#they're both broken boys who slowly patch each other

[istadris]

How do you think the mainverse brothers would react to the Missing Half Duo and vice versa? Like say there was a situation where Mr. L got paired with Mario and Doc with Luigi and the two groups were separated for a bit

Oh boy, I was hoping for an ask like this 8D!!

[referencing to this AU ]

For the sake of the narrative, this teaming up would happen quite a while after Dr Mario and Mr L grew used to each other and start actually settling.

But this encounter and pairing with the mainverse Bros?

To make it short : It's a MESS.

Mario and Mr L make a terrible team. Mr L has relied on himself for most of his life, then only recently started to trust Doc to watch his back, and was starting to look after him, seeing it as his job to protect "this soft-hearted idiot"; with Mario, who's used to take point and go first, it only clashes. He's much more assertive and agressive than the Luigi Mario is used to, they're both horribly stubborn, leading to all sorts of conflicts and struggles.

Mr L troubles Mario. He's always seen it as his mission to look after Luigi, and now that he's confronted with a version of his brother who had to grow up alone, he feels even more protective, to make up for what Mr L didn't have.

Mr L doesn't want Mario's protection or concern, he doesn't want him to risk his life for him (not again), it's bad enough with the Doc who's a mother hen...but at least, Doc gets him in a way mainverse!Mario never will. Only Dr Mario has an idea of the pain Mr L went through, only him knows what it's like to lose his brother. This Mario, who's happy, who's carefree, who's had his brother his all life and never had to feel guilty about, ooooh, he pisses him off!

The truth is, deep down, Mr L is scared. And as he's always done to survive, he hides his fear and pain under anger and lashes out at anyone in range.

He's faced with a Mario who's so content and stable in his life, the perfect Mario. And he know Doc is currently facing a Luigi who is more gentle, more kind, more balanced. More like his real brother. This Luigi is the better version of him, the one Doc is probably missing; Mr L is convinced that Dr Mario will prefer this Luigi to him. Why wouldn't he, after all ? Mr L is a troublesome, feral, nasty parody of the brother Dr Mario lost, who would want him as a brother?

He couldn't be further from the truth.

Doctor Mario likes Luigi. He likes everyone. He figures he would like every Luigi in the multiverse. But unlike with Mr L, he can't bring himself to get close with this other Luigi.

He looks and acts and behaves so close to how he imagines his own twin would have lived, based on his old memories...but it feels even more empty. Makes him realize that the version he imagines never grew up, may have been another person. It's so close yet so unbearably far. It's like being given a glass of water that he's not allowed to drink in the desert.

For all his similarities with his twin, Mr L is NOT his Luigi, never will be and never cared to try. Thanks to that, Dr Mario is spared of a cruel illusion, and he has grown attached to this new brother. He's flawed, he's a mess, he didn't choose him.

But what is someone you never chose, who gets on your nerve yet shares a bond no one else understands and that you love despite everything... but family ?

I want my brother back, he suddenly thinks during the adventure, and the realization that he's thinking of Mr L and not his little brother is enough to make him stop and swallow a sob, he who has always kept his emotion tightly locked where no one could see.

As for Luigi, he doesn't know what to make of this Mario who's so different from his brother. He's too calm, too passive; Luigi is used to follow after his brother's decisions, but now he's paired with someone who also expects someone else to take the lead, and it's extremely awkward, on top of the disturbing notion of being around someone while being a clone of their dead relative.

With my friends, we had discussed at some point that there might have been a moment at the beginning where, an angry Mr L might have shouted at Dr Mario :

"I'm not the brother you want, but I'm the one you deserve!"

And by the end of this adventure, he would have come to Dr Mario to apologise and confess:

"You're not the brother I wanted... but you're the one I need."

[starlightartemis]

The Lucky Batch☘️

It's a thing. This is just the beginning.

Stickers

Pepper is never short on stickers.

It becomes his thing. He says that as a medic, he can certify that stickers make everything better, so there's always a bunch of them in his medkit, on his bunk, in his pocket.

Nobody knows where exactly he gets them, and honestly? They don't really want to know.

"Yes, that broken bone might need some bacta, but you know what will make it 100% better?" Pepper will say, slapping a sticker of a grumpy frog on on his brothers' armor.

