#they're both grownups now

[megaclubdiolis]

I remembered that you do not like to get angry, Saburo. | 11 // 27

[steddie-island]

Long Haul

Written for day 2 of @stevieweek | Companion piece to Wallpaper Rating: G | WC: 1,150 | Tags: Eddie Munson POV, Coming out, MTF Steve Harrington ao3 | Divider credit

If Steve and Robin both have to be there to break this big news to Eddie he knows it must be something really bad.

That's how it always goes, bad news. He's told to sit down and listen while the grownups talk at him. Not to him, no, he didn't get anyone actually trying to talk to him until Wayne.

Still, Eddie tries not to look like he's ready to throw up while Steve and Robin stand in front of the couch. The way their hands are clasped together, and with how straight and tense they're standing, Eddie can't help but think of the fucked up twins from The Shining.

The thought makes him laugh, but the laughter only heightens his anxiety– which is then heightened even more when Robin shoots a Look at him that he can't quite figure out.

"Stevie… sweetheart, I can't read your mind. If this is bad news, I'd really rather you just tell me." Eddie shifts uncomfortably. The fingers of his right hand fidget with one of the rings on his left, spinning it around and around. "I can take it, whatever it is."

The look Steve gives Robin drops a bowling ball right into the center of Eddie's chest. Steve has tears in his eyes, and he's shaking, and fuck . This is very fucking bad.

Eddie wracks his brain, tries to think back on what he said or did. Maybe there was something he didn't do that he was supposed to do and now Steve is dumping him over it. Really, it was only a matter of time. Steve is good, so fucking good, and Eddie never deserved him in the first place.

And of course Robin's going to be here for it, because Steve dumping him as a boyfriend means Robin is dumping him as a friend. They're a package deal, you don't get one without the other.

"Eddie!" Robin's voice breaks through his mental spiraling.

Eddie clears his throat, drops his hands between his knees again and looks at the two of them. "Sorry. Sorry, yes. I'm here."

"Did you hear… any of that?" Robin asks.

Eddie flushes, opens his mouth, digs for anything that one of them might have said.

Steve takes pity on him, and Eddie is graced with one of those patient smiles. It’s that soft smile that got him through the hell that was physical therapy. "We're making him nervous, Rob."

"You're nervous, too," Robin reminds him. Still, she gives Steve's hand a squeeze before stepping to the side. It's one on one instead of two on one, which does help the knot in Eddie's chest loosen a bit.

"I can take it, Stevie," Eddie says with a small smile. "Whatever it is, just… lay it on me."

Steve glances at Robin, then back at Eddie. His hands have that fine tremor to them again, so he wraps his arms around himself and tucks his fists against his sides.

"I've been thinking… and I've talked to Rob, and… I don't… I'm not…" Steve stops, has to take a few slow breaths.

This is it, the death blow. The last glimpse of the sun before it gets snuffed out, removed from Eddie's life forever. Eddie wants to close his eyes so he doesn't have to watch, but if this is his last sunrise he doesn't want to miss a second of it, either.

"Eddie, I'm not… I'm not a boy." Steve shifts on his feet and swallows loud enough for Eddie to hear it. "I don't want to be a boy anymore. I think— no, I know I am — I'm a girl."

Eddie can only blink up at her while Steve explains it, explains lip gloss and nail polish and old girlfriends. She talks about how she's given this a lot of thought, really, and if Eddie doesn't want to be with her anymore she understands.

Eddie's listening, really he is, but the relief is so instantaneous that he can't help but start laughing, quietly at first and then louder.

Steve stops talking and looks at Eddie like he's lost his mind. "What? What is it?"

"No, no, baby, I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you." Eddie rubs both hands over his eyes, wiping away unshed tears. "I promise, this isn't about you." He reaches out for Steve's hand and pulls her around the coffee table to sit down on his lap.

"Why are you laughing?" Steve asks. The hurt in her eyes has Eddie sobering up immediately.

"I thought you were breaking up with me." Eddie brings a hand up to tuck Steve's hair behind her ear. "I thought that was why you brought the reinforcements. Maybe you were afraid I would lose the rest of my mind or somethin'."

"What?" Steve shakes her head and touches the jagged scar on Eddie’s jaw. "Why would I be breaking up with you? I love you, Eddie."

Eddie catches Steve's hand, pulls it to his lips to kiss over her knuckles. "Because you're the best person on the goddamn planet, and I don't deserve you."

"Eddie—"

"I'm serious, Stevie." Eddie wraps an arm around her waist to pull her that much closer. "You're amazing. You're smart— don't try to deny it, I've seen that beautiful brain of yours in action." He gently, so fucking gently, taps in the middle of her forehead to emphasize his point. "You're funny, you're so goddamn brave. You have the biggest heart in the world." He cups Steve's cheek, and she leans into the touch. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I still can't believe how lucky I am."

Steve's lower lip trembles just a little, and Eddie can't help but brush his thumb over it. "Even now?" she asks. Eddie hates the uncertainty in her voice. Steve Harrington isn't ever uncertain, unless it's about D&D or Lord of the Rings or some other nerdy shit that the kids try to throw at her.

"Are you kidding?" Eddie brings his other hand up, to hold her face between his palms. "Yesterday morning I woke up with the most gorgeous guy in Hawkins in my bed, and tonight I get to go to sleep with the most beautiful girl. That's… amazing ." He shakes his head and brings their foreheads together. "I love you, Stevie. No matter what you do, no matter what you change, I'm in it for the long haul. You're it for me, baby."

"Fucking sap," Steve says wetly, but she's smiling when she says it, when she leans in to kiss Eddie again.

It's a kiss full of love and hope, that speaks of a future that stretches out in front of them, just waiting for them to decide what they want to do with it.

It's a kiss that has Robin murmuring "Dinguses" under her breath before sneaking out the front door to give them privacy.

[homunculus-argument]

The reason why teenagers are scary is the infinite potential for chaos - they're grownup-sized but lack both the brain capacity for impulse control and to fully consider any potential consequences of whatever they think of doing, and the life experience to even make educated guesses of what could happen if they do whatever it was that just popped into their heads. Like I don't think they're monsters and most of them are mostly harmless, but it's like with unfamilair dogs - you just never know.

This one time I was sitting at a local mall waiting for my friends, sitting on one of the benches quietly on my phone to kill time. A flock of teenagers drifted in and settled down to the seats next to mine, I ignored them and they ignored me as strangers do in public. They were getting somewhat rowdy but that wasn't my place, they're not my kids and it's not like other peoples' kids listen to me anyway if I tried to tell them to behave.

Anyway the security showed up to inform them that it's about time for them to cut that shit out and leave the premises, which they sensibly agreed to do after remarkably minimal protest. Having observed the scene from the corner of my eye while pretending to focus on my phone, I realised that while the kids left, the security guy remained right there. Looking up, I realised that he was staring at me, expectantly.

I was just about to start explaining to the guard that I was not with those guys, as one of the boys in the receeding flock - already leaving, but still well enough within earshot to overhear me, apparently - paused for a moment and turned, calling out to me: "hey [generic gen Z name], you coming or what?" and the rest of the gang, seeing what he did there, burst into laughter. They didn't even break their stride, just did that casually in passing.

The guard turned back to me, saying nothing. he just stared at me with the full expression of a man who doesn't get paid enough to listen to explanations nor give a shit about distinguishing between the two. Using my mostly fully developed adult brain to contemplate my chances, I decided that if it wasn't already so before, then it would certainly now be a futile effort to start explaining to him that not only had I never met those kids in my life, that's not my name, I am twenty-four, and I have no idea whatsoever why that kid randomly decided to do that.

So I packed my dignity along with my other stuff back to my backpack and left for the library to wait for my friends there.

Kids that age aren't evil or necessarily even actively malicious. Most of them grow up to be perfectly well-adjusted, sensible people. The problem is that they're just clever enough to spot an opportunity to go "hey fuck this random stranger's day, too", and not hesitate for a heartbeat before proceeding to do so.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 有翡/Legend of Fei.

Legend of Fei is a 2020 adaptation of priest's webnovel Bandits that tells the story of a competent yet sheltered young swordswoman, the terrible gremlin boy who decides they're married now, and their various friends as they venture into the jianghu to acquire the legendary MacGuffin that will do ... uh, something, probably.

This show is a delight. It is pure goofy, tender-hearted sincerity. It has so many precious baby angels with adorably pinchable cheeks performing so many fetch quests in so many styrofoam dungeons. It is funny on purpose and funny on accident. It is 51 episodes of rollicking, slapdash, green-screened adventure.

I am trying real hard here not to bite on @agendratum's wonderful rec post for the series, which includes the words "discount word of honor with teens," a phrase that lives rent-free in my head. Go look at their work for a more detailed character guide. What I have here are a mere five reasons above and beyond said post that you should watch this darling little show.

1. All the production values of a sixth-grade class play

This show flopped pretty hard, and I can understand why. It was a highly anticipated drama with two big-name headliners. Fans expected a lot from it! And what they got is something that looks and feels like a mid-budget syndicated UPN show from 1993, complete with how all the high-schoolers are played by actors in their thirties.

This show is comically janky and earnest. Stunt people fall down before they're hit. Breakaway furniture abounds. Actors bounce gently off "stone" walls. Damn near everything was filmed on sound stages with greenscreens. (Filming ran from September 2019-January 2020, stopped for pandemic reasons, and finished March-April 2020. While this certainly is not the only cause of the show's jankiness, it definitely contributed.)

This it not a show with no money; this is a show with an appropriate amount of money spent poorly.

The flow and pacing of the story are as smooth as a car crash. So many times, a scene with Characters A and B will be happening, the show will cut (sharply) away to a different storyline, and by the time it jumps back, Character A is in a completely different location and Character B has departed. When did that happen? Why did that happen? Where are we now? No time to ask questions! Establishing shots are for weenies! This director knows filmmakers who maintain narrative continuity, and they're all cowards.

Speaking of the narrative: I've seen Saturday morning cartoons from the '80s with more depth. I would be hard-pressed to explain what exactly is happening that's driving the plot. There's big business with a deposed emperor and a forever war happening on some distant front and disgruntled veterans of the army that's fighting it ... but, like, it doesn't matter? All those machinations are barely relevant to the plot at hand, which can be summed up thus: Bad Guys want Thing, Good Guys go on adventures to stop them from getting Thing.

