#theyre also assuming time passes indefinitely after the realization

[good-beanswrites]

Collateral Angst - The real point of the story isn't "the victim was attacked" but "look how protective/self-loathing/angsty/loving the victim's friend is." (TVTropes)

How about collateral whump?

How does Fuuta feel about being the chew toy in any given Amane angst fic?

KIDDING (kinda). Real answer under the cut, but this is referring to the Amane timeloop angst fic by Kyanako and Nott!

Ow. Just, OW.

First and foremost, I think he’d be shocked to discover he’s not the main character. (Even in a non-fourth wall breaking sense,) I think after being so stuck in an internet environment that emphasizes the self, after envisioning himself as a hero so often, then to have his worldview shattered and believe himself a villain, it would not compute that the universe is administering cosmic punishment to some girl just a liiiittle to the left. Cue a lot of anger, a lot of attempted force to get himself out of the situation, and a lot of panic. Once he deals with the crushing blow that he’s not the special main character he thought he was, I see a few possibilities with even chances (depending on how many loops he’s been through/how the information was revealed/when the information was revealed/etc):

The first and best option is that he finds some sort of purpose in lifting up Amane. It sucks, and it’s going to get him beaten, tortured, and killed a million ways, but in doing so he’s helping the person he’s become the most protective over. He can at least take some pain away that the universe had aimed her way. She gets so much stronger and changes her frame of mind in honor of his misfortune. He may not end up on top, but he finds peace in willingly sacrificing himself for someone he deeply cares about. He'd become a more reckless and self-harming now that he sees that as his purpose, but he's happy with it.

If he’s in a slightly worse state of mind, he may come to the same peace, but for selfish reasons. He realizes he is some kind of chosen after all, since the universe is using him to lift up the true protagonist. He undergoes his suffering with the knowledge that he’s still a hero, he’s still special, he’s just special because he gets to help Amane. As his role goes to his head, he'd start trying to influence other things in the timeline, occasionally making things better but also making them worse if he tried to take on too much.

If he’s in a really bad state of mind, his desperate and hurting brain will make the connection that all this pain is technically because of Amane herself. If the universe is hurting him to hurt her, then without her, he’d be in no danger. He’d spiral – ranging from distancing himself as much as he can from her, to outright confronting her as the source of all this pain.

Not the worst but certainly not a good option – something clicks in his already-fracturing mind about Amane’s religious views and he sees the situation as his hell. God is real and punishing him for killing a young girl, so to atone he must suffer to protect His special girl. It’d be a weird mix of a mindset, since Fuuta genuinely believes he’s in hell for what could feel like an eternity until he’s paid his debt – but also retains the small hope that he’s working towards the reward of heaven. He would do absolutely nothing in this case, thinking just rolling over and going with the flow is what he's meant to endure.

[uniformbravo]

melts into the floor.......................... that episode was so good................... it was SO good...................

like fuck dude i dont even know what to say i love nishimura & kitamoto so MUCH bro i can’t handle this im gonna PASS OUT i want 30 more episodes about just the two of them and natsume i need it....... o hmy god......... fUC im a mess

when natsume told kitamoto he wants to stay in this town forever because he loves it here 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that line fuckin DECKED ME i CANNOT handle when he says shit like that i CANT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HES SO HAPPY HERE it’s the ONLY place he’s ever really like really been happy, how could he ever want to leave, or move on? the sad way he says “i know it’s probably impossible, but i’d like to stay here” is so............. that feeling of being in such a good place, a time of so much happiness, and knowing it can’t last forever, existing in this way indefinitely.... GOD that hits hard 

also i love LOVE how both stories were about not only their individual experiences befriending natsume but ALSO both involved youkai in some way like god fuck oh my god i die for any scrap of that shit w/ these two??? i kno its literally the last thing natsume wants but PLS i love the idea of them getting involved in youkai stuff so much i NEED it ghggngh

Natsume Is Their Weird Friend And They Love Him Very Much god nishimura finds him passed out in the woods and IMMEDIATELY runs over to help him and all but DRAGS him to his house to get him to rest like PLEASE that is the aggressive nishimura love we like to SEE, that “if ur not gonna take care of urself then i guess I’M just gonna have to do it HUH” attitude he has ghgufhghg nishimura’s like “take care of yourself Or Else 🔫”