He either gets a smile, an annoyed glare or an object thrown to his face, but it never fails to make at least someone else laugh.

"Pepper, can you please come to the mess," Hazel voice speaks through the comm. "Jackal's on fire again."

The medic is already on his way, sighing tiredly. "Tell Ballast that I warned him not to try any new explosives on Jackal. I'm telling the Captain."

"Noooo," someone whines on the other side of the comm, chaos echoing in the background. "I promise it's just a little fire this time."

"Drop and roll, vod, drop and roll!"

"What do you think I'm doing?!"

The door to the mess slides open, and Pepper calmly walks into a Jackal with an arm on fire, Boots with a now empty glass of water and Ryder recording the whole thing.

"Don't worry guys," he says, approaching the flames. "I got this."

He takes the fire extinguisher clipped on his hip and aims it at the fire, taking it out. Everyone stops screaming.

"See, it wasn't that—" he starts, but as he speaks the armor on his brother's arm sparks again, raging.

There's silence, confusion. Pepper looks at Jackal, reaches for his pocket, and softly places a sticker on his forehead.

"I've done what I could," he says gently, and walks away.

"WAIT—"

"Mmmm," Jackal murmurs, annoyed, his eyes digging holes into the Raffle's helmet.

"What is it?" Boots whispers to his brother, confused, following his gaze.

"It's the new Captain," he says, his glare focused on the captain and only him. "There's something about him… something off but I can't get a hold of what it is…"

"Don't worry, I've got this," Pepper chimes in, popping from behind them with a grin.

Before they can tell him to stop, the medic dashes forward, stickers sharp in his hands, and slaps them onto the bare, new bucket of the recently appointed captain of the 37th.

He's beaming, pleased, as Raffle slowly turns to look at him, and then at the leaf stickers now stuck on either sides of his visor.

"What is this, trooper?" His tone is neutral, and there's a hint of puzzlement meddled in his controlled voice.

"Stickers, sir."

Boots facepalms in the background while Jackal tries to keep his laughing quiet.

Raffle pauses, an eyebrow quirked, and studies the leaves now decorating his armor. For a moment there's silence, and then he looks back at the medic.

"I'll allow it."

"You're welcome, sir."

"Who's this little fellow?" Boots asks, raising an eyebrow at the mechanic and the robot standing in the hallway.

"It's our new member, G00-S," Ballast pats its head, and it warbles angrily, zapping him lighty to get it off. "He's a menace. We call him Goose, the Murder Droid."

Goose chirps and turns presumptuously, his head legs kicking in approval at the nickname.

"Ah, I see Pepper got to him," the clone notices, spotting the bunch of stickers that had been placed randomly over the droid's body.

"Pepper always gets to everyone."

Pepper is standing close to the ship, keeping an eye on the mechanic inside. He doesn't get half of what his brother is muttering over the mess of wires and tools he's tinkering with, but there's a fire extinguisher nearby just in case.

"How's it going, vod?" he asks, tapping gently the medkit in his hands.

Ballast doesn't answer, his tongue sticking out as he makes the final adjustments to the panel.

"Aaaand… almost done!" he announces with a smile, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. "Come here, Peps, help me out a bit."

Pepper doesn't move, and eyes the ship's ramp suspiciously.

"I'm okay right here," he calls out, and his brother snorts.

"Don't tell me you're scared?"

"Oh, I'm not scared. I just like having two arms attached to my body, thanks."

"Come on, vod," Ballast insists, head popping up from between scraps of metal. "Jackal needs this ship to work for our next mission, and he dared me to make it extra fast."

"Why would you help Jackal have an even faster ship? Are you insane?"

"I'll give you 5 creds."

There's a pause. "Ok, but I'm bringing the extinguisher with me."

"Fair enough."

The medic sends a prayer to the universe and steps inside the ship, holding his breath.

"Hold this," Ballast tells him, handing him some wires. "Don't let them touch."

He picks them up gently and watches as the mechanic finishes working on that. After a few moments, he gives the system a nod of pride and closes it with a satisfying click.

"What do you think?" He gestures at the panels, a grin on his face.

