi snorts, smiling. "No promises."
"Idiot." Your voice is loving and fond as it slowly disappears in an echo.
"...Vi?" Caitlyn's voice replaces yours and it's here that Vi smiles, albeit sad but a little bit happier.
"Yeah, this isn't how she'd want me to waste my days," Vi replies before slapping her knees and standing up from the bed. "I'm gonna take a shower and...maybe we can do something?"
Caitlyn stares at her for a second before smiling.
"Yeah, of course we can."
That's my girl, Vi hears in your voice as she goes to the bathroom, and that gives her the extra push she needs.
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THIS IS KILLING ME.
I picked up tbhk in 2021 thinking it was a silly monster of the week style supernatural comedy. Oh my god, how AidaIro has tricked me. I should have turned back before I got too invested, but tbhk is a part of me now, I think I’d die without it.
IVE BEEN SOBBING FOR THE PAST TEN MINUTES AT MIDNIGHT OVER CHAPTER 120!
Spoiler warning for chapter 120 (read it if you haven’t already and suffer with me):
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6c721f81b16dc6ae2546a3f2e097c7d6/3826a3e1b45f6e5f-d7/s540x810/e810f6e5b6bc5a1a63db7d2696275c8f65eb691a.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e97ada1e72c27bfc16a338b740dceef4/3826a3e1b45f6e5f-f7/s540x810/fdf1bab8aad1c504a9e7994d83f0beb19189afda.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/461900cfbcc97cc1e2d8ae04391c3b18/3826a3e1b45f6e5f-65/s540x810/f2c58cd080a9002789deb56ff4ec8fc030a0f685.jpg)
After chapter 119, this world’s Kou and Mitsuba were basically killed in the red house, once again proving that those two can literally never be happy. When Kou said he’d die for Mitsuba in that one chapter, I don’t think this is what he meant.
But when he says he can’t help them go back, I can’t figure out if he’s talking about Mitsuba or the fact that he’s stuck in the red house. Probably both, as he says something later which implies he’s talking about Mitsuba.
Mostly the red house though, as shown in these panels. Which hit me really hard for some reason.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/56ced8714e17a5d0199ce97687d4c5a2/3826a3e1b45f6e5f-6a/s540x810/3a9661fa3f9a67a151f8a7b27f1c73a07067a216.jpg)
I started sobbing when I saw these panels though,
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/92385c8a2a341a4a2978abcb0e1bfd9a/3826a3e1b45f6e5f-41/s540x810/227a0c1d485b9927367e7b05ac8c70fa90df454b.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fdf22f240fe087584218d85c3b4faa4c/3826a3e1b45f6e5f-d8/s540x810/85ad04a4be6fde8881cde3ae983b6f6f227d99d0.jpg)
Just look at his face, there’s something about the shading and detail in his face which captivates you. Watching the one character who is so fixated on trying to have everyone live die was so heart wrenching.
The parallel between this panel and chapter 118 is killing me. In that chapter, Mitsuba and Kou talk about their bad dreams, ones of the old world where Mitsuba is dead. They don’t want to accept that any of those dreams could be real, promising to each other to live their lives to the fullest, only accepting the dreams as real if they failed to forget.
In this chapter, Mitsuba and Kou were never able to live a life where they could ignore those dreams, almost immediately getting killed. So to Kou, he now had to accept those dreams, with their new reality becoming the bad dream he tells Nene to forget.
This panel also killed me.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/54bd23ce829af294ae170208142c1ad6/3826a3e1b45f6e5f-e4/s540x810/1c553d7bea6d1582dbc3b2b3baa1cec52315f725.jpg)
He’s clearly talking about Mitsuba, who else could he be talking about. Again showing just how much he means to him. Again, it reminds me of the chapter where Kou talks about dying for Mitsuba, showing that he’ll always be there for him, even in death.
I also want to just talk about poor Nene, look at this panel:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3f7c7c1f81e7b6c00648f87c8aa0b65d/3826a3e1b45f6e5f-59/s540x810/1598376c050b1c8149b1fc6ec49e44ba230aa516.jpg)
This is the second time that one of her only living friends has had some connection with death, but this is the first time one has straight up disappeared before her eyes. This whole ark has Nene being tormented by death and loss and I hate it.
I wanna touch on Teru quickly. I’ve never loved characters with his type of personality before, but I think this ark has completely changed my mind about him. First, there was that face he made talking about his mother being alive, and then him being forced to exorcise his own brother. Which must have been devastating to Teru, considering that his whole motive is to protect his family, the two he has left. I think this is some of the most emotional we’ve seen in Teru. And I’m crying again
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/349fb862dfd293d9318dc6a08b053573/3826a3e1b45f6e5f-a3/s540x810/de685aea126f01b66c32fc943158700abdf3892a.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/61414f819e0e18edd81dec6beb47a629/3826a3e1b45f6e5f-af/s540x810/8715ab9bb50ac0e2cfcc7dc5bfcca44bb394e6b3.jpg)
I spent like 30 minutes at midnight typing this out because once again AidaIro has delivered a heartbreaking chapter, and I need to talk about it.
