#thing1 bakes

[27dragons]

Thing1: Okay, so-- Me: This is not going to end well. Thing1: The next time we use the sugar, there might be some… extra protein. Me: …what did you spill in the sugar? Thing1: I didn't put anything in there! We were just running low so I poured some more in from the bag in the pantry and I guess some ants had gotten into that. Me: ::facepalms:: Thing1: I picked out as many as I could! I just don't know if I got them all. Me: They were all dead? Thing1: Yeah. Me: …please just put sugar on the grocery list.

[27dragons]

Thing2: Okay, it says peel the banana

Thing1, 'supervising': PEEL?

Thing2: ...yes?

Thing1: Oh, I thought it meant like peel it with a vegetable peeler.

Me: REALLY excellent bread.

Thing2: These bananas are WAY overripe. I'mma make banana bread.

Me: Excellent, go for it.

Thing2: ...Is there a substitute for buttermilk?

Me: Yes. How much do you need?

Thing2: Half a cup.

Me: Okay, put like a teaspoon or so of lemon juice in the measuring cup, then add milk until you get to the half-cup mark, and leave it sit for like five minutes.

Me: comes into the kitchen to get something, notices the measuring cup Um. I thought you said half a cup?

Thing2: Yeah? I poured to the 1/2 cup mark.

Me: This is a 2-cup measuring cup. You poured to the 1 1/2 cup mark.

Thing2: ...

Me: This banana bread is going to be GREAT.

[27dragons]

Thing1: That doesn't make it healthy!

Thing2: It totally does.

Thing1: Just because it has like 2 grams of extra vitamins doesn't make it healthy!

Thing2: Two grams? Vitamins are measured in milligrams, that's totally healthy!

Thing2: These bananas are WAY overripe. I'mma make banana bread.

Me: Excellent, go for it.

Thing2: ...Is there a substitute for buttermilk?

Me: Yes. How much do you need?

Thing2: Half a cup.

Me: Okay, put like a teaspoon or so of lemon juice in the measuring cup, then add milk until you get to the half-cup mark, and leave it sit for like five minutes.

Me: comes into the kitchen to get something, notices the measuring cup Um. I thought you said half a cup?

Thing2: Yeah? I poured to the 1/2 cup mark.

Me: This is a 2-cup measuring cup. You poured to the 1 1/2 cup mark.

Thing2: ...

Me: This banana bread is going to be GREAT.

[27dragons]

Thing1, yelling: Ignore that noise, Mom!

Thing2, also yelling: I circumcised three bananas today!

Me: Maybe I will go upstairs until this is done.

Thing2: These bananas are WAY overripe. I'mma make banana bread.

Me: Excellent, go for it.

Thing2: ...Is there a substitute for buttermilk?

Me: Yes. How much do you need?

Thing2: Half a cup.

Me: Okay, put like a teaspoon or so of lemon juice in the measuring cup, then add milk until you get to the half-cup mark, and leave it sit for like five minutes.

Me: comes into the kitchen to get something, notices the measuring cup Um. I thought you said half a cup?

Thing2: Yeah? I poured to the 1/2 cup mark.

Me: This is a 2-cup measuring cup. You poured to the 1 1/2 cup mark.

Thing2: ...

Me: This banana bread is going to be GREAT.

[27dragons]

Thing1: Mom, Thing2 is having an existential crisis about measuring cups!

Thing2: They're both a cup, why are solids and liquids different???

Thing1: Because solids and liquids measure different!

Thing2: It's a powder, it's basically a liquid anyway!

Thing2: These bananas are WAY overripe. I'mma make banana bread.

Me: Excellent, go for it.

Thing2: ...Is there a substitute for buttermilk?

Me: Yes. How much do you need?

Thing2: Half a cup.

Me: Okay, put like a teaspoon or so of lemon juice in the measuring cup, then add milk until you get to the half-cup mark, and leave it sit for like five minutes.

Me: comes into the kitchen to get something, notices the measuring cup Um. I thought you said half a cup?

Thing2: Yeah? I poured to the 1/2 cup mark.

Me: This is a 2-cup measuring cup. You poured to the 1 1/2 cup mark.

Thing2: ...

Me: This banana bread is going to be GREAT.

[27dragons]

Thing1: Oh god...

Thing2: What?!

Thing1: Look, when I'm improvising things, it's different!

Thing2: These bananas are WAY overripe. I'mma make banana bread.

Me: Excellent, go for it.

Thing2: ...Is there a substitute for buttermilk?

Me: Yes. How much do you need?

Thing2: Half a cup.

Me: Okay, put like a teaspoon or so of lemon juice in the measuring cup, then add milk until you get to the half-cup mark, and leave it sit for like five minutes.

Me: comes into the kitchen to get something, notices the measuring cup Um. I thought you said half a cup?

Thing2: Yeah? I poured to the 1/2 cup mark.

Me: This is a 2-cup measuring cup. You poured to the 1 1/2 cup mark.

Thing2: ...

Me: This banana bread is going to be GREAT.

[27dragons]

Thing2: Shit, I was supposed to sift this stuff together first!

Thing1: It all gets mixed together, just stir it in now.

Thing2: I reserve the right not to eat this.

Thing2: These bananas are WAY overripe. I'mma make banana bread.

Me: Excellent, go for it.

Thing2: ...Is there a substitute for buttermilk?

Me: Yes. How much do you need?

Thing2: Half a cup.

Me: Okay, put like a teaspoon or so of lemon juice in the measuring cup, then add milk until you get to the half-cup mark, and leave it sit for like five minutes.

Me: comes into the kitchen to get something, notices the measuring cup Um. I thought you said half a cup?

Thing2: Yeah? I poured to the 1/2 cup mark.

Me: This is a 2-cup measuring cup. You poured to the 1 1/2 cup mark.

Thing2: ...

Me: This banana bread is going to be GREAT.