#they're supposed to be rare but every Cullen's got one? come on...

[manipulatedstars]

Okay wow I really liked this series a lot 🥺

It's different from most other Bella & vampire!reader works, it was so fun to be like an extra character thrown into the book and waiting for her to figure things out. I really adore their sibling dynamic, and this true-to-the-books stubborn as hell Bella is the one I truly adore. I loved how you pointed out the similarities between her and Edward, that was such a cute little detail. Also you treated us to protective Jasper and badass reader, thank you so much for that. And the way she gradually got used to the scent of Bella's blood, but still had trouble at the hospital.

ANYWAY I just really enjoyed this so thank you very much for writing and sharing!!

Swan Sisters (Part 1)

Jasper Whitlock X Reader

Bella Swan and Sister!Reader focus

Request:  Hello :D, I did like to make a request where Jasper's mate is Bella's older sister that lived with Charlie instead of going with her mother, so she was turned into a vampire even before Bella comes back so when she moves to Forks the reader avoids Bella for some time.

Note: I have attempted, though it definitely ran away from me! Part 2 coming soon, because I felt like it was getting too long. I really loved this request, and I hope I'm doing it justice.

Word Count: 3962

Warnings: None that I can think of! Maybe a bit jumpy, also does not really follow the book timeline, so apologies to any hardcore fans out there! There's gonna be discrepancies.

---

“Bella’s gonna come live with us for a while.”

“What?”

Your head shoots up, eyes impossibly wide as you stare at Charlie, your father.

“Yup. Your mom’s hitting the road with Bill, so Bells is going to come stay here,” Charlie explains as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

“His name is Phil, dad,” you snort, though you still can’t wrap your mind around the news.

“Close enough,” he grumbles as he goes back to his paper.

You let out a heavy sigh, an old habit, and wring your fingers together.

This is really not good. Really really not good. 

You haven’t seen your younger sister since you were turned. It’s hard enough being around Charlie, you had to go on a month long “roadtrip” to adjust, which was actually just a month at the Cullen’s Alaskan home with Jasper. It’s easier when you’re with him, since he helps keep you in control. Everything is easier with Jasper by your side.

But you can’t have him at your side all the time here, in your home. Charlie wouldn’t like that. You cope for the most part, since you just graduated and work from home. Billy and Jake are the only ones who visit, and they don’t exactly smell all that great. Besides them, it’s still a struggle to be around other humans, and the thought that you might hurt Bella? It makes your chest hurt.

“I’m going for a run,” you mumble, throat tight, and you can’t tell if it’s thirst or anxiety. Either way, the buzzing under your skin is only getting worse the longer you do nothing.

“Take some mace with you, there’s been some weird animal activity in the woods recently,” Charlie calls as you head for the door.

“Sure thing.”

You tuck the canister of mace into your pocket despite knowing how pointless it is. You could handle anything in the woods with your bare hands, but if it helps Charlie feel at ease, you might as well.

You get a few paces from the house before you take off like a bullet. The forest whips by, blurry and focused all at once. Every deer, every squirrel, every spider, you can feel it, hear it as clearly as you can hear your feet pounding against the ground. And you can hear voices ahead of you as you near the glassy house tucked deep in the forest.

Alice must have seen you coming, because Jasper is waiting on the doorsteps, dark eyebrows set in concern, jaw tense. You come to a stuttering stop in front of him, practically falling into his arms when he opens them for you. The moment they wrap around you, all the anxiety, the worry, the fear, dims into a low hum, replaced with something warm and comforting and so Jasper.

His question rests heavily in the silent moment you take to compose yourself, to just breathe in his scent. Old books and gunpowder. He hasn’t touched a gun in ages, but somehow it lingers, and you love it. It reminds you that everything turns out for the better, just like you and him.

“Bella’s coming to stay with us,” you confide into his neck, fingers curling in his sweatshirt.

Jasper’s arms tighten just a fraction around you. “You’re scared.”

“More like terrified,” you breathe and pull back to look into his eyes, golden just like yours, like the sun. If you didn’t feel so much like crying, you’d bask in it, but you can’t do either now, and all that comes out is your voice, broken and shaky, “I don’t want to hurt her, Jas. She’s my little sister. I can’t hurt her.”

“You won’t,” Jasper insists softly, hands coming up to hold your face, fingers cool and smooth against your cheeks.

“How can you be sure?” 

“Because, darlin’, you care too much. Under this fear, you’re all…stubbornness.” The corners of his lips quirk up. “But if you’d like, we could take another trip, jus’ you and me. I hear Brazil’s nice this time of year.”

You shake your head, “As much as I love the sound of that, cowboy, I don’t think my dad will be such a fan of me disappearing again.”

“That’s a shame, I sure wouldn’t mind seein’ you-”

“Jas.” You narrow your eyes, and the vampire smirks.

