#they're both about the same height isn't that wild??

[itsbasicallycanon]

i did it

[slythereen]

i want to discuss how charles is allegedly only 1.5cm shorter than max yet in the photos of them talking to that f4 driver (and on many other occasions), max looks so much taller and broader?? i know charles is a professional athlete and he’s not tiny at all but why does he make himself smaller like that all the time. like what is going on there. just a lot to unpack there psychologically.

i mean ... okay, with max leaning like he is, i guess an argument can be made for him looking taller. idk about much taller. i was actually just thinking about this recently when i saw something on twitter and now i'm going to go on a wild goose chase trying to remember which exact photo it was about, probably

but in the meantime! since we have so much content to study !!

charles has his chin tilted up a little bit here, but he actually looks marginally taller. i think, based on google's profiles at least, they're allegedly both 180. i do think max might actually be a wee bit taller, as suggested by evidence #2 (where max is, predictably, leaning again). onwards!

if you look at this other photo from the same moment as evidence #2...

max looks much taller again, but you can see that charles is learning / has his weight shifted.

a lot of messy angles here and charles is sitting down/leaning over for some of it, BUT, that lower left hand corner where they are both mostly standing straight and the ✨pretty handshake✨ are both suggesting much closer in height.

these two mess with me because they look fairly equal in height here... in both. despite max slouching impressively in the second. i can only conclude that charles is slouching more than it looks like he is, bc otherwise idk how to explain the science of that.

okay so max slouches and charles leans. and then max straightens and charles slouches. ????

mirroring each other's horrendous posture. okay. still looking roughly the same height. pls straighten up.

this seems better. max still has a knee bent a bit, so may be slouching a little. charles looks like he's standing straight, finally. max a smidge taller?

obligatory padel date, because they are conveniently next to each other. both leaning embarrassingly, charles actually looks a bit taller??? but also looks like he is leaning slightly less than max, which would explain it. additional hair floof may also contribute.

okay but charles is leaning significantly more than max, who looks like he is standing straight. and they appear to be the same height here. which... would mean charles is actually a smidge taller, minus the lean? math is not mathing.

conclusion: this information is simply information the world does not want us to have. charles isn't as short as people make it seem, i think, he just... slouches? or something??? like i swear sometimes it looks like he's standing straight but i'll see him next to someone i know he is as tall as / taller than (based on other photos) and be like wait. he must he slouching or something.

lbr there is one undisputed fact and it's that max is broader. like... charles isn't really the delicate slender that he gets characterized as, but he is leaner than max methinks. this is clearly important research.

[asharkapologist]

mini rant about Julia Brine's wasted potential

hi. I am back with even more Ad Astra stuff, this time with something to complain about. I'm hardly the first person to talk about this, but it's something that's bothered me ever since I played The Conspiracy. Spoilers under the cut.

Julia Brine is so underdeveloped and underused compared to her fellow Ad Astrans -- she's literally the only one of them who doesn't get a quote on the wiki page -- and Pretty Simple did not always use her screen time well. I don't hate Julia or anything, but she ranks as my second least favorite of the main five Ad Astrans (we don't talk about the junior Ad Astrans), not because I don't like her but because there's so little to work with. Note that this isn't a character analysis of her or anything, just complaining about how she was written.

She is introduced SO late in the game, for one. We literally see Louis in the first case in the entire game on video, are properly introduced to him in the second district and he pops in and out a few times throughout the districts, are introduced to Bateman in the second district even if he goes away for a while, are introduced to Rozetta in the first case of the third district and she is extremely important to the rest of the game, and are introduced to Warren halfway through the game, and although Warren doesn't have as much of a presence as the other three initially, he does a lot in Newmark. But Julia isn't introduced until the 8th district, and she barely does anything in Newmark compared to the other three. I feel like they definitely could have woven her into the game earlier somehow. Maybe her company has some shareholders in the Financial Center, or she's invited to some events in Maple Heights or something. I don't know, they surely could have done something to make her relevant before the third to last district!

Speaking of which, her story is so rushed in Spring Fields. That district was juggling Mia's story, the Fornax plot, and Bateman's reintroduction. I think that Mia's story was handled pretty well, but the same cannot be said for Julia. Her plot was chilling-- burn the fields, then distribute corn she'd been growing laced with drugs to brainwash and mind control the population through their food. But it's also over by the halfway point of the district and she's unceremoniously dumped in prison and swapped for Bateman, who the team focused on. I feel like the Fornax plot should have been the entire district, with Mia's story being in some other district or somehow tied to Julia's. You can release Bateman from prison, sure, but have him and Julia's stories combine somehow, so it doesn't seem like you're just abruptly ending one Ad Astra story thread and swapping it for another.

And finally, Newmark, the biggest bit of wasted potential. I've heard people say that Julia should have survived the blast and been a suspect in Blaze of Glory instead of Joe, but I think if they did that, then Joe would be pretty underdeveloped, since he also appeared sparingly up until that point, plus they were kinda setting up something with him starting in Reap What You Sow, and I feel like him surviving the neohumans initially and being in Blaze of Glory makes sense logically with the way his character arc was going in Newmark and wouldn't have made sense if Julia was there instead. Either way, lose-lose situation, I guess. She kidnapped Jake and Carter, yes, but Ad Astra is more of a felt, not seen, presence at the start of Newmark. They're mostly running and hiding then (while still managing to hurt and traumatize people in the process because that's what they do best sorrynotsorry). But the fact that. The ONLY thing that Pretty Simple could figure out to write for Julia in Reap What You Sow. Is having her be in love with Christian "I fantasize about torturing women and brutally murdered a woman for rejecting me and enjoyed it" Bateman is WILD. WHAT?! Joe and Rozetta both were vital to the plot of that case, but Julia? She did nothing! The only thing she did was talk about how she was in love with Bateman but he insulted her! How on EARTH is that a good use of her limited (because you don't talk to her in the AI) screen time?! Yes, I know that unfortunately, some women do fall in love with murderers. But like.... seriously??? Pretty Simple couldn't think of another way she could have had strife with Bateman?? That's it??? Of all the characters she could be in love with.... him?? Meera is cursing her out somewhere.

And then of course, she agrees to fight with Joe and then later with Rozetta against the neohumans. Joe initially proposes the idea, saying Julia was already on his side regarding the idea, and you have to work to find and convince Rozetta to do so, once again pushing Julia aside in favor of Warren and Rozetta being developed. It's nice that she agreed with Warren to fight against the neohumans, but that agreement happened completely off-screen, with no conversation with her one-on-one. And then she dies in an explosion unceremoniously. The end.

It's unfortunate. They really could have done a lot with her, but just....they kept pushing her aside in favor of other members of Ad Astra throughout the game and did not always use her screen time wisely. She could have done a lot more and been a lot better.

Thanks for reading!

[pastelmusings]

Newest OC so I can start building up my repertoire. So have some really messy headcanons (or just canons—?) about both him and his species, as usual pls interact or ask questions or anything ^^

Meet Ellis! He's a young dove hybrid prince (design loosely based off a wild pied ringneck dove, and I will draw a character sheet for him later cause he's a cutie), part of a sub species of Columbidavien hybrids known as Topeliaviens

-

• For appearance he's really pale (not allowed outside), with round brown eyes, big white and light brown wings, and the same colored hair, and he's like 5'3

• His species generally stays pretty small (average male height 5'4 or so, female being closer to 5'8) and has a general lifespan of 65

• He's a complete utterly sheltered mess

• Spent most of his life kept separate from pretty much everybody, so he latches onto people quick, and is real easy to get taken advantage of...