ALSO when kitamoto hears natsume talking to the youkai and assumes he’s getting bullied and FLIES into the room BOTH TIMES ready to defend him hello???? HELLO?????? that is some A PLUS SHIT MY DUdES, MY BOYS OUT HERE READY TO DEFEND MY BOY WE LOVE TO SEE IT,

when natsume mentions that he also lives on the second floor of his house and nishimura’s like woah that’s the first time i’ve ever heard him talk about himself hhu huuoOUH UUOHGOUHUOOU UHUOUOHUHUGHHGHhhH natsume slowly opening up to them......... letting himself be a little more honest w them...... WAIT THAT THOUGHT MAKES THAT ONE EPISODE SO MUCH SADDER the one w the culture festival and the theme of the ep was being honest w/ his friends and how much he can trust them with etc

they can get him to come out of his shell and smile more and spend time with them but no matter what they do he can never open up to them fully, there always has to be secrets between them, he has to keep a whole side of himself hidden from them oh noooooooo aaaaAAAAAA

AND THEY NOTICE when he’s being guarded too, they can tell when he closes himself off like that AAAAAAAAAAA nishimura talking about natsume’s fake smiles and kitamoto talking about his eyes like glass oughgoughuhfuofhghh no matter what they do there will always be moments where natsume hides himself from them again and they can’t really fully understand why so then you get scenes like that one in the culture festival ep where they urge natsume to be more genuine and honest with them and natsume instantly clams up again and they just have to accept that and i just. they just :(((((((((((((((

(but the fact that they’re able to get him to open up even as much as he has is....... i hope they realize what a huge fucking deal that is)

other things from this ep tho, nishimura yells at natsume about the paper cranes and then later after everything’s resolved he helps teach him how to make them......... he’d said it’s something every kid learns to do but the fact is that natsume didn’t learn so he helps him learn now and GOD it’s just like the bike thing all over again i SCREAM natsume getting to experience things now that he never could as a kid is just an instant fucking KO every goddamn time and nishimura and kitamoto are so often the ones making it happen and i just DIE ok i die fuckin hell gOD,

(sidenote back in the library when nishimura’s like “why don’t you just ask touko to help you learn why do you have to come to the library and learn from some book” and natsume’s like “i wanted to make sure i could actually do it before offering to help with the cranes” hoo OOOUHHHHH

wants to make sure he’ll actually be useful.... doesn’t want to embarrass himself by failing to be helpful and wasting her time AS IF she would see it even REMOTELY like that god she’d be so touched whether he could make 500 or 0 of them bc the fact that he offered to help at all means a lot more than he could ever imagine PLEASE i fall to the floor)

and the fact that nishimura’s issue is wanting natsume to rely on him more... when he blows up at him that’s his main deal, like. holy shit. this youkai has attached itself to him and is amplifying his stress and frustration to the point that he takes it out on natsume and even then it’s not “you’re weird, you’re a freak, leave me alone, stop talking to me,” it’s “why won’t you rely on me? why are you so distant? i’m trying so hard and you won’t even look at me” and that’s so monumental, especially in natsume’s case like. i think in a weird way that meant a lot to natsume??? like fuck, nishimura runs off and natsume goes after him to save him from the youkai, and afterward, when he’s talking to nyanko sensei, he says that nishimura is a good guy and that he’s important to him like..... LIKE........ FUC NISHIMURAS SO GOOD FUCk

and then there’s when natsume speaks so openly and genuinely about certain things that kitamoto’s surprised because social norms categorize those kinds of things as too embarrassing to just outright say to someone, and he’s like “hmm he really must not have learned those things when he was younger huh” (which, A) but then later, “i’m glad he’s able to be open like this” 🥺

i also LOVE how much this ep focused on each of their individual lives, like with nishimura’s brother and kitamoto’s sister & father...... Things That Make You Love Characters Even More ghfhgh like my love for them has always been mostly within the context of their friendship with natsume, but this was the first time they actually stood out as individuals and HEY it turns out i love them both on their own merit too WOWIE i love them theyre so good hey nishimura and kitamoto???? ARE GOOD

in conclusion i just....... they both meet this boy and think that he’s strange and quiet but they both give him a chance and accept him for who he is and it’s so good they are so so good this ep fuckin annihilated me thank FUCKING god it exists im gonna bask in it forever now holy shit thank u aaaaaaaAAAA