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Let’s stay on topic, shall we?” You chirp, resisting your own urge to smile.

“My apologies, ma’am.” Jasper gives you a mock bow and takes your hand to press a kiss to your knuckles, eyes dancing with mirth as he looks up at you.

This does get you to smile, “You are ridiculous, mister.”

“And you’ve calmed down.”

You pause, check in with yourself. Jasper always seems to be more aware of your feelings than you are thanks to his ability. And he’s right, you do feel calmer. Your mind is clearer and the urge to run has dimmed. The worry is still there though.

You can’t let her figure out what you’ve become, or what the Cullens are. You don’t want to leave Forks, after all, and you can’t leave Charlie behind. So you’ll just have to make sure she doesn’t figure it out. Shouldn’t be that hard, right?

---

The moment Bella steps into the house, you realize just how wrong you are.

The scent of fresh blood hits you like a truck, or perhaps something worse considering you could handle a truck now. A werewolf maybe. It makes you falter, chest completely freezing as you stop breathing all together.

You were very, very wrong.

“Hey, Tinkerbell,” you greet her, forcing every bit of warmth into your voice despite the pain creeping up your throat.

Bella rolls her eyes, but a smile pulls at her lips as she sets her suitcase down, “I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Sorry, but it’s a forever thing, hun,” you chirp and move to give her a quick hug. She accepts it far too awkwardly, which you’d tease her for any other day, but you’re more focused on putting some distance between you. “So, how was the trip?”

Your sister looks at you for a moment, something unreadable in her eyes, which makes you shuffle your feet out of habit. Did she notice the cold skin thing? You’d put on several layers though, and you’ve both always run cold. Maybe your eyes? No, no you’re wearing the contacts. 

“You look different.”

Crap.

You feign innocence, casting her a confused glance, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know…”

“Your sister’s on a big health kick, she’s looked different since she started.”

Thank God for Charlie.

“Health kick?” Bella raises an eyebrow at you, far too smug for your liking.

“All you’re nagging finally paid off,” you huff, secretly relieved.

“Not on me,” Charlie points out, almost proudly.

This takes most of the attention off of you thankfully, as Bella turns to chastise your father and they fall into an all too familiar debate. She’s still the same Bella, and Charlie is still Charlie. You’re the only one who’s changed.

Something twinges in your long-still heart.

You don’t regret your decision, you could never regret choosing Jasper, but looking at your family, you can’t help but realize how temporary this will all be. While you will end up disappearing with some elaborate story, they’ll keep living, keep aging. They’re human and you’re not anymore.

Another breeze catches Bella’s scent, the fire in your throat flaring back to the front of your mind. You swallow dryly.

Focus, (Y/n), focus.

Without a sound, you busy yourself grabbing Bella’s bags and taking them to her room. It’s all you can do to stop the hunger from taking you away. It’s like you didn’t just feed a few hours ago, like you haven’t fed in weeks. You haven’t felt this bad since you first turned.

If only Jasper was here. It’d be so much easier if you could just tuck yourself into his chest, forget the world for even a moment. But then he’d be struggling just as much as you are. You could never ask that of him.

So you tuck yourself into your room, shouting down the stairs that you have some work to do. Even when Billy and Jacob drive up in the truck Charlie bought for Bella, you merely perch at the window and watch on. Billy must feel your gaze because he glances up to you, his lips pinching into a thin line when your eyes meet.

Is it even possible for someone to look more disapproving? You can’t imagine it, looking down at Billy right now. To think, the man used to be like a second father to you. And then you turned, and suddenly you were on opposite sides of a longstanding war.

You miss him, and Jacob. So much.

All that’s left of that relationship is a curt nod, a small sign of respect, before Billy turns back to Charlie as if nothing happened. At least you know he won’t say anything. That would hurt Charlie more than you.

With a soft sigh, you watch as Bella hops into her truck. She leans forward, obviously looking for something in the house. You lift a hand, catching her attention. Bella sends you a relieved smile, waving back, before she shifts into gear and backs out of the driveway. Off to school, you guess.

You take a deep breath, letting the clean smell of your room fill your senses. It helps sooth the pain in your throat, enough that you can think a little clearer.

You need to stay as far away from Bella as possible. At least, for the time being, until you get used to her scent. She’ll probably notice, your sister has always been more perspective than you give her credit for. After all, it’s no diet that’s changed the way you look. 

You’ll just have to be even more careful.

---

“What?”

You blink owlishly, glancing between Jasper and the rest of the coven to Edward, who looks more nervous than you’ve ever seen him look. In fact, you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look nervous.

“She’s his singer,” Alice explains softly.

“Bella?”

“Yes.”

“My sister?”

“...Yes.”

An indescribable feeling burns in your chest as you cast another glare towards Edward.

I’m going to kill him.

“I didn’t do anything!” He exclaims, holding his hands up defensively.

