#things are looking bleak gyns

[allmoidsdie]

its so over he ate her out

ok gyns… my best friend is dating a loser troon. this can go two ways (a) they get married and live a long and happy life together with kids from their heterosexual relationship (this will not happen) or (b) they break up after two months and my best friend peaks (this will most definetly happen)

[goldenempyrean]

Under The Same Roof

〚 Notes - These two cuties are my new favourite obsession for the time being so please excuse this. For some reason these fics do far better on ao3 compared to here :P anyway! enjoy ;D 〛

〚 Pairing - Maya Bishop x Carina DeLuca 〛

〚 Summary - After moving into Maya's apartment, Carina is meant to spend her day off unpacking her stuff. Instead Maya comes home to a very sleepy, sick Italian asleep on her sofa. 〛

〚 Wordcount - 2600 〛

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Thing’s had been going really well between Maya and Carina lately. The two were currently in the midst of moving in together, there was a plethora of boxes with various possessions strewn about the apartment. They’d both been so busy that unpacking had been forgotten about in favour of making the most of their newfound closeness. However today had been Carina’s day off from work, she had been planning to make the most of it – to spend the day cleaning, unpacking, organising. Doing everything, she could make this place into their home. 

But her body had clearly had other ideas. 

Carina had woken up that morning with a scratchy throat and a heavy head. She rolled over with a groan, her arms searching for the comfort of her girlfriend but the bed beside her was cold and painfully empty - the firefighter’s shift wasn’t due to finish until later tonight. 

She sniffled, pulling her fluffy pink robe around herself as she dragged herself out of bed. The fabric did little to ward off the shiver that ran over her olive skin. The Italian coughed weakly, tracing her fingers down her throat afterwards as she whined softly to herself. This really wasn’t how she had planned to spend the day... 

Shuffling through the maze of boxes that littered the floor, she headed to their bathroom. She stood over the sink, staring at her bleak reflection in the mirror, grimacing as she took a dose of the cold medicine she’d found in the cabinet. 

Carina sniffled again, reaching for a tissue as she blinked away the tears she could feel welling up at the corners of her eyes. She had been looking forward to this day, to finally settling into their new home together. But now, with her body feeling like it had been hit by a truck, the thought of unpacking boxes and cleaning all day felt almost impossible. Carina didn’t know why she felt guilty about it., it wasn’t like it was a job she’d been asked to do specifically. But still, the thought of being sick and miserable all day, unable to do that one thing she’d wanted to get done had the corners of her lips wobbling slightly. Maybe she was just overtired and feverish – that always made her easily tear up but there was something else. Something she hadn’t felt in a while – a longing. All she really wanted was to be with Maya right now. 

She longed for the warmth of Maya's embrace, the soothing touch of her hand on her forehead, and the comfort of her presence. But Maya was out there, saving lives and fighting fires, while Carina was here, feeling utterly helpless. Neither of them had been sick in their relationship yet. Infact according to the firefighter herself “she was incapable of getting ill” which the OB/GYN obviously knew was impossible but nodded along lovingly anyway. At least she could relate to it somehow, the feeling weakness was something she hated. Carina prided herself on being strong and independent, yet she was here clinging to a stupid bottle of blue liquid just to make herself feel better. 

Hold on, blue liquid? Carina’s eyes furrowed as a sinking realisation hit her. Her eyes cast down to the bottle she’d just discarded. Nyquil? She quickly swung open the cabinet to see the bottle of Dayquil sitting innocently, untouched on the shelf. Of course she had taken the wrong one...  

Well, at least that explained why she had still been feeling so drowsy. With a resigned sigh, Carina simply just grabbed the tissue box from the countertop and shuffled back over to their bed, snatching her pillow and the duvet from the unmade bed before stumbling out to their living room. She didn’t even bother opening their curtains before flopping down onto the sofa, letting the tissue box fall onto the floor beside it.  

Carina sank into the plush cushions of the sofa, her body feeling heavier with each passing moment. She buried her face into her pillow, seeking solace in its familiar scent mingled with Maya's. The apartment was quiet, save for the occasional sound of a passing car outside or the faint creak of the floorboards as their upstairs' neighbours moved about. Alone in the dimly lit room, Carina closed her eyes, allowing herself to succumb to the exhaustion that weighed heavily upon her. 

