#things that don't abide by rules can be freaking terrifying

[ladysternchen]

All of Arda is autistic- Mairon

His whole being convulsed with the laughter of the others, the noise going through and through, hurting his hearing, boring into him like a chisel, the narrow kind he used for delicate work. “There, my brethren, we have a… what shall we call it?”  Aulë’s voice was full of that hateful laughter as he held up something Mairon did not even want to try and name. In his opinion, mistakes were things to be hidden, not ever talked about, lest of all shown to others. He hated mistakes. Bad enough that Yavanna with her stupid plants and animals filled all Arda with things that were by nature imperfect, prone to mistakes, that grew and developed all over the place, following no rule. He hated it. And he hated it even more here in the smithy, the only place where Mairon had, until now, been safe from those nuisances, where he could control the substance of Arda, make it perfect. Also, the fact that it had been Aulë himself who had made this mistake made Mairon deeply uneasy, embarrassed. The Master was never supposed to make mistakes, if he was fallible, so were they all. And all the other Maiar were actually laughing…

All of a sudden, Mairon felt as if he were suffocating, and he left the others in a haste, trying to calm himself, to fight down the panic that started to well up in him. It had happened. The imperfect had entered their domain. Now all would fall apart… and then, suddenly, he heard a voice in his head. “You seem scared, little Maia? What happened to you?” “My Lord Melkor…” he said, uncertain what he should do, whether he should bow to him or not. He knew the Valar called Melkor dangerous, but then, weren’t they themselves? Had they not just proven that they would allow all their hard work come to nothing because they were just too lax? And before he knew it, he poured his heart out to the Vala, feeling already more at home with him than he had ever felt with Aulë, a feeling that deepened with every compassionate word of understanding Melkor uttered.

(note here: this is NOT supposed to be an excuse for Sauron’s later deeds, nor a POV that makes him the victim. Autism doesn’t make you an arsehole any more than it saves you from being one, but it does make you more susceptible to certain lures, especially if those lures promise safety)

[dufferpuffer]

I'm gonna do a big disagree: It WAS a nice, non-judgemental, diplomatic moment for Dumbledore. He was extraordinary with Tom.

I really don't see the argument that he treated Tom poorly at all. I'd guess that's part of why it doesn't sit right with you: 'Albus terrified and traumatized Tom' isn't how it went down at all. (about 800 words, not much)

Albus is warned by Muggles about Tom Riddle. (Note how willing Albus is to manipulate them into getting what he wants.) How scary Tom is, how cruel, how nobody likes him. He goes in suspecting an independent boy who is capable of some impressive feats of accidental magic.

He meets Tom - and greets him with a handshake. How many adults have greeted Tom with a handshake? With a smile and gentle language? Tom freaks out. He jumps up on his bed and starts shouting, talking over Albus, commanding him, yelling accusations, spitting threats...

Albus keeps a calm tone, speaks clearly and concisely. He doesn't speak over Tom - he listens to him and comforts his concerns even as Tom yells them over top of his explanations. He repeats things when needed and never raises his voice. He uses language like 'If you would like' - giving Tom control. He never uses any of the manipulative magic tricks he used on the Muggles - he always tells Tom the plain truth and is an open book.

Pretty much the ENTIRE conversation Albus allows Tom to take the lead. To ask questions. To steamroll him and talk over him, even mid-sentence. Tom is incredibly rude, few adults would let an 11yr old boy speak to them this way even without getting mean.

Albus? He is willing to sit in silence, allowing Tom to process what he is being told, to calm down, to think of questions in his own time. He is willing to follow Tom's rude commands without comment. He is willing to bend the rules just to bring Tom some comfort.

People say the fact Dumbledore set his wardrobe on fire was terrifying - but Tom LOVED it! He was startled at first, but he had just rattled on about all the destructive types of magic he had done to animals and other kids - Albus made a calculated decision to WOW this boy with something that would resonate with him.

And I don't mean that in a 'Tom is evil' way - if a kid loves hitting bottles with a slingshot, maybe shooting a bottle with a gun is the easiest way to connect with them.

Riddle stared from the wardrobe to Dumbledore; then, his expression greedy, he pointed at the wand. “Where can I get one of them?”

People also say that Dumbledore made all the stolen things inside his wardrobe rattle as a way to shame him - and like... sure? But to a good end? He wasn't just rubbing his face in the carpet.

"You are not the first, nor will you be the last, to allow your magic to run away with you."

He explains that he isn't BAD for the way he has used his magic, but that it won't be tolerated at Hogwarts - nor by Wizarding Law. He will need to learn to control his magic and his impulses - and Hogwarts will help teach that. Until them, he should give back all the things he stole and tie up all these loose-ends to start anew.

"All new wizards must accept that, in entering our world, they abide by our laws."

And he FORGIVES him. A child who has only ever been told he is BAD is being forgiven for misdeeds - told he isn't the first to let his magic run away with him. And then the topic moves on. He doesn't dwell or expect apology.

Albus lets Tom interrupt him mid-sentence. He lets him snatch money from his hands. Tom says he wants to do everything himself - and Albus just... concedes. Trusts him. Allows him to live without an anxious adult breathing down his neck for once.

The conversation is ended with Tom feeling giddy with delight at the prospects of his future, at his new freedom, at his new understanding of his shunned powers - and trying to impress Albus.

I really don't see the abuse here. The trauma. It was probably one of the happiest days of Tom's life.

I think some distaste for this scene comes from Dumbledore's in-depth analysis and quite biting remarks afterwards. He says rough, judgemental things you wouldn't normally say about an 11yr old.

But this is a memory he has been soaking in for DECADES. That's what he does: drowns himself for hours, trying to analyze and nitpick every scrap he can, every line of dialogue and minute action. He is trying to find patterns in Toms behavior. But at the time he wasn't thinking that! He was simply being gentle with a strange little boy. He was worried about his violence, only to the extent of 'Hm... I should keep an eye on that.'

He has ALWAYS treated Tom like a human, not as a monster. And that's exactly what Tom can't stand - being thought of as a human. As Tom Riddle the boy, not Lord Voldemort the special.

One thing I don't get is when people make a huge deal out of Tom and Dumbledore's first meeting, as if it was uniquely traumatising for Tom or it was evidence of Dumbledore's evil or literally caused Tom to become Lord Voldemort.

Look it might be because they are both my problematic faves but it doesn't sit right with me!

Yes, this wasn't Dumbledore's nicest, least judgmental and most diplomatic moment BUT do you think Tom grew-up-in-an-orphanage-with-all-the-associated-mental-health-issues-I-go-around-London-by-myself Riddle hasn't seen or dealt with worse? It is not a big deal! I guarantee his fellow Slytherin were 100x worse to him for his questionable lineage!