“She’s my sister, Edward,” You growl, temper simpering.

“It’s not like I have a choice in the matter,” he snaps back.

You lunge for the man, only stopping when a pair of arms circle around your waist like iron bars. You snarl, struggling against the bonds, clinging to the anger burning in your chest when a flood of calm water rushes in to wipe it away.

“Let me go, Jasper,” you bite out, but his grip only tightens.

“Calm down.” His voice is firm, his ability cloaking you further with calm calm calm.

You grit your teeth, eyes clenching as you shake your head, as if that can rid you of his powers. You don’t want to be calm. You want to tear Edward limb from limb. Every morsel of your being is screaming at you to protect your sister, protect your family, even though you know Edward would never hurt someone.

It’s impossible to hold out long against Jasper’s ability though. You’re one of the few that actually can resist, if only for a short time. But eventually, you have to give in. You slump back into Jasper’s hold. The last strands of your fury melt away, soothed when your mate presses a kiss to your temple with a low hum.

With one final deep breath, you turn back to Edward, “So, what are you going to do?”

“I can’t stay here,” he murmurs, voice tight, “Not with what Alice has seen. I’ll go to the Denari, stay with them for a while.”

“For how long?”

“However long it takes.”

You purse your lips and nod, “Be safe. And don’t be long okay? I may want to kill you now, but I’ll miss you.”

Edward flashes a snarky grin your way before nodding to the rest of his family and disappearing to go tell Carlisle. The others disperse as well, probably wanting to occupy themselves after such a crazy day. You huff softly. 

It must be difficult for all of them to be separated from him, since they’ve been together for so long. Even after just a few years, you’ve come to love Edward like the brother you never had, which makes you feel all the more conflicted about all of this.

Instead of facing it, you turn to Jasper and wrap your arms around his waist, chin propping against his chest as you gaze up at him,“How did you feel today? Everything okay?”

“Besides the constant concern from my siblings?” He sighs, and you brush your fingers comfortingly along his jaw. Jasper leans into your touch, kind of like a content cat. “I find myself still struggling with certain…urges.”

You hum softly, “I hope you’re not ashamed of that.”

Jasper perks a brow at you.

“I just mean that you should keep in mind how hard you’re working,” you elaborate, “Give yourself credit for that, Jas. You may have to work twice as hard as them, but you’re doing so well. I mean, look at us. You knew me for years as a human, and I know how hard that was for you, but you never, ever hurt me.”

The blond purses his lips, glancing between your eyes for a silent moment. It’s only when he feels your sincerity, a feeling akin to a warm blanket on a cold day, that the tension drips from his shoulders.

“You really are something, darlin’,” he murmurs, lips pulling into a slanted grin as he ducks down to press a kiss to your lips, “Worryin’ about me when you’re facin’ your own problems.”

“Well, I can always just come here when Bella’s home, you’re stuck in that school. I’m sure she’ll notice me avoiding her, but that’s better than her ending up dead, right?” The words send a pang through your chest.

“Based on today, I’d say your need to protect her far outweighs your thirst, sweetheart,” Jasper drawls, a touch of humor in his tone, “You looked this close to killing, Edward.”

“Oh, I would have. If he even touches her, I still might.” Jasper grins amusedly down at you, despite how serious you are trying to be. You set your lips into a stubborn frown to hide your own smile. “Seriously! I need you to keep an eye on him at the school when he comes back, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.” You huff and stretch onto your toes to press a kiss to his curled lips. Jasper chases after you as you pull away, but you cover his mouth before he can draw you into anything more. A giggle breaks past your facade when his brows steeple, eyes narrowing at you. “Sorry! But I need to go home, mister. I may have to keep my distance, but goodness knows Charlie can’t cook, and we don’t have food to make anything, so I need to make sure that girl gets something good to eat.”

“You can get there in seconds,” Jasper grumbles through your fingers, grip tightening around your waist as he pulls you even closer.

“Yes, but we both know that I won’t be leaving anytime soon if you start something,” you point out, a teasing smile on your lips, “And it’s not like I’ll be gone long. I’ll come back tonight, okay?”

That’s when the sad puppy look comes out. For being the strong, southern hero type, Jasper is secretly a sucker for some soft attention, and he’s figured out exactly how to get it. He quickly mastered the puppy-eyes once he realized how they weaken your resolve. The little, conniving devil knows exactly how to get to you.

“Don’t give me that look,” you groan, squeezing your eyes shut, “Please, Jaz? I promise I’ll come back.”

“...fine.” Jasper relents, you can feel his grin under your fingers. “I’ll be waitin’ for you, darlin’.”

“I love you, Jazzy.”

His laughter fills you with a warmth you no longer have. You’d be a blushing mess if you could, especially when he kisses your palm, all gentle and soft, eyes alight with mischief.