"Mmm, I think you're missing something," Pepper concludes, and before his brother can let out an offended scoff, he slaps a bunny sticker over the console. "There. Perfect."

There's a pause, and the mechanic nods in approval.

"Yes, I think that's—"

Smoke starts coming out of the console, and a bunch of red lights start blinking furiously.

The clones look at each other, and sprint.

The medic is just passing through the barracks when he notices Thumbs sitting on the bunk. He's looking at his helmet with a frown, and once he gets nearer, Pepper sees that the paint is chipped and burnt there where he had carefully sketched the design.

His brother sighs, a thumb brushing over the ruined drawing, and doesn't notice him approaching. Wordlessly, Pepper produces two stickers from his belt, both a cartoon version of thumbs up, and places it over the damage.

Thumbs looks up, searching for words to say, but he gives him a few pats on the head and a smile before walking away.

They're all exhausted, but at least Pepper has stickers.

"Well boys, nice work out there," he says, looking at his brothers.

They're all on the floor, their bodies too stiff and tired to even move their heads towards him. There's a collective groan as the medic walks between them, looking for any serious injuries while sticks star and heart stickers over their chipped armors.

"Peps, please, I can't feel my face," Ryder says exhaustedly.

The medic wordlessly slaps a sticker on his face. "You're welcome."

"Pepper, don't you kriffing dare touch the fangs," Foxy warns, his eyes closed as he feels him approach. "It took me 3 hours to get them right, and it took one more for it to dry without being set on fire."

"What about fang stickers?" The medic asks with a grin.

Foxy doesn't move, but his lips tug upwards as he lifts his aching arm up for his twin to place them on his forearm. "I love you, vod."

"You only love my stickers, you di'kut."

It was a terrible battle.

The field is a broken mirror, with cracks and bodies spread as far as the eye can see. Pepper walks among the wounded, bacta patches and bandages clutched tight on his hands as he tends to their injuries, lips pressed together under his helmet.

There's so much blood. So much quiet.

It almost makes him sick, the way a place which was filled with screaming and explosions can now be so deadly silent.

He nods at the trooper with the head injury and moves on to the next, who lays in impossible quiet half a feet ahead. The medic kneels beside him, refusing to acknowledge the stillness of his chest, the ease of his features. He looks like he's finally resting as he checks his vitals, heart heavy, and closes his eyes.

A brother dies, and Pepper isn't short on stickers.

For you guys @maygaladon @letsunity @oo-hazel-oo @radbatch @lavenderstaars @foxlock @monako-jinn-stories @lusiawonder @lynnpaper

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

*spoilers for infinity War/endgame* Because technically Phineas and Ferb Is in the same universe of the MCU, does that mean that before the Avengers undid Thanos snap some of the PnF crew died? Imagine Doof Dying, Perry living but still visit his tower every day bc he misses him. Or Phineas and Ferb Dying, and Candace trying to bust them Just to rember they're gone.

WAIT THAT’S SO SAD O_O

I can’t stop thinking about what would happen if Heinz died. Perry would absolutely keep coming back to the tower even though there’s no scheme to thwart. Sometimes he’d run into Vanessa, who’s mourning just like he is. Her dad may drive her up the wall sometimes, but she still loved him and she would have to have a lot of regrets about how rocky their relationship had been at times. And assuming the squirrel powering Norm up didn’t die, he’d have the whole penthouse to himself for the first time. I don’t know if it’s in Norm’s programming to be genuinely sad, but I have to think that over five years of only finding companionship in Perry and Vanessa’s visits, he’d have to lose the cheerful air he always has. 

In fact, I think a lot of OWCA and LOVEMUFFIN would be fucked up. Only about 25% of nemesis pairs would survive, and 50% of evil scientists and agents would be left without their nemesis. There would have to be a lot of rearranging, and depending on what happens to the OWCA/LOVEMUFFIN member ratio, some agents might be without a job or some might have to double up. Can you imagine Perry taking on two evil scientists every day while he’s mourning the loss of his best friends?

And then when his day at work is done, he’d have two choices: he could go to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc and not be met with Heinz’s self-assured monologuing, or he could go to the Flynn-Fletchers (it would be difficult to call it “home” now) and constantly be reminded that his boys are gone. I would like to think that both Linda and Lawrence get to stick around, but they’re no substitute for Phineas and Ferb.

