#theyre nerds together!!! they both love dean but dean doesnt care about like. physics.

[ao3gingerswag]

Grown up Sam (quieter, calmer, working a good job with lots of paperwork eg accounting or law - possibly still living at the inn but def frequently there, and still handy in a fight) realising he was a right git to Cas initially and panicking over what his life could have been deciding to apologise and make amends. Cue awkward speeches, making lots of tea, soup, and DIY, just for Cas to be very confused because for him it was never Sam fault and he's been grand for a decade.

ok 1 just to clarify sam is absolutely living in the inn 100% forever. this is MY asexual found family fantasy that doesn't subscribe to modern american housing norms and i do what i want!!!! sorry that came off weirdly aggressive i know u weren't arguing with that dtxgcfhvjbkn.

anyway!! i think cas and sam bond a LOT as time goes on <33 honestly i think this happens way earlier than being grown up. i think he slowly slowly comes to trust not only cas more and more but also that his current life isn't going to get ripped away all of a sudden, until without having noticed it happening, he is happy and comfortable and believes he's gonna stay that way ;~; and once that happens and once he NOTICES that, that he trusts cas and his situation, that's when he's like oh holy fuck. i think he's like...13? the first time he has a breakdown about it ;~; i think he trusts cas before that i dont think it takes like 3 full years!!! but i think that's the first time he has the perspective to be like ooooh my suspicion and behavior towards cas was absolutely Not Fair. like up until then he's like ok yeah cas is great and One Of The Good Ones but also i reacted Normally and Rationally when i met him because Everyone In The World Is Evil. When he's like 13 he starts to realize that is not true and he behaved like a lunatic and also he almost KILLED cas and where would he be then where would dean be they would have died in that forest and so would have cas who's a good person and he's like aaaahhbhdgiuuygfyuiuigwkdbckwgfuwgfkuytgfuywevfjhsvcsviwgikwgfyuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaahhhhHHHHH!!! DDDDDD: and cries a lot about it. and apologizes a lot about it to. and cas has to be like sammy its ok ;~; <3 i'm here and ur here and so is dean and it all worked out and it's not ur fault u were Insane and ugh and omg i can totally see sam being like but i tried to KILL you what if I HAD!!!! and vugjbhknjl cas literal and blunt as ever just being like well. then i would be dead. and so would u and dean almost certainly. and sam is like !! D:

but! cas is also very kind and reassuring and is like yes and that would be horrible but guess what? it still wouldnt be your fault. it would be a tragedy but it would still be john and alastair's fault for putting all of us in that situation and traumatizing u to the extent that u were that afraid of me. and and somehow i think that would be the most comforting thing to sam?? more than just being reassured that there's no point in thinking about it because it DIDN'T happen. i think he'd be more settled by the realization that even if everything had gone horribly wrong and they all died, even by his own hand! it would be something closer to a tragic accident borne of negligence on the part of the adults (like a toddler shooting another toddler with a gun that hadn't been locked up) instead of a murder. ;~; like not that i believe older children are totally not responsible for their actions at all, but sam's situation wasn't so much "i am in pain and don't know how to handle it so i am lashing out and taking it out on other people" but "i actively believe my own and my friend's lives are in danger and am reacting with the defensive actions of someone being hunted by a rabid wolf" (not realizing that the rabid wolf is just sweet awkward cas, because he's been so turned around by his upbringing ;~;)

anyway! anyway. I think this happens like. a bunch of times as he grows up. like nervous breakdowns about this, frantic apologies, and he only gets over it very slowly. i think a Really Big Breakdown about it happens when he's 16, when he realizes CAS was 16 during all of this, and holy fuck what was he thinking thinking cas was like a full grown adult and omg he was only SIXTEEN and went through ALL THAT CRAP, in large part because of what sam put him thru!!! and he flips out about that ;~; but!!!! i would like to think that by the time that he's an adult like in his early 20s, he is...mostly at peace with what happened, and what could have happened, and that it isn't his fault. maybe the guilt will never 100% go away, but he can live with it, and he's made his apologies to cas many many times already and had them accepted over and over. and in conclusion cas and sam are besties :))

[missjackil]

A Dose of SPN Positivity!