• Doesn't actually have any political power, since he's like the third son and it's basically a matriarchal species anyway

• Lots of bird tendencies

• Nesting, preening, courting, cooing and chirping, poofing up when trying to look big and intimidating (despite really just looking like a little ball of particularly loud angry fluff)

• His species mates for life and become really depressed when separated, which does shorten their lifespan

• Excessive stress also shortens their lifespan

• They're just a really fragile species—

• Though with the dimorphism in the species the women are bigger and general stronger and less likely to just die at the first inconvenience

• The males also need less sleep, and have a natural inclination to scatter sleep for a hour or so at a time so they can be hyper alert

• They can mate with non-avien humans, but it's not recommend cause humans don't exactly mate for life, and breaking up isn't something they can really do—

• Horrible with direction, they absolutely don't have any homing ability like their pigeon counterparts and will become hopelessly lost real fast

• He, in particular, is kinda constantly sad and clingy, like a soggy piece of paper in living form

• Also an obsessive mess and prone to never letting his darling out of his sight

• Displays his discontent very loudly (the bird boy is going to constantly screech for an hour, making it everyones problem)

• Surprisingly very impulsive, in the sense that it's his natural instinct to fight tooth and nail to protect his love from any perceived threat

• Once spent twenty minutes fluffed up and chirping aggressively at a tree branch that kept tapping the window, and he wouldn't let you move from under him to show it was nothing

• He folds so easily

• People pleaser to the max and will cry if you're so much as slightly unhappy at him, I'm talking big watery eyes as he trembles like a leaf

• Actively hates being touch by literally everybody except his mate, and will cling to you like a second skin

• He gets kinda stupid when his instincts cloud his actions, like he'll try to bite at any hands that get too close to you and will probably accidentally smack you in the face with a wing a few different times, bit always fusses over you after

• He's obsessed with pretty shiny things and constantly gifts you both complete worthless little trinkets and priceless jewelry, expecting you to have the exact same reaction for both

• He will cherish every little thing you get him of course, even if it's just a little scrap of shiny wrapping paper (the kinda guy who'd be over the moon over getting a 'shiny box', like no babe, the gift is in the box—)

• Needs you to smell like him, he will whine and cry if you don't let him rub his head against your neck until you don't smell like anything else to his keen senses

• He'll usually 'nest' by just making a pile of all the soft things in the general vicinity and calling it a day, which happens more often if he is super anxious about you being gone

• If you don't sleep in it he'll cry

• Adhd as hell, he has the attention span of a leaf and the memory of a goldfish, also can never get anything done ever

• This is getting long so I'll wrap up by saying wings are sensitive and petting them will turn him into a poor cooing mess

• (Also despite how pretty they are, he can't actually fly because they're clipped ;-;)

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 8

having just rewatched S1 with my sister (and even while genuinely, actually looking at the screen instead of putting the show on in the background while multitasking), it is so wild to see tomjake in this season as opposed to S1. like, Jake is more or less correct here: although Ellie's meddling and Tom's own dumb moments are also to blame, it was mostly his fault that the relationship fizzled out. how far they've come, to where Tom is the rash fool and Jake is the (mostly) rootable victim...

i KNEW homegirl would be idol hunting this episode.

absolutely baller comeback from Tess. i doubt they increased the prize money from $1mil to $3mil just for this exchange, but what a power move if they did.

if anyone (in the audience) truly believes that Tom has a real boyfriend at this point...

this was a weird ass way to phrase it but okay Emily pop off i guess.

ooh, time for Yul's psychological issues? 👀

wait, isn't Emily hired by the show, not Yul? how would Yul be able to fire someone under Kristal's employment? is this just Yul firing her from the unofficial job of watching over his image, or is it a soft confirmation that Emily has been hired directly by Yul('s manager) all along?

i'm so desperate for Fiore and Alec to like each other again that i'll be happy with literally any vaguely positive note they end on, as long as it's not hating each other. i still hope that All Stars will be able to acknowledge and expand upon their relationship a little more in upcoming episodes, but if this is the end, at least we know that Alec was trying to have her back one last time.

forgive me if i'm wrong, but, would going to space really trigger someone's fear of heights? like, the "heights" are on such a high scale and there are so many other things to be worried about that i feel like your brain wouldn't really process it as "gee i'm going really high up." still, it's always interesting to see how Kristal has more of an established relationship with her (S2) campers. it makes sense, but it does seem like she's not afraid to show her bias in that way.

damn, Trevor must get paid a LOT! even if the vehicle didn't actually take them to space, it's still a huge building with many rooms that can actually fly. makes me wonder how much the producers/hosts are getting paid. (i understand this was just a joke line but it is technically canon now)

this line was only mildly funny to me, but Ally's face is great. she really hasn't had to spend any notable time around Gabby before. get ready for it, girl, because you'll probably be on the same merge tribe sooner or later.

oh dang, he's directly asking Kristal out.

this was an interesting response, especially with Kristal's later agreement to go upon hearing that they had a pool table. Kristal could have either been letting him down gently, or have genuinely not realized that this is flirting. i think it's the latter. that leaves the door open for Kristal potentially reciprocating Derek's feelings later down the line... also, where the hell is Oliver?!

Tess proves that she can be the goth gf AND the gamer gf. step aside, Ally.

they've done SUCH a good job of making Yul continuously pay for his actions this season as opposed to S2; it makes me like him way more. the fact that Alec is the one handing out the punishments just makes it all the sweeter.

ALEC DRINKS HIS RESPECT WOMEN JUICE!! (is that an outdated meme/saying at this point?)

while Jake is still mostly at fault for this conflict, i do like how they're making sure that Ally isn't just an innocent victim, too. she's stooping down to Jake's level of childishness instead of being the bigger person and handling things maturely. it makes both of them and their conflict feel more well-rounded, even if it makes them more annoying as well, lol.

Trevor was right; this particular iteration of the space challenge, at least, is bad. the fact that the Cyan team (Aiden by extension) got literally no advantages or head starts from arriving to this room first means that the first half of the challenge didn't matter at all. even if there's the Survivor saying that "it all comes down to the puzzle," the physical challenges beforehand can at least give one team a head start at looking over the pieces. as it turns out, fucking around on the ship was just a waste of time. it diminished my enjoyment of the episode a little :( (sorry for being a downer)

glad we're revisiting Aiden and Riya's relationship a little more, probably in preparation for them reuniting at the merge. given that Jake and Riya both don't like Aiden, i wonder if they could gather their allies (Ashley, Alec, Yul, Grett) to fuel an Aiden elimination soon.

Emily has to be gay right (/j)

this staging is really great at quickly visualizing the dynamics on each team, and may be foreshadowing for future events. the Yellow Team has completely shut Riya out, with Yul not even being visible, but Alec is still smiling at her from inside. not leaving the door open for Riya will actually waste Yellow's time, but they're so eager to win the challenge that they've actually made things harder for themselves. Magenta leaves the door open for Jake, with Ashley's face expectant and unobstructed, while Ally has retreated inside. despite their disagreements, the Cyan team all waits for Aiden outside, not even opening their door until he gets back. the storyboard artists for DC are a talented group!

Jake, too, is making his case for the villains' alliance.

i liked this sort of rationale from Tess; it feels in character with how they're portraying her this season. i also hadn't considered it as a reason why they would be steadily ramping up Ellie's villainy even as a pre-merge boot. but like... she's totally right.

THEY'RE SO CUTE!!!!! thank god the writers didn't decide to destroy gabbellie this season. instead, it seems to be a basis to set up something even greater...

I'M SO GLAD THAT THIS IS THE DIRECTION THEY'RE TAKING GABBY'S CHARACTER!!! i thought it would be a really good idea, but i didn't know if the writers would wind up taking that path. but it looks like we may be getting our true "explosive girl" back now that Ellie is gone, and i couldn't be more excited. i just know it's going to lead to something buckwild.

... wait what do you mean Ellie isn't doing the patreon reads? is she going to be the real returning player?!

for a somewhat disappointing challenge (for the reasons i described earlier), i'm really happy with this elimination and the direction they're taking the season. some sort of merge or tribe swap has to be happening soon, right? that next episode trailer can't come soon enough!

[littlemissmanga]

Yay! Wrecker!!

What do you think he is afraid of, other than heights?

Where does he feel most at peace?

How would he describe himself in 5 words?

How would his romantic life be? 💕

OMG I love getting to talk about him 💕

Fears:

So I think all of his fears are all based in things he can't fight with his strength and determination. That's why he's afraid of heights. I think he's also terrified of being caught out in the ocean. Both are kinda tied to the same thing on Kamino - falling off the platform and sent adrift in the sea - and both represent situations where he can't fight his way out.

