#they'd fuckin better
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
pls I need them to bitch
#hey arnold#shortaki#they become a couple its canon#and arnold was helga's biggest supporter of her mean jokes during that Helgas Show episode#you know they'd cast some fuckin shade#arnold pretending he's better but he can't resist#she just drags it out of him
182 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about kieran again... particularly about how i feel like he struggles with a weak sense of self and how him identifying so heavily with ogrepon, (or at least the version of ogrepon he originally knew,) probably helped him stabilize how he saw himself, only to have something he considered so core to his identity essentially ripped away from him. not only that, it was by someone he seemingly wanted to trust and open up to, (which i doubt he does very often.)
i definitely think that the way he's handling things is far from healthy, but i can get why he'd have such an intense reaction to losing something that was so important to him and basically being betrayed by someone he wanted to consider a friend.
#i'm saying this as someone who has also struggled my sense of self and used to use characters to help feel more of a person#basically what i'm is that kieran is autistic-coded as hell and i see bits of myself in him#they aren't the prettiest parts but being a teenager with undiagnosed mental illnesses was never meant to be beautiful#also kieran's autonomy constantly being undermined by the ppl around him is a big fuckin mood#oh and the toxic chain possession theories are making me go 🤔#i can't wait to see how things turn out for him...#at the end of the day i just hope things end well and that florian & kieran can be friends again...#ideally they'd still have a friendly rivalry that helps both of them improve for the better (like may & wally)#pokemon#pkmn scarvio#rival kieran#chara : kieran hinoki#<- kiddo's got an mjverse surname now 😏#(it's from the japanese cypress who's wood is used to create masks for noh theatre performances)#mj.txt#scarvio spoilers#sv dlc spoilers
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
Imma be real guys I enjoy terrible writing on tv shows and some movies but this is losing me
#to the like 7 people who follow this blog lol#if I'm ever questioning if riverdale's writing is better than a relatively high production budget abc show we got a real problem#gonna be completely honest even if this was a 2024 cw show they'd be on thin fuckin ice for me#unpopular opinion#<-? unsure. it was unpopular before but I think it's getting more popular which is. not great.#911 abc#<-takin a risk tagging this if you come at me with toxic shit I'm blocking you immediately. civil disagreement is fine.#in fact I would love to have a conversation if someone disagrees bc maybe I'm missing something idk#ps this is shipping aside. yeah yeah I think buddie will be endgame but at this point even canon buddie is not enough to keep me interested#911 crit#911 critical
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
and in canon I can't think of a single scenario that would have more weight or more emotional significance that the admission of the name of the song on the cliffside reunion after more than 20 years. there's no use proposing after that, they might as well get married right then and there
#fics that try to be....realistic or relatable I guess with 'haha wedding planning is so stessful!'#immediately put me out. lwj and wwx care about like four people still living who they'd want at their wedding and that's IT#1. wen ning 2. lan sizhui 3. jin ling 4. either lxc or jc depending on several things and probably not even jc if we're being honest#if they were ALIVE other atendees would include: mama lan (😥) jfm (maybe) jyl definitely wq definitely probably a lot of wens actually#nhs if things were better um probably nmj too OH and songxia with a-qing that would be cute#idk if there's any canon situation where jc would be okay with wwx leaving him like that tho :/ maybe in a modern AU#OH and jzx IF he's dating jyl. and mm too why not#lbr wwx can't be bothered to fuckin remember all these other cultivators and lwj certainly doesn't give a shit about them#MAYBE lqr if he's cool. it would be SUPER rude not to invite myu so they'd have to but hopefully she refuses to come?#see in any AU you have to grapple with that. bc wwx can't just pretend she doesn't exist that woman is one of the people who saved his life#and that kind of debt means a lot to him#which is why eloping is just easier and better!#in an AU where they need someone to marry them wen ning can get a certification online who cares#cql txp
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm about half way done putting together this Unit 1 Eva Godzilla model kit and I have to say the water slide decals that came with this are absolute fucking shit. no glue needed my ass :/