Much like Perry’s dream in Phineas and Ferb Get Busted, Candace would be heartbroken. She wouldn’t know what to do with herself if she wasn’t busting the boys. It really is the only thing she’d focused on all summer, and if they just up and disappeared one day, she’d be so lost. I have to imagine that either Stacy or Jeremy would also get snapped away -- the odds that all three would live would be slim to none -- so she’d also be mourning the loss of at least one of the closest friends. Assuming one of them survived, I imagine she’d lean on them for support more than anyone, but they’d be dealing with losses in their own family, too -- they both have at least one parent and a younger sister; I imagine at least one person in their family wouldn’t make it. 

I think Candace would really hold a grudge against Perry at first because he reminds her of them. Perry’s used to her being rude -- and it’s not exactly a one-sided thing -- but never to this extent, and I think he’d take that as a sign that maybe he shouldn’t come home. He doesn’t want to sleep in Phineas and Ferb’s empty beds, anyway. It would make it easy to embrace a second nemesis at OWCA, even if he feels numb the whole time, but he’d still need somewhere to go when he’s not working, and I think he might make himself at home at DEI, at least at night when he needs somewhere to sleep. He’d be careful not to disturb anything because even though he knows Heinz is gone, he can’t stop hoping that maybe one day he’ll come back, and Perry doesn’t want to move anything for when that day comes. Even after five years, whenever he pays DEI a visit, he touches nothing but the coffee maker and the bed. 

I think eventually, though, Candace and Perry would have to be reunited. It’s a small town; they can’t stay away from each other for long. Maybe it’s Perry who takes initiative, going back home for the first time after a month just to see how everyone’s doing. Obviously everyone’s still broken up about it, but it’s been long enough that people have to start moving on and living their lives without their loved ones, no matter how much it hurts. I don’t think Perry would have gone home to see Candace, but I think once he did, he wouldn’t want to leave. And for once, I think Candace wouldn’t want him to leave, either. Yes, Perry reminds her of the boys, but so does everything and everyone else. But having him disappear within days of the boys turning to dust just left another hole in the household, and it helps to have back the only one who misses them like she does.

I think the gang would absolutely fall apart. They had nothing in common before Phineas and Ferb brought them together that summer, and with them gone, there’s no one to unite them anymore. I don’t think it would be a conscious decision, but I think they’d slowly stop spending time together and that eventually it would be almost like that summer never happened. I even think Buford would stop bullying Baljeet, even as a friend, because it just feels wrong now. They wouldn’t know how to cope without Phineas and Ferb, and it would tear everything apart.

I think the Fireside Girls would grow closer, though. I think Isabella would become much more focused on getting her patches because it’s something to take her mind off the pain and she wouldn’t have to think about the fact that she never got to tell Phineas about her crush, and I think the girls who survived would know what she was doing and they would do their best to help her. I think there’d be a lot of heart-to-hearts and a lot of tears, and maybe they’d expand their duties to try to help others who are struggling the same way they are, even if the best they can offer is some sort of distraction. 

And as heartbreaking as it is to think about what would happen when they’re all gone, I can’t even imagine what would happen when they come back. Maybe Perry’s at DEI with 21-year-old Vanessa -- a whole ass adult now -- and Norm, sitting together quietly or reminiscing about the past and bam, Heinz appears in the middle of his lab. I think that might be the first time anyone ever sees Perry cry -- and I mean full-on sobbing; he’s been waiting for this day for five years but he never actually thought it would happen. It would be such a nice, happy reunion, and I can’t even imagine how much it would mean to Heinz to know that Perry stuck around for five whole years waiting for him when he knows that everyone else has abandoned him the first chance they got. 

And then they’ve notice how loud the tower is and how busy the streets are and they’d realize that Heinz isn’t the only one who came back, and Perry would give Heinz a big hug before running out the door to see if Phineas and Ferb came home. Heinz wouldn’t understand at first -- why would Perry wait around for five years just to leave within 10 minutes of Heinz coming back? -- but Perry had spent enough time with Vanessa lately for her to know that he has a family back home. That would just make Heinz feel even better. Perry lost his two boys and he still spent so much time here.