At Peace:

He feels most at peace in the Marauder but not because of it, but because that's where he's had his best memories with his brothers.

WHEN they're all safe on Pabu, it'll definitely be Pabu. His favorite place will always be the heart of his home. For ultimate peace, it'll be sunset after a day of helping his community, belly full after a meal with his brothers, sister, and close friends, and if he's with someone, them in his arms as they watch the sun sink over the edge of the sea.

It almost looks like an explosion, but with none of the fear or adrenaline.

How He'd Describe Himself

Big

Strong

Hungry

Funny (Wrecker think's he's hysterical and honestly I just love that. I'd laugh at his laugh more than the joke but that's even more delightful)

Caring

Romantic Life

Wrecker would give 150% into his romantic life, and he'd live it LOUD. I don't just mean in volume - though he'd definitely talk about you enough to just about anyone who'd listen - but in action.

This man would be trying to do every sweet thing he can for you to take care of you. There literally wouldn't be a "honey-do" list because the second you'd ask something, he'd be on it before you could blink. Acts of service are a big way for him to show he cares - he isn't the most confident when it comes to expressing himself verbally.

It's also why he loves taking you on dates. He may not always plan them thoroughly, but he definitely always picks something fun and active - picnics and hikes, physical training/going to the gym, paintball, scavenger hunts/escape rooms (he loves these a lot). But he is adaptable and if you need a quieter day or night, he LOVES getting super comfortable in PJs (preferably you in just his shirt, he goes wild for that) and grabbing every pillow and blanket you can and play board games or video games in your nest, then cuddling and watching a holofilm to bed.

As much as he loves going out to have fun, he secretly treasures the nights in, where he gets to just hold you all night for as long as he can. Acts of Service is how he communicates his love, but Physical Touch is how he receives love, so holding you close and feeling how perfectly you fit against him soothes him. He also will never get over how relaxed you are around him. It humbles and makes him proud that you feel so comfortable around him that you trust him that much.

Some NSFW below here, please read responsibly.

Wrecker is not inexperienced when you meet, but he's closer to that end of the spectrum. He's hooked up, mostly to experience it, but he didn't like that he knew his partner didn't care for him and that he didn't really care for his partner.

I can see Wrecker being demisexual but even if he isn't, he very much prefers to have a relationship of some kind with a sexual partner.

But ultimate preference is to be committed to them and them to him. He loves (LOVES) the intimacy of it, of being so connected and open with someone else. Pretty much the exact kind of vulnerable that Crosshair hates, Wrecker looks forward to experiencing with you. Over. And over.

So there are some natural challenges when you start becoming intimate, as you have to teach him how to learn your body and he doesn't have much experience to know what he likes with a partner at first. Luckily, exploring with Wrecker is fun. He's nervous - he doesn't wanna mess up and he really doesn't wanna hurt you. But with reassurance and patience, he'll come to treat it as a game - and Wrecker loves playing games, especially when winning means you both get to feel good.

He cannot get over the reactions he can pull from you. It's reassurance he needs that he's doing good. And when you confirm it with your words???? OMG his brain does stop working some times. Hello praise kink. He tries to reciprocate. It takes a while, and he struggles with saying explicit stuff, but he's got some go-to phrases he uses that just get you going, and since he knows how good that feels for him, he keeps it up seeing it's making you feel just as good.

Prefers giving to receiving but that's mostly because he's afraid to hurt you. Once he gets comfortable that you'll communicate with him and he can read you better, he let's up and will be rougher with you.

Man's a messy pussy eater. There, I said it. Absolutely feral and all over down there. He'll smack his lips when he comes up, too, so you can hear how wet he made you. Gotta make sure you're ready for him, after all.

And ya, he's proportionate, so he insists on making you cum at least once before you try penetration.

But Wrecker is incredibly sex positive and knows that PiV is not the only way. He's a HUGE fan of mutual masturbation and assisted masturbation, heavy petting and grinding, and of course, thigh riding. These aren't just "we don't have time, here's something to tide us over" for him. They're all equal ways of showing you how much he loves you and how he can use his body to make yours feel good.

He's not into power dynamics since that makes him feel distant from his partner and he is NOT into degradation at all - that's a hard boundary for him. That said, he definitely has a size kink - he loves his size and how he makes you look small and you make him look big, no matter how tall you actually are.

I can't see Wrecker as really into impact play, but he does love marking you up with love bites and seeing the imprint of his grip on your skin (once you've confirmed you're ok with it). He really likes gripping and grouping and seeing your soft skin mold to his touch.

His favorite position is cowgirl, shortly followed by you on your back, your thighs over his hips as he kneels. Both give him complete access to you and he loves watching himself slide in and out of you. Though he'll never say no to bending you over a table, especially if you're wearing a flirty little skirt. He CANNOT be blamed for wandering hands leading to more when you're wearing a tiny skirt. That's almost as bad as his shirt.

[sparkypantaloons]

School Gates

Jason wants to look just like his favourite hero for his first day of school. None other than... Aquaman?

~

“Jason, darling, are you sure—”

“I can do it.” The five year old cuts Bruce off almost immediately, tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth as his little fingers tangle in the school tie.

Bruce sighs, but hopes for the best. They’ve been practising tying Jason’s school tie all summer, in preparation for today.

"Go round the roundabout before you go through the tunnel!" Dick's eyes are wide, voice high as he darts forward to correct Jason. The younger boy steps away from him, scowling.

"I can do it!" Jason insists, twisting away from Dick. He screws up his face in concentration, eyes locked on his reflection.

"I told you—" Dick tries again

"I CAN DO IT." Jason says,loudly.

"No shouting." Bruce says from where he's been fumbling in his closet. He's trying to find something he can wear on the school run that isn't part tuxedo, part Batman.

"Jason." Dick says, in a carefully controlled not shout, advancing on the smaller boy.

"No, Dickie." Jason warns, trying to block Dick's approach. “I'm doing it—"

"Just let me—“ Dick grunts, reaching for the tie. “—help you—”

Jason tries to fend him off. "I don't need help." He growls, clutching the tie tight in one hand and trying to bat away Dick's attempts for control with the other.

"You're doing it wrong." Dick growls back, using his height advantage to try and back Jason into a corner.

Jason isn't having it, and yanks on Dick's tie as a distraction. It unravels from around the seven year olds neck.

Dick's eyes go wide, "You—"

And then they're wrestling, rolling around on the floor, grunting and shouting as they fight to gain control of the ties. Dick is taller, it's true, but at only five Jason has a lower centre of gravity, and tackles his brother round the legs. Dick crashes to the floor with a shout and a loud thump!

"Hey!" Bruce shouts, emerging from his closet in a pink Barbie hoodie he's pretty sure is Vicki's from years ago and a pair of board shorts. "Both of you!" He claps loudly. "Enough!"

"He started it!" Jason grunts from where he's now squashed beneath Dick, the seven year old furiously trying to keep his younger brother pinned beneath him.

"I did not!" Dick shoots back, but he climbs off of Jason.

Once they're both standing again Bruce groans. Their once meticulously ironed shirts are now all creased. Their previously combed hair, wild once more.

"Alfred doesn't iron your shirts for fun you know." Bruce mumbles, dragging a comb through Jason's curls whilst Dick re-ties his tie.

“Alfred says he shouldn’t ironing them at all.” Dick says nonchalantly, with a pointed look at Bruce. As though the older man’s inability to use an iron is a mortal offence.

"I want a pony tail." Jason declares, totally ignoring Bruce's grumbles about loyalty and priorities. His little head pulls backwards and forwards with the comb. “Like the merman.”

"Jason—" Bruce begins.

"Bruce." Jason says very seriously. "I want a seapony."

Bruce heaves a tired sigh. On the one hand, Jason calling Arthur a merman is utterly delightful, purely for how much it aggrieves their already grumpy, resident Atlantean. On the other hand, it pains Bruce beyond measure that Jason was so enamoured with the obnoxious hero, that he now wants the same top knot Arthur was sporting the one time Jason had met him. All of that, of course, totally disregarding the fact that Jason’s hair is not even remotely long enough for a top knot, and that the best Bruce can manage with his youngest’s curls is more of a palm-tree looking disaster on the top of his head.

