#they’re so funny to me. ok. i like them a lot
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fyllophobia · 2 days ago
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think fast! surprise trust fall
#ffxiv#emet selch#hythlodaeus#hythades#ff14#fanart#all the stuff they used to do as little girls they’d still do for old time’s sake#the stupider the better like even pre-transition they’d fuck around like middle school boys#childhood friends brah who knows what they got up to as kids#ESPECIALLY if emet who constantly gas a stick up his ass considers his youth misspent#ohhhhh im emet selch and grown up now i have a reputation to uphold for the sake of the star#enter: hythlodaeus and azem bringing out his peanut brain that’s still buried in there#like i have a lot in my drafts of them as kids in amaurot and let me tell u it’s kinda funny#like it;s the shit the kids get up to and get into trouble for#combine emet’s insane aptitude of magicks and livid girlchild temper#like UNCONTROLLABLE cranky girltemper#and hythlodaeus’ much more pronounced carefree ‘getting away with it attitude’#dangerous combo for hijinks man they’ve been friends a long time hythlodaeus has seen all of emet’s embarrassing moments#it’s so funny that hythlodaeus is like ‘oh u want to know how he became emet selch ok sit down honey i’ll tell u everything’#emet needs to shut him up before hythlodaeus reveals his lore entire timeline#i can imagine him pinching his lips shut and hythlodaeus is still going#muffled unintelligible still wildly gesticulating#they’re a walking bit and so slapstick together it’s funny how comfy they are even if they riff off each other#these bitches on some universe level soulmate shit my senses were tingling the moment shade hythlodaeus was like ‘oh yeah we were…. close’#gay gay homosexual gay#absolutely completely interwoven into each others’ lives its amazing#AND they’re trans
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sanza-17 · 3 days ago
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New oc just dropped‼️🙏
I finally have a last Dragonborn oc and her name is Sereia and she is half-Breton and half-Altmer🥴 the drawing on the left is a recent piece and the one on the right is one from a year ago I think
The funny thing is that my vestige Irene actually used to me my ldb but then eso happened so ig not but anyways!! Sereia is the “adopted” daughter (bcs pregnancy is scary and nothing is coming out from between her legs lol) of Irene some time in the 4th era before the events of Skyrim, Irene found her abandoned outside of Daggerfall and has been raising her ever since despite the fact she would never see herself as a motherly figure. At some point when Sereia turns 18 she leaves Daggerfall/High rock to go journey down to cyrodill to go see her relative Yara (who is my forgotten hero/blades fugitive oc) but then the usual happens and now she’s stuck in Skyrim because she finds out she’s the Dragonborn😛 oh and she forms a group with taliesin, Lucien, Kaiden and inigo bcs she lacks male figures in her life😓 also odahviing is her best friend and her glorified Uber, she likes the dragon-slayer to dragon-rider transformation very much
You’re probably going to be wondering who the father is despite her being “adopted” ig we’ll never know🌚
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Lol. Are we surprised? :>
at first I was bored and wanted to create a character that was a mix of manni and Irene cuz why not but when I made Irene my vestige I needed a ldb oc so this new oc I made ages ago will fill in that missing spot. Ok so the thing is, is that Sereia wasn’t made through normal means and I had the idea that she was made by akatosh or something making her a sort of “divine creation” to be placed onto nirn at the right time so he could have someone fulfil the ldb prophecy and so he decided to make his champion both a mix of Irene and mannimarco (bcs why not, they’re two people who are connected in some form & Irene has a a good track record of being a hero as well as two of her descendants, yara and my HOK oc) which does make her biologically related to both of them but Irene and maybe manni who’s busy being a god/moon don’t know despite her looking a lot like Irene lol🤷🏽‍♀️
but ngl I like to think of her as a variant of Irene if that makes sense, like it’s Irene but in a different font
that’s about all that I can think of for now but I’ll explain more in future posts🫶 feel free to ask questions if u have any bcs I really wanna figure her lore out but so far, she is baby😩
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crimson-nail · 8 months ago
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same guy
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abigail · 10 months ago
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bakery last week !
