#they're sick for making us play as him (complimentary)

[pistashxo]

they should invent a corporate negligence that doesn't whisper things to you

[clavissionary-position]

"Please... fit... Come on..." A muffled grunt sounds through the bedroom wall.

The flock of residents piled against Jean's door exchange looks ranging from disbelief to sly smirks as they eavesdrop on the scandalizing events happening on the other side.

J E A N ⨉ R E A D E R

a morning affair ☆

. . . . . content warning: smut...? voyeurism? or are things as they seem? hehehe (also Shakespeare makes a comment that low-key implies non-con, but there's nothing non-con happening here, I promise) m a s t e r l i s t

╂ ╂ ◆ 18+ blog, minors dni. I don't respond to ageless blogs

"Is that really our Jean?" asks one of the residents.

"Don't go crying on us, Chief," adds another. "How do you think he made a baby?"

"Have you men no sense of propriety? We are listening in on Jean making-"

An amused chuckle cuts him off. "There's no honor among men for all men are children." Rustle of sleeves. "Popcorn, anyone?"

"Yes, please. May I have some to give to Theo too?"

"Of course, young man. Have some complimentary syrup as well."

"Ssshh! Everyone keep your voices down!"

"He's right." Pen scribbling noises. "I require absolute silence to record this moment."

"Wait, 'record'...?"

Another forceful grunt comes from the other side of the door.

"...you know, I don't hear any bed-springs..."

"Maybe they're doing it on his desk?"

"That would make a considerable bit of noise too, I think...?"

"B...Broer, how do you know of such things?!?"

"Jean's always been quiet, so I can't say I'm surprised..."

"Tis an art of finery indeed, for such skill is as the assassin plays his knife into his mark with naught but the blade and the hole to bear witness."

"What?"

"Jean's stealth-fucking."

Several of the men giggle.

"I doubt they've even started. This is stupid. I'm leaving."

"FIT, DARN YOU!"

That same resident slaps his ear back against the door.

The man beside him gasps. "My Gods, how big is he?"

"How big is who?" You ask as you walk up behind the group.

"Why hello little bird, we're just listening to..." The resident pales. "Wait, if you're here, then..." He taps a gloved finger against the door. "Who's in there?"

"Infidelity!" another resident gasps.

"And so soon in their relationship!"

"What do you mean 'so soon'?"

An indignant huff. "Jean isn't like that. He would never."

"Then have we just been sitting here listening to him masturbate this entire time?"

"Fiiiiiiiiiiit!"

"...attempted masturbation."

The more you listen to these guys the more confused you get. You frown as you weave through the tightly and ridiculously clustered group of men.

Jean's door opens just as you go to knock.

"Oh!" Jean smiles with unbridled joy when he sees you. "I was actually just coming to find you. Could you help me?"

Jean holds up your infant daughter who sports a lop-sided knitted-hat that seems a little too small for her head.

The collective silence resounding from the group of residents is palpable, sliceable, edible, even.

Jean finally notices everyone else. His pretty lips curve downward. "Has something happened?"

You look over your shoulder at the panoply of men trying to salvage what dignity they have left.

"Why are all of you coughing?" Jean asks. "Are you ill?" He twists his body to shield the gurgling child from the residents.

You break the tension with your melodic laughter. You feel everyone's eyes on you at once. Ignoring all of them save for Jean in front of you, you reach for your daughter, gently taking her into your arms.

Your husband, presumably still worried about possible sickness, looks wary.

You give him a tender peck on the cheek to reassure him. "I'll tell you about it later. Let's find her a different hat, shall we?"

[shorkbrian]

It's Kiri's birthday today and all I can think about is him going to town on his kidnapped darling (because it's his birthday right? and you're the only gift he wants) ooh or he buys a bunch of toys as gifts to himself, but really they're just for him to use on you later! (Not a request I'm just thirsty as hell)

LISTEN

oh my gosh

yes he would ABSOLUTELY use the fact that it’s his birthday to his advantage. 

