#they're all interlinked with johnny's consciousness and memory

[savurai]

but like i think, v isn’t a stranger to her own mind being her enemy? like having johnny in her head, basically every waking moment  &  being awful is awful but like equally, she’s fifteen in a car crash that smashes her brain and leaves frontal lobe damage [primarily working memory, personality expression  & issues with aphasia]  &  its this eerie feeling again having johnny because she knows this feeling, she knows what her mind should be and now what it isn’t  &  it reminds her of that time period..  i think, that really was her lowest moment..  on the streets, no food trying to take care of her literal three year old sibling while still literally having an actual giant break in her skull that literally went untreated  &  cared for for months? i think the moment she gets picked up off the streets is that whole “remember this feeling. this is the moment you stop being the mouse”  &  that losing that control of her mind, having someone lurking inside and changing her perception gives her that aura  &  illusion again - feels like memory issues and losing what person she is. she couldn’t actually express herself or really exist as valeria after the crash  &  same with having a functioning memory.. and that’s almost exactly the same as having johnny.  she loses her own memories,  has hers merge with his  &  gains his memories.  she takes on his personality and judgement.  that she’s powerless, that she cant take care of herself or her brother, that she’s the mouse again.