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ao3screenshotss · 8 months ago
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doctordelicate-touch · 5 months ago
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Hi!! Quick sorry for inserting myself into every single conversation ever!! Okay bye bye!!
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truegoist · 2 years ago
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I want shido to turn out to be rllly insecure and shit
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plinkcat-gif · 1 year ago
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when i voice my discomfort brought on by something related to my neurodivergency (overstimulation, headache brought on by specific thing) or my allergies i need everyone to understand that it’s either relatable or funny
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dancing-with-stars · 11 months ago
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guys. guys !!!!
#vanu is rambling#ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence.#like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me#but like for these past couple months things have been different.#i don’t feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone.#like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or#i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey#where are you u shud join the call it’s rly fun ! but i just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment.#today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me#and also i have two moods: i’m either super talkative or i go into my little shell and don’t say anything/add to a convo. and like during#those moments they’ll be like hey u ok? or they’ll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears#and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg#and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? that’s okay i don’t wanna think about that.#because like who cares? i’m not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. i’ll always love them anyways. and we’ll always call.#i’m glad i met them. they’re all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends.#it’s just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i can’t. and they’re so understanding at the same time#they don’t get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable.#someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you don’t regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did#and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this there’s like a permanent#stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable.#like i’ve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter.#they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought i’d get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl.#they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me it’s OKAY to be vulnerable in#friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. they’re cool#people really. really cool people
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standingwavelattice · 2 years ago
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i made a pair of shorts out of an old skirt! first time doing it all on the sewing machine :)
some things i would do differently: pocket placement. and i would take more breaks so i don’t rush to Get It Done and then end up with a Situation like the pocket openings.
and i need to figure out how to use the machine without wrecking my upper back. that’s all! i’m very happy with them :)
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ID [first picture: some floral and paisley print black shorts on a black futon. the pattern has saturated greens, reds, and purples, but is dominated by gold.
second picture: the same shorts, but a pale hand holds the edge of a pocket, to show both a raw edge and another edge that isn’t fully attached to the seam.] end ID
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priestfrommidnightmass · 2 years ago
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running through water with gay kevin sounds like fun until you get back and are so so unbelievably cold
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latinokaeya-moving · 2 years ago
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treated myself to the very short beginning section of three houses just now but i had to stop n turn off my switch when the game asked me to pick a house bc i started agonising over whether to go w edelgard first or just jump straight into the claude route
#x#fe posting#everyone and their momma says to leave verdant wind for last bc it’s the most satisfying to tie up all loose ends route#and to do azure moon or crimson flower first. bc they work better as one of the first routes#and i TOLD myself ok ok sure i’ll do edelgard first then that’s fine. i like her and a lot of the black eagle characters im sure it’ll be#fun. but meeting claude in game and giggling n twirling my hair over everything he says is KILLING MEEEEEE i can’t abandon him i can’t IM#GONNA FEEL SOOOO BAD#he’s so charming crying real tears rn. i Know what i need to do but man…. pain n suffering …#i remember seeing a take somewhere once that said smth abt how claude gets so permanently shut out of the true potential of his goals on any#route that doesn’t pick him bc he doesn’t get the chance to really establish himself / figure out all the secrets of the game#and so he’s just narratively. barred/locked out from his dreams for good. and ever since i read that it makes me wanna crawl up n DIE when#i think abt it CLAUDE. CLAUDEEEEEEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also just in general he’s SOO funny and quirky i love him so much he only said like maybe ten lines total but he’s literally such a riot#playing the game while knowing what his entire deal is is HILARIOUS he’s so fucking funny. and painfully tragic even from the get go. AUGH#one of his first things being calling himself the embodiment of distrust is so. it’s just so!!!!! like he WANTS u to know it’s all an act#EVERYONE knows it he’s not being subtle at all BUT THATS THE POINT!!!!! bc if everyone knows it’s an act that he plays around w then they#wont go snooping around as much!!!! AUGHHHHHHHHH !!!! CLAUDE !!!!