Oh my god, I was so busy crying yesterday I didn’t realize his and Mitsuba’s corpses were in the well.
#tbhk manga#tbhk spoilers#tbhk chapter 120#mitsuba sousuke#jshk#jshk spoilers#tbhk mitsuba#tbhk kou#kou minamoto#minamoto kou#yashiro nene#nene yashiro#teru minamoto#minamoto teru#yugi amane#amane yugi#mitsukou#hananene#akane aoi#aoi akane#rant post#tbhk
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I CHOOSE YOU AND ME, RELIGIOUSLY
osamu dazai x reader
thoughts about how dazai would treat you
same premise as the chuuya + atsushi ver
inspired by guilty as sin
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3b1ba86507cbe966fdbdb4a92e0ffed0/7b4c7735f70d9851-3b/s540x810/47bafc70c3fa54930c9b6db8443c84c8d555b1b2.jpg)
osamu dazai, who doesn’t really know how to love. you confuse him and challenge the equations in his head. who is a mystery to everyone, even himself. who is sure that nothing will fill his heart. who is easy to approach, but hard to love.
osamu dazai, who wonders if he’s allowed to cry. if he’s allowed to show any real emotion behind the walls and bandages he’s put up. who wonders if he- an absolute vile monster of a man- is allowed to love you. who wonders if he deserves anything more than death for what he’s done, for the demon he still thinks he is.
osamu dazai, who still tries to be a good man. who takes the words of his former friend to heart. who wonders when he’ll deserve to love. who wonders when he’s considered good enough to love you. who is usually so smart, so calculated, and so thoughtful, and who is at an embarrassing loss for words when it comes to you.
osamu dazai, who decides he’ll bet against the universe once again. who throws his life to the wolves and the ocean rocks if it means getting to hold you. who treats you like gold, whispering words into your ear he would never dare to speak to anyone else. “you’re not my first kiss, my first time, or even my first ‘i love you’ but you are the first person who made living seem possible for me.”
osamu dazai, who prefers to be alone. who knows thats what makes you different, because for the first time ever, he craves your presence. he wants you in his lap while he reads, who actively pulls you towards him when he sleeps, who kisses your knuckles before leaving for a mission, who returns to engulf you in his embrace when he steps into a home. who actually thinks of his apartment as a home when you’re in it.
osamu dazai, who everyone thinks is a womanizer, but is secretly a gentlemen. who knows chivalry like its his first language. who always opens to the door for you, slips his hand around your waist like a puzzle piece, who zips up all your clothes for you, who presses kisses underneath your ear while he’s at it, who reads you poetry, who teases you because he can’t help but love the way you turn pink, who somehow manages to keep the flowers he buys for you alive for longer, who knows everything about you, and who lets you decode his soul.
osamu dazai, who wants you to know him as well as he knows you. who tells you about his past, about his wrongdoings, about odasaku. who swears that the most human he has ever felt was when he was looking at you. who can’t fathom how you’re real. who lets you see whats under his bandages. how his heart swells when you kiss each one.
osamu dazai, who makes chuuya promise him to protect you should anything ever happen to him. who can’t stand the thought of you leaving, even though death was such a common feeling for him in his life. who tells chuuya you’re his everything, and trusts him to look after you. who can’t imagine another man ever loving you, but knows that chuuya is a man of promises, and will not let anyone touch a hair on your head once he’s gone.
osamu dazai, who thinks of you as way to die. who takes one look at you and recalls things that haven’t even happened yet. late nights, messy kisses, promises, families, embraces, heaven, sin, unraveling, scars, loving not despite but because. who’s heart is so full of you he can barely call it his own anymore.
osamu dazai, who thinks that even if its all make belief, and if he’s simply made you up, he’ll uphold his vows anyway. he’ll still come home to you with a kiss to your forehead. he’ll still always give you his jacket when you even slightly shiver. he’ll still read to you his favourite poetry, tell you his secrets and watch how you love him anyway. he thinks that even if you aren’t real, he’ll love you like his favourite storybook.
osamu dazai, who knows the world will crucify him anyway. who knows he’ll likely pay for what he’s done at some point. who knows the universe will catch up to him soon, even though he’s trying to be better. who thinks its okay if he gets what he deserves, even if its death, because he’s already seen heaven just by kissing you. who thinks that way you hold him is spiritually holy, who lets you haunt him stunningly. he vows to find you in another life, one where he can deserve you. a life where he an love you with no limits. who knows he’ll choose you, always.
#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs dazai#bsd x reader#bsd fanart#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs dazai#bungo stray dogs fanart#bungo stray dogs manga#dazai osamu#osamu x reader#osamu dazai#dazai x y/n#dazai smut#bsd headcanons#bsd atsushi#bsd akutagawa#bungou stray dogs atsushi#bungou stray dogs chuuya#bungo stray dogs#bungo sd#bsd roleplay#bsd rp#bsd fyodor#bungou sd#bungo stray dogs akutagawa#bungo stray dogs chuuya#dazai and odasaku#dazai x you
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DATE: SEPTEMBER 9, 2023
summary: you can’t stop thinking about your first orgasm, so you try to relieve yourself of the ache. when you’re left unsatisfied, you reach out to harry for some guided practice.
words: 6.6k
requested: a bunch!
warnings: SMUT (f- receiving [masturbation, dry humping (?), thigh riding/rubbing], praise kink, dirty talk), language, and two horny best friends
note: this is a new series i plan on writing (but i don’t know if i want it to have a plot or just blurbs)!! i literally have so many requests (what’s new…), but i have a lot of motivation to write this right now, plus i’ve gotten a lot of requests for it as well. i hope you guys don’t mind the delay of my other writings… x PART THREE
bestfriendrry x inexperienced!reader
—
It’s been a week since you last saw Harry.