Phineas and Ferb would be so disoriented. One second they’re building a giant disco ball, the next they’re standing in an empty yard with no friends, tools, or disco balls in sight. They’d head inside to ask their parents if they knew where Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet went, and their parents would start crying because the boys are back! After all this time, their boys are finally home! and Phineas and Ferb wouldn’t understand why they’re suddenly being given the biggest bear hugs of all time but they wouldn’t protest. And then Perry would run through the door, almost like he somehow magically knew he’d find them, and he’d stay by their side all day, only leaving (after a day full of snuggles, obviously) to go back and visit Heinz. OWCA and LOVEMUFFIN would have a lot to sort out, so he’d hopefully get at least the next couple days off to spend with his family -- both the Flynn-Fletcher family and the Doofenshmirtz family.

Candace would probably be at school -- she’d be 20, after all, and probably at a college dorm a ways away from home. Maybe shed get a call from her mom, sobbing, telling her that her brothers are back. Or maybe someone in her dorm would start screaming and telling everyone who will listen that her dad is alive and her dad’s been dead for five years and this is the best news she’s ever gotten, and soon the entire school (and probably the entire world) is on their phone calling around to see if their own families and friends are okay. The phone lines wouldn’t even be able to handle all this, and the streets would be a wreck with people trying to get to their loved ones. 

And can you imagine what it would be like for Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet to see them again? They’d be 13-15 years old at this point, and Phineas and Ferb would still be in elementary school. The boys may be mature for their age, but I have to imagine the five-year age difference would create a major rift in their friendship if they tried to go back to where they used to be. If Isabella still had remnants of a crush on Phineas, it would probably stop the moment she remembered that he’s just a little kid, and she’d have to figure out how to cope knowing that her former best friend (and first crush) is back but that they’re at such different standings in life now. Hell, Phineas and Ferb are probably closer to Little Suzy Johnson’s age than to Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet’s. I think it would really mess with Phineas and Ferb to see their friends so much older and more mature, especially because to them, they’d just been kids building crazy things the day before. 

Once again, I think the Fireside Girls would be fine. They probably would have taken in some of the Lil-Sparks-turned-Fireside-Girls like Melissa (not Chase) into their troop to make up for lost members, so the varying ages would be nothing new; they’d just be happy to have their friends back.

tl;dr I think the snap would be heartbreaking and the reunion would be bittersweet and this is the woRST ASK I’VE EVER GOTTEN AND NOW I’M GONNA CRY IN A CORNER FOR A FEW HOURS /j

[sorcererinthestars]

The crew arrive at a safehouse a little scraped up but otherwise all in one piece, only to realise this one doesn't have a cuddle bed it's all separate rooms with beds. They all kind of put off going to bed for a bit (nobody wants to be first to admit they can't sleep alone anymore) until somebody says they're too tired to get up and are just gonna sleep on the couch, which everybody jumps on as well because that's the closest to their big bed they're going to get here. (1/2)

(2/2) They try it for an hour or two but it’s so small and uncomfortable, everybody’s squashed together and a couple people are balancing awkwardly on the arms of the couch. Eventually Jack just says fuck it, goes to collect all the blankets and pillows from the bedrooms and gets everyone to help her push the couch and furniture out so they can all just lie in a big pile of blankets on the floor. It’s not the most comfortable night but they all get asleep at least while tangled up together.–

Had to take a stab at writing something up, this is so damn sweet. Forgive the rambly nature of this. It’s (not even) late and I’m tired too... yawnnn...

Also so sorry about formatting... Grrr tumblr...

It’s past midnight by the time they arrive at the safehouse by Chilliad. They’d drove for two hours at least, fleeing away from the scene of police helicopters and screaming officers and wailing sirens. They’d taken three different cars. It had taken two agonizing, nail-biting hours to get them here.

But they had all made it. Stumbling into the safehouse, Geoff turned to slam and bar the door, finally taking his first deep breath of the night. No one had been to this tiny shack for a long time, but like all their safehouses, it was well stocked with nonperishable food items, med kits, and since they made sure all the bills were paid, the heat kicked on, the lights worked, and they had water.