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

“I already was.”

“I swear-”

---

The next week goes by miraculously, somehow, between you avoiding Bella and Edward being gone. You get away with a few lies whenever Bella tries to talk to you.

Oh, I have some work I need to finish tonight.

My boss is about to call, can we talk later?

Sorry Bells, work is just killing me this week.

Each time, when you have to watch her face fall, guilt claws viciously at your chest. It’s not like you want to avoid her. If anything, you wish you could just sit down, spend hours talking, about school, about boys, about everything. But everytime she gets close, the familiar burning feeling comes back. Weaker and weaker each time, thank the heavens, but you still can’t bring yourself to linger.

Bella doesn’t seem too keen on being patient though, as she corners you one evening while you’re cooking dinner.

“Do you know the Cullens?”

Every muscle in your body goes still, but only for a millisecond, before you force yourself to keep moving, breathing, blinking.

“Kind of! As well as most people, at least.” Not exactly a lie. “I knew of them while I was in school.”

“How about Edward?”

Ah. You recognize that tone. The slight interest, a touch of curiosity. 

It’s exactly how you felt when you first learned about the Cullens, when you met Jasper.

“What, are you into him?” You cast her a glance, eyebrow raised teasingly.

“What? No!” Oh, she’s blushing. Now you really have to keep an eye on Edward. “He’s a total weirdo anyways.”

You snort, “Yah?”

“I have biology with him, and he just…I don’t know. He was so weird, and then I caught him trying to change classes after school. I think he hates me, but I don’t know why.” She looks so put out by the idea, an all too familiar pout on her lips.

“I doubt that’s the case, Bells,” you chime, “Edward’s not that kind of guy.”

“I thought you said you barely know him?”

Whoops.

You smile down at your soup nervously, “I don’t, I just meant that he doesn’t seem like that kind of guy. The Cullens are weird, but Dr. Cullen is a kind man. Dad likes him.”

Plus, you know exactly why Edward acted that way, not that you can tell her. It’s far from hatred, you think bemusedly.

“So you don’t think it’s a coincidence? Him asking to leave the class the day I start? Or that he hasn’t come back to school since?” Bella crosses her arms, staring you down with the stubbornness of a bull. She really is Charlie’s daughter.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Tinker Bell. Maybe he just got sick?” You force a smile, despite the pit opening in your stomach from the lie. “Boys are weird, take it from me.”

“Does that mean you have a boyfriend?”

“And dinner’s ready!” You squeak, dancing right past that question, “Could you go tell dad?”

“Sure.” Bella gives you a look that says this conversation definitely isn’t over, but does as you asked anyways.

You breathe a sigh of relief once she’s out of the room.

Of all the things to start talking about, of course she would pick the Cullens. You can’t blame her, you really can’t. When they first showed up in Forks, everyone was inexplicably drawn to the vampires. Not so inexplicably, you guess. You were drawn to Jasper the moment you laid eyes on him. His quiet, almost shy demeanor did you in, and the accent. To this day, you still swoon over that deep, southern drawl.

And now it’s like you’re watching it all from the start. The disappearing. The self-doubt. The intrigue. Except it’s Bella and Edward instead of you and Jasper. 

“So, what’s for dinner, (Y/n)?” Charlie rubs his hands together as he shuffles into the kitchen.

“Tortellini soup, old man. Low sodium, but plenty of chicken, just for you,” You tease as you put a bowl in front of him.

“Dad, does (Y/n) have a boyfriend?” Bella follows close behind, and you can’t help but quawk at her.

“Bella!”

“She sure does,” Charlie snorts as he blows on his soup, “That Cullen boy.”

Bella shoots you a look, something between a glare and something smug. You cringe away, busying yourself with cleaning up. You’re screwed, you’re so screwed.

“Which Cullen boy?” She presses.

“The blond one. Not too bad, that kid.” And Charlie is completely oblivious! He’s supposed to be on your side here!

“I thought you said you barely know them?” Bella prompts, brow raised in accusation.

Think quick, (Y/n).

“They’re a private family, Bells, and you don’t understand how people are here.” You dig into old emotions, one’s you’ve long since buried. Hopefully it’ll make her uncomfortable enough to stop. “When it came out in school that Jasper and I were dating, people were horrible to me. I don’t like talking about it.”

It brings back every pain seeded in your heart. You faced it all. Jealousy, hateful notes shoved into your locker, obscene rumors whispered as you walked down the halls. Everyone you grew up with, everyone you loved, turned on you, just like that. You had no one except the Cullens and Charlie after that.

“I have work to do,” you mutter, grabbing a bowl of soup to pour down your sink later. “Enjoy the food.”

“(Y/n)-”

“I’m sure he’ll come back soon, Bells. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he does.” You give her a gentle, sad smile. “He is a good guy.”