... 

Maya had, had a good day. Honestly work had been fairly uneventful – mainly calls for the aid car. She’d tried ringing Carina around lunchtime, but she’d gotten no response so had left her a voicemail instead. It was a little weird that her call had been unanswered, but she simply presumed the Italian had forgotten to charge her phone again. 

The first thing that caught her attention was the boxes still stacked up in the entranceway. She could’ve sworn she remembered Carina mentioning that she was going to unpack them on her next day off. It’s probably fine, she must’ve just gotten busy with something else, Maya thought to herself as she hung up her jacket. But the second thing she noticed was just how quiet it really was. Typically, whenever she came home Carina would be bustling around, maybe cooking something delicious or buried in a book whilst playing some music in the background. But today, there was an unusual stillness in the air.  

“Honey I’m home.” She called out playfully as she finished taking her shoes off, placing them neatly on the rack, “Carina?” 

Maya’s brows furrowed at the lack of a reply. As she moved closer to the living room, she noticed the soft glow of the evening sun filtering through the curtains. Any worry she had been feeling quickly melted away as she caught sight of familiar brown curls hanging loosely over the edge of the sofa.  

“Hey, didn’t you hear-” The firefighter began but stopped, her mouth open still as she brought her hand to her face to silence a laugh. 

Maya couldn’t avert her eyes – no matter how hard she tried. The scene in front of her was just too cute beyond belief that she couldn’t quite look away. Carina was asleep on the sofa. But she wasn’t just curled in on herself or huddled under a blanket. One of the Italian’s legs was half hanging off the edge with the fabric of her pyjama pants rolled up above her knee, meanwhile, one of her arms similarly was actually touching the floor, hanging limply by her side. Her usually perfect brunette hair was now messy and tangled as her head rested an angle which just couldn’t be comfortable. Meanwhile the clearly discarded duvet was sitting in a heap on the floor beside numerous balled up tissues. 

Honestly, she was torn between waking her up or letting her rest, by the looks of it, Carina clearly needed the sleep. The flushed pink hue sitting on her pale cheeks told her all she needed to know. Carina was sick. As quietly as she could, the firefighter crept into the kitchen, searching through her dedicated “Junk drawer” before finding what she was looking for. The thermometer.  

Pruitt, their old captain, had pestered her into getting one a few years ago after a bug had gone round the station, and it was easier for the crew to check their temps at home instead of lugging themselves to the station to use the one they kept there. Truthfully, it had never been used, which is exactly why it had ended up in the drawer to begin with. Of course, Maya would prefer it to be under any other circumstances but least she was finally getting to use it now. 

Maya tiptoed back to where Carina lay. She knelt down beside her and gently brushed a strand of hair away from Carina's forehead, revealing the slight sheen of sweat there. With a soft sigh, Maya slipped the thermometer under Carina's tongue and waited anxiously for the beep indicating it had finished its reading. 

Honestly, she was quite amazed that Italian hadn’t woken up throughout the whole ordeal, but it made a lot more sense when the device beeped quietly, and she looked down at the screen to see “102.2” displayed on its small screen. 

“Oh sweetheart.” Maya murmured softly, her hand gently cupping her girlfriend’s cheek, “You should’ve called me silly girl, look at you, I could've looked after you. Poor thing.” Her musings fell on sleeping ears, but it didn’t really matter. The blonde leant forward to press a loving kiss to Carina’s forehead before standing up, tiptoeing back to the kitchen. 

Truthfully, she wasn't the best cook. She usually opted for taking any leftovers from the station or just heating something up. It wasn’t to say she didn’t cook sometimes but it wasn’t necessarily her favourite thing. But Maya knew what she needed to do. She quietly searched through one of the brown boxes sitting on the kitchen floor, searching through Carina’s stuff before eventually finding what she had been looking for. 