#tbh ive resorted to just paining most of the details instead of using these thing#in comparison the decals that came with my hmm zoids kits? still well and are set after 10 minutes no problem#these decals tho? three hours later they peeled right off 🙄#literally had to put a blot of glue down to make them actuallt adhere and one of them still fell off and just broke apart like ?????#youd think a kit that cost this much would half decent decals but nah#would have just been better to make them sticker decals tbh at least then they'd fuckin adhere
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
What if we all just acknowledged that jesus was a perfect human and therefore was queer as hell. I think that'd fix me
#i just think that if you're gonna get obsessed with your god incarnate as a human they'd better be in your fuckin image#all gods are queer all divinity is queer they're all that's keeping us from the brink you know#heteronormativity is the true hell
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
if you ask me the only problem with ds' remixes is that every game except love lizards, love lab and rockers is in both their set's remix and one sequel remix as well as remix 10. i somehow only just remembered that that also applies to airboarder but also it's even worse for it it's literally only in remix 10 skdfjfdklfjlfsd-
#puppy rambles#rhythm hell#ds#at least it's in final remix. that's better than fuckin'. fever night walk n fever's rhythm test. only in one remix#or charging chicken literally being in no remixes. i mean idk how it'd work in a remix honestly#some endless games just wouldn't work in a remix. i think that's why when making endless remix in fever they were just like#''what if we shove that game we made as a b-button test in. and make some new endless games''#i mean i'm guessing they'd already made them n just decided not to use them. though they're more complete than fuckin'#torch relay or whatever it translates to#which just has a practice that doesn't end sfdklfjklfjfds-
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Most desperate things the 141 boys have done for sex because I can't stop thinking about it <3
John's begged for it. I mean on his hands and knees begging for a taste. I know this man is an avid pussy pronoun user too. He has been on his knees in front of you as you sit pretty on his couch, trailing kisses up your soft belly to your tits and then back down to your thighs.
"C'mon sweet girl lemme' 'ave a taste of 'er yeah? Know she fuckin' needs me hm? Just look at tha'" as he runs a thumb of the wetness that's seeped through you thin panties, just waiting for you to say the words and let him tear them off.
He knows if anybody else in the 141 or if any of his fellow soldiers could see him now, the Captain Price practically drooling over you and sweet talking your cunt like it could hear him they would have a fit. But he couldn't care less because you looked so fucking good right now so "just let 'er 'ave what she wants alright sweet thing?"
I just know Kyle has spent 70% of his last month's pay check on hotel room because the 5 star pent house suite was the only hotel room in your area left available during the holidays. He played it cool with an arm around your waist assuring you it was fine, acting like this was the room he wanted to get, not the one he was forced to have. But if he was being forced to do anything thank god it was spoiling you.
"Don't worry 'bout it love. Just make 'urself comfortable" He'll say in a sultry sweet tone, planting kisses up the side of your neck before excusing himself to the lavish bathroom to check his bank account. He had to make sure he still had enough to buy you a nice breakfast in the morning.
And you're already layed out so pretty for him on the bed so he's not complaining about anything. Especially not the mirror situated on the ceiling right above the bed. Oh and don't you dare suggest splitting the cost, "just split your legs for me hun, 's all ya need to do"
Johnny is eager, like so so eager. When a passionate make out session on your couch got even more heated than either of you had previously expected and he now had his fingers playing with the waistband of your skirt, letting his cold finger tips splay themselves just below. When he got to the hem of your panties and began to hook a finger into the lace you had to stop him,
"Johnny"
"Yea?" He was breathless, chasing your lips when you pulled away to talk. You almost felt bad for separating but if he was going to touch you, there was one request you needed to make. You had felt his nails drag across your thighs moments earlier, it felt wonderful but they were...a little long.
"Do ya nae want this hen?" He'd ask, looking at you like you were a piece of art. Pleading with his eyes, shining like they'd spill tears if you said yes.
"No, no I want this, I want you so so much. It's just..." you trailed off
"Tell me what's wrong bonnie and I'll fix it, yeah?" his hands kept you grounded to his lap either a soft grip on you ass.