Yeah, you’ve texted here and there. Maybe if you saw some funny video that you just had to tag him in or vice versa you would, but you haven’t actually seen him. Not physically. You think if you did, you might just die.
The second that you rose up from his bathroom floor after having your first orgasm ever (and mind you, it was mind-blowing), you stiffly cuddled up with him on the couch to watch the movie he picked out. If he seemed confused by your quietness or hardened body, he didn’t say it. Your head on his chest would vibrate every time he laughed at something funny, but it was hard for you to voice some of your own giggles out. You couldn’t focus on anything other than his body pressed against yours, so similarly yet so differently to how it was merely hours before.
From your position, you were able to feel his heart beating, organ pumping blood and keeping him alive. Stable. And that’s all you felt from him; his stableness and calmness. Your heart was thrashing around anxiously in your rising chest while he was just calm. His lively beat was as calm as the ocean waves, so relaxing that you drifted off to sleep before the movie had ended.
In a deep, much-needed slumber, Harry could feel your body loosen up. He didn’t want to say anything, but he could feel your tenseness. That was the opposite of what he wanted to happen. Orgasms were supposed to make a person relaxed and stress-free, but your body felt nothing like that. He could practically hear all your anxious gears overthinking in your little head. He wanted to pry every thought out and reassure you that whatever you’re thinking is fine and that he’s there for you. But he knew he had coaxed enough out of you when you spilled out your biggest secret to him, earning yourself your first orgasm in the process.
So, Harry never brought it up. Not through the funny parts of the movie, the romantic scenes, or even the ads. He just let the air between you guys grow incredibly thick with your silence, but pretended like he could see through the fog. He remained as nonchalant as possible–it was his forte after all. After you fell asleep, Harry let the movie ride out. He tried to pay attention the whole time instead of pondering what you might be thinking, but he didn’t do too well. If someone were to quiz him on the film, he would fail horribly.
Harry shuts the television off and cradles you up into his arms. Your head lumped onto his shoulder like dead weight before you snuggled up right into his neck. Harry had carried you many times before, and even more times while you’re asleep like that, but the way his skin was getting all warm and melty was something he’d never experienced with you. Your nose was right up against his pulse and it made him feel sensitive and vulnerable, but also so warm and alive. It was really hard for him to stay calm.
When he reached his bedroom, he gently unwrapped you from his body and laid you on his bed. He watched in awe as you immediately curled into a ball like a fetus, trying to hold on to something for comfort. After a few minutes, Harry joined you in his bed and threw your hands around him. Your subconscious didn’t hesitate to scoot closer and bathe in his body heat, snuggling into your favorite pillow; his chest.
It was really hard to stay calm.
You both woke up and went on your way for that day as if nothing happened. You had an afternoon lecture that you had to catch and Harry had to go to work. It was alright. Everything was fine. Everything was normal. Right?
But you couldn’t stop thinking about Harry.
Normally, that would never have been a problem. He’s your best friend, so of course you think about him all the time! Sometimes, you’ll see a sign or a poster on the news board when walking to class that reminds you of one of your guys’ inside jokes that you just have to send to him. If he sees something too, he’ll send it your way. You both find it fun and endearing at the same time because that’s what best friends do; so alike and attuned that they’re always on the same wavelength of thinking. It was normal. But the way you’re obsessively thinking about Harry isn’t normal. You couldn’t even convince yourself that it was and that’s saying something.
Your mind kept drifting off to the way everything played out last week. Even when you were in class on Friday afternoon (one week later) you just couldn’t help thinking of the cold bathroom floor and the fiery body pressed against you. It was so contrasting–it was so wrong. The angel and the devil on your shoulders were bickering more than ever, and you didn’t have a clue whose side you were on.
Harry’s assertive voice echoed in your head, almost as if you were trying to remember it. You had never heard him talk the way he was talking to you last Thursday. It was deep, sultry, and demanding—something you never would have known you liked. You’re not even sure if you actually liked that or if you just liked when Harry did it. Well, you don’t really have anything to base your sexual likings on yet…
When his hands delicately touched and teased you, down your stomach, down your thighs, you felt it. You felt it for days after. His touch lingered like a ghost on your skin, etching a tattoo of himself on you forever. It was blinding and fogging your vision so much, you couldn’t even focus in class. The second that your Friday class was over, you shot straight home. You didn’t look at your phone as you hurriedly discarded your shoes and jacket and stumbled into your bedroom.
You plopped yourself on your mattress with a familiar goal in mind that you were never able to achieve before; you were going to masturbate. Now that you could do it, you were going to relieve yourself of this… stress.