Knocks on the door while you're showering and tells you that he already set out clothes for you on the bed, he’s gonna be waiting in the living room for you and then you two can have breakfast. You don’t mind him choosing your outfits anymore, usually it’s something simple -  one of his old t-shirts, a cutesy skirt and top, tiny shorts and a bralette.

But you get out of the shower and there’s lacy lingerie on the bed. You huff and instead choose to throw on some shorts and one of his old t-shirts.

Kiri uses those big ‘ole puppy eyes when you come out, obviously disappointed and irritated that you aren’t wearing what he laid out for you. Asks you to wear it for him, please? it’s his birthday! 

When you refuse again, his tone sharpens, eyes narrowing. Threatens punishment if you disobey, tells you to turn around and march your cute little butt back into the bedroom and put on the damn outfit.

You do as he asks.

OR hohoho

You groggily waking up tied to a chair in a dark room, gagged and bound. You can’t move, but you can hear people talking outside the door. When you start screaming for help, the noises pause, before continuing. One voice is louder and obviously more excited that the other voice as the noises get closer.

The door swings open and it’s Bakugou, your coworker. Standing next to him is his best friend, the man that always stops by and goofs off with Bakugou, Kirishima.

Bakugou has this triumphant little smirk on his face, immediately folding his arms across his chest as he watches Kiri. The big redhead’s jaw has dropped to the ground, eyes wider than the moon, frozen in surprise. 

Then he’s moving towards you quickly, reeling back and coming at your slower when he sees you startle. You think he’s gonna untie you, pull down the gag and rescue you - you don’t even know what's going on, but Bakugou’s your coworker, of course the two are here to rescue you!

But Kirishima just runs his hands over your shoulders, touches your face softly, feels you legs and lets his palms rest on your thighs. 

He asks Bakugou if you’re for him.

Bakugou confirms, you’re Kiri’s birthday gift, Happy birthday.

OR hehehe

Kirishima’s waking you up early in the morning, all bright and excited. You’ve been good lately, and he wants today to be nice, wanna go shopping?

Of course there are rules - don’t talk to anyone, don’t look at anyone, don’t try to leave his side, don’t try to get help - obey, or else.

But it’s the first time you’ve been allowed outside of the house in weeks. You agree to play by his rules.

He takes you to the mall, guides you around the stores, lets you pick out a couple things. The two of you get ice cream, hold hands while you walk around eating it. Kiri says you have a little bit on your chin, and uses that excuse to lick up from your chin and into your mouth, a disgusting display of PDA.

Normal couples things.

Kiri takes you to an, ahem, adult shop.

Tells you that if anything catches your interest, you have to tell him, ‘kay? You just feel sick, keep your head down as you walk behind him, holding his hand like a shy child.

He just chuckles and makes you watch as he picks out toys, asks the assistant about sizes and colors and if a certain toy would be pleasurable for both of you or not.

It’s mentioned while he’s checking out that today is his birthday, and he gets a few complimentary toys thrown in the bag.

When the two of you get home, Kiri forces you down. 

You got to have your fun, got to go out and see the world and let other people look at you, he even bought you ice cream! Now be a good girl and let him test out allll the new toys on you, see which ones make you writhe the most.

Ninety percent of the toys are dual-stimulators, meaning he can feel good while you do too. Flavored lubes, vibrating cock rings (he totally would buy a rabbit ear cock ring you can’t tell me he wouldn’t), butterfly vibrators, warming gels, nipple clamps, condoms with bumps and ridges and raised swirls, even a double dildo. 

It’s intimidating, and you’re warned against trying to tell Kiri to stop.

You’ll take what he gives you, it’s his birthday after all, and he wants to enjoy his gift(s).

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I got this ask RIGHT after I posted my lazy, hurried drabble about Kiri’s birthday. I wanted to post something for his birthday but couldn’t decide what to write and I spent so long debating that I didn’t have time to write an actual fic. RIP.

I went for a walk with my doggo (she's so cute she literally bounces over to the leash when it’s walk time) and stewed about this ask the ENTIRE time just unfh there's so much versatility with Kiri he is my MAN ty for this ask and fueling my horn knee brian.

Happy birthday Kirishima if you were real I would give you a hug and like some warm pumpkin bread, you deserve it bby