"It's just- you're nails, they're a little long" your request was nothing more than whisper.
'Oh' Johnny knew he probably should have just asked for clippers, but you felt so damn good on his lap. He could feel your warm cunt through the zipper of his jeans and with your tits brushing against his chest he couldn't bring himself to move.
You watched in shock as he just began to just tear his nails off with his teeth. Without a second thought his pointer and middle finger nails were bit off to the skin. He paused and looked at his right hand before ripping off the index finger as well.
"Johnny what's gotten into you-?"
But he's already got his hands back down your skirt. Soft finger tips slipping between your folds. "Feel better now eh?" And when you just nuzzled your nose into his neck and let out a little whimper he chuckled "I'll take tha' as a yes"
Simon swallows his pride for the first time in his life for a chance at hitting it raw. You tell him it's okay to not use protection, that you're on birth control. But you needed to make sure that he didn't have any stds seeing as they're even more of a pain when you're on birth control. Not that you don't trust him you just want to make sure and it's not a problem for him seeing as he has to get tested every other week being in the military.
He doesn't, however, have his records on him at the moment and with a girl already lying in his bed telling him he can cum inside. Plus a raging hard on, he doesn't exactly feel like running back to base to get the paper work. So...next best thing.
"Price-"
"Rare for ya to call on leave Simon, whatchya need?" Price responds, his voice cracking through the face time call, a cigar dangling from his lips.
"Sir I need..." he looks back at you, your eyes expectant and shining. You wanted him and he wasn't going to fuck this up. "Can you send me a picture of my last med check results?" He rushes out the last part, elbow on his knee and hand dragging over his face.
Price quirks one eyebrow but doesn't look like he's going to ask any questions. Unlucky for Simon though, Johnny was also in the room. His voice distantly coming through the phone,
"The feck ya need those for l.t.?" He questioned
Simon just groaned, soap's addition to this call just made it even more frustrating. But he snapped out of his frustration at the sound of price opening his file cabinet. "What part?" Price asked, dismissing Johnny with a wave of his hand.
"The-" Simon began, this was fucking embarrassing but when he looked back to you, now perched on your hands and knees, the plush of you hips resting on your ankles, he'd do anything at this point. "STD results." He responded plainly.
"Aye! No fuckin' way mate!" The sound of a chair scraping the floor could be heard as Johnny began to clammer over to his captain who pulled the sheet from his files.
"Ya didn't tell me he was in the room" Simon growled
"Ya didn't ask" Price droned
Johnny's head popped into frame "show me what she looks like ey l.t?"
"Not happening" Simon deadpanned
"Aw c'monnnn" The sergeant whined "just proud of you for finally getting some action!"
"Enough." Simon could see you biting your lip to stifle a laugh out of the corner of his eyes, a curious look in your eyes at his reddened face.
"Sent a picture to ya Simon" Price huffed, letting Johnny give him one last "good luck!" Before hanging up the phone.
You were a mess of giggles as he just shook his head and shoved the phone results in your face for you to look at. "See. Clean."
"Okay okay" you giggled, finally letting his form eclipse you back onto the pillows
"Went through a hell of a lot of trouble for ya, sweet girl" he whispered, nipping at the shell of your ear.
"I'll make it worth it" you said, kissing the corner of his lip and tangling your fingers in the back of his hair
"Christ woman" he groaned, feeling his cock twitch at your promise, "gunna' be the death a' me"
#two of these situations actually happened to me#can you guess which ones lmao#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#johnny x reader#johhny soap mactavish#soap x you#soap smut#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick#gaz x reader#gaz x you#gaz x y/n#gaz smut#kyle garrick x reader#kyle garrick x you#simon riley x you#simon riley#simon riley smut#simon ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost x oc#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost smut#john price#price x reader#price smut#price x you
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
when my husband said there would undoubtedly be some sort of reckoning within the jewish community over what's going on between israel and palestine, i did not expect "the online jewish community will torpedo itself with mccarthyism brought about by goyim" to be the winning bingo for that.