Frankly, it was as good as they were going to get for a panic house way out here. Michael’s the first to collapse on the shitty couch, grabbing a heat pack and putting it on his ankle with a sigh. “…fuckkk,” he whines, “I think I sprained something.”

“You jumped out of my helicopter before it hit the goddamn ground,” Jack growls, shaking her head but falling beside him, bullying him until she could kiss his hair. With no more protest he slumps into her arms, utterly exhausted.

Geoff watches as the others slowly shed their heist guise - both literally, sliding out of armor and dropping weapons - and metaphorically, relaxing into their relative safety. Ryan’s got the worst wound, but it’s nothing major. They patch the laceration on his chest from a broken window easily. It doesn’t need stitches and they clean all the glass pieces out of the wound, binding it and giving him a few Advil for pain.

Gavin and Jeremy collapse on the floor by the couch stained with cigarette burns, leaning against the other’s legs. Gavin’s unscathed, having directed the whole thing from the safety of their mobile command center two blocks away and met the others here when the whole thing was over. Jeremy was battered, of course, but no worse for wear.

Ultimately, it was a good heist and they were lucky.

Very, very lucky. But it was getting super late and despite being jazzed up, Geoff could see how the others were lagging. Michael’s eyes were slipping closed as he leaned against Jack, who was sliding her hand through his hair.

He turns to study their bedroom situations. Ah… fuck.

“Everyone has a room,” he says aloud, gathering eyes. “Some of the Lads are sharing, but us Gents have our own small rooms.”

They stare blankly at him for a few seconds before Jeremy voices whats on all of their minds. “Alone?”

“Yeah,” Geoff says with a long sigh. “Alone.”

There’s a long silence after his words as his sleepy boys try to really figure out what this means. It had been a long heist and no one is really fully cognizant at the moment. “Don’t need to sleep yet,” Michael finally grunts, sitting up and pawing at the old television. “Someone put a movie on.”

They scramble, everyone clinging to the idea that if they put a movie on, maybe they don’t have to separate. Even Ryan, who is normally a loner, seems perfectly content with Gavin, who had crawled onto his lap and was dozing there. He’s got his hand around Gavin’s waist and is gently rubbing the exposed skin there, his own eyes partially closed.

Geoff chuckles weakly and makes his own way into the nest, bullying his way into the gap between Jeremy and Michael, pulling the last Lad towards him. Jeremy leans against him without any further protest. They’re all wiped out. They’d made millions that night, but that didn’t come without a lot of effort.

The movie starts. By the time it’s twenty minutes in, Geoff realizes he’s the last one awake. But it’s uncomfortable - Michael’s half slid off the couch, Gavin looks like he’s squishing Ryan, whose head was cricked almost over the back of the couch. He’d wake up with a killer neck ache like that.

They weren’t made for this shit. He closes his eyes again and tries to get comfortable, but right before he dozes off, there’s a huge crash that startles them all awake.

“You piece of shit, Gavin!” 

“Its not my fault, Ryan pushed me!”

“I didn’t - I didn’t fucking push you, you kneed me in the groin, you ...”

“Enough!” Jack’s voice broke through the bickering. She gazes around the room, full of sleepy, now grumpy boys. “Help me move the coffee table.”

“What?” Geoff blinks at her, his mind screaming for sleep, not understanding. Jeremy blankly stands up and starts doing what she asks, but pulled from a sound sleep, he’s somewhat wobbly. 

“If we’re not going to go to bed in our rooms - which it seems not - we should make bed here,” she announces. “Go grab your pillows and blankets and all the cushions you can find.”

MIchael’s eyes light up. “Pillow fort!” He rushes out of the room, Gavin groggily on his heels. Jeremy follows like a puppy, but he’s wearing his own grin.

.“...pillow fort?” Ryan yawns, stretching and wincing, the neck ache already settling in. “...I could be down for that.”

Jack grins and kisses him on the forehead. “Just roll onto the floor, big guy.”

It’s not long before the pillow fort is assembled, although its less of a fort and more of a nest. They pile down into it. There’s not a ton of supplies to keep them off the floor, but it’s a lot more cozy than the ragged ass couch. And as they all manage to snuggle up together, pulling each other into a little heap, it becomes obviously worth it.