It only took a few seconds before your clothes were completely off and your head was planted against the headboard. You widened your legs and watched your lips slowly pry themselves open with the stretch. You swallowed, small anxiety bubbling in your throat. But you knew what you were doing now. You knew how to do it right because Harry showed you.
Oh fuck. You should not be thinking about Harry right now.
A small amount of wetness coated your labia. It was inevitable–the second his name popped into your head, your mind began to not only recall but wander. You remembered his gravelly voice in your ear, guiding you, showing you, teasing you, praising you. You remembered the ghost of his touch that you attempted to replicate with your own, but it wasn’t the same. And of course, you remembered his bulge that was harshly pressing into your lower back, pleading to be helped. You remembered everything a little too vividly, but it made you so wet thinking about it, and it made it so easy to rub the little button that Harry showed you.
Your clit was puffy, swollen, and needy just like you. Your middle finger circled over it with desperation, snatching some of your wetness to make it sloppier. Your breath started to become unsteady as your eyes trained on your pussy, now soaking with your arousal.
This is when your mind begins to wander. You start imagining things that you haven’t done with Harry yet, but were so intrigued by. You imagined getting on your knees for him and taking him in your mouth, so you could finally relieve his bulky ache. He would encourage you, caress you, and call you a “good girl” in his thick, leather-like voice. The thought of satisfying him until he’s groaning above you has you spreading your legs wider and spinning your finger around your clit faster.
Just like Harry did, you snake your hand up to one of your peaked nipples. You found it was difficult to rub yourself while also tweaking your pebbled buds. It was definitely something you needed to gain muscle memory on, especially if you planned on doing this when you got stressed. Which was often.
You didn’t know how often you would get wet though. You hoped it wasn’t too frequently because like right now, you weren’t completely fulfilled. If you had to do this every other day, you would probably be even more upset if you weren’t satisfied each time. You felt that chase-like desire bubbling up inside of you, like with Harry, but it wasn’t nearly as blissful. Maybe the first one is always better than the rest and with each one you’ll just be a little more disappointed as time goes on. But as a shrieked moan leaves your mouth when you orgasm, a small voice in the back of your head is telling you the real reason you’re not satisfied.
Harry isn’t here.
—
On Saturday morning, after sleeping like shit under your shoe, you asked Harry if you could come over. Usually, you would have more self-control, but there was something about an orgasm that strangled and stole any self-preservation you had.
When you woke up, you went straight to the bathroom just to find out you were wet. Again. The word really? spilled from your lips before you could stop it. You assumed that you had some type of dirty dream, and you wouldn’t be surprised if it was about Harry. But you’re glad you didn’t remember it. You were hurriedly wiping up your mess and tossing your shorts in your laundry bin. In some type of rush, you took a speedy shower like it was a competition.
Then you stared at your phone, wondering if you should do it. Should you text Harry? You’ve never thought about it this much ever, but one message could mean everything if he looked at it right. What if he thought you were obsessed with him?
No, don’t think that.
Texting your best friend is normal. Asking your best friend for sexual help was normal too. Right…?
Y/N: hey, what are you doing today?
You felt a little nervous. Not because you were texting Harry but because of what your intentions were. What if he felt like you were just using him? Your heart spiked when you saw the three small bubbles.
Harry: I just got off work
Harry: Want to come over?
He knew you too well.
—
The second he texted you he was home, you went towards his place. With every red light you hit, you bubbled with anticipation, drumming your fingertips on the steering wheel. Your anxiousness turned into a ball of excitement when you were actually in front of his door.
He opened it with a charming smile, one that you recognized all too well. You welcomed yourself inside and tried to seem as normal as possible. But you couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Your mind kept wandering back to that feeling in your lower stomach.
“So… how was work?” You asked, creating some small talk as you plopped yourself on his couch. The very couch where everything started.
That was not helping.
Harry gave you a look, one with squinted eyes and a half chuckle. “Fine? What’s up?”
“What’s down?” You cringed as the words came out, your nervousness shining through.
“Why are you acting so weird? Are you okay, Doll?” Your stomach simmered at the nickname, differently than ever before. You had a feeling that name was never going to be the same for you again. You sighed, squeezing your legs together as Harry dropped himself next to you. His close proximity was nearly killing you. Not only did he radiate warmth but he smelt good—like he just showered in a tropical forest.
What is wrong with him?
“I’m not fine,” You admitted as your head fell in your hands. Harry grew concerned with scrunched eyebrows, throwing an arm around the back of the couch and waited for you to continue. When you didn’t, he asked.
“Well, d’you want to tell me what’s wrong or just sit ‘ere and complain? C’mon, Doll.”
You groaned, crossing your legs. The throbbing between them was so prominent, it was like a second heartbeat. Your hands balled into fists on your side, nails digging into your palms. Harry watched all your movements that you tried to withstrain.
“You can’t call me that anymore.”
“Woah, what?” Harry’s eyebrows jumped, extremely puzzled and surprised by your attitude. You’ve never had a problem with the name for the years he’s been saying it, so what changed?