And I am listing all this messiness as a selling point -- as the show's primary selling point, in fact -- because I think it's all charming as heck. This show is plain, unpretentious fun. It's a downright romp! It's got a very teenager's-eye-view of the inscrutable situation driving the whole plot, which does a good job of drawing attention to how maaaaybe this whole situation is bullshit and the grownups should stop killing themselves and other people because of it.

Here's a good metric: If the Ye Olde Haixing parts of Guardian warmed your heart, you are in exactly the right frame of mind for this.

There's no way to tell how much of this campy, underfunded aesthetic was intentional, and how much was the result of both poor budgeting and way too many cooks in the production and screenwriting kitchens. I'm not going to say this was a labor of love, because it was at best a labor of like. Everybody onscreen is giving it their all, but no one's giving the same all as anyone else. Go into it expecting that and nothing more, and you'll have a great time.

2. Punching the Bechdel Test into next week

Are you someone who loves c-dramas, except for the part where you're like, gee, I sure wish there were some girls in this? Oh, my friend, there are so many girls in this.

I actually kept being stunned while watching it by just how many girls are in it. Old girls! Young girls! Evil girls! Nice girls! Rich girls! Poor girls! Strong girls! Weak girls! Just a whole lot of girls!

Truly, it's not just how many female characters there are, but the sheer variety of them. The main octet includes an awkward tomboy who can kick your ass, a spunky brat who's not above crocodile tears to get what she wants, and a soft femme who's a brave little toaster despite having zero martial arts skills. The show absolutely loves them all and thinks they've all got important things to contribute, no matter how hard they can or can't punch.

And that's before we get into how many female side characters there are, both heroes and villains. I've seen that some people hate on these side characters. Those people are wrong.

Maybe the best part is how much they interact. There are many scenes with multiple female characters in them, sometimes with male characters too, and sometimes just the girls. Because this is a jianghu story with martial artists, several of the female characters have unique skills that they pass on to other, younger female characters. Women are often the honored masters of things who have competent all-ladies support staff. And there's no sense that they wash out after a certain age -- even the grannies can still school you as needs be.

...Of course, the sad thing is, I'm touting all this ladyfolk representation when maybe 20% of the total listed cast is female (doing quick math from the MyDramaList cast page). Pound for pound, the Untamed's listed cast has a (slightly) greater female:male ratio, and nobody would call that a girl-forward show. It just makes a difference when what female characters you have, you push toward the front of the narrative and give them reasons to have relationships with one another, instead of making them occasional props in the background while real (read: male) people get to be people.

The entire reason the Bechdel-Wallace Test exists is not to praise or condemn any individual piece of media, but to comment on larger trends in the depiction of women in fiction. It's not a problem when one thing doesn't pass the test; it's a problem when nothing passes the test, or when the things that do pass skate by on single moments and technicalities. The more things that fail its three criteria, the more that indicates the prevalence of an attitude that regards women only as accessories to men's stories.

Legend of Fei is aware that not only do women have inner lives, but they relate to one another in very specific, culturally informed ways. The female characters in this are not just male characters with incidental she/her pronouns. Zhou Fei not only gets to be the protagonist who goes on the whole hero's journey of growth and change, but along the way she also gets to have some complicated interactions with her own gender and how much expected modes of femininity do and don't suit her. But it's also not because she's Not Like The Other Girls! It doesn't make her better or worse to be that way. It just makes her more like her mom -- and if there's one thing I know that makes a teenage girl break out into a cold sweat, it's the idea that she's anything like her mom.

This little drama is hardly some revolutionary piece of thought-provoking feminist insight, or anything like that. It's just that if you're feeling the lack of ladies in your c-dramas and wish to see girls on film (as it were), Legend of Fei may be what you're looking for!

3. Chaotic bisexual (asexual?) extravaganza!

priest's work is queer as fuck, and while this story itself does not rise to the level of being textually gay, there's still a great big rainbow flag flying over the whole business. You can rest assured that when two dudes or two ladies are giving one another meaningful looks, it is not an accident. We all know who's writing this.

Do you like relationship charts? Because I've got a doozy for you:

How many of these are me making jokes? Way fewer than you think.

There are of course some actual canon couples in there, and the amount of real estate they take up in the narrative means your affection for them will make or break your affection for the show. Fortunately, all the teen pairings are super-cute!

Zhou Fei embodies the bisexual stereotype of liking all the ladies and maybe one dude. Xie Yun falls so hard and fast for this beautiful butch-by-local-standards that his head spins. Together, they are the romantic backbone of the story, and they are just a treat.

I've seen people say these two have no chemistry, and I think that's bullshit, but okay, let's assume that's your read on it. You can still understand why they like one another, beyond your standard, he's a boy, she's a girl, what more do you want? Zhou Fei likes Xie Yun because he's funny, emotionally available, and socially unacceptable. Xie Yun likes Zhou Fei because she's fierce on the outside and warm on the inside. Sure, they're in love, but what's more important is that they're good partners and great friends.

(I think it helps that even though the characters are supposed to be around the same age, Zhao Yiling is literally a decade older than Yibito is, and he clearly thinks even off-camera that she's dreamy.)

Also, it's great when he helps her sheathe her sword. This is a couple that's going to take about three whole minutes to figure out pegging.

Li Sheng and Wu Chuchu are the normie couple. He is big strong boy-man! She is small helpless lady-girl! ...Except no, this is yet another case of a wife guy who thinks his girlfriend's strengths are awesome; it's just that in this case, her strengths are her brains.

The fact that her attack and defense scores are nearly zero does not keep Chuchu from being the most competent person in any given room. She starts out as the girl who's important because she's got an important dad and an important key item, but she winds up being basically Jianghu GameFAQs. She never stops being soft and pink and feminine and tender, and she never learns to fight worth a damn, and none of that keeps her from being a vital (if unfortunately kidnappable) part of the team!

Meanwhile, Li Sheng is never really a male chauvinist, because he's grown up under his aunt, who kicks so much ass. But he is a bit of a cocky teen-boy turdface who needs to get knocked down a few pegs. It's great, then, that the show pairs him with the kind of helpless femme that he's supposed to want, then has him decide the fact that she's miles smarter than he is is the best.

And then there's these dipshits.

Normally in c-dramas, I'm used to triangles that are a strong canonical line between the main guy and his girlfriend, a strong but unacknowledged line between the main guy and his best friend, and maybe a faint dotty wisp between the girlfriend and best friend. Not so here! Ying Hecong, Li Yang, and Yang Jin (L-R above) are a damn near equilateral triangle. I mean, okay, technically they're set up as a more conventional love triangle, where both boys like the same girl, and she does sort-of choose one of them in the end. But in that arrangement, you'd expect the boys to become rivals -- and they never are. In fact, they become special allies who trust and take care of one another more than they do anyone else.

They're a great weird trio. Ying Hecong is a poorly socialized weirdo whose special interests are poisons and befriending snakes. Yang Jin is the chief of Doctor Village, a position that he got not by being a doctor, but by being a dumb jock who didn't realize fast enough why nobody else wanted the job. And Li Yang is the spoiled little sister of Li Shen and cousin of Zhou Fei, prone to getting what she wants by pitching a damn fit about it, who has decided that both of these boys are hers now and she can do whatever she wants with them.

(Li Yan is actually the most Actually A Teen of all the characters, and is the one who makes me wish so much that more of the cast had been played by actual age-appropriate actors. Some character traits are adorably tolerable when someone's twelve and verge on really fucking annoying by the time that same person is twenty-five.)

If you are into OT3s where two partners have to join in solidarity with one another so they can survive their third, you've found your pot of gold. Each one of them is enough of a catastrophe that they need two whole love interests to manage them. Between the three of them, they almost make one well-functioning human being.

Now: A thing to note about all these relationships, and one thing that may be surprising to you about something adapted from a priest novel, is that this show is negative horny. All of the romance is extremely chaste. At no point does any grownup worry that leaving these teens alone with one another will lead to some hanky-panky. Nobody ever volunteers to chaperone, or seems to need one. The adults aren't particularly horny about one another either! This is the kind of universe where people blush while tenderly embracing, then go to pick their baby up from the local cabbage patch.

Even my jokes about Zhou Fei's fuckable grandpa are just jokes, because nobody actually wants to fuck him. They all want to duel him, or to fuss over his health, or to follow him around and bask in his nobility. He has two kids, but we never meet their mom(s?). He deflects the obvious interest of multiple beautiful women with ease. He is the perfect man, both fuckable and unfuckable at once.

This may be what's having people read the main pair as having no chemistry. They have a lot of chemistry! It's just not a particularly sexual chemistry. It's extremely tender and playful, and there's plenty of physical intimacy. But it's not horny.

And that's not on the two actors. I've seen both of them look at someone else like they wanted to eat that boy alive. That was a choice this show made, to play all the romance about as spicy as when the puppets on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood hold hands. The only hints of horniness are in the fighting/injured bits, because sex is a big no-no, but nice polite violence is always okay! (Hey, uh, culture? We need to have a talk about this.)

4. The Grownups

As you may have gathered, most of this show is about the younguns. But a great deal of the supporting weight is carried by characters who are supposed to be of their parents' generation (even if most of their actors are only a decade or so older than the "teens").

I cannot fully in this post detail my great affection for every adult character; I wouldn't have room for anything else. So here's my top-three shortlist of the most memorable old folks.

If you like your ladies badass and crazy, Duan Jiuniang is here for you. Her grip on reality is ... well, it's complicated, but it doesn't stop her from being able to roast you from the inside out with her special skill. She's a terrible teacher and an even worse step-grandma who's made a lot of life choices that weren't what she wanted, but were what she needed to do to survive. I have no idea where she got those hideous leggings, but I kind of want a pair. She doesn't stick around past her one arc, so enjoy her while you've got her.

Speaking of crazy, the Phoenix, Mu Xiaoqiao, is a beautiful, tragic, genderqueer, completely insane middle-aged drama queen with a pipa to play and an ax to grind. I would watch an entire hundred-episode drama just about his campy antics. Hands-down my favorite character in the show. I'm not even going to say anything more. This bitch must be experienced. Love you, baby.

This fucking DILF. Holy shit. Shen Tianshu has a chocolatey voice and the world's most inconvenient prosthetic hand. At first his facial hair seems excessive, but then you see him without it in flashbacks and you're like, no! put it back! put it back! Frankly, I'm glad for the tufty brows, because this man does so much eyebrow acting, and you wouldn't want to miss a sinister moment of it.