#im going crazy i shouldn’t have played this i need to finish my last assignment first. n then i can lose my mind over claude#OHHH also can i just say his + edelgards first interactions are SOOOOO funny they’re so much fun. i love their little banter n back n forth#literally iconic showstopping no one can top them EVER#anyways. it’s almost 3am i need to sleep n write my essay tmrw lol
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oxydiane · 2 years ago
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we talk a lot about how sasuke and naruto are so crazy about each other but there’s never enough attention on how the rest of the naruto cast Also thinks they are two fucking lunatics. like we are not alone on this. you have jiraiya telling naruto he needs to not go and chase a mf who tried to snatch his heart out his ribcage and naruto is like no i’d rather be a fucking moron for the rest of my life honestly. you have naruto leaving a mission and saying sory i cannot stay i need to go home and wait for sasuke and the fucking platypus looks at him ???? like he even had me confused where are you goin g to wait? ? why are you saying that like sasuke is coming back the fuck did i miss??? you have the kage summit arc which is just a whole bucket of ice being dropped onto you because you come in and immediately get slapped in the face by naruto letting himself be beat up because he won’t tell them where sasuke is??? like he has any fucking idea where sasuke is. and sai tries to make him come to his senses like naruto??? naruto WHAT ARE U DOING. it’s so bad they need an intervention. right after that naruto faces the raikage and gets on his knees saying i know my almost boyfriend almost killed your brother but i promise it wasn’t on purpose he was just being silly please don’t put a bounty on his head a war will literally ensue. and like. there’s LAYERS to this. 1. even RAIKAGE is like BOY what are you doing. STAND UP. 2. at this point you can count the people who like sasuke on the fingers of one hand like WHO is gonna start a war over him… naruto out there moving a war against a whole country by himself over his bf ok you go girl i guess. after this it gets even worse like gaara has to go up to him and be like SASUKE DOWSNT CARE ABOUT YOU. HE DOES NOT WANT YOU. and naruto just slaps his hand away in front of his family like rude?????? ignoring anything it is hilariouuusssss and then sai is like sorry. sakura lied to you they are actually off to kill sasuke and naruto gets a panic attack so severe he passes out. like i am not joking it was so bad his friends tried to kill sasuke behind his back. and then naruto escapes bedriddenment (is that a word?) after passing out from his panic attack to run and make sure NOBODY kills sasuke. like he’s on a RUSH leaping those trees he’s a boy on a mission. then after he gets there he’s like kakashi DO NOT TOUCH HIM. they launch themselves at each other bla bla gay monologues did you see what was in my heart and then. and then naruto is like. wait sasuke. and sasuke waits like sorry that’s such a little thing but it’s so funny to me like sasuke was just acting a lil murderous crazy manic wtv but naruto told him to wait and he waits. ok good boyfriend. anyways moving on naruto is like do you get it sasuke. if we fight again we will BOTH DIE! (everybody gets a ?????? bubble) i am the only one who can shoulder all that hatred. i will CARRY THE BURDEN OF YOUR HATRED AND WE WILL DIE TOGETHER! and . absolutely Everybody in that room just goes ???????????? what the FUCK is he TALKING ABKHT. everybody except sasuke. sasuke smirks and he’s like sure. they just talked about dying together and meeting each other in a different life where they’ll be free of their burdens and they’re just Fine and all ok smiling at each other and everyone is so fucking confused. like the entire supporting cast is with us side eyeing sasuke and naruto and thinking what in the everloving FUCK is WRONG WITH YOU????????
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rogueddie · 1 year ago
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There are a lot of rumors about Eddie Munson. From his sexuality, to his religion, to him being some sort of supernatural creature.
Steve doesn’t put a lot of merit in most of them. They’re usually just bullshit people make up to entertain themselves with whilst beating down on the weird kid. Steve thinks it’s boring… usually.
He’s seen enough weird things happen around Munson to know that something isn’t right. Something about him is unnatural. And Steve is staying clear out of the way of whatever the hell he is, or whatever the hell he’s messing with.
Unfortunately, his friends haven’t gotten the message.
“Do it at your own house!” Steve complains, though he makes no move to stop them. He’s sure it’s nothing, that it’ll only lead to an annoying clean-up job, but there’s a nagging sense of dread writhing in his gut. “This shit is bull anyway.”
“If it’s bull then what’s the problem?” Tommy counters.