“It’s—it’s killing me, H! Everything you’re doing is… just killing me and I don’t know why. I think I might explode. Is this what dying feels like?” You admitted, throwing your hands over your eyes again as a way to hide in embarrassment. Harry feels himself relax a bit, he even chuckles in the air you thought was thick with tension. When you hear his laugh, you look at him like he’s crazy. “This isn’t funny!”
“Oh but it is.” It was evident that Harry knew you weren’t actually upset with him. You were just innocently turned on so much that you were frustrated. And Harry so happened to be the only one to know your little secret. So why wouldn’t you come to him?
“No, you ruined me. Am I going to be… like this forever?”
“What, you mean horny? Probably.”
“Ugh, I hate you.”
“Then why are you here?” he smirks, patiently waiting for you to confess. You huffed under your breath while your eyes stared at your legs, thighs squeezing together at his cockiness. You were so annoyed at his control, but your body for some reason got off on it. You needed whatever he had because clearly only he could give it to you. “Look at me.”
You craned your neck up faster than you would have liked to admit, glaring at his darkening green eyes. A heat swirled not only in the pits of your stomach but in the air around you both, suffocating you with its tension. After gazing at your appearance for longer than necessary, his smirk deepens, which you didn’t even know was possible.
“I have a feeling…” he starts as his hand slowly creeps towards your neck from the back of the couch. “That you’re unsatisfied.”
“Yes,” You grumbled.
“Did you try to relieve your ache? Or did you just let it build up? Either way, you found yourself here.”
Your skin ran hot. Fiery hot. His hand brushed over your neck and he could definitely feel the scorching flames of your skin. Your heart was racing trying to keep up with your body’s excitement, making your eyes blown out and wide.
“I… tried to relieve it.”
“Did you do it the way I taught you?”
“…yes.”
“Did you feel satisfied?” You took a pause before responding, but Harry knew the answer.
“No,” You were honest, just like before. A part of you felt ashamed again, too. Maybe you didn’t do it right and you were just a lost cause. Instead of looking sad at your predicament like last time, Harry smirked. That fucking smirk. It meant he knew something you didn’t and that frustrated you more.
“So I was right. You just need a little help s’all,” his thick hand gently squeezed your neck, causing you to hum and close your eyes. He loved how responsive and sensitive you were, it lit a fire in him. “So how’d you do it, hm?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, walk me through it. What made you want to masturbate in the first place?”
Your eyes shot open and looked as far away from him as possible. Your body clearly stiffened and got anxious from the question. You felt your hips squirm in their tight position on the couch, begging to move. Your little button was throbbing, so much it was becoming painful.
“Don’t lie. I can’t help you then,” Harry was being taunting and condescending. A tingle sparked within you, urging you to be truthful. You hoped he would help you like before because like you said, it was getting painful and you were getting desperate.
“I-I kept thinking about last week.”
“What part?”
“Um, the whole thing,” You bit your lip, twiddling your fingers.
“Be specific.”
“Harry…” You practically whined, covering your face for the third time in embarrassment. “Can you just… make it go away please? It obviously didn’t work when I did it.”
“‘Course I will, just walk me through what happened first.”
“Fine,” You took a deep breath and put your head up. You positioned your body to face him, trying to speak with confidence. “I got distracted in class and was thinking about…you know…and then I went home. I was so stressed that I just decided to do it, but I couldn’t do it unless…”
“Unless what, Doll?”
That fucking name.
You don’t know if it was from his deep voice. Or from his demanding tone. Or his hand squeezing at the pulse point of your neck, but you whimpered. The smallest and most delicate sound that couldn’t have even been recognized by a high-definition microphone. But Harry heard it, and it made him go absolutely berserk.
“Unless I thought of you.”
“Fuck, Y/N. I’ve corrupted you, huh?” he squeezes your neck again reassuringly as you mewl in his grasp, a little less ashamed than before. “Well, you came all this way…”
“Please, Harry,” You delicately begged, trying not to sound as desperate as you were. Because, fuck, were you desperate. With every simple, warm caress of his hand on your neck you thought you were going to suffocate from holding your breath.
“Take off your shorts.” It was an easy command to follow. Harry’s assertive tone sent chills down your spine and a fiery tingle in the pit of your stomach. The same type of tingle you felt whenever you thought about the bathroom incident. But you were never able to dull the flame alone.
Maybe you weren’t supposed to.
Without another word, Harry’s hand snakes down to your waist joined by his other one as he lifts you up and onto his lap. Your lungs deflate, releasing a shaky breath full of your anticipation. Your legs were on either side of his, spreading you open just enough to feel yourself leak into your panties. Resting your hands on his shoulders, you wait for him to tell you what to do.
“Show me what y’got,” his reassuring hand slips from your waist and rests on the arm of the couch. Your expression falls in disappointment.
“What? I thought you were helping me!”
“This is helping you. I have to see what y’did wrong so I can help you fix it. There’s a method to my madness, love.”
“Yeah, yeah,” You rolled your eyes. He’s said that line growing up too many times to count. You used to tell him to shut up every time, but now you’re just immune to his cheekiness. The context was very different now, and that line may never be the same.
“Hey, don’t roll your eyes at me. Do y’want my help or not?”