And he's not the only one! Every single villain is running with full Bad Guy From A Power Rangers Episode vibes. No piece of scenery remains unchewed. They're what make this whole thing feel like you're watching a stage play. Every arched brow, every expansive hand gesture, every maniacal laugh, all of it plays to the nonexistent back row. (In fact, one of them -- Eyepatch Guy -- was so over the top that we had to look up his whole deal. Shockers, he's got an opera background.) If you have affection for the points I discussed in selling point #1, you will have love extra for the adult antagonists.

If you've ever watched a show made for a young audience starring young actors, you know exactly the grownup vibe I'm talking about. No, real adults don't act like this. But these are not real adults -- they are adults seen through the lens of a YA narrative, where everyone has big emotions and ultimately pretty simple motivations. Violence is acceptable but sex is not, and sexualized violence is especially not. You can threaten the kids but you (mostly) can't kill them. Parents should be removed from the main storyline, by death if necessary (offscreen preferred). By the end of the story, all adults must defer to the wisdom and battle strategies of the kids or be ready to be taken down by them. The lessons of age and experience are ultimately only useful once handed to the next generation.

Which is fine! ...provided it's the vibe you're expecting. I'd put this as another item in the list of probable reasons that this show did not go over as well as it should have.

5. We use every part of the Wang Yibo

Okay, so if you're like me, your introduction to this beautiful man was the Untamed, where 95% of his job is to keep every one of his facial muscles from doing anything -- and, if you're like me, you then watched some Untamed behind-the-scenes stuff and went, holy shit, this boy can make expressions?

This boy can make so many expressions.

I'm not going to argue that Wang Yibo was necessarily miscast as Lan Wangji, because that's not a fight I'm interested in having with internet strangers. I do, however, think it's undeniable that the Untamed misused him by all but ignoring his two primary skills: his giant goofy smile, and his being a dancer.

Legend of Fei makes use of both of these to great effect. Xie Yun is a gremlin who can't fight but can dodge. The show loves to leave the camera on him and let him spin and duck his way out of battles with his own mischievous grace. Wang Yibo does a remarkable amount of his own flipping and fighting, with and without wires. In a world of stunt doubles and smash cuts, it's a delight to watch.

My favorite thing about Xie Yun is that he likes that girl so much. He looks at her like she's the best thing in the world. He is her biggest hype man. He's all wife guy. Every time she's stronger and butcher and meaner than he is, he's pulling out his pompoms and cheering her on. He is in no way emasculated by the fact that she kicks so much more ass than he does. He is actually her wife, and he knows it. Kick their asses, baby, he'll be your flower.

Wang Yibo sells that devotion with each look in her direction. He brings every piece of his inherent chaotic good energy to the role. He's a comedic scamp right up to the point where he rips your heart out. If you are at all a Yibito fan, you owe it to yourself to get this show in front of your eyeballs so you can see what trouble that precious baby boy has gotten himself into this time.

Bonus: Do you like Word of Honor? Because this is how you get Word of Honor.

So I'm betting a lot of you did what I did, which was that you watched Word of Honor, and you loved it, so you went to read the book, and you were like, the fuck? Because Faraway Wanderers is also great, but uh, after a certain point, they're two very different stories.

While I cannot prove this, I would place a large amount of money on the screenwriter for Word of Honor's having been very aware of this production while doing the adaptation. See, in case you haven't read it, Faraway Wanderers itself barely spends a page of time with anything outside of what the main dads-and-kids quintet is doing, which makes for a fun danmei webnovel, but doesn't translate so well to live-action. I am almost certain that in the same way that they used frog DNA in Jurassic Park to fill in the gaps in the dinosaurs' code, this screenwriter (who is a priest fan) used Bandits/Legend of Fei to build out Faraway Wanderers' moments into a whole drama.

The timeline goes like this:

June 2010: priest publishes Qi Ye

October 2010: priest publishes Faraway Wanderers

November 2015: priest publishes Bandits

September 2019: Legend of Fei starts filming

June 2020: Word of Honor starts filming

December 2020: Legend of Fei airs

February 2021: Word of Honor airs

So yeah, it's not like the Word of Honor screenwriter could have watched Legend of Fei prior to penning the Word of Honor script. But there's too many similarities to be coincidence. To be clear, I'm not accusing the Word of Honor screenwriter of ripping off Legend of Fei. Watching it is more like seeing bits of Word of Honor's first draft. The Color of Ocean and Heaven and its five tokens become the World's Armory and the Glazed Armor. Wu Chuchu becomes Gao Xiaolian. Mu Xiaoqiao becomes the drama version of Xie Wang. All the nonsense with Yu Wenzhi and the Demons becomes all the nonsense with Zhao Jing and the Scorpions. Someone with more time than I have could probably make a thorough accounting of the number of times scenes with Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu visually parallel moments Xie Yun and Zhou Fei have, and how often those scenes were in bits not related to the original Faraway Wanderers plot.

And I think this is great. It's why, even though a lot of Word of Honor was not in priest's original text, Word of Honor is still very priest-flavored. Frog DNA, you know?

All of which is to say: If you love Word of Honor, you owe it to yourself to watch Legend of Fei. It's much sillier and straighter, and it's way less sexually charged, but it's got a very similar vibe, and it's fascinating to see what the two have in common. Think of them as two distant cousins, where you're like, sure, I can definitely see how you're related, but ... huh.

Ready to embark on your journey?

So many options! It's on iQiyi (VIP), Viki, and YouTube.

We watched it on iQiyi, and the subtitles were ... well, they made some interesting choices. You could always tell what they meant, but the actual phrasing was often wonky. Occasionally, where you'd expect a "Dammit!" or "Crap!" these subtitles would have someone exclaim, "Screwed!" And we never stopped laughing about the poor villain whose name those subs rendered as "Pathetic Clam." I cannot tell you if the other subtitles are any more polished, but I can promise that the awkward translations just added to the charm.

Do I have a soft spot for well-meaning television that does not have the means to achieve its goals but tries anyway? You better believe it.

Just a pile of precious cutie pies.

[thebluestbluewords]

"The council," Evie says brightly, "Is prepared to release more young VKs, on the condition that we find them appropriate foster families." 

There's a moment of absolute stillness, and then-- 

"And that's a good thing?" 

"Nope, no way--" 

"They don't even fucking trust us--" 

"Hey!" Evie shouts. "Everybody shut up. One at a time, please. Freddie, you can go first." 

All the eyes in the room swing over to Freddie Facilier, who crosses her arms over her skinny chest and scowls back at them. "Pass. I can't say anything nice right now, so I'm taking my Auradon lesson, just like they want us to do, and saying nothing at all." 

Of course. 

"Fuck's sake, Fred," Mal bites out. "You were literally just saying that they don't even fucking trust us. Finish the thought or get out." 

Freddie pushes off the wall, the whole long line of her rolling upright, from her shiny purple boots to the tip of her sleek pigtails. She looks mad, and it makes her look like her father. "I said pass, princess. We can't all pretend we love these Auradon folks when they keep coming up with new hoops for us to jump through. My baby sister's the circus freak here, and I can't even get her over without a goody-two-shoes grownup to what, adopt us both? Let them take my sister off the Isle, just to lock her up with some prissy princess family who's gonna treat her like dirt because of where she comes from? I can't just sit back and watch her go through what we did alone, and if she's locked up with some Auradon family, instead of here at school with the rest of us, she's gonna feel more alone than a mouse on main street. I'm not doing it. If they wanna make your market kids go through foster families, fine, but I'm not gonna sit here and just let it happen to my sister." 

She pushes her way towards the door, stepping through the whole mess of them, the tangle of kids and homework and jackets thrown across the floor barely impeding her path. 

"Wait." 

Freddie doesn't turn her head at the sound of Evie's voice, but she does pause, which is something. "I don't much care what you have to say, blueberry. You're the one working with them."

Mal's watching Evie's face like a goblin watches the sun, which is why she sees the flash of discomfort that flickers across the set of Evie's mouth, in the corners of her eyes, before she smooths them out into her perfect mask again ."I know. I am working with them, which is why you don't have to believe me when I say this is the best thing that could happen to us." 

Freddie turns, snapping a hand to her hip, her feet still pointing towards the door. "Talk." 

"We have an opportunity to invite families to apply for the VK foster program," Evie says, quick and smooth, like she's been rehearsing it. They sleep in the same room, in the same bed most nights, but Mal's not a member of Ben's junior court representatives, and she's only an associate for Evie's upcoming Isle project, so she's not allowed to know what goes on in the phone calls Evie has with the Bureau of Isle Affairs offices each week. An admirable commitment to Auradon standards of privacy, that's what Evie has, and it's not Mal's place to resent her for apparently rehearsing a whole speech about the VK program without asking her to listen to it even once. It's a good thing that Evie has so much moral integrity when it comes to her secret projects, that's it. There's no reason at all for Mal to feel jilted by the fact that Evie hasn't practiced this speech with her even once, even though they're girlfriends and roommates and ex-rivals. "We can hand pick the families we invite, so there's no chance of horrible people like Audrey's parents applying and making our new kid's lives a living hell." 

"Just whatever assholes can hide long enough to make it through your vetting program." 

"Yes. But--" Evie raises a hand before Freddie can jump in. "The requirements for being a foster family are flexible. The only hard requirement is that there's one adult over eighteen for each minor foster kid placed in the household." 

"We're nearly eighteen." Mal realizes. "Eves." 

"We meet the rest of the requirements too," Evie says, her eyes bright with what might be tears or her own cleverness. "Or we will, once I have my castle set up. We can take one VK for each of us." 

"Four." 

"We can get our friends on board. Jorden already said har family would do it, and Ally's working on her mom as well. Lonnie's not eligible because of her international citizenship, but she's asking all the people she trusts to ask their parents, and she has a lot of friends across all the sports teams she's been in, and the hip-hop club, and the school paper.”