Geoff pulls Jack and Ryan close and kisses both of their heads, taking a brief look to see the Lads cuddled close to the others. “Good night, gang,” he hums. A chorus of small goodnights come back, and a few snores. 

They may be uncomfortable and a bit strained, but Geoff wouldn’t have it any other way. Tomorrow he’ll have to make a few phone calls.... some of this heist money may be going into getting a few more safehouses outfitted with one of their premium beds.

But, he purrs, snuggling down into his nest of warm bodies - that was a problem for tomorrow. 

[cinnonym]

All of you:

Me: Oh, sure you can have that SQ fic from Robin Hood's POV, absolutely no problem, here you go:

The sheets are impossibly soft as I shuffle against them, soft and silky and way too comfortable for me to find sleep in. Years of making camp on mossy patches in the forest, never completely bare of sticks that press against the back at night, have accustomed my body to rough, imperfect underground and even the few nights I've actually spent in taverns or inns couldn't have prepared me for the luxury of this world. Thick bouncy mattresses and materials called polyester or elastane are as foreign to me as the twangy accent the people from the first curse have. Even Regina has picked it up, the tendency to pronounce the Rs like nobody did back in the Enchanted Forest, sharp and rolling, like stones scraping.

I groan as I turn to my side, a sudden pain shooting through my spine. The caving bed is poison for my back, but Regina loves it like that, enormous and fluffy for her to sink in. Her body is but a silhouette in the dark, the moon shining just bright enough through the shades for my eyes to make out the curve of her hip, pronounced even through the thick blanket. Regina is facing away from me, curled into herself like usual, breathing heavily and unevenly. Her hair is splayed over her pillow, gleaming black against the white and if I leaned over I would see her eyelashes painting a similar shadow against her cheek. She really is magnificent, even in her brokenness, and I have to remind myself again that she's not mine to fix.

As if she heard my thoughts, Regina starts murmuring. She's doing that a lot these days, almost every night, at first quietly, making it impossible to understand her words, than growing louder and louder still until she's screaming. It's always the same routine, and it's always the same couple of sentences: "No! There has to be another way." Sobs. And then "I love you."

It has taken me a while to figure out the meaning of it all. At first I was flattered, thought she meant me, thought this was her way of telling me what she couldn't say at day. At first I thought the eerie déjà vu I got from the phrasing, the feeling to have heard Regina say those exact words before, came from unconsciously listening to her while sleeping myself. Until Emma crossed my way through town, smiling wearily in the arms of her boyfriend, a faint shadow of the vibrant person I had met when I first came here. Now rings have formed under her eyes, almost identical to those Regina has after a particularly hag-ridden night.

Almost a year has passed since the blonde became the Dark One, since she more or less jumped into the black vortex that enclosed Regina and thrust the dagger forward, tethering her soul to it forever. Except forever apparently doesn't apply to saviours because barely two months later Emma got rid of the darkness already and, except for the incident in the realm we call Underbrooke, has lived fairly normally since. Most people have already forgotten about the time of Dark Swan, even I find it hard to remember that particular period sometimes. Hell, even Emma has seemingly forgotten most of it, though Regina claims she's still dealing with the aftereffects of wielding that huge amount of power and fighting not to succumb to it.

And there lies the problem really. Regina is the one still thinking, still worrying about the darkness affecting Emma. Regina is the one still dreaming of the night Emma sacrificed herself and Regina is the one still regretting not to have acted, not to have told Emma what she now cries out almost every night.

"I love you," Regina sobs next to me and some weeks ago my heart would have clenched. I was furious, sad, confused, most of all shocked. Soulmates are said to be an insurance of kinds, your true love, presented to you in a flourish, nicely wrapped in tattoos and pixie dust. They're not supposed to be in love with someone else, they're supposed to be your perfect match.

One week and four nightmares after my realisation, I had enough. When she started murmuring again, I seized her shoulders, shook her awake in tears, demanding answers.

"What are you even talking about," she mumbled, still half-asleep, and she was confused herself about the wetness on her cheeks and pillow. I stopped asking her after that, it was clear she knew less about what was going on than me.