And with that, you disappear upstairs, every step like a heavy weight, pulling you underwater.

It’s not supposed to be this hard. You’re supposed to be able to tell her everything. That’s how it’s always been. Even when your parents divorced, even when they moved to Arizona, you and Bella never drifted apart. You told her every tiny detail of your life.

Until high school.

When it all happened, you were just so…embarrassed. You’re the older sister, you were supposed to be strong, set a good example, show her that she could do anything. But you just ended up drowning, with Jasper as your only source of air.

So you’ll do anything for him, for the Cullens, even if that means lying to your sister. And it’s protecting her too, you remind yourself as you settle down at your desk. The less she and Charlie know, the safer they are from the Volturi.

You can do that, at least. Protect them. Both the Cullens and your family. No matter how many lies you have to tell, or creative answers you have to whip up for Bella’s sure to be unending number of questions, you will protect them.

And who knows! You perk up, trying your hardest to be positive. Maybe this won’t be exactly like you and Jasper. Maybe this is just a passing curiosity that will let up once Edward comes home, and you can forget it all in a week. Eventually you’ll be able to talk to her about Jasper, just without all the bloody details.

Yah. Once she’s safe, from you and the looming threat that comes with this truth, everything will go back to normal. Hopefully.

---

I'm struggling a bit with this one but I'm really enjoying the concept! There's just so many ideas to go with, and I want to write them all! Who knows how far it'll go haha.

Part 2

[therealvinelle]

What if during sometime in Twilight, Bella started morphing into a fly, like the doctor in the movie Fly?

... no particular reason, she just does, huh?

Woof.

For the sake of my sanity, we're placing this at the end of Twilight, Bella and Edward are a happy item and James is safely out of the picture.

Bella notices she has weird hairs growing out of her back, but she thinks nothing of it. It's just puberty being mortifying again.

Edward doesn't think anything of it either, Bella's just being delightfully human again.

And so what if she likes sugar a lot more now, the Cullens realise it's a bit much for her to dump eight sugar cubes into her tea but what do they know, Bella's the human with taste buds here. Edward also has to marvel at Bella doing laps up and down the stairs before she sleeps every night, but hey, it's great that she's being more sporty.

Her scent isn't as tantalizing as it's supposed to be, but Edward figures she must have caught some bug and will soon be back to normal.

I don't think anyone would realize anything was amiss until she starts getting aggressive, snapping at them over insignificant things and having a noticeably shorter temper.

Then there's the sex drive.

At first, she propositions Edward. He says no, and she... doesn't respect that.

He ends up having to leave, because Bella's getting angry and this is all very uncomfortable.

So she gives Mike Newton a call.

Edward... I imagine is at first heartbroken, then, not wanting to lose her, talks himself into forgiving her and becoming an even better boyfriend, because his other alternative is to dump her and then she won't be in his life anymore.

"Great," Bella says, "then we should have sex."

Edward, at this point, is reeling and the fact that Alice is having trouble seeing Bella isn't making it better. Nor is Bella's sudden, inexplicable strength.

Bella, at this point, begins losing her fingernails, and abruptly her confidence and great feeling about herself plummets as she realizes something is very wrong.

Edward, at this point, brings her to Carlisle for him to diagnose.

Carlisle's got nothing.

Over the coming few weeks, Bella continues to deteriorate, until they're at a point where she's vomiting digestive enzymes onto her food and climbing on walls.

Carlisle, seeing Bella's misery, makes her an offer he rarely resorts to. One prick of a needle, and her slow death won't be so slow.

Bella, too miserable and broken to even think about continuing, accepts, only to have Edward intervene.

He knows he can't live without her.

And there's one thing they haven't tried.

Would Edward have preferred she live and die a human, yes, but there is nothing human about this. And if venom can't fix her, nothing can.

Unfortunately, Bella isn't human anymore and all the venom does is give her a death even more painful than the one she was already slated for.

Bella dies in horrible agony.

[palmofafreezinghand]

Hi! Could you please do Carlisle and Esme number 41 "“You’re putting words in my mouth!” and 40 "That’s not what I meant and you know it!”" ". They're my drugs hahaha. thank u

thank you for the prompt, my apologies that this took me a bit, finals took me out for a bit. 

40. “That’s not what I meant and you know it!” & 41. “You’re putting words in my mouth!” 

cw: references to domestic abuse.

1929.

The slam of the car door rang through the calm night, the resounding clap of the front door against a jam followed quite quickly after, then their bedroom door, all before Carlisle even parked. He took his time following her, took extra care parking, diligently checked the car doors were locked, took off his overcoat with agonizing precision. By the time he reached their bedroom the anger was still palpable. She was hastily undoing her hair, the metal pins clattering to the vanity with a forceful clang. Her teeth grit as she spotted him in the mirror, a hair pin thrown to the vanity with enough force to dent the wood.