“Okay, okay!” You assured, your cunt still throbbing against the cotton of your underwear. You swallowed once the playfulness died down, silence surrounding you both. The only thing left was for you to start, which you found extremely embarrassing. “So I just…”
“Do exactly what you did. Walk me through it.”
You took a deep breath before discarding your shirt. You tried not to think about how Harry was looking directly at your body now without the reflection of a mirror. He didn’t hide the way his gaze lingered on specific parts, almost as if he was memorizing each little detail. If you weren’t so hyper focused on remembering what you did and what he told you, you would find it somewhat endearing (and embarrassing).
With trembling hands, you threw off your shirt to tweak at your peaked nipples, just like you had done yesterday. They felt raw and sore between your fingertips. With each twist came a small aftershock of pain, but you only continued to roll the bud. You kind of liked how it hurt a little…
While one hand focused on your breasts, the other began to slide down between your legs. After passing your torso, your fingers slipped underneath the band of your underwear. The pads make contact with your aching clit, just like before, but it was different. When you did it alone, it felt stressful and rushed. But right now, it feels more electrifying and dizzying than before.
Maybe it was because Harry was here and that he was watching you like a hawk. His mere presence was alluring and intensified every touch. His eyes were trained on your every movement, analyzing and critiquing you with those thorn-like pupils. You wanted to know what he was thinking, but you were starting to get too caught up in your own pleasure to care.
“Oh, f-fuck,” You sighed and rocked your hips subconsciously over Harry’s thighs. He sharply inhales, but you don’t register the sound because you’re too busy making your own. You didn’t notice Harry’s growing bulge, merely a few inches away from your dripping cunt.
Your eyelids start to tighten, screwing shut as your thighs quiver. That familiar rush was approaching you fast, and just when you thought it couldn’t come any faster, Harry finally does something. He speaks.
“Almost there already? You are desperate, aren’t you, Doll?” Harry’s tone could pass as pitiful or even taunting as his hand creeps towards your pivoting waist. But the raspy deepness of it is what sends you over the edge. Your fingers squeeze your nipple while your fingers circle your pulsating clit. All of your movements stop as your body overloads, coming down from the much-needed orgasm. Your hand slaps onto his broad shoulder for support as you quietly chant his name with a squirm of your hips. “All the way. There y’go, angel.”
With some labored breathing, you finally peel your eyes open to a smirking Harry. Your skin flushed in sudden embarrassment, realizing your position. You immediately think to move off of him, especially after just coming in your panties, but his hand on your hip keeps a firm grip.
“We’re not done yet. You haven’t even heard my thoughts.”
“…What are your thoughts?” You were a little intimated, which is something you never thought you’d be by your best friend.
You had some thoughts and feelings of your own. Yes, this orgasm was better than the one you did alone. But it was nowhere near as satisfying as the one Harry did for you. Why was that? It internally frustrated you that Harry was so good at what he did, but a small—smidge little speck—of you was proud that your best friend was good in bed. Well, you don’t know about all aspects, but you could assume.
You should not be thinking about that!
And maybe another tiny part of you was glad to be one of the people experiencing his euphoria.
“I thought it was pretty good. Pretty good for your what? Third time? Well, second by yourself. Could use some work,” Harry tried to be as nonchalant as possible. His cock was raging in his shorts, just begging to be let out for some relief. He’s not going to lie and say he hasn’t thought about his best friend in a sexual way since their sexual intercounter because he totally has.
What he hasn’t done is jerk off to you. He refuses to stoop that low because in a way, that made him feel dirty, like he was using you somehow. When he came home from work the day after everything, he had to call up one of the numbers in his phone to help settle his little problem. Okay, yes, that might seem hypocritical, but he doesn’t care about jerking off to random people or using his friendly benefits to get off quickly. That’s exactly what they were for. You, on the other hand, were not for that purpose. You are his best friend who just needs a little… guidance in the sexual field. And luckily, Harry has a lot of experience that he is (for some reason) very willing to share.
You were just about to roll your eyes when Harry’s grip tightened even more as a warning. He just knew you too well.
“I want to try something. Willin’ to try something new?” You felt the pacing of your already quick heart accelerate. Your eyes were wide and full of wonder, innocence draped over you like a bedsheet.
“Yeah. That’s the point of this, right?” Your voice sounded a little hesitant, similar to the way Harry blinked. You swallowed your anxiousness down as Harry nodded.
His hands guide your hips over onto his lap. You instantly get flashbacks from last week, his warm hands stilling your hips and rubbing gentle circles on your burning skin. But this time, he adjusts you so you’re sitting on one of his thighs. Your panties were directly on his athletic shorts and it was comfortable, but you had an urge to be closer. You needed skin to skin contact.
Was that too much? Too far?
“Actually,” As if he could read your mind, “I’m going to pull these up, okay?”
With a nod, he tugs his shorts up, revealing his large tiger tattoo. You nearly forgot he had it. As your eyes fixate on the impressive ink, you find yourself becoming a little dizzy with lust. Not only was the tattoo cool but the placement almost had you fainting. You watched his thigh muscles contract when he shifted his hips, the tiger pulsing and looking like a great seat.