“Why do you like Aquaman so much anyway?” Dick asks, licking his hand and smoothing his own hair into place. Gross, Bruce thinks. He thought he’d broken Dick of that habit.

“He can talk to sharks.” Jason says simply. “I bet he can beat the whole Justice League in a fight.”

“Excuse me?” Bruce splutters. “Aquaman can’t beat any of us in a fi—”

“He can SPEAK to SHARKS.” Jason says loudly, but there’s a mischievous twinkle in his eye and the corner of his mouth curl up in a smile. “A shark could just eat a bat and go CHOMP.” He turns under Bruce’s hands, wraps himself around the man’s leg, begins pretending to eat him.

“CHOMP!” Dick adds, because he clearly thinks this a great idea, and then he’s on Bruce’s other leg too, the pair of them in terrible Australian accents, chomping and yelling that ‘bats aren’t friends, they’re food’.

“Why did I have children?” Bruce groans, though it’s only half hearted. Exhausted as he is, he’d take Batman being second best to Aquaman, as long as he’s always number one to these two little monsters.

~

It takes him at least another half an hour to get the boys ready for school and looking at least half way civilised. By the time they’re nearing the school gates, Jason is practically buzzing with excitement. He’s wanted to go to school, since Dick started.

“Okay, bye!” He says loudly, trying to slip out of Bruce’s hand, as soon as the gates are in sight.

“Err not so fast, chum.” Bruce says, clinging tightly as Jason starts to try and writhe out of his grip. “Don’t I get a hug good-bye?”

Jason lets out an enormous huff, but waits patiently as Bruce squats down to his level.

“Be good.” Bruce says, because Jason is good but he’s also totally bonkers. “And remember Dickie is there too if you need him—”

“I won’t.” Jason says confidently.

“Rude.” Dick pouts.

“—and listen to what your teachers tell you, and make sure you eat all your fruit and carrot sticks, and—”

“B, it’s okay.” Dick says, putting a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “We’ll be finished really soon.” He turns to Jason knowingly, “B’s sad because he’s gonna have to spend all day without one of us for the first time ever.”

Bruce clears his throat, begins re-tying Jason’s laces. He was not expecting a seven year old to have dropped that kind of knowledge on him.

Jason’s eyes widen and he pats Bruce on the head. “You can play with my Legos if you get bored.”

Bruce laughs at that. “Thanks bud.” He ruffles Jason’s hair. “Have fun, go learn something.”

“Bye, B.” Dick says, pecking Bruce on the cheek before skipping off towards the gate.

Jason watches him go, then leans into Bruce’s ear. “Bye boodad.” He whispers, because he’d never let Dick catch him still calling Bruce that. Then he skips off too, without a backwards glance.

Bruce watches them go, heart aching bittersweet, feeling just a little bit lost.

~

“If you think you’re going to spend everyday the boys are at school just sulking Master Wayne, you have another thing coming.” Alfred says down the phone, as Bruce makes the walk to school for pick-up. He’s still wearing the Barbie hoodie and board shorts.

Bruce huffs. “I haven’t been sulking.” He replies moodily. “I was brooding, it’s very different.”

He can practically hear Alfred roll his eyes. “Indubitably.”

“Do you know Jason’s favourite member of the Justice League is Arthur?” Bruce says, voice edging into a moan. “Arthur.” He says again. “The only way that’d be worse were if it were Hal.”

“Or Oliver.” Alfred replies, laughing at the Bruce’s horrified silence. “Why don’t you introduce him to Diana. I’m sure she’d sway his affections.”

Bruce grumbles something about wanting to be Jason’s favourite, before promising to call back with what the boys want for dinner.

Moments later there’s a squeal from the gates and Jason and Dick are charging him. Jason practically climbing Bruce’s legs to sit on his hip.

“Hi!” He says breathless.

“Hi chum!” Bruce grins, squeezing the five year old tight, before ruffling Dick’s hair. “What’d you learn today?”

“I did a painting!” Jason says excitedly, pulling it out of his little satchel. “Look!”

It takes Bruce a moment to figure out who the painting is of. There are three strangely formed stick figures, two with black hair and one with white hair. Then a third figure with big black wings and finally what is, inescapably, a merman. Bruce’s smile suddenly becomes very fixed.

“It’s lovely.” He says, ignoring how Dick is sniggering by his side. Then he fishes his phone out of his pocket, and shoots off a quick text.

Diana, free for dinner at mine tonight? —B

Chapter One can be found here.

[vidavalor]

Hello! I love your metas (they're always incredible and very insightful, even if I don't agree with you on some stuff) and I was wondering if you had any thoughts about one line Shax says in 2.01: "I am now Hell's representative in London" (it's been rotating in my head for weeks, help).

If you don't have anything to say/have already said something about it I'm truly sorry (genuine)

Once again I absolutely *adore* your metas, they are the light of my day and occupy a frankly embarrassing part of my brain-

Stay safe and have a nice day/night!

Hi! Nice to meet you. Thank you for the kind words. :) *pours hot chocolate* Sorry that this one took me a little while.

Why is that line from Shax such a little niggle in the old brain, eh? It's funny that you mention it because it took me a little while to realize why it was standing out for me as well when I was first watching the season because it, objectively, isn't that wild a line. It's establishing who Shax is in the story and why she's here on this bench talking to Crowley, right? But then you kinda realize that her sitting up so straight there beside Crowley on the bench and being kinda haughty about her position in the Hell hierarchy has got a familiar vibe because it's calling back to Shax's kind of inverted paralleling character here...

Remember the whole "Heaven will finally triumph over Hell. It's all going to be rather lovely" bit from 1.01 and Crowley's bemused "you really believe that?" knowing that Aziraphale puts on airs in public that he doesn't totally believe when they are speaking alone. He might well believe that Heaven might triumph-- honestly, both Crowley & Aziraphale did-- but "it's all going to be rather lovely" was the absolute height of bullshit and they both knew it. So much so that it made Crowley smile at him fondly because they both know that Heaven triumphing over Hell means an eternity apart and who knows what happening to Crowley so "rather lovely" is not at all what Aziraphale thinks about any of that.

Shax, on the other hand, is super jazzed to be Hell's new Whatever Crowley's Really Long Old Job Title Was and their representative in London. She's genuinely excited about her promotion and likes life as a demon and feels her purpose is serving her master Satan, whereas Aziraphale has obviously always been more conflicted in his role as an angel serving God.

Both are sitting with Crowley on the park bench as the supernatural secret agent meeting with him in the two scenes but they have completely opposite levels of intimacy with him. Whereas the St. James Park scene in 1.01 shows how close they are and how much they care about each other, the Shax and Crowley scene on the bench in 2.01 shows that Shax has a one-sided attraction to Crowley (as opposed to the mutual thing he and Aziraphale were showing in 1.01) and that she doesn't know Crowley very well. She doesn't understand his exhaustion at the whole angels and demons thing. She doesn't know what to feed the ducks (something that Aziraphale canonically does when he magics them out of his hat in 1862 in 1.03.)

Shax is not Crowley's person and she doesn't belong on the bench with him. He can matchmake all the day long and does even in this scene a bit-- helping poor, lost Agent Fuzuli find his Azerbaijani sector chief-- but that's also the point. Agent Fuzuli has not met his new contact before the scene and mistakes him for Crowley, underscoring how Crowley is on this bench with the wrong person with Shax. Shax sits down after Fuzuli and basically has the same problem. Only, she spends the season pursuing both her demonic career goals and Crowley while ignoring that she should be feeding some ducks with Furfur. At least she knows to bring them frozen peas now.

[swifty-fox]

Still mota hockey au

Do you know who esle is on the team? You were sepaking of Curt (and Crosby?) But is there any other 100th with them

Croz is second string left ( bit of a grocery stick til he gets bumped from third to second with Douglass, then becomes a real Grinder)

Rosie's on first string with Buck (plays hard, passes well just an all around good guy)

Curt, final member of the first string trio (certified goon despite his height, sick dangle, nasty slapshot and his uppercut has claimed many a mans teeth)

^ original post of the AU but since this is no longer just a throwaway post lets talk about what these guys DO and also who else we got.

