#theyll never empathize with me but i cant really blame them

[lntrusiveknock]

#femcelcore and maybe a little human : “its a mog or get mogged world ”

im ngl finding out how truly mid i am and now i feel so physically mid even if i was ever looks-maxed-out – is a canon event and youll only care if you believe you can relate from this pov i promise (and happens to unfortunately be as peripherally shallow as me)…

an 8 can be so happy walking around 6.5s and 7s and even other 8s but put that 8 in a room with an undefeatable 11… not a 10… which i can lie to myself saying beauty is subjective and with intentional effort put in the way it is within a specific category but an 11… like shes making me realize the insidious truth that any happiness i used to have over my own appearances is thanks to not making use of my intuitive insecurity at this point i

know at least i try to glaze myself sometimes and truthfully i really dont know it until jealousy has to show up in the flesh and teach me the hard way like i promise…. to trust my insecure intuition bc if u know ur unbelievably alien like truly ethereal otherworldly pretty i mean were (cue whos we) just hard 6.5s or pushing it 7 lol like there is a level playing field for a girl (im embarrassed to call myself this ngl…) like me and its not going to trick or convince even my desperate self… it hurts now that i’m never even going to get to be the main character in my own heart now ngl like i wish i could choose me but i sit here having met an 11 girl knowing that i’m really just coping as much as the blessed 6s my most honest but darkest heart finds are too vain and almost i dare say deluded sometimes into finding an extent of happiness in their own appearances like i know self love in the superficial form is almost characteristic to a conventional girl but the consensus among the actually pretty people (im not referring to myself i just know) is that its really not inherent or rightfully or socially acceptably accessible to some less lucky people out here (me.) now that sucks i feel like the man who can never get to fulfil his obligation simply bc i am not born with a socially acceptable and rewarded capability for masculinity