Harry was going to—no did—ruin you…
Next, he pulled you forward, nearly causing you to collapse on him. Now, your covered center is directly on his bare thigh, lightly pressing against his thickness.
“Y’real warm, Doll,” Harry observes, hands subconsciously slotting their way onto that soft spot of your hips. You felt as though they belonged there now. Your skin blushed, heat bubbling inside of you at his comment. You couldn’t help but feel shy with his eyes gazing at your every move. Legs wanting to close, you force yourself to keep them open around his waist. Just like he taught you.
“What do I do now?” You didn't really know what to do with your hands and it was evident. Harry saw this, however, and threw your lonesome hands over his shoulders. His action caused you to lean closer towards him, faces merely a few inches apart. You swallowed, but your throat was dry, and your heart was running a mile in record time. You could feel every breath fall onto your face because you were in such close proximity. You wanted to kiss him badly. It was strange because you’ve never felt such a pull towards him.
“I want you to use me.”
“What?” You blinked.
“Use me. Move your hips on m’thigh until it feels really good.”
“I…I don’t know how,” You admitted, fingers trembling within each other behind his neck. A soft, reassuring smile rests upon his lips, and before he even said anything, you already felt a little better.
“Just move first and I’ll help you as you go. Do you remember what to say if you want to stop?” he asked with gentleness as his hand curled on your hip, kneading it with care. You nodded, but that wasn’t enough. He pinned you with a knowing look.
“Stop is red, yellow is slow down, and green is good.”
“You remembered. Good girl,” The two simple words made you flutter inside and out. But they also motivated you to strive and really be a good girl for him.
You released your interlocked fingers from behind his neck and bared his shoulders. You took a deep, quivering breath before beginning to move over his thigh. It was an awkward motion; circling your panties along his naked thigh while he just took it. At first, it didn’t feel all too pleasurable. The idea of it all seemed great, but you just couldn’t get into it. A small part of you was saddened because Harry had seemed excited.
Had you let him down?
But just before you stopped to complain and whine about it, Harry’s grip on your hip tightened and pulled you forward. Your heart jumped at the action, feeling immense intensity in the proximity. With the slight lean forward, your clit was pressing directly on his thigh creating a perfect friction from your cotton panties.
“O-Oh,” You breathily moaned, finally feeling that strike of pleasure you’ve been waiting for. As your eyes begin to close, Harry never seems to remove his from you, analyzing every speck of your body like you’ll perish any second. His hand remains rigid and still on your hip, forcing you forward so your clit is constantly stimulated.
“Yeah? That feel better?” he asks in that familiar, deep husk that rumbles through your body.
“Yes, H,” Your head leaned on his shoulder, thighs beginning to burn with fatigue. It’s barely been a few minutes yet you were already feeling your leg muscles giving out.
“C’mon, Doll. Don’t give up now.”
“I’m trying,” You whined, picking your head up and pouting at him with a small pant. He stares at your puckered lip and dares to kiss it. Would it be crossing a boundary? All he wants to do is suck on all your words until you have none left and leave a few marks in the process. Is that so hard to want?
“Try harder.”
Harry thrusts his thigh up into you, causing you to gasp in bliss. It was an overwhelming and shocking feeling; a single, hefty dose of pressure right into your clit and cunt. Harry could feel your prominent heat burning through your underwear and searing through his skin. He wanted to rid you of your clothes and ravage you, but you weren’t there yet. He doesn’t know if you’ll ever get there with him, but recently, he’s been dying to get there. The thought has never even wandered his mind before, but now that it is, he can’t seem to get it out. It’s as if you’re trapped in his mind and sex is the only key.
That sounds a lot worse than he thought.
“Oh my God,” Your whimpers flow straight into his ears, playing mind games with him. His cock has been puffing up in his shorts, but he’s not even trying to hide it anymore. There’s no way you’re oblivious to the things you do to him—at least physically.
Harry continues to ram his thigh up, encouraging you to move around. When he feels your body seriously about to give up, he holds you still and forces you to stop.
“Color?”
“Green, but I’m tired.”
“Do y’want to stop?”
“No, Harry, please, just—I really need you to do something. Anything. I’m close,” Your desperate pleads are impossible to reject. With your doe eyes and pouty lip, he doesn’t even hesitate to make all your pain go away.
“Need it that bad?”
“Yes.”
“Alright, Doll. Just stay still,” You obey him with a grateful nod as his thigh begins to rock up into you again. It was so much more euphoric this way—having him move while you just feel. Maybe it was a little selfish, but wasn’t that one of the perks of him teaching you? You just got to feel and learn your body.
You hadn’t thought about that part a lot. This entire ordeal was you learning more about yourself. For years you have deprived yourself and avoided all sexual activity for no other reason than fear. Fear of judgment, fear of awkwardness, fear of trust, fear of vulnerability—sex was a huge thing for you. Now, you’re doing things you never could have imagined yourself doing, and you’re doing them with the last person you’d expect; your best friend. But in the strangest and most bizarre way, you couldn’t see your firsts being held by anyone other than Harry. Would you tell him that? Probably not. That might be taken a different way than you mean, and then drama would ensue and that’s not at all what you want.
But what did you mean by it?