For those who know me, they know I love this show.... flaws and all! im critical sometimes, but not overly. Bottom line, I am addicted to the story and Im in love with Sam and Dean.  With Season 14 about to start, and we’re all getting antsy, too much negativity has been flying around, so I want to share some things i love most about the show, and maybe make some of you reflect for a moment and think “Yeah, that is pretty great” and smile.  Supernatural has been referred to as “The Little Show That Could” and to me, its such a fitting description. Logically, on the surface, it looks like it just can’t. I mean, how can a fantasy/horror show, survive with such a low budget, light special effects, and not very scary most of the time. I mean hell, they dont even have that many monsters that look like monsters, so why has it lasted longer than a season or 2? Let alone, 14 seasons with no signs of stopping yet. First and foremost is obvious. Sam and Dean and the actors who play them.  This essay will be full of gushing about these boys, so if you dont feel like enduring such a hardship, scroll on past. if that interests you.....

Yes these 2 fabulous men are the life blood of this show. Without them, we’d have nothing. THEY are the reason, this little show can, and does. Even those who like one and not the other, even if they dont realize it, the one they prefer is who they are because of the other. Both of their qualities and flaws can be directly linked to their influence on each other. If for some reason the other was gone for good, the one left will change drastically. As we see when one is dead or in grave danger, albeit temporarily, the other changes. Sam is no longer sweet, laid back and practical, and Dean is no longer funny, charming, and nurturing.  In fact, they both seem to become an amplified version of their brother. When Sam dies, Dean gets quiet, sometimes too quiet. He also gets methodical and focused. You may get lucky and just get shot in the back, but if he chooses to speak, he chooses his words to let you know shits gonna hit the fan. “You have my brother, and you have one chance, just one, to hand him over, and if he isnt in one peice, when I find you, and I WILL find you, I will take you apart” Sam on the other hand is boiling over with emotion. My boy becomes savage. He doesnt always choose a lot of words to say, he gets his whole point across most of the time with “WHERES MY BROTHER???!!!!” This... my friends, is good stuff! These things couldnt be done with such beauty without Jared and Jensen. Their offscreen relationship, whatever it may be, is wonderful. Theres no denying the love and respect they have for each other. They are very supportive of each other, and help make the other better at their job. They’re not typical actors who have a work relationship but otherwise spend time with each other. They genuinely enjoy being together, and this shows on screen. When two people are this good at their jobs, and with each other, you just have to keep watching. Other things I love about the show, are kinda small. Some maybe youve never noticed, but maybe now you will and enjoy them too, like... Brains vs Brawn: At first glance, we all go Sam=brains, Dean=brawn right? But thats not actually the case. Dean is far from stupid, and Sam is nowheres near a wimp. Dean teases Sam about being a nerd, and Sam doesnt mind, he kinda wears his nerdiness like a badge of honor. Dean will never admit to being a nerd, but he is. He’s read Vonnegut, knows every old west cowboy statistic, and likes LARPing. Sam, though a bookworm, is one tough mofo. hes tall and muscular and has shown to be a little freakishly strong. He can also take a great deal of pain. And though Dean is known more to be the fighter, he can be very warm and nurturing. And nerdy Sam can make you shit your pants with just a look if you piss him off just right. I absolutely LOVE this balance!! Its one of my favorite things! Old school vs New; A lot has changed in 14 seasons. The brothers have grown, as well as the story, but their roots are never forgotten. They’re still driving around in the same car. Hell. Baby has become the 3rd lead! Even though they have mom back, they never forgot her, or dad, and both were spoken of often throughout the series. They refer back to old days often, so we can all get a feel of nostalgia when we remember too. Most episodes bring the deep past up in one way or another, I love this! Loss and Death: I know so many of us complain that they die and come back too much, but I have a real appreciation for it, The circumstances are always different, and so are the methonds of coming back. Sometimes the death isnt serious, or they dont “seem” dead, like in First Blood or Dark Side of the Moon, when there may have been an initial “wtf?” we got to see them in heaven, and in first blood, they came right back. However there was deep seriousness in All Hell Breaks Loose, No Rest for the Wicked,  Do You Believe in Miracles, Swan Song, Red Meat and Beat The Devil that you felt the dying brother’s physical pain, and then the emotional pain of the surviving brother.  