[meirimerens]

meiri u have made me ship notkin and khan so bad. please tell me about ur vision, when will they fucking kiss. when will they admit that they're into each other. and also is capella suffering or entertained

i have been gifted by the muses the power to entrance people into caring about characters now Why these two when i have way funnier in stock many must wonder. the people yearn for childhood friends haters to lovers as grownups. flattered i am. do y;ou even care about my imaginary yurie between the rat catcher and aysa. I jest. flattered. anyways. it'll be quick because it's not like i have much on them

age 20 ish after khan has come back from whatever all-boys college he's shipped himself to to not have to cope with the fact he's becoming like his father minus the liking women thing and they both think "ooooh he's gotten better-looking stronger more intelligent less annoying while he/I was away"

also age 20 ish. before 1). i don't think the lapse of time between 1) and 2) is very long.

she's both. she has no romantic attachment to khan (and neither does he to her) so she dgaf about the loveless marriage thing and as such this is not what makes her #suffer, it's more the Are You Done At Once Can You Make A Move I Know You Want To Make A Move thing that makes her physically cringe. but it is equally entertaining. as previously mentioned

[theclashatdemonhead]

they died on their own terms, during the APOCALYPSE! they looked the end of the world in the eye and went "fuck that" and kept living. one killer plague followed by another and they lived through both. and then some years later they died nicely, laying in bed together after drinking a few bottles of wine, with the window cracked and the yellow curtains billowing in the wind. they fell in love and made a beautiful home for themselves and lived in (relative) peace for many many years, growing old as the world crumbled around their manicured cul-de-sac.

what they never could have anticipated is that bill's note would get picked up by this weird teenage girl, so full of complicated emotions and and hellbent on saving the world. she wants to talk about love and loss and how they're the same thing to her, but she's on the road with this guy who would rather rip each of his fingernails off in quick succession than have a Conversation about everything he's been through. but now, between the two of them, they're holding onto this tangible expression of raw emotion, deep and meaningful and loving: "but i was wrong, because there was one person worth saving. that's what i did. i saved him. i protected him." ellie came out of the qz and learned that love persists and grownups talk about their feelings and people change for the better and good things came out of collapse of civilization. isn't that something.

and that's the thing that gets me—she doesn't get to meet bill and frank, who could very well be the first (out) gay adults she's ever come across, but she learns an absolutely crucial lesson from them: there is a future for you in this world. who knows what they taught her in school? did they cover the lavender scare and stonewall and the AIDS epidemic in her fedra-approved history classes? what does she know about her people, how she comes from a long line of beautiful, resilient fuckers who lived and died and fought to be recognized as human beings?

it's so important that, even in the disappointment of coming all this way just to find a bittersweet suicide note and a shitty pickup truck, ellie gets this moment to herself before they head west and things get rough. even if she can't talk to joel about what happened between her and riley (or what happened between him and tess), she gets to walk around this old house and bear witness to all of the love that's holding it together.

society came to a grinding halt and bill and frank never looked back. they gave up on surviving and learned how to live again. they planted gardens and befriended the smuggler couple over the radio and had them over for lunch. they fortified the fences and rigged up flamethrowers to deter anyone who dared to intrude on their peace. they spent years by each other's side and got married and died peacefully. they passed their hope onto a new generation without even knowing it.

queer joy is always a radical act of resistance in a world that never stopped trying to kill you. i think we were put on this earth to grow strawberries in the garden and sit in the dirt to eat them with our lovers and grow old together so future gay kids have something to marvel at.

[spacecadet-ticklesinspace]

Tickletober Day 8: Nuzzles

Fandom: Lab Rats

Pairing: Adam, Chase, and Tasha (platonic)

Summary: Adam sees Tasha using nuzzles to tickle Leo so he decides to try them on Chase.

(Not really a set season for this fic ❤️ :) Truth be told, I blame my students for sending me back down the Lab Rats fandom hole after requesting to watch it during breaks ❤️😅 I just loved this show so much, especially the "interestingly chaotic" relationship between Adam and Chase ❤️ :))

"Don't forget that after lunch I'm picking you up for a doctor's appointment and then after that we're going to store to pick you up some new sneakers," Tasha reminded.

"Mom, you don't have to keep reminding me," Leo replied. "I'm not a kid anymore."

"I know," Tasha added as gently squeezed his chin. "But you'll always be my little baby."

Adam paused putting away his dish to pinch Leo's cheek. "Awww, look how adorable."

"Adam, remove your hand before I remove it for you."

"Aww, he thinks he's so scawry," Adam teased as he placed his dish in the sink.

Tasha giggled at the older teen's antics.

"Mom, you're embarrassing me."

Tasha took her hand away. "Just don't forget Mr. Grownup."

Leo picked up an orange. "Yes Mom."

"I remember when you were little," Tasha continued. "You used to refuse to go to school unless I gave you a special kiss before we got in the car."

Leo gave his Mom a look. "Mom."

"What? I'm not allowed to reminisce now either?"

Meanwhile, Adam leaned against the counter with the biggest grin on his face. "What was your special kiss Tasha?"

Leo glared at his brother. "I will kill you."

While Leo kept glaring at his brother, Tasha got a smirk of her own as she set her coffee cup down. "Well, it went a little something liiiiike this!"

Leo would deny the squeal that left his mouth as him Mom wrapped him in the biggest hug she could. Tasha then buried her face into Leo's neck.

The youngest Dooley-Davenport shrieked then collapsed into a fit of laughter. "NAAH! MOM!"

In response to the shriek, Adam jumped up. "Tasha! You're hurting him!"

Both Mother and son looked up. "I promise I'm not Adam. Leo's neck is just super ticklish."

"Reheleahse mehe womahan!" Leo demanded.

Now it was Tasha's turn to give her son a look.

"I mean, please let me go Mommy."

"Mh-hm." Tasha finally let Leo go after ruffling his hair.

The youngest Dooley-Davenport shoved her away. "And stop ehembarrassihing mehe!"

"Aww, Ihim sorry sweheetihie." Tasha swiped her lipstick off of Leo's neck. "It's just so cute."

After Leo glared at his Mom, a car horn honked in the driveway.

"Oh! That must be your friends."

Leo rushed to the door. "Bye Mom! I'll be back later this afternoon."

"Bye sweetie, have fun."

Once Leo was out the door, Adam turned back to Tasha. "Tasha? What did you do with Leo?"

Tasha's eyes went wide. "You don't know what tickling is?"

"Oh! No, I know what that is. It's in the cartoons we watch." Adam then pointed to the door. "But not what you did with Leo."

"Oh, well what I did with Leo is called a nuzzle."

"Wait, isn't that what they put on dogs if they're bad?"

"No, that's called a muzzle." Tasha snagged her coffee cup before moving over to the couch. "Nuzzles are when you push your face into someone's tickle spot and move your head back and forth really fast."

"Huh, and that can tickle someone?"

"It can. Not on everyone, but it can."

At that moment, the elevator dinged open.

Out stepped Chase. "Hey Tasha. Have either of you seen Mr. Davenport? I need to give him something."

"Sorry Chase, he's at a meeting across town. What did you need to give him?"

Chase held up a folder. "Just some expense reports that he wanted done. I can give it to him when he gets back."

"He's making you do work? On a Sunday afternoon?"

"What else am I supposed to do? The school told me I have to stop doing other people's Math homework so I don't have anything to do on the weekend anymore."

"Don't you ever---I don't know---do something besides Math equations?"

Chase furrowed his eyebrows together. "Why would I do that?"

"You know what, good point." Tasha took a sip of her coffee and grimaced. "Needs more creamer."

While Tasha made her way back to the kitchen, Adam narrowed his eyes at his younger brother. His eyes then lit up as he grinned. "Hey Chase."

Chase gave his older brother a look. "Yeah?"

"Can I show you something?"

Chase sighed. "For the millionth time Adam, being able to shot put me from the door to the elevator is not as entertaining as you think it is."

"Oo! I wanna see if I can get you to do a really cool spin before you hit the elevator."

"Not interested," Chase replied as he plopped his folder onto the table and turned.

"Wait! That's not what I wanted to show you though."

The younger Davenport turned back around. "Then what Adam?"

"Oh you'll sehee." The eldest eagerly grabbed his brother's arm.

Chase squeaked as he was spun into a bear hug from behind. "Adam!"

Without responding, the eldest pushed his face into Chase's neck and moved his face back and forth.

"OW!" The younger Davenport desperately thrashed in the hold.

Tasha set down her coffee cup and rushed over. "Adam, Adam! You're pushing too hard!"

The eldest looked up. "What?"

"To make it tickle, you have to push gently into the neck."

Chase's eyes went wide. "What!"

"If you don't push as hard, it should tickle. Like this." Tasha then leaned forward to nuzzle into one side of Chase's neck.

The younger Davenport immediately squealed and turtled into his shoulders. Bright laughter filled the room as Chase kicked his feet.

After a few more seconds, Tasha let up. "See? Just lihike thahat."

"Aww, looks like little Chasey is still very ticklish," Adam teased.

"You knohow Misteher D gahave me heightened sensehes!"

"Well that's not my problem."

Chase's laughter immediately filled the room again when Adam tried nuzzling again. It wasn't as painful this time but he was still pushing a bit hard.

"A bit more gentle Adam," Tasha encouraged.

The eldest Davenport pulled back just a bit. This made Chase's laughter grow even more.

"A little more."

Adam pulled out a bit more and Chase's laughter went up a notch.

"Liiiitle more."

When Adam pulled back just a tiny more, Chase's laughter increased in volume and intensity as he squirmed as much as he could in Adam's bear hug.

"You got it!" Tasha cheered.

"Hehey! I'm doing ihit!"

"Dohont encourage hihim!" Chase demanded.

"Why not?" Tasha gently squeezed the younger Davenport's chin. "It's adorable."

Chase gave Tasha a glare that lasted approximately two seconds before Adam moved to the other side of his neck to nuzzle in there. The younger Davenport broke back into loud laughter as tugged on his arms to get them out of his older brother's hold.

"Thihis ihis the coolest thihing eveher!" Adam replied when he finally pulled away.

"Not fohor mehe!" Chase whined.

Tasha grinned. "You know Adam, nuzzles just don't have to be used on someone's neck?"

"Tashaha," the younger Davenport warned.

In response, Adam hefted his younger brother up higher. "You mean I can use them anywhere?"

"Mh-hm." Tasha grinned. "One of my favorite spots to use it when Leo was a baby was riiiiight here!"

Chase shrieked when Tasha nuzzled her face into his stomach. "Tasha!"

The older woman tried to hold back a laugh as her own as she ended her quick attack with a raspberry.

When she pulled back, Chase sagged into his older brother's arms with a few residual giggles spilling out.

Just then, Tasha's phone rang. "Oh shoot! It's my Mom. I've got to take this."

As she made her up the stairs, Adam finally set Chase back down on the ground. "Well that was fuhun."

Chase gave his older brother a shove.

Suddenly, Eddie popped up on screen. "Aww, look at you two getting along. It's enough to make a security system cry. . . Naaaah."

"Very funny Eddie," Chase replied.

"Oo! You know what would be even cuter. If I sent a clip of what I just saw to Mr. Davenpooort!"

Adam whirled to the screen. "Do and I'll rip you out of the wall and fry your circutboards with my laser eyes."