“Are y’close? I can feel you clenching on me,” his voice rasps near your ear, sending a shudder throughout your body. You hum a high-pitched sound, seemingly pleasing him. “‘About to come in y’panties? Never thought you’d do that, huh?”
“Mhm,” You hummed again, this time biting your lip as your stomach churned in pleasure. “Touch me, God, please.”
“Are you saying I’m God? ‘Cause that is a great compliment—”
“You’re such an—” he places his lips on your neck, suckling on the spongy part under your ear. You shiver, shutting up immediately. Every word and thought has left you completely, fizzling into the nonexistent. You don’t know if he put his lips on your neck like this last time, but it made you putty on top of him. “Why does that f-feel so good? Please, Harry, I’m right there.”
“‘Cause I’m doing it. Little baby just needed help s’all. That’s right, huh? Say it. Say you needed my help, baby.” Why his words make you feel the way you feel will forever be an unsolved phenomenon to you. There’s a juxtaposition between pain and pleasure and degradation and praise. When he puts you down, he makes sure to pick you right up again, and it might seem toxic, but it was just Harry, and you knew deep down it was all an act. And you liked that.
“I-I needed you, Harry,” A whine fell from your lips, tearing through your throat.
You liked that none of it was deeply serious and you could be what you wanted without the fear of judgment, fear of awkwardness, fear of trust, fear of vulnerability—everything you needed for comfort was there. It was here with Harry. It might all be some type of act, but it felt real. Realer than any other relationship you’ve had.
“C’mon me, Doll.”
You felt his warm hand travel from one hip to your torso. Just the mere feeling of his presence getting lower towards your center sent you over the edge. It was quite embarrassing how his simple touch was all you needed to be folded and whipped, but you couldn’t help it. You were so sensitive as a beginner and, on top of it all, so needy and greedy for it. Harry adored that though.
Your orgasm soaked through your cotton panties, while some of the residue landed on Harry’s thigh. An ever-growing smirk was plastered on his face as your heated face finally reentered reality. You quietly gasped when your awareness finally slipped through the orgasmic fog, realizing the mess you made.
“Look at tha’, Doll. Was that better for you? More satisfying?”
“Yes. Thank you, Harry,” You answered wearily, suddenly being slapped with post-orgasm fatigue. The lingering burn in your muscles told you that you were going to be sore tomorrow, but you were too blissed-out to care.
“Don’t be so formal. S’weird,” You rolled your eyes at him. Again, he’s great at ruining a sweet moment. Sexual Harry versus friend Harry were two different people, but you appreciated both. It was just the sharp switches he makes between transitions that makes your head spin with confusion. Harry, your friend, was loud and cocky with a mixture of kindness. Harry, your sexual teacher, was demanding and precise with a mixture of softness. Both comforted you in a way that you hoped you would find in a partner one day; he was the perfect example.
Recognizing him this way really put things in perspective for you–Harry really was teaching what you wanted. And like he said before, maybe you didn’t need to worry about a husband right now. You should be focusing on what you want and that might take some experimenting. Training with Harry was preparing you for that experiment phase. That’s exactly it.
When you take a breath, you’re reminded of how compressed you are to him. You’re comfortable and cozy when you’re this close, and it just felt right. You don’t remember if you’ve always felt like this, but it would make sense if you have. He’s your best friend, of course.
But of course, the moment ends way too soon, and Harry is lifting you off of his lap. He places you beside him on the couch before standing up.
“I’ll go start you a bath and get you some clothes,” Harry leaves for the bathroom, the opposite of last time. Based on the last two times, to you it seems like he leaves too quickly. You never get to fully absorb the aftermath and internalize its meaning. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe Harry knows that if he allowed you the time, you would overthink until you self-destructed and eventually never speak to him again.
You don’t think you could ever do that.
So, like anything you’ve ever done, you’re left alone to analyze the situation. You were aided when you were desperate and Harry was able to mend that ache. But what did that do for him? What was Harry getting out of this arrangement? Was it even an arrangement or just best friends who occasionally do sexual things? Was he doing all of this for you just because he wanted to show you the ropes?
You’re still well-aware of your lack of reciprocation. Out of the two times he’s helped you out, you haven’t been returning the favor. There is this unspoken understanding that everything is about you and that Harry wouldn’t involve himself because what would that teach you? Without him saying anything, you know that Harry doesn’t want you to think that he’s using you for his own pleasure. But at this point in your friendship, you know he wouldn’t do such a thing. Besides, if he needed to have sex that critically, he could just call someone, right? It’s easy to “get some” when you’ve already had it.
Your point being, why haven’t you offered to return the favor? If you did, maybe Harry could give you some pointers and tell you what to do, just like all of the other times. Not only would you know what feels right and pleasurable, but you’d know how to make your partner feel just as positive. Plus, he would be getting pleasure out of it, too. That sounds like a win-win in your book, and probably in Harry’s. But would that be crossing the unspoken boundaries of your friendship? You’ve already traversed through enough together, but how far was too far? Was he basing the limits off of you?
If so, he won’t mind one more session, right?
—
thank you all so much for being patient with me 🩷 i hope this suffices you! part 3
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