“Because none of you dickheads are going to help clean this shit up!”
“I promise to help you clean up,” Carol says. “There. Problem solved. Right?”
"It's still stupid," Steve mutters, glaring at the janky make-shift pentagram they've made. "And a bad idea."
It's drawn on nine pieces of paper- they wanted to draw it big on the floor, but Steve had but his foot down. He lets them use some of his moms candles as a compromise.
With the lights off, sitting with the two of them in a circle, it suddenly feels too real. Even Carol looks suddenly nervous.
Tommy is the only one still smirking, though Steve is sure that it's forced. His voice shakes a little as he begins reading off the paper he'd torn out a library book. His Latin is clunky.
At first, nothing happens.
Long enough that Carol says, "did you even say it right?"
"Yes, it even has-" Tommy starts.
The candles all blow out, suddenly. The light Steve had left on in the kitchen flicks off too, plunging them into complete darkness.
After a horrible moment, where they're still and silent, Carol yelps.
"Don't grab me, Tommy, that's not funny!"
"I didn't grab you."
"Wh- Steve?"
"No," is all Steve can get out.
"I'm turning the lights on," Tommy says. "This is ridiculous."
Steve listens to his footsteps and, when he sounds like he's almost at the light switch, he yelps.
"Fuck this," he says.
"What the fuck, Tommy!" Carol yells when they both hear him running past them. She's up on her feet immediately, chasing after him.
He wants to scream after them, plead with them to come back, that they shouldn't be abandoning the circle.
But, the same gut instinct that insists he stay where he is, keeps his mouth shut. Everything in his being is telling him that if he leaves, if he speaks first, horrible things will happen to him.
Something tuts, like a parent admonishing a child.
The living room light flicks on, so bright that Steve has to blink a few times to clear away the white spots.
Eddie Munson sits in the space they left empty.
"Someone didn't read the terms and conditions," he snickers.
"What..." Steve pauses, clearing his throat. "What are the, uh... terms and conditions?"
"Oh, they're simple, really. Look," he holds up the page Tommy had read the incantations from, pointing to the little paragraph at the end. "They even translated it to English! But all you need to know, big boy, is that you are A-OK."
"And... Tommy and Carol?"
"Eh, they're fine. Lucky, really. I'm trying to relax up here. I'm only gonna pay them back with a minor curse or two. Nothing lethal."
"Fuck."
"We haven't even got to you yet!" He spins around so hes laying on his belly, resting his chin on his palm. "You didn't technically summon me so you can just tell me to leave... or."
"Or?"
"Deal with no consequence, baby. One wish, whatever you want, free of charge. Well... I'd want your silence about the whole... summoning thing. Let's consider that payment."
He doesn't need his gut or book to warn him that it's a bad idea. Munson could be lying, easily. There could be fine print. It's a bad, very bad idea.
"There's... definitely no consequences? I won't, like, go to hell for this?" Steve finally asks.
"Do some charity work for a week, you'll be fine," he says, waving his hand around. "What do you want, King Steve?"
"Could- could you make someone love me?"
"Oh, ho ho ho! Who's the unlucky lady who said no to you?"
"No, it... it's not like that. I mean, um... my mom."
Munsons smile drops. The temperature drops with it, making a chill run up Steves spine.
"Your mom," he repeats.
"They're busy like, all the time," Steve automatically defends. "And they're barely here so, uh... of course they wouldn't- I mean, it's normal, right? You can't love a stranger or... whatever. It's fine. It's just... I don't know."
"Steve..." Munson pauses.
He groans, throwing his head into his hands, dramatically. He almost immediately flings his head back up, hair flying everywhere, giving Steve wide and pleading eyes.
"I can't make people fall in love or any shit like that. I can make illusions, that's it. Love is, like... way out of my jurisdiction."
"I- I'm ok with an illusion. Like, just one day or something."
"Steve, baby, you're breaking my heart."
"Please?"
"Jesus- ok!" Grumbling, Munson shifts so he's kneeling. "And in return, you won't say shit about any of this. Deal?"
"Deal."
"Great. Ugh. This next part is... weird."
"What do you mean, weird?"