“I’m sorry, are you angry?” Carlisle smiled, attempting a tone that was light, unrevealing of his own frustration. “See I can’t deduce your feelings from your actions alone. I need you to tell me when you’re angry at me, rather than slamming things in an attempt to get a reaction.”

Esme rarely got angry, Carlisle didn’t know if this was due to the fact she was inherently opposed to the concept or taught not to show any emotion besides agreeable, but when she was… well, it was suffice to say she could get angry. Over the years, Carlisle had come to terms with the troubling traits preserved from a disastrous marriage that emerged in their more vicious of fights. He did his best to approach situations practically, to offer unconditional love and support, to prove she was safe even when he was angry with her. He had to remind himself tirelessly in these instances he was not fighting with Esme Cullen, but rather Esme Evenson, her defenses made perfect sense when he realized what she was expecting to have to defend herself from.

“I told you I couldn’t do it,” she glared.

“You say that every single time you leave the house,” Carlisle said pragmatically.

“But I told you I couldn’t do it. You didn’t listen.”

“I believed you could,” Carlisle shrugged softly, taking a seat at the foot of their bed.

“That’s not for you to decide,” she huffed, walking into their closet.

“Someone has to,” he muttered under his breath, regretting it the moment he said it.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She called from the other room.

He took a deep inhale. He couldn’t plainly say if it was left to her she would never leave the house and live in a tower like a recluse for the rest of eternity because of her own poorly founded fears. No, she’d see that as an attack.

“You are much harder on yourself than necessary, sometimes you need external encouragement,” he said.

“You don’t understand,” she huffed, reentering their bedroom, having changed into one of

“Why you won’t believe in yourself enough to try, you’re right I don’t understand.”

“You don’t think I’m trying,” she scoffed, but her tone had shifted drastically. They had moved on from rage to hurt, to self hatred so poignant it made her think anyone else loving her inconceivable. “You think I want to do that.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“You don’t think I believe in this. I’m just some heartless murderer to you.”

“You’re putting words in my mouth,” Carlisle sighed. Edward had been gone for two long years but his effects were profound.

Not once had Carlisle held judgement against her for her mistakes, because that’s what they were mistakes. He had fallen in love with her over the first victim. The utter grief she had over an act that she was unable to control, an unparalleled remorse. He knew dozens who killed without a second thought, he understood the choice they made and yet made different choices for himself. He had never expected others to follow, had never expected to meet, or create, two… one who believed in his choices so wholeheartedly. He mourned every single one of her victims, would change their fate in a second if he could, but never once did he hate her over their deaths.

“It’s what you’re thinking. It’s what you’ve always thought, isn’t it?”

“Esme.”

“That you need to guide and protect or else I’ll just be some uncontrollable monster, won’t I?”

“Esme,” Carlisle sighed, yet again, she was spinning herself into a self loathing break they had been through more than once.

“Some little thing you have to control-”

“That is not what I meant and you know it.” She knew that was the single accusation that could elicit a reaction.

“I told you I couldn’t do it and you decided I could,” she poked, knowing if she pulled this thread hard enough he would crumble and fight back. Her worst fears of him being Charles would come true if she just pushed him enough, if he only knew how horrendous she was.

“And you did. Did anyone get hurt tonight? No! You may have been uncomfortable but you did not hurt anyone,” Carlisle said, he could stand his ground but he wasn’t going to ‘fight.’

“Uncomfortable,” Esme scoffed. “You really don’t get it,” she frowned. There was the root of this, the well worn fight reared its head once more. Carlisle was unable to fully understand her struggles because he did not suffer through them himself, which was true. However, Esme believed he thought less of her because he did not understand said struggles, which was not true.

“Explain it for me,” Carlisle said softly, holding a hand out for her to join him. She stared at his hovering hand for a long moment, eventually taking it and letting him pull her to take a seat on the bed.

Her shoulders slumped as she searched for the words to explain it to him, her hands held in her lap, mindlessly picking at her frozen cuticles, her eyes fixed on the wall. “It’s painful. It’s physically painful, but I’m fine with that, I know I just have to get over that.”

“The best way to work through it, unfortunately, is exposure, my love.”

“No, that’s not the upsetting part,” Esme sighed.

“It’s justified to be upset by the pain,” he assured her, she only frowned.

“It makes me out of control. I’m not me when it gets bad, it’s like I have no choice, I don’t want to do it but I can’t not do it. It’s like I’m right back with him, but I’m not getting hurt, I’m the one hurting people and I can’t figure out how not to no matter how hard I try,” her voice cracked by the end of the revelation. Her hands raked through her hair, his arm wrapped around her shoulders, she let him pull her closer, tucking herself against his chest.

“I sound crazy,” she muttered into his sweater.

“You’re not crazy,” his fingers threaded through her hair, softly combing through it.

