#theyre so doused in various condiments i dont even have to chew them i just slide them down my slippery gullet like its nothing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cherry-shipping · 2 years ago

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not that id ever want a job, and in reality if me and sans lived together hed probably be the one mostly responsible for our income on account of his countless fucked up jobs, BUT. i love the thought of sans being a cute shitty little househusband sending me off to work with a kiss and a lunchbox except the lunchbox is just, like, a compact bomb of as many sausages and a gross slurry of a million fucked up condiments as he could fit in there

#i try to open it and it just blasts me in the face like a pomegranet or an envelope bomb or something #theyre so doused in various condiments i dont even have to chew them i just slide them down my slippery gullet like its nothing #maybe sometimes he makes something other than that. but im sure its equally repulsive #like just. slams together shit in a pot and cooks it for a little while and calls it a day #cherry bomb #bf (bone friend)#this is‚ of course‚ all set in a potential universe where me and sans live together ALONE #if paps was there he would be so so much better at making lunches for me. so much fucking better #'but papyrus is a terrible chef' shut UP that was in the UNDERGROUND!!!! where he didnt have COOKBOOKS!!!!!!!!#and also his mentor was INSANE #anyway me and sans couldnt fucking possibly live together without anyone else mediating nobody would get anything done ever #it would be so messy and shitty and gross oh god. jesus christ #anyway that was todays dose of domestic skenp and sans ramblings except it probably wouldnt actually be like that at all #of course my made up ideas and rules for this specific selfship takes place in a world where we conveniently Dont Think About All That Shit #'what do you do for work how old are you where do you live where are your family members' the answer is dont even worry about it #i only think about the fun silly stuff and occasionally the not fun less silly but still conveniently vague stuff #you wouldnt get it.

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