#truly why i no longer consider anyone on the internet just through typing to be community#because unless i can actually interact with you face to face [and shit like facetime counts]#i can't trust a single fucking thing anyone says ever at all#no matter how 'trustworthy' you seem to be because hot damn people are fuckin wild with what they're willing to shit out online#that they'd think better on in person because then you actually consider the impact of your words#my jumblr and indigenous tumblr and all social media really has become so patchwork because of this#yall really don't care about tearing people and community to shreds if it validates your emotional reactionism#in ways that it wouldn't if you actually had to face someone and deal with people - even just in conversation - in a physical space#since that means you'd be confronted with how your words actually hit
1 note
·
View note
Text
just took a walk in unknown territories (left the peace and happiness of my dash) and I gotta say. perhaps this site should just fuckin tank. lotta ppl on this webbed site should just not have the internet. period. at all.
#like. the political disc horse. like. I can't stress this enough. the left end of føx news level dipshits exist#and they too have wifi#incredible (every day I block more and more and more fuckin complete dipshits on this fuckin site)#at this point I really just wish we could all go back to having like... our own geosites web pages#and I'd send the URL to all my mutuals and they'd send me THEIR geo sites URL#like. wtf. goes on? how do ppl become so fuckin brain warped? how do they not understand that#like they're no better than the cheese dick pillow guy who is in love with cheetolini?#anyway#I'm gonna look at cat pictures now or some shit#fuckin ppl on here are exhausting. they take away the ability to currate your own dash so you don't have to see that shit? I'm the FUCK out.#erin explains it all
0 notes
Text
now why in gods name would i want to do that
0 notes
Text
#SJRamblings#Who knew they'd check it finally huh? now gotta go to a new college cus it's better than rotting away at home doing nothin right?#but hey almost a year w that pc. that's a good first record for a stolen thing from school-#anywho things are pending. yes I do have my brother's pc to use in case I'm THAT desperate to continue#but idk.. the semi military school starts the moment shit is done and set so idk how long for such.#thankfully I'm not in the usa so it's not gonna be a total nightmare of a school. and the pics I got sent from em..#fuckin just dance as a recreational activity- idk why but that has me have a little hope
0 notes
Text
toji is a cat dad. the cat looks so fucking tiny next to him that it's a little comical actually. they spend every morning together – the cat twirls around and between his legs as he's grabbing the food, quietly meowing and purring. toji smiles softly to himself at the little thing's neediness. so cute.
the cat also just loves to follow toji around the apartment. always. he goes to the bathroom? the cat goes to the bathroom. he's cooking in the kitchen? the cat is in the kitchen. he's asleep in the bed? the cat is in the bed. (big man toji stomping around the house with the smallest cat in the world running after him.......... guys i'm melting i'm dying)
ok but he was a little weirded out by the cat's need to be in the bathroom with him lmao. like he's taking a piss and he looks over his shoulder only to find the little kitten just staring up at him with big eyes😭😭😭 toji grumbles under his breath and tries to ignore him but then he ends up looking over his shoulder again, hoping that he left but no. he's still there. sitting like :3 😭😭😭😭
"yer fuckin' weird..." is what toji tells him as he places the cat on the bathroom counter and he just gets a cute meow back as a reply. the cat watches him brush his teeth and toji has to fight the thing because he's now in the sink????? toji needs to spit out the toothpaste but the critter is getting comfortable in the bowl and he actually feels bad abt pushing him away... wahh he's so soft actually guys i can't do this anymore.
if the cat happens to be a big meower, toji's definitely talking back to him. he literally goes "what're ya yappin' about, lil man? 🤨🤨" while looking at the tiny creature. but he loves it, he thinks it's so funny. he picks the little guy up and just stares at him up close O.O (plss the cat is literally like the size of his palm i'm dying it's so cute).
he also likes to carry the cat on his shoulder. i think every cat would actually love toji so much, this is also canon here you cannot argue with me. and i think they'd all find him very comforting? and i think they'd love to sleep on him. so whenever he's cooking and the cat paws at his legs, he just picks him up and places him on his shoulder.