"Eeh, worth it."

As soon as Eddie's screen went dark, both Davenport brothers turned to each other.

"If we get down to the lab right now, I can delete the video," Chase replied.

Adam took off. "Let's go."

Immediately, Chase followed.

[cowboyjen68]

this might seem some stupid teenage problem to you but how do i deal with my friends having boyfriends and girlfriends while im just depressingly lonely as hell? i mean we still talk but im just scared that they'll just pay more attention to theie boyfriends and girlfriends coz they did that the last time we went to our friend's house for karaoke. its not a bad thing to pay attention to boyfriends and girlfriends but sometimes i just feel left out. plus my friends used to joke abt me being single when i already feel like shit because im single and the only relationship i had was with a boy that i literally regretted to get together with bc he wasn't even a decent person to me. they don't make jokes like that anymore when i had enough and told them to stop it. idk if im being clingy at all but its like i just feel left out coz last time we went to have karaoke at my friend's house some of them just straight up pay more attention to their boyfriends and girlfriends and idk i just feel left out mostly bc it kinda feels like i have no one to talk to atp. again im not saying it's a bad thing but how can i stop feeling left out? and why's being gay kinda hard? most of my friends r in hetero relationships and they had it easy. the only relationship i had was with my toxic childhood friend who wasn't a decent person. plus everytime i like a girl, either they're lgbtq+ but just like boys more, straight or a piece of shit. why's it so hard for me to have a girlfriend? is it because im ugly? awkward? too introverted? or maybe the fact that i kinda suck at socializing bc i literally dont socialize alot? everything always goes wrong for me in my love life while my friends have it easy. im sorry if its too long

Forgive typos. I’m on my phone. And tired.

First. Big butch mom hugs to you. Take a breath and read this.

You are not by any means alone. And even in adulthood. Those of us grownups who are single often find ourselves lamenting the “loss” of a friend who is in a néw relationship. That friend is still our friend but her time is suddenly drastically limited. My best friend who was single for 12 years was my constant companion. Now she’s finally found love and two years in I’ve spent a total of maybe 6 hours with her. And it’s never just her and I. It’s only in group gatherings. It’s sad and hard to say the least. It’s feeling lonely even as I try to let other friends step in. The space she occupied will always be hers.

High school. College. Youthful friend groups tend to be much wider and less static. A constant refreshing of new love interests and I do remember those who dates feeling very intense emotions both at the start and end of such couplings. When you’re the single one you never the priority to others because they are expending so much time and energy to the mostly futile attempt to make fleeting romances work out. You don’t require energy since they assume (albeit unconsciously) you will just be there. Which is not fair. Friendship requires attention.

Sometimes we just have to toss ourselves into our own joys. Go to things you love alone. Have coffee. Enjoy a meal. Don’t sequester yourself to the internet to find connections. Be okay with you. Eventually others wil come in your life.

Do not date just to not be alone. Being miserable in a relationship is worse than just staying single and loving time with yourself.

I won’t lie and tell you loneliness will just abate. But I can say it won’t be forever. And friends will evolve and shift your entire life. You take all the good things. And bad from each one into the next and learn who and what enhances your life the most.

[electrozeistyking]

Questions (sorry if it's too much):

What does Beanie like? (Shows, Series, Books, food(?) or/and other stuff)

Also does she like dogs like how her dad used to?

Does her dad still like dogs.

Why does V exactly call Beanie her niece? Did V become a sister to N or/and Uzi?

NO, IT'S NOT TOO MUCH! I love the amount of questions I'm getting, shows people really care about this AU! (Which is making me cry a little bit, I am so happy.)

Beanie likes turtlenecks, roboroaches (aka "cute little bugs,") sweet things like her dad, biting things like her mom, dictionaries (she stole one and read the whole thing once, hoping there were "grownup terms" in it), and like both of her parents, she's a dog person!

(dude, uzi seemed relieved upon reading that calendar in canon... either n has worried about what happened to copper-9's dog population and she was relieved that she can tell him they're fine, or she actually likes dogs too... aww, they're both dog people! win!)

N still likes dogs, don't worry. How could he not? I think it'd be a lil weird if he suddenly stopped liking them, soo... N is still a dog person. He likes all animals, but his top favourite is the dog.

V lands up becoming N's other sister. I like to think he started referring to her as "Auntie V" in front of Beanie, and she went "Yeah, I'll be her aunt. Why not?" And now she considers N as being her brother.

[nonbinary-octopus]

most of the time in dreams I am present in the narrative, but sometimes I'm just there watching it happen in third person. last night was mostly the latter. I was sometimes the POV person, but mostly I just followed him around as an invisible observer

So. The main person in my dream last night was this little boy, who loves his big sister very much, but doesn't have a birthday present for her. And it's her birthday today. And he really wants her to be happy on her birthday.

So, he sneaks off through some kind of portal he's not supposed to have access to, off to the human world to get her a gift she'll like.

I say "the human world" because it turns out that they're giants.

And the gift he has in mind is none other than the author of her favorite manga series. I think in my dream the series was called Omashu, which I realized later is from Avatar. But the kid finds the mangaka, somehow doesn't get noticed by anyone else, and yoinks him up. I don't really remember their conversation as the kid returned to the giant train that would take him home, but I do remember the mangaka responding primarily in scathing haikus.

So, the boy returns home with the kidnapped author in his hand, to give him to his sister. He debates whether to go into his own home first, or directly into the neighboring house where the party is being held (at the home of the sister's best friend and neighbor Peggy, with whom she shares the love of this manga series). He decides to go straight to the party without wrapping his gift first, because that's where his sister is.

In the entryway to the house is a tableful of jewish men having a conversation, and the boy must get past them to get to the party. He asks if his sister is there, and the dream tagged the question as being in Yiddish, but I don’t actually know any Yiddish so it was actually partly Spanish with a decent amount of gibberish. But anyway, the men tell him that yes, she is in there, and scoot their chairs in to let him squeeze past.

The mangaka has been squirming this whole time, trying to call out to the men, but the boy covers his mouth with his thumb ao he can't, and once they're past the table to a room with nobody in it, the boy sternly tells the author that he can't get the grown-ups' attention, or there will br trouble. They'd take him away, and the boy doesn't know what they'd do with him but it's probably not put him back, and also then he'd be without a present for his sister!

The author agrees to be quiet, and the boy goes to find his sister. She's in the kitchen dying eggs with Peggy. When the boy shows up, she's glad to see him, because he's been missing all morning and they were a bit worried about where he had wandered off to.

The boy reassures her that he's okay, he just went to get her a present. He shows her the mangaka, who is currently cooperating and not squirming or calling out, and proudly explains, "I know you like Omashu, so I kidnapped the author for you!"

His sister is both touched by the thoughtfulness of the gift, and that he clearly cares about her interests... and also horrified by the realization that this means her baby brother just went to the human world, which they are very not supposed to do – especially not alone and unsupervised and with the intent of kidnapping a human – and they could get in SO much trouble.

she decides that they can never tell the grownups.

also, she accepts the gift, tells him thank you, and tells the author that Omashu is her absolute favorite series ever.

so now the three of them – the boy, his sister, and Peggy – all share the secret of the kidnapped author, who is not particularly enjoying being kidnapped in the giant world but is making the best of it.

Shenanigans ensue.

(I woke up pretty soon after that)

I've been thinking about maybe trying to write a story based on this

[goodluckclove]

Blind Trust OC Interview!

I got tagged by @mk-writes-stuff, and this sounded like fun so I'm down!

I've been thinking of an upcoming plot thread where I delve into Scott and Edgar's friendship as children, so I'll be answering as both of them at that age (so, like, 4-8). It'll be good practice to write their kid personalities.

Enjoy some casual conversations between two very different children who love each other very much.

(edit: this turned out way longer than i expected it to be but it's very cute in my brain so i'm letting it happen. i also tag @ivaspinoza and @rkmoon and @thegreatbeargod-writes if they're down!)

Are you named after anyone?

Scott: I'm named after my dad! My dad's name was Scott so now my name is Scott. Mom says that if I decide I want to change it she can help me, but I don't think I will. I might be a girl named Scott and I think that's cool because then I can still tell people about how important my dad was!

Eddie: I think - um. I'm sorry, I'm not sure. I think there was a little boy named Edgar in a children's book I used to have. I don't know if that's right, though. I'm sorry.

Scott: You know sometimes people aren't named after anybody. Sometimes you just get a name off a list. Sometimes you make up special new names to give to kids when they're born.

Eddie: I think Edgar was already a name before me.

Scott: Maybe.

When was the last time you cried?

Scott: This morning! I thought about a duck I saw in the river last year that was smaller than the other ducks and couldn't swim as fast. But its little duck family made sure to wait for it to catch up. It was really nice.

Eddie: You told me about that last night.

Scott: Yeah, it made you cry too.

Eddie: I'm sorry.

Scott: No, it makes sense! It's really beautiful. It's important.

Do you have kids?

Scott: I read in one of my dad's books that I might not be able to have kids myself, and it made me really sad because I thought it meant I wouldn't be able to have a family. But then mom told me - well, she explained a lot of things I didn't really get. I think it just meant that I was wrong before, and if I want I can have a really big family when I'm older.

Eddie: How big?

Scott: Probably a hundred. They can be kids and uncles and aunts and cousins and friends and dogs -

Eddie: You'd need a really big house.

Scott: Don't worry. We'll find one.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Scott: I'm not really good at telling when people are being sarcastic. I don't understand how it's different than lying. I think it's a special kind of lying that everyone knows about but me. And that's kind of hard, but I think it's probably okay!

Eddie: It's not good when people are mean.

Scott: Some people feel like they have to be, I think.

Eddie: Why?

Scott: I don't know. But it must be hard for them.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Eddie: I'm - well - I can tell if someone's going to be a bad person pretty quickly.

Scott: Wow.

Eddie: It's not really...it's hard to explain. Bad people - grownups, usually - get a look. In their eyes? Sometimes other people don't see it, but I do. I'm...really good at it.

Scott: That's amazing. Like a superpower!

What’s your eye colour?

Eddie: Scott's eyes are blue like, um...the sky in summer after I wake up from a nightmare.

Scott: Oh man.

Eddie: Okay it's your turn.

Scott: Um. Right. I - Eddie has brown eyes. Like...hang on, let me think. Like dirt? Yeah. Good, soft dirt. Mine's not as good as yours was.