“This is pathetic.” He felt her wipe at her eyes, although the sight of her face was still obscured from his view.

“You’re not pathetic,” he assured her.

“You have no problem resisting.”

“I’ve been doing this for over two hundred and sixty years, sweetheart. It takes time.”

“And grace,” she parroted the encouragement he had used dozens of times over the years.

“Precisely. You have to give yourself a chance, and part of that chance is being honest about your feelings with your husband so he can help you.”

“You’re one to talk,” she muttered, but he could hint the smile in her voice.

“How about a compromise? I promise I will work harder to be understanding of your struggles.”

“And I’ll try harder.”

“To?”

She finally looked up at him. “Not kill people,” she said with the slightest of a smile.

“Well, that’s always good but I was actually looking for a slightly different answer,” he laughed softly, tucking an unruly curl behind her ear. 

“I’ll promise to be more open to going out, and be more open about my feelings as they happen. Which I feel like I have to promise a lot.”

Carlisle laughed, “you’re getting better. You weren’t afraid to be angry with me today.”

“I’m sorry,” she sighed, her head landing on his shoulder. He rested his head on top of hers.

They sat like that for a few minutes, quietly processing, until she broke the silence with a random laugh. Carlisle frowned, “What?”

“This was a fight. This was our definition of a fight,” she laughed.

He grinned, “would you like me to insult you to make this feel like more of a fight?”

“I’d appreciate that a lot actually.”

“You are a…” Carlisle attempted a glare, but knew he was failing by the grin on Esme’s face. “An absolutely…wonderful woman.”

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t successfully stifle her laughter. “You aren’t mad at me?”

“I shouldn’t have pressured you.”

“I shouldn’t have slammed the door.”

“Truce?” Carlisle asked, raising his pinky, she linked hers with a smile.

[anemeraldknight]

About Duke Cadash, part 2

okay so I know that this is supposed to be like an ask thing from here! butI only have like 3 followers on here, I just finished my second playthrough of Inquisition and I really really wanna talk about my Inquisitor :’)) so we’re doing this

what is your inquisitor’s name & race? - Duke Cadash, surface dwarf

what is their sexual orientation? - bisexual <3

what do they look like? (add screenshots, drawings, descriptions!) - he's a freckly ginger and has bright blue eyes, a very well groomed beard (he at least tries to redo the braids every morning), undercut on on the left side of his head but otherwise longish hair, scarring underneath his right eye and between his brows; he's like muscular and thick at the same time, I don't know a good word for it? but yea :) he's prettyy

how did they feel about being called “the herald of andraste”? - he uses it to his advantage. he doesn't outright deny it to people he doesn't really trust, only those closest to him know his real stance on it. he just takes being called the Herald in stride, doesn't hate it but isn't the biggest fan either

what are their religious beliefs, if they have any? - believes in the Stone because his parents had been cast out from Orzammar and they passed on their beliefs to him as well. he's not super into it though, more like a casual believer.

what is their opinion on the mage/templar war? - supports the mages and even though he can get along with templars if necessary, he often calls them out for their prejudices and bullshit. he believes that the war was inevitable and kind of necessary as well because in his eyes big change usually comes by, sadly, using harsher tactics.

who is your inquisitor’s best friend? - he was suuper close with Blackwall in the beginning because their humor was pretty similar, he was one of the first people he recruited on his own, and they're both pretty close in terms of age as well. however, as Duke grew closer to Dorian, they became best friends instead (and then eventually lovers). I'd say his real best friend is either Cassandra or Solas? because even though he disagrees with both of them quite a lot, they still somehow manage to get on pretty well <33 and they both have been there from the very beginning of this entire journey!! so it makes sense :) also, Duke is suuuuuper loyal, so when he found out about Blackwall :)) he fucking flipped and completely shunned him and never again took him into his party.

who is their rival? - uhhh among the companions? I don't think he really has one...

who is their love interest, if they chose one? do you ship them with anyone else/non-romanceable options? - DORIAN!! <333

warrior, rogue, or mage? - rogue, archer

how do they feel about the dalish? - he feels for them and wants to support them and work together as much as possible. he can see that a lot of them seem arrogant and standoffish on the outside, but he gets why that is, so he just lets them be and tries to work with it.

how do they feel about the qun? - he does not like the qun, to him it seems like a cult. he can also see many similarities between it and the chantry so.