"It's weird, I don't know. Deals about, like, love are sealed with a kiss."
"You're joking."
"Nope, and that's not even the weird part. Now, come on and pucker up, let's get this over with." He gestures for Steve to shuffle closer, waiting until they're sat close enough that their knees almost bump together. "You can still change your mind. Anything at all, Steve. Anything."
"I thought you wanted to get this over with?"
"On your head..."
Munson leans forward, kissing him. It's just a peck, simple and easy. No big deal, right?
Steve feels possessed. It's like someone lit a match in his stomach, leaving him lightheaded and confused. He's not sure how he ends up in Eddie's lap, clutching onto his shoulders, desperately trying to lick into his mouth. He feels so-
He wakes up in his bed, the morning light blinding him.
"What the fuck..." he mutters to himself, grabbing at his throbbing head.
At first, he thinks he's hungover. That he'd just had a weird dream... but he's wearing the same clothes. And, sat on his stomach, is a guitar pic. It's got 'corroded coffin' written on it too- Eddie's band.
"Steve!" He hears his mom call. "Time to get up!"
He scrambles out of bed, dashing down the stairs.
She smiles when she spots him, so bright and warm. She even raises an arm, laughing when he practically throws himself into her side and hugging her tight.
"Morning, sweetheart. Good dreams?"
"Yeah. Yeah, great. But, uh... I feel sick."
"Oh no," she frowns. She puts her hand to his forehead, cooing when she brushes his hair out his face. "Is it your stomach?"
"Yeah. Just... might be better to stay home today. If that's ok?"
"Of course it is. I'm sure we can find something fun to do together, yeah? How about we get a vhs movie, hm?"
"I'd love that."
"Great. Well, if you're feeling up to it, I've made breakfast." She steps away, plating the food she's cooked up. "Oh, did I ever tell you about Paris? It was beautiful, you would have loved it. We should bring you, next time we go."
Steve can't stop smiling. He's sure that his cheeks will be aching by the end of the day.
He'll have to thank Eddie- as soon as he can even think about him without blushing. He'll need to ask if it's normal to still feel... affected, even after the deal is done.
Part of him knows it isn't the deal. Part of him is too curious about how Eddie will react.
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thineferalrats · 9 months ago
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NSFW alphabet///Vander
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Warnings: nsfw content (MDNI 🔞)
I havnt spell checked this yet.
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A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
He is DEFINITELY a aftercare guy, making sure your taken care, he’s a busy man so the aftercare sometimes is not as long as he would want it to be sometimes but he douse what he can, even if it’s just words of affirmation or a-lot of kisses and hugs after a quicky (if tho they don’t happen often cuz he really douse not care for them) but when he douse have time he WILL cuddle you all night and kiss you, and tell you how amazing it was, and remind you how gorgeous you are. Definitely keep the praise up even after everything is done.
B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
On himself I think we can all agree his arms, or his hair, I feel he’s very proud of his hair being nice and full for his age ya know.
Now ok his partner, no one can tell me he is not a tittie guy, size is not really the thing but he definitely would not mind barring his head in some nice big tits (who wouldn’t) or maybe even a thigh kinda guy, but I also feel like his like non sexual favorite part would be your face, or more specifically your smile seeing you laugh or smile is one of the best sights on earth in his opinion
C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)  
Creampies. All that needs to be said. I feel like in the beginning of y’all’s relationship he would use a condom but once he’s comfort with you, your gonna need some birth control or be ready for kiddo number 5, but if birth control is not a option he would understand and use protection or pull out. Also hear me out I feel like he Definitely gets off when you give him head and shallow it ya know.
D: Dirty Secret
Definitely thought about either 1. Fucking you as hard as humanly possible In an ally way, (especially when you tease him when walking home) or 2. Bending you over the bar and pounding into you like there’s no tomorrow, with or without people but these are just fantasy’s he probably won’t act on since he don’t wanna get caught in a ally by someone he knows or worse the kids and the bar one would just get him in trouble but then again tease him enough and the first one might just seem just reasonable enough
E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
I feel like he definitely knows what he’s doing, he’s been alive for 45 years so he’s definitely picked up a thing or two from his very eventful youth, he definitely knows how to eat you out to the point your nails are engraving scratch marks on the wooden beside table, now he douse not really know much about the well kinkyer side of thing but knows the basics and some other small things and is good at it definitely
F: Favorite Position
Now he’s not a complete vanilla person but this man loves some good old missionary lets me honest, he likes being able to see your face and have access to your clit to. But I also feel like he enjoys Cowgirl to so we can see all the expressions you make. I feel like he wouldn’t mind doggystyle either tbh, on your side to when y’all wake up or something to.