Eddie: No, I liked it. I like soft dirt. Thank you.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Scott: I'm not allowed to watch scary movies because some of my older cousins put on Jurassic Park and I cried so hard I threw up.

Eddie: It is pretty scary, I think.

Scott: They say the dinosaurs aren't even real.

Eddie: Yeah.

Scott: How'd they get them to work on the movie, then?

Eddie: I think they made them up. With - uh - technology. Like a special effect.

Scott: Is Air Bud a special effect?

Eddie: I...I'm not sure.

Scott: I prefer Air Bud.

Eddie: I do too, I think.

Any special talents?

Eddie: Um, Scott is really, really good at the piano -

Scott: Eddie knows everything about every bird.

Eddie: Oh no. Oh no, Scott, that's not true.

Scott: Quick, name the best bird.

Eddie: That's not - Scott, that isn't really -

Scott: Come on I bet you know.

Eddie: American Goldfinch.

Scott: I knew it.

Where were you born?

Scott: I was born in Bluerose, Oregon!

Eddie: I was born in the Shreveport Academy in Louisiana.

Scott: That's really far away.

Eddie: Yeah. Yes. It is.

Scott: It doesn't feel far at all when I talk to you at night.

Eddie: ...No. I guess it doesn't.

Do you have any pets?

Scott: I'm friends with all the farm cats in town. Sometimes they'll follow me around to make sure I get home okay.

Eddie: That's nice of them.

Scott: You should talk about your pet!

Eddie: I don't have a pet.

Scott: There's that lizard in your yard.

Eddie: Oh, the skink? I'm not sure if that counts.

Scott: You named him Buster.

Eddie: I did. His name is Buster.

Scott: I like that. Buster seems nice.

What sort of sports do you play?

Eddie: I'm on the Academy little league team, but I'm not very good at soccer.

Scott: I don't play any sports, but I like to skateboard. It makes it a lot easier to get around town.

Eddie: Can you do any tricks?

Scott: Sometimes I can almost do a kickflip but if I keep practicing I think I can learn how to do a hardflip.

Eddie: What's that?

Scott: It's - different. It's cooler.

How tall are you?

Eddie: Short. I wish I was taller.

Scott: Why? I like that I'm short.

Eddie: Sure, but you might be a girl. It's okay if girls are short.

Scott: Well if you keep being a boy, I don't mind if you grow up to be short.

Eddie: I'll...probably get a little taller when I'm older.

Scott: Oh! That works for me too.

What was your favourite subject in school?

Scott: Eddie's really smart. He tells me all about his homework and tests and it all sounds really important.

Eddie: i don't really think school is fun, though. And you're smart, Scott. You're really smart.

Scott: I think science is neat.

Eddie: I thought there were only three types of matter -

Scott: No there are so many.

Eddie: Yeah, you're the one that told me about that.

Scott: Time crystals.

Eddie: Which one is that?

Scott: I can't remember. But they're there.

What is your dream job?

Scott: I want to be a professional zookeeper. And I would be friends with all the animals and take care of them.

Eddie: And you'd play the piano too, right?

Scott: Sure, but that won't be my job. That's just something I'd do for you and our family.

Eddie: Oh. Hah! Okay.

Scott: What about you, Eddie?

Eddie: Uh. Maybe I could be a Scout Leader. Like in the Boy Scouts!

Scott: You can take them to the zoo and - and I can tell them about anteaters.

Eddie: I'd like that.

[homunculus-argument]

Sometimes the way getting older changes the way you think really creeps on you in surprising ways. I used to think, "I'm not mature or responsible enough to have kids and if I'm not sure I want them, so I don't think I should." It wouldn't be fair for some kid to have me as a parent, my parents were only a few years older than I am now and did not have their shit together as well as I do, even if they were more stable financially and better established career-wise. The idea that having to "grow up" and give up whatever fun bullshit I'm doing because now I have to provide for someone else, felt like a looming threat on the horizon.

Approaching 30 now, I'm just becoming more and more aware of how much better it is for everyone that I never picked up the huge responsibility of another human being. I would absolutely rather devote my time and energy to doing silly and frivolous things than put them all aside for the sake of a task that's not only far more important than my own life, and I'm fortunate and lucky that it wasn't forced onto me by any outside circumstance.

Me and my boyfriend have recently gotten into Warhammer. There's a small army of expensive, half-finished, very delicate and fragile figurines currently on the floor. Not only is every single one of them a choking hazard, and the paints are probably super toxic for someone who investigates their surroundings primarily by putting foreign objects into their mouth, but they also look like the coolest, sickest fucking toys you've ever seen. Because they are. It would be straight-up torture for everyone involved to try to keep a kid away from The Cool Grownup Toys until they're old enough to not immediately destroy them. Or get hurt by them.

Having kids and having your own dumb fun shit aren't inherently mutually exclusive. Some people can figure out how to have both a kids' room and a Warhammer Room in their house, without one killing the other no matter how hard they're determined to do that, and even having the time to enjoy both of them. I am not one of those people. I'm sitting here, looking at the rows of unpainted tyranids and space marines on the floor, knowing that both people in the house are adults who can be trusted to not step on them or take them apart to see what's the largest and most jagged part that can be fit inside one's nostril or ear canal, and think

"Man, I'm so glad I didn't have kids."

[feuqueerfire]

Unknown Live Blogging

I loveeeeee a younger pursuer character, especially when they've known each other for a while and the older is just like I love you kid (platonic/familial) while the younger is losing their mind with their crush/love/lust. Also, the fact that the novel it's adapted from is literally called Da Ge 大哥 ah, I've gotten more into adoptive or step-brothers trope since I got into live-action BL but I've only just watched Addicted/Stay With Me and Kiseki: Dear to Me 2nd couple, so it's exciting to add another one to the list.

This is also a novel from China that's being adapted in Taiwan so that they don't have to censor it, right? There are several other BLs currently in the works like this.

Anyway, seems like people really like this show (not counting the sex scene in ep 11 or something because I heard so much complaining about that lol), so my hopes are high.

Ep 1 (June 13)

ahhh crazy start/glimpse into future

starts when they're young but have been living together a while already

ahhhh trying to take care of things/the family/his ge by paying the bills using his gift money + some part time job maybe. isn't quite a grownup yet but he wants to be so bad

2007 - when they first met

oh fuck the child being hit with the metal pipe was scary and unexpected

oh man, Qian getting embroiled with gangs and doing their dirty work for money

oof, gonna have to win 3 boxing matches to leave the gang

Ep 2 (June 13)

the teacher saying an older brother is like a father

not them ganging up on Xiao Bao!

dang, Qian's mother hated him because he did well, that's wild

Qian is so attractive like woah

we've reached current year - 2016

Ep 3 (June 13)

Yuan to the rescue

Bao and Yuan's dynamic is so cuteee

damn, Qian mad as hell at Xiao Bao's outfit and it has a bit of the "proprietary" thing that so many father-daughter older brother-younger sister dynamics have (in media at least) but also most importantly it reminds him of their mother who they are both very traumatized by

I'm so nervous, I hope nothing bad happens to Xiao Bao (esp because we know this world has like gangsters and stuff)

Is this guy part of the gangsters? Does he know who Xiao Bao is?

Yuan recognizes the gangster oh no

Sam Lin as doctor, though I must say I would not recognize him if I wasn't already aware of this

sharing a bed

studying abroad mentioned

I don't wanna read thoughts of r/boyslove or look for gifsets on tumblr, I just wanna get to the next episode.

It feels like since they both scold/get upset at Xiao Bao in an attempt to protect her, she's not gonna retain any of the reasons they're worried about her but rather maybe rebel and end up in troublesome situations. please no rape storyline though plsplspls

Ep 4 (June 14)

Yuan's 18th birthday? adult Yuan alright

pls Qian thinking that Xiao Bao's saying Yuan watches porn

it's romantic stuff but is it yaoi/BL? because the one Sweet Summer or whatever novel seemed to be two guys on the cover?

Qian kinda reminds me of Na Jaemin (my NCT bias when I was into them) from some angles

I will forever love helping something with feet, whether it be shoelace tying, giving a massage/a foot bath, or now taking care of an ankle/foot injury. it's not even a foot kink, it's just... idek like lowering oneself... in aid of the other... taking care of them...

Yuan definitely doesn't wanna hear about them seperating and liking other people

this kiss must be in Yuan's imagination

so I guess Qian doesn't suspect Yuan's feelings toward him at all + also doesn't return the feelings (yet + he might be unconsciously feeling something but it's not as intense as Yuan's feelings). However, I'm unclear on whether he thinks Yuan likes boys? Like he saw Yuan's romance novel with 2 boys + asking about the high school class monitor...

Ep 5 (June 14)

I knew this was a daydream because of the dreamy filter + I kinda remember some post on reddit about Yuan's daydream but if I was watching this in real time, I would've lost my shit

oh oh my god okay. "Ge, do you already know that I like guys?" extremely forward and sudden, I wasn't expecting it

ahhh, I can't watch this, it's so T.T. like ik it's very Uncle Jim to Liming, looking out for their young(er) nephew/brother because being gay openly isn't easy but like T.T still

What year is this? 2016 right? while gay marriage became legal in Taiwan in 2019

I love a "it's my business who i like, not yours" or whatever

ah, Qian's nice to Yuan again, he likes gives him a little lecture but isn't like actually homophobic

Xiao Bao turns 18 too

damn, what's up with Qian? head hurts?

pls the colleague (is that San Pang? yeah right?) running into Qian's room to see him and Yuan in bed sleeping and cuddling and being like... hm

pls Qian himself being like "it's not what it looks like" before the other guy even says what it looks like

QIAN WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM THAT YUAN LIKES GUYS?!

omg San Pang now coming over to talk to Yuan

pls I know why he's asking but the way he's talking about where Xiao Bao sleeps and where he sleeps like hey ! stop

that's her literal brother and they have no parents, I think it's fine if Xiao Bao climbs into her Dage's bed to sleep occasionally lmfao

oh I guess he was talking about Xiao Bao sleeping in Yuan's bed. whelp he'd have a point in that case I guess becuase Yuan def can like these siblings lol he just happens to not like the sister

pls Xiao Bao wants San Pang to ask about her, so whenever he talks about Yuan and Qian the way her eyes roll so hard that her whole head rotates, so funny

not the office fujos Noticing and Observing lol

ahh, Yuan's inner turmoil seeing his "future sister-in-law"

ah, San Pang straight up asking if the one Yuan likes is Qian

I just wanna know when the confession is gonna happen, is it gonna be next ep? because Yuan also has to go abroad (though I don't think that time skip takes too much airtime from what I've read). I want some stuff to happen after confession + after getting together too.