*cracks knuckles* its education time

So hockey is a pretty wild sport. it's fast paced as hell, few real breaks or stoppages. You can be playing for 17 minutes straight sometimes and this is active play. you are RUNNING (well, skating)

Basic setup of a team:

You've got your starting Goaltender. usually the older more experienced of the two and then a backup. Usually the starting goalie plays the whole game sometimes they switch off halfway through. backup tendy is there in case and injury happens or the starting tendy is playing a shit game. Usually they'll have extra reserves they can call up (One year Penguins had to pull their 4th level backup dude was literally away at college and had to be flown in. he was good but mad inconsistent)

Bucky is starting goaltender, his backup is Jack Kidd.

Then you have your defensemen. All hockey players are big bois usually. these guys are the big boys of the big boys. total number of D-men per play is 2 and usually a team will run the same combos of two because some guys have better chemistry than others. Usually theres 3-4 sets (or strings) of defensemen. They're categorized by skill level. So first string are the best, fourth would be worst/the new guys. Sometimes they'll switch it up and throw a new guy with first or second string so he can get some schooling

I think for Dmen first string we've got Alex and Demarco They're a solid set-up and Demarco plays REALLY well off Bucky they know where each other is instinctually.

Forwards First string are USUALLy the star players of any team. they're generally the faces of the franchise though sometimes the goaltenders fill that role too. Forwards also are a set of 3 instead of 2. Like I said above that trip is Buck, Rosie and Curt. Buck and Rosie are pretty standard forwards but Curt is a little unusual as he's also kind of the team goon (brawler)

generally D-men are the fighters. they don't tend to be high-scorers and yes Curt isn't as high scoring as Rosie or Buck but he's got a high assist score and is in a very respectable spot

(moment of appreciation for my fave Goon Reavo)

youve got two types of fights in a hockey game usually. one is very hot headed spur of the moment brawl. usually this is after a dirty hit and the refs try to break it up. What Reavo is doing here is more of a gentleman's fight. it's something both parties agree too and as you can see the refs still call and end to it but more when sensing when the guys are done. It's conducted in a certain way (holding the other guys shoulder) and hits are really only to the face. Fights are used to motivate the team and the crowd, to settle some tension or to warn a guy off of targeting a teammate.

I like Reaves cause he's a beast but he does it the right way, hes not trying to truly hurt anyone like some guys do.

Thats Curts job on top of scoring. he defends Gale a LOT

So Crosby is also a forward. His narrative is similar where he struggles a lot to find his groove and so he's third string with Bubbles and Murph at first. But part of hocky is knowing how to slot guys together so it's Gales idea to bump Crosby up to second string (so second in skill only to first string rosie curt and buck) and he does better there. He's with Douglas and Blakely

third string is Bubbles, Murph and Brady.

I think Babyface and Quinn are the two rookie defensemen

[royalblanket]

I'm On Observation Duty 6 height chart using the models

In order: Patient, Lumberjack, Bruxsa, Crawler/DemonLady, Banshee, Marionette, Principal, Director/Doctor, Stalker/Nixie, !!!HUGE MAN!!!, Passenger More details under cut, along with other file search rambling

I was considering a theory where Patient and Lumberjack use the same model, like so many characters here do, but not only are they drastically different heights, they actually have completely different face and hand shapes (Patient on our left, LJ on our right)

I could only find the model patient uses with the gown, even though a full model of his body exists. Apparently his swollen eye is caused by a bone? Blendshape? These things dont come with bones so he looks like this

The ladies DO seem to use the same base model though. Marionette's funky because obviously her head is different but it seems they all at least share the same legs, and are basically the same height. With the exception for Banshee and Crawler, whos only difference is how Banshee DOESNT have legs. Also she has a braid bun. Just in case you drew her with a ponytail before seeing the reference. Not like I speak from experience

DemonLady is the unnamed, unhostile intruder who's face is seen in the hospital, and can be seen shaking in the university, pool and cottage. She and Crawler use the EXACT same model and dress. DemonLady just has a seperate mesh for her horns, and I believe is bald. Another name for her is SkinnyLady_demonic, just Crawlers filename with an extension

Also Crawler's models arent named normally, they're just "Body", "HairStrands" and "Dress", making her a nightmare to find Same nightmare could be said for Director, who doesn't use the name "Leatherjacketman" for his mesh and instead has the name "MadDoctor" exactly like the Doctor does. The only difference here is the file location and Director having a mesh for his jacket collar while Doctor has his hair

Stalker is the last duplicate model. Again, same name for both him and Nixie, "SkinnyMan". Nixie also has "FrogMesh" for their spine and webbed fingers/toes. FrogMesh is in this project actually, it's just on his back so you can't see it

Being the same model from older games, which have way harder filenames to understand than this one (Most words are in Finnish) !!!HUGE MAN!!! was also a bit tough to get every piece of. He uses a bunch of default filenames (Not only are his eyes high-polyMesh, not a real name, but theres TWO meshes with that name in sharedassets4, so it has to end in -732) and then "isomies" is his head and hands. If I spoke Finnish and knew iso mies just meant huge man maybe I would've found him faster but I didn't. Now, !!!HUGE MAN!!! may be huge, but now it's finally time for the TALLEST character in this game! (Mesh wise)

Passenger is a wild one because he's got a variant texture that's used in-game, but I'm so blind I thought it was unused

Ever notice he looks weird in the Drivers car? That's because he's clean. When he's seen in Sleeping and Dining he's covered in blood, his own and otherwise. While here he's got slightly paler skin that's pristine as ever

I have no idea what the point of this is, maybe he looked weird with the blood on that camera. I'm not proficient with modding so my efforts went nowhere but I'm sure a texture swap like this isn't too difficult for the more experienced (I've already seen people modding 1)

The thing is I'm not entirely wrong about "BigHeadManVariant" being unused because a part of it is

If you didn't see the difference before, you do now. Anyway, his variant has heterochromia, but the alternate eye texture is NOT seen when he's outside the windshield. But Passenger is my favorite and God I am OBSESSED with him having heterochromia so I went and fixed the UV maps on his eyes just to see it

His mouth UV was beyond saving, and also I think I missed a pixel on the eye. But for me this is better than nothing

Adorable 𝗅̶𝗂̶𝗍̶𝗍̶𝗅̶𝖾̶ freak of nature!

Tumblr fandom for this game seems dead as hell, but I've found no one who shares the same level of interest in this franchise, so I'll keep looking. I could rant about just the files alone for hours, if this post wasn't enough of an indicator of that

[h0tpiink]

SO?? TWISTED WONDERLAND OC??? Not my MC, but a pom student!! Her name is Primrose Aurore! (it means first rose at dawn lol. or it would.)

art by me, for me! lol. anyways, I put a lot of effort into it so pls support me (by sending me good vibes. but if you want to commission me i can make a commission page or something idk)

I based her off of Belle (she went to NRC due to it being more "exciting" than RSA. lol)

PRIMROSE AURORE!!

Grade/Class: Sophomore, Class C (no.?)

Birthday: October 9th (Libra)

Height: 165 cm

Dominant hand: right

Homeland: Queendom of Roses

Club: Book club

Best subject: Animal linguistics

Hobbies: Reading, gardening, caring for others

Pet peeves: Judging, lack of common sense, bad live action remakes.

Favorite food: Roses

Least favorite food: Wild game

Talent: Reading while walking

Raised in the Queendom of roses in a smaller town, due to her being "different" (autism spectrum shenanigans, as well as ADHD) she was made a social outcast and bullied (like, egged on so that she would get angry, alienated from peers, etc. she found an escape in books! happy to read her days away, finding escapism in the stories people would tell of heroes and knights and princesses.

She was put in pomfiore because, well I originally drew this as a little self insert thingy, since I got sorted into pomfiore, but I wanna make her a legit character so I found who I could and belle seemed like a good option tbh!! Only thing we have in common though is being seen as a social outcast 💀.