Carina loved cooking. It was why Maya had remembered that one night, as they were cuddling and mumbling sleepily to each other. Carina had mentioned one of the recipes in her cookbooks. It wasn’t anything super complicated, quite the opposite. Soup. The doctor had told her it was something her mum used to make for her, she’d described it as “homely and warm” and the Italian had promised to make it for her the next time Maya had a rough day. Now Maya was going to make it for her. 

She flipped through the pages for a moment before landing on the right one. Gathering the ingredients, she laid them out on the worktop before dawning an apron and grabbing a knife. The recipe said to ‘cube’ the vegetables and while her technique wasn’t perfect, she made it work. The rhythmic sound of the knife against the cutting board was oddly soothing It was strangely therapeutic and she had really gotten into the zone. It was probably why Maya almost jumped out of her skin at the sudden noise from the living room 

“Hih’tshhu!”  

Maya’s head perked up from the vegetables she’d been chopping, glancing over her shoulder to peek into the living room. She could see her girlfriend sniffling quietly against her knuckles before watching as her shoulders tensed up, her upper body bending forward slightly she silently stifled another sneeze against her wrist. 

“Bless you princess.” She called out from the kitchen, pivoting on her feet to come over and press a soft kiss to Carina’s cheek as the sleepy Italian rubbed her eyes tiredly. 

Carina blinked a few times, trying to focus. "Maya? What... what time is it?" She mumbled groggily, pushing herself to sit upright. 

“Around 6-ish sweetheart,” Maya checked her phone, flipping it around to show her the time, “How long have you been asleep for love?” She asked before picking up the duvet from the floor, and tucking it over her girlfriend, not having to worry about waking her up anymore. 

Carina rubbed her eyes again, trying to shake off the grogginess that clung to her. "Feels like I've been out for ages," she muttered, snuggling into the blanket as it was pulled over her. "I just feel so... bleh." She found herself leaning into Maya’s touch as the blonde cupped her cheek once more. 

The firefighter came to sit beside her, smiling fondly as Carina instantly leaned against her, letting her head rest against her shoulder, “I’m sorry sweetheart, did you wake up feeling bleh?” She asked, gentle concern lacing her voice as she reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from Carina's face. 

Carina nodded tiredly; her eyes fluttering closed for a moment before she managed to open them again. "Yeah," She admitted softly, her voice slightly hoarse, "I think I caught something from work. My throat feels scratchy, and my nose keeps racing.” 

“Running, baby, your nose is running.” Maya corrected her fondly, her hand gently combing through the brunette’s tangled curls. Carina’s knowledge on English phrases had come far but she still slipped up every now and then, and honestly nothing was more adorable, “Did you take any medicine or anything before you fell asleep?” 

Carina let out a tired chuckle, her cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment. "Right, running," She murmured in acknowledgement. She was probably too tired to actually remember it for the future, but it was enough for now, “I accidently took some of the blue goo, instead of the daytime one. I forgot its name.” 

Maya nodded, knowing what she meant, “You took Nyquil then? No wonder you were so knocked out, poor baby, did sleeping help a little at least?” 

The Italian mumbled and shrugged a little, instead choosing to wrap her arms around Maya as she cuddled up to her. The two stayed like that for a few minutes, neither one wanting to ruin the silence as they just simply held each other. 

But suddenly, Carina’s stomach emitted a loud growl, breaking the quiet moment. She hid her face in the blanket slightly, embarrassment creeping up her cheeks. "Oops," She blushed sheepishly, "Guess I'm hungry." 

Maya chuckled softly, "No worries, sleepyhead," She said affectionately, "I've got something that’ll help, I just need to finish it off.” With that, she stood up, gesturing towards the kitchen. "Come on, let’s get you something warm to eat." 

As they made their way to the kitchen, Carina kept the whole duvet wrapped around herself, looking like she was in a cocoon as she shuffled her way there. Maya wrapped an arm around her waist and hid a giggle before helping Carina get settled on a chair. 