Ep 6 (June 14)

I wonder what role San Pang will play like will he help them figure it out or hinder all the way through? they're kinda hinting him with Lili, so he can't possibly be a "bad guy." I get him dissuading them now or giving them reasons why they shouldn't but once they do, I assume he'll be okay with it at least

"Don't tell me that guy also has some?" oh Qian

Qian feeling pity for Yuan and being like why do you have to like him... oh Qian, oh Yuan

aklsdfjalksdf ahhh Yuan about to me a drunken mess at this important work function plssss I'm nervous. but also... does the confession happen when Yuan's drunk? Is it gonna happen this ep?

Feng Ning is so cool I love her. if Yuan does anything that upsets her I'll get mad at him im negl

oh omg I have an image in my mind of when Yuan confesses maybe and it was not in this outfit and they were also maybe sitting, so the i like you and attempted kiss was like oh!

It also stressed me out that they're still at work

woahhh it hurts so good the way Qian not only punched Yuan but also didn't stop to care for his wounded hand

ahhh Qian avoiding Yuan and the home entirely

studying abroad plan on

Aw, Xiao Bao who is like ? wtf is going on, why are my brothers fighting and also Yuan literally going to NY

is that Yuan sitting on the floor with his paper on his face and crying? yes, same sweater stripes

The angst is done well. The situation must happen (I was anticipating the fallout from the confession so much!), it's not overdramatized (Qian reacts badly but then just avoids Yuan for the rest and Yuan tries to apologize a bunch but doesn't force anything when Qian ignores him), the acting-writing-directing are all good. I'm also liking the consequence of him moving away to a different country (for a few years?) because he's known Qian all his life and practically only talks to Qian, Lili, and sometimes people like San Pang or a classmate but he'll broaden his horizons now and it'll be less "he loves Qian because he only knows him"

Ep 7 (June 14)

damn, Qian's apparently been so apathetic that San Pang's like maybe I shouldn't made Yuan stay so that at least you wouldn't be like this

Qian's alcohol problem + his chronic headache bruh

San Pang straight up asking if Qian has feelings for Yuan too and Qian does not deny it

also it's been 2 years right? since it's 2018 now and 2017-2018 were blank for Yuan's height

Qian is truly so attractive. his face but also his mannerisms and expressions and gestures. woah. and of course my forever weakness: nice smile and there's a dimple too

2017 - 2023?! omg 6 years? that's a lot, I was expected 2-3 fr

Qian continues reading Yuan's texts but not replying to them. then impulsively calling Yuan and immediately hanging up again

first reciprocal contact in 6 years, if I was Yuan that call would've made me lose my whole entire mind fr

Bro, it's actally Qian who's losing his mind because he's sitting on Yuan's bed in Yuan's room and texting Yuan to come home if he misses it

Xiao Bao has truly become grown up model Lili

San Pang is at the office gathering, so who did she see at the door? would Yuan already be at home lmfao

ah, indeed Yuan's here lol

Yuan and Lili antics begin again, how fun

From a few Tumblr posts, I thought Lil iand San Pang's relationship was gonna get exposed? next ep i guess.

also saw some gifs that Yuan's gonna be petty toward Qian next ep and I'm so excited, how did people wait weekly for this? I can barely wait for tomorrow.

Ep 8 (June 15)

starting this around 7:30pm because I had to watch Wandee Goodday episode today. Hope I like this episode than I liked Wandee's

ah, Yuan's so bold now "Have you seen enough?"

The fact that Yuan made eye contact with Qian before handing the drink over to Xiong-ge. Qian expectantly holding out his hand but having to retreat and check afterwards that nobody else saw lmfao

It's killing me that Yuan keeps looking at the other two ges during the conversation while Qian keeps glancing at Yuan and can't keep his eyes off of him even when he tries

Yuan even thanking San Pang for making him go to the states...

the hickeys?!

Qian's incredulous look at 8:00 is really so Na Jaemin, why does he remind me so much of him

I would say Qian's slow for not catching on that they're together somehow but ig San Pang and Lili are LDR since she doesn't even live here anymore? and so Qian's not aware of it? but it's also funny to think his brain was barely working while Yuan wasn't here but managed to deduce it by glimpsing the hickeys as soon as Yuan came and Qian's brain started working again lmao

damn, Lili's literally shaking her head no, how dare San Pang make the executive decision to confess to Qian?

NOT THE BUTCHER KNIFE LMFAO

Yuan literally sitting back and eating fruits on the couch as he observes is so funny

and his smiles lmfaooo

and only inserting himself when Xiong-ge brings up Qian dating somebody else lmfao he's a menace

Yuan calling Qian as Wei Qian instead of ge is so .

Qian's mad because the two of them are dating and there's an age difference and San Pang's known Lili since she was a child and he figured it out through hickeys and he's the last to know and all those reasons but also... he's probably also mad that why isn't he with Yuan then? If those two can do it, why not him too?

Yuan knowssssss he's getting to Qian

I've seen a glimpse of a gif of Yuan feeding Qian ahh

and now that Yuan's indeed giving him his full attention at the table, Qian can't look at him

Qian's losing his mind and I along with him

Yuan's so bold now, it makes me nervous like chilllllll, move back like the way he kept walking toward Qian and nearly kissed him alksdfjla;ksfj

Yuan is suchhh a menace, the way he starting speaking loud and clear when he heard Qian at the door

my mom dragged me away right then but I'm back

plss he's talking about how he also likes somebody and both Xiao Bao and Ge know that person. lmfao. menace.

Xiao Bao reading from a script lmfaooo

Yuan truly is such a menace, sliding the family vacation into Lili's script pls

cryingggg Xiao Bao ditched the family trip to go to Milan

Yuan kept poking until Qian finally says to not keep feelings for him anymore, only to hit him back with "what makes you think i still like you?"

Yuan saying Wei Qian really does me in. "Wei Qian, don't you like Wei Zhiyuan?" was woah

agh, A'Le and gangsters next ep. hmph

I've been curious to see which other age gap older male/younger female ships I like because they usually give me major ick but I'm such a fan of age gap ships in m/m-f/f-noona romances. I think History 3: Trapped side side ship with the sister and bulter man is the only one I can think of and they barely existed lol. So I want to like San Pang and Lili, especially when she said she's the one who pursued him (I'm into that trope a lot too; like Yuan's also the younger one pursing the older one) but I wish San Pang wasn't a hypocrite/homophobe because if he's into Lili and has no problems getting with her but so disapproved and dissuaded Yuan, like the reason is homophobia yes? I wanted him to come to The Realization that Yuan liking Qian is... fine-ish when he developed feelings for Lili, not have him separate the two situations.

Ep 9 (June 15)

so many things to do but I'm watching this instead, goddammit. but been a little while since i've been so eager to binge and watch next ep (Kiseki and Triage last month I think)

Also, I saw a post that had a clip from the trailer that hasn't happened yet or something and I didn't watch it but there was text about how Qian looks Yuan in the eye when he confesses... omg now I'm so excited to see when that happens. I hadn't been thinking about how they'd actually come together but a confession must happen and I'd be very happy if Qian's the one who does it this time, even more so if he's very tortured about it

oh, abroad was 4 years ago? not 6

I like Yuan's whole spiel about I can't stop liking you but this is enough

Yuan calling Qian out on his bullshit, he can't kick Yuan out again

Qian can tell when Yuan's lying/hiding something

hmm they're calling Qian the snitch and the cops came back then... I feel like Qian didn't do it since he himself was involved

when's that napkin with the poem from?

what is the plan exactly? Lin's telling Yuan to remember that Qian cares about him...

damn, Yuan left for a trip with very short notice?

"You're acting like a wife trying to catch her cheating husband" read the room, San Pang. you can't tell this to Qian who is trying to not be in love with his didi

Dr. Lin so funny. also did We Best Love have eating raw noodles? I feel like it did...

Wei Zhiyuan means "belongs to Wei"

no but what was Yuan plan actually because mans just went to their lair, asked for Le-ge and now is just getting beat up lmfao

scary, Le-ge's got bullets

please why are we doing Russian Roulette rn T.T

Can't have a bullet in there if he's doing it on himself, right? I didn't see how many bullets he put in there. or is he just fucked up in the head enough to do it anyway lol

Qian hugging Yuan in desperation

omg that napkin was literally what Yuan wrote as he thought they were his last words stuck on a mountain during his study abroad. and Qian was avoiding speaking to him during that time godddd, what a tragedy it would have been

and it's a good time to reveal that since they just did the russian roulette for e/o

I don't wanna read ppls thoughts or look at gifsets, I wanna just watch the next episode omg but I won't look at anything after ep 10 until I finish the whole thing since ep 11-12 spoilers will also be there, so I should look at stuff now.

Ep 10 (June 16)

Qian remembering everything Yuan's said and done

nose bleed...

parallels w the hair drying and cuddling to sleep, it'd be funny if san pang woke them up again

does Qian think he'll die

lmaoooooo San Pangcame but unfortunaly Qian was aklready downstairs

i knew bout this blood clot

not the i wish i could tie you up with a rope

Idk how Qian thinks he could possibly hide this from Yuan lol I'm surprised he hadn't just listened in or bothered Lin about the info

the three of them just exchanging eye contact and the focus from San Pang -> Qian with a zoom! sound effect was very funny

Yuan is so funny to San Pang lmfao he keeps being like San Pang ge thank you <3 to the point of uncomfortableness

welp indeed Yuan figured it out on his own

ah, Yuan's mad that Qian hid it from him and keeps saying he'll deal with it on its own

Qian made all of Yuan's favourites to try to win him over askdf but Yuan's still mad

Yuan taking a brief break from ignoring Qian's existence to take away greasy food/beer and give him and San Pang salad instead

San Pang once again telling Qian to consider Yuan and getting with him seriously

Did he not that he wants Yuan to have a future without him?

I think I got a little lost about what exactly led to Yuan storming out but ahhh that convo, fuck. Qian's turmoil and inner conflict and Yuan being like it's mind to deal with, not yours but Qian not being able to let Yuan go.