he once did that when shiu was over and he was just ????????? like man what are you doing put the damn cat down ????????? and toji just went. "no. he wants to see." with a blank face. to him it's very obvious. c'mon, the cat is so little, he has no idea what's happening up here, ofc he wants to see??????? smh shiu do better😒😒😒
oh and this was definitely just a stray cat he took in btw. after a long day at work, he was just walking home with a cig between his lips when he heard the teeeniest tiniest little meow coming from behind the dumpster in an alley. and well... the curiosity got the best of him and he went to check it out aaand lo and behold!!!!!!! itty bitty kitty!!!!
big eyes peering up at him behind a thrash bag, he just knew he couldn't leave the poor thing there. he reached out his hand, letting the kitty smell him and he almost dropped his cig when he actually leaned into his touch immediately!!!! that's his baby now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he held the cat to his chest as he made his way home and he even stopped by a little corner store to buy him something to eat. the cashier did look at him with a raised brow bc what the fuck this massive man is holding the smallest cat in the world, but toji didn't mind. he didn't care. the cat slept on his back that very same night.
ALSO. thank u @kentophilia for putting this idea in my head ily<33 during the late hours of the day, toji lays in bed while reading his book with his glasses on – the cat stands on his chest with a determined face. he's already purring even though toji hasn't even done anything. he's just soo comforting and the cat just loves him soooo much okay:((((( toji lowers his book to look at the thing before scratching the top of his head and smiling to himself when the cat closes his eyes and purrs even louder.
the cat ends up trying to make biscuits on him and that makes toji yelp lmao. the tiny little claws dig into his warm skin as the he kneads toji like he's a piece of dough. purring and content – toji doesn't have it in him to make him stop either. it's not like it actually hurts, he was just caught off-guard. he didn't get scared by a cat btw, he didn't. in the end, he keeps reading his book with his one hand while petting the creature with the other. this is their routine. they're family!!!!!!!
anyway. he loves his little kitty cat with all his heart and he would literally kill for him:33333
#TOJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WITH A CAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT#YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#YIIIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#yeah not to be weird but.... in a way this is just moji lmao..........................#and when i say in a way i mean that it is moji#toji#mickey is daydreaming#toji fluff#jjk toji#moji#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro fluff
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
so like. fnaf movie. after night five, all outside observers know is "this 30yo guy with severe anger issues + his 10yo mentally ill sister just walked out of his collapsing workplace with an unconscious, stabbed police officer, saying that someone inside the building tried to kill them but we can't get into the building to check. we went to their house and the aunt who was fighting for custody of the child is dead on the floor. the guy's career counselor is missing, as is his babysitter and her family and apparently they're all dead in the building we can't get into." and like. that all looks suspicious as FUCK however we know that in the few-weeks timeskip both mike and abby seem happy and fine so it's not like mike was arrested or anything. he seems to be more adjusted and is happily talking with her teacher so i doubt he's under stress of interrogation or anything
there's a lot of implications there that mike mighta pulled something but it's all circumstantial evidence at best. i'm sure in jane's autopsy and crime scene evidence they couldn't find any evidence of mike being the one to attack her, esp since it was probably just golden freddy bopping her in the head so they dont even have the weapon, and if she was strangled they'd be able to tell it wasn't by bare hands and they couldnt get prints or anyth. especially if golden freddy is a FULL ghost and thus left no trail.