And still the dreams continued, startling me awake when I managed to find sleep for once, until my body learned to stay awake during the hours when they usually occur. I tried to comfort Regina, but she slapped my arm away, thrashing around until I retreated into my half of the bed, at which point she curled back into herself and returned to sobbing. I tried to talk to her about what she saw at night in the mornings, only to find that though she awakes grouchy and tired she's entirely oblivious to the reason for it. There was nothing I could do for her, except hoping she would get better soon.

She didn't and so, for her own good, I have to let her go.

Everything is planned. I met Emma the other day, asked her in Regina's name to stay over at the mansion, told Regina that Emma asked for a sleepover. Only by making each believe it was the other's wish, I could convince them both to agree, and now Emma is sleeping in the guest's room across the corridor.

I fold back the heavy covers and tiptoe to the door. Regina's still crying behind me and for a moment I feel a pang of guilt for leaving her like this. But then the "I love you"s begin again and I know that for her and also my own sanity I have to go.

So I slip out of the door, leaving it slightly ajar, and make my way to Emma's door. I've already lifted my hand to knock, when it swings open and there's Emma, hair tangled and clearly just awoken, nonetheless staring at me with the urgent look she only gets when either Henry or Regina are in danger. Henry or Regina and oh, I should have understood it way earlier, but I've been blinded by pixie dust and a fairy's promise.

"Is that Regina crying? What are you doing here? Does she need help?"

For someone who threatened to hurt anyone who dared to wake her up before nine in the morning, Emma seems very harmless in her spate of questions. However, the force with which she pushes me away is to be reckoned with and it confirms me in my belief that I'm doing the right thing by stepping aside and playing the helpless boyfriend.

"I don't know what's happening. She started crying and screaming, but she won't wake up, do you know what to do?"

Just as I anticipated, Emma all but runs through the door, not even hesitating at the threshold as she would normally, wary to set foot in private chambers. But not now, not when Regina needs her help, and she kneels beside the bed and takes Regina's trembling hand, whispering soothingly words I can't make out. Miraculously, Regina calms, sobbing quieter until finally, she stills.

"Emma?" She suddenly murmurs, half-asleep yet but quickly coming to. I didn't expect this but it fits quite well with my plans, exceeds my hopes to be at least stooge for my soulmate's happy ending.

"I'm here, Regina," Emma whispers back, softer than I've ever heard her talk, and she strokes Regina's sweaty brow and caresses her cheeks. I can only see her profile but the devotion in her eyes is clear as day and it is time for me to leave.

Silently, using all my skills as a thief to not disturb the two women, I turn around and head towards the stairs. Except I'm stopped before I can reach them, by a pale hand and Henry's tousled shock of hair.

"I heard Mom scream," he says under his breath, the same urgency in his voice as in Emma's before. "Is she alright?"

"She will be," I reply, "Emma is with her."

Henry calms, then looks at me with eyes far too wise for a boy of his age and nods solemnly.

"Robin Hood, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. You were never one to keep treasures for yourself."

I shrug, refusing to look back to the door that's still slightly ajar, and smile wistfully.

"You know she was never mine to begin with."

"See ya around Robin," Henry says after a pause and we both know this is goodbye. I will come back to the mansion, but if everything goes according to plan, it will never be the same again. I hope that Regina and I can be friends, were still soulmates after all, but I also feel that my heart will need time to heal before I can see her with Emma.

"Bye Henry. I'll send Little John to pick up Roland tomorrow morning."

Henry looks back at the smaller boy, allowed to sleep on a folding bed next to Henry's. He lies with a blissful smile on his face and I feel the familiar tug of guilt about forcing him to grow accustomed to yet another difficult family situation.

"He'll be fine," Henry whispers and I finally turn and descend the stairs. The front door is locked and I use my lockpicks to make sure it is again after I let myself out. Storybrooke's streets are deserted as I slowly make my way home to the woods.

The next day I get a message from Henry, the phone Regina talked me into pinging obnoxiously loud in the peaceful silence of the trees. I flip it open and the screen comes alive with the photo the boy sent me. It shows Regina's bed and on it two women, one blonde and one brunette, curled into each other. It's hard to make out in the pixels but it looks like both are smiling. Underneath, Henry just wrote two words:

"Thank you."