This twisted version of Belle isn't too similar to the original, fun fact. As Belle's "weirdness" only goes as far as her being well red and not wanting to marry gaston lmao. So I put her on the autism spectrum, and had her "weirdness" be a general lack of social skills, issues with communication, etc. Only finding peace in fictional worlds that she imagines. She's rather awkward!! All of her life, she was forced to try to "fit in", and any time she would share her hyper-fixations or interests, she was put down and insulted, therefore she is rather shy when it comes to talking to people, and keeps her nose in a book at all times. Since she's in pomfiore, she's expected to keep a certain appearance, however, she lacks any aspect of self care, having sensory issues that don't take too kindly to it. Despite that, she's still gorgeous (i don't expect the og belle to have very many skincare routines. lol. so her beauty was just from washing her face with water (possibly dirty water lmao)). She gets all hyper when talking about her books though, her smile lights up the room when she talks about the prince who wakes the princess with a kiss, or the battle scene between the two dragons, one fighting for good and the other evil. Curious lady!! always poking her head where she's not supposed to, ending up in situations that could easily be avoided if she just kept to herself. nosy. Is always looking for quiet places to read in peace. She often finds herself in isolated locations that have a surreal feeling to them.

still working on her unique magic, tho o7

ANYWAYS. SHE'S HERE!!

She's pals with Epel( both of them are pushed by vil to care for their appearances. Prim has it a bit worse off though, as the sensory is too much for her 😭). Prim and Epel have an alliance since they're both country bumpkins. However, Vil is tough on both of them. She and Epel are in the same spot as beauties that need refining.

Vil is like another mother to Prim. Vil often makes sure that she remembers to do her skincare etc. Vil is harsh on her when it comes to self care, but he knows that she has a hard time with it, so he tries his best to accommodate for her struggles. Prim cares a lot for Vil, and confides in him with her daily struggles, and Vil is happy to listen since he knows that it makes her a lot easier to deal with in the morning.

she's in the same class as floyd leech. Despite being a little afraid of him, they surprisingly get along. Floyd is sometimes happy to listen to her gush about her current hyper-fixation, thinking it's funny how such a reserved and quiet girl can end up so excited over something so silly.

She often bumps into Malleus while looking for quiet spots to read, or when she's poking about school grounds. At first she was scared of him, but then learned that he's not so bad, and that he would listen to her gushing about her books. Eventually, she'd gift them to him to read. (she's happy he's not as scary as she thought he was. after all, judging a book by its cover is bad.)

[pulim-v]

I will answer your ask tomorrow on account of the post limit hitting (2 days in a row 😭) but I have oh so many questions about your ocs. Hopefully these aren’t too many I’m just so unhinged about them. It’s like asking a show creator about my favorite show (which doesn’t exist yet.)

Mist - 2,6,9

Rowan - 17,20 (this question will come up more than once it’s so arghhh) 23

Dew - 32,40

Spark - 6,15,20

Fern - 4,11,20,27

Octavia - 29,41

Agate - 20, 22, 10

And 4 Magoo, D and E

Again I’m sorry lmao you don’t have to answer all these if you don’t wanna

I think you can post now lmao it's already hit midnight where the Tumblr servers are

Mist:

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

I'll say this a lot but depends ENTIRELY on the point of the story we're at. He retains the exact same sense of humor, but post-arc Mist is a lot more comfortable openly laughing (you can see if Mist is actively trying to hide his emotions if you can't see through his glasses and he's blushing intensely)

6. Does your character think laws are immobile or flexible?

Pre-arc Mist is an actual fucking Narc in real life he'd call the cops on fucking jaywalking (in-universe that isn't a thing). Post-arc he thinks they're a little bit more flexible but he still thinks people should ultimately respect the law unless lives are on the line

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

Not really, at least not often. Honestly his first swear word was probably said without him knowing what it meant and he still remembers it, because he's embarrassed both that he said it and that he didn't know what it meant.

Rowan:

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

Not usually, but comments regarding his height (especially ones that say he looks like a kid) really hit him where it hurts

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do it?

Choosing Rowan for this question is so arng arng arng arng

"I don't get what romantic love is. I mean, first off I don't feel it, but it's hard to conceptualize as well. It seems different than platonic love because it usually involves things like constant physical affection, gifts and dates, though those things are present in families and friendships too. I guess there's the element of sexual attraction, but... let's not get into that..."

23. How does envy manifest itself in them?

OHOHOHO THIS IS A GOOD ONE. With Rowan, envy is mostly hidden away and covered by pride. He thinks he can't be envious of people because he's better than them, he can't be missing things because he's worked harder than everyone else (he thinks Octavia being so gender and so awesome and so amazing is just his head playing tricks on him)

Dew:

32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

First off Dew is the absolute fucking king of dad jokes almost no one gets a visible reaction out of Mist as easily as Dew. Second off, I don't think so, he probably switches it up a lot in talking about dumb accidents they got into as a kid lol

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Dew is probably one of the most chill characters in that regard because he doesn't really mind! That itself is a bit of a problem, they don't really care about improving as much as they probably should, but Dew knows their weaknesses and if they really need to they can work on them

Spark:

6. Does your character think laws are immobile or flexible?

Oh for Spark laws aren't just flexible they're in te fucking way. They're an obstacle that makes research on their thesis incredibly annoying (since they're researching the barely legal wild magic) and something that routinely gets in their way (but yeah they'd rob a bank if Fern and Via really needed the money)

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it first?

Spark probably speaks like I do irl, aka an impulsive mess that cannot go three sentences with a weird expression or curse word. Maaaybe sometimes Spark rehearses what they're going to say, esp in cases like going to get meds for their ADHD, but overall they're too impulsive and "sincere" (aka an asshole) to really put effort into thinking over what they say

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do it?

Spark.. hmm... I'm not sure? Let's try:

"I haven't really fallen in love with anyone, and for now I don't want to, but I think the difference is the stuff you do? Like with a boyfriend we'd make out and have sex and go on dates, but with a friend I'd just hang out or have lunch together (and with my sister we just send each other video game memes every other day)"

Fern:

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

Oh it's incredibly easy, don't be openly rude to him for like a week and Fern would trust you with her own life lmao

11. How do they cope with confusion?

Pretends she understands, then immediately looks it up on his phone to actually do so (if she can't, he'll avoid asking again as much as possible)

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do it?

Fern's a little clearer than Spark (since tbh I have a clearer view on how she thinks about his feelings)

"I think the difference is that, for someone I'm into, I'd want to wake up every day with their hand on mine, and to get married to them, and to have a house together, but with someone I consider a friend, I want us to talk about our crushes, and do homework together, and go out for drinks and just talk about life with her"

27. What causes them to feel dread

3 paragraph text where she's being really vulnerable, not seen in over 3 hours despite the person he sent it to being online

Octavia:

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

Yes! Via's both really hard-working and really responsible, so she actually manages to both set and achieve reasonable goals for herself (whem external factors like a stupid-ass unrequited crush aren't distracting her)

41. How do they feel about children

Loves them, absolutely wants to adopt some when she graduates. *making up lore on the spot* She's an eldest daughter, so she's already kinda acquainted with taking care of kids, but she genuinely likes doing so and would love to have some of her own when she can settle down

Agate:

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do it?

Okay it's weird to say this but Agate is a lot less developed than the others so her response is even more flimsy than the other lore I've shared here

"Romantic love is kinda like a partnership I think, it's someone who keeps up with you, someone who you pull when they're going slowly and who pulls you when you're going too fast. A friend doesn't really have that intimacy, sure you help them sometimes but it's not as deep. And with families I think it's kind of a weird mix of the two where there's also more intimacy but you act more like friends"

22. How does jealousy manifest within them?

Oh this girlie is Repressing That Shit, if she's jealous for a reason she thinks isn't valid (aka literally any reason because her suffering is always justified) she's going to pretend that isn't a thing and hide her true feelings until either they stop or she can't pretend anymore

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

"Don't worry, I'm fine!"

Magoo:

D. Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit the way they looked?