mike would be smart enough to only tell the cops what they need to know without mentioning ghosts to sound crazy. abby might be more honest with the cops just bc of #autism but they'd be more likely to consider her talking about ghosts and imaginary friends as a child's way of coping, and they cant get anything out of her that would incriminate mike. ADD TO THAT that mike has wounds that are clearly defensive and is SUPER banged up and his wounds would likely match his story way better than evidence of him attacking anyone, AND that there's likely footage and witnesses of him being in the pharmacy and then driving to work (and thus not in the area to attack jane), AND if/when nessie wakes up she'll probably vouch for mike as well, and the cops dont have anything on him
though i DO wonder if they would have records of vanessa patching him up in the police outpost. if they do, that would also back up mike's story as it's 1) far away from the aunt jane crime scene, 2) confirms that he and vanessa were working together, so either she's complicit in Crime™ or his story is accurate and she was helping him save his sister. him going to defend her instead of calling backup is also consistent with his personality of getting triggered and jumping into action around child abduction, esp w/ his sibling in danger
considering what abby would probably say, AND the history of freddy's, it's likely that they would come to the conclusion of is "someone [likely the og kidnapper from the 80s] found out that the guy working at freddy's had a sister, kidnapped abby from her house while her aunt was babysitting and tried to recreate the crimes, his story of him and vanessa defending her and escaping vaguely checks out." whether or not mike would incriminate vanessa by mentioning her dad was the killer is up in the air, and there's obviously some huge holes that are left from nobody believing that there are ghosts in the building but that would probably be the eventual conclusion
but throwing that all away, it would be really, REALLY funny if the rest of the town, being really fuckin nosy and getting into the juiciest gossip they've had in decades, took one look at michael "big teddy bear falling asleep on himself" schmidt and said "there's no way. there's no way this guy murdered his aunt, stabbed an officer and then destroyed his own workplace, especially when he really needed that job and was on sleeping medication," and then turned around to look at abby "neurodivergent in the early 2000s (ableist af time period)" "vocally hates her aunt" "doesn't talk to anyone and claims that she can see ghosts" "vaguely possessive of her brother" "claims that she found the guy who hurt her friends and got him jumped by a cupcake(?)" schmidt and said "oh my god. it was her."
and nobody's gonna directly say anything but they've got cautious eyes on the situation and someone quietly slips mike a copy of the bad seed to see if he has a realization but instead he's just like "hey this book kinda reminds of that golden freddy kid lmao. wonder how he's doin" and then we smashcut to golden freddy kid poking springtrap with a stick
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
dull domestication
A/N: s4 steve is WAY too babygirl like what am i supposed to do. he is literally begging to be domesticated. (gif creds: @emziess)
Pairing: Steve Harrington x GN!AFAB!Reader
Summary: You and a sleepy Steve have a very domestic conversation about the future. 0.9k words
Warnings: domestic fluff, talk of pregnancy/children, cuddling, pet names (daddy /j, baby, honey), cursing
Steve's hair is mussed when he reenters the living room from the kitchen. You're not sure what exactly he got up to in there besides dishes, but you're sure he looks even more tired than when he left. And now, he's a heat seeking missile for your lap.
"Tired, honey?" you whisper just to see him nod and close his eyes halfway to the couch. And when he finally reaches you, he spreads his body weight completely atop yours, ear pressed to your heart and cheek smushed against your sternum.
He hums with your lithe fingers sweetly combing through his hair.
"Fuckin' exhausted. Don't even get me started on my shift," he grumbles.
"What happened on your shift?"
He sighs long and hard, rumbling your chest. It takes everything in you not to laugh at how it even shakes the couch a little.
"Robin ditched halfway through to go on a date with Vickie"—he mocks—"and I forgot my lunch."
"Aw, baby, you know I would've brought it to you."
"Don't feel bad, I only didn't call because I worked through my entire break because no one was there to remind me that I even had a break. Stupid. If I hadn't just gotten a raise, I fuckin' swear."
With every second, he seems to sink further into your embrace, bones becoming goo the longer he crushes you into the cushions. Even with the air running and the night chill cooling the house, he stills runs hot like an oven. If you held your breath, you could probably hear his veins humming to produce all that heat.
"I knew I should've visited today. I had a feeling," you say, fingertips soft on the back of his neck. He hums, pushing his hands up your sides and taking your top with them.
"I like when you visit me, baby," he says, "makes me happy. And way more productive."
"Except for the twenty minutes we spend doing nothing."
"Hey, we don't do nothing."
"Oh, sorry, the twenty minutes we spend staring into each others eyes and making out. How could I forget?"
"Dunno," he shrugs, hands now snug up underneath your shoulder blades. "You ever think about kids?"
"Like how loud and obnoxious they are? Yeah, sometimes."