G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)
If something funny happens like you falling off the bed he’s gonna laugh but also ask if your ok why laughing, he’s a very humorous dude ya know
H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Man douse his best but he douse not get much time to shave with 4 kids running around causing mayhem everywhere they go. I feel like to be honest he really don’t care to shave unless it gets bad. Now if it bothered you or something he definitely do his best to shave as often as he had time to
I: Intimate (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
He’s a really intimate guy, loves telling you how gorgeous you are but also don’t get me wrong the second you where to ask him “faster or harder” he would go FERAL cuz I feel like he definitely holds back because he douse not wanna hurt you or anything but he douse enjoy a nice and easy intimate time with you. I feel like he secretly has no patience, but he has grown to have some because of the kids and stuff.
J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
He most definitely used to, but I feel like now he douse it like non to very little, mainly cuz of the kids but when you came into his life he felt no need to. Cuz he’d rather have you then his own hand, the only way I could see this man doing it is if he’s had a really long day and your asleep when he comes to bed and he needs to blow off some steam or something.
K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)  
I think everyone has agreed this man has a breeding kink which as you see now explains why I said what I did before hand about the creampies. Bro has a bondage kink, (both ways), definitely douse not mind putting his hand around your neck but he would really wanna squeeze or anything cuz he douse not wanna hurt you in any way. Anyway No one can argue with these, Size kink and overstimulation (both ways) and marking for sure but would help you hide the marks if you wanted to
L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)
His bedroom. Other places are to Risky for his liking, he douse not want the kids walking in on anything, now it’s not his favorite but if it called for it and he couldn’t make it to the bedroom and yall having sexual tension up to the sky and the bar is closed and the kids are asleep, The bar but the doors are being locked and clothes won’t come completely off.
M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Let’s be honest here man has a high sex drive but don’t ever admit it, cuz really all it takes is you giving him a decent view or sneaky kisses, or even just whispering something in his ear, but he has the some insane willpower and will wait till y’all are alone, I also feel like being confidant would get him going like you helping him behind the bar and when no one’s paying attention whisper how badly you want him and then walk away or act like you’ve said nothing.
A good way tho to get railed into the mattress is small teasing all through the day running your hands in his hair that or a very sneak brush against his crotch, like moving by him and pressing your ass into him or something, but making it seem innocent but he’s knows it was on purpose cuz he’s smart he’ll figure it out,
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Anything like really kinky or rough like slapping punching and he’s definitely against knife play won’t go near it, I mean he don’t mind being rough with you when railing you, but anything thst would hurt you just no
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He really enjoys eating you out let’s be honest tho, he loves sees your head go back and your back arch off the bed (or bar) when your about to finish, he loves when your thighs squeeze around his face to be honest
But with that I wanna say he definitely loves when you give him head let’s be honest, as I said before this ties in, but like he definitely likes it, being able to grab your hair and mouth fuck you is chefs kiss for him
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
I feel like at first he would be gental but the longer y’all are doing it the faster that man is getting intell he reaches absolute feral, definitely would have to bite something or have your mouth covered near the end
Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Not a fan, he’s a very romantic and he really can’t be romantic or anything with quickies, he would much rather take his time with you, but if you have been teasing him all day and he knows he’s not gonna get the time in a good minute to fuck you into the mattress, he’ll settle for a quickie in the storage room with the door locked
R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Not really a risky person because again he douse not want the kids walking in on anything. Now before the kids he was a very risky and an experimental person. But has calmed down ALOT now that the kids are in his life and you. I feel like he’s still a little experimental, he’s willing to try anything with in reason that you wanna try
S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last, etc.)