Oh I've redesigned Magoo a lot, and he only started giving a design 8 years after I started playing with him. Currently I'm thinking of redesigning him to mess with his proportions and color scheme, but I don't know if I'll actually do it

E. Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Maybe? I'm not sure, I'd like to think that he'd like my ramblings (and that I'd enjoy his cheerful demeanor)

[this-isajokerjoke]

pt 2 of dudley and his attempt at redemption

he goes to therapy after he moves out. he comes to the realization that he was part of the problem

he didn't talk to harry potter for years

he didn't talk much to his parents either

but he still talked to them

he got a girlfriend, broke up, got a girlfriend, broke up

he missed the way that sweet sweet girl made him feel

but that time in his life is over, even if that wonderful girl will always hold a place in his heart

but he meets someone through a friend

she's beautiful. she has short black hair and grayish brown eyes, she has a square frame and a long hooked nose

dudley’s stomach flips pleasantly

she is kind and funny, she loves hiking and moths and can't draw to save her life, she hates tea and coffee and fizzing drinks but loves water and milk and tomato juice, she likes dark chocolate and is allergic to bees, she has four sisters and a little brother who is in junior high, she is 5’10” and wears heels everywhere, making her even taller 

it took a while for him to ask her out, but he does, and she says yes (dudley is shocked, but his friend tells him he's selling himself short)

they go on one date, then another, and another 

the woman, asks him to make things offical. of course, he says yes

they get married after 4 years of dating

they have two little girls

and the first has unexplained disasters. she's wild and once dudley could have sworn he saw her flying. he has a funny feeling about that. 

when she was eleven, a letter came along with an old woman who explains that his daughter was a witch (dudley isn't surprised)

it took a lot of digging to find harry, but he was determined and even if it took him three months

his wife took it well, or as well as she could. she just started laughing when dudley admitted to being cousins with one of the most famous wizards of their century

meeting harry is weird. he's grown and has a beard and a leaner body, but he's the same height and still has scars littering his hands and arms. 

but harry is kind, and he helps him 

he explains things to dudley, gives him recommendations on books and tells him that he was apart of a war and the wizarding world is still healing, so to be careful

so when his eldest daughter is sent to hogwarts with harry’s children, she is ready

his youngest never receives a letter

but he makes sure to not favor either. he doesn't call anyone a freak or stupid or evil or unworthy of magic. he makes sure they're both included in everything. 

and his daughters grow up happy

dudley dursley is 37 when he apologizes to harry potter.

dudley dursley is 37 when harry potter tells him that even if it's not excusable, he’s willing to give him another chance

[fumiko-matsubara]

Matsuoka Isami - OC Profile

Finally, a finished profile for my pretty boy~ The last one I made was more of a brief overview of Isami because he was still very new and I haven't thought much about him that time.

Now that I think about it, he might actually be my first post-canon OC (which is wild). So there isn't much of canon that I can take from, but I do get to do whatever I want with him. Hence, this post is bound to get edited every once in a while.

Matsuoka Isami (松岡 勇) ー selfish and unfiltered; he moves to the beat of his own drum!

"I don't like being indebted to anyone. Come with me after school, I'm getting you coffee as thanks."

Description

His father was the owner of the cafe Tsuchiya Kaho used to love going to. Due to alleged food poisoning, they have lost a valuable regular customer since. He's been awkwardly trying to bring her back but was constantly rejected.

Isami is all about fairness. He never does favours without getting something in return. At the same time, he never asks something from someone without doing something for them in return.

He's very observant and has no filter. He notices details that most people would miss and will point them out regardless of how others would feel about it.

Nickname: Milady/Princess (Eiji's idea)

Fukiyose Eiji thought he was being funny when he first called the selfish bastard a princess, but much to his chargin, Isami proudly carried that nickname with glee.

Birthday: April 12th

Height: 176 cm

Weight: 63 kg

Blood Type: B

MBTI Type: ISTP-A

Favourite Subject: Social Studies

Least Favourite Subject: Maths

Interests and special skills: Watching bad movies and brutally criticising them, playing the tsugaru shamisen

Past Club: Soccer club

Treasured Item(s): A cikarkarpe * embroidered by his grandmother that was given to him on his 15th birthday

Favourite Food: Iced Americano

Bento or snacks: Snacks

(*) Cikarkarpe/チカルカルペ - Ainu robes made of cotton and fabric obtained through trade with Japanese merchants, not similar to Attus/アットゥㇱ, which are made of fibers harvested from elm tree barks.

Character Relationships

- Chiba Ryuunosuke (addressed as Ryuuchi) -

He sits in front of Chiba in class. They are similar in personality but are complete opposites in their behaviour. In which Chiba swallows his own concerns in consideration of other people's feelings, Isami couldn't careless of how others would feel as long as he gets his point across. Where Chiba would do things for others unconditionally, Isami seeks fairness when it comes to acts of service. But because they hang out a lot in school and outside of school, they slowly began to influence and learn from each other as time passes.

If it were any other contrasting person, Isami would have clashed heads with them constantly. But because Chiba is very empathetic and willing to understand Isami's side of things, they can always find a good compromise whenever disagreements were made.

Upon learning that they will be enrolling to the same university, Isami and Chiba began making plans of sharing an apartment in advance.

- Tsuchiya Kaho (addressed as Tsucchi) -

They never really interacted until high school but they have known of each other for almost three years since their fathers were friends.

Their relationship started off quite rocky in the beginning of the school year. But because they're both close to Chiba, they are always in close proximity and thus, naturally grew close to each other as the months go by. They bonded over watching horror movies.

These days, Kaho had been trying to get him into various overseas boy groups. They've become like tight-knitted gossip buddies. They are always seen together even when Chiba is not around.

- Fukiyose Eiji (addressed as Fukiyose) -

After 'stealing' his spot as Chiba's best friend 'by the process of elimination' (Isami: "whatever that's supposed to mean"), Eiji had claimed him as his archnemesis... although it's one-sided on his part.

But sometimes when he feels like it, Isami likes to push Eiji's buttons because he finds his explosive reactions amusing.

- Maehara Hiroto (addressed as Tardy Boyfriend) -

In his second year of junior high, Isami's school had once arranged a practice game with Kunugigaoka's soccer team. They actually never spoke, but Maehara left quite an impression on Isami when he came in very late to the game... only because he got distracted with his girlfriend at the time.

Fashion Check

From his hair to how he wears his clothes, Isami is very high maintenance and cares so much of his appearance. Because of his high waist, he keeps his school blazer open and wears a cardigan underneath to make his torso look longer.

In the summer, he barely keeps his shirt tucked in.

Street clothes

From the beginning, Isami favours clothing made of wool fabric, with turtlenecks and sweaters being among his most frequent wears. Pairing them with loose dress pants and the berets he likes to wear sometimes gives him a very typical academia style, which is quite fitting given his love for consuming creative works.

Hair

His current hairstyle is a result of blowdrying his curly hair into loose waves. He typically keeps it tucked behind his ears. But when he dresses up, he sometimes ties it into loose braids or in a high ponytail. He only wears his hair natural during the weekends and holidays.

Isami has very broad shoulders, but the volume of his hair when he lets it down makes it less obvious.

Members of the Matsuoka family

Father: Cafe shop owner - Matsuoka Hayato (松岡 早人)

Mother: Interior Designer - Hirame Chisa (平目 チサ)

Siblings: 4 older brothers - Utano (侑多乃), Asaya (亜紗��), Otoha (乙葉), Emu (笑夢)

His father's cafe is Isami's favourite hang out place. There's a spot inside the shop where he's typically stationed during his free time so he could watch movies in peace. He spends so much of his time there that sometimes, he ends up dealing with misbehaving customers himself when he sees the employees becoming overwhelmed.

Isami and Utano are 10 years apart:

Utano is already married and with a daughter of his own.

‌Asaya lives with his girlfriend in Shinjuku.

‌Otoha switched from competitive dance to choreography after recovering from a career-ending injury (pelvic fracture) in high school.

‌Emu moved back to Hokkaido and entered university. He is aiming to become a curator at an ainu cultural museum in Asahikawa.