“Just sit tight.” She said lovingly before turning back to her ingredients. It didn’t take long for her to prepare the rest of the soup, stirring the simmering pot and occasionally tweaking the flavours until it was just perfect. They had recently bought a fresh baguette from the nearby bakery, so Maya buttered a few slices, sitting them on the edge of the bowl before serving it up with a giddy smile, “Here you go sweetheart.” Her eyes gleamed with pride as her girlfriend looked up at her in surprise. 

They ate in a comfortable silence, the only sounds filling the room being the occasional clink of utensils against bowls and the occasional sniffle or cough from the doctor. After finishing her soup, Carina leaned back with a contented sigh, feeling a bit more energized already. "That was amazing, bambina," she complimented, her eyes shining with appreciation. 

Maya beamed at the praise, feeling a swell of pride at being able to provide comfort for her girlfriend. "I'm glad you liked it, sweetheart," she replied warmly, reaching out to intertwine their fingers. She gently squeezed her hand, concern etched on her face. "You should probably rest some more baby," Maya suggested softly, her voice laced with tenderness. "I can clean up here, and then we can snuggle up together on the couch? 

Carina smiled gratefully and let her girlfriend help her to stand as she yawned, "Thank you, Maya," She murmured sleepily as the blonde helped her back over to the sofa, "You're the best." 

“You don’t have to thank me love,” Maya smiled as she made sure Carina was comfortably settled, “We’re under the same roof now, I’m always gonna look after you.” She knew it was likely that by the time she finished cleaning up that Carina will have already fallen back asleep already but that didn’t matter – she was still going to do all she could to make sure her girlfriend was okay. 

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[shinra-makonoid]

Genuinely asking as a pre-T trans man: do you (or your mutuals, followers, etc) have any genuine resources on vaginal atrophy due to T? Is it a common thing that I should be worried about? This is the first I’ve heard of it, but I don’t want to blindly trust a subreddit that’s viewed to be a misinformation-spreading radfem cesspool, without first getting more info on the phenomenon

I looked a bit for it.

My own experience with vaginal atrophy is resumed by this:

- my bits seem to get drier at the start of a new month of T, but it's usually just the few first minutes, after that it's good.

- my vag seems like it's narrower and more sensitive/fragile, but it isn't really a bother to me because I don't do PiV. If you do PiV make sure to actually have a lot of lubrication and not too rough or you might bleed. (TMI part) When I went to the gyn last time, I could feel it became narrower and was basically like swimming in a bunch of meat, instead of a cave, it was strange. (End TMI part)

- my bits can be itchy once in a while, but I'm still wondering whether that's due to my body adjusting to the new dosage I'm on (I went from half a vial every 2 weeks to one vial every 4 weeks, four months ago) or if that's an actual symptom. It used to be worse just after the change of dosage but now I barely register it so I would assume that's not going to last but still, I'm talking about it. It could also be due to hair, which grows thicker with T.

I think that's the standard VA symptoms for most trans men. Testosterone will cause you to have vaginal atrophy. Because basically what happens is that testosterone is so strong it kills out the estrogen (that's why we don't need anti hormones like trans women), and therefore putting us in a menopausal state.

This website seems to talk about a couple more of them like cramping and UTIs. It recommends vaginal cream but I can't comment on them, and I am not very certain that it had actual proven effects, despite the publicity. *Coughs* Buck Angel *coughs*

This article has interesting explanations about what happens regarding vaginal atrophy. There is also a part about trans women's vagina.

https://wchh.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/tre.651

This article claims that vaginal atrophy starts at 3-6 months and takes its full effect between 1 to 2 years.

https://www.thebody.com/article/pelvic-health-transgender-people

This talks about pelvic floor which is another thing radfems tend to be pretty bleak about but the person interviewed claims there's no evidence supporting the idea that testosterone in trans men harms pelvic floors.

I'm not doing them much but I would recommend anyone to do pelvic floor exercises. They can be harmed during a surgery in your lower parts (of any kind) and that's basically what contracts when you have an orgasm.

I hope it's somewhat informative, but please talk about your health concerns to actual professionals, they should have your best interest at heart and will be much more likely to ease your anxiety if that's a thing for you, than a random person on the internet. Go to the gyn too, it is very important.

If anyone has any information with a source I'll be happy to share.