"Yeah, that." But you know that's not all because his brow furrows, his face taut against your chest. He takes a deep breath and shivers when you dip your fingers into the neck of his shirt. "But also about how cute ours would be."
Fuck. For all the shit running through his mind, you're shocked that's all he let out. How cute your kids would be. You and Steve. Cute kids? No doubt. Have you seen his eyes? Of course they'd be cute. You just can't beleive he said it out loud. Like the though of getting older and settling down never crossed his mind as a kind of threat. Like that's the natural course of action for two young adult lovers. You've talked about marriage, sure, but children is a whole new ballpark.
"Honey?" he coos, lifting his head to meet your eyes. "Did I scare you?"
"No. No, no. Just... hadn't really thought of it.
But I agree. Our kids would be cute. Loud and obnoxious and cute."
Your heart gives you away, pounding hard against his cheek and against your will. It makes him blush to hear you say it. Makes him a little embarrassed he said anything at all. But, they'd be pretty cute, wouldn't they?
"We don't have to talk about it," he whispers. You look down at him, pushing all of his hair up past his hairline and covering it up until he looks hairless and then letting it all flop down in his face.
"It's okay, we can talk about it," you whisper, leaning in to kiss his forehead and pull away with a smile. 
"I hope they have your eyes," he says.
"No way, you've got stunners. They better have yours, daddy," you say, grinning wickedly.
"Daddy?"
"Yeah, daddio, better get used to it if you want to father our annoying yet gorgeous children."
He goes bug-eyed, staring you down in the dark, and then squinting when you cover your face to laugh.
"Not funny."
"I'm sorry! You should've seen your face, baby. Just a teensy weensy bit funny."
"You're my number one enemy right now."
"Fine, no babies for you."
Steve rucks up your shirt with haste, swiping his hand over your tummy before pressing his wet lips to the hot skin. And blowing a raspberry onto it.
"Steven! Get off of me!" you shout. He takes a very minor beating to his upper back before he laughs and wipes his mouth on his sleeve and settling his head back on your chest. You rub circles over the muscle you had attacked, whispering an apology and rolling your eyes.
"Okay, I hope they have your nose."
"I do have a great nose," you tease.
"Yes, you do," he says.
"I hope they all get a good mix of everything. Little franken-babies."
"I hope so, too. All six of them."
"Six??"
"Sorry, did you want more?"
"More???" you gasp. He chuckles.
"I'm kidding," he teases, plucking at the edge of your tee. "Six is the perfect number." You'd definitely be discussing that number later on.
stranger things masterlist
#steve harringtion#steve harrington fic#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x gn!reader#steve harrington blurb#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington fluff#fluff#x reader#x gn!reader#x gn reader#stranger things#stranger things x reader
949 notes
·
View notes
Text
the master baiter
TG: dont be mad
TG: ok thats like asking water not to be wet but
CG: WATER ISN'T FUCKING WET GOD DAMMIT.
TG: look whatever remember when you said you would die for me
TG: is that karkat in the room with us right now
======
CG: I'M DYING "FOR YOU" EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU PEEL OPEN THOSE SHIT-EATING LIPS YOU KEEP PULLED TAUT OVER YOUR DRONING IGNORANCE SHAFT.
TG: heheheh
======
CG: YOUR WORDSLUDGE SPEARS EVERY PARTICLE OF MY BODY WITH PINPOINT STRIDERIAN IDIOCY.
TG: oh shit here we go
CG: A VERBAL BARRAGE THAT PULVERIZES MY FLESH INTO A FINE RED MIST, KILLING ME INSTANTLY. WIPING ME THE FUCK OUT, TO SUCH AN INCREDIBLE DEGREE THAT PALEONTOLOGISTS CAN'T FULLY DISCERN IF A "KARKAT" FUCKING EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
CG: THEY'D BE SCRATCHING THEIR NUGBONES OVER IT FOR FUCKING SWEEPS, IF NOT FOR THE SHOCKING REALIZATION MERE MINUTES INTO THEIR DEBATES THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT.