He has ALOT of stamina, u can’t tell me don’t, bro was a one man army. He can definitely go 3-4 rounds or 5 if the rounds are not long, but he definitely prefers to draw them out for awhile, he will make you finish more then he douse, like bro will finish idk 3 or 4 times in the end and you’ll finish like 5 times now this is if y’all have the time, this is another reason he’s not a fan of quickies, now In his younger years I feel like he definitely hade quickies and maybe even some one night stands.
T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
I feel like he’s not a big fan of them cuz he feels if a toy can do it so can he, but if there was a toy you wanted to use or try he wouldn’t be against it as long as it’s not to extreme, I feel like he definitely wouldn’t mind vibrators tho, using a small one on your clit why fucking you, he could approve of because really the better you feel the better he feels (he’s such a service top),
now toys for him I feel like he’s not a big fan of cuz for him your enough and he has no interest or need for them.
U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)
I feel like he definitely will tease you, whisper in your ear or give you a sneaky kiss the on the neck or slap on the ass. He definitely douse not mind you teasing him back just as long as it’s not obvious and you do it sneakily, definitely if there’s no one around he will reach put his hands up your shirt or down your pants but only for a second and then go back to whatever he was doing.
V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
I feel like he’s not a extremely vocal during it but that’s just because of this kids I feel like if your alone and no one’s in the house he’d definitely make some decent noise, I feel like he mainly just likes hearing you noises you make, definitely would encourage your noises if your home alone but if there’s kids home he’d cover your mouth or give you something to bite (even if it’s himself)
W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)
He definitely would not mind being a bottom and letting you be in control sometimes as long as you know what your doing and you feel good, since he’s always been the one in charge of everything I feel like he’d enjoy a break from it and letting someone boss him around a bit would be a good break for him, definitely feel like he would blush and crumble if you called him a good boy and praised him. Plus this ties in with him liking cowgirl definitely.
X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)  
Just DAM, bro is a big man so he definitely is at least packing a good 9 inch’s (or more) feel like girth is just a 10/10 to lets be honest.
Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
As I said before man has a higher sex drive then he would probably like, one look from you and he’d wanna go feral. I feel like if he had a partner that was the same way there would be a decent amount of sexy time
Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards
He’s a dad what do ya think, he can fall asleep anywhere and everywhere, he’d make sure your ok and comfortable first tho before even thinking about falling asleep, and would cuddle you. He’d be very easy to wake up tho if you needed something tho, but i definitely feel like it depends on how tired he is before yall even did anything.
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A/n- JESUS this took longer then i expected I would have made them longer if i had the time and I might add on to them later on.
Hope yall liked itttttt 💕💕💕💕
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neuvistar · 2 years ago
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poly jingren x reader has been on my mind 4 so longgg.. ITS SO BADD. please give me more thirsts or thoughts abt poly!jingren x reader i’m lovin them rn | hint of fluff, mostly nsfw
short lil thirst ! jing yuan + blade x fem!reader (use of she/her pronouns), big dick jing yuan + blade foreal, reader implied 2 be shorter in height, degrading terms (whore, slut, etc), mentions of squirting, mating press + full nelson, SIZE KINK!! SIZE KINK!!, blade’s a lil mean but it’s ok bc it’s blade!, cum cum lots of cum (sounds funny but it’s okay </3) | overall suggestive content minors do not interact
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poly!jingren who would have different tolerance of your brattiness. jing yuan having the highest patience for u n blade having the least! you always run to jing yuan whenever blade talks abt punishing u n he thinks it’s soso cute :(( he’s always protecting you, nuzzling against his chest with your arms wrapped around his huge body, ur so cute! a darling you are..