Ep 11 (June 16/17)

I wanna binge these last 3 eps but it's Eid so I'm busy and gotta watch the rest later. I'm really excited for this ep since it's gonna have the confession and also the sex scene but I know it made everybody fucking mad because of the editing (they had flashbacks to them as kids?) + position top/bottom implications/confusions lmfaoo

The first time Qian took initiative to grab Yuan omg

wait, we're already going into the house okay

I need a pillow or stuffed animal to dig my nails into rn omg i keep grabbing air

what was the more correct translation of "I've been waiting all my life. This isn't fast at all." that made me lose my mind when I saw it and I hadn't even been watching the show back then

"You don't even know what I dream about you at night" hah. hahahah. haha. ok

hello why are we having flashbacks to a conversation from 5 minutes in between the sex scene instead of just... being linear??? I didn't know this happened bc it got drowned out w the other complaints ig lmao

yeah, interspliced scenes we haven't seen before + flashbacks of scenes we've seen during a sex scene are already annoying but then WHY ARE THERE CHILDHOOD FLASHBACKS. this is not the time to have kids on my damn screen wtf

also I just kinda took top Yuan from that, is it top Qian in the novel or something because I feel like people mentioned that it seemed one way but it wasn't supposed to be that way? or is it because the scene where Yuan had his bare legs splayed that gave the illusion of bottom Yuan and people didn't like that? I'm so curious

domestic morning kissing, they've really come all the way here

Lili's home?!

a fight? girl lmao ig Lili's the normal sibling who's not guessing that her other siblings are fucking, biologically related or not

what is this Le/Lin scene lmao

fancy dinner date at the same gangster restaurant as always lol but apparently Qian's reserved the whole place and made it romantic

Enough angles for one kiss!

restaurant owner gang uncle just witnessing all this lmfao I think it'd be hilarious if he gossips with Le-ge about Qian and his brother kissing

fuck, this nerve and surgery stuff is so scary fr

Okay, finished the last 10 minutes while having lunch the next day because I had to leave yesterday. Good to see both Yuan and Lili care about Qian and want to take care of him and such. Qian took up smoking again in all this stress. I still don't fully get all the mom stuff beyond she thoroughly abused him.

The sex scene was like... what??? and I'm glad I was already aware of its issues because I would've gone beserk if I was watching this weekly for 10 weeks and got that in return wtf. The whole show relies on their emotions and inner conflicts but it felt like neither aspect was truly explored in the scene and made worsened with the horrific editing.

Also I can't fucking reblog but this is maybe the post I was talking about with the translation during the sex scene. Yuan's line implies he's masturbated thinking about Qian which is like the most unsurprising thing ever.

Ep 12 (June 17)

Final episode, hope it at least ends well

Lili figures it out. she's kinda upset that she's the last one to know about it, her lines remind me of when Qian found out about her and San Pang haha

but what does she wanna say, why am I nervous that she's pregnant

lol Qian liking that Yuan's trying to help him out at work

I'm suddenly embarrassed, I really can't do office romances

Xiong-ge showing support in his awkward ways is nice

hehhehe Yuan coming to pick Qian up from work dressed up so nice and Qian kissing him outside after checking nobody's around

I got stressed out by Yuan kissing Qian at work omg in broad daylight with people around

yeah the office fujo will certainly keep this a secret lol as if a bunch of them weren't already gossiping like 4 years ago or whatever

I can't handle office romances guys my body shrivels up and my toes and fingers curl, I'm so embarrassed. can the employees stop squealing about it in public. I'm so stressed out by office gossip even if it's like shippy/supportive. also the excited fujo character can sometimes work for me in high school/college shows because it's like young characters but this in an office is like. no. their family and friends can know but i don't need to see their coworkers finding out unless it's meant to be a point of conflict

how can you be discussing top-bottom dynamics of your boss with your colleagues!! and asking your other boss about it !!!! let's get serious I hate this, I should skip through

HOW CAN YOU ASK THIS TO YOUR FUCKING BOSS?!?!?!?!? HOW CAN THIS BE A POSSIBLE THING?!?!?! this show is generally so grounded, even in it's more out-there aspects, that this is like... what world are we in? so inappropriate and also like probably homophobic because you would not be asking this if Qian was dating a woman

are they insinuating Qian's the top/tiger? That does not go with what I want form this trope so I'm ignoring it lmfao I can do verse because I can almost always ship verse but with the younger-guy-deeply-in-love-with-and-madly-pursues-older-guy-who-is-resistant-and-conflicted trope, I like a younger top

but i think people were also annoyed about this suggestion of top Qian lmfao, I think I remember reading comments about it

ah, Lili is indeed pregnant

aw, hug before the questioning but it's like genuine, not from anger. Especially important for them because their mother was terrible and they don't want a child to go through that again obvs

pls San Pang's also here loll I think it's good the ways they were all in different rooms

the panic when Xiao Bao knelt and the 3 of them also scrambling to kneel, especially when Qian also knelt

aw, Qian really was their da-ge, father, and mother all in one

Qian's afraid Lili will follow in their mother's footsteps (pregnant then married young) and be unhappy

why is this so good T.T

I can't believe the messy sex scene from last ep and the utter bullshit that was the office scene in this ep made me forget for a bit how good this show can be

Damn, they're really saving the surgery thing for the very last few minutes. anyway ik he doesn't die because everything would've gone up in flames if that happened

omg how much timeskip, there's a whole baby now

The office discussion actually made me so uncomfortable, it was so inappropriate and unnecessary, why didn't we take that time to... just show at least a bit of the surgery and aftermath or whatever? Like that was such a huge thing in the past 2-3 eps but it just... disappears and we assume it was successful bc of the ending

Overall:

I'm so glad I got over my pseudo-incest brother-lover aversion because I can now watch this stuff in delight. Though I must say, my favourite aspect of this show is the little family trio with Qian, Yuan, and Lili, with San Pang occasionally invited as well. I loved how they cared for each other and how though Lili was left out of the romantic duo inside their trio, it didn't feel like she was forgotten or sidelined. They each had specific relationships with each of the other people, their interactions had their own flavours and it was so good.

The romance itself hm I think the development was nice, especially from Yuan's side since we saw how he thought of Qian and how he supported him and such. We also saw a bit of how Qian was so lost when Yuan was gone that even San Pang was wondering whether Qian liked Yuan and it would've been better if they hadn't sent him away. It just feels like since there was so much angst and build-up for like 10 episodes, their actual coming together should have been grander. The sex feels a bit sudden, I don't think it should've happened right after that conversation because Qian was barely ready to admit whether he saw Yuan as more romantically than just a brother, and then the editing of it all was terrible.

The surgery stuff also kinda dwindled, if they'd brought it up, I wished they would've at least shown the direct aftermath or whatever. I despised how we had the office Yuan/Qian gossip for so long in episode 12, we could've used it for better things. At least we ended with the Lili pregnancy announcement and coming together over that, which reminded me just at the end why I liked the show.

Some other things I really loved: 1) Qian's face, holy shit. Qian is so beautiful, like incredibly attractive to me, woah. Reminds me of Na Jaemin who I was also taken by when I stanned NCT; is it the lower half of their faces/their mouths? 2) The 2 scenes where Qian finds out Lili and San Pang are dating in ep 8 + finds out Lili's pregnant in ep 12 and just going to kill San Pang lol (also loved how Yuan was enjoying it in ep 8 but was helping San Pang and Lili out in ep 12 lol). 3) The episodes, especially the earlier-middle ones, were so addictive, I didn't end up reading the on-air reddit threads because I was too into watching the next ep instead of reading about it.

In the end, I don't think I'll think about it often, especially not the Yuan/Qian ship unless just to remember the brother-lover trope and even then, Kiseki's Chen Yi/Ai Di gave me more intense brainworms for a similar trope I think. I'm disappointed that I didn't love the show, its flaws are at moments that are too important. So deeply conflicted about whether to give 6 or 6.5, I'll go with 6.5 for now.

Rating: 6.5/10

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

but. like. what if ep 1 Daniel thought they were going to meet Karen.

it makes sense, you know? Sean is a slightly better liar with him than with everyone else, but that bar is still six feet under (at least in ep 1, I think he gets a little better later on) and Daniel knows something is off. he knows Esteban is supposedly off doing something, something important enough the brothers have to make their way through the wilderness and that fucking gas station on their own. obviously his first thought isn't going to be that Esteban is dead, that's ridiculous (right?) so it's clear that Esteban must be involved in something important, mysterious. and what's more important or mysterious than the outline his mom has left in their lives?

and he knows that Mom liked trips, adventures, so it makes sense that she wouldn't want to meet them in boring old Seattle. so Dad has to go get her wherever she is, maybe ease her back out of isolation, while the brothers go to meet up with them. and they're keeping it a secret from Daniel, maybe for a surprise like the Playbox, maybe because they're worried it'll fall through and he'll be disappointed. it'd make sense, especially with how on edge Sean is whenever they talk about where Dad is, Daniel knows how tense Sean always is around any Mom-related conversation, how he maybe doesn't think she'll show, so Daniel doesn't tell Sean what he's figured out, doesn't want to tick him off even more.

he just keeps his thoughts to himself, imagining what his Mom will look like, how beautiful she'll be, how happy she'll be to see them after all these years, the fun things they'll do together, how maybe Mom can help look after Mushroom because of Dad's allergies, how Mom and Dad will go back to that station and show that awful old man what's what. Daniel dances with Sean and thinks about what it'll be like to dance with their parents, both their parents. and when Sean says they have to talk about something Daniel gets a little worried, sure this is probably just Sean admitting they're going to see Mom, but what if she isn't coming after all, especially if Sean called Lyla and Daniel glimpsed him talking on the phone through the window, he'd think that maybe it's Dad calling to say it got called off and Mom doesn't want to see them at all.

so Daniel asks for a soda to stall, only to regret it as soon as Sean's out of earshot (except for screaming, but Daniel doesn't know that yet), he wants to get it over with if it's bad news and if it's good he doesn't want to have to wait anymore. now he needs a distraction and the Hawt Dawg Man episode is long since over, so he just grabs the remote and starts idly clicking through channels, not really paying attention to what he's looking at, just a bunch of boring grownup stuff.

and then he lands on the news.

[dotthings]

After warily eyeing each other and being tense all episode, Crosshair and Hunter being honest with each other!! Both of them admitting they'd made mistakes and have regrets!!! Crosshair's confession, "I thought I was getting into...I thought I was being a good soldier. I've done things." I love how that was handled. And it's not that everything's solved now but they're in a place where they can start to heal and start to regain mutual trust.

Also Wrecker being an amiably grumpy child about the difficulties of a snow planet and Echo being the only grownup in the room. True, Omega's emotional intelligence and maturity is very high considering her actual biological age, but she isn't an adult the way Echo is, doesn't have Echo's experience, and his tired grownup air.