======
CG: AND YET THE TEMPORAL DEVICE STILL SWAYS TO AND FRO IN CONSTERNATION. VEXED BY THE COMPLETE MENTAL VACANCY PUT BEFORE IT BY MY HUMBLE SACRIFICE, BOUND BY ITS COSMIC ROLE, BEGRUDGED BY MY UNSOLICITED DEATH CLOCKING IT INTO OVERTIME. IT HAS BETTER SHIT TO DO, GOD DAMMIT! IT HAS A LUSUS AND A HIVE TO GET BACK TO!
CG: "WHAT IS THIS. WHO LET THIS ASSHOLE IN HERE," IT SAYS. THEY AREN'T EVEN QUESTIONS, JUST ORBITAL SIGHS OF AN UNCARING UNIVERSE. A REALITY NOW KEENLY AWARE OF ITS OWN LAUGH TRACK.
CG: AND ITS PENDULUM TEETERS, TENTATIVE IN ITS OWN DISBELIEF AND PROFOUND APATHY.
TG: damn
======
CG: "THIS SCUMBAG ISN'T EVEN GODTIER YET," IT POINTS OUT. THE AUDIENCE FLIPS THEIR COLLECTIVE SHIT, AGHAST AT THIS REVELATION.
TG: hahaha
CG: IT WELLS UP SUCH A THRUM OF FUCKING ENNUI THAT THE TIMEPIECE FLIPS OFF-KILTER, LANDING SQUARELY IN THE "DUMBASS" ZONE WITH A "FUCK IT" LOUD ENOUGH TO REVERBERATE THROUGHOUT PARADOX SPACE.
======
CG: IT THEN ELECTS TO KICK MY PATHETIC FUCKING HALF-CORPSE BACK INTO THE LIVING PLANE AND FORCE ME, VENGEFULLY FROM THE AUDACITY OF MY OWN IDIOCY, TO REPEAT THIS CYCLE AD NAUSEAM
CG: UNTIL EXISTENCE ITSELF FINALLY CROAKS UNDER THE COMBINED WEIGHT OF OUR COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.
CG: BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK WOULD I BE IF I EVER GOT TO HAVE A BREAK?
======
TG: yep there he is thats him offincer
TG: the man after my own heart
TG: thats a karkat brand "soft yes" if i ever heard one and i know my karkatisms dude im a goddamn graduate in karkatology
TG: i got my degree in this shit
TG: im rocking up to our convos with the dumbass black square hat thing cocked 45 degrees
TG: literally incapable of snapping it back kinda by design of the stupid thing but damn if im not doing it anyways im emanating the snappitudes
TG: im rocking my intelligence right now
TG: also water is absolutely wet dude its like the wettest thing on the planet
CG: I'M NOT REPEATING MYSELF AGAIN
TG: yeah you are
CG: FUCK. I AM.
======
CG: I SAID THE LAST THREE TIMES IT'S A CONDITIONAL TERM--
TG: and im saying its common sense like being wet isnt conditional when youre the perpetual thing of wettening
CG: NO
TG: and brother it is THE wet
TG: like following your conditional argument
TG: if water isnt wet then the other water molecules are constantly making each other fuckin wet so its a moot point
TG: great philosophical debate
TG: which came first the water or the wet?
CG: DAVE
TG: think about it all those particles are wetting each other up all the time and shit
TG: its a fucked up display
CG: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
======
TG: pretty much a perpetual orgy of the elements
CG: DUDE.
TG: that sounds kinda sick actually if you dont think about what it means
TG: h2orgy
CG: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO VETO THIS STUPID DISCUSSION--
TG: tell me im wrong dude
CG: I'M UNIVERSE-APPOINTED TO HOVER AROUND YOU POINTING OUT EVERY DUMBASS TAKE YOU HAVE FOR THE REST OF TIME.
TG: thats so beautiful to me
TG: i could cry
#davekat#dave strider#karkat vantas#homestuck#comix#the master baiter#tabbydraw#this is my answer to artblock#late nite tgcg surprise
2K notes
·
View notes