No matter how many times they die, they still hit these types of episodes out of the park. WE may know theyre coming back, but they dont. it still crushes them and I love this! Sam and Dean’s Sexuality: I love that their sexual natures are different, but theyre both okay. Dean is sexually active, enjoys porn and vocalizes some fantasies, Though Sam can tease him a little, its just brotherly ribbing, its not judgemental or trying to make Dean feel bad. Sam isnt overly sexual, he’s gone many seasons without sex at all. He doesnt appear to enjoy porn, we know he doesnt like strip clubs, and its NOT because he’s unattractive!! Dean teases him but he doesnt try to make him feel bad. When he has heavily suggested that Sam get laid, its just because he wants him to have fun. Dean even said he appreciated that Sam wanted to stay pure and waited. Otherwise, its okay that Sam is (at least kinda) asexual. Neither are shunned or judged because of their sexuality. Winsync: This is one of the greatest things. if they didnt do this, we wouldnt care, we would never say “It would be a much better show if the brothers mirrored each other, or did the same thing at the same time” but for whatever reason, TPTB wanted this, and it works so well! Its an intimacy we can see without the show going OTT bromantic. Its the connection, the closeness, and being soulmates. I LOVE this! Soulmates and Brothers: Normally a show will make soulmates out of lovers. It’s not often they do it with siblings. It helps justify their deep love and devotion. It adds an additional layer to their relationship. It makes them so tied together that they will share eternity in heaven together, and not just in their memories. This was a very good decision made by Kripke and crew, so we will all know they cant live without each other, even if they just lived in different homes. I love this! Meta Madness: Though I dont like all the meta episodes, I do love the fact they can do them, and DO do them. Because the whole premise is the supernatural, nothing is impossible, even AUs and cartoon worlds. Sometimes I might roll my eyes, but its awesome to me that they can experiment this way and see how it goes. I Love this!! The Bros are Oblivious: Sam and Dean have been through basically everything, and have seen and done everything, yet they seem shocked when people say theyre famous, or when they heard people tell stories about them. Occasionally they grasp their importance, like when they tell people they save the world, but they were impressed that Asa fixed killed 5 Wendigo, and had an Angel Blade, and Father Luca met the Pope. I mean God hung out at the bunker and made them pancakes! Their Heads Dont Get Too Big: Every once in a while, TPTB make sure we, and the boys, remember that they are only human. Even if they lock away Satan, kill Death, save God’s life, they’re just men. Remember when Bobby died and Dean was sure he wouldnt because “its just one bullet!” ? I can see how it would seem so silly to Dean, and even to us, that someone who has lived through so much, could die from a stupid little bullet. I think that one of the smartest things the show has done in ages, was to have Sam tortured by Toni and friend. Sam was so bold and cocky (and need I say sexy?) telling Toni he’d been tortured by the devil himself, and what could she do to him... He soon learned Hell torture or not,  cold showers still suck, blow torches to the feet still hurt like hell, and a mortal human can still fuck with his head. And Dean, well he can still be put on the injured reserve list from a jacked up leg. IMO S12 was great for re-humanizing the Winchesters. I love this! Comedy to Tragedy: Some of the best episodes, started out funny and ended in a tear jerker. Mystery Spot, Just My Imagination, and Beat The Devil top my list. I love the emotional rollar coaster, Coming away exhausted from an episode is the bestthing I can ask for! They havent tried it the other way around, tragedy to comedy, and thats good. If you are crying at the beginning and laughing later, it doesnt justify the grief and you may feel let down and hollow after. SPN is great with having some humor in even the most depressing episodes, but they know when using it and leaving it out is best. I love this! Brohugs: My #1 favorite thing, aside from the hug in 6.1, they have all been beautiful. Not once, have the boys lost the love, or even repeated the same hug. Each one conveys a different message, a different emotion, but all say “I love you more than everything” and I wont ever get tired of them! I would do anything for a single hug in my whole life that had such love in it, as any Winchester bro hug! I.LOVE.THIS!! Now I hope if you read this far, you got to smile a few times, and a spark was added to the fire that you fell in love with 14 seasons ago. Here’s to S14, i hope its filled with all of these wonderful things!