jing yuan always tried dodging the idea of you wearing short skirts in public, why? you would make his dick hard, easy. but, you decided it was a good idea to wear the shortest skirt known 2 mankind one day, paying him a visit at his office. imagine this, jing yuan would be at his office doing work at his desk n all of the sudden you walk in looking all slutty, a short skirt that just barely covers your plushy thighs and ass, he would brush it off at first up until you purposely drop the pen on his desk bending down to pick it up. once you stood up, you would already be bent over his desk. that’s what you wanted, after all. “are you trying to tempt me, dove? because it sure is working.” jing yuan has zero patience whenever you’re acting like a whore in public, he would plant kisses all over your back and pound into you like there’s no tomorrow, his big dick stretching you out :(( choked moans would leave your throat, rambling on about how rough he was being with you, and that people might hear you and walk in, but he didn’t care, infact that was the last of his worries. he savoured the feeling of your tight walls pulsing around his cock, cumming inside and cumming on your panties too! i hope u’ll enjoy the stickiness between your thighs <3 (he’ll snitch to blade too abt it, what a bitch)
poly!jingren would be protective over you, even though they’re a pain to be with sometimes due to their constant arguments and disagreements, dating them does have its benefits. they would stand on either side of you, one on your left and one on your right. geez, you look so cute compared to them, it’s like you were walking around with two dogs on your leash, reading to pounce at anyone who dares speak ill of you or touches you. speaking of size.. i feel like they’d both have a size kink, you’re just so short compared to them they can’t help but fantasize about bending you over and fucking you in different positions, i feel like they both each have their favourites on that.
jing yuan loves putting you in a mating press, he likes it becuz it makes him cum quicker! not even a few thrusts and he’s already cumming inside, loving how you squirt all over his cock. he would press your knees against your chest, folding you in half almost. he would gently draw circles on your knee while the tip of his dick kisses your cervix, he’s so sweet to you though.. whispering praises in your ear. he would catch you off guard sometimes due to how sweet he was with you, not noticing how much he came, staring down at the mess he made in your cunt w cum seeping out </3
blade would absolutely love folding you in a full nelson, bro has sm strength it scares you sometimes. he would hook his arms under your knees, thrusting his hips into you. “sucha’ whore for my cock, aren’t you? you like it when i fuck you hard like this, don’t you?” mmm also also maybe if he’s feeling it, i bet bro would let jing yuan would join too, but he wouldn’t impale you with his dick like blade is, no.. he would rub his cock against your slit, placing kisses on your legs. honestly, jing yuan is your saviour atp. cuz everytime blade folds you in a full nelson, he’s always concerned that he’ll break you, so he tries telling him to ease it up a bit with you <3
poly!jingren would have god like stamina and strength, great speed n strength comes w great consequences! whether it is in a non sexual way or not, i feel like their stamina n strength would be useful in your relationship, its a lil cute since ur kinda shorter in height n they would always tower over u n help i get things from the high shelf or cabinet, it’s so cute! <33 but yet.. it’s a lil scary in bed cuz they can last so long w u and fuck you until you forget your own name, but it’ll be fine!! you can handle them!
poly!jingren both probably didn’t realize they had a size kink until they got intimate with you, it was probably the last of their worries up until one night. blade would probably notice a cute little bump on your stomach, noticing just how small you rlly are compared to them, jing yuan would too! honestly they both just love how their huge cocks slide in and out of your pussy, the bulge on your stomach going down, up, down up, over and over again! you’re just so.. cute they can’t help but stretch your little pussy out a bit.
“cmon sweetheart, you got this. you’re so cute, mhm.. you can handle more right?“
“sure she can, she’s strong girl. if shes— mmp.. squeezing around us like that, i’m sure she can handle more.”
“mm.. mhm. i can see that.” jing yuan leaned down, bringing his voice down to a whisper, “do you like it when we stretch you out with our cocks like this, baby?”
“fuck yeah she does, look at her. she’s creaming on our cocks already. s’ messy.”
poly!jingren who would both try their best to be gentle to you, sometimes it backfires but you don’t seem to mind! what’s very true about them is they both don’t want to hurt you in anyway, sure they fuck you hard enough and punish you but their intentions r never to hurt u, they would always ask you if you’re okay, even if they see the slightest hint of discomfort or pain in your face. especially jing yuan, he’s rlly rlly sweet n same goes to blade but he shows it in his own way. u know that blade doesn’t mean half of the things he says (he knows ur a slut for their cock tho but that’s besides the point) n sometimes he can get carried away but he would apologize with a simple “sorry.” and ask you if he was too rough on you, both r sweethearts yk
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