A hidden side of Matsuoka Isami

⇑ Every once in a while, Isami would be so invested in a movie or a show, he'll grow emotionally attached to its characters, to a point that any slight convenience will result to him bursting into tears.

Throughout the years:

Kawadate High School

Togyō Institute of Technology ※ He opened his YouTube channel while enrolled in university and works part-time at his father's shop.

Togyō Institute of Technology Graduate School ※ He had been conflicted about moving back to Hokkaido for so long that he ended up not knowing what to do with his supposed civil engineering career now that he obtained his academic degree. He is currently considering pulling himself from the post-graduate program.

Content creating gradually became his full-time job ※ He used to borrow Chiba's recording equipment to make videos, until he had earned enough to buy his own.

Throughout high school, Isami had a following on social media where he takes in movie requests, whether it's good or bad, and writes a review for them after watching. This soon sparked his interest for making video essays and movie commentarys, where he gets to critique and express his thoughts on selected creative works in great detail.

Fumiko's Behind the scenes data

Both his parents were from different parts of Hokkaido, but met and wedded in Tokyo. Isami, as well as his brothers, are of Ainu descent from their mother ー and that fact alone led to complications in their parents' marriage due to issues with their father's family in Sapporo, resulting in their father cutting ties with his family, their mother not adopting the Matsuoka surname, and them making the effort to connect with her family in Asahikawa instead during the holidays

Isami was born prematurely during their visit to Asahikawa in the spring. He and his mother had to be confined in the hospital for months and thus couldn't return to Tokyo with the rest. Only his older brother of three years, Emu, gets to stay with them as he's the only one not having to attend school or kindergarten. However, their confinement took too long that Emu started kindergarten in Asahikawa and refuses to leave. Hence, Isami was already four years old when he saw Tokyo for the first time.

He's a long time superfan of Wagakki Band and has attended every single one of their new year's concerts since becoming a fan in 2013.

‌He's quite popular with both men and women. He used to receive a handful of gifts during valentines despite previously attending an all-boys school.

He doesn't have any subject he's particularly bad at. But because he finds their Math teacher's handwriting very difficult to read, Isami gradually began to hate the subject.

He once got blasted on social media for saying he dislikes the live action movies of the popular Sonic Ninja franchise.

[matriarchsdevotee-archive]

Twinrova theory:

Okay so the promised twinrova conspiracy theory. This comes with the standard caveat of I don't expect this to be played out on here and it seldom comes up anyway, but the jist of it is that, when I was beginning the Gerudo historia project, I made peace with the fact that Ganondorf probably wasn't going to be consistent with tribal trends and it was in my better interest to push it away and leave it to the gan stans to worry about. The Gerudo are one of the very few self-consistent tribes in Zelda, it's part of what attracts me to them as a writer, so I was decidedly unbothered if I found discrepancy with Gan's philosophy/customs/religious foundations, and so on.

The thing is, though... He's really not terribly inconsistent with them. Physically, he is of course very different than his sisters, but he does functionally look like what a male Gerudo would be expected to look like - extremely well--muscled, broad shouldered, red hair and yellow eyes (which, while uncommon, are seen among other Gerudo across games - it's essentially the human equivalent of Blue or green eyes). If Nintendo canon heights are to be believed, he's shorter than his countrywomen, but given that there's in-game flavor text that suggests Gerudo men tend to be sickly or weaker than their counterparts, that also tracks. He wears the same makeup that a Gerudo chieftain does across all his appearances as a man and even some of his later appearances as his monstrous form, Ganon (Red eyeshadow, black garb, and golden lipstick, gold being the color of religious figures amongst the Gerudo (see also Maike in botw and Nabooru)). He's certainly an extremist amongst his people, but it's not like the Gerudo are pro-Hyrule. Even Nabooru seems to be in the camp of "get Ganondorf out but so help me god if Hyrule tries to colonize us." Realistically, the most out of character trait that Ganondorf has as a Gerudo is his massive magical capabilities. Some Gerudo are minor prophets and they're often seen with magical weapons, but trust me when I say I have scoured the source material and Ganondorf is the only one who can wield traditional magic...

Except for his mothers. His white-haired, magical, extremely long-lived, surrogate mothers who have names that are intensely un-Gerudo, both at the time (Koume and Kotake don't share any phonetic similarities with Nabooru, Ganondorf or Aveil, and are blatantly just. Japanese names) and with the help of the Gerudo phonetics in Four Swords Adventures and Breath of the Wild (And acompannying breath of the wild companion games). His mothers, who have an even greater animosity for Hyrule than the rest of the Gerudo put together. Who have a distinct hatred for the royal family.

Anyway, what I'm alluding to is that the Twinrova are Sheikah.

I say this because, as consistent as Ganondorf is with his people, Koume and Kotake simply aren't. As we discussed, magical ability is very uncommon amongst the Gerudo, and their names share much more in common with Sheikah phonetics than they do (as the Sheikah names in botw often borrow Japanese phonetics) than they do Gerudo or even Hylian names. There are no other Gerudos with white hair. Very old Gerudo in Botw go pink and Ashai, who we can reasonably assume has a melanin issue of some kind due to her very light eyes and skin, has pink hair instead of red or white. In Four Swords Adventures, the Gerudo chief is pictured in her character art with red hair, though she's clearly aged elsewhere.  Even when they transform during their bossfight, they don't have red hair, as their youthful form would suggest. (This is weaker evidence, as it's pretty clear their design was more meant to mirror the fire/ice archetype, but the fact that the only Gerudo trait their son retains consistently when he transforms is his red hair leads me to believe this isn't entirely invalid).

Speaking of the transformation, that's something of an odd power, isn't it? Ganon doesn't transform as a disguise, but you know who does? Explicitly into a Gerudo?

This motherfucker.

During the Age of Calamity mission in which you recruit Urbosa, Kogha distracts the chieftain and is able to slip into Gerudo town in magical disguise in order to try to kill Zelda (Frankly, even if Urbosa hadn't arrived when she did, this wasn't going to end well as the Gerudo were already becoming suspicious, but I digress).

In conclusion, we have a pair of sisters with little relation to the tribe they allegedly belong to who raised a child specifically to violently despise Hyrule's royal family and train his power so he can destroy them, who phonetically, canonically, and in terms of design share much more in common with the Sheikah tribe than they do the Gerudo. Was this the intent? I'm willing to bet money that it absolutely was not, but you can pry it from my cold dead hands.

[hamliet]

Ohmygod about The Glory? I couldn't even finish it because I felt like it was so missing the point. My favourite story ever is Wuthering Heights (Song Hye Kyo in her black suit approaching the bully's daughter was very much reminding me of Heathcliff and Hareton) so it's not that I don't like revenge stories or that I'm not comfortable with portrayal of violence but like it has to be for a reason? In the glory it felt like the violence was just there for the sake of being there and like for shock value. The story didn't seem to be getting deeper and just like you said, it felt like irresponsible storytelling. The question seemed to be how much is too much while I thought it should be is this actually okay? Like you know, The Count Of Monte Cristo, where the point is, what happened to you was wrong but it's not your job to play God and deliver justice. I absolutely love revenge stories but I also think they're very tricky because if not handled properly, they might end up sending a wrong and very dangerous message.

I wasn't aware that the creator themselves turned out to be a bully so now it makes sense to me. I didn't express my views openly because I thought I didn't have the right because I haven't experienced bullying myself and I know it's based on some true events so I didn't want to invalidate their sufferings. So I thought I'd just keep my mouth shut.

I'm not alone! I'm not alone! Lol.

Oh yeah, I think you're right about the trickiness of handling them. Count of Monte Cristo and Wuthering Heights are fabulous. I also think The Princess Bride has a good one because it doesn't frame it as something super deep; it's just a fun movie that wants to entertain.

It doesn't have to be deep! Fun revenge stories are fine the same way as fun wild romance stories or punch em up action films can be. Entertainment alone is a good enough reason to tell a story; just... it's hard with some premises, particularly those that attempt to be "issues" stories, to do both at the same time and this wasn't a success.

Yeah, he was. Note I don't think he should have his life destroyed or anything, but hypocrisy isn't cool. Self-awareness is good.