how do they feel about the chantry? - he doesn't like the chantry BUT he does not shun them out loud because he knows that having them support him makes him look good to those who believe in Andraste and such, but also he doesn't wanna take away hope from those who find it in him during such a difficult time (even though he doesn't believe he's chosen in any way)

which demon is most frightening to them? - definitely the nightmare. Duke doesn’t get rattled very easily but that whole thing managed to get underneath his skin. plus! he’s incredibly scared of spiders and the nightmare created to many of them to freak him out, so the entire fade thingy was very hard on my poor Master Cadash :((

did they choose the qun or the chargers in iron bull’s personal quest? why? - the chargers. he didn’t trust the whole thing from the beginning and basically went along with it because he wanted to support the Iron Bull and because he could feel that something fishy was going on. also, even before the whole thing Duke got along with Krem really well, because he has this habit of taking younger people under his wing (exhibit A: Cole) so that’s also what kinda happened with Krem. ALSO! another thing is that Duke id very much against sacrificing lives in order to get something, so even if he hadn’t cared about any of the chargers personally, it would’ve just went against everything he stood for.

when are they the happiest? - when he's exploring the wilderness with his party, probably picking elfroot or iron lol

how do they feel about the mark/the anchor? - it doesn’t really cause him very much pain so he sees it mostly as something  that’s just there and helps him deal with this whole mess.

upon first meeting cole, were they afraid of him? - not really? he could tell that he was different but Thedas is full of so much surreal and nonsensical shit that this kid who acts a bit outside of the established rules of the society didn't really faze him. when he first met Cole during the attack on Haven, his first reaction was that “why is this young kid out here??? get him to safety!!!!” but yknow in a way where he could still see that Cole was perfectly capable of pulling his own weight, Duke just worries.

did they use the templars or the mages to close the breach? - mages

what was their court approval like at the winter palace? did they have any fun at all? - the only things that Duke liked during the whole charade was seeing Josephine and Leliana enjoying the whole thing AND getting to dance with Dorian. he got 100 court approval but he hated that everybody kept shitting on him for being a dwarf etc. also dealing with Gaspard, Celene, and Breala was frecking frustrating.

someone is encroaching on their love interest. how do they respond? - idk how to answer this. he knows that Dorian can handle himself but if the situation requires his help then he will get supper angry and protective

what is their favourite weapon? - Duke’s Bayard!! :D this really great bow that he got made

are there any creatures in the wild that they refuse to/are reluctant to kill? why? - nugs because to him they look like a rabbit and an old wrinkly man merged into one. so yea, no. he also doesn’t like killing dragons. the only proper dragon he and his party ever killed was the big one in the hinterlands but Duke didn't feel right about it afterwards so he never went after another again

what is their opinion on blood magic? would they ever use it, if given the chance? - to him blood magic is just a type of magic really but I don't think he'd use it if he were able to

what is their favourite place within playable regions? - interestingly, the hinterlands. it's because he grew up in fereldan is used to that kind of nature

did they feel suspicious of dorian upon first meeting him, because of his tevinter heritage? - a bit, yes, but it quickly faded

as a whole, how do they feel about tevinter + the imperium? - he hates the whole slavery business that they've got going on over there but Dorian manages to convince him that the imperium could be changed so he has hope for it. he doesn't blindly hate every vint he meets.

did they encourage cullen to continue taking lyrium, or to stop? for what reasons? - to stop because even though he’s not very close to Cullen and he has his issues with him, he didn't want him to be dependent of lyrium in order to work to the best of his abilities. because Cullen is in charge of such a huge part of the Inquisition, he needs him to be dependable

does it bother them to sleep in tents when on the road with the inquisition? - nope! Duke loves tracking and yknow finding and looking for stuff out in the wilds so he’s used to that sort of thing since he grew up in a naturey place. he had to spend a lot of nights in similar situations while he was part of the Carta too

are they an optimist, a pessimist, or neutral? - i guess something between an optimist and a neutral? I guess you could call him an optimistic realist. he rarely veers towards pessimism

if varric wrote a book about your inquisitor, how would they feel about that? - he would actively encourage it because it would be fucking hilarious to read

do they get along with vivienne? - nope, he doesn’t even recruit her.

are they afraid of anything specifically? - spiders

what was their reaction to the destruction of haven?

how do they feel about “the game”? - a bunch of nugcrap

are they especially protective of certain inquisition members, even those capable of defending themselves? - even though he knows that all three of them can take care of themselves and he trusts them to do so, he still worries about them the most. Cole, Krem , and scout Harding.

do they like their skyhold pajamas? - he hates the pajamas. but the outfits that he usually wears look superrr fly so he doesn’t mind those one bit

are there any insults they find to be especially offensive? (i.e. “knife ear”/”rabbit” for elves, “oxmen” for qunari, ect.) - I am not sure what insults a dwarf would get in terms of specific words. the fact that people keep making comments about the Inquisitor surprisingly being a dwarf does annoy him though

if varric gave them a nickname, what would it be? - either cherry because of his red hair OR the Archduke :P

do they enjoy being the inquisitor? - yes!! at the beginning, he's more wary of it, which of course makes sense, but even then he's just ready to take on the role of the leader because no one else will do it and he does have the mark so it makes sense for him to do it. as time moves on he grows to really